What I like about Peter’s project is that he took the question “What can you do for your community?” seriously, came up with an answer and implemented it. Because he has taken on a challenge to improve his community (and more), Peter’s actions remind me of the movie Pay it Forward.

Rather than point out the underlying beliefs that Peter exhibits, check out his post and see what you think: Fighting Hunger One Can A Week. By the way, Peter has influenced several people around the US to accept his challenge. Any takers?

(Beth and I participated for over a year in our neighborhood.)

Additional reading: National Service Blog: United We Serve 

I would love to hear what you think about Peter’s project. Share your feedback and comments below. 

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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

This remarkable system has the ability to make sense of information from the outside and process it, conveying a sense of “butterflies” when we experience something new, different or exciting. So those of you who “trust your gut” or react to a “gut instinct” are actually tapping into the wisdom in your body.

For those of you who want to “follow your heart” or “live your heart’s desire,” it turns out that the heart itself has an amazing amount of computing power. It has a memory and can process complex emotions, so don’t let people talk you out of following your heart or listening to your heart.

Ultimately, the key is to integrate your gut instincts and your heart’s desire with the ability to think logically. These are all important ways to understand your world experiences, and it is likely that you have developed one more than the others. One is not better than another, just different; so don’t let anyone talk you out of your preferred way of making sense of what’s going on around you. You’re just manifesting a different kind of intelligence.

Neuro-gastroenterologists believe that listening to your stomach can help you strengthen your immune system, and the Institute of HeartMath has been working on ways to tap into the intelligence of the brain and the heart. You can learn more about these topics via the March download and the resources below.

Additional Reading

Basic and Clinical Neurocardiology by J. Andrew Armour and Jeffrey L. Ardell
The Heart’s Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart Energy by Paul Pearsall
The Second Brain: The Scientific Basis of Gut Instinct and a Groundbreaking New Understanding of Nervous Disorders of the Stomach and Intestines by Michael Gershon
Institute of HeartMath
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I would love to hear what you think about this research. Share your feedback and comments below.

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P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Salka endures a chiropractic session for his injury.

I’m sitting on my patio working outside because I am attending to Salka, our Alaskan Malamute, who suffered a fractured scapula on Sunday. One minute he was in a game of chase with Oliver, the Chesapeake Bay Retriever next door, and the next he was howling like a hurt puppy. It was clear something had happened, and I could see he was favoring one of his right feet.

I had just come from my soccer game and was still dressed in my uniform, so I quickly changed shoes, and then we had to get him into the SUV. It was hard not only because he weighs in at a solid 90 pounds but also because he was in pain from being lifted.

The whole emergency vet service experience seemed like going to a hospital ER, but the people were friendlier. He received X-rays, and we had to wait for them to be interpreted. Then after many hours the verdict, a broken scapula, that would not require surgery but does require six to eight weeks of rest. Ha! They don’t know this Malamute, who likes to go for as many walks as possible.

Well, we have had to rearrange our house to accommodate a dog who can no longer get up off slippery tile. We’ve had to pull out old rugs to cover those bare areas. Most of all we have to shift our schedules and enlist Beth’s mother to be sure, at least for the first two weeks, that someone will be home with Salka to help him up and out to eliminate. Poor boy, he is still clearly hurting and uncomfortable.

When emergencies strike, how do you respond? I found myself stepping forward but then being scared and sad and taking out my frustration briefly with the vet clerk when I discovered what X-rays cost.

I could do a whole post on the cost of all medical care, including animal care, but I won’t.  What I can tell you is that I was happy to pay what it cost in order to relieve Salka of suffering. I suppose that I really don’t have a theme for this post other than to get my feelings out, because ultimately what most of my work has been about is helping people respond to the challenges in their lives. So I will keep readers apprised of his progress because after he recovers I want him to go back to his job of helping me promote my work. Salka asked that you keep him in your thoughts, and (LOL) send some positive thoughts and prayers my way also.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

If you’re ready to discover what’s really blocking the flow of the clients, income and opportunities you seek, you’re going to LOVE this no-cost resource from my friend and colleague, Elizabeth Purvis:

“The Art Of Feminine Magic:

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On this super-juicy, high-content training call, you’ll discover:

• The secret reason why “attraction” can feel like work, and what to do instead to create results with ease and flow (instead of struggle)

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• Feminine secrets to becoming magnetic to awesome, high-paying clients

• The 1 simple step you can take each day to attract an overflow of new clients and opportunities to your business – starting right now

• How to go from “accidental creator” to being the Divine Feminine Magician of your business and life – so you can claim your space, impact more lives and make more money doing what you love

The secret to success is NOT working harder – it’s mastering some simple keys to make what you want happen automatically, without struggle.   Elizabeth is known for helping her clients make big income leaps very quickly – she can show you how!

Register for the call here (and get the recording too).

What is common with all of these clients is that they prompt feelings in us. Usually those feelings are difficult to be with, such as irritation, helplessness, frustration or even anger. Though the specific emotions may differ, what is often consistent from coach to coach is the difficulty we experience with such feelings. So what’s the solution?

One potential and powerful solution is to learn how to be with our own uncomfortable feelings. For this, I would like to offer a model from the work of Robert Dilts and his wife Deborah. It’s called the “COACH” model.

Understanding the COACH Model

COACH is an acronym for Centered, Open-minded attitude and state, Aware (alert and awake), Connected and Holding space. Let’s look at each of these.

What happens when you are centered? When you talk about being centered, you’re usually referring to a state of solidness and confidence, an overall sense of being at peace with yourself. In all of the martial arts, being centered is a prerequisite to being able to do the practice. It is usually felt in the muscles and in the belly. Being centered allows you to operate from your power.

An open-minded attitude makes possible curiosity and understanding. It means you’re able to suspend your own idea of what is so, focusing instead on what is so for your client. Your questions are intended to gather information so you can understand what is going on in your client’s life. Curiosity goes hand-in-hand with this state.

Awareness is a state that goes hand-in-hand with open-mindedness. Awareness requires a focus both inward and outward. It is the ability to notice and track what is going on with you. It is also linked to the state of being centered because centering itself requires setting an intent and having an awareness of how to achieve it. Awareness makes possible connection.

Connection is required to do your best work with your clients. Connection makes possible deep understanding and profound change. Connection is what makes NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) possible, and what makes NLP great is high-level connecting. Without a relationship and without connecting, coaching will suffer and might even be ineffective.

Holding refers to holding a space in which change becomes possible or likely. How many times have you said or heard it said, “I just want to hold a space for them”? You may have also heard clients say, “She held space for me so I was able to look at painful truths.” So there is recognition of the importance of “holding space.”

So what does all of this actually mean? It means that when you learn how to provide the four prerequisites: centered, open, aware and connected, you can create the prime conditions to hold space for your clients, enabling them to explore and discover their own truths, which makes change possible.

This is just an overview of the COACH model. There are some specific exercises and processes that can help you master this more easily. Notice that as your ability to manage your own state increases, change becomes more possible for your clients.

Are you ready to learn to use the COACH model for the sake of your clients?

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I would love to hear how well the COACH Model works for you. Share your feedback and comments below.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

He also encourages you to have a peek at his latest video:

Beliefs themselves are generalizations from experience or experiences. Once a belief is in place, it is sustained by two processes: distortion and deletion. Distortion means that when an event or occurrence is different from the pre-held belief, we go through a process of making a different meaning or coming up with an explanation that fits our pre-existing belief. Deletion happens when something contrary to our beliefs is ignored—it’s as though it never happened. Beliefs rarely are changed by direct confrontation; the opposite is true, for they tend to become more entrenched.

One concrete way we allow deletion to continue is by pre-selecting the kind of information we expose ourselves to. I don’t think it would come as a surprise to anyone that news channels often have a recognized bias. That is equally true with radio outlets, publications, websites, etc. It is unlikely that you will change beliefs if your reading or listening preferences are not challenged.

This plays out in another way also. Political speak on both sides uses words and terms in imprecise ways. For example, you will often hear a politician say, “the American people want ______ (fill in the blank)” as though there is an entity called “American people” that thinks in a unique way. This is particularly interesting when polls often suggest a near-even split about issues.

Words like “always” or “never” go unchallenged, and then there’s the all-time favorite: “everyone knows.” What’s interesting about these patterns is that listeners tend to fill in their own meanings rather than asking for specificity. An example of asking for specificity would be to inquire, “Who specifically knows?”

Another example that can be heard from spokesman on both sides is a variation of “We’re going to take back the country from…” One response to that might be “Take it back from whom, specifically?” or “Take it back how, exactly?” In order for the initial statement to make sense, you have to understand what is presupposed. Somehow the country was “given away” or “taken,” so knowing how specifically one thinks of that helps to create more understanding.

Will reading this cause one to shift beliefs? Unlikely. What it may do is encourage critical thinking. One of the downsides of learning about beliefs is that listening to political speeches becomes a very different experience. I often assign my students the task of listening to debates or political channels so they can catalog and then write appropriate challenges to what they hear. It matters not what channel you choose because there will be plenty of examples to learn from.

So what do you think (specifically)? I welcome your comments below.

P.S. Do you want to share this post? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/

Given that you are asking your clients to stay with and process uncomfortable feelings, your ability to model that behavior is as important as any other work that you’ll do with them. It is one of the attributes that high-end coaches must develop.

This is at the heart of the idea of “holding space” for your clients. This also will resonate with the idea that what you resist persists. It’s often the feeling about the feeling that’s the problem, not the feeling itself. For instance, if you are welcoming of your fear, that’s different than being fearful of or embarrassed about your fear.

So in addition to being able to be with uncomfortable feelings, it’s the ability to have a welcoming, curious attitude that will allow you to manage what would otherwise be extremely difficult or even seem impossible.

As always, let me know how I can help. Just share a limiting-beliefs question that has been challenging you or a client, and I’d be happy to address it here or in a future issue of the newsletter. Call me at 520.237.4435 or e-mail me at Terry@terryhickey.com with your question.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

Before you work on a behavioral change, it’s important to pay attention to the level at which the problem occurs. You need to be sure that you really are working at the behavioral level. (See my blog for information on this topic: Do You Know the Logical Levels for Successful Change?)

The next step is to establish a clear outcome and frame it in the positive. It should be a very clear goal expressed in terms of what is wanted—not what isn’t wanted. Rather than “I don’t want to be broke next year,” it should be reframed to say, “I want to make [specific income amount] in the coming year.”

Once you know what the client wants and what they have now, then the next question to ask is “What will bridge the gap?” Sometimes that can actually involve a behavioral technique. For example, someone might actually need a strategy for handling their appointment calendar. If that works, great. If not, you want to go back to the drawing board and ask, “What would have to happen so that you could manage your calendar the way you want to?” That question will likely tease out an underlying belief. If that’s the case, then you know the work is at the belief level.

Some of these questions might tease out a “part of me” answer: “Part of me wants to do this, and part wants to do that.” If that’s the case, you’ll need to do some integration work so that the parts can be in harmony.

As your coaching becomes more focused, you’ll discover that the work you are doing is more at the beliefs and values and the identity level than at the behavioral level.

Please feel free to share this tip with anyone you think might enjoy it. When doing so, please forward it in its entirety, including the copyright information and the bio below. Thanks, and enjoy!

About Terry

Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW.

Check out Terry’s website, http://terryhickey.com/, to find out more about his coaching, Belief Breakthrough Method opportunities and other services. Be sure to download his FREE audio interview: 3 Most Perilous Coaching Mistakes That Will Stop Your Clients in Their Tracks.

• Beliefs and Values: this level addresses how you organize your experience in the world; remember, a belief is a generalization from experience. Beliefs are adopted early on and become our guiding force, not learning from life. For example, if I believe the world is safe, my experiences will be very different from those of someone who thinks the world is dangerous. Given that beliefs rarely exist independent of one another, we each have systems of beliefs that can create problems when they don’t work together.

  Underlying beliefs affect the lower levels of change. Oftentimes changes at the lower levels—environment, behaviors and capabilities—won’t last if the beliefs that hold them in place are not addressed.

• Identity: this level is crucial because it determines who you are in the world and how you think of yourself in relation to others. For example, saying “I am a golfer” represents an identity—who you are—and is different from saying “I play golf,” which only refers to something you do.

  Your identity influences how you move through the world and what you do or don’t do. Saying “I’m not the kind of person who takes risks” means that your new learning experiences will be limited. Describing yourself as a “risk taker” has different implications and may result in dangerous behaviors that do not serve you well.

  What I understand when I’m working with people is that the identity you hold may need to be adapted or shifted in order for a significant change to happen in your life. Identity has an impact on all the levels beneath it.

• Mission or Purpose: this speaks to, “What’s more important than me?” or “What’s larger than me?” Teachers often answer this by saying that they get to have an impact on children—that it’s the most important thing they can do. Mission is crucial. That’s why people struggle at a job that to them has no purpose. When people recover from illnesses that were supposedly terminal, it is often because of mission, or remission—acquiring a new sense of purpose. For many, having a connection with God or a higher power makes a difference, feeling a bond with something larger than themselves.

Change can happen at any one of these levels, but you need to recognize at what level the work is being done. For example, sometimes a reframe doesn’t quite sell because it’s at the wrong level.

It’s also essential to know at what level a problem exists. Coaches are often trained to work at the behavioral level, yet problems usually are not behavioral—or not just behavioral. There’s often an underlying belief at another, higher level that may prevent a change at this lower level from making a difference.

Understanding the relationships between and among all these levels can profoundly influence the way you work with people. Ultimately, you want to create alignment at all six levels. When everything is aligned for a client, their actions will be more effective and precise, they won’t waste energy, and they’ll have more success.

Are your values, identity and mission congruent with your goals? Do you have a client who needs to make a change at one of these levels to support his or her goals?

P.S. Do you want to reprint this article? Please do. Just be sure that it remains intact and includes the following bio.

About Terry: Terry Hickey, M.S., is a Certified NLP Professional Coach, Business Trainer and Consultant, a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming and the co-owner of NLP Advantage Group. Originator of the Belief Breakthrough Method™, Terry specializes in teaching coaches and entrepreneurs how to rapidly resolve limiting beliefs about wealth and success. His tips and strategies can help you launch yourself into the future you want… NOW. http://terryhickey.com/