The best and most beautiful things must be felt with the heart...

Dancing Dreams

2013-06-29T22:37:00.000-05:00

Ok, I'll admit it, I wanted to be a ballerina. Pointe shoes, tutus, the stage, lights and a live orchestra playing classical music were all part of that dream. God had other plans and though I still danced, it wasn't as a classical ballerina. Fast forward 20 + years. Somehow I am in a room filled with dancers and parents sitting on the edge of my seat listening to the sound of Russian words being spoken and a translator introducing the distinguished members of The Bolshoi Academy from Moscow Russia. Chills went up my spine as the magnitude of the moment settled over me. My hand reached back to grasp that of my almost 15 year old Russian born daughter, somehow hoping this wasn't a dream. I felt her strong fingers squeeze back and I knew this is the destiny God has placed before her. As I listened to the instructor speak of what an amazing opportunity this would be for the dancers and how she wished them much success and a beautiful life, my mind couldn't help wander back almost 14 years ago to other Russian women speaking the same words. I wish for you to be happy and loved, have success, but these Russian women spoke a few other words, I wish you health and never to be hungry again. Up until adoption our sweet girl had never known the comfort of a full belly, the love of a family and the reality of a body made whole. According to the system, she was defective because she had been born with a cleft lip and palate, a life that was not worthy of dreams. If she had remained in her native country she would have been institutionalized at the age of 4, the doors of life, hope and dreams slammed shut and the reality of no loving contact, education or medical care a reality.

Here we sit, in a place of promise, prominence and purpose. The opportunity to dance with the best and brightest from all over the world for six weeks, have world renown teachers, to shine the love of Jesus. No, the magnitude of this moment is not lost on me. Tears well up in my eyes. Redemption is visible. The God who had a plan of hope and a future is here.

New Update

2013-06-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

It's been a while...I'm working on some updates!

Plan B

2012-04-29T21:16:00.000-05:00

I have a colorful tile on my kitchen wall that says,

"Life is all about how you handle Plan B"
I've learned sometimes it is Plan C, D, E...

We make our plans, checklists, our timeline, our agenda, and God steps in. He's been doing that a lot with me. I'm learning to take a step back. One by one to unclench the tight hold my fingers have on my plan and let Him take over. Over the last few months there have been days and weeks where the pain was unbearable, the doubts and questions swirled. I second, and third, guessed God and tried to take back my plan. Through those dark days and weeks two very special, precious friends spoke truth to me. Truth that was painful, hard to hear, but needed to be heard. Thank you sweet ones for having the courage to speak that truth!

A little over two weeks ago, Chuck and I sat with our children and shared some words that had the ability to break their tender hearts. Words that were not part of our plan... Moges is going to stay with another family.

We watched in horror as their hearts were shattered. The pain was deep and raw and the emotions poured out of them. Some cried, others sat in silence. Before the night was over we had all sobbed, held each other, prayed and wiped tears. The questions began and were answered as best as we were able. While much of what we said and shared during that time is very deeply personal, what I can say is God has a plan. It is different than how we imagined it. We have seen His plan take shape and unfold over the last few weeks, step by step. We are learning, growing and healing together. Moges is happy, settled and doing so well outside of our home. Some of the lessons are very painful, feelings of guilt and inadequacy, the sadness of missing one whom you have shared your home and heart...realizing you are part of the journey, but not the whole.

There will be questions, some answers we may not have, or be ready to share. The pain is fresh, the wound still raw. Our eyes are focused on the goal of healing, fulfilling our part of the plan and learning to unclench our fingers and let go. We all appreciate your prayers and encouragement as we continue to walk the path He has set before us, one step at a time.

A day late and a dollar short...

2011-10-27T11:24:00.000-05:00

Don't you love sayings. My grandmother had the craziest ones. One of her favorites was, "All this and heaven too." Or how about, "Close only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades." One saying I have come to dislike is the one that people like to utter as they pat you on the back during those difficult moments. It's always spoken in softer tones but rings loud and clear in my ears, "God doesn't give you more than you can handle." Just writing it brings anger to my heart. It makes me feel inadequate and less than. Thankfully, after about the hundredth person spoke that to me and I bit my tongue so hard I tasted blood, God spoke truth to me through a very special book called Kisses from Katie.

So here it is, God DOES give us more than we can handle! Seriously, He does! Why, you ask. Because if he didn't we could handle it and wouldn't need him, plain and simple. Oh how that one truth resonated with my heart. The last few months have provided way more than I could handle. Way more! Three of our beautiful children have had surgery. My sweet Nina had her 6th ear surgery in a little over 12 months, to remove a tumor in her mastoid bone and try to get her ears working correctly. We are struggling to make sense of all this precious girl has had to endure, take care of our other 4 kiddos, bond with our wild man who is on turbo speed all waking hours, and manage a household that includes multiple food allergies, numerous daily medications, weekly doctor visits and therapy appointments. Uh, that is way more than I can handle, but I am so thankful that He can! I love this passage from The Message translation,

Philippians 4:12-14
I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me-it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

So, yes I have way more than I can handle. I am thankful that I don't have more than He can handle! And yes, I am so grateful for those who walk alongside us in our troubles. Those who listen, pray, accept and love us in our daily struggles to raise up the blessings God has given us. A huge shout out to Katie Davis who wrote the book and shared her heart and her story. What a blessing to see how God has worked mightily in and through her.

More on that in a later post. Because God really spoke to me about some other things through that book. I'll leave you with some pictures of what we have been up to.

Butterfly Release Day

Nina's Birthday

Katya and Katie Davis

Heaven on Earth

Until next time,

Dabney

Ready or not...

2011-09-09T12:02:00.000-05:00

Changes, they are a coming! 12 years ago we were devastated that we would not be able to celebrate our precious girls first birthday. Our court date was moved and we missed it by 1 week. But oh we celebrated everything else! Her first french fries, first words after her cleft lip and palate surgery, first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas and her first half birthday and first steps. Katya is one celebrated child and here she is celebrating 13!

After the birthday celebration, it was time to celebrate the start of school. I have 4 at the same elementary school....

Moges LOVES school and is so happy to be big just like his brother and sisters and super happy his friend Nate is in his class!

Momma is glad to have a break to catch up on laundry, dishes and cooking for the crew.

My sweet Nina girl got a special treat for her hair,

and Ella got a little something too...

All in all, it was a crazy, fun, adventurous start to another school year. We have a 7th, 5th, 3rd, 2nd and Kindergartener this year.

Next blog post with surgery details and update for my Nina girl, coming soon.

Dabney

It started out terrible and ended beautifully...

2011-07-31T21:27:00.000-05:00

Isn't that what God specializes in, beauty for ashes! Oh this week had some ashes, those moments that come back to haunt us even when we've moved on. Just walking into the children's hospital does that for me. It rekindles all those terrible feelings of out of control fear and anxiety, moments of despair. Nina had an MRI this week and it gave us both good and bad news. The good, not a tumor like before, the bad, we won't know until they are able to get in there and get a good look. Lots of possibilities being thrown around, more doctor appointments scheduled, all the ashes coming back to revisit. But in the midst, beauty...

The joy of seeing best friends from Ethiopia reunite after five months.

Meeting the sweet precious friend I've spent so many hours on the phone with and prayed for. Seeing her family complete...

JOY

BEAUTY

For two boys and two families.

Isaiah 61

The Year of the LORD’s Favor

¹ The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
   because the LORD has anointed me
   to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
   to proclaim freedom for the captives
   and release from darkness for the prisoners,^[a]
² to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
   and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,
³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
   instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
   instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
   instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
   a planting of the LORD
   for the display of his splendor.

Until next time...

Dabney

The song running through my head...

2011-07-13T16:02:00.000-05:00

Some of the news we have received over the last 4 weeks has left me really questioning God. Not quite sure if it was just the sheer amount of things thrown our way or the fact that I'm worn down but it has left me very discouraged. We learned Moges has a 40% hearing loss in his left ear due to a very large hole in the ear drum requiring surgery. It's unclear whether the surgery will help the hearing but the hole has to be repaired because of the risk of infection. Ironically, it is one of the very same surgeries Nina has had on the very same ear! Yes, I am thankful Moges is here to get the surgery, but it still bums me out to do surgery with one more child!

Then Nina was diagnosed with yet another chronic condition, seriously! We are up to eight specialists in addition to our regular pediatrician, I can't keep up. Just to add to the overwhelming feelings, we were told about a questionable area in Nina's mastoid bone from her latest CT scan. Of course, the oncologist fears another tumor, and we will head back to the hospital in 2 weeks for a MRI to get a better look before they discuss treatment options.

So, on the way home from the oncology appointment I hear this song by Laura Story called Blessings. I think it speaks for itself...
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops?
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise?

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

And what if trials of this life
Are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us, when darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears?
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near?

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst
This world can’t satisfy?

And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise?

I'm not going to mention all the other big and little things over the last few weeks. It seems so many of our friends are dealing with major life struggles with marriage, family and the health of their children. Just continuing to pray for mercy for all...

In the midst of our struggles we've had plenty to keep us busy, including giving ourselves a haircut requiring a trip to the barber to get it "evened out",

repainting the bathroom in red fingernail polish, and enjoying icees and batting cages for the first time.

Gotta leave you smiling! Until next time,

Dabney

The mulligrubs...

2011-06-26T15:23:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure exactly what they are, but I've had them, for a couple weeks now. Just that feeling of being overwhelmed, overtired and grumpy! Problem is, I think they are catching. My kids have got them too. They've been fighting and picking with one another, irritating each other, tattling, griping and complaining. It's enough to make you want to scream, pull your hair out and lock your kids outside. I found myself so apathetic I watched, without intervention, as my two older girls engaged in what I will call a girl fight. The kind where they slap, kick, hit, pinch and pull hair. In a way I wanted to see who would prevail and in another way, I was just too tired to jump in and settle matters. Thankfully a push in the pool by brother seemed to cool things off a bit.

I was talking to another adoptive mom yesterday and we were lamenting the fact that we seemed to have prepared ourselves for adopting but not as much our children. We read the books, prepared the home, learned language, made arrangements and plans but somehow could not have predicted the transition or dynamic change in the family. It's tough folks! Each and every one of my kids has had major adjustment going on as they fight to find their place in the make-up of our family with one more child. It's different when that addition is older, doesn't speak your language, has trauma and abandonment issues and a past that did not include you.

Overall I think Moges is adjusting very well. He continues to experience so many new things everyday. Attending VBS was a major highlight, as was learning about licking the beaters when mom is making cakes and frosting!

He continues to love the pool and swimming with his precious swim teacher Miss Melissa! The boy knows no fear!! Check out his flip...

We had a big time celebrating Daddy on Father's Day! What a blessing it is to have such a Godly husband and father who loves his children and wife so well!

Last, but not least, we had the chance to meet the Duggar Family from the TLC show 19 kids and counting. My three girls were especially excited and loved seeing the family in person (Michelle Duggar was especially taken with Moges)...

and posing by the bus...

We've been busy, but have work to do to get rid of our Mulligrubs! Praying God continues to soften hearts, grant extra grace and mercy and give us lots of joy! As a mom I need lots of wisdom and insight into my children's hearts. They all seem to need different things from me right now and it's so hard to have patience and the ability to see through the behavior to the root of their worry, fear or anxiety. I'm thinking one way or another we are going to be tightly bound together as a family by the time this summer is over.

Until next time...
Dabney

15 Years...

2011-06-07T15:00:00.000-05:00

This is one of my favorite pics. It has been damaged over the years and the negative is long gone.
I think it expresses our joy and love!

2 States
4 Moves
5 Kids, from three continents
4 trips to Russia
2 trips to Ethiopia
3 Languages
3 kids with combined 20+ surgeries
1000's of diaper changes and feedings
1000's of baths, and bedtime prayers
Vacations, Holidays, Birthdays
Laughter shared, tears wiped
Doing life together...Priceless!

Happy 15 years to my one and only!! I am so thankful God brought you into my life. I can't imagine doing any of this without you. All my love...

This photo is from the night I met my hubby to be

This was a photo that was taken before a special event when we were dating

This was my birthday

Getting ready to walk down the aisle to my Prince

Justice and Mercy...

2011-06-06T14:39:00.001-05:00

These two concepts have been running through my mind over the last few weeks. As we are forging our way as a family of 7 the concept of justice has been very strongly developed and mercy is sorely lacking. This scripture verse has been running through my mind,

O people, the Lord has told you what is good,
      and this is what he requires of you:
   to do what is right, to love mercy,
      and to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

As a mom, I am really pondering how to walk this out with my children as we mesh together in our new family dynamic. It seems most of my children are extraordinarily good at justice, and very poor at mercy. They are quick to notice when a certain Ethiopian boy is doing wrong and slow to extend grace. My house has become a land of loud voices yelling no and very few softly spoken words, compassionate hugs and grace. How to teach my children to live in justice and mercy?

I found this great post here http://www.valuesparenting.com/monthly_value.php  I am hoping to implement some of the ideas over the next few weeks and I will let you know how it goes. I know I am going to have to work on living this out in front of my children!

So on to our favorite little Ethiopian...it's been a big week! First time at the pool as a family and let me just say this boy keeps us on our toes! He loves to run and jump in, but he can't swim. So, he sinks to the bottom comes up coughing and sputtering and does it again, and again and again. Working on swim lessons pronto! In the meantime, we got a plastic pool for the backyard : )

First time to catch a firefly. Unfortunately, Moges had just watched Curious George and saw the scene where George puts the fireflies in his mouth and they glow. Thankfully we caught him right before it went in the mouth.

We took Moges to his very first movie at the movie theater. Let's just say Moges loves panda's now and has been saying "Hi Yah" a lot.

Finally Moges got his turn to try gymnastics. I could hear his excited squeals across the gym! He loved every moment and is ready to go back every day.

Moges went to a fishing event with his siblings and Papa and Daddy. Unfortunately after they had spent several hours in the broiling sun the event organizers came around to tell them that they had forgotten to stock the pond. No wonder they couldn't catch any fish. Bummer we couldn't explain that to Moges!

Friday night we were able to go to a free hot air balloon event! It was a first for all of us to ride in a hot air balloon. I was amazed at how hot and how loud it was. Moges thought it was the coolest thing ever. He kept asking to go back in the big ball!

Our in-between times have been spent trying to stay cool at the library or playing dress up, games and reading books at home. We've really noticed Moges picking up a lot more English.

Until next time...
Dabney

A Dose of Reality....

2011-05-27T13:00:00.000-05:00

My deep thinking usually happens in the shower. Probably because it is the only time I am really truly alone! So, I was pondering some questions and comments that I have heard the last few weeks and I felt the need to share them with you in hopes that it would create a better understanding. Otherwise, it's simply therapeutic for me to write it all down, so here goes...

I'm going to list just a few of the comments we have gotten since bringing Moges home.

"Are you the babysitter?"
"Are they all yours?"
"Wow!"
"I could never do that!"
"Bless your heart."
"You must have an amazing amount of patience."
"You are such a good person."

As I was in the shower I was thinking through some of the comments. The ones that upset me the most are the ones that put me on a pedestal. Just for the record let me share a few things with you. I lose my temper and yell at my children. I am quick to judge before looking at the heart. Some days are so difficult I want to run away. I sometimes resent the time my husband is able to spend away from home having adult conversation and eating meals he didn't prepare nor has to clean up. I get tired, sad, lonely, depressed and discouraged. What keeps me going each day is that I know I am being obedient. God asked us to care for each of the children he has entrusted us with and we have been obedient. Sometimes the obedience came very childishly, with kicking and screaming and tears and questioning. Other times the obedience was easy and joyful. It also was not a one time decision. It is actually a daily, moment by moment decision. We have children who are beautiful, talented, compassionate, compliant. We also have children who have backgrounds filled with trauma and damage done to them in utero. Children who have experienced multiple medical procedures, brain damage, and loss that no child should ever have to deal with. I try to keep that in mind when I am dealing with difficult situations. But at times I have a quick to anger response. I am human.

So, I want to answer some of the comments. No I am not the babysitter. Right now we can not even find a babysitter who is willing to take on our 5 children! They are not all mine, they are first and foremost God's children. He has entrusted them to us and it is a very heavy and weighty responsibility. Yes, you can do it. Our obedience did not happen overnight. God first ask us to be obedient in small things. We were not always obedient and many times I think because of our disobedience we missed the blessing. Thankfully God is faithful to fulfill the good work that He began in us! I often think of the first time God really asked me to step out in faith. As a high schooler, I was at a Christian concert at Christmastime. I had just received my first Christmas bonus from my very first job. This music group had been presented with an opportunity to go to Russia and minister to the people there. How much I longed to go with them! God spoke to me and told me to give my bonus as an offering and he would provide for me. A few months later, I was given the opportunity to spend 3 months in the Baltic States and Russia and God provided every penny for me to make that trip. My life, my husbands life and the lives of our children were radically changed by that trip. If I had not been obedient we would have all missed a huge blessing.

So my question to you is this, what has God called you to do? Maybe it is adoption, being an advocate for someone who is unable to speak for themselves. It might be giving of your time, talent and resources to help others. I recently read this quote from a book by Ayaan Hirsi Ali a Somali refugee. She had been asked if she had a death wish for saying some of the things she said. Her response was this, "The answer is no:I would like to keep living. However, some things must be said, and there are times when silence becomes an accomplice to injustice."

These last few weeks with five children has been more difficult and challenging than I imagined. It has also been filled with more joy at seeing the face of a child experience so many firsts! So here are a few of the "firsts" from the last week. Praying for the strength to continue to be obedient and thankful for a God that loves us in spite of our childishness, temper tantrums and bad attitudes!

Thank you for allowing me to give a reality check! Until next time...

Dabney

One month...

2011-05-20T14:41:00.000-05:00

I can't believe today marks one month since Moges arrived here in the US. In some ways the time has flown by and in others it has creeped and crawled. Here are some more pictures of the homecoming...

In the last two weeks we have had two dance recitals...

And a Birthday! Happy Birthday to my sweet Evan.

Moges has been absolutely enamored by Katya dancing. He attended one of her dress rehearsals and kept telling us Katya konjo (which means beautiful). The next day after the rehearsal I had to take Katya and Ella to the dance store to buy new ballet shoes. I noticed Moges studying everything when we walked in and he had a tight grip on my hand. We sat down in the back and the store employee started bringing out shoes to try on. Moges looked at Katya and said, "Katya dance", then he looked at Ella and said, "Ella dance", then he pointed to himself and said, "Moges no dance". Then he thumped his chest proudly and said, "Baseball". From then on whenever any of the store employees would talk to Moges he would thump his chest again and yell BASEBALL! I really think the boy thought we had brought him to the dance store to outfit him in dance gear : )

So how are we doing one month in...Ok, so I have to tell you, 5 kids is a lot! I feel like we have jumped the hurdle into a large family. Where I thought it would be "just one more", it feels like 10. By the time all the babes are in bed I can barely hold my eyes open to have any type of coherent conversation. The language issue has been a much bigger deal than I anticipated. Not being able to communicate danger and why's and why not's, is also really hard. I also was not anticipating that Moges would be like a toddler that would have to be watched 24/7. Getting back in the groove of having one that requires constant supervision has been an adjustment.

I can testify a new that God's mercy is new every morning. I am usually glad I did not know what the day would hold when I wake up in the morning, because I probably would not get out of bed. Every day we experience Moges learning something new. From play-doh and bubbles, to the trampoline, automatic van doors, ice cream, slap bracelets, a bike, battery operated cars, windows that roll down, and sprinklers that spray water out of the ground, each new day is an adventure!

When Moges looks at me and says, Mommy I love you, it melts my heart. When he cries about one of his siblings throwing away food that they didn't eat, it breaks my heart. I know we may never know the pain that our little guy experienced in his life but pray God continues to turn sorrows into joy and morning into dancing.

Until next time...

Dabney

Seen and heard around here

2011-05-03T09:05:00.000-05:00

Today marks 11 days since Moges joined our family. Life will never be the same! We are louder, more diversified, and officially a family of 7. Someone commented to me this week, wow, you have five children. It really hit me. I DO have five children, WOW! How did this happen?? Here are some snippets of the last 11 days.

Mommy, Moges just ran out the front door!
Moges, imbi, IMBI!! (imbi means no)
Mommy Moges won't stop flushing the toilet.
What is Moges saying? I don't know, just smile and say ok.
Woosha caca, woosha caca, WOOSHA CACA!!! It means dog pooped and was yelled through the house by Moges.
While watching the Air Buddies movie in the car I hear hysterical laughing from Moges. He points and says woosha chamas (dog has shoes).
At the top of the slide a yell of HALLELUJAH!

Here are a couple of pictures of "firsts".

The Barbie Jeep has a new fan!

There's another horse lover in the family. Nina is so proud!

and here is our BIG CHEESE!

Please continue to keep our family in your prayers. This is a major adjustment for everyone and some are handling it better than others. Just need lots of God's grace and mercy.

Dabney

Homecoming

2011-04-26T10:00:00.000-05:00

Special thanks to a precious friend who came out very late Friday night to photograph our homecoming. We are adjusting and learning and growing...God has been so faithful to supply new mercies every morning.

Welcome Home Moges!!

Introducing...

2011-04-19T09:35:00.000-05:00

Moges Charles Klein

As promised, I can now show pictures of our boy. Chuck had the visa interview at the Embassy today and should be receiving the visa on Wednesday. Chuck, Katya and Moges are scheduled to leave Ethiopia on Thursday and arrive in the US on Friday. Please continue to pray for them during this time of transition and bonding.

Here is the video Katya put together of the first visit with Moges. You can view it at the link below

http://youtu.be/45Jna1pwt54

Dabney

The Adventure continues

2011-04-16T08:20:00.000-05:00

On Tuesday of this past week we said good-bye to our world travelers as they set off on their second great adventure. It had been such a stressful week leading up to the trip. We had a leak in our garage, a storm took off part of the side of our house, and then there was the impending government shutdown. We could hardly believe we had come this far and politicians arguing over the budget was going to keep us from bringing our boy home. Earlier that week confirmation had come from the Embassy in Ethiopia that they would indeed be closed if the government shut down. That meant no visa for "M". We prayed, and waited, and watched the news and prayed some more. Finally, at the final hour news spread that the shutdown was averted. Tears of joy!!

The next few days were spent franticly packing and readying my two loves to make their long journey.

Saying good-bye was so hard this time. It was going to be the longest we had ever been away from each other. Nina had been very sick, with what we later learned was a blood serum reaction to a medication. We hugged and kissed and prayed, and off they went. This journey included a stop over in Amsterdam and a tour of the Anne Frank house. Katya excitedly reported she was able to see the actual pages from the Diary of Anne Frank and the secret hiding place. On Thursday I got word that they had arrived safely in Ethiopia.

Friday Katya and Chuck were able to go visit our boy. Chuck called after the visit to tell me how it went. His first words to me were, "Dabney, he is just so sweet!" Chuck recounted how when he and Katya walked in the room "M" glanced up then looked away. Then the realization that they were really there dawned on him and he jumped up to give hugs and kisses. Chuck said he carried his photo book with him all over the care center and pointed to the picture then to Chuck and Katya as if to say, look they are really here! "M" knew everyone's name in his new family and eagerly pointed out their photo's and names. He is very excited to go on the airplane to America. Hopefully that sentiment continues!

All too soon it was time to say good-bye. Chuck told me "M" got very quiet. They explained that they would return in two days and he would be with them forever. This morning Chuck and Katya woke up bright and early to head on their 6 hour journey south to meet the birth parent and see where "M" is from. "M" stayed in Addis at the care center and they will take custody of him tomorrow when they return. Monday morning is Embassy! Please pray that everything goes smoothly and they have no problems obtaining the visa.

Please keep them all in your prayers. I know this is such a crazy time of physical exhaustion and emotional upheaval. Pray for "M" and his transition and for peace for the birth parent. We are so thankful for all of the love and support from our precious friends and family.

Here's a little teaser...On Monday I can post pictures and video, so be sure to check back!

All our love,

Dabney

The Great Adventure

2011-04-01T09:16:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, I sat at the computer with my 12 year old hanging over my shoulder, and typed out a post about fundraising for airplane tickets. You see, a few days ago we had just received travel dates and my sweet precious girl was whispering prayers with every breath to be able to return to Ethiopia to bring her brother home. She and I were staring at the computer screen figuring out prices of tickets and wondering how we could make it work. Her prayer was that God would provide a way for her to go if He wanted her to. She knew He could do it.

I am here, 3 days later to tell you that He did it! I know many of you read Katya's blog posts from her first trip to Ethiopia a little over a month ago. It's been amazing to see how God has moved her heart. How she has witnessed redemption both in her own story of adoption and watching it first hand with her brother. Oh how she adores that boy! I can't wait to show you the pictures of the two of them together, smiles beaming from both of their faces!

Here's what God did. He miraculously provided three frequent flier tickets for the trip to Ethiopia! Do you know how difficult it is to get international frequent flier tickets??? We got three!!! Not only that, but God in the way that He loves to lavish love on His children, provided a way for Katya to have an overnight stay in Amsterdam (with free hotel) and tour the Anne Frank house, a lifetime dream of hers. I am just in awe.

Almost a week ago I sat at the dinner table with my husband. It was date night and we finally had a few minutes of peace to talk. Tears began to stream down my face as I told him how scared I was, how I felt like a failure as a wife and mother. How would I have enough to love and parent another child. At this point the gentle tears had turned into a messy bunch and the kleenex couldn't keep up. The waiter had made himself scarce and people were starting to stare. My husband reached across the table and grabbed my hand and told me when we got married I told him our life would never be boring. That I need to look at this as an adventure. We remembered together the ways God has walked us through unbelievable heartache and pain and we need to trust that He can give us what we need to do this again. Oh but to enjoy boring, and wallow in self-pity, sometimes it just needs to come out. Yesterday at lunch I opened my fortune cookie to reveal this...

You have to love God's sense of humor! So in the midst of our great adventure planning, will you continue to lift up our family in prayer. We need strength and wisdom for the journey, stamina and lots of extra grace. The weeks and months ahead will be challenging and I know all of us will be pushed past what we think out limits are.

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20

We are so thankful for the love, support and prayers!

Dabney

Help bring "M" home...

2011-03-28T08:57:00.000-05:00

We are doing one final big push to sell our awesome 147 Million Orphan gear to help raise funds needed to buy plane tickets to get our boy home! Will you help us?? Click on the link above this post that says 147 Million Orphan Gear and look through the selection. We have something for everyone, kids, teens, moms, dads, friends, you name it! Remember your purchase not only helps our adoption fund, it helps orphans all over the world have food and provision through this amazing organization.

As a bonus...anyone who makes a purchase this week will be entered in a drawing to win a beautiful handmade Uganda magazine bead necklace! These necklaces are each unique and beautiful. They go with everything and make a great gift too. Just think, Easter and Mother's Day are right around the corner.

We can't wait to hug our sweet boy...

Help us bring him HOME....

Much love,

Dabney

A vacation surprise...

2011-03-24T16:43:00.000-05:00

If truth be told, the last few weeks have been hard. The waiting seems to have really gotten to us. The kids can't understand the process of adoption and all the starts and stops. The news out of Ethiopia has been at times so disheartening, wondering if we really are going to be able to get our boy out. My old fears and traumas have come back to haunt me during this time and I've been swinging from sheer panic, to trying to let it go. Lots of time has been spent on my knees praying for peace.

Spring break has been looming and I prayed God would give us the opportunity to spend some time as a family in our very favorite spot, the beach! I e-mailed our agency late last week and said we were going on vacation, if they needed us to call. In the several months we have been working on the adoption, the agency has only needed to call once before. Our case worker indicated there was no new news in our case. So we loaded the van and hit the road.

Ahh...the bliss of the beach, with a few hiccups with the place we were staying thrown in for good measure. Thankfully it was all worked out and my momentary tears at the craziness of packing and unpacking 2 times before settled, were wiped away by sunshine, warm breezes and the sound of waves crashing.

Before we left town we had heard about some more delays with the Embassy process and disappointment other friends were facing. So, when my phone rang on Tuesday and I didn't get it in time and listened to the voicemail, I was not prepared to hear these words...your case has been submitted to the Embassy. Shock. I was not expecting this! I had to search for Chuck to tell him the news. Then we called Katya over. Tears shone in her eyes as we told her. Oh, my sweet girl wants to go back to Ethiopia so much! After the initial shock the details indicated it could be several weeks before our case was cleared.

More beach, family, game time. Today, Thursday, my phone rings again as we were taking a walk. I glance down and it is the adoption agency. Oh no! There's a problem? Nope. Our case was cleared. We could be leaving in a couple of weeks to bring "M" home?!? Wow!! No words...

We should hear details regarding travel dates the beginning of next week. Not sure I'm answering the phone the rest of the time we are here. Not sure my heart can take the shock! Our prayers continue for all those still waiting along the adoption journey. Please pray that God will make a way for these families and children. Also, my sweet Katya wants to go to Ethiopia to help bring home her brother. Will you pray with me that God will provide the funds to allow her to go.

With a full heart and sandy toes...

Dabney

So ready to see a smiley face...

2011-03-07T09:34:00.000-06:00

wearing this!!

Our pastor taught on a passage of Scripture yesterday from Matthew. With all the uncertainty regarding the state of adoptions in Ethiopia this week I found the passage to be very timely.

Matthew 6:30
And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

verse 33-34
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

Praying that our sweet little "M" will be wearing his TN sweatshirt soon and be on his way home! Trusting God to take care of him as we wait...

Dabney

Trip- Day 5

2011-03-02T11:02:00.000-06:00

My DAY FIVE-

I woke up that lovely morning and sighed as I remembered this was my last day here. Only a few more hours and I would be at the airport. I was going to make the best of what we had planned that day. My dad and I got ready for the amazingly emotional birth-parent meeting and court. We had everything ready to go and we went downstairs to eat some breakfast. We had a large breakfast of giant eggs, huge bananas, rice and sweetened hot tea. All the other families were ready too, eating and chatting trying to get rid of our nervousness. As we rode by all the buildings to get to the Holt office, we took pictures around town and tried to know each other a little bit better.

I think everyone was just as nervous as we were. We all arrived, and went inside for our preparation for court. Dad said it was going to be a lot easier than Russia’s court. I felt so blessed because only eleven years ago, MY Mom and Dad were in court trying to get me to come home. I was very excited to be here, not only to see my little brother but also to experience Ethiopia. You see, all the people told me that I was not allowed to go into court. I was expecting that… Although I was praying hard that I would be able to go in, I never thought it would happen. We climbed up stairs to reach our room for the court preparation. Since Addis is at a very high elevation, the stairs made me out of breath, and I actually was going pretty slowly. We made it up the stairs, and went inside of the tiny room. They handed us a big binder of our children and we got our boy’s. We were told what questions the judge would ask, and how to dress. Then, they told us we would need our passport so the judge can check it. I really hoped that Dad had it, but apparently he did not… We had to rush all the way back to the Guest House and franticly try to hurry back to the court. We made it there and sat in a very crowded room trying to not be nervous. My dad was called to go in, and the person who told us about court said I could GO IN! I was so happy, and I tried to get all of my things and go inside. There were about 8 chairs in the room with a big chair for the judge. We sat in the chairs in front of the judge and she asked several questions. The judge was dressed casually and she was pretty young. She spoke to us softly in English, barely glancing at us. Court lasted several minutes, and then the judge said ‘M’ is ours! I was about to squeal, but thankfully I did not. We walked out and I was smiling like a nut-ball. I was overjoyed. Apparently, some people did not get the words ‘ Child is yours’ so they were kind of worried. We went back to the Guest House and ate a lunch of chicken and noodles. It was very good!

After that, the Guest House said they were going to give us a coffee ceremony celebrating all of the court approvals! It was the first time I had ever had coffee, and I really enjoyed it! It was so cool to watch them roast the coffee beans in front of us then make the coffee. The day went on and suddenly the moment came when we had to go to the birth-parent meeting. We drove over to the Holt office to speak to our children’s mothers and fathers. We were asked to wait in a small room, and we were all pacing and waiting to see our child’s birthparents, nervously watching families go in one by one. We arrived to our room to talk, and it felt like everyone in the room could hear my heart beating. After about 5 or so minutes, a lady came in and told us that our birthparent was not coming. I was shocked and a little relieved at the same time. Shocked because I we would not get to meet this trip, and relieved because I would not have to be nervous. We were then told we could go see our little boy again before we left that night. We came to see him again and his face lit up when he saw us. We played and we were able to see all the things he loved to do. I knew I would never get over seeing his happy face.

All the other kids were so happy, all the time. They loved to play soccer, and they loved the punch balloons and stickers, and also the bubble wrap! A little girl would not stop playing with it. I showed her how to do it really fast, and she thought it was really cool. All the boys kept trying to get M’s cars, but he kept stuffing them into his pockets. I was so happy seeing all the kids look at such simple things. It made me feel very selfish, wanting things that all the kids would never dream of. I knew that M would probably be overwhelmed looking at all the high-tech things, such as our Wii, computer, and iPhones. I knew he would love our family, especially because our cul-de-sac is filled with kids all ages, playing together happily and nicely. I was really sad to leave “M” but happy to know we would see him again, hopefully soon, and be able to bring him home!

After we left, we came home ready to email my mother and try to pack to leave Africa. We emailed her and I was able to send all my other siblings emails about things they wanted to know. I could not send them pictures because I forgot the plug for computers from my camera. We ate our last meal and went upstairs and packed our things and tried to rest. I told my dad I would just read because I was not tired, but I ended up falling asleep and ‘snoring’ my dad said. (Yeah,right!) I woke up and I tried to get ready to leave as quickly as possible. We came downstairs and said our goodbyes, trying to not be too sad. I although, was very sad. All the people were so nice here. We were driven to the airport, and I was looking at all of the things I had seen, the restaurants, the smallest houses compared to ours, and all the smiling faces of the very poor people that all acted so happy and joyful. I closed my eyes and rolled down my window, feeling the cool African wind blow through my hair. It was very dark that night, so not many people were outside. We arrived at the airport, and checked in.

A little while later we were boarded the airplane and were ready to see America again. It took a really long time to come back home, because we were traveling against the jet stream.

We arrived and I was soooo happy to be home again! Not only was it weird to be home when I just saw “M”a few hours ago, but it was amazing because God ACTUALLY let me go on that amazing trip!

Day 3 & 4

2011-02-23T20:59:00.000-06:00

My DAY THREE-

After I woke up, we were flying over the beautiful continent of Africa. It was very lovely, because the sun was rising. I saw pyramids in the distance, but it was kind of hard to see because there was a person sleeping on the window seat. I was so happy when we landed. We got off of the plane and I was praying and thanking God almost the whole time we were walking. My dad and I looked for the person that was supposed to pick us up, but they were not there. A lady saw that we were looking for someone and that we looked lost, so she offered for us to use her cell phone. My dad called Holt and they scheduled to pick us up right away. We waited and saw a person with a sign that said Holt, so we went to him and rode to the Guest House. As we rode along, I saw things that made me rethink all the things I am thankful for. The houses were usually wood with a blue tarp over the top and aluminum covering all sides.

When we arrived, the people there did not even know we were coming, so they had to scramble and try to get us to a room as soon as possible. We went inside of our room and pretty much collapsed and fell asleep. I was awakened by kids outside singing, and I said, “Daddy, wake up! Listen! There are a bunch of kids singing outside!” They were behind a tree, so I could not see them. I recorded it, though. There was a rooster crowing almost every 5 seconds, but I really did not mind it! I can get super annoyed really quick, so it was kind of like God wanted me to listen to it! We were served our food in our room and I honestly was not that hungry. I ordered spaghetti, and it was a mountain! We ate a little bit and then went downstairs to email my Mom. The internet was okay, but it went off and on. Two other families from a different adoption agency were there with their adopted kids. They were very cute. I played with them and tried to fix the internet… After we played with the families and chatted with them, we had supper and went to bed. I slept so-so, because I was very homesick…

My DAY FOUR-

I got to go sightseeing when I woke up that morning and I got to see a lot of museums and sights.

I learned about the kings and queens and I saw one of the first Bibles in their language! We got to go shopping for my siblings and friends although I saw a lot of beggars. It broke my heart to see kids my age trying to beg for food and money. I closed my eyes and prayed that they would soon be okay… After we left and were happy with the treasures we had, I started to feel how Ethiopia is supposed to feel. I closed my eyes and let the wind blow through my face, closing the window every few moments to not smell the exhaust. The taxis sped past us, and I watch as kids younger than me just walked on the road like it was a sidewalk… They were in the middle of two lanes on the interstate and laughing happily. Everyone is so happy here with nothing, and I realized that our country is spoiled and can be very rude. All the men on our tour let us go in front of them, and they were nice even though we could not understand a word we were saying. As we drove back to the Guest House I knew that I might never have this chance again to come here, so I need to make the best of it… We arrived at the house and got ready to see our soon-to-be little boy. A woman from Holt came to pick us up and gave us some pointers on how to act around him and the other children there. We finally arrived, and I was nervous, for many reasons. What if he didn’t like me? What if he was scared of me? I walked in to the small room. All that was sitting in there was a television, two chairs, a table, and him. I smiled and tried to hug him, but I think he just wanted to check us out first. We sat down with him, my father and I, and a lady from Holt who was going to translate. I pulled out the backpack and showed him the pictures of us. He could recognize my dad and I, and I thought that was going to be good, because every time I said one of our names, he could repeat what I said… Like if I said “Isn’t that cool?” He would say it right back to me! It was honestly very cute! We played with him and saw his bed and watched him eat an orange. (He would not let it have one tiny piece of fruit left on it!)

After we said goodbye, my dad and I were talking about how adorable he was. We came ‘home’ and went to email and try to call my mom. I saw all the other families from Durame who had just gotten there, and we had introductions and lots of stories. We all had a fun time together, typing on the computer to our loved ones, sitting in the room chatting, and also printing out our pictures. We were all getting ready for our birth-parent meeting the next day. I was nervous, but what I did not know is that I would never have to be nervous.

Guest blogger Trip Day 1 & 2

2011-02-21T16:22:00.000-06:00

I invited Katya to be a guest blogger and tell you all about her trip to Ethiopia. Here she is in her own words. I hope you enjoy! She says to leave her comments and let her know what you think : )

My Mother wanted me to write on her blog, and I was very happy to do so. Because I was adopted, I wanted to go to Ethiopia and see what it was like to adopt, and how hard the journey was. I prayed and asked God to show me what to do, and I just felt like I needed to go, with my boot walker (I injured my ankle right before the trip) and all of me. Ever since I turned twelve, I have gotten deeper into listening to God. It feels so, natural! Hopefully you will be touched while I am telling you my story. I know my family was! I am writing this in MY perspective, so here goes:

My DAY ONE-

Arrival at the airport was very nerve-wracking, because I just KNEW Mom was totally going to break down in tears. When we checked in our donation bag, (and us) we were off to go thru security! Mommy started to cry, which made me cry too! (I tried not to show it) Mommy held my hands tightly before I left and looked me straight into the eyes and said, “Katya, if you miss me, just hold you necklace I gave you and you will know I am praying for you.” I ALWAYS did that when I felt homesick, because I knew she probably was not going to be sleeping. We took a picture of us leaving...

and I was holding Dad’s hand as I walked into the line. After I was about to go thru the gates, I turned around and my mother held up three fingers- I love you. I IMMEDIATELY smiled and shot up four fingers-I love you too!!! As I walked in the security, I felt like I could run back to Mom and never leave home again. But I made my decision, and that was to go to Africa and bring my brother into our family. I was totally stressed out going through the giant thing that scans you with my boot walker, but it did not go off. My dad and I walked by all the restaurants and stores and made a few stops for books and stuff. We arrived at our gate, and I wrote in my journal, and found a note from Mommy. It made me miss her a lot, even though she was only about 30 minutes away from home. We got on our flight to Chicago, which felt like a while, so that made me nervous about the 9-hour flight. This flight was going to be nothing compared to the London one!! We actually did not get our seat numbers, because the lady got the wrong slip with our seats. The flight attendant was nice about it though, and I did not realize that that was just the beginning of our troubles… We made it to Chicago and called Mom. She said she missed us a lot, and I thought to myself there is no turning back now, and I will have to keep going forward. After we boarded the REALLY nice airplane, I looked through the magazine in the seat pocket in front of me, and I saw how this guy was sleeping- on his tray in front of him with A LOT of pillows. I thought I would try that and it actually worked pretty well! I fell into a deep sleep. Then I woke up and did not know that we were still on the ground in Chicago. Then, we finally left and I fell asleep, AGAIN!

My DAY TWO-

When I woke up, we were ALMOST in London, and I was actually REALLY tired still… But we were served a croissant, which made me sort of sick to my stomach. I think it was stale… When we arrived my dad and I both went in to the restroom one at a time to freshen up, and I did not realize it was like, four o’ clock in the afternoon in London. We grabbed our bags and went downstairs, to the customs/passport thing. We had to fill out a sheet and show our passport to a person. We got through and we decided to go out. I thought London was okay, it just looked like old-fashioned New York, but we did not get to see a lot of cool stuff, like Big Ben or Buckingham Palace.

My dad decided that we needed to go back a few hours early and I tried to convince him that we can stay for a few more minutes, and I guess it is a good thing we didn’t because we were never aware of what we were about to experience, that it would make us not want to go back to the London Heathrow airport ever again. After that, we were going to check in, so we got our bags and went off. We arrived there and the people were not there yet. We wandered, and came back, and waited in a long line. The person told us that American and Ethiopian were not ‘partnered’ or something like that. We walked over to an agent and he was really a jerk. He told us that we would have to go back to terminal one, which was a while away from terminal three! He said if we were not back in an hour he would shut the doors "we will NOT wait for you". So, with my boot walker on, we had to run ALL the way over to terminal one, with the clock ticking. The whole time I was praying to God that whatever happens, it is for a purpose. We made it to Terminal 1, and told a lady and she fixed it really quick. We made it back over and tried to check in again. The person said since we do not have our receipt for our donation bag, we could not get it thorough to Africa. We ran over to security. The nicest security I now have ever been through was at London Heathrow airport. They told me I did not have to take off my boot walker, and they were really nice about my Epipen too. (I have a SEVERE allergy to sesame seeds) We got through the security and went to our gate. We waited in a line, and finally were getting ready to check in our airplane. The person told us that our bags were too heavy, but this one guy walked on by with a GIANT bag almost as big as me! (I am 5.2”) They were not being nice to us! So we had to un-load all our belongings and put them in dad’s bag…. After we did that, we were ready to check in on the airplane and you will never believe who was there! That jerk that made us go to terminal ONE! I wanted to say something, but I kept my mouth shut… We went inside our gate and sat down. I asked Dad why we had so much trouble here. He said that it is Satan trying to not let us get M! I had to agree. But right now I was rejoicing because God let us come here and this far. He could have just made us go back home. But, as the Bible says, everything God does is for good. I knew I had to trust that. We finally boarded Ethiopian Airlines and got into our seats. I met a lady who was going to Africa for her first time too! She said she was helping an endangered wolf. It was funny because she said she and her partner were the only ones who were British and all the other members were African! She fell asleep right away and thankfully I did also. The bad thing is that they kept waking us up for food or drinks or something like that…

Great 147 exclusive tees!!

2011-01-26T11:03:00.002-06:00

We are trying to raise the additional funds needed for plane tickets for our trip to bring "M" home!!!

We have been given the opportunity to sell 147 Million Orphan gear... (Purchasing any of these shirts will provide food, water, or medicine for a child in need 50% of the profits of this shirt will go to a child in Uganda, Ethiopia, Honduras, China, or Haiti.) $10 from the sale of each shirt goes directly to feeding and caring for orphans, the remainder goes towards adoption. Here are the shirts we are able to offer exclusively for sale.

To purchase a shirt, simply click on the link in the right hand corner that says "Donate" add the shirt or necklace, bracelet amount plus $5 shipping and include the shirt description and size (or necklace or bracelet)in your e-mail. If you live in the Nashville area I will be happy to arrange pick-up or drop off for you to avoid shipping costs.

Any questions?? E-mail me at chuckndabs@aol.com

Youth long sleeve Feed 1 shirts sizes S-M-L-XL $15

Toddler Short Sleeve Shirts sizes 2t -3t $15

Feed 1 Long Sleeve Toddler 2t-4t $15

Fancy Feed Baseball Cream Body Black Sleeve Sizes XS-S-M-L-XL $30

Back View

Ladies White Tee Sizes S-M-L-XL $20

Back View

Men's Brown T-shirt Sizes S-M-L-XL-XXL-XXXL $20

Back View

147 Million Orphans Cuff $10

Magazine Beads $25

We are proud to donate to Amazima Ministries and the wonderful women of the Karamojong tribe. The Karamojong women create these beautiful necklaces by hand and from re-cycled paper … Our goal is to help these women maintain sustainable income for their families … We will be purchasing these necklaces from them and also sending 50%+ of the profits back to a feeding program run by Katie Davis. It is a beautiful full circle story of the body of Christ.

Each item can be ordered and paid for via our paypal button. Just click on Donate. Please add $5 shipping to the cost of each item. If purchasing multiple items please e-mail me (chuckndabs@aol.com) and I can combine shipping. If you live locally in the Nashville area e-mail me and we can try to arrange pick-up to avoid shipping costs.

Pain and hope

2011-01-21T18:04:00.000-06:00

As we have progressed through this week my heart has been heavy with the news of so many of our friends, family and loved ones going through very painful events. From an accident and totaled car, to a sweet friend who lost her baby while she was 5 months pregnant. So...much...pain. On my knees before my Heavenly Father I have cried out on their behalf. For ones who have lost jobs and are facing losing their home, for broken relationships, broken hearts, and those who are crying out to God for healing and hope.

Our Nina has had another week of infections, pain and doctor's visits. In the midst of it all I am so thankful to have access to medical care. The doctor's are still puzzled as to what is causing all of these serious infections but are leaning towards an immune deficiency. I'm reminded of the words of Jesus, in John 12:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Or as the Message puts it, "I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world." So thankful that in the midst of our pain and difficulties that we can be unshakable and deeply at peace.

We heard from some sweet friends today in Ethiopia. They were delivering our package to "M". Please continue to pray for his heart to be opened to us and prepared for the journey he is about to embark on. I can not even begin to imagine all the changes he has experienced and will experience in the next few months.

Dabney