View From Here

Pretty Lady

2011-05-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

Today was the one on one counselor meeting for my alcoholic problems. I know, its better that I'm beginning to accept it. Anyways, I needed to borrow MA's St. John's laptop because mine is currently out of commission. When I entered the counseling center I wanted to start with something classic, "Sorry I'm late. I had to borrow my friend's computer because I destroyed mine in a drunken rage last night." What really came out was, "Hi, my names Bryan Hoover. I have a BASICS meeting." The secretary looked at me and smiled, "What was your last name again? Hooper?" "No, Hoover. H-O-O-V-E-R." She typed on her computer keyboard for a few seconds or so and looked from her screen to me, "It says here your appointment is for 2:30." I looked down at the clock on my phone, 10:30, great. She smiled again at me, "We'll see you a little later." I walked out and went back to the room to sleep.

When I returned a few hours later I felt like I looked the part. I had my glasses on, hair was all over the place, not sure what was going on with my outfit, I didn't have socks on. "Yes, this is much better," I thought. Now I just need a better story. "Sorry I'm late. I had to borrow my friends computer because mine got too close to the flame while I was cooking my meth." Golden. "Hi, I'm back again." The secretary looked at me puzzled for a second. "Bryan Hooper." "O yes now I remember. I'm terrible with faces." "Yeah, you're also terrible with names," I thought. She then had me fill out some surveys. When I finished, she notified me that the counselors were in a meeting and that I should have a seat in the waiting area.

Not long after, the door to the one office opened and a bunch of counselor-looking folk filed out. It looked as though two of them were eyeing the waiting area like they were the main people. One of them was a guy. He was about 6 foot. Yeah, great description but I don't really know much else about him. The second was a woman who looked to be about upper 20s early 30s. She had dirty blonde hair and wore grey leggins with a green sweater. She was a looker I must say. I sound like I'm 80 when I use the word "looker" but its either that or sound like I'm 13 and use "pretty lady" instead. Anyways, they both kept looking over at me. I was trying to think of a way to get the lady to call me. In my head I was thinking, "Maybe if I bare my teeth at the guy when he looks in, he'll be afraid, and if I smile at the pretty lady, she will want to counsel me." If anyone is wondering I was picturing this in my head:

While having this deep thought process, and just before executing my plan, out of nowhere this other girl just swooped in and called my name. Damn, o well, the plan was probably a bad idea anyway.

So I go in this girl's office and she introduces herself. When she said her name I was thinking, "You look more like an Erika." I don't remember her actual name so I will call her Erika. She started off with asking me some questions about school and family. "What program are you in?" "Where are you from?" "Do you have siblings?" Then she got into some deeper questions, "Does drinking affect your everyday life?" "Do you need a drink to get going in the morning?" I answered all the questions as best I could. "Does anyone in your family have drinking problems?" I thought to myself, "Now that you mention it my sisters...stop it Bryan, not the time to crack jokes." I looked up at her, "No, no problems." She nodded and said that it was good that I have a strong relationship with my family members. She then prepared me for the next set of questions, "Now I know these may sound weird, but I ask everyone I counsel these questions."

Erika: Do you ever have the feeling that someone is following you or out to get you?

Me: No

Erika: Okay, good. Do you ever hear voices that aren't really there?

Me thinking: Do I look like a Schizophrenic?

Me: No

Erika: Do you ever see things that aren't actually there?

Me: No, well I guess as much as the next person.

Okay, after I said this I gave a laugh like I was joking, I obviously was. Erika did not crack a smile. She just jotted something into her notebook. "O shit" I thought. She thinks I'm crazy now. I tried to correct myself but I'm not sure how much it swayed her.

She finished up asking questions, had me sign a form and sent me on my way. The alcohol fiasco has finally come to a close. Although I'm half expecting a call from St. Johns psychiatric center.

Til Next time,

Bhoov

New Photos 4/26

2011-04-26T17:17:00.000-07:00

It Could Be Worse

2011-04-20T15:58:00.000-07:00

I feel like everyone complains way too much, myself included. Because of this, I have decided to make a list of bad things that happen to people, followed by worse case scenarios.

1) You trip over the rug in your house and spill wine on the carpet.

Worse Case: You trip over a dead body and spill semen everywhere while on your way to the sperm bank

2) Your teacher gives you back a test and there is an F at the top.

Worse Case: The teacher gives you your test back and there is a note stuck to the back of it: "Dear (Insert your mom's name here)." You later find out they are having an affair.

3) You get a flat tire and need to pull over to the side of the road.

Worse Case:  Your ex-girlfriend cut your breaks and the Earth's crust is melting.

4) Your phone dies on vacation and you left your charger at home.

Worse Case: Your phone dies on vacation and you left your charger at home.

5) Your roommate smokes weed in your room.

Worse Case: Your roommate uses you as a mule for cocaine to get past customs at the airport.

6) You cut yourself while shaving.

Worse Case: You cut your head off while jousting.

7) You don't get a part in the school play.

Worse Case: You get casted in one of Nicholas Cage's movies.

8) You get a parking ticket.

Worse Case:  You find out your car is gone and has been replaced with a 1971 Ford Pinto.

9) Your baby won't stop crying.

Worse Case: Your baby is a different race than both you and your wife of 10 years.

10) You have the stomach flu.

Worse Case: You don't have a stomach.

11) Your boyfriend breaks up with you.

Worse Case:  Your boyfriend photoshops a penis onto you in the naked pic you sent him and sends it to every one of his phone contacts and facebook friends.

12) Your dog died.

Worse Case: You're the last person alive and you have to strangle your dog because he has the virus.

13) Your favorite sweater shrinks in the dryer.

Worse Case: You fall down a rabbit hole.

14) You stepped in dog poop.

Worse Case: Your dog pooped in your shoe.

Til next time,
Bhoov

Hot

2011-04-14T14:08:00.000-07:00

After a few hours of studying, I finally felt like I knew my Autonomic Nervous System and Visual tracts as if they were part of my own body, hehe. I packed up all on my things and headed off for the classroom at St. John's Hall. When I walked into the old room I found a seat and a few minutes later I received my test. A little bit into the test I realized one, it was very hot in the room, and two, someone had some serious BO going on. I soon found the source. One of the proctors for the test was making his rounds and I was in his main path. From there on out it was extremely hard to concentrate. Whenever I saw the proctor coming I would take a deep breath and hold it in until I felt it was safe to breath again.

The good news is that I thought the test was fairly simple so I expect a decent grade back.

Make sure and vote on the new blog name.

Til next time,
Bhoov

New Name

2011-04-14T08:09:00.001-07:00

Hey guys, I'm thinking about changing the name of the blog. On the left-hand sidebar I have a poll going on where you can vote on one of the names provided. Voting will end April 21 at 8:05. I know its a random time but thats the one that they gave me. By the way, if you want to view the results you have to use the little scroll bar that is under the poll. Its cut off for some reason.

Thanks
Bhoov

AA

2011-04-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

I awoke in my bed to the sound of my roommate's voice. "You coming big guy?" I looked at my phone to see what time it was and then realized I had my AA meeting in a few minutes. I crawled out of bed, got dressed, and left the room with DM and PP. We arrived at the old classroom in St. Johns Hall where we all took seats and waited for the counselor to arrive. While waiting, a few other students filed into the room and took their seats. At about 1:33 a young guy wearing a shirt and tie walked into the room. He introduced himself and proceeded to explain how he was a grad student studying psychology. Eric, as he said his name was, asked each of the students in the room to introduce themselves and to explain what kind of trouble they had gotten into. From that moment on I knew that we were all in good company.

The first guy called upon introduced himself and began telling his story. "Well, I was in my room smoking [weed I presume] and apparently someone else was smoking down the hall. It was there sh** that was smelling up the hallway because they had a blunt but I didn't. Public Safety thought it was coming from my room so they came in and I got caught. I had to pay a $300 fine because I hung a hat over the smoke detector." This was exactly the kind of story that I had been looking forward to all week. Eric looked at him with a smile on his face, "Well what did you learn." The kid glanced back at him, "Don't smoke in the room I guess."

Eric then moved on to a girl sitting beside the smoker. She introduced herself and started with her story, "Well, I was walking past public safety to get back onto campus and I dropped my phone. When I went to pick it up I kind of stumbled a little bit. I was in heels so its understandable." Sitting there I was picturing this girl dropping her phone and then just completely face-planting when she went to pick it up. I felt like everyone there under exaggerated their stories, but who could blame them.

Next, was my personal favorite. A kid in the back of the room started up, "I was walking back onto campus and my shirt was a little messed up so the public safety officers stopped me." Eric stopped him right away and asked the details of what "messed up" really meant. "Well, apparently there was dirt and blood on my shirt. They asked me what happened but I couldn't remember so they sent me to the hospital." Dirt and blood!? The entire time sitting in that classroom I kept thinking to myself, "How are we getting the same punishment as these people?" It didn't make any sense.

After everyone finished with their stories Eric let everyone out. The entire thing took about 15 minutes. What a joke. It was very entertaining though I must say.

Stay classy,
Bhoov

New Photos

2011-04-12T17:21:00.000-07:00

Just decided to add some more pictures:

Something Off My Chest

2011-04-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

Growing up I became acquainted with a variety of people. Being from a small town, there were quite a few genuine people. I've also encountered my share of not so genuine people. As we all know high school is full of rumors and whatnot but I felt like I was always a main target for this kind of petty bullshit (pardon my french). Looking back on everything, I'm okay with whatever was said just for the sheer fact that I know what these people have to look forward to. Whoever reads this will know if they are part of this category or not. I've heard this type called townees so this is the term I will use.

I will always be able to smile because when its all said and done, you will be the 28 year old who never got out of Lycoming County. You will probably work at the local Hughesville diner and when its time to get off work on a Friday night, you'll meet all of your townee friends at the Hughesville football game where conversations will revolve around how you were all the shit back in high school. Thats how everything will go. Life will be nothing more than an extension of high school.

A couple of rumors doesn't seem so bad in the grand scheme of things.

Cheers,
Bhoov

Dumpster Diving

2011-04-08T13:39:00.000-07:00

This is the third and final piece of the story. Make sure to read the previous two blogs before this one.

After rinsing off in the shower, I stripped off my pants and headed out to the common room where I threw them in the trash can. I returned to the bathroom but then realized I was missing my phone. I ran back out to the common room to find PP heading out the door to take out the trash. I stopped him and carefully reached into the front pocket of the biohazard jeans, there it was. I pulled out the blackberry, "Well that was close."

I finished cleaning up and joined my suitemates in the common room. My punchline of the night was the title of the previous blog, "I had to throw out a pair of jeans." I laughed out loud each time I repeated it. What a wild night. I was heading to bed when PP stopped me, "Maybe we should have just went to Trads." I laughed, nodded, and went in my room. After a night like that, I was out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The next morning I awoke. It felt like there was a bowling ball attached to my face that was accompanied by a slight head ache. I sat up, looked at my phone, and then realized that I could not find my wallet. I looked everywhere around the room. Then the thought hit me, "The jeans!" I opened the door to our room and sprinted to the trash room, fresh bags, no trash. "Shit." On my way back to the room I saw that there was one single trash bag sitting by itself against the one wall of the hallway. It was one of those, "Could it be?" moments. I knelt down beside the back and then ripped the bag open. The stench hit me square in the face and I thought I was going to pass out. "Yep, thats the right bag." What are the odds? They must have separated that bag from all the others because they probably assumed that there was a dead raccoon in there. I ran back to my room where I had latex gloves for Anatomy lab. I slapped them on and ran back to the lone bag. It was disgusting I must say. I rooted through everything. I found the jeans. I felt the back pocket. No wallet. I kept digging. I then reached the bottom of the bag and there it was, covered in vomit. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. I returned to the room where I took all my ID's and credit cards from the wallet. I then washed it as well as I could have and then set it on the heater to dry. And so ends what I like to call "The MAA Vomit Saga." Lets all remember that this kind of stuff happens to everyone and to be polite because its not very nice to make humor out of someone else's misery.

What did I learn? Well I learned that 1) When things go bad, they really go bad and 2) When things go bad, at least it makes for a great story. There would have been no fun in just going to the bar, having a few beers, and going home right?

Til next time
Bhoov

"I had to throw out a pair of jeans"

2011-04-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

In order for this next story to be clear, make sure you have read "Calm Before the Storm."

Upon entering the cab, right away we made possibly the worst mistake of the entire night. MAA and I took the back seat in the SUV, oops. Before I knew it MAA's head was on my lap and SN was in the seat in front of us, turned around and offering words of encouragement. "MA, look at me. Your'e fine. Everythings fine!" In my drunken state I was already ticked to say the least by the scene at McFaddens. I looked at her and said in a smart ass tone, "Shes going to throw up everywhere. Its okay. It will go everywhere." I kind of giggled to myself after that little remark. As it turns out, I should have signed up for fortune telling. Before I knew it, hot vomit was cascading onto my lap and down the legs of my jeans. Too drunk to really be alarmed, I just sort of nodded along. The stuffy air in the SUV began to reek of whatever MAA had eaten earlier that day. Other members of our party plugged their noses as their gag reflexes took hold. The car ride back to campus seemed like the longest ride ever. There I sat, with a lap full of vomit, and out of nowhere I realized that my bladder was ready to burst. We pulled into the campus parking lot and DM and PP were having some sort of conversation with the cab driver. Being in the seat behind them, I was trapped. From the back seat I began screaming, "Get out of the car! Get out of the car, now!! I finally exited the SUV still holding MAA upright. Not to mention I was on the verge of peeing my vomit covered pants. The cab driver was obviously pissed. He was yelling at SN about the mess we left in the back of his cab. He had a pretty strong argument.

MAA and I began walking, well it was more of me carrying. So we made our way towards the dorms, but I had to wait until SN caught back up. Lets all remember I was still about to pee my pants so I did what any man would do. I found a place to piss. I looked around frantically and finally found a stairway that went to the cellar doors of the dining hall on campus. There was a railing beside the steps that acted more like a bike rack for me. I lead MAA over to the railing and before descending the steps I turned to her and said, "HOLD ONTO THIS, and DON'T MOVE." When I came back up I had one less problem.

We then walked the rest of the way back to my dorm, where we waited in the lobby for SN. Looking out the glass doors I saw a little Spanish-Italian girl running faster than humanly possible. She was Beelining for her and MAA's dorm. I opened the door and screamed her name. She turned and came running back to towards us. We made our hand-off of MAA and she lead her back to their dorm. I later found out that SN stayed behind because the cab driver made her clean out the cab with a paper towel. She said she was too drunk to object.

I watched the two of them walk away from Century, and I proceeded to turn around to head upstairs. Two public safety officers were working the front desk that night. "Your friend feeling sick?" I looked at the guy, then down at my vomit covered jeans, and then back up. "You could say that." I made it up to my room where I immediately went in the shower with all my clothes on (my jeans, my coat, my hat, my Tims). I turned on the water and just closed my eyes and started laughing.

Last part of the story coming tomorrow night...Stay posted
Bhoov

The Calm Before the Storm

2011-04-06T17:22:00.000-07:00

I decided that the story I'm about to tell is too long to put in one post so I'm going to tell a little bit at a time.

After a long day of classes, a bunch of friends and I decided that stress relief was in order. The biggest decision of the night was to either to go to "Trads", a dive bar that was within walking distance or McFaddens, a very classy bar which we knew would be "hoppin." In order to delay this tricky decision we all decided to pregame in my suite for awhile until the choice was made. SN had her ID so her, MAA, and myself set off for the Liquor store with a list about as long as my right arm. Jack, Georgie, Sky, Bacardi, Corona, Old English, needless to say we had more ethyl alcohol than an Organic chem supply closet. The three of us had a successful quest down the snow-shoveled sidewalks of Queens and we were welcomed back to the dorm with open arms.

A few card games got festivities started and about half a bottle of Georgie later we still had not come to a decision about the two bars. Naturally, at that point, decision making had evaded everyone in the suite so from then on things took a nosedive.

Before I continue, I want everyone to keep saying to themselves, "We have all had bad nights."

McFaddens was the well thought-out conclusion we came to. When we left the room I noticed two things. One, none of the girls had coats on and two, MA was looking pretty wobbly. Lets keep in mind that this was in the middle of winter. We met the cabs out of gate 6 and off we went, four guys, three girls.

When we arrived at city field I noticed a problem, there was a line halfway around the block. When we stepped out of the cab another problem hit me, the 3 degree windchill. Immediately everyone huddled together, coats traded shoulders between guys and gals, and we waited. MA then gave me a look that I recognized immediately. I quickly grabbed her and we rushed out of line.

She went to her knees in the snow as I quickly lifted her back up. We had a sizable audience due to the enormous line waiting to get into the bar. I could imagine what some were saying to themselves, "How funny would it be if this drunk chick threw up in front of everyone." On the other hand I'm sure some of the crowd had a more sympathetic way of thinking. Anyways, I was trying to get MAA to stand up so we would look slightly less stupid in front of these hundreds of people. Holding MAA up was not an easy task. I felt like I was some sort of rescue swimmer trying to hall one of the Coast Guard's practice dummies out of the pool. I finally decided that it was time to call it quits so I motioned to PP that it was time to get a cab back to campus. As I mentioned earlier it was winter in New York City, which meant that to get to the cab we had to climb over a waist high snow bank. What a treat this was. My swimming dummy and I had a difficult time to say the least. I was trying to push her up the snowbank but whenever I got to a certain point I would lose my footing which sent us falling back down to the bottom. It took more effort than expected, but I finally managed to get MAA into the cab.

More to come later,
Bhoov

Fight or Flight

2011-04-05T21:42:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, my birthday was a couple weeks ago, March 17th. It was a big occasion. Not only was it my birthday but it was also the first day of the college basketball tournament and it was obviously St. Patrick's day. St. Johns was scheduled to play a night game against Gonzaga. For the basketball fans out there, we all know how that worked out. Given the occasion I decided that I was going to do this day right. Some of the roommates and I got some Old E 40s (sorry to the relatives out there but lets be honest, you were all in college at one point. It may have been when the Earth was flat and dinosaurs roamed the planet but you were in college, so lets keep that in mind. You know how it goes). So we had our 40s on standby and a few of our small group decided to hold off until the St. johns game, while PP and I started the festivities early. Upon finishing each of the first two 40s, PP had the great idea that we would set the empty bottles out on the counter so we could take a picture of them later on. Seemed harmless. The day couldn't have been going any better. I was kicked back with my feet up, drinking beer and watching basketball all day. What a great way to celebrate 20 years of age. I was about halfway through my second 40 when I began feeling a little drowsy. I wanted to be energized for the big St. Johns game so MAA(my girlfriend who wasn't mentioned before. Just to clarify that I wasn't going to nap with any of my roommates) and I went in my room to take a nap.

We both awoke to a pounding on my bedroom door. Sleep is always a strange thing for me, so when I saw a man dressed like a police officer in the doorway I have to say I wasn't convinced at first. Then MAA kind of shook me and everything became o so very clear. My heart began racing, and looking back on the situation, I remember actually looking for a way out. My eyes, believe it or not, locked on the window. I was truly in fight or flight. For a second I fully believed that jumping out the third floor window of Century hall and praying that I would miraculously sprout wings before I hit the ground would be better than whatever consequences were waiting for me at the door to my room. I turned back to MAA, "Theres nothing we can do," she said in a defeated tone. Why do they call it fight or flight anyway? I get the first part but if I took the second literally I would have either been a puddle of Bryan on the concrete below or they would have had to bring in a specialist to dismantle the window to get me unstuck because logically, there is no way a human-being is fitting out that window. As it was, I gave in. Everyone filed into the common room and to my relief, the man banging on the door was Public Safety and not the NYPD. The officer asked us what was going on, so we told him the story. At about that point another Public Safety guy came through the door and the doorbanger gave him the story. "Well, I knocked on the door, this young man opened the door, as he pointed at PP. When I came in, this guy had two 40s in his hands attempting to hide them in the cabinets. He looked at DM (I like the effort big guy). These two empty 40s were sitting out on the counter." I turned slowly to PP as he patted his chest twice as if to say "my bad." No biggie there. So the officer continued with his speech to us, "Listen guys, I don't want to have to do a search so if you guys have any other drinks, bring them out now." PP got up, went in his room, and came out holding another 40. "Are you sure this is all you guys have?" the officer repeated. PP got back up, went in his room again, and came out with four more 40s, an empty bottle of Captain, and a half full fifth of Malibu. I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing. The officer thanked us for being so compliant and after taking down our names they were both gone. We laughed the whole thing off, it sounded like we were going to get nothing more than a slap on the wrist at most.

A week later we all got emails saying that we had to meet with some lady about our actions..yada yada. I met with her, told her what happened and was out in about three minutes. As it turns out we all have to take three classes and have two one on one meetings. I personally can't wait. Hi, my names Bryan, and I'm an alcoholic.

Cheers,
Bhoov

just kidding about that last line...I'm barely a normal college kid let alone an alcoholic.

But I was thrilled when the public safety officer didn't find my Georgie gin hiding in the common-room freezer.

Smooth

2010-11-22T17:33:00.000-08:00

Growing up, all my lady relatives said that I was going to be a little heartbreaker. As it turned out, they were right. In the sixth grade I dated at least seven girls and I'm sure a few girls reading this could vouch for me about that. I gelled up my hair and wore sleeveless shirts to school every other day to show off my massive 12 year old guns. I was the smoothest guy in the sixth grade, no doubt about it. One day it all changed.

Five years later I find myself on a shuttle bus coming back from a bar dressed in a makeshift ninja costume. Yes, it was Halloween night, so lets not get worried about the costume. I reached in the my black scrubs pants pocket where I kept my wallet and cell phone. I took out the cell phone and glanced at it, "2 a.m." I slipped the blackberry back into my pocket and listened to the drunken chatter that overflowed the bus. The girl sitting beside me was nearly passed out, it was obvious she had had one too many. Her tongue slightly hung out of her mouth as if I had her out running around in the yard to long in the summer sun. I was thinking about checking her pulse but I could see she was breathing so I figured she'd be fine. My attention was then taken elsewhere, across the isle were two girls, each made up and in costumes.

Good looking girls, my age, and as we all know a college girl doesn't exactly look for the most concealing costume when she's going out to the bar on Halloween night, enough said. I thought to myself, "Okay Bryan, talk to these girls, see how the old 'game' is doing." I sat there for a few minutes, going over in my head what I was going to say. It was one of those moments where I had what I was going to say and so I kept going over it in my mind about how it would sound or how I was going to say it. Let me point out an important fact here, I was not drunk during this time, just to get that clear, alcohol can't be blamed for this. So there I was saying this phrase over and over and over to myself. "It sounds bulletproof to me," I thought. I put a flirty smirk on my face, the way I did in the sixth grade, and leaned over and said, "So what are you guys supposed to be??" Right as I opened my mouth this loud gargoyle voice just unleashed itself. "Holy hell, what was that?" I thought quickly to myself. "That wasn't my voice was it?" Just to point out, it was incredibly obvious what the two were dressed as, one a policewoman and the other a firefighter, what a dumb question. The two girls looked at me, and gave me this awkward look before turning to face the window and giggle to themselves. I could named the one girl Crash and the other Burn, it would have fit the situation perfectly. I didn't blame them. "Damn Bryan, how did you get so smooth?" I thought, basically laughing at myself. "What are you guys supposed to be? What the hell kind of pick up line is that?" I turned back to the breathing corpse to my right, almost in tears from laughing at myself. The old "Games" doin' pretty good.

Little Black X

2010-11-20T09:40:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I always had a hard time finding things, simple things like a certain shirt in my closet or the apple sauce jar in the refrigerator. My mother would always ask "Are you looking with your eyes open?" It seemed like a stupid question to me all those years but its starting to make sense.

The girl standing in front of me in the omelette line had on a red hoodie and gray sweat pants, standard attire for a college girl on a Saturday. She wore no makeup and she had a pale sickly look to her. Everything came together when she reached for a plate and I saw a black X on the top of her hand.

So she went to the bar with a few friends, most likely pregaming before they left the room with the four loco they stocked up on yesterday before it became illegal to sell in the state of New York. Dressed to impress with their 6 inch heels on they attempted to walk to get a cab (I've found that few college college girls actually know how to walk in heels, the rest of them look like they're trying to walk a german shepherd whos just seen a squirrel.) Anyways, red hoodie girl gets to the bar, has a few drinks, and mostly likely grinds up on some frat guy who has enough vodka in his blood and jager in his piss to drown a baby sea lion. The nights going great but its about that time. Her friend finds her in a crowd and says she wants to leave so the four or five of them find their coats, hug a few friends goodbye, and find a cab. She finally gets back to campus and by this time the walking in heels is completely hopeless. Shes drunk, the german shepherds tipsy, even the squirrels shitfaced. Somehow with the combined effort of her and her sidekicks, she manages to return to her room. She stumbles into her bed and pulls the covers up. Shes drunk, but she still has the capacity to be able to think to herself "That was a great night." She closes her eyes and the night turns out to be not so great. Pretty soon the walls, the ceiling, everything in the room begins to whirl around her, her own personal merry-go-round. She slides one leg out of bed and puts her foot on the solid floor hoping that it will make the spinning stop, good idea but no success. She then roles out of bed and makes a dash for the bathroom, knocking things over as she stumbles along. The rest of her night is spent hailing to the porcelain throne until she finally passes out on the bathroom floor.

In the omelette line I would say that the black X on her hand means about as much to me as it does to her. Just a reminder, "Hey yeah I was at the bar last night." or

She could just like drawing black Xs on her hand.

Cheers,
Bhoov

Panama?

2010-11-18T23:49:00.000-08:00

In one hand I held the thick end of a blue necktie and in the other hand I held its skinny counterpart, "How the hell does this work again?" I hadn't worn a tie since high school, which doesn't seem like too long ago but it has almost been two years. My memory was eventually sparked and after five or so tries the tie had cooperated. I then bent down and went to tie my black dress shoes. As I pulled the laces tight I heard a popping sound as one of the laces snapped in two, "Just great" I thought, tossing the scrap of black lace into the trash and readjusting the remaining string. After nursing my dress shoe back to health I strolled over to the mirror to make sure my tie looked okay, then exited through the suite door and finally ventured over to the Hollis dorm building.

Walking into the dorm feeling completely overdressed and out of place I gave the girl at the front desk the kind of look like "You know why I'm here, where am I supposed to be?" She smiled and said "turn left, its the first door on your right." I gave her a thankful nod and followed the directions. I found the first door on the right and there was a 8x6 piece of white paper posted beside it reading: "INTERVIEW, please wait here until called upon." Below the note was a chair that I decided not to sit in, I felt better standing. Students kept coming out of the elevator and passing me giving strange looks. I felt like an overdressed choir boy. The door finally opened and a woman with a friendly face poked her head out, "Bryan, come on in."

A couple weeks ago I received an email informing students about different mission trips that St. John's organized. There were three options available: France, Philadelphia, Panama. France seemed a little too religion-ee for me, Philadelphia is well, Philadelphia, but Panama caught my eye. I decided that I would fill out an application, write an essay describing myself and see where it got me. About a week after i sent in my application I received an email that I had made it to the next stage of progressions and that there would be an information session the following week. I went to the information session and the trip sounded like a great opportunity. The only thing I have to do now is hope that I didn't tank too bad on my interview today so I get on the "team" that they are taking.

IF everything goes according to plan and I am chosen to go on the trip the plan is as follows. We fly into somewhere in florida (Tampa I think?), then we catch a connecting flight that goes into Panama City. Once in Panama City we will help out at an orphanage, sleep somewhere in Panama city, and when we get up the next day we get on a bus and drive 8 hours across Panama to some village that sounds far removed from any kind of civilization. Upon arrival the people of the village will have a welcoming ceremony for us and we will be assigned to our host families. Me and another St. John's student will be living together with a family (who speaks little or no english). We then go through a daily day of work with them such as working on a dairy farm or in a pepper field. We will basically be worked like dogs for 10 days.

It sounds like the families will have no running water and some may not own a car. In this case they said that we may have to walk a mile or 2 (or 3 or 4) to get to our work cites. Also, they said that chickens and other animals will just randomly come into the house. I think it sounds great, so fingers crossed that I make it past this whole interview thing.

Cheers,

Bhoov

Jurassic Park

2010-11-13T00:23:00.000-08:00

After finding the back of the line, I reached in the pocket of my sweatshirt and pulled out my bus ticket, "From New York to Wilkes-barre" it read. "Thank God" I thought as I stuffed the ticket back into my pocket. I then waited for the bus to begin boarding. The Port Authority Bus terminal was the same as always; dim lighting, the usual hustle and bustle, and above all else, close. After almost two months without being home I felt like the city was suffocating me, closing in with each passing day. I was relieved when the doors opened and people began boarding. When I finally made my way to the front of the line I handed the driver my ticket, set my luggage by the storage bin, climbed the bus stairs, and found my seat.

It soon became apparent that a high school class had been on a field trip to the big city and had now graced me with their presence for the trip home. "Son of a bitch" I thought, putting in my ear buds, "Its going to be a long ride." Seated in the row just ahead of me was an elderly man who looked like the owner of Jurassic Park. White hair, white beard, slacks, dress shirt, this guy had to have been late for his presentation on the whole mosquito bit. Anyways, being the overly observant person that I am (believe me, in some cases I wish this weren't the case. This being one of them) I noticed that this Dr. Hammond look-alike continually blew his nose into his hands and then proceeded to wipe it on his right shoulder. "Just look away Bryan. Thats it....Damnit Bryan, look away!" The voice inside my head was screaming at me to take my attention elsewhere, anywhere but that right shoulder. The old man finally tuckered himself out and he fell asleep. Randomly throughout the majority of the ride, my newly observed bus buddy would loudly burst out and mutter something in his sleep. At the first outburst it finally hit me. If I don't play my cards right this could be me. I could be this Dr. Hammond from Jurassic Park look-alike, just wiping snot all over myself and sleeptalking on long bus rides. How scary is that? Thats a wake up call if I've ever seen one.

About midway through this magical bus ride I noticed that I had that traveler's feeling. I guess people call it motion sickness. The scrabble tiles on my blackberry started quivering. It wasn't the feeling of sickness but more of just an uneasy feeling like your wasteband is too tight or its too hot on the bus. That feeling like you could just shit your brains out if only it were humanly possible. I started to wonder if eating that entire box of donut holes was really a great idea as i reached up and directed both of the air conditioning blower things at my face. As it turned out, I survived the rest of the trip with no unfortunate events. I arrived at the Wilkes-barre bus terminal, my Dad arrived a few minutes after. I hopped in the car, eager to get home, and away we went.

Til next time

Bhoov

4:00 A.M

2010-11-11T21:09:00.000-08:00

Laying on the couch in the suite's commonroom, I looked at my phone, "A half hour should be good." I set the alarm for 4:30 a.m and proceeded to put my hood up and shield my eyes from the overhead light. I tossed and turned on the little couch for a few minutes before going over and turning off the commonroom lights. I laid back down, motionless for several minutes, just staring at the spackled ceiling. A million thoughts must have been barreling through my mind at that point but one thought reoccurred again and again, "What the hell am I doing? It's a Sunday night, I'm 19 years old, and I've been staring at facts about bacteria for the past 4 hours." For some, a question like this means nothing. A little complaining and the idea dissolves like sugar in a cup of coffee. For me, things are a bit different. Worries don't brush off, they don't roll off, they actually form a think bubble and follow me around for weeks on end. My natural instinct is "I have to get out." It started when I was younger. I would always try everything and when I would get that feeling like "this isn't for me" I would try something else.

Laying on that couch at 4:00 in the morning, I started to think of other professions I might want to pursue. "I could be a teacher, maybe even a journalist. Is this Physician Assistant thing really worth it?" I thought to myself as I stared into the early morning blackness.

When I started writing this blog, I was going to end it with..."This is going to be the first thing I have ever finished, right down to the end." Instead, I'm rethinking that, big surprise there. So as of right now I'm still thinking, always thinking.

Cheers,

Bhoov

Back to Normal

2010-10-23T14:08:00.000-07:00

Well, I finished off the last of my midterms today. Now that things are back to a normal stress level I really don't know what to do with myself. I guess I should concentrate on gaining back the weight I lost the past couple days. I really don't understand it. After a few days I start looking like the Olsen twins. No exaggeration here...I lost 7 pounds in two days..same scale..same time of day. Anyways, the madness is over with. I know that I haven't really had much to write about the past two weeks, but I must blame school for that.

cheers,
Bhoov

Midterms Ninja

2010-10-19T22:55:00.000-07:00

I must say that last week and the start of this week have been the most mentally taxing days of my life thus far. Finals week usually has more information to wrap your mind around, but at least you can see that coming. I have been attacked by what I now call the "Midterms Ninja." Out of nowhere the work has piled sky high. Two weeks ago I was spending my nights playing Madden and now I'm lucky if I get back to the dorm before 12 after hours of studying. When I go to get my books from my room and I pass the Xbox I do kind of twitch a little bit. I feel like I'm Tiger Woods eating dinner with his family at a Hooters (before the shat hit the fan that is). Between the 10 chapters (300) pages of anatomy, an entire rat body systems and all, a micro lab report, organic exams and lab write ups my head has been spinning like a top. Most of the midterms have been conquered but I still have AnP lab exam on thursday and AnP lecture exam on Friday. Tomorrow will be nothing but rat testicles and coffee.

Cheers,
Bhoov

What If?

2010-10-16T23:27:00.000-07:00

For those of you who know me pretty well, it comes to no surprise when strange ideas bounce in and out of my mind. I am easily stimulated or as many of you read earlier, easily inspired. This time I don't really know where the stimulation came from this time. It was pure spontaneity I must say. I need to make sure I get my point across so when you read the following you can understand that this is not my true beliefs it is simply a different way of looking at things.

When you are sitting in a chair how do you know you are sitting in a chair? The obvious answer would be, "Well I feel the chair beneath me, I can look and see that I am sitting, and I can feel how I am oriented in space as far as my body goes. One could also just be blunt and say, "Ass...chair...ass and chair together..I'm sitting." For this we will use the first response for obvious reasons. Basically we know that we are sitting because our brain is telling us that we are sitting. Through all the different sensations and perceptions we are in fact sitting in that chair.

Let me ask you this. When you slam your fist down on a table, your hand stops, why? Is it because a solid piece of matter is in the way that cannot be pushed through or does your brain not allow your body to proceed any further after it feels the impact with the table or after your eyes see the impact? What if you had no sense of touch, no sight, no sense of equilibrium? Would the table be there at all? When you stand in line at the grocery store or an amusement park, would the ground be beneath your feet if you didn't feel it or see it or know it to be there? I'm saying that if you took all senses away would the world exist to you at all?

For all we know we could be floating in complete nothingness. Each and every thing or person that we see could be nothing more than a projection that our minds have conjured up that does seem very real. A "matrix" I guess you could say. I was talking with MA about this and she said so how do we all see the same things? I said that in this case other human beings would have to be projections as well. Projections that your mind has made up. Basically I'm saying that you are the main character in the greatest movie ever made, and your mind is the director.

Its a strange thing to think about. What if it was just like a dream though? What if you were actually blindfolded and floating in a pool of nothing? You would really never know because your brain makes everything so real through sensations.

This was an extremely tough subject to try and explain at 2:30 in the morning after studying Anatomy all day.

Bhoov

New Pictures

2010-10-16T09:44:00.000-07:00

Hey guys..new pictures are posted...check out the "In Color" the black and white and the HDR links on the sidebar.

Thanks
Bhoov

MOMA

2010-10-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had to make a trip to the Museum of Modern Art (MOMA) in Manhattan along 5th Avenue. The trip there was very simple, the train literally stopped about a block away from the museum which was nice. I went in through the revolving doors and headed towards the information desk. "That'll by $20," the desk girl said with a big smile. She then attempted to flirt with me which I was in no mood for after shelling out twenty bucks on a lame school project. I grabbed the ticket, thanked miss flirty, and headed towards the bag check desk. Some middle-aged girl with a Russian accent leaned up against the desk and just had that look on her face like she hated life altogether. Her mood towards me confirmed that hate. I can't really blame her. Working at a bag check desk at a museum in New York City isn't really high on my list of ideal jobs. Anyways I checked my bag with the nice lady and headed towards the gallery entrance. A guy at the gate scanned my ticket and I headed towards the escalators. I made my way to the 5th floor where the Van Goghs and Picassos were and began looking around.

To my great surprise the females at the MOMA were of very high quality. It seemed like a pretty artsy girl was around every corner which made my MOMA experience quite a bit better. I found a Van Gogh painting that I liked, "The Olive Trees," so I took a picture with my phone and took a few notes on it. I walked around awhile after that looking at just about every painting on the 5th floor. I finally found a Picasso picture that I liked. No one was around in this corner of the gallery so I stood there looking at the picture for awhile. I scribbled a few notes on my notebook and decided this would be great for the project. I must have been very entranced by this painting because as I was looking at it I started talking to myself "Okay, so this is cubism, it is dominated by a greenish shade, the shapes are closed, the brushstrokes are shallow, O wow I really have to poop." I turned to walk away and at some point during my trance a girl had approached the painting and was standing over my left shoulder. So as I turned to walk away I almost bumped into her and she had this tight lipped grin going on that looked like she wanted to just burst out laughing. "Well, time to go," I thought to myself, feeling like an idiot. I blame this situation on the painting more than myself I must say.

As I was making my way to the ground floor I had to take escalator after escalator. As I was standing on one of them a scary thought went through my mind, "What if I would trip and fall down these?" I was comforted by the idea that I would actually fall for a much shorter amount of time than if they would have been actual stairs. When I got to the ground floor I went back to bag check to pick up my backpack and the same girl was still there. She handed me my bag and I gave a big "Thanks." She just looked at me. Sometimes trying to brighten someone's day is just an impossible thing to do. Anyways, I grabbed the train back to Kew Gardens and the bus back to campus. A fairly successful trip I must say.

Cheers,
Bhoov

Carlos Wang

2010-10-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

Last night was very heated as you all know. A self-proclaimed blog "expert" by the name of Carlos Wang decided to leave a few insulting comments on my last blogpost "Easily Inspired." My thanks go out to everyone who supported me in my defense against the hispanic asian. Unexpected events came about late last night but let me tell this story from the beginning.

Last night I arrived at my dorm around 7. I walked in, greeted all the suitemates, and started putting my things away. Dmrt was in the common room along with DM so I walked out and started talking with them. I noticed my blog was up on Dmrt's computer which was cool, "Dmrt...checkin out my blog?" He just said something like he was checking it out yesterday. I started shooting at the mini basketball hoop in our common room while we were talking, when he burst out laughing. "Bhoov you have a comment on your last blogpost. Who is Carlos Wang?" Then he proceeded to read the comment that many of you have already seen:

"BHoov,

I am a blog "expert" and read tens to hundreds of blogs every day. The mindless drivel seen on this "supposed blogsite" just makes me furious. To be fair, it's not just you. In this day and age it seems everybody considers themselves a wordsmith, and thinks people like me want to hear about the boring and dull bullshit you are unfortunate enough to apprently live through every day. Keep these stories and old memories to yourself, because I can guarnantee you no one wants to read this rubbish. If you must tell someone, go to a cemetary and enlighten the graves with your experiences; at least you can't bore them to death.

Sincerely,
Carlos Wang
c.wang311@gmail.com"

While Dmrt was reading everyone was in the common room laughing over this crazy comment post. When I first heard the comment, I really didn't know what to think. I guess I just thought some idiot with too much time on his hands decided to make himself look like a jackass on my blog. My suitemates asked if I was going to write back because of course they wanted to see sparks fly with this one. I decided that I was going to write a very calm but insulting response. By the time I posted this response, 3 others from some of my close friends followed. Each of them said about the same thing. I posted this event on facebook to try and get more reinforcements against this blog expert. When I returned to the blog Mr. Wang had posted another comment which was much more intense than the first. I had a war on my hands here.

The bout lasted til 2 in the morning. I was sitting on my bed in my room thinking of a great comeback when Dmrt, TE, DM, and PP came in. They asked how it was going and then Dmrt kind of smiled. "Hey Hoovie, what was Carlos Wang's email again?" I looked it up under his comment, "c.wang311@gmail.com," I replied. "311 huh?" He said with another grin. "What room do we live in?" The lightbulb flashed in my mind, "Shit..311." Everyone burst out laughing all at once. I got punk'd plain and simple. Carlos Wang: created by TE (along with Wang's gmail account) and propagated by Dmrt and DM. A practical joke. The best practical joke I've ever been a part of..and I was the target. It was well planned and well executed so I have to tip my hat to them. They made all of you believe them too, lets be honest.

Carlos Wang: Born October 11, 2010---------Terminated October 12, 2010

Hope everyone enjoyed the show

Bhoov

Easily Inspired

2010-10-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

When I was 8 I wanted to turn a Macey's shopping bag into a glider so I could try and jump off my side deck and fly. When I was 9 I saw the movie "Rocky" and started training to be a boxer. When I was 10 I wore all black and crawled around in my neighbors' shrubs at night because I wanted to be a spy. When I was 12 I saw highlights of Freddy Adu and knew that I wanted to play on the World Cup team. When I was 13 I stayed home sick from school, started reading a science textbook, and decided science was my calling. (The lamp lightbulb beside me blew out and it was like the apple just fell on Newton's head) When i was 14 I wrote 5 pages of the beginning of a murder/mystery novel but then got bored and stopped. When I was 15 I worked on a rubix cube for a week straight everyday and got all the colors together except for two squares (it was one of the ones that turns into different shapes as you twist it, not a normal rubix cube), never finished it. When I was 17 I wanted to be a computer programmer. When I was 18 I realized what a bad idea it was to try and become a computer programmer, so I changed my major. I changed colleges after a semester. I moved to New York City from central Pennsylvania. RD and I thought it would be profitable to build a party shack out in the woods so we could rent it out to groups of people. After staying overnight in my cousin's trailer after a reception party I decided I want to own a huge chunk of land and live in a trailer on that land. After seeing the Guardian I swam hundreds of laps in my parents pool. After watching survivor man I dragged JB and RD out in the middle of the woods so we could go camping when it was basically calling for a hurricane (we got over 5 inches of rain that night and we were sleeping beside a lake).

Some might say I'm bipolar, impulsive, or maybe just crazy, but I like to think of it as "easily inspired." I like to think of it as a gift rather than a sickness because I can easily say that every good thing that has happened in my life has been caused by some kind of inspiration. I really have to bring up how much money I've wasted or even more my parents have wasted on my crazy whims of imagination. That can't be overlooked nor can some of the bad choices that I've made because I got an idea in my head that I just ran with. No one really knows why they are the way they are but the only thing we can do is accept it and have hope that things are they way they are for a reason.

Cheers,

Bhoov

By the way:

Social Network is a good movie, it is a renter however.

It is great to be home, long weekends are the best.

RW deuces cracking aces got you back to even today

KH move back to Pennsylvania please

KH good luck on rotations

Smoke and Mirrors

2010-10-04T19:34:00.000-07:00

Leave the ties at home but if you really insist, make sure its camo. It was a great weekend to be home. My cousin got married and there is nothing better than a wedding. Dad, NB, and I got some golf in before the ceremony so thats always a good thing. Anyways, we got to the church, visited with some relatives, you know the standard questions and answers. "Hows school?" "Do you like New York?" That sort of thing. The service or whatcha call it started. Genna (my cousin) looked beautiful in her dress. The groomsmen all had camo vests and ties on...kinda gives you an idea of how country this wedding was. The ceremony finished and the siblings and I went to the Nittany mall to find an ATM because we heard it was going to be cash bar at the reception. This really sounds like an alcoholic's memoir but hey..it was a wedding..live it up drink it down right?

When we got to the reception hall I immediately unhinged the vice grips attached to my feet, damn dress shoes, and I changed into my basketball sneakers. The meal was good, and afterward, the festivities began. The music was pretty lame overall until the older people cleared out. They cleared out and we got a good dose of mid 2000s hiphop. The soulja boy "crank that" dance got things started off and the night took flight from there. The dance floor was everyone's main attraction for the rest of the night except the for the frequent trips back to the tables for some cold drink (Hawaiian punch of course).

About halfway through the night I noticed the one bride's maid making eyes at me. Not going to lie, I did notice her during the ceremony so I thought to myself "Okay, this is good." In actuality, judging by the state I was in at the time, it was probably more like, "LETS GOOOOOO!!!" Anyways, I introduced myself and we danced together for the rest of the night. She seemed pretty cool, we had a good time, and don't think that me knowing hold old she was (24 or 25) was going to phase me. Where was I? Right, so we danced, had a good time, and then out of nowhere she disappeared, smoke and mirrors. I asked my cousin where she went and she was like, "I think her friend drove her home." Bummer. So in my mind I'm thinking, "Okay, either she found out how old I am or...... Yep thats all I got. She must have found out that when she was graduating high school I was still plotting strategy for kickball games at recess." Well I later found out that she had a boyfriend. You win some you lose some.

Okay, so everyone went back to Genna's place to sleep for the night. I lucked out and claimed a couch. Everyone laid around and talked for awhile before we called it a night. Everyone called it a night, everyone except my subconscious. Only sleepwalkers can relate to this, so I'll try and explain things. When I wake up in the morning there are certain clues let me know if crazy events were going on in the night. So here we go. I'll tell you what I remember, then I'll fill in what other people observed. So I wake up at about 4 a.m and I'm freezing, didn't have a blanket, and I couldn't see a thing. I had sunglasses on. This is one of those clues where I go, "O crap, what did I do last night." So I took off my shades and tried to go back to sleep but I was frozen. I looked around and everyone else had these huge blankets and they looked so warm. So I searched around, but the only thing I could find was this little animal suit thing. (Genna has a little boy and a baby by the way) So I lay back down and I tried to put my arms in the little animal suit, which really didn't provide the warmth I was looking for so I had to suck it up and tough it out til morning came. When I woke up my sisters, NB, and GG informed me of the events of the night. Apparently at some point I sat up and started yelling "HEY COME BACK HERE" talking to my smoke and mirrors girl no doubt. Anyways, from what I understand, NB said "Bryan what are you doing?" and I responded with "I have to pee." So he told me to go to the bathroom and I came back with "I don't want to step on the cat." Genna doesn't own a cat just to clear that up. I think Kristen lead me to the bathroom because she was afraid I was going to pee in some random place inside, which I have never done by the way. I have a very good sense of direction while sleepwalking. So that was the main event of my weekend. I had a great time. Congratulations to Genna and Eric.

Cheers,

Bhoov

O yea...and KH move back to PA sis!!!!