Women Bible Life

A snapshot of these days...

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Fri, 17 May 2013 14:11:00 +0000

I am spending almost no time writing, but much time thinking and doing. Some time reading. This is the third blog post for 2013!
We are counting the final couple of weeks until the birth of our fifth baby. We're trying to not wish the days away, but to make memories while we wait.
We're still glad to be home educating.
Due to my present round condition, our approach to home ed is very fluid and varied. A birth certainly makes for some excellent science though!
We are having a year of rest from leading and hosting a weekly home group.
We're enjoying the extra logistical and emotional space in the week.
We're thinking about the past years of home group/Gospel community experience we've had. Thinking about what has been helpful and trying to make sense of things which weren't.
We're enjoying getting to know some new people.
We're really enjoying be with friends who love Jesus, especially when we gather on Sunday nights. For most of the last seven years it's been hard work (helping little kids learn to be part of a church gathering, rather than sending them off to a kids program). Now it is a real joy on lots of levels. So very worth the effort.
We're appreciating having had two years to get to know our neighbourhood. It's fun to imagine what could happen here over time.
Our little library is still being quietly used. Strangers leave books to share. Our books disappear (and occasionally come back). A few people have left notes for us. And sometimes it is mistaken for a letter box.
I am learning to be more amazed at Jesus' world as I take time with the children to be curious about it. So much more the awe of Jesus from whom and for whom it all exists.
I want to slow down and pray more. I'm tired of multitasking.
I am surprised by the extremes held in each day. Joy and frustration, hard work and pleasure.
I'm appreciating that I can send the 8 year old to archery classes for 90mins and it only costs $7!
The television is not working and I am glad. DVDs get a good workout though.
The Kindle is the 8 year old's favourite device. I like that he can read without the distractions the ipad holds. He likes the convenience of the immediate purchase of the next book in the series.
The biggest kids are actually becoming quite competent and independent in tasks which help our household function. Mostly.
I need to learn how to deal with the chemistry of personalities among the children. Sometimes volcanic!
We love Grand Designs.
I read a paragraph of Calvin's Institutes every now and then. I am always glad when I do.
I am realising that the years are coming when we won't have small children around. That will be sad. I find their cuteness buoyant.
I am looking forward to the era when I can sit once again with Bible and pen and paper for hours. For now, I am grateful for the stolen, interrupted and shared paragraphs of truth and life and light.

The garden grows!

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 23:02:00 +0000

I have been moving quite slowly in recent months, but the garden has really gained pace. I thought I'd share something I enjoy watching each day. Actually, since I took these photos most plants have gained an extra half metre in height and breadth.

January 2013

It is truly grace that in this broken, decaying world, God still makes beautiful things grow. And it is grace that he allows us to share in the pleasure of cultivating something out of not much at all. For the "not much at all" pictures, see this old post.

growing some shade (and some fruit!)

For the Children's Sake

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Wed, 02 Jan 2013 19:00:00 +0000

This year my reading list has been quite mixed up. Some lovely junior fiction to keep ahead of my son; some lovely fiction for me and some lovely resources to help me help my children as we home educate. In the latter category is, "For the Children's Sake", by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay.

The first thing to say, is that it is not a book only for home educators/home schoolers, which keeps my heart rate in a more comfortable place. The second thing is that the book unpacks and applies the educational approach of Nineteenth century English educator, Charlotte Mason. The ideas are old ones.

This book has done me good. It has challenged me to look beyond the bare, socially acceptable minimum, to what is really good for my children. Primarily, what children need to learn and mature with a meaningful, relationally rich and deep education. This book is not at all prescriptive, but it gave me a head full of wonderful pictures of what a good childhood might be.

As I read I never felt patronised or disheartened or condemned. Schaeffer Macaulay writes with such courtesy and respect for the reader. She does write with a personal passion for what is really good. This is not a dry, emotionally detached essay. I know some people might find that she rambles, but I find her writing warm and friendly. After the early chapters the style becomes more concise.

While passionate, this book is realistic and not at all legalistic. There is a variety of life situations families find themselves in, which makes idealism very unhelpful. Schaeffer Macaulay encourages people to consider the actual good that is possible, rather than impossible ideals. She recognises that there are a lot of contexts within which good things for children can be achieved. The uniqueness of each situation means that the book is about principles which the author trusts the reader to work out in their own sphere.

With this diversity in view, Schaeffer Macaulay addresses not just parents, but all adults who have anything to do with children. She has nuggets of usefulness for all sorts of people. Even Sunday school teachers and Scripture teachers are addressed in this book, in helpful ways. This honours the fact that children are raised and educated in communities and a network of relationships.

There are several theological points at which I really wish Schaeffer Macaulay was tighter and more precise in how she expresses herself. Disconnected pieces of the gospel of Jesus and a Christian worldview are there, but I would never rely on the book to form a whole, biblical understanding of either. Nevertheless, her perspective on how children learn and how to relate richly with them is invaluable.

There are very few books I will read more than once, but this one will get another reading some time. Google and you will find it!

Still here, just expanding behind the scenes

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Wed, 26 Dec 2012 09:29:00 +0000

Blogging, among many other things, has halted in recent months. I have been extremely busy attempting to lay on the couch all day for months. I am just coming out of the early stages of growing our next baby.

This new person is due to arrive in June 2013, which is lovely. We'll see what God has in store.

I am finally feeling well enough to water the garden, eat vegetables and write a blog post. It is truly marvelous! Even still, I am not sure I will ever feel energetic again.

As for a blog post of great substance and thoughtfulness, that might have to come another day.

Kids in Colossians (3)

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Wed, 14 Nov 2012 09:47:00 +0000

I'm still reading Colossians with the kids over morning tea. I am a bit behind in documenting it though! I am enjoying just reading a verse or two with them and the children telling it back to me in their own words; us all asking our own questions of the verses and reading more for the answers. Several weeks ago, "hope" came up,

"We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven."

We asked, what is hope?

The five year old responded, "Is it when you really want your mum to take you on family holiday to South West Rocks tomorrow, but you know she probably won't?"

The conversation unfolded about how Christian hope is VERY different from that. Hope through Jesus is looking forward to what we are completely sure will happen. It is not wishful thinking. It is not a maybe/if anticipation.

Also, hope because of Jesus actually changes what we do now ("the love you have for all the saints*, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven."). *Saints meaning all people who belong to Jesus.

Giving in to motherhood

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sun, 04 Nov 2012 21:44:00 +0000

"I don't know how you do it!"
I'm sure everyone with more than two children hears that regularly. Four is not a large number of children, but at least where I live, it seems worthy of comment. Add home education to the mix and you have a lot of conversations where people's imaginations run wild with chaos and trembling.

Whatever "it" is, I'm not doing it. I just don't do much other than the activities directly connected with my children (have you noticed how little I write these days?). I've given up trying to fit other things in regularly. I write these thoughts for public reading because most mums need to be reminded to give in to motherhood and do less of other stuff at some point. I certainly need to be reminded often.

In giving in to motherhood, I'm learning that freedom does not equal child-free. When I stop resenting that "hemmed in" feeling and give in to caring for my children, I'm noticing it is much easier to serve happily. It is a painfully learned discipline which is being worked out over years.

Over time, parts of my routine that I thought I could never live without have been peeled away. A whole lot of things slide off the edge of life as I give in to the needs of these particular people and as there are more people in our family. Most days I feel completely beyond myself, but it is good. When I shift out of self preservation mode it is easier (but never easy!) to be spent.

As I give in, there are fewer tangible achievements to measure. I have little to show for my time (apart from mess). Not many things to pin my identity on. There is also the battle to make sure I am not trying to measure my own value and success by my children's development and performance. What a terrible, unfair burden to afflict children with. It's good to be aware of this dynamic.

In the painful process of learning and re-learning this, I am left with nothing and no one but Jesus to find identity, joy, freedom and strength. To gain him is worth more than everything which is being peeled away. Please keep reminding me, friends.

If you're not a mum, could you find a mum to help? Remind her that she need not burden herself with responsibilities God has not given her at the moment.

(And yes, I make the kids have a rest time every day because it is good for them and I need mine. They don't run the household. I still say no more than I say yes. I do get to go out on my own for the odd hour occasionally. We have wonderful helpful people around us. And I am glad and grateful to be doing what we're doing. I am learning to go easy on myself (which is part of the "giving in" - expecting less of myself in other areas). And I take a while to get out of bed in the morning, whenever I can possibly manage it.)

I do not have comments enabled on this blog at the moment, but you are welcome to email me, scw.mckay@gmail.com

Broken families & Jesus, my brother

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 23:45:00 +0000

I am trying to track down some of the cost felt in broken families. The breakage looks different as the years go by. Some people are marred by their own choices; others by the conditions inherited from others. We might be a victim in one relationship at one time, but a perpetrator in another. No one person can clearly see the vastness of the problems and pain. When core relationships are absent, fragile or unsafe, I find it hard to imagine that God would still welcome me.

The very person I have sinned against and failed most is Jesus. Jesus, the very exact imprint of God in humanity,

"the heir of all things, through whom also [God] created the world. He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power". (Hebrews 1:2-3)

Jesus, the maker and sustainer and heir of all things. There is no one in the world I have sinned against more, but how Jesus treats me is completely unmatched with how I have treated him.

" it was fitting that {God the Father], for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation [Jesus] perfect through suffering. For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying,
“I will tell of your name to my brothers in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise.”

...
Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery. For surely it is not angels that he helps, but he helps the offspring of Abraham. Therefore he had to be made like his brothers in every respect, so that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in the service of God, to make propitiation for the sins of the people. For because he himself has suffered when tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted."(Hebrews 2:10-18)*

Jesus is not ashamed to be my brother. And he is not ashamed to call me his.

The one person whose opinion actually matters; the one who holds heaven and hell and sets the end of all is not ashamed to be my brother and to call me his.

Jesus is not ashamed of me. How can this be?

Jesus stooped to be like me in every way but my sin. He stooped to die, tasting and absorbing and eternal death in my place. In dying, Jesus destroyed the power of death and my fearful slavery to it.

Now alive, having paid the complete price for me, Jesus rules over all and delights to have my in his family. He is not ashamed to call me brother. He is pleased to share his inheritance with me, elevating me infinitely beyond what any of his creatures deserve.

If you belong to Jesus, he has paid every debt and cleansed every defilement and clothed you in his own perfection, so that HE IS NOT ASHAMED to call you and treat you as his brother. He purchased you when you were his enemy, so that you would be adopted as his son and brought to glory (cf. Romans 5).

For the Christian, the one relationship that means life or death is secure. It is the only relationship in the world which cannot be undone by our poor performance, or anyone else's. Jesus has done everything necessary so that he will be unashamed of his blood purchased brothers forever. The only family which is ultimately safe to be in.

*We can't make sense of this bit of the Bible without reference to the chapters around it (Hebrews) and the Old Testament, so enjoy reading deeply.

Impoverished by giving?

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 05:10:00 +0000

I have been feeling some of the cost of home educating recently. There are relationships and opportunities I am not free to pursue. It is a classic case of being finite. Choosing to do one thing means choosing to not do something else. There are a few ugly feelings stirred by what I am not doing. Feelings of self pity, covetousness, jealousy, possessiveness, pride. Then there are other foul feelings about what I am doing. In self pity, it is easy to feel impoverished and like I have run out of fuel for serving my family or anyone else.

But I have got it all wrong. Joy grows when I think more about this,

"The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work." 2 Cor 9:6 ff

Paul was writing to a church about following through on their previous commitment to serve other Christians in a particular way. He was concerned that they would see their own strained situation and forget how God would provide what they need to do the good they had longed to do. This passage is not all about me and home education, but there are some things which transfer.

I'm challenged to:

follow through on personal convictions about where, how and who to serve
give and serve generously, without reluctance and without compulsion
give and serve cheerfully
lean on the God who provides abundantly so we can do abundant good, in everything all the time (in his own way and time!)
remember that generous sowing will grow to a joyful harvest (in God's own way and time!)

The chapters around these verses fills out the encouraging picture (2 Cor 8-9).

All this hinges on the fact that Jesus is the ultimate sower and giver. He completely emptied himself in the poverty of death and judgement in the place of sinners, so sinners like me would be made eternally, spiritually, satisfyingly rich in him (2 Cor 8:9). We're made rich in order to give (9:9-15).

I can't publish this without a post script.

Even as I feel the pinch of home education, I am grateful to see other things gained. There are some friendships which are flourishing. There are some new opportunities to serve people outside our family precisely because I am not in the rhythm of a school week. There are countless good things I can see (and plenty more I can't see) happening in and through the children. They are people who I like a lot.

I am still convinced that this is the wisest decision for our particular family in our particular situation with our particular children and our particular church and our particular neighbourhood, at the moment. God has provided and will continue to provide, in his own way and time.

I am thankful that others are in a position to serve where I can't. God has richly supplied them with grace to be able to give generously and serve cheerfully. They are sowing generously is different circumstances. If I am more concerned for Jesus' church to be built and God to be glorified, then it will be a joy for me to see God enabling other people to serve. Praise God for the diverse designs he has among his people!

Little library launched!

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 01:42:00 +0000

Our little library has been on the street and open for use for more than a week now. We finally have some people we don't know using it! It certainly is making passers-by grin and neignbours wave. We have a chalkboard out inviting everyone to borrow. We update the words each week to keep it fresh. The next step is to write to all the residents in the neighbourhood, explaining it in more detail and inviting them to use it.

As for the content, we have a range of picture books, some short story books, children's chapter books, some decent grown up fiction and biography, a book on reading aloud to children and a short book about Jesus.

It also seems weather proof, which is a relief. And no graffit or theft yet.

Kids in Colossians (2)

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Mon, 17 Sep 2012 01:10:00 +0000

We've started reading Colossians for morning tea and Bible time. The next little bit of Colossians 1:1-2 is,

"May God our Father give you grace and peace."

We read it and asked:

What is grace?

Favour God gives that we don't deserve.

What other pictures of God's grace we have seen in other parts of the Bible (especially Gen 1-12, which we have recently read)?

Other conversations which spring from this verse:

How is God our Father?
What is the peace that God gives?

All these good things come to those who belong to Jesus Christ (see first part of verse 2). God is Father to those who belong to Jesus. God's grace is toward those who belong to Jesus. God gives peace to people through Jesus Christ.

Kids in Colossians (1)

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 01:13:00 +0000

I thought it might be nice to document the general shape of our Colossians reading experience. I haven't planned out what we'll do, we're just taking small bites and seeing what happens. We're reading the New International Reader's Version.

We started with 1:1-2,

"I, Paul, am writing this letter. I am an apostle of Christ Jesus just as God planned. Our brother Timothy joins me in writing.
We are sending this letter to you, our brothers and sisters in Colosse. You belong to Christ. You are holy and faithful.
May God our Father give you grace and peace."

I ask them to tell me what we just read.
We talk about who wrote it ("not Abraham") and what we know about Paul ("who used to be Saul").
We draw a timeline in the air to show that lots of years and people happened in between Abraham (their point of reference) and Paul. We talk about this letter being written after Jesus died and rose again.
We talk about how this wasn't a story, but a letter and what's different about a story and a letter.
We talk about who Paul was writing to...

the brothers and sisters in Colossae

We talk about how they were "brothers and sisters" because they all "belong to Christ".
We talked about some of the people who are our brothers and sisters.

It was very fitting that some grown up friends from our home group were with us for this. Denise and Ruth are our sisters because they belong to Jesus too. Scripture shows us that other Christians are family, not merely people who we accidentally see in a particular building once a week.

Colossians with kids

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Tue, 04 Sep 2012 12:52:00 +0000

For years now, I've had a morning tea and Bible time tradition with my children. It's very basic. We've recently finished Genesis 1-12 which has helped us think and talk about God, humanity and the world. A lot of ethical questions came up, especially about the value of all human beings (there's another post in that!). It is wonderful to be taking the kids through the narrative and to see their whole world view taking shape.

Now we are reading Colossians. I chose it because:

I have been reading Colossians on my own and been amazed all over again.
Colossians takes us back to Creation and tells us where Jesus fits in, so it is an essential sequel to Genesis.
I want to think more deeply on a single book of the Bible. To talk about something simply, we need to understand that thing really well.
I really want the children to see how excellent Jesus is and the way he changes people.

I am aware that our kids often hear the bits of the Bible which come in story form (narrative), but often miss out on the other large parts of the Bible which are not written in a story. We'll take it in small steps and see how we go.

Losing or gaining when Jesus appears

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sat, 18 Aug 2012 03:01:00 +0000

When Jesus appears, will you be saying goodbye to everything you love and long for? Or will you gaining what you want most? It's what I've been asking myself.

2 Timothy 4:6-9, Paul knows he will die soon,

"For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing."

Surely, it is only possible to "love his appearing" if Jesus is more valuable to us than what we enjoy now.

Paul describes those who will share in eternal life with Jesus as the ones who love his coming; the ones who are desperate for his return and pin all their expectations of fulfilment and joy on him. 2 Timothy 1:8-10 makes it clear that it is not a person's love, but Jesus' work in their place, which qualifies them to have that eternal life with him. It is all God's work.

And when God has worked in someone, there is evidence. Part of that evidence is that we want to be with Jesus more than anything.

So if I do not love Jesus' appearing, if there are things I will be sad to stop and leave behind, then perhaps these things have taken Jesus' place in my affections. These things are a problem.

I'll pray, looking to Jesus who alone cleans me, and his Spirit who changes me.

Father, move us to love Jesus more than all things. Grow us to love and long for his coming more than anything else. Holy Spirit don't let us fool ourselves with mere words, but transform our entire lives.

If you have a comment, you are welcome to email me, scw.mckay@gmail.com.

Mother fatigue

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 08:00:00 +0000

I've mentioned recently how full the days are and how tired I am when they end. There are plenty of tired people in the world. God has been very gracious to give me children, so I am thankful to be worn out caring for them. But one of the biggest challenges I am feeling is in my desire to read God's Bible.

I am trying to sort out some of the workings of my heart. How much of my lack of appetite for the Bible is tiredness? How much is just a human reaction to strain? When should I push against my inclinations and when should I just give in to it? When does this season of tiredness turn into hard heartedness? What is the difference between a weary woman and one who has drifted from Jesus into apathy?

As I try to work this out, I am thankful to have a husband who is close enough to see what's going on. He keeps reminding me of what is real and true. And I thank God for the women who see me, pray for me, encourage me and help me in the middle of my tired mother mess.

I guess this is a time for plodding along, still opening up the Bible even when my brain is not processing a lot. The same God who worked his Spirit to make me alive in Jesus will cause me to persevere in Jesus until I see Jesus face to face. God's Spirit is no less able to work when I am sleepy!

"For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:29-31

Building a little library

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 12:05:00 +0000

When evening comes and the children are asleep, I am tired. Weary of thinking and communicating, I am finding it very hard to read and write. If I am not doing housework or stumbling down the hallway to bed, I have enjoyed some time in the garage with Steve. He's been building our compost structure.

I've been building our own little library.

I spent $20 on an old wooden (and not structurally square!) box. I am using scraps left from our cubby house to form the rest. It's been fun to do something tangible and measurable and completely unnecessary. It feels good to work on a creative project, learning new skills and solving design problems. I can't wait to get to the painting stage! I'll post updates as it makes its way out to the front of the house.

Little Free Library

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sun, 22 Jul 2012 06:10:00 +0000

video HT Cactus and Olive

Ally set our family on a fun little path this week. We might have a go at building a Little Free Library to set out the front of our house.

We live on a corner where there is a reasonable amount of pedestrian traffic, in a neighbourhood which needs many of the benefits which books can bring. It could be a really good thing. It is a nice way to move forward on some thinking I've done before about literacy in community.

And it is a cool home ed project, ticking a few Science & Technology, HSIE, mathematics and English boxes along the way!

Absent

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Wed, 18 Jul 2012 09:50:00 +0000

Wow, the gaps between my posts are getting wider! Lots to do around here these days and a lot of good things being done to me. But not much left in the tank or on the clock for reading and writing.

I'm trying to stop and look my children in the eye when they are talking to me. It takes a lot longer to get things done, but I feel less like my brain has been dissected and scattered.

I am often trying to remind myself that God is everything I am not. He can effortlessly do everything all at once and never gets tired or cranky or forgetful. No one interrupts his plans. He is never frustrated. He is always good and wise and never needy. And this God has taken hold of me in Jesus, his Son. He is achieving his good plan in all my mess and spent-ness.

So, if God gives me time and space to write soon, I'll write. If not, then I guess he's got another flawless agenda.

Lifestyle coveting

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 11:32:00 +0000

I find food, homes, design and bodies quite fascinating. There are plenty of ways to feed the fascination in front of the screens which litter my life. There are many shades of good and bad bound up with each.

The trouble is, I am starting to expect that I should be able to cook and eat like a Masterchef, piece together a perfectly beautiful home, have a body like a ten year old, and be groomed for a Facebook photo all the time. Of course I am not achieving any of those things. It would be impossible to do it all at the same time.

My old self really wants to be accomplished in the things which rate, but mostly I want to throw them off. It's an awful, stupid, pitiful, selfish turmoil. Socially endorsed sins are the most easy to indulge. Even now I can hear people questioning whether we should use the word sin for these things...

The life Jesus calls us to undermines and transforms achievement in the realms of food, home and body.

A home is for people. But if I poured myself into perfecting the aesthetics of our home I would get cranky everytime the kids played and were creative (and often I do). I would stop having visitors, because the house is worse for wear when they come (sometimes I do). I would spend time doing jobs which aren't necessary instead of resting in God's word and prayer (which I do). I would give less so I can keep my interior up to date (so tempted!). I would be looking for a different house when this one stops satisfying me. I would be very hesitant to leave this home for the sake of serving Jesus and his people somewhere else. I would cling desperately to our current income in order to keep our home. Do you know what I mean?

Food. It is for strength to live and serve and have relationships. If I were to cultivate my culinary skills to the approval of food critics, I would feed fewer people. I would cook but rarely sit down and eat with people. I would only host when I could be sure of excellence. But honestly, culinary excellence is the one I am least tempted by. I find it easy to scoff at food snobs. I actually need to learn skills in the kitchen so I can serve my family and others more consistently. My obsession with food has more to do with its effects.

The body. So often I am more anxious about exercise than prayer. Instead of giving thanks for a body which is reasonably strong to serve others, I get moody about how something is not the shape I want it to be. If I were to work for the ten year old body (I never had one even when I was ten!), I would do it at the expense of rich relationship with God and others. It would take time and energy which other people need. I would miss opportunities to share food with someone because I don't want to consume those calories. And even if the numbers on the scale got lower, I would always be scared of it going up again. What a terrible slavery.

How does this lifestyle covetousness grow?
In the few quiet minutes when I could read the Bible, or work on something useful, I scroll through blogs of people whose life I like the look of. Aesthetic appreciation becomes lifestyle lust. When I go to the shops I am mentally styling and restyling myself instead of being content and finding ways to be generous. It grows when I am tired at the end of the day, and I sit in front of the smooth, skinny couples renovating houses on TV. This covetousness feeds itself every time I walk past a magazine cover. It happens every time someone announces their cute new shoes or their run or their new diet on Twitter.

Then I start to look at people as mere bodies; the curators of stylish houses; the masters of food. I stop seeing eternal people made precious in the image of God. People made by Jesus and for Jesus. People who need to be told that he is the King who saves. I become too busy measuring myself against people to love and serve them. I become hard-hearted, deaf and dull-witted in the things that matter.

In an era where we are all obsessed with being uniquely amazing at everything, following Jesus will mean we choose to spend ourselves differently. There are areas we'll choose not to cultivate to glossy TV perfection. Jesus has talked about this before,

"Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.” 14 But he said to him, “Man, who made me a judge or arbitrator over you?” 15 And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” 16 And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, 17 and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ 18 And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. 19 And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.”’ 20 But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ 21 So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”

22 And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. 24 Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! 25 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 26 If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? 27 Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 28 But if God so clothes the grass, which is alive in the field today, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you, O you of little faith! 29 And do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink, nor be worried. 30 For all the nations of the world seek after these things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 Instead, seek his kingdom, and these things will be added to you.32 “Fear not, little flock, for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions, and give to the needy. Provide yourselves with moneybags that do not grow old, with a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also."Luke 12:13-34

If you came home from church discouraged...

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 13:28:00 +0000

When Christians do things together in public, it is often uninspiring, cringe worthy, embarrassing, weak, fractured and mediocre. Sometimes far worse. But the Bible closes with pictures of the church being unimaginably beautiful (Rev 21).

The dull present will make the future perfection blindingly glorious. The contrast will show that it is God's work, God's grace and God's wisdom - not one bit of ours. God's might and wisdom will be exhibited before every power and authority and he will be adored for it. His stellar achievement, his beautiful city; the beautiful bride; Jesus' church.

God has all the power, goodness and love of his Trinitarian self bent toward purchasing, gathering and glorifying his church. He will finish what he started. God is not surprised by the often disappointing sight and sound of those who are called by his name. We cannot imagine how much he loves his church, despite herself. If he loves these people, I can't then walk away from them.

So instead of despising and grumbling about the blemishes (as if I were never part of them!), those blights are a reason to adore God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. And reason to anticipate the Day when we will be perfectly beautiful together. That's something to sing about when the music is really bad!*

*I love my local church and the music is really great! Also worth saying that incompetence, laziness and mediocrity are still bad things to be dealt with.

Unpacking suitcases and the infinity of God

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Wed, 13 Jun 2012 04:27:00 +0000

I always take a while to unpack after being away. When I finally do, the bottom of the empty case shocks me. I procrastinate so long, feeling quite convinced that there is no point starting the unpacking because it will never be done. Unpacking overwhelms me. It is a nice feeling when I finally get around to the job and realise it was a small and finite chore. It ends.
As I unpacked a suitcase this morning, I was thinking of all the more serious things which routinely overwhelm me. The conflicts and challenges which I feel will swallow me whole. The problems which seem infinitely difficult.
How silly it is for me to be overwhelmed by anything other than God. He is infinite. Nothing else is. No chore and no trial will last. Each will reach an end. Because of Jesus, God's strength and his goodness toward me won't.
All because I can't see the end of a scenario doesn't mean there isn't one. Perhaps remembering the infinite God will cure my fear fueled procrastination.

Lord, you have been our dwelling place

in all generations.

Before the mountains were brought forth,

or ever you had formed the earth and the world,

from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

You return man to dust

and say, “Return, O children of man!”

For a thousand years in your sight

are but as yesterday when it is past,

or as a watch in the night.

Psalm 90:1-4

Read Psalm 80 with me?

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 12:57:00 +0000

I'm never sure when I'll get a chance to push thoughts through to a published post. In case it takes a while, and in case you also read Psalm 80 and wondered what on earth it is about, you might like to:

Pray, asking for God's Spirit to help you.
Remind yourself that you don't have to understand all of it immediately.
Read Psalm 80 a couple of times.
Stop and imagine or draw the word pictures the psalmist uses.
Read Psalm 80 again.
Stop and think about where those word pictures have been used in other parts of the Bible.
Read Psalm 80 again.
Stop and look up Numbers 6:22-27.
Read Psalm 80 again.
Stop and have a skim read of the Gospel of John. Can you see any of the pictures from Psalm 80?
Read Psalm 80 again.
What's clearer than the first time you read it?
What's still hazy?

If you have any thoughts, feel free to email me, scw.mckay@gmail.com

Psalm 80

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Fri, 01 Jun 2012 13:34:00 +0000

To the choirmaster: according to Lilies. A Testimony. Of Asaph, a Psalm.

1 Give ear, O Shepherd of Israel,
you who lead Joseph like a flock.
You who are enthroned upon the cherubim, shine forth.
2 Before Ephraim and Benjamin and Manasseh,
stir up your might
and come to save us!
3 Restore us, O God;
let your face shine, that we may be saved!
4 O Lord God of hosts,
how long will you be angry with your people's prayers?
5 You have fed them with the bread of tears
and given them tears to drink in full measure.
6 You make us an object of contention for our neighbors,
and our enemies laugh among themselves.
7 Restore us, O God of hosts;
let your face shine, that we may be saved!
8 You brought a vine out of Egypt;
you drove out the nations and planted it.
9 You cleared the ground for it;
it took deep root and filled the land.
10 The mountains were covered with its shade,
the mighty cedars with its branches.
11 It sent out its branches to the sea
and its shoots to the River.
12 Why then have you broken down its walls,
so that all who pass along the way pluck its fruit?
13 The boar from the forest ravages it,
and all that move in the field feed on it.
14 Turn again, O God of hosts!
Look down from heaven, and see;
have regard for this vine,
15 the stock that your right hand planted,
and for the son whom you made strong for yourself.
16 They have burned it with fire; they have cut it down;
may they perish at the rebuke of your face!
17 But let your hand be on the man of your right hand,
the son of man whom you have made strong for yourself!
18 Then we shall not turn back from you;
give us life, and we will call upon your name!
19 Restore us, O Lord God of hosts!
Let your face shine, that we may be saved!

Book spine poetry

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Mon, 28 May 2012 01:30:00 +0000

Jean tagged me in a fun meme. The challenge is to form a poem from a series of book spines from your shelf.

I started with this nonsense

then with some

I built this

If this is a man

The good soldier; the unheeded Christ

The devoted life

Slow cooking disgrace

The Invisible Hand

Death and restoration

Surfacing the dip

And with some leftovers

Things fall apart

You can change

How children learn

Persuasion

I tag Heather, Stuart and Lauren to

Create a book spine poem (or two!).
Take a picture.
Post it on your blog.
Link back to this post.
Tag another blogger, or two, or ten.
If time and desire permit!

The best thing my mother gave me

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Sat, 12 May 2012 19:00:00 +0000

A strong memory I have of my early childhood is of my mother reading her Bible a lot. It made me distinctly happy. Mum's time in the Bible made me want to read it too. From those early years, I can't remember a time when the Bible didn't matter a lot to me, regardless of how little I understood it. It has been an unusual appetite.

In recent years I found the Bible Mum gave me when I was six. In reading the words she wrote inside, I see how God has been exceedingly kind in answering Mum's prayers.

That Bible; that prayer; that picture of enjoying God's words are the most precious gift mum could ever have given me. Despite countless burdens, seen and unseen, Mum gave me the best. She prayed and she gave me words which showed me Jesus. And Jesus is more precious than anything. Thank you so very much, Mum.

Thank you God for giving me Mum and Jesus.

The art of the surprise visit

noreply@blogger.com (Catherine) — Thu, 03 May 2012 12:14:00 +0000

I've spent years telling people to knock on our door any time. Most people don't. Relationships have grown most deeply with the people who do.
I like the surprise visit because I don't have time to anticipate and become anxious.
I like it because it is not loaded with expectation; I don't get the chance to panic about what food I do or don't have in the house.
In recent years, I have rarely just "dropped in" on other people. Lately, I've resolved to cultivate my surprise visit skills. Here's what I've observed:

I'm finding I get to know someone much better with a few brief, unplanned visits than with a formal three hour dinner.
There is something about the spontaneous visit which says, "I was thinking of you and I want to see you right now". It is the opposite of trying to avoid someone. It is seriously relationship affirming.
There is grace in the spontaneous visit - I'll take you whatever state you're in. I love you and I'll keep you, even when you're still in your pajamas at 2pm.
It feels like a real friendship when you can be spontaneous.
I never know what opportunities to help I will stumble upon.
I develop more of an instinct for how someone is really going when I see them in the middle of their ordinary.
I'm making a habit of praying that God might bring some good and encouragement into that household with the door step visit. This is making me a bit more deliberate on the encouragement front.
This is not something I had the capacity for when I was quite depressed. But my goal in recovering from depression was to enjoy things like this again.

When I do surprise someone with a visit, I have a few golden guidelines for myself:

I'm prepared for them to say it isn't a good time. In fact, I'd be thrilled if they felt our relationship was robust enough to bear the honesty!
If I don't know the person particularly well, I plan to make it brief.
I don't expect them to stop whatever they are doing - I try to join in and help or just chat for a few minutes on the doorstep.
I tell them I want to be brief and helpful - so they don't feel like I am looking to be entertained.
When I have lots of kids in tow (most of the time!), I try to limit the carnage as much as I can.
Before we hop out of the car, I try to make a point of asking the kids how they might be helpful to the people we are visiting.

Where I live, spontaneous visits are a bit counter cultural (unless you are family or close friends). Even still, it's not completely unimaginable and weird. I certainly feel like it is making a big difference to the depth of relationships.