As we’re all living in what seems to be an alternative universe in which we are working from home and keeping our social distance from neighbors and friends, this challenge is perfect.  Seth comments that “we may not be able to anything about external events, but we have control over our actions.”

Like everyone, I’m spending a lot of time on Zoom and conference calls, and I’m learning where to place my laptop so that I’m not focused on how wrinkled my neck is. I hope I am using this time to learn and teach others.

How about you? What will you learn today and who will you teach? Maybe not every day of this period of time, but I hope that more days than not, I learn something new that then I can turn around a share with someone else.

One of my passions is helping people who are considering a job or career change. While this may not be an ideal time to be interviewing, I’m trying to think of other things people can do during this time. It is a great time to update a LinkedIn Profile or reach out to people in their network that they haven’t talked to in a while. No, this is probably not the time to meet for coffee or lunch but why not certainly can do a Zoom call or even an old-fashioned phone call to reconnect?

Another thing I can learn is how to make better use of video technology. I’ve done plenty of webinars over the past few years and am pretty comfortable doing them, but I’m less confident about my ability to use some of the great features of other platforms. Great time to give this a try. 

I’ve always believed that it was a good thing to be a lifelong learner and now, thanks to this pesky virus that has stopped so much of our world, I have the time to do it.  Let’s learn together and make these necessary life changes into something positive. Maybe I can get motivated to blog more often…and then again, maybe not.

Barbara Mitchell

Be prepared. I’ve never lived in tornado country, but I understand they come on suddenly. With no advance warning, you don’t have time to prepare, as in stockpiling. But you prepare by understanding the dangers and acting accordingly. Hurricanes and snowstorms, however, are disasters I’ve lived through and that do have some warning. You prepare for some disruptions. That doesn’t mean panic and hoarding. 

Be informed. I lived in Northern California for over a decade. There was never an earthquake when I lived there, but there was plenty of available and credible information about what to do when one struck. That information came in handy when I was eventually in more than one earthquake many years later.  Know where to obtain credible information from medical experts and follow it. 

Be sensible. Wash your hands with soap. Avoid shaking hands or physical greetings, etc. etc. etc. You know the drill. Practice the Wai, the Asian greeting. With a warm smile, the person will press their palms together and slightly bow the head forward until their fingers almost touch their nose. It is a slight bow.

Sensibility also extends to workplace decisions. There’s plenty of credible information about that as well.  Allow people to telecommute, but keep a few things in mind.

• Set clear expectations and guidelines.

• Make sure your technology works.

• Teleworking equals flexibility.  Let employees manage their schedules, recognizing that the current situation is unique.  Kids may be home from school, which isn’t a usual situation for teleworkers.

• Help team members prioritize their work.

Hillary Clinton reminds us, “You’re not just protecting yourself when you’re working from home, minimizing travel, and washing your hands. You’re protecting people in your community. We’re all in this together. Let’s act like it.”

Amidst the tornado of (all the) information, be the calming influence to those around you. 

Cornelia Gamlem

“We’re approaching time for March Madness, the NCAA basketball tournament. Remember last year how we struggled to keep the staff focused on their work, since parts of the tournament take place during working hours, and productivity takes a hit.”

“If you’ve got a plan, I want to hear it,” I said. “I just read that during the weeks of the tournament, lost productivity from March Madness is estimated to cost businesses close to two billion dollars.”  

“Before I tell you my brilliant idea,” said Kyle, “I want to talk about office betting, sticky issue, I know. Even though we’ve a policy prohibiting gambling, you know, I’m sure, many departments here at Kings do have office pools, and have had them for years, and, well, we’ve kind of looked the other way.”

“You’re right, Kyle. And we’re not alone when it comes to office betting.  My friend Jason shared a story that adds fuel to the fire.  A company’s employees organized a significant pool that selected winners for each game and predicted the national championship. There was even a tie breaker to predict the final score. I think it cost $10 a bracket to join, and a lot of people did, so the pot was significant.”

“I don’t think anyone participates for the money—they do it for the fun and for the bragging rights if you win,” said Kyle. 

“Well, someone in the group must have seen it differently. The person who set up the pool and collected the money couldn’t produce the winnings.  The employees who lost money complained to HR. The thing is, this company had a strict no-gambling policy, and they did enforce it. HR reminded the complainers that everyone who participated violated the policy, and asked what they thought the company should do. That apparently was the end of it, at least as far as the company was concerned.”  

“Unbelievable,” said Kyle before explaining his idea—organize an office-wide pool with no cost to enter, and give winners in certain categories prizes—maybe gift cards or Kings-themed merchandise. This would get around the ethical or legal issues surrounding gambling on company property, but also create some buzz in the building.

He continued, “We can let people know that the monitors in the break rooms will be tuned to the games, but ask that they not live-stream games on their own devices.  And we can encourage people to wear team colors, and host tailgating parties in the cafeteria to add to the festive spirit. These ideas may not keep our productivity as high as usual, but should go a long way toward building morale.” 

“All great ideas, Kyle. Let’s advance them among our HR team, marketing, IT, and the Leadership Team. I want you to take the lead on this. You know, work is serious stuff, but there’s nothing wrong with lightening things up from time to time.”

Maryanne Robertson

__________________

Workplaces in the 1980s probably weren’t ready for toys, but welcome to the 21st Century. With the introduction of gamification in corporate training—the process of applying gaming designs and concepts to learning sessions to make them more engaging and entertaining for employees—is opening up new markets for companies like Playmobil and Legos. 

A methodology called Lego Serious Play has emerged and found its way into corporate training, where a certified Lego Serious Play facilitator, brings a pile of Legos into a conference room and guides a team of employees through building exercises meant to spur new ideas and unlock imagination and innovation. The concept is based on research showing that our hands are connected to 70 to 80 percent of our brain cells. Let’s hear it for tactile learners. 

I read about this in a December 23, 2019 article by Jason Wilson in the Washington Post Magazine, entitled Playmobil’s Plan to Infiltrate your Workspace. Playmobil is getting ready to launch a product called Playmobil Pro—an innovative modelling system for professionals. The idea is to bring Playmobil figures into the workplace so employees can creatively role play, find new solutions, or bring theoretical discussions to life. The same toys you loved as a child help aid in prototyping, project management, creative workshops and more. 

According to Guy Stephens, a facilitator based near London who uses Lego Serious Play, using toys in corporate settings can have significant benefits. “It takes people to a deeper, more emotional level,” he explains. “There’s a level of empathy. It’s a much safer space to ideate.” 

Who said work can’t be fun and games? Bring some levity into your workplaces.  It will reduce stress and increase productivity and creativity.  

Cigna recently shared their research in the 2020 Report on America’s Loneliness Epidemic. It found that 61% of those surveyed were lonely at work. Surprisingly, 80% of Gen Z and 70% of Millennials said they are lonely.

Why should business leaders be concerned about a lot of lonely people out there? Because there are costs associated with it. The study found that lonely employees are five times more likely to take a day off work due to stress and are twice as likely to take sick days or consider quitting. 

Take a look at the Gallup 12 research that says that it is important for people to have a best friend at work. When people have a friend at work – someone with common interests to have lunch with and to connect with – they are less likely to be lonely and more likely to be productive. 

You can break the loneliness cycle in your workplace by fostering a more collaborative work environment. Consider ways to bring people together to problem solve or serve on cross-functional work teams giving them a chance to connect with people from other departments or functions. Encourage face-to-face communication by getting people moving – less texting, more walking over to talk to a coworker. Have no-texting Tuesdays.

Consider some ways to bring your employees together just to socialize:

• Monthly potluck lunches where everyone contributes a dish from a country that represents their heritage.  Food is a great way to bring people together.
• Speaking of food, assess common eating areas. Are they places where people can/want to go—places where they can sit with others, eat, and have a conversation? Encourage this and discourage grabbing something to eat and taking it to your desk to eat alone.
• Start a book club that meets during a monthly lunch break. It need not have a theme – whatever the group is interested in or organized around your industry. Either way, it’s a great way to socialize.
• Survey your team for ideas. For example, one organization found they had a lot of people who were training for a marathon, so they started a running club that spilled over to the weekends. When the employees ran the marathon, lots of their non-running coworkers went out to cheer them on and celebrated after it was over. 
• Start a mentoring program that encourages people to come together. Mentoring is a natural way to bring people together and has proven to be effective to help ward off loneliness at work.
• Consider doing some team building activities at each of your staff or all hands meetings. The more people know about each other as human beings, the easier it will be for them to connect.

Loneliness is something to be concerned about at work and in general. Connecting with remote employees is another challenge for a future blog.  For now, what can you do today to ensure that there are fewer lonely employees working for you?

Entering the Ministry and taking part in the presentations and discussion was surreal.  It’s primary function is human capital development in the public sector—Chinese civil servants and employees at institutions providing social and service delivery functions, such as schools, research facilities, and medical centers.  We learned about its role in the transition of China from a planned to a market economy.  

At Tsinghua University’s School of Economics and Management in Beijing, we exchanged ideas about HR and management issues.  The faculty discussed their research on evolving business and management strategies and the emerging role for HR in China. Most of us in the delegation were surprised when a young and very assertive female Assistant Professor commented, "We encourage our old people to retire.” It was in response to a question regarding concern over losing institutional knowledge and experience. What we learned was that as China emerges from decades of a planned economy, they are suffering from a loss of talent, especially middle management.  What young managers and professionals lack most are experienced mentors.  Our take away from that discussion was their need for management training with an emphasis on middle management. Many of us in the delegation saw a big opportunity in that area.

Fast forward to February 2020.  Last week Barbara and I were each absolutely surprised and delighted to receive a very unexpected package in the mail.  Our publisher sent us presentation copies of the translation of The Manager’s Answer Book into Chinese and The Big Book of HR into Vietnamese. We knew that they sold the foreign rights to our books, and we knew The Big Book of HR had sold in countries such as Brazil, Germany, Spain, U.K., France, Australia, India, Mexico, Japan, Canada and Italy.  But to see it translated into two Asian languages—that was beyond our wildest expectations.

Looking back on that December 2006 afternoon at Tsinghua University, I’m delighted to be able to fill a part of that need for middle management training in China with The Manager’s Answer Book.

Cornelia Gamlem

“Calm down, Allison,” I said to my friend, a young professional I’ve been mentoring. She was telling me that while she was on a date last weekend—a nice romantic dinner—she spotted two people from work, and there was nothing casual about the dinner they were having. 

“I spotted them across the room on our way in, and fortunately, the maître d’ escorted us into a smaller, more private room. Dave is so romantic,” she sighed, changing the subject for a moment.  “Anyway, they were holding hands and only had eyes for each other, which I guess was good for me.”

“I hope it didn’t spoil your date,” I said smiling. 

“It didn’t, but I know I’ve got to tell my boss tomorrow when he gets back from his trip. It’s tricky because the woman reports to the man she was with, and he heads up a significant line of business, and she manages one of the important projects. Is it an ethics violation if they’re married to other people and dating? Could we fire them for that?”

I knew this was a challenge for Allison. Her family was a close-knit one. Her grandparents just celebrated their 60^th wedding anniversary. I had to frame this as a business problem for her.

“Allison, look at your policies and the situation. You’ve told me your company has no restriction on dating. And whether or not anyone agrees with their behavior or morality on a personal level, it’s not necessarily a violation of business ethics. It doesn’t sound like there’s been a work-related issue until now. If there’s the perception that she’s receiving preferential treatment from him because of their reporting relationship and personal involvement, that could have a big impact.”

“What if anyone else has seen them?”

“Good point, Allison.  And let me say, they’ve not exercised good judgment by appearing in public while trying to keep this relationship secret. Why don’t you suggest to your boss that they be made a part of the solution?  I’m sure they are aware that their personal relationship was bound to have an effect at work. There may be a solution that you’re not aware of. I’m sure there are a number of options that can be explored.”  That seemed to relieve a little of Allison’s anxiety.

As I ended the call and took off my headset, I took a deep breath to clear my head. It's never black and white when you're dealing with people. There are always shades of grey, and managing in that grey zone is the biggest challenge.

- Maryanne Robertson

P. S. Who is Maryanne Robertson and why is she writing this post? If you missed our January newsletter, you can find out more about Maryanne at

http://makingpeoplematter.blogspot.com/2020/01/meet-maryanne-robertson.html.

I’m not a therapist, so I can’t diagnose the problem, even if I suspected some sort of addiction may be involved. It was clear, however, the employee was not in denial. He acknowledged he couldn’t stop his behavior.  If the problem had been presented to me, I would have asked, “Does your organization have an Employee assistance program?” 

Employee assistance programs, or EAPs, are a tremendous resource for organizations. An EAP professional can help employees with problems affecting their lives and work and can help managers by assessing a situation and preparing them to address the problem with the employee so the outcome is positive for everyone. 

Of course, in the situation described above, the employee was aware that he had a problem. That makes it easier to steer him in the right direction. Let him know that the EAP is a resource and explain how to contact them. 

However, that’s not always the case. An employee may be in denial. Then what’s a manager to do?

Describe the behavior, to both the EAP professional and the employee, in detailed terms. Be specific about the behavior that is causing concern. Provide the employee explicit, quantifiable facts that are hard to refute. For example, “On Monday, you yelled at your co-worker in a tone of voice that was threatening. Several co-workers witnessed and reported it.” This helps to break through the employee's denial that a problem exists, and lets the employee know that you have noticed something. At this point, you can offer the EAP as a resource.

When you’re speaking with the employee, keep in mind that you are not a therapist or healthcare provider. Avoid diagnosing the root of the problem. Leave this to the professionals. Your job is to focus on maintaining the proficiency and productivity of your department.

This got me thinking. Yes, we must be kind to others, our family, friends, neighbors, or just our fellow human beings. But, in order to take care of others, don’t we have to take care of ourselves as well?  As the flight attendants say, “Put on your oxygen mask before helping someone else.”

Taking this idea into the world of work, what would happen if were kind to ourselves there? Some of you may be thinking of certain co-workers who are pretty easy on themselves. I’m not talking about them, I’m talking about you and me, and examining our own actions and reactions. 

When we experience a setback at work, what would happen if we were to treat ourselves as we would treat a co-worker experiencing the same situation? Most likely, we’d be unerstanding and compassionate—and, dare I say, kind—to others but we’re pretty hard on ourselves.

Failed projects and proposals or other work problems often cause many of us to either become defensive, looking for someone else to blame, or beat ourselves up for our incompetence or poor judgment in a situation. Neither of these actions are helpful in moving us forward.

What we should do is be kind to ourselves! Show more compassion and less judgment. Recognize everyone makes mistakes or experiences setbacks, and move past it. If you’re not certain if you’re doing this, ask the following questions:

• “Am I being kind and understanding to myself?”
• “Am I keeping my negative feelings about myself in perspective?”

If you still find yourself struggling, consider this advice from Serena Chen, psychology professor at the University of California, Berkeley. In the September-October 2018 edition of the Harvard Business Journal she suggests writing a letter to yourself in the third person, as if you were writing as a friend or family member. Since many of us are better at helping others than helping ourselves, this tactic might help you be kinder to yourself.

Professor Chen says that while the business community has gotten better about recognizing organizational failure is not final, we haven’t fully embraced the idea that personal failure can also be a growing experience. 

Be kind to others but also be kind to yourself and see what a difference this can make in your own life. If you’re a manager or leader, being kind to yourself will have a positive impact on everyone on your team. 

Maryanne is the central character in our upcoming book. She’s the Chief HR Officer of a fictitious restaurant chain headquartered in a large Midwest city. And the issues she deals with, often daily, are complex and simply unbelievable. 

Of course, Maryanne doesn’t deal with these issues alone. That wouldn’t be any fun. She wants to teach and inspire her staff, support her management team, and share challenges and ideas with outside colleagues so they can learn and grow together. It’s through Maryanne and her colleagues that the stories in the book will be told.

A little more about Maryanne. She’s married to an employment attorney, which often makes for interesting pillow talk. And don’t expect them to always agree. After working several years for a management consulting firm, she returned to work at the restaurant chain, where she’d worked as a server during college, and eventually found her way from operations into HR because she was driven by the challenge of making people matter. 

Maryanne has the respect of her peers on the management team, but there’s always one exception.  Larry Blackstone, the CFO, thinks Maryanne only sees the people side, the soft side as he likes to say, of business. He forgets that while she was assistant manager at one of the largest restaurants in the chain, she developed retention strategies that significantly reduced turnover and resulted in significant savings.

Kyle Greene, the employee relations manager who reports to Maryanne, thinks she’s amazing and is grateful to be working for her so early in his career. “She’s smart and attractive with her dark hair and bright green eyes. People take notice when she walks into a room. She has a soft, yet commanding, presence and is admired as a business leader in the community outside the company as well.”  

Someone from the outside business community who greatly respects her is Jason Edison, although they do have some history. They worked together in the management consulting firm Maryanne joined right out of college and have remained good friends and colleagues. It was Jason’s idea to start the networking group of HR Executives. They support each other by sharing problems and offering solutions. 

These are just some of the peers and colleagues you’ll meet along the way. And it’s through all of them that the stories in the book are told. In the coming months, we’ll give you glimpses into the types of stories you’ll read in the book. You’ll read tales about managing in the grey zone, because people and the situations they put themselves into are rarely black and white.

It’s great when employees feel there is something special about finding a job, a company, an organization where they genuinely enjoy going to work every day and even putting in extra hours sometimes.  Who do you want judging you as an employer – a panel of external judges or your employees? 

Consider the following excerpt from an Albuquerque Journal article that appeared on December 12, 2019 about a local, top workplaces competition.  Two of the questions in survey for the 2019 competition were:  How satisfied are you with your job? How satisfied are you with your organization?  Some of the rave reviews from employees surveyed among last year’s winners include:

• Decisions are made based on member impact and the bottom line is not the primary focus. People who work here are generally passionate about helping our members and our community.
• I have the ability to make a meaningful difference in people’s lives every day.
• Have never worked in a place that makes you feel so welcome and needed.
• I really enjoy coming to work because it’s a very positive environment to be in! I love what I do and enjoy learning new things, but especially spending time with the students because they are an important part of our community and our lives.
• This job allows me to work to my strengths. I am able to balance work and personal life with my work setting. I love the people that I work with, they are all supportive.
• Every day is different, challenging and exciting.
• I am able to do what I love and grow.
• I enjoy my co-workers, team work and making the job fun. I look forward to coming to work every day for another new adventure. Having management understand and support our team is a huge factor.
• Every person I have interacted with is so helpful and happy to help teach me something new. I have never felt discouraged or dreaded coming into work. I truly feel like I am making a difference in other’s lives even without presently meeting them face to face.

Here’s the challenge for 2020: Think of the accolades you want your employees to shower on you as an employer – or even as a manager. Then make it happen. Engage your team every work day during the coming year. Get some ideas on page 37 of The Manager’s Answer Book.

The Smithsonian Institution named a new leader in 2019, and the ceremony was both informational and emotional.  Many of the distinguished speakers talked about the new Secretary, Dr. Lonnie Bunch’s, passion for learning, and that’s what The Smithsonian is all about.

At a time when learning doesn’t seem as valued as I think it should be, it was refreshing to hear speakers at the ceremony, including Chief Justice Roberts, talk about the importance and the power of life-long learning.  We need to continue to learn both as individuals and as business leaders or in whatever vocation we’ve chosen. And, the best part of learning today is that it has never been easier.

Consider how easy it is for anyone to listen to a podcast while sitting in traffic while commuting or while on a long road trip. Think about what’s available on YouTube—not just to entertain us but to inform and educate us and our children.

As business leaders, it is extremely important that we provide development opportunities to our employees. They want to expand their knowledge, and we need to make it easy for them to take advantage of the learning that will make them better at their jobs and better as people. Employee development is a powerful engagement and retention tool.

Developing the skills and abilities of our employees does not necessarily mean sending them to training, or bringing training in-house. While training can be valuable, we need to open our minds to what other ways we can encourage our employees to love learning.

Here’s a challenge for you: Be an example to your employees by letting them see you expanding your skills and knowledge. They need to see you reading books and articles. They need to see you attending industry events where learning is emphasized. They need to see you demonstrate your love of learning.  I hope you’ll accept this challenge and make 2020 a year in which you revisit you own love of learning and motivate others to do the same.

And, if you’re in DC for any reason, take time to visit us at one of the many Smithsonian instillations.

Barbara Mitchell

• Who and what might inspire us in 2020?
• What do we want to learn in 2020?
• How can we contribute to make the world a better place in 2020?

For any of us, the first thing that needs to happen is to clear out some of the current noise to make room for more creativity. When we focus our attention on daily activities—routine tasks that we think are important but maybe aren’t that critical—we don’t allow time for creative thought or learning.

Jettison some of the activities that eat up so much time, so we can add new and exciting adventures.  Get rid of some things we don’t need to do.  For Barbara, maybe this is the year to take that French class she’s been talking about for years. For Cornelia, maybe travelling with her husband. For both of us, 2020 will be the year for us to publish a new and very different book. What about you?

In 2020, let new ideas inspire you. We plan to research and uncover some podcasts and blogs to not only follow, but contribute to. Following a few people like Brene Brown and Seth Godin will provide inspiration and lots to think about. Like most writers, we are avid readers, so we’ll likely put together lists of books to read for pleasure, for research, and for life-long learning.  What about you?

Then there is the really big question—what am I going to do to make our world a better place? It’s so easy to put that aside. What can I do? I’m just one person? Italicized 

While that may be true, one person can make a difference in our world. Think about 16-year-old Greta Thunberg. She’s an environmental activist whose work on climate change has gained international recognition at the United Nations and so many other places.  She’s making a real impact on the world, and she’s a teenager! 

We live in a chaotic world, and since 2020 is a presidential election year in the U.S., it stands to reason it will be a time of great change and potential animosity.  Maybe each of us can contribute to making the world less chaotic in 2020 by being a better listener and treating everyone with kindness and respect. What about you?

Barbara and Cornelia

Nationals’ manager, Dave Martinez, credits his mother for the quote “Bumpy roads lead to beautiful places.”  Perhaps it’s an adaptation of Zig Ziglar’s “Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations. The best is yet to come.” Nevertheless, it certainly has proven true for the Washington Nationals.

There isn’t one, single thing that made the difference between a 19 and 31 record in May and a World Series win. The owners increased their contribution so that the General Manager could add players to the roster. Every player and every coach had to step up, and they did.

It’s common for managers who encounter adversity to blame others or want to take drastic action such as fire people, but the Nationals did it differently. In addition to adding strength to the pitching, especially in the bull pen, the Nationals took a simple but powerful action that most likely made the biggest difference. It is the manager’s challenge to the players to go 1 and 0 every day.  Rather than obsess about the 19 and 31 record, he focused them on winning one game at a time—keep winning so that they could be World Champions.  He didn’t let them get ahead of themselves, and he certainly didn’t let them beat themselves up about the losses. The goal was, “Let’s focus on today and go 1 and 0.”

And then there was the fun element. If you saw any of the post-game coverage or the amazing parade the Saturday after game seven and the win, you saw and heard that this is a team that loves each other and loves to have fun.  While the Baby Shark music can drive me crazy in 11 seconds, it was something that was electric at Nat’s Park and got people from any age group, kids to grandparents, involved. 

There’s a lesson in all of this for managers. How could you adapt this strategy to your team? Do you set realistic goals? Do you celebrate when your employees meet or exceed their productivity goals? When you hit a bump in the road, what do you do?

Do you allow your employees to have some fun at work? Building in some time for people to get to know each other and have some fun may make your organization more productive. Give it a try!

When you hit a bumpy road—whether as a manager or in your personal life—focus on where you’re headed and celebrate when you get to the beautiful destination. Adversity can be a great motivator, or it can stop us in our tracks. It is up to you.

Barbara Mitchell

I recently learned that there are more than 100 labyrinths in New Mexico, where I now reside. They are in churchyards, school playgrounds, public parks and private retreats throughout the state. I know there is one in a churchyard not far from where I live. And I’ve walked one at Ghost Ranch in Abiquiu, NM.  There are several in the Washington DC metro area where Barbara lives as well.

It’s probably no accident that I came across this information about labyrinths this month in New Mexico Magazine.  November is a month for reflection and gratitude—time to pay homage to the people and things that are important. And New Mexico is such a restful and contemplative place. 

Consider what’s been accomplished in your organization this year and take time to celebrate those successes.  Give thanks to the people who made those successes happen.  Reflect on your own organizations culture—its traditions and celebrations.  It’s a perfect time to review the past, and learn some lessons from past experiences before looking to the future and the year ahead.

Barbara and I have a lot to be grateful for this year. We’ve had some wonderful opportunities to talk about our books and are very grateful to all of our readers who support us.  We’ve had wonderful feedback from our beta readers for our upcoming book which is on track to be published during 2020. We’re grateful to them for being part of our journey. 

You don’t necessarily have to walk a labyrinth to reflect on the past year, but if you want more information about them, including the location of one near you, contact the Labyrinth Society (https://labyrinthsociety.org).  If you decide to experience one, step into it with purpose while you pray, recite a mantra or walk in silence as you reflect. No matter what you do, take some time during this month of gratitude to consider all the things that grace your life.  

On a Sunday morning in September of 2019, I read a cartoon, a column, and an article in the newspaper that all illustrated microaggressions—situations where boundaries were crossed.

Dilbert was mocking a bunch of men who are weak, stupid, and can’t solve a problem while the women can. Is it sexist because only the men are weak—not the women? Of course it is. Discrimination on the basis of sex covers both men and women, and this crossed an interpersonal boundary.

The work advice column discussed repeated and frequent disparaging comments about age directed to an older worker by a younger one. This is another example of crossing an interpersonal boundary and is a potential violation of the Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967, especially if the behavior is persistent. 

Then there was the article was about workplace discrimination against natural hair—natural for African-Americans.  It cited allegations of job offers rescinded and terminations that occurred because of hair style—explicit discrimination. Subtle discrimination was also included—comments about natural hair being unprofessional and the microaggression of attempting to reach out and touch the hair of an African-American colleague. This crossed a physical boundary.

Another example from a different source illustrates a manager crossing a personal boundary.  She continually complained in staff meetings about her step-child’s medical needs. A staff member had a child with similar needs and was extremely uncomfortable with the manager’s comments.

What can individual employees do to contribute to a workplace of respect? 

• Be discreet and sensitive to others. Don’t assume that other people won’t be offended.
• Consider the impact of your behavior on others. 
• Respect privacy—yours and that of others. People have varying comfort levels about discussing certain topics.

What can organizations and managers do? 

• Raise the bar on acceptable workplace behavior and accept nothing less than respect and professionalism.  
• Acknowledge employees who treat each other with respect. 
• Talk about respect, civility, and your policies, with team members. 
• Encourage employees to speak up, and acknowledge them when they do. 
• Take concerns and complaints seriously, and have a neutral process to look into them. 
• Dispel any myths that anyone is exempt from your high behavior standards.

Don’t let microaggressions take your organization down a slippery slope toward a toxic workplace. It’s up to the leaders of the organization to take on the challenge of building and maintaining positive workplace cultures.  

One myth is that veterans suffering from PTSD are unstable or may be a liability. PTSD is not a condition confined to combat veterans. Anyone in the population can suffer from it. Don’t let that be a barrier.  

Other myths, or assumptions, are veterans always want to be in charge or they are overly qualified and likely to leave for more pay. Like any assumptions, they may apply to some individuals but are not likely to apply to all veterans. Grant qualified veterans an interview and ask them about their knowledge, experiences and skills—in other words, their job-related backstory.

Finally, there’s the assumption that if a veteran does not have a degree needed for a particular job, then skills and knowledge are lacking.  The training the military invests in technical skills such as pharmacy tech, dental assistants, payroll specialists can be the equivalent of up to two and one-half years of civilian training. In basic training, which equals approximately six months of civilian training, veterans learn critical thinking, problem solving and accountability.  

Aside from the technical skills and security clearances veterans bring to the table, here are just some of the other reasons to consider them for jobs in your organizations.

Veterans foster teamwork. In the military, it’s critical to work as a team to accomplish the mission.  Veterans have extensive experience working to complete a mission, regardless of the time it took, or the levels of stress and adversity they faced.

Strong leadership and followership qualities.  Veterans are trained in effective leadership and are given authority over others. They are accountable for the success of the team and the mission. A good leader needs good followers to succeed and veterans understand this like no other members of the civilian society.

Trust and respect. Organizations can’t succeed without trust among its members. This couldn’t be truer than in military organizations where trust is critical for mission success. Veterans learn the importance of respect—respect for each other, for authority, and for policies and protocols along with the potential consequences of not following protocols and procedures.

Tax credits. Organizations can earn Work Opportunity Tax Credits of up to $9,600 for hiring unemployed or disabled veterans. The credit can be higher for wounded warriors.

It’s true veterans are not necessarily prepared to get jobs outside the military. That should not be a barrier either. Consider using veterans who are currently in your workforce to help recruiters understand and interpret the qualifications listed on a veteran’s resume or application.  An experienced veteran can help translate military experience to civilian job requirements.  

All veterans want to make valued contributions to the workforce, not unlike most civilian workers. Don’t be reluctant to hire these qualified man and women who are enthusiastic to learn and move your organizations forward. 

Manager’s Tips: Managing people is challenging. No matter if you’re a new or seasoned manager, you should always be working to sharpen your people management skills. That is exactly why we included a question in The Manager’s Answer Book on how to up your managerial game.

Here are a few of those suggestions:

• Take advantage of books, webinars, podcasts, YouTube videos, and so many more ideas from experts
• Get to know your employees so that you understand what motivates them
• Listen carefully to your staff
• Reward successes and learn from failures
• Be a positive role model—live your values
• Find a mentor and be a mentor

We also think it is important for managers to be able to show vulnerability. Many managers make the mistake of thinking they need to have all the answers. They feel that if they admit they don’t know everything, they won’t be respected. In fact, the opposite is true. Letting your employees see that you are human actually builds respect and loyalty.

For more information, check out page 114 of The Manager’s Answer Book.  Remember that management development begins with you, so take charge of your own development.

Be clear. Don’t assume others understand you or what you’re going to do next. Don’t assume they are mine readers. 

Carry your weight. Once you have a clearly defined next step, do it. You can’t control other people, so focus on one thing you can control—your own work.

Have an agenda. Aimless meetings or phone calls that don’t produce anything are problems.  An agenda with clear goals and discussion items keeps you the project on track and everyone accountable. 

Don’t be shy. Yes, be polite, but don’t accept ideas you think are inferior. Don’t hesitate to offer your own ideas.

Stay visible. Nothing is more frustrating than someone who doesn’t respond to emails or texts for days at a time. Be responsive.

Remind yourself that no idea is too small. Don’t sacrifice details for focus on big picture stuff. Sometimes going down a lengthy rabbit hole can yield pure gold. 

Prepare your arguments. When you’re collaborating, you’re a committee member. Take time to organize your thoughts. 

Embrace discomfort. Collaboration sometimes means ways of working that you’re uncomfortable with, but unless this involves illegal or unethical activities, make an effort to embrace it.

Speak up early. If you’re not happy or comfortable with something, don’t simmer for months and then blow everything up. Speak up right away. And if you lose the point, be diplomatic and graceful.

Be prepared to go on alone. Give the project your best, and approach the partnership honestly. But if your partners fail and drop away, have a plan for how you’ll get something out of it anyway—and know how you’re going to handle it if you are the one who has to drop out. 

Collaborating with someone might be an amazing experience that changes how you work, or miserable one—either way it’s going to teach you something.

Adapted from an article by Jeff Summers, All Together Now, in Writer’s Digest, November/December 2019.

Manager’s Tips:  If any of these reasons apply to you, let’s consider why you should delegate.

1. Delegating routine tasks frees up your time to think, strategize, and manage your team.
2. Delegating work is a way to develop new skills in your staff.
3. Delegating work shows you trust your employees which goes a long way in establishing a positive work environment.

When you are comfortable delegating, think about who is the best person on your staff to take on a new challenge. Consider who has the potential to take on this task so that you ensure a successful outcome. You certainly don’t want to set people up to fail.

When you have that person in mind, provide all the help and resources they need. Set some milestones so that you check on their progress, and make yourself available for consultation. Don’t forget to reward their good performance.

For more information on how to be a good delegator, see page 54 of The Manager’s Answer 

To celebrate National Boss’s Day, which falls on October 16 this year, we wanted to share some of our insights, recognizing that individuals are often promoted with little preparation or training.  They’re not prepared for managing themselves or others in the new role. 

So we looked back on some of the questions we were asked.  If you want to be noticed and acknowledged as a great boss, what’s the most important thing to do?  Well, you’ve got to develop a personal brand.

Why is having a personal brand so important?

As a manager, all eyes are on you.  You have to show you are credible and competent to be successful.  Your brand is how you present yourself—how you communicate, act and interact with others. Interactions aren’t limited to your staff, which are, of course, important. They also include interactions with people both inside and outside the organization. As a manager, you are representing the organization, so you always want to be mindful of how your actions uphold the organization’s positive culture.  Lead by example—others will follow and behave similarly. 

What traits are important in building a positive personal brand, and how should a manager exhibit those traits?

Clearly, at the top of the list are ethics and integrity. This means being true to your values and principles and making decisions that don’t contradict them.  Seek out people with common values, and respect the people around you. Avoid being judgmental of others.  Trustworthiness is also at the top of the list.  Maintain confidences, exercise discretion, and avoid rumors and gossip.  Listen to your staff, and be as transparent as you possibly can. Be fair and consistent with your staff, and admit when you are wrong.  And finally, have courage—show the confidence and integrity when you see something is wrong or not moving in the right direction to say something. Confront wrongdoing, no matter where it’s occurring. In addition, courageous leaders not only speak out and take an opposing point of view, they may also advocate for ideas and positions that might not appear to be popular.

Being a manager is hard work.  Being a great boss is even harder. So, celebrate great bosses on October 16.  Do something festive. Decorate their offices. Take them to lunch. And if you want to give them a gift, we’d be honored if you gave them a copy of The Manager’s Answer Book.

After you celebrate your success, take time to think about how you will approach your new responsibilities. If you now manage people who used to be your peers, consider how you will handle the fact that you’re no longer their co-worker; you’re now their manager.

If you’re now managing a different department, you still face the challenge of how to get to know your new team so that you can maximize their performance.

Getting promoted is great, and you likely have a lot of questions and concerns. Do you have a good support system to help you navigate the road ahead?

Manager’s Tips:  The Manager’s Answer Book can help by offering some suggestions for you to consider.  

• Find a mentor either inside or outside your organization who can be extremely helpful as you seek to lead your team successfully. Be sure to select mentors who are knowledgeable and trustworthy.
• Start or join a manager’s group either inside or outside your organization where you can share experiences and learn from each other.
• Take advantage of the amazing resources available to you in webinars, podcasts, books, and articles. Check out TedTalks and YouTube videos for additional learning experiences.

For more information on this topic, see page 22 of The Manager’s Answer Book.  Congratulations on your promotion. 

Ask A Stupid Question Day was created by teachers in the 1980’s to get kids to ask more questions in school. It started in the United States, but is now celebrated in lots of other countries including India and Britain.

I have to admit that this day might have been started by those who taught me in Cleveland Heights, Ohio. As a student, I thought that it was better not to ask questions for fear of sounding stupid—and I hate the word stupid.  Now I know that was not a good learning strategy!

These days, I love asking questions, and I really love answering them.  As you may know, Cornelia Gamlem and I co-authored The Manager’s Answer Book in 2018. The tag line of that book is “Powerful Tools to Build Trust and Teams, Maximize Your Impact and Influence, and Respond to Challenges.”

In our book, we respond to questions around these topics:

• You’re a new manager, now what?
• Developing your management skills
• Building and managing your team
• Creating your personal brand
• Managing up, down, and around
• Avoiding potential land mines
• Recognizing legal pitfalls

When we were working on this book and collecting questions to answer, we never considered a question too stupid to include in our book. If something is one your mind or if there is something you don’t understand, odds are many other people have the same question and they may be like me in school—not brave enough to ask it.

So, ask as many questions you want. Don’t worry about what other people think and don’t wait until September 27, 2019 to ask them. We’d love to answer more of your questions anytime you’d like to ask.

The Manager’s Answer Book, along with our other books, is available on Amazon, at Barnes & Noble, or you can order it through your local bookstore.

This brought to mind a conversation I had a few years ago with my nephew, Jim, a border-line Baby Boomer and his husband, Rich, a GenXer. Rich was telling us, “We recently watched the movie All the Way about Lyndon Baines Johnson.”  Huh, I thought.  Who refers to him as Lyndon Baines Johnson?  He’s LBJ, as in the campaign slogan All the way with LBJ. Hence the title of the movie.  “And during the movie,” Rich continued, “Jim asked me: How do you not know this?” Generational differences were clearly at work here.

Every generation brings their own points of reference into the workplace. So, it’s not that unusual to hear comments like How do you not know this? 

Manager’s Tip: How do you better understand and manage generational differences in today’s workplaces? That’s a question included in The Manager’s Answer Book and here’s some of what we have to say.

Take the time to look for the common ground. For example, for younger generations, work is not the main focus of their life and/or their identity. They are more inclined to want to have a life outside of work that is meaningful. So do the older generations, but the younger ones seem to be better at making it happen. In fact, many of the things that the younger workers want—a friendly environment, the ability to use their skills while learning something new, respect, the opportunity to help others, adequate paid time off and flexibility, health and welfare benefits, and the opportunity to do meaningful work—are things older workers wanted, but the difference is they just didn’t know they could ask for them!

Don’t let differences drive a wedge among coworkers.  Bridging the generation gap at work happens by recognizing that we are all at different stages of our lives, and possess different career aspirations and needs.  As with any diversity challenge, figuring out what’s unique brings about greater understanding and a recognition that we have more in common than we realize.  

I recently heard in a writing workshop—writing about emotions—that a significant amount of communication is transmitted through non-verbal means, such as expressions, body language or vocal tones.  So, I went on to research how you describe optimism in a character.  Here’s what I learned.

The character may display a wide grin, make joking observations, or turn away and burst out into laughter. Their speech may be bubbly, their eyes may glow, or their gestures may be animated. An optimistic character may lean in, make strong eye contact and smile a lot. 

Why is observing behavior and emotions important? Alan Alda talks about listening with eyes, ears, and feelings—or emotions—in his book, If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? This observation helps you relate to other people and better understand them.  

I got to test this out recently while talking with people about workplace issues.  Reading their non-verbal cues proved to be just as important as asking questions and listening to responses. Was there a disconnect between what the words they were saying and what their expressions and body language were telling me?  In one case, yes there was, which led me to explore some facts further.

On page 127 of The Manager’s Answer Book, we explain that nonverbal communication is an indicator of the effect you are having on others and whether your message is being heard and understood. More importantly it allows you to observe other people’s emotions and emotional state and to be comfortable. When you are comfortable with one another, you are able to relate to that person and track their ability to follow you. The result is that you are in sync with each other—you are communicating.

Friday, September 13, is Positive Thinking Day—a day to celebrate optimism. Show your optimism—smile, laugh, be bubbly and glow. Let those around you be comfortable so it’s easy to relate to each other. It’s a great way to build positive and respectful workplace relationships.

Here are some of our favorites, authors whom we’ve had the pleasure of hearing and in some cases meeting.

• David McCullough. We’ve heard him speak several times and one year ventured to the Library of Congress National Book Festival on the National Mall in Washington, DC. Even though it was a hot, humid day, it was a pleasure to meet him at the book signing. We both read his latest book, The Pioneers, and it’s excellent.
• David Baldacci. We heard him speak at a writer’s conference in New York City.  Who knew he was so funny and such an entertaining speaker.  His latest book is One Good Deed.
• Harlan Corbin.  When we heard him speak, we were relieved to learn that even very successful authors do multiple (pick a number) edits.  Good. It isn’t just us.  His most recent book is Run Away.
• Richard Russo.  He shared with the writers in the audience the idea they could  finish one book and then start the next book the following day. What a challenge.  Some of his books that are our favorites are The 2002 Pulitzer Prize-winning Empire Falls and his latest book, The Destiny Thief.
• Hallie Ephron. Yes, Nora Ephron was her sister.  Hallie taught us that when it comes to backstory, you layer it in. If you’re not familiar with her work, pick up a copy of Careful What You Wish For.

Since we write business books, we read those as well. Some we suggest are:

• Seven Habits of Highly Effective People - Steven Covey
• First, Break all the Rules - Marcus Buckingham
• Good to Great - Jim Collins
• Lean In - Sheryl Sandberg
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking - Susan Cain
• Outliers - Malcolm Gladwell
• The Essays of Warren Buffett - Warren Buffett and Lawrence A. Cunningham
• Emotional Intelligence - Daniel Goleman 
• A Curious Mind - Brian Grazer and Charles Fishman

Take some time this Friday to pick up a book.  Explore some good reads for the upcoming months.  And as you’re on that journey, we hope you’ll include one or more of our books.

I haven’t had a chance to read the book, yet, but my interest was certainly piqued by Carr’s review. The labor movement’s history includes many iconic events and people, such as

• The Triangle Shirtwaist Company fire;
• Frances Perkins, Franklin Roosevelt’s Secretary of Labor, who backed the most labor-friendly portions of the New Deal—social security, unemployment benefits, minimum-wage and overtime laws, and federal laws regulating child labor; 
• Mary Harris (Mother) Jones, an organizer of the United Mine Workers; 
• Walter Reuther’s negotiation of the 1950 automakers’ agreement, the “Treaty of Detroit” that expanded provisions for pensions and health care nationally; and
• The failed air-traffic controllers strike of 1981.

Greenhouse discusses many of the above and more. I was intrigued by the complexities confronting unions in today’s economy. The review talked about the following examples Greenhouse provided.

The Fight for $15, which was a broad-based campaign backed by the Service Employees International Union to raise the minimum wage for fast-food workers and allow them to unionize. It resulted in city and state officials raising the minimum wage, but not in unionizing workers.

Changes in the corporate environment and it’s swing from managerial capitalism to investor capitalism which has had a profound effect on workers and unions.  As corporations are pressured to focus on maximizing profits and share price, workers must focus on pushing for campaign finance laws to hep labor-friendly politicians get elected, as one example. Unions, on the other hand, can no longer rely on the old model of savvy organizer underdogs going up against CEO Goliaths.

The history of the labor movement is an important part of human resources and management history. Before organizations had HR professionals to ensure that employees were treated with fairness and respect, it was the unions that fought for workers’ rights.  As we prepare to celebrate Labor Day, remember we are celebrating the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country. 

I really enjoyed returning to a place where I’d spent many happy years, but I must admit that I was constantly saying things like, “That wasn’t here when I lived here” or “This looks just the same as it did years ago.”

The best part of the weekend was reconnecting with friends and colleagues. Social media allows us to stay connected with people we don’t see often, but there is nothing like actually being together to re-kindle friendships and relationships.

While most of my time was spent with good friends, I also met new people along the way. Hearing their stories added a lot to my experience. I now have new friends with whom I can stay in contact, people I hope to see again soon. We’ll stay in touch on social media, and I will keep track of their travels and other life events of interest. I will look forward to seeing how the kids and grandkids grow while building new friendships that will hopefully last a lifetime.

This walk down memory lane reminded me of a song I learned in Girl Scouts and many of you probably know it too. Lucky for you I am only giving you the words and not including me singing the song. So here it is:

“Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver but the other gold.”

I’m challenging you to consider if you have friends you haven’t connected with in a while.  If so, do it today. You don’t have to fly across the country to connect—a phone call or a Facetime chat will work as well!  Just don’t let too much time go by without connecting! Don’t, however, get so hung up on old friends that you miss out on meeting new people and forming new friendships.  Remember, “one is silver but the other gold.”

Wrong. Diversity is so much more than simply race and gender. And as a side note, Hispanic is an ethnic group, not a race. 

There’s been much political discourse recently about our differences—specifically differences in race, national origin and religion. Much of this discourse has been divisive, and divisiveness is destructive and unnecessary. It’s one of the underlying causes of conflict. 

Why can’t everyone be like me? Is that a political rally cry? Far from it. It’s a chapter in one of our books—The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. In that chapter we discuss:

• Changing demographics
• Dimensions of diversity
• Differences matter
• Stereotypes, socialization and assumptions

More importantly, the chapter explores the importance of learning about each other—in the workplace and in life. We discuss how to start conversations with people in order to learn more about them—how to be curious in a respectful manner.  Doing so may require exposing some of your own vulnerability, but it’s a great way to build trust among colleagues, team members, and others.

Eric Swalwell, Congressman from California, recently said something that, among a great deal of political noise, makes a great deal of sense. “America is not just the places you like or look like you. It’s the places you’ve never seen and the people you’ve never met.”  

Placing labels, assigning stereotypes and making assumptions about other people is easy to do. Engaging in respectful curiosity is much harder. Take the courage and initiative to learn more about, appreciate and respect the people with whom you work and with whom you interact. In exchange for doing so, you will gain so much insight about other people and your life will be enriched.

Now you know how difficult it is to coordinate a call among three people. Here’s what happened next:  After numerous emails among the three, a call was finally arranged with Billy, the business developer who’d sent the inquiry. The next day, Billy sent an email advising that the call would be with Justin, the founder, because Justin took all new business development calls. Strange, but okay thought the partners.  Justin tried to join a call on Tuesday, but the call was scheduled for Friday because Tuesday didn’t work for the partners. Justin wasn’t available on Friday, the day arranged by Billy.  Confused yet? They sure were. They asked Justin to provide available days and times for a call.  He took two weeks to respond.  

There’s an old saying — too many cooks spoil the broth. Justin sure spoiled a potential business opportunity for his firm for a number of reasons:

• Lack of clear communication — when would the call take place,
• Lack of clear expectations — with whom would the call take place; and
• Lack of trust, at least that’s what the partners perceived — didn’t he trust Billy to take an initial call with potential clients?

At this point, the partners had pretty much written off Justin and his firm. They were questioning if things were this difficult to get a simple call arranged, what would they encounter if they proceeded with a business arrangement? Simply stated, Justin hadn’t inspired confidence in himself or his firm.

Confidence, like trust, isn’t an event. It’s a process. Confidence and trust are something you build over time — with your employees, with your clients and customers and with your stakeholders.  Set expectations in the beginning of the business relationship and reinforce them. Have clear processes and communicate those processes early to everyone affected by them. You want your employees and your customers to be emotionally engaged in a positive way.  The emotional engagement the partners in this story experienced was confusion.  Justin’s going to have to work hard to change that.

When the conference attendees returned to their session, our new best friend remained behind, once again engaging us in a conversation. “You know what you should do?” she said before proceeding to give us unsolicited advice about book marketing — this from someone who never wrote nor marketed a book.  You Know What You Should Do has become a standard joke between Barbara and me. But kidding aside, we are both always sensitive to offering advice to others — solicited or unsolicited.  And when we do, we frame it in positive terms and phrases: “You might consider” or “Have you ever thought of..” or “Something that might work is...”

I heard an interesting quote recently that says it all and has such wide application today — in business and in politics. “The world is changed by your example not by your opinion,” Paul Coelho. People are so quick to voice their opinions without stopping to think if anyone is interested, if they are relevant or if they add value.

Managers can take a valuable lesson from this and apply it to their interactions with team members and others in their organization. Remember that in your role as a manager, all eyes are on you. How you present yourself, how you communicate, how you act, all reflect on the type of leader and person you are — and you will want to reflect on those traits that project confidence, credibility and integrity.

For more insights on leading by example, you know what you should do?  Check out Section 4 of The Manager’s Answer Book. Seriously, if you don’t already have a copy, we’d be so honored and thankful if you’d pick one up.  And if you do have the book, we’re confident that you’ll find thought provoking ideas in that section and others.

She’s absolutely right – as if I’d ever disagree with someone as talented as Ms. Angelou.

When it comes to business, don’t we want our employees to be as creative as possible—unless their job requires they a task that is highly specific—like a surgeon.  Not sure I want my surgeon being too innovative while removing my appendix!

So, if creativity is to be encouraged, let’s talk specifics about how managers can maximize the creativity their employees possess.

To get started, managers should let employees know that they are open to hearing them and genuinely seeking new ideas and approaches. And if your team brings new ideas to you, listen and withhold judgment before you agree or shoot the new idea down.

We’ve talked before in this blog about avoiding phrases like, “No, that won’t work here” or “But we’ve always done it this way” or “We tried that in 2000 and it failed miserably.”   Nothing will shut down creativity like being told what you’re proposing is a bad idea.

Encourage your employees to take a step back from the routine work and imagine how it could be better. It is so easy to get caught up in just getting things done and not consider how something might be improved.

Try reserving one staff meeting a month to hold a classic brainstorming session. Start by setting ground rules that should include things like:

• Be specific about the topic you want ideas about. Let people know ahead of time so they can come with their thoughts and ideas
• Get as many ideas out before you analyze each one
• Don’t criticize someone’s idea
• Get everyone involved.  Don’t let one or two people dominate the session.  Encourage your introverts to participate
• Make it fun. Play music. Use colored markers and sticky notes.  Liven things up

Odds are if you encourage creativity you will get it from your team and remember the words of Maya Angelou, “The more you use, the more you have.”

Why? Because people love to hear stories and people connect to stories. Stories are interesting. Stories can be emotional. Stories can be humorous.  Stories are easy to remember and easy to repeat! 

Our friend and colleague, Sally Strackbein, (www.definingstories.com) says it best: “Facts bore. Stories score.”

Wherever you are called upon to present, if you can tell stories, your odds of being heard and remembered go up exponentially. 

I remember being at a client’s office just after a new CEO had been introduced at a town hall meeting.  People couldn’t wait to share how excited they were about what he was bringing to the organization. They repeated stories they’d heard from him. Some were funny and personal, while others told them about his values. One story he shared was about something he’d been part of that hadn’t been a success.

They loved hearing him honestly share that he didn’t think he was perfect and that he wasn’t going to expect perfection from them.  

 Here’s the best part — everyone has stories! Keep yours short and simple and practice before going public with your story. Odds are, you will begin to see the impact you’re having on your team or others in the organization.

Your story needs to be jargon-free and relevant to the topic — don’t be that person who tells a story that gets the group off target! Your story should have a beginning, middle, and end.  And, if you possibly can, include something in the story that your audience won’t be expecting.  If appropriate, use emotion — that’s where your story will have the greatest impact.

And speaking of stories, we told you last month that we’re working on a new book that will be released during 2020. It is a very different type of book from our usual business books. It’s based on stories we collected from business colleagues around the world. So, we’re committed to the power of telling stories, and as the months go by, we’ll be sharing more about what’s to come next year.

In the meantime, we hope you’ll incorporate some powerful stories of your own into your work!

Along with freedoms and rights comes responsibility.  These freedoms exist to the extent that they don’t trample the rights of others. Freedoms have to be exercised responsibly. For example, a person can’t run into a building and yell FIRE when there is none and claim to be exercising his freedom of speech. 

A rather disgruntled employee once asked me during a sexual harassment workshop, “What about my freedom of speech?”  It’s the government that can’t make laws prohibiting the free exercise of speech, not your employer. Private employers can implement policies and curtail behavior to assure that their workplaces are respectful ones. We’ve come across some great stories that reflect this – stories we’ve included in our next book.

As you celebrate Independence Day this Thursday, reflect on our freedoms and the responsibilities that go along with them.  Cherish your freedoms and respect the freedoms of others.  

The New Mexico Gay Men’s Chorus was performing its annual Pride Concert, and the theme this year, 2019, was a celebration of Stonewall and the summer of ‘69. Interspersed with the songs was a narrator telling the history of Greenwich Village as a haven for the LGBTQ community and the events leading up to the Stonewall Riots which began with a raid on the Stonewall Inn on June 27, 1969 and sparked an avalanche of anger. For the LGBTQ community, it was their Rosa Parks moment – the start Gay Power and Gay Pride.

Stonewall’s legacy is resistance against repression. Read more about Stonewall on the History Channel’s website, History.com at https://www.history.com/news/stonewall-riots-timeline

The songs in the program captured the music of that summer, but also the spirit of the dawn of the Gay Liberation movement. How many of these songs do you remember: Cherish, You’ve Made Me So Very Happy, The Impossible Dream, Time of the Season, and Aquarius — just to name a few.  They ended with a poignant rendition of He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother before getting the audience on their feet for a rousing encore of Everyday People.

June is a month of celebrations. Celebrate Summer, Celebrate the Arts, Celebrate Equality, Celebrate Human Rights & Dignity. Let The Sunshine In.

When I heard a news clip on the radio about the #KuToo movement, a play on the words for shoes and agony, I thought of something I read in a career advice column earlier in the year.

The advice seeker wrote that her company requires professional office attire and for women that means high heels. She’d been diagnosed with back pain and told by her doctor to wear flats.  Her boss called her out for wearing casual shoes. She wanted to know if the boss could dictate what she wore.

Well, both columnists who responded totally missed the mark. She talked about employment-at-will, securing doctors notes and eliciting advice from the boss. He did an on-line search of women’s shoes where he found 25 types of women’s heels, and talked about a shopping trip with his wife for women’s shoes.

While Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 doesn’t specify manner of dress as a protection, there are state and local non-discrimination laws that do. And without checking with an employment attorney, I’d venture an opinion that requiring women to where a certain style of shoes, while not making the same demands on men, is likely sex discrimination under Title VII – or close to it.

The advice seeker didn’t elaborate on the nature of her back pain, but its root cause could be covered by the Americans with Disability Act.  Her employer could be flirting with yet another claim of discrimination.

Dress codes are tricky. Indeed, we struggled with how to talk about “questionable” workplace dress in our next book about the dynamics of workplace behavior.  Yes, employers should have the expectation their team members – male and female – will dress in a manner that’s professional, acceptable and appropriate for the organization’s business. In certain occupations, those that are safety related for example, requirements for certain manner of dress, including shoes, is certainly reasonable.  But mandating that high heels is the only acceptable foot ware for women, is not.

In The Manager’s Answer Book, we talk about recognizing other legal pitfalls in Section 7. We’d be delighted if you’d purchase a copy and check it out. https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz

Graduations.  They occur at the end of an academic phase — the end of high school or college, for example — with a commencement ceremony. A commencement is a beginning or start of something new. So, graduations are about ending one phase and starting a new one. 

We are in a commencement phase ourselves. Since 2011, we’ve been writing and publishing nonfiction business books of a prescriptive nature. Now, however, we’re on the cusp of a new chapter — writing and publishing in a new genre — narrative nonfiction. Narrative nonfiction is like a novel. It tells a story or stories.

We've been on a journey writing this narrative nonfiction book. Recognizing there are many stories to tell about the dynamics of workplace behavior, we set out to gather them from our colleagues. Since we wanted to write a compelling and enticing book, we took many storytelling liberties. The stories we heard were molded, tweaked, and often combined with others to fit the structure of the scenes we created throughout this book.

In order to preserve the privacy and identity of the individuals and organizations involved, we created a fictitious company and cast of characters as a backdrop against which we tell these tales. The characters portrayed are composites of a large number of professionals across a wide variety of industries and throughout multiple careers. 

Weddings. They represent commitments. A couple on a journey is looking forward and making commitments to each other about the future.  Our idea for this work of narrative nonfiction formed in 2011 as we concluded writing The Big Book of HR. Along the journey — gathering stories, countless drafts, rewrites, and edits — we were interrupted with requests from our publisher to write three more books. Then there were other life events that stalled us. 

Now we are rocking it. This year alone the manuscript has been in the hands of four HR colleagues for peer review and now it’s been turned over to three beta readers for their critique.  Once we get all this feedback, more rewrites will be done. Then we can move onward to get the book to market.

We know there’s still a great deal more to do — cover design, editing, formatting — but we’re on a solid path to the next stop on our journey. Publication and book launch are planned for 2020. 

Many of our readers have been along on this journey with us.  Now, we invite all of you to keep up with our progress and hold us to our commitment. We’ll be sharing more information in our weekly blog — makingpeoplematter.blogspot.com — and in this monthly newsletter, so please be on the lookout for them. 

Barbara and Cornelia

I was stunned at his choice of words.  He must have thought he was being helpful, but he made me feel I’d done something wrong.  I certainly didn’t feel welcomed.

I politely explained that this was my first time in this building and I was a bit unsure of where I was to go. What I really wanted to say was no, I didn’t have a problem, but you certainly do.

It would have made such a difference to me if he’d said something like, “Can I help you find where you’re going” or “The building directory is to your left.”

Sure, we all have bad days when we say or do something that is out of character. Maybe on another day, this man would have welcomed me and been helpful rather than treating me like I was a problem he’d have to fix. However, I may not ever go to that building again and he’ll never have a chance for a do-over.

There was an old Head and Shoulders commercial that said, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” How true that has turned out to be. We all need to be aware of what we say and how we say it so that the person we are interacting with, is left with a positive impression – even if the interaction is as short term as the guard in the example above. 

How about when you go for a job interview? What about your first meeting with a prospective client? Do you think about what you plan to say and how you plan to say it before your meet? If not, you may want to run your opening through your brain or practice it out loud a couple of times so the first impression you make is a positive one.

Now, don’t get me started about the habit so many people have of saying, “No problem” instead of “you’re welcome” when they are thanked!  I want to respond – “I know I wasn’t a problem” but I stop myself.  Yet, it is tempting!

It’s not surprising to learn employees surveyed are looking for organizations where they have confidence in the firm’s direction.  Even in a time of low unemployment, this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Said in a slightly different way, employees want transparency from their leaders.

The Post’s survey also showed that employees want to work for an organization with high ethics and where the organization’s values are lived. Most well managed organizations publish their values, but some have trouble living up to or demonstrating them. This is not what today’s workers are looking for in an employer.

The result that did surprise me is that 67% of the respondents said they value working in a place were different points of view are encouraged. This is great news. People want to work where there is diversity of thought.

High on the list of things people value is having a good manager. The adage that “people don’t leave organizations—they leave managers” reinforces what the respondents said in this survey. Strong managers who set clear expectations and hold people accountable tend to be the kind of managers people want to work with.

Manager’s Tips:  If holding employees accountable is a struggle for you, The Manager’s Answer Book addresses this issue and here is a portion of the answer:

Managers should hold their people accountable for their work but before you can do that, clear expectations must be set. One of your most important roles as a manager is letting your team know what is expected of each of them. If they are new to our organization or your team, if you’re starting a new project, or if you are asking for something you’ve never asked of them before, they need you to be clear on issues such as:

• When is the task/project due?
• What are the key deliverables?
• Are there milestones for check in?
• What will success look like at the conclusion of the project
• How will my performance be measured?

See page 76 of The Manager’s Answer Book for more information on setting expectations and holding employees accountable.

As you work to improve your managerial skills, keep in mind what people value from work and if you don’t already do so, maybe you want to ask your own team what’s important to them.  You may learn valuable information that will help you engage and retain your staff.

Language is powerful and we talk about this in The Manager's Answer Book. On page 123, this question is posed: Knowing that words matter, do you have any guidelines on using the correct words and language to avoid offending anyone?  

Manager’s tip:  Part of the answer we offer:  Language is symbolic, meaning there is an arbitrary connection between the symbols (words and phrases) and what they refer to. Stated another way, different words and phrases can have different meanings to other people, depending on their perspectives and experiences. In today’s diverse workplaces, communication can be complex and challenging!  Paying attention to what you say and how you say it is an excelled way to build positive relationships at work. 

Remember to use neutral words, be wary of slang and jargon, and don't use labels when referring to other people. 

For example, recently he posted this -- “There are no points for being busy -- busy is not the point.”

This really resonated with me!  I frequently tell people that I don’t just like to be busy. I like to be “crazy busy”.  But as I reflect on my own life, I think I am guilty of thinking being busy in and of itself is a good thing. After reading Seth’s post, I realize I should be refocusing on being productive and being creative. In other words, busy is not the point! 

I know I do this a lot -- I stay busy doing something that I enjoy doing rather than starting a project that I’m not as interested in or just don’t want to do.  It’s another example of why being busy is not the point.

The point is how productive you are – that is, working on things that need to be accomplished.    We all probably know people who are good at looking busy but who are really playing video games on line or shopping on QVC!  Appearing to be busy is also not the point.

If you’ve ever taken a time management class or read a book on how to maximize your time, you probably heard that we all have the very same number of hours in a day or a week to use and there isn’t a thing we can do to gain more hours.  We can only learn how to better use the time available!

I want to be clear -- this is not a blog about time management -- it’s about time maximizing! If you want to maximize your time, consider these two questions:

• How can I make sure I’m not just doing stuff to show activity or avoiding doing something else?  
• How can I use my time to do the things that matter?

Here’s the big lesson for me (and I hope for you) about thinking busy is the point -- learning to say no can make all the difference in the world! When I first started consulting, I said yes to anything anyone asked me to do because I thought if I said no, they’d never ask me again.  I quickly learned that was very faulty thinking, but I don’t think I’ve truly learned how important it is to be comfortable in saying no when what is being asked doesn’t fit into my long-term goals.

Being clear about those goals really makes a difference when you’re asked to take on a new task or responsibility. If it will move your forward, say yes! Consider that saying no allows you to build in time so that if something comes up that you want or need to do, you can say yes!

Many times, what matters isn’t work -- it’s spending time with family or volunteering at a soup kitchen or even having fun.  But if we are so hung up on being busy, we probably are missing out on some things that are a lot more significant in our lives.

Don’t, as Seth Godin says, “be busy being busy, instead of doing what’s important.” 

Barbara Mitchell

Then, seemingly without warning, one of your employees isn’t getting along with the others on the team.  There is a line outside your door of unhappy employees who yesterday were quite satisfied with their working situation, but today are ready to bail on you and your organization.

Your first inclination is probably to shut your office door and hide but, tempting as that may be, you need a plan. The Manager’s Answer Book covers this topic with a question/answer discussion that walks you through a process of how to take corrective action that starts with counseling the employee using these steps:

1. “Point out the differences between what the employee is presently doing and what they should be doing.
2. Describe in specific terms the negative impact the employee’s behavior is having on them, others, and the organization.
3. Give the employee the opportunity to explain. There could be extenuating circumstances. However, don’t get caught up in defensive excuses.”

To get the rest of the steps to take, see page 60 of The Manager’s Answer Book which is available from Amazon, Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookseller.

Question:  We’ve been talking about a well-managed conflict. What about avoiding bad conflict?

Cornelia:  The most important thing to do to avoid conflict is to set expectations early – with employees, associates, and any other business partner.  Make sure the roles and responsibilities are clearly defined. With employees, make sure they know at the beginning of the employment relationship – this is what their job looks like and this is what you expect them to do to meet the responsibilities of their position. If you’re bringing in outside support, make sure everything they are expected to do is outlined and well defined.  

Question:  Should you have an agreement of some sort in writing.

Barbara: That goes to expectations. I like to have a conversation first and then put it in writing – you confirm what you talked about. For example, “As we agreed, this is what I’m going to do and this is what you’re going to do and this is our timeline.” You have clarity and can hold each other accountable. You’re not being legalistic, but if I’ve committed to something and I’m not going to get it done in time, I need to let the other person know – something’s happened – let’s renegotiate those deadlines.  If you have your expectations in writing you have something to refer to, especially if things are not going well.  You can point to it and say, “You agreed to do this and you’re not holding up your end of the bargain.”

Cornelia:  I heard someone once say that she had gone through a contentious divorce and that you don’t think about setting a contract before you get married.  She was referring to working things out – who hadn’t kept up their part of the bargain.  She brought the concept into her business dealings, especially working with teams – insisting on setting ground rules and guidelines.  That’s what we’re talking about.  If you have guidelines or rules of engagement written down everyone can commit to them.

Question:  When it comes to addressing conflict, what do you see as some of the mistakes or common mistakes that people make?

Barbara: I think people often have trouble just articulating that this isn’t going well without getting emotional.  If you can keep emotions out of it and simply say, “This is what we agreed to and it’s not going the way we thought it was going to and we need to fix it,” you can address what’s wrong.  Another mistake is letting things go to long thinking it’ll get better – “I’ll give it another week.” Well, by a week later things could have exploded and it’s too late.  Catch things early, be aware of your emotions, and remind yourself this is business and we’ll deal with this in a business way and hopefully maintain a positive relationship.

Cornelia:  People sometimes become overly concerned about the relationship – wanting to avoid hurting someone’s feelings if they say something or do something. You can deliver a negative message in a positive way without it getting personal. Go back to the facts of what happened – keep it as a factual, business issue.

Question: You’ve written two books on conflict resolution. Can you share tips with managers and business owners on handling conflict within their businesses whether it’s with their employees or other business associates? 

Barbara: We discuss the positive nature of conflict in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. Conflict, if managed appropriately, can be a very creative process. It can bring ideas into the organization and get people thinking in different ways. You don’t always want to avoid conflict, unless it becomes destructive to the organization.  Well-managed conflict can be very positive in moving relationships and the organization along.

Question: What’s a way a well-managed conflict can move a relationship along?

Barbara: The key is listening to each other. Listening gets totally overlooked. People are prone to want to keep talking and get their ideas out. A well-managed conflict occurs when people put varying ideas out and the others listens without judgment and without trying to respond as quickly as possible. If you really listen to each other it may occur to you, “You know I never thought of it that way.” That revelation can then spark a very good discussion that may end up taking you and the situation in a totally different direction.  That’s one of the keys to maintaining good relationships. If you stop and say I’m going to hear what he or she is say and then use it without getting defensive or argumentative or judgmental, you can have some pretty amazing results. 

Question: How can we create an environment where people know that a well-managed conflict is something that’s encouraged.

Cornelia: Let your employees and business partners know you brought them into the relationship because you valued and want to hear their ideas. And show you really mean it.  In meetings, for example, say, “This is the idea we have,” and open the floor to other people who might offer a differing point of view or idea.  Then listen to what everyone else is saying – and give everybody the opportunity to state their opinions. 

Once all the ideas have been heard, start determining which are doable.  If you don’t think an idea is doable not right now, then let the person know, “It’s a good ideas but it’s going to take some resources we don’t have, so let’s table that for the future.” If you’re not able to act at all, let them know why. Opening the discussion to everybody and being able to implement some ideas will create an environment where people understand it’s fine to state your ideas. If it’s not going to work either now or in the future, people know they’ve been listened too and not shut down. When we talk about positive conflict people think it’s a contradiction, but positive conflict is recognizing that we all come to a decision or idea from a different point of view based on our background and experience. Everyone is open to other creative ideas. You may end up with a much better solution. 

Check back next week to read more excerpts from this discussion. 

“I agree,” I said.  “He shouldn’t have asked you to take the meeting notes. Did you ask him why someone from his own staff didn’t take them?”

“No,” she answered. “He said since I’m good with a computer, I’d be a good note taker. It was a complete waste of my day – and now I’m behind on a project. Doesn’t he know it’s not what I’m paid to do?”

Courtney was a co-worker, although we worked in different departments.  She was a talented and creative professional who was hired to work on strategic initiatives.  She’d made highly innovative changes to processes and work flows.  I agreed it was a waste of her time and corporate resources to be taking meeting notes. 

“His comment doesn’t make any sense. Did you say anything to your boss about it?”

“I told Howie right after Jake asked me to take notes, but you know everyone’s afraid to speak up to him because he’s so tight with our vice president. Howie doesn’t want to rock the boat.”

Just then Howie walked in. “Did you ask her yet?” he said.

I turned to him. “Ask me what?” 

They both were looking at me sheepishly. “Well,” said Courtney, “We thought that since Jake listens to you, you could say something – tell him how inappropriate his request was.” 

“I don’t have a stake in this disagreement,” I responded. “One of you needs to talk to him and tell him why he was out of line to ask Courtney and not his own staff member to take the meeting notes.” 

What to do when someone tries to pull you into their conflict? Be flattered because they think you have influence? No.  In this case, Courtney and Howie both needed to learn to confront their own conflicts and find their own words to do it. 

Have you or your team members ever had problems disengaging from someone else’s conflict? Have you ever been reluctant to speak up or unable to find the right words?  We have a resource to help: The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book, which you can find on Amazon at https://tinyurl.com/ycktzyz9. It’s filled with phrases that can help you find your own words. And you may want to share copies with your team. What better time to sharpen your conflict management skills than in April – Workplace Conflict Awareness Month.  After you’ve read it, we’d be grateful and honored if you’d write a review on Amazon.  After all, workplace conflict occurs all year long – not just in April.

This happened to me recently and it reminded me what a critical skill listening is and how few of us really are good at it.  Think about all the time you spent in school learning how to read and write—but, did you ever have a class in how to listen?  Probably not, and I think that’s a mistake!

We think it is such an important skill that we devoted an entire chapter in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, to listening. Here’s an excerpt from that chapter, “Listen Up!”

“Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk, but it appears that is how most of us listen—while the other person is talking, all we’re doing is thinking about what we are going to say next—and, because we aren’t hearing what is being said, the odds are that our response doesn’t move the communication process forward.

Listening well is essential for workplace success. The US Department of Labor estimates that of the total time we spend in communication, 22 percent is devoted to reading and writing, 23 percent is devoted to speaking and—55 percent is to listening.”

You can become a better listener if you try using an effective technique—active listening. Try the following to improve your skills:

• Listen to learn—be interested in what the other person is saying and show it.
• Seek understanding—listen to the words and ask questions to clarify what you hear.
• Pay attention to non-verbal cues—watch body language and tone of voice.

We offer a lot more about listening in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook which is available on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/y8qy4msz, at Barnes & Noble, or at your local bookstore. Celebrate Workplace Conflict Awareness Month this April by improving your listening skills. 

This happened to me recently and it reminded me what a critical skill listening is and how few of us really are good at it.  Think about all the time you spent in school learning how to read and write—but, did you ever have a class in how to listen?  Probably not, and I think that’s a mistake!

We think it is such an important skill that we devoted an entire chapter in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, to listening. Here’s an excerpt from that chapter, “Listen Up!”

“Listening is not waiting for your turn to talk, but it appears that is how most of us listen—while the other person is talking, all we’re doing is thinking about what we are going to say next—and, because we aren’t hearing what is being said, the odds are that our response doesn’t move the communication process forward.

Listening well is essential for workplace success. The US Department of Labor estimates that of the total time we spend in communication, 22 percent is devoted to reading and writing, 23 percent is devoted to speaking and—55 percent is to listening.”

You can become a better listener if you try using an effective technique—active listening. Try the following to improve your skills:

• Listen to learn—be interested in what the other person is saying and show it.
• Seek understanding—listen to the words and ask questions to clarify what you hear.
• Pay attention to non-verbal cues—watch body language and tone of voice.

We offer a lot more about listening in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook which is available on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/y8qy4msz, at Barnes & Noble, or at your local bookstore. Celebrate Workplace Conflict Awareness Month this April by improving your listening skills. 

Setting boundaries at work is more important than ever as workplaces have become relaxed and informal. In fact, we think that boundaries are so important, we talked about them in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook on page 176. Boundaries define limits -- where you end and the other person begins. They help to define and manage interpersonal relationships. Often times you can be dealing with a socially inept friend or coworker, but other times the offending individual may be crossing boundaries very deliberately. Either way, the behavior needs to be addressed. 

You may, like the writer seeking Hax’s advice, struggle with what to say when your boundaries are invaded. That's where The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book can help. On page 126 there are examples of things that you can say to send the right message. 

What about interrupting? Is it ever acceptable?  Of course there are, especially if you must get a word in edgewise. There will be times when you need to get a conversation back on track. Other times you need to ask for clarity. In either situation, interruptions should be delivered with grace and dignity. 

April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month. We've collected some of the blogs we've written about conflict and incorporated them into an e-book, Managing Conflict at Work. You can download it from our website www.essentialworkplaceconflicthandbook.com. 

This traditional Indian greeting is a gesture of respect, and respect is at the core of understanding diversity. Each of us possesses many unique characteristics that are often described as dimensions of diversity. They include obvious characteristics such as age, ethnicity, sex, mental or physical abilities, and race.  They also include other, not so obvious characteristics, such as education, military experience, religious beliefs, work experience, work and communication styles and, yes those special talents and gifts that we all possess.

At a time when we are experiencing so much divisiveness in our society, wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all take the time to heed Kevin Hall’s advice and incorporate it into our daily routine. It may not be realistic to stop and say it out loud to everyone you pass - but take the time to mentally honor the uniqueness and special gifts of others, especially people who appear to be different from you. Listen to colleagues in meetings. Hear what they have to say. Don’t make assumptions about people around you. 

We’ve gathered a number of blogs we’ve written over the years into a new e-booklet entitled “Diversity & Discrimination”. You can find it at www.bigbookofhr.com. Feel free to download a copy. 

Namaste. 

I immediately went to the file room to retrieve her file. This was before things were digital—we dealt with paper and hard copies. Strange, I thought. A copy of the memo, allegedly written two months earlier, wasn’t in her file. I looked at the basket of papers next to the file cabinet.  In it were papers waiting to be filed. It wasn’t that full—I looked through it—no memo.

I stuck my head out the door and summoned Cary, my assistant. “Are there any other papers, anywhere in the department, to be filed?”  He shook his head. “No ma’am. That’s it,” he said gesturing to the basket in my hand. 

“Okay, then.  And by the way,” I said setting the basket down and picking up the file, “I’ll have Trina Black’s file locked in my office overnight. 

When I met with Brett next morning I explained I had thoroughly searched but had not located a copy of the memo in the employee file. I was bracing for his reaction and not expecting the response I received. He sheepishly glanced down and said, “I know.”

“So if I understand correctly, Brett, this memo—a final warning—was written recently, even though it’s dated two months ago, and Trina never received it.”  He nodded yes. “You realize,” I continued, “we can’t act on this false document and terminate her at this time.”  Once again, he nodded yes. 

When I confronted Brett about the missing memo that morning I was expecting a conflict would result.  I imagined him arguing that we’d lost the memo, and that Trina was incompetent and had to be fired. Instead, confronted with facts—facts he couldn’t refute—he had no option but to agree with me. The lack of the memo being sent contemporaneously to the employee’s file implied that Brett had not followed protocol nor warned Trina, not giving her an opportunity to change. He ultimately admitted that to me.  

Workplace issues—differing opinions, poor employee behavior or performance—can quickly lead to conflict.  When you get to the underlying facts, conflicts or problems can be avoided or solved. Fact-finding is critical to problem solving and conflict.  We devoted a chapter to it, “What’s the Problem?” in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook. 

April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month—a good time to refresh and share your conflict management skills. And what better way to do that than to share copies of The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook with your team.  You can find it on Amazon https://tinyurl.com/y8qy4msz. After you’ve read it, could you consider putting an honest review on Amazon?  We’d be grateful and honored.  We also would love to help you spread the word on your podcasts or be interviewed for your blog. 

While it is human nature to want to be liked, sometimes being a successful manager means you need to make unpopular decisions.  You must be the adult in every situation that impacts your staff and your organization.

Managers have a clear role to play. You’ve been tasked with managing a staff in order to accomplish the work to meet your organization’s mission.  Managing people involves giving clear direction and setting expectations.  Frequently, this involves resolving conflicts and having difficult conversations which may not make you win any popularity contests.

If you are hesitating to take needed action because you are afraid your staff won’t like you any more, you really need to consider if you’re cut out to be a manager. Some people aren’t and do much better as individual contributors. But, if you want to succeed as a manager, focus on being the best manager you can even if that means you may not be always beloved by your staff.  

What you really want is your team to respect you as their leader because they know the actions you take are in the best interests of the organization and in the best interest for them as individuals.

Focus your attention on helping your staff members meet their goals. Set reasonable expectations and hold people accountable for their commitment.  This also means you need to keep your commitments so that your team knows they can count on you to support them in achieving their full potential.

If you build their trust, support them in their personal development, and reward them for their accomplishments, they will, most likely, respect you.  And, respect is something that you really, really want from your team. If you have their respect, whether they “like” you or not will not matter and you will be successful!

Manager’s Tips:  We address that topic in our latest book—The Manager’s Answer Book.  The question is” This organization moves quickly and priorities shift frequently. This puts a lot of stress on our teams. As a manager, what can I do to mitigate stress for my team?”

Here’s some of the answer:  “I am so glad you recognize that the work environment can be highly stressful to your team—and to you as well. In addition, there’s the reality that your employees are trying to balance work needs with family and life needs. You’re probably not going to be able to change the fast pace of change in your organization, so what can you do?”

• Encourage your employees to take breaks during the day. Even a minute of deep breathing can reduce stress and anxiety.
• Exercise is an important factor in reducing stress. Stretch breaks can work wonders, as can short works outside. Fresh air can be invigorating.
• Be as flexible as possible about time off so that employees can take care of issues in their personal lives. It will give them peace of mind.

For more ideas on how to help your staff deal with stress, see page 84 of The Manager’s Answer Book.

The good news is you know the quality of their work and they know your culture.  They will return having had new experiences and hopefully, new ideas but before you go after former employees, you will want to give this some serious thought and consider:

• How will your current employees react to a former employee returning? 
• How will the returning employee react to perhaps having to report to someone who was a peer (or even a direct report) before they resigned?
• Will you grant them their original hire date for benefits purposes? If yes, is this fair to people who’ve stayed with you?
• How will you bring the returning employees up to speed on changes you’ve made since they left? Caution: they may think everything stayed the same as before.

Re-hiring former good employees might be part of your overall recruiting strategy so you may want to give it a try.  In today’s highly competitive war for talent, you want to be sure you are casting a wide net for new hires. Some other sources might include using social media including 

Twitter and LinkedIn as well as networking and your own career page on your organization’s website.   And we have more information about recruiting former employees on page 62 of The Big Book of HR.  

Don’t overlook a highly cost effective source—a well crafted employee referral program which we will discuss in future blogs.

Here in New Mexico the topography is different than the topography in Virginia.  The first time I lived here I used to say that I’d never seen the horizon on land – just at the beach where the water met the sky.  That probably wasn’t true, but I marveled at how wherever I looked, I could see the sky touching the earth.  This new horizon – or view of it – gave me a different perspective.

Did you ever hear people say that they’re most creative when they are not at work? There’s something about stepping out of your usual routine and environment that allows new ideas to flood our brains.  When you expand your perspective, you expand your horizons as well. 

What do you do to expand your perspective? How do you break free from your routine and environment in order to find your creative self?  Some people crave solitude and serenity, others the bustle of big cities. The fact is, you can find energy and creativity in different places and situations – you just have to expand your perspective!

As leaders in your organization, you recognize that creativity and innovation are critical – whether it’s developing new products or services or just finding improved ways of doing things.  You want nurture that innovative self inside each and every employee. One way you can encourage that is to have tech-free zones within the workplace, or tech-free times such as no emails or texting at certain times, days, over weekends, or on vacation.  Insist that your team members take the time to clear their minds and broaden their individual perspective.  

You can read more about innovation on page 98 of The Manager’s Answer Book.  And remember “What you imagine you create.”

You spend a lot of time and money you spend on hiring great new people. You want them to know they made the right decision to join you and to be productive as quickly as possible.

On-boarding starts as soon as the candidate accepts the job offer.  Continue to communicate with new hires during the time before they start. Send them benefits information so they can make good decisions. Include them on press releases or any other events your organization has—even before they start.  Send important information they need to make their first day an easy one including arrival time on day one, where to park or what commuting options are available, whom to ask for when they arrive, and a schedule of the day’s activities.  

Manager’s Tips:  In our book, The Manager’s Answer Book, we pose the question: “When I was hired, my on-boarding session was focused on administrative issues and it took me a long time to learn about the culture. I want to do a better job for my team.”

Part of the answer is: “Be ready for a new employee’s first day. Have their workspace ready with all of the tools and equipment to do their job. Managers should spend as much time as possible with a new hire on their first. day. Take the new hire to lunch. Share the organization’s history, vision, values, and mission.”

“The on-boarding process doesn’t end on the first day or the first week. Build in checkpoints at 30, 60, and 90 day.”

For lots more great tips on a successful on-boarding process where you make that good first impression you know is important, see page 82 of The Manager’s Answer Book.

1. Know your audience.  Don't say things like "if you'll recall" or "I'm sure you'll remember" when you're talking about events that happened before most audience members were born. 
2. If technology is involved, know how to use it.  For example, know how to advance the slides.
3. If you are using slides, make sure they are engaging for the audience. 

• Use color and a clear, crisp font that's easy and large enough for all audience members to read. 
• Avoid putting too much information on a single slide. 

Manager’s Tips: Barbara and I recognize that presentation skills can be critical for a manager’s success and we discuss it in The Manager’s Answer Book.  These are some of the tips we offer:

• Be clear about your objective.  Is the presentation to inform or is it a call to action?  
• Lay out you key points. Keep it simple so your audience can easily grasp the message. 
• Organize your material so it’s easy for the audience to follow.
• A strong opening will make a big impression, so get right to the point of your presentation stating it clearly at the beginning 
• Know your material and rehearse it as needed so that you can deliver it comfortably. 
• Do a dry run, if possible, to be sure your slides can be read from anywhere in the room. 
• Spend some time in the meeting room beforehand to get a sense of where people will be sitting and the best spot for you to stand. 
• Practice with the technology you will be using so that when you’re ready to speak, you can move right into your presentation.
• Anticipate questions you may get at the end of your presentation.

You can find more information about presentations on page 50 of The Manager's Answer Book. 

1. Family leave. She was talking about a benefit of paid leave beyond maternity or paternity leave – paid leave to care for one’s parents, for example. I was surprised by her statement that “while the Family and Medical Leave Act allows employees to take up to 12 weeks to care for an ailing family member, many employees don’t know about it…” Be sure your practices are compliant with the regulations which require written guidance to employees about their rights under the law.
2. A wage gap between current and new workers. Whenever the labor market is tight, as it is now, there’s the tendency to pay more to recruit new talent causing disparities to grow between new hires and currently joining the organization. This can affect turnover – “I can get more money if I join a new company – and morale issues.
3. Concerns of privacy of personal data.  Expect employees to have raised expectations as threats to privacy of consumer data becomes more heightened. Employers have access to a significant amount of their employee’s data such as social security numbers and bank account information from direct deposits.
4. Changes in office design. Open design has been the rage, but employees’ complaints about noise and lack of concentration is leading to design changes – things like small conference rooms, collaboration areas and barriers around desks.  One of the more interesting concepts she mentions is phone booths or privacy pods for people to have private conversations without taking up an entire meeting room.
5. Email is on the decline. In the area of technology, messaging is becoming the preferred method of internal communications. Texts or other alerts could divert users from traditional emails. 

You can read the full article at: http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2019/01/01/five-workplace-predictions/

We’re not talking here about your followers on Instagram or Twitter – not that we don't understand how critical it is to have lots of followers on social media, especially if you want to promote ideas, products, or services.  Just observe how people brag about how many followers they have online to know followers matter. We’re talking about who is following you as a leader. 

While having followers on social media is important, business leaders are nothing without followers within their organizations, and to be a successful leader you will need more than a few followers. Some organizations don't value being a good follower – they think everyone should aspire to be a leader. But when you look at what makes an organization successful, it is a combination of a strong leader who sets the vision and the people who carry out the vision – in other words, the followers!

Hard as it is for some of us to understand, not everyone wants to be a leader. Some people don't want the responsibility or the visibility that comes from leadership while others may want to gain additional experience before taking on the role of a leader.  Keep in mind that everyone has different abilities, interests, and talents – even followers!

However, being a good follower doesn't mean you always are in the shadow of the leader, and in today's ever changing work environment, someone who is a leader today on a specific project may be a follower on the next challenge  your organization faces. Savvy organizations don't get hung up on titles or hierarchy when putting work teams together – they configure the team to maximize the talents of the members!

Good followers are not people who blindly implement any idea a leader shares. One of their main roles is to help leaders be more effective while remaining true to their own beliefs and values. A good follower asks good questions, carries out assigned work in a timely and accurate manner, and partners with the leader to maximize the success of whatever challenge they have been assigned. Here are some qualities of a good follower:

• Keeps leader informed
• Gives the benefit of the doubt to the leader
• Is honest  with the leader and provides feedback 
• Supports even unpopular decisions
• Trusts the leader 
• Takes initiative to solve problems

In 2019, we hope you'll pay some attention to the followers in your organization. Recognize their contributions and provide opportunities for them to develop their skills and abilities. While some of them may have leadership potential, remember all leaders need followers so don't overlook your very own followers!

Barbara & Cornelia

Manager’s Tip:  Managing up refers to understanding your boss’s position, goals and responsibilities and working to help your manager achieve those goals. Observe your manager and get to know her so you understand her priorities, her communication style, and what she values personally and professionally. Understand the role she sees you taking in the department and then set out to perform your job in the most efficient and effective manner so you can contribute to the department’s success. 

Managing around or across the organization means understanding the organization and how it works – how information flows, what other functions and departments do and how your team can support them  Managing across requires political savvy and this is where curiosity comes in. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and build collaborative relationships outside your own department. Managing across is the ability to influence others, especially the actions of others, when you don’t have any organizational authority over them. Finally, managing around means understanding and honoring the processes and policies that other departments have in place. They exist for a reason.

You can read more in The Manager’s Answer Book. Section Five is devoted to “Managing Up, Down and Around” the organization, and the discussion starts on page 135.  The Manager’s Answer Book, is available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.

I was talking with a small business owner recently.  She told me she’s planning to increase her firm’s involvement in several social media platforms. When I asked her why, she explained that the firm is planning to introduce a new service line sometime during 2019.  It’s still in the development stage and the full implementation may not happen until the third quarter. However, she recognizes that while she has a solid client base that can take advantage of these new services, she wants to extend her reach and attract new organizations as well. Strengthening the firm’s social media presence will establish them as influencers in their industry. So they are going to launch targeted outreach campaigns to get in front of people and organizations with whom they want to engage. 

Listening to her explanation, I realized that she’d given a great deal of thought to her plan. She understood: 

• What was going to change (adding a new service)
• When the change was going to happen (third quarter 2019)
• What she wanted to accomplish (grow her client base)
• How she was going to accomplish it (targeted social media campaigns)

What does this have to do with New Year’s resolutions?  Everything!  Think about why you make them—other than wanting to shed some bad habits, which is a noble intention. As you think about 2019, ask yourself:

• What went well in 2018, and how can I build on that?
• How can it be better?
• What new beginnings or challenges will 2019 bring?
• What could or should change to meet those challenges?
• How will I go about making those changes?

As you prepare for the year ahead, also give some thought to shedding those things that are redundant – like the report that the department has always prepared (no one knows why anymore) but is never read! What about ways of doing things that are no longer effective?  How could you use the time that was spent preparing that report to accomplish something new that will have greater impact?

Put some deliberate thought into the resolutions and changes you want to make in 2019 in both your professional and personal lives. It’s a great time to break some old habits. Don’t be the person who lets life and change happen to you. Take charge, and make life and change happen for you!

We wish you a very happy holiday season and send you all good wishes for a wonderful 2019!

Cornelia & Barbara 

If you want to do something for your staff this December, keep in mind the ideal bonus expresses gratitude, so make it meaningful and appropriate for your particular workforce. While you'll never be able to please everyone, know your workforce and what they value. Cash alone could be welcomed, but some practical suggestions in lieu of or in addition to cash could be:

• Gift cards – one employer gave employees gift cards to a local grocery chain. Other examples could be movie tickets, gas cards, or Amazon/American Express gift cards which can be used to purchase a large variety of items.
• Time off – one employer gave employees an afternoon off for holiday shopping, to take care of other holiday related errands, or to spend however they wish if they don’t celebrate any year-end holidays.

Don’t be afraid to get creative, but it you do, consider varying the nature of the bonus from year to year to keep an element of surprise for the employees. For example, one year give movie tickets, the next a grocery card. This helps you avoid setting a precedent or expectations, especially if cash is involved.

Don’t overlook some of the pitfalls of year-end rewards – this is where knowing your staff is priceless.  Give careful thought to what you do in order to avoid unintended consequences. For example:

• Don’t forget about employees in remote locations.  The employer mentioned above who gave the gift cards to a local grocery chain failed to do anything for employees working in other locations. It created a great deal of ill-will which could have been avoided. 
• Be careful with tangible gifts – people have different tastes and at the year-end holiday season, they could be overwhelmed with an abundance of stuff.
• Don’t give the bonus any holiday label – stress that it’s a year-end bonus. This works especially well if the end of the fiscal year coincides with the end of the calendar year. 

Year-end bonuses can be a powerful way to boost morale and strengthen employee engagement. Let employees know that you are providing this “2018 year-end bonus” because we want our employees to share in the organization’s success. And if you can, let them go home early!

Manager’s Tip:  Depending on your organization, you may be called on to manage a special project or program from time to time. This may involve bringing together a team of people from different departments – people for whom you have no direct authority over – to work on a new initiative. This is where your influencing skills are helpful. You are also responsible for managing resources in your organization. You may have to manage materials if you are manufacturing a product. Most managers have a budget and have to manage financial resources.  If your organization has proprietary assets – information or products – that must be protected you and your staff must follow procedures to keep the intellectual property safe. And you may find yourself managing customers and outside business partners. The key to managing service providers is to set clear expectations and hold them accountable – just as you would your internal partners and employees. Likely there are contracts in place with these providers, so become acquainted with the terms and conditions of those contracts. 

You can read more about managing budgets, projects, and resources in Section 1 of The Manager’s Answer Book starting on page 15. The Manager’s Answer Book is available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.

Metrics differ from analytics. Metrics are the hard numbers – the data that is collected. Analytics is the interpretation of that data and organizations use the analysis of data for several reasons: to evaluate performance against goals or to assess trends, for example. If your organization is using KPIs, they must be relevant to the story you want to tell, the challenge you want to address, or the problem you want to solve. Metrics that are meaningful are those from which you can glean insights for decisions. Measure what's helpful to answer a specific issue.

A good dashboard should be simple to use and easy to understand. It needs to be flexible and should integrate with the organization’s other systems, HRIS or financial systems, for example. Remember that you want to share the information on your dashboard with others, so avoid clutter and anything that's not visually appealing, such as too much color or graphics that are too ornate. Also don't display irrelevant data just for the sake of populating the dashboard. 

Manager’s Tip:  Become familiar with the tools your organization uses to measure effectiveness and efficiency. You can read more about measurements and analytics on page 29 of The Manager’s Answer Book.

Before venturing over to the store that day in August, we called ahead to make sure he’d be there. We wanted to personally present him with a copy of The Manager’s Answer Book because we’d acknowledged him and his efforts in it. After all, books don’t sell on their own. 

After arriving at the store, I said to Cal, “I can’t thank you enough.” He corrected me.  “No,” he said, “it’s you and Barbara who I should be thanking.  If authors didn’t write great books, we wouldn’t have any to sell.”  When I asked if we could take pictures, he wryly responded, “Of course – this is your house!”  Then he got the store’s social media expert involved so we, the book, and the store – could receive even more coverage.  

Barbara and I know from investigating the publishing industry that this is a big deal. Primary placement for your book is priceless. We achieved it by being gracious and grateful to a savvy businessperson who was equally excited to meet us. Remember when we first met Cal he was looking for more HR books. And when we spoke on the phone that morning, the first thing he said to me is “Your book is doing great for us!” 

The story didn’t end that day in the store. In a follow-up e-mail, Cal expressed his thanks and appreciation to us for being “such authoritative and prolific authors” that allow the Fifth Avenue store “to present our customers with insightful content.” For Cal and his colleagues, it’s about the customer experience. It’s also about teamwork, because he understands that “bookstores exist because of the compelling work” authors do. Bookstores need authors to write books, authors need booksellers to market and sell the books, and both the stores and the authors need readers to buy and read them.  

This holiday season, Barbara and I are grateful for so many things. In our professional lives, we’re grateful to have wonderful people supporting us, like Cal Hunter, and our agent Marilyn Allen, -- we were surprised to learn that they share a long collegial relationship.  And we are especially grateful to you, our readers. Thank you for sharing our journey and supporting us!

And back to Cal’s comment – “this is your house.” Wow, we’ve got real estate on Fifth Avenue!  Well at least the space that our books take up, but we’ll take that and be grateful for it. 

Have a wonderful holiday season, and take some time to express gratitude to the people who support you.

Finding the right talent to fill positions in organizations is always a challenge but now, even more so. What can your organization do to survive and thrive, for that matter?  For one thing, you can work to retain your great employees so that you don’t have to replace them in a difficult job market. 

Manager’s Tip:  While there is no guarantee that they’ll stay with you forever, you can increase your chances of keeping them just a little bit longer by using some of the ideas found in the The Manager’s Answer Book:

“As you consider how to retain your great team, ask yourself these questions:

• Do they know how much I value them?  This is sometimes referred to as ‘re-recruiting your superstars.’ Sell them on the value they add to your team and let them know you are committed to adding to their skill set.
• Am I providing the high performers with career development opportunities such as mentoring, conference attendance, seminars, or degree opportunities? Investing I you superstars can encourage them to stay with you. Employees, especially Millennials, want to learn and grow, so be sure you offer developmental opportunities.
• Am I rewarding my great performers in ways that will motivate them to stay with me? In order to do this, you need to really know them individually so that the reward will fit them personally. To some people, a day off is a great reward. Others would rather have a bonus. There are countless ways to reward performance, but it isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ proposition.

For more ideas, see page 96 of The Manager’s Answer Book.

Manager’s Tip:  You do it by creating your personal brand. Your brand is how you present yourself – how you communicate, act and interact with others. As a manager, you are representing the organization – whether interacting inside or outside – so you always want to be mindful of how your actions uphold the organization’s positive culture.  There are critical traits that illustrate a positive personal brand. Clearly at the top of the list are ethics and integrity – being true to your values and principles. You demonstrate this by making decisions that don’t contradict your values, seeking out people with common values and respecting the people around you. Trustworthiness is a close second to integrity.  You show other people that they can trust you by maintaining confidences, exercising discretion and avoiding rumors and gossip.  Listen to your staff and be as transparent as you possibly can. Be fair and consistent with your staff and admit when you are wrong.  And finally courage – having the confidence and integrity when you see something is wrong or not moving in the right direction to say something. Confront wrongdoing no matter where it’s occurring. Step up and do the right thing. Finally, courageous leaders not only speak out and take an opposing point of view, they also advocate for ideas and positions that may not appear to be popular.

You can read more in The Manager’s Answer Book. Section Four is devoted to creating your personal brand.  Ethics and integrity is discussed on page 111, courage on page 113 and trustworthiness on page 120. The Manager’s Answer Book, is available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.

Manager’s Tip:  One of the things that is particularly hard for a new manager to do is give up favorite tasks and projects – those things your good at doing.  Delegation is the number one management skill and not learning how to delegate can derail your career. As you let go of your pet projects, think carefully about which staff member is right for each one. Once you’ve chosen someone, describe the task, the timeline and the expected outcome. Be available to answer their questions. Delegating frees up your time to work on strategic items and develops your employees’ skills.

Time management is another challenge – and not just for managers.  Try using a to-do list to keep track of what you’re doing. You may also want to start an accomplishments list so you can see that you’re making progress. Don’t forget to prioritize tasks on that to-do list, and manage distractions and interruptions – but do so gracefully. Finally, don’t take on too much. 

You can read more about delegation and time management on pages 53 and 54 of The Manager’s Answer Book, which is available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.

I’m writing this in late September, just after the devastating storm named Florence battered the east coast. Don’t tell people in the Carolinas that rain is peaceful and relieves stress, unless you want more conflict. We know better – we’ve lived through hurricanes and can understand and appreciate a different point of view.  

One of the keys to managing conflict – and alleviating stress – is the ability to listen to different points of view.  As we discuss in The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, we all have different experiences that shape the way we see things and events around us. Hurricane season is devastating in coastal areas. The summer monsoon season, as the rainy season is called in the Southwest, is welcomed with open arms.

There are more stressful seasons descending upon us. Halloween? No, it will be fun even with the ghosts and goblins and other dark creatures. But then we prepare for Thanksgiving – families gathered around the table. You’re concerned that after the upcoming mid-term elections your right-wing and left-wing relatives won’t keep their political differences civil and are hoping your outspoken brother focuses his attention and comments on the football game rather than offending anyone. 

You may take a pass on Black Friday, but there’s still the stress of holiday gift giving – selecting the perfect gift for everyone, purchasing it, and wrapping it.  

Barbara and I have a gift suggestion, and we'd be honored and humbled if you'd consider it.  We published two books on conflict, The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook and The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book. They are available from Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and independent book sellers. Both address topics of diversity, differences and expectations among others. It could be the perfect answer for those relatives who can’t get along or a gift for your colleagues or clients not only at the holidays, but at any time during the year! These books are a good reminder that conflict can be addressed with grace and civility.

Look no further, you can order both books online. To ease the stress, we’ve added links.  The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook: https://tinyurl.com/y8qy4msz and The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book:  https://tinyurl.com/ycktzyz9,

Free up your time this holiday season for the decorating, baking, partying – whatever you love, but can’t seem to find the time, to do. Fill this time with wonder and light and excitement before the gloomy days of winter, not stress and conflict. 

Our answer to this question is that not only can you have fun at work, there are good business reasons why you should bring some levity into your organization—none the least of which is that fun at work has a positive impact on your bottom line!

Make sure what you do to lighten the mood at work is not the kind of fun at someone else’s expense—that’s when issues like harassment, bias, and potential bullying pop up but if you know your employees well, I’ll bet you can come up some fun ideas that also might stimulate creativity as well! 

Manager’s Tip:  In The Manager’s Answer Book and give you some no or low-cost examples of things you can try including:

• Theme days
• Trivia contests
• Game days
• Ice breakers at staff meetings
• Improv sessions
• Celebrations for meeting deadlines
• Potlucks, chili cookoffs, tail gate parties

The list of things you can do is endless but be respectful of boundaries. Be sure that you as the manager participate along with other senior managers so your employees see a different side of you!

For more on having fun at work, see page 165 of The Manager’s Answer Book. Which is available at Amazon.com, https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble, or your local independent bookstore.

Remember when we thought that mentors had to be older people with many years of experience? Well, those days are over. A better definition of a mentor is “anyone who has knowledge you don’t have.” This new take on mentoring is playing out in organizations today as Millennials mentor Baby Boomers in how to get the most out of technology as often as Boomers mentor Millennials in how to survive office politics!

Mentoring relationships can be formal or informal and savvy organizations are installing mentoring programs to attract, engage, and retain the best talent available.  But, if your organization doesn’t have a mentoring program, don’t hesitate to look for a mentor on your own.

Mentoring is the classic win/win situation.  The mentee gains knowledge they didn’t have, and the mentor has the satisfaction that comes from doing something to benefit another. The organization wins as well with employees who are more engaged in their work and their commitment to your organization for providing them with mentoring opportunities!

Manager’s Tip:  If you want more ideas on mentoring, in our latest book, The Manager’s Answer Book -- we answer this question: “I’ve had wonderful people during my career who served as mentors and helped me get to the management level. I’d like to start a formal mentoring program and have the support of senior management to do so. Can you give me some ideas on how to get started?”

“Answer:  Good for you to want to ‘pay it forward’ and encourage mentoring in your organization. Mentoring is an excellent tool to develop staff that doesn’t cost much (or any) money but it can pay huge dividends for the individual and your organization, including your ability to hire talent employees. Smart job applicants ask if they might have a mentor to help them be productive if they join your organization. Other benefits of mentoring programs include the development of cross-organizational connections as people mentor employees from other departments and build channels of communication—often between people who might not have otherwise worked together.”

Check out more information on designing a formal mentoring program or selecting a mentor on page 138 of The Manager’s Answer Book available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.  

The article discusses how life long learning can go a long way toward helping us solve the skills shortage. While there are more and more learning possibilities available to our employees, not enough people take advantage of what’s available to them.

Organizations need to commit to providing learning opportunities and to make it possible for their employees to have the time to develop their skills through learning.

Manager’s Tip:  Life-long learning is a critical issue which we discuss in The Manager’s Answer Book:

Question: “I want to encourage my employees t continue to learn and grow. What can I do to help them see the importance of continuous learning?”

Answer: “Share what you’re learning with your staff. You can do this in a staff meeting by taking a few minutes to share a book, article, or other resource you’ve found to be helpful. If your employees seem receptive, it is a great idea to ask everyone to read a particular article or watch a specific video and then discuss it when you next meet. This is an easy way to get your employees interested in expanding their knowledge or skill base.”

There are so many ways to learn using available technologies, including:

• Webcasts
• Podcasts
• YouTube
• Online articles
• Audio books
• TED Talks

For more on this subject, see page 99 of The Manager’s Answer Book, available from Amazon -- https://tinyurl.com/y8umaqpz - Barnes & Noble or your local independent bookstore.

Fast forward a year and we were back in New York for the same conference and visited B&N on Fifth to discover two copies of the book were displayed, but on the lowest shelf, so getting a picture was going to be difficult. That didn’t stop Cornelia – she almost sat on the floor to do so.  At that moment, two men approached us and asked if they could help. One was the manager of the business book department who was excited to learn we were the authors of The Big Book of HR.

Turns out they were just discussing the need for more HR books. Cal turned to his assistant and instructed him to order more copies of the book. “I’m going to give your book better placement,” he exclaimed pointing to a display at the front of the store “Top Picks in Business. 

We were absolutely delighted to have met him but also to have him be so positive about our book. “We can’t beat this!”

Well, we go to the writer’s conference annually and make the trip over to see our books. Each of the but the next two years when we went, our friend Cal Hunter wasn’t there but it was still great to see multiple copies of The Big Book of HR prominently displayed.

But the third time was a charm. Cal was in the store and after thanking him for his support, he said, “Did you see the window display?” There in the window on 5^th Avenue in New York City, was The Big Book of HR in a display of “hot” business books!

We share this story for a couple of reasons. One is to thank Cal Hunter of the business book department of Barnes & Noble but the other is to serve as encouragement to you to not give up on your dreams and aspirations! 

Think about this, if Cornelia hadn’t gotten on the floor to snap a picture of our book, would we ever have had the experience of meeting Cal Hunter and having him take an interest in our book that ultimately made it to the window? I do know that not giving up was well worth it and I hope there is something in your life—either your personal life or your business life—that hasn’t happened yet. Our advice is to keep trying and never, never give up on your dreams!

When you think of disciplining one of your employees are you thinking of it in a negative, constricting way, such as to punish? Or are you thinking about it, as we would suggest, in a constructive way — a way to teach and thus have the employee learn?  In other words, is it a means for you to impart knowledge?

Manager’s Tip:  Manager’s often ask how to address workplace behavior without it appearing punitive. We advise in The Manager’s Answer Book that taking corrective action is not necessarily punitive action — and if you approach it as continuing development process or a teachable moment, it need not be an unpleasant experience for the manager or the employee. Rather than thinking of yourself as a disciplinarian or a task master, think of yourself as a disciple – a teacher or advocate of the employee.

We have more to say about corrective action and you can read it all on page 59 of in The Manager’s Answer Book.

My yoga instructor starts and ends each practice with an inspirational reading or intention for the practice. When she read this one, it struck a sensitivity about workplace behavior. 

Manager’s Tip:  Managers are often confronted with destructive behavior at work and we ask in The Manager’s Answer Book:  “What can I (any manager) do to keep such behavior to a minimum?”  Don't act in kind by rolling those boulders down a steep slope and engaging in joking and teasing that could be disruptive or worse discriminatory. Even if the behavior is not discriminatory or harassment just yet, you could be heading in that direction. 

What to do? Pull that tired donkey up the hill.  In other words, be proactive in order to prevent inappropriate behavior from growing worse. Talk about disruptive behavior of all types in meetings with your staff. Let them know that such behavior – joking and teasing about personal characteristics or groups of people, for example – won’t be tolerated.  Explain the organization’s values and how those values are exhibited through everyone’s positive behavior. Yes, this may be harder than ignoring it – which is just as destructive – but the results are well worth it. 

To read our full answer about managing disruptive behavior, see page 121 in The Manager’s Answer Book.

According to a July 19, 2018 New York Times article, “Supervisors said staff was more creative, their attendance was better, they were on time, and they didn’t leave early or take long breaks. Their actual job performance didn’t change when doing it over four days instead of five.”

There’s a lot we could learn from this experiment, primarily employees saw a significant increase in work/life balance when they had time away from work. They said they “spent more time with their families, exercising, cooking, and working in their gardens.” The firm found this experiment so successful it plans to make it permanent.

While a four day workweek may not be what your organization can support, think about how complicated our world is these days. Today’s employees, especially Millennials, want a real balance between the time they spend at work and the time they spend doing the things they need to do to stay sane!

Manager’s Tip:  We address this issue in The Manager’s Answer Book: “How can I address my employees’ desires for work/life balance with my business requirements?”

Some of the suggestions we offer are flexible work schedules such as a compressed work week or the option of working from home a day or two a week. As long as the work gets done in a timely manner and to your requirements, cut your people some slack on when they physically need to be at your place of work.

Encourage your employees to take time off. We’ve all heard the alarming statistics about how many Americans don’t use their vacation time because they’re afraid they won’t be seen as totally committed to their work. Everyone needs breaks to refresh and rest. Let your people know you want them to take time off and model what you want them to do—take your vacation time and use weekends to disconnect yourself. You’ll be amazed at how creative you are when you are away from work pressures.

Going back to the New Zealand experiment above, don’t you want your employees to be more productive and more energized?  If you can accomplish that in less time so your people have better work/life balance, all the better!

For more tips on work/life balance, see page 106 of The Manager’s Answer Book available on Amazon at: https://tinyurl.com/y8e4ohe2

Barbara Bush:  “George, get your feet off my table.”

George H.W. Bush:  “You can't talk to him like that. He's the President of The United States.  

Barbara:  “Yes I can. He’s my son and he knows better!”

Manager’s Tip:  What a wonderful lesson for all leaders. We ask in The Manager’s Answer Book what it means to assemble a personal board of directors. Shout this from the rooftops. Surround yourself with people who tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. All managers should surround themselves with trusted advisors from whom they can solicit honest advice and feedback. This should start with your team members, but don’t stop there. Include colleagues -- peers and even your boss’ peers -- from throughout the organization who will not be afraid to be honest with you and give you feedback. 

You can read all we have to say about assembling your personal board of directors on page 23 of The Manager’s Answer Book. 

He knew where to go, but had no further information so he emailed the principal with his questions: Where do I park? What about the teacher’s lounge? What about lunch – is there a place to leave it and eat?  

He arrived the first day, went to the classroom and met with the teacher he was replacing for the semester. The kids were still on break, and the morning was devoted to meetings for teachers and staff. When they broke for lunch, a group of teachers, including the one he was replacing, left to go out. No one asked him to join them. He ate his lunch alone. 

Manager’s Tip:  This is not exactly the type of experience you want your new employees to have. You want it to be warm and welcoming. A question posed in The Manager’s Answer Book is “I want to do a better (onboarding) my team. Do you have any suggestions?

One thing we suggest is: Consider having one of your current employees reach out to the new hire before the first day. Not only does this provide a sense of welcome, but it allows for a collegial relationship to form even before the start date. The last thing you want the new hire to be worrying about are things like “Should I bring my lunch, and if so where can I put it?” – like in our opening story – or “Will my cubicle have a place where I can lock up my keys or purse?” If you turn to page 82 of The Manager’s Answer Book, you’ll be able to read the entire answer.

Krista came out in a few minutes, introduced herself, and escorted her to a conference room. She gestured to water and coffee. “Help yourself. I'll be right back.”  

When she returned, Krista was followed by the man and another woman.  “I'm Zack and this is Jeanine,” he said extending his hand. Settling in a chair, Zack quickly took charge of the interview, with Krista and Jeanine occasionally asking questions. 

She was briefly thrown off her guard. This was not the interview experience she was expecting. She thought she’d be interviewing with Krista. Everyone was pleasant and professional, and all the questions asked were relevant. However, no explanations were offered as to who Zack and Jeanine were and why they were part of the interview? It was distracting. The experience did, however, result in a job offer the very next day, an offer she accepted. 

Manager’s Tip:  The interview is an integral part of the candidate experience, and we talk about it in The Manager’s Answer Book.  

Query: “Should I interview them (the final candidates) myself or ask some of the department heads to join me when we meet the candidates?”  One piece of advice we give: “if you choose to do a panel interview, let the job applicant know before they arrive for the interview, and give them the names and titles of who will be on the panel.”

We have more to say about interview types and processes, which you’ll find on page 95 of The Manager’s Answer Book.  We hope you’ll take the time to read it. 

It was a simple on line transaction that was made far too complicated by their processes and I had to make multiple attempts to fix simple mistakes. So, when I FINALLY resolved the issue and got an immediate message from their site asking for feedback, you can bet I did the quick survey which took all of 10 seconds because all I had to do was to click on the image that best fit how I felt about my experience.

Within minutes, I had an email message from a real person who apologized, explained what had happened and, here’s the best part—before she emailed me, she’d checked to see that everything was in order and wished me a great trip. The message was warm and friendly without being intrusive.  I felt so much better about the time I’d wasted on their site.

Manager’s Tip:  In our latest book, The Manager’s Answer Book, we pose a question: “I want to be sure we’re providing our customers with the best customer service, but I keep hearing that good customer service isn’t enough—that we have to give them a good customer experience. How can I make sure we are doing that?”

One thing we say in our answer is: “Create an emotional connection with your customers, because customers become loyal when they feel they received how they felt when they used a particular service or product. Studies show that an emotionally engaged customer is at least three times more likely to recommend your product or service. Emotional connections are formed when your employee finds a way to do something so special for a customer that the person is blown away.”

See page 159 of The Manager’s Answer Book for the full answer and a great example of how to provide a customer experience from Zappos. 

We have many doves in our new neighborhood who delight us with their cooing. Unfortunately the hawk, who’s been frequently spotted and shooed away by a frustrated Fran, knows about this dove population too. In the laws of nature, the hawk is a predator, and this weekend with no human residents around as a deterrent, a poor dove fell victim to his prey. We witnessed all the evidence in our courtyard. 

In the workplace, managers often have to contend with hawks, the aggressive and competing types, as well as doves, who are all about compromising, being cooperative, and finding peace.  While managers may have to mediate differences between these two, or other types, a manager should never tolerate predatory, aggressive and competing behavior from any type. That means no cutting sarcasm or thoughtless humor. No jokes at others expense. No dismissive behavior – ignoring colleagues input or talking over each other in meetings. 

Managers have the responsibility to address and stop disruptive workplace behavior.  Respectfully confront the individual engaging in such behavior and explain why it’s wrong. “You may intend that joke to be funny, but it’s belittling and demeaning.” And, let the individual know that the behavior has to stop. 

Don’t wait until you observe such behavior. Be proactive. Talk about disruptive behavior of all types – harassment and bullying are the extreme examples – in staff meetings. “Comments and jokes that take aim at others are not professional and don’t belong in the workplace.” Have open conversations about the organization’s policies and culture, listen to employee’s concerns and encourage everyone to speak up. This will not only support and maintain a positive culture, it will build your personal credibility. 

An article in the Albuquerque Journal on May 4, 2018 caught my attention. It was about two Native American teens who had travelled to a city out of state for a college tour. During the tour they were pulled from the group by two police officers. A complaint had been made by the mother of another student who stated, according to the article, they were too quiet. The teens were the only minorities in the group of white teens and parents.

The incident made national and international news with allegations of discrimination, negative stereotyping and racial profiling. That’s not what this post is about. It’s about a comment made by one of the officers.  He was reported as saying to the teens mother, “Maybe it will be a lesson for your kids that when they’re in a public situation to speak up.” 

There are numerous dimensions of diversity that go well beyond the ones that are obvious, the ones that can be seen and observed, like race and sex. People have different work and personality styles – they can be introverts or extroverts. My reaction when I read the comment by the officer: Maybe they are both shy! Maybe they are introverts.

Management lesson:  Every team will have introverts.  In meetings, you want to encourage everyone to participate in discussions. But remember, introverts don’t tend to speak up. They may have to be asked. They may need time to process the information being shared. You sometimes have to be creative and draw them out, especially in a meeting situation.  

Get to know your team members and learn more about them and their preferred style. We all have our own comfort zones. If you learn some people are shy or intimidated speaking out in a meeting – respect that difference.  If some individuals tell you they like to have time to process information before offering solutions – respect that difference. Find out how they are comfortable contributing. Leave the door open to accepting suggestions – perhaps in person or via email – after the meeting has concluded.  Don’t overlook them – they may have the solution you’ve been looking for! 

Whether you’re a new or seasoned manager, your responsibilities can become overwhelming at times. There are days and new situations that will leave you feeling vulnerable and alone. You don’t know where to start or even what or who to ask.

We are pleased to share our years of first-hand experience in our fourth book together, THE MANAGER’S ANSWER BOOK: Powerful Tools to Maximize Your Impact and Influence, Build Trust and Teams, and Respond to Challenges (Career Press an imprint of Red Wheel/Weiser, June 2018). 

Written in question-and-answer format, THE MANAGER’S ANSWER BOOK is an easy-to-use guide providing information on many aspects of managing, broken down into the following categories:

• Getting started: moving from peer to manager, setting goals, managing projects, resources, and much more.
• Developing your management skills: communicating, delegating, motivating, and facilitating.
• Building and managing your team: hiring, firing, and everything in between.
• Creating your personal brand: building credibility for yourself, your team, and your department.
• Managing up, down, and around: working with people and functions in your organization.
• Avoiding potential land mines: conflict, change, and risk.
• Recognizing legal pitfalls: navigating the haze of laws and regulations.

Some situations we discuss in the book include:

• My predecessor was held in high esteem by everyone—but I’m not her and will likely have a different style. What do you suggest?
• I’m adjusting to managerial responsibilities, but feeling cut off from people I used to brainstorm with. Is there a way to keep both?
• What is ‘workforce planning’? Where do I start?
• What should I be looking for in managing third-party contractors?
• I think my company wastes a huge amount of time in meetings and I’d like to change this. What can I do?
• My to-do list is out of control. How do I prioritize?
• What can I do to bridge skills gaps I see on my team?
• We have a very diverse workforce. Can you offer guidance for managing/interacting in this environment?

THE MANAGER’S ANSWER BOOK will help any manager stay informed and avoid unknowingly tripping over a new situation while providing insights into many situations and issues that managers face outside their own area of expertise. It’s the ultimate resource for managers at all levels!

THE MANAGER’S ANSWER BOOK is available on Amazon.com or at your local book store starting June 18, 2018 or you can pre-order it now on Amazon so you have it sooner. If you like the book, we’d be most grateful if you’d post a review on Amazon!

If you don’t find the answer to your questions in our book, contact us and we’ll do our best to respond in future blogs!

Barbara & Cornelia

Oprah Winfrey, to the Annenberg School for Communications and Journalism at the University of Southern California

Winfrey offered clear advice for graduates regarding the workplace. “Become so skilled, so vigilant, so flat-out fantastic at what you do, that your talent cannot be dismissed.” She also encouraged graduates to do what they loved because “your job is not always going to fulfill you.” Even on those days “you may not feel like going to work at all – go anyway, and remember that your job is not who you are. It’s just what you are doing on the way to who you will become.”

Hamdi Ulukaya, CEO of Chobani to the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School

Ulukaya's spoke about the growing societal expectation that CEOs speak up on social issues, stressing that “the center of gravity for social change has moved to the private sector,” with the business world and their leaders best positioned to lead the way. He also cautioned business school grads, “Don’t let it (your MBA) get in the way of seeing people as people and all they have to offer you, regardless of their title or position.” 

Abby Wambach, retired professional soccer player to Barnard College

Describing rules she used in leading a team, Wambach encouraged graduates to be energized by failure, support people from the sidelines and champion the power of the team.  However, she also spoke of the importance of knowing when “demand the ball,” and step into a leadership role – whether a formal or informal role – and take charge rather than playing a supporting role.

Anne-Marie Slaughter, CEO, New America and former State Department director of policy planning to Washington University in St. Louis. 

Slaughter encouraged graduates to look for opportunities in their “home towns, state capitals or bustling regional cities” where they can make positive change. For aspiring entrepreneurs, go to “where the real estate is cheap and the community is strong, where new tech sectors are springing up by reinventing traditional businesses from manufacturing to media.”  For aspiring architects, “go renovate your home town’s downtown, putting beautiful old buildings to new uses.”  Aspiring journalists, “go reweave the fabric of local civic life by creating or joining new models of producing local news.”

Siddhartha Mukherjee, Pulitzer Prize-winning author of “The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer” to the University of Southern California

By far my favorite, Mukherjee's beautifully written keynote speech was focused on listening. This task of a “uniquely human capacity” and takes three forms — being empathetic with others, listening to the past and listening to nature, “eavesdropping on the universe, learning its natural laws, its geometries, its rhythms, its constancies, its mind.”  His powerful message warned that 

“It is impossible to ignore that we have stopped listening to each other. Or, for that matter, that we have stopped listening to natural laws,” he said. “The word 'listen' can be rearranged into 'silent,' – the absolute prerequisite of listening,” 

But, taking time off is just the beginning. How do we get people to actually disconnect from work? Most of us, even if we’re sitting on a beach and looking out at a beautiful ocean, lake or river, still check our email far too often. 

If you really want to disconnect, there are things you can do.

• Use the out of office feature on your email. Even if you plan to check messages from time to time, let people know that you will have limited access to email.
• Set one time a day to check your messages and stick to it.
• Lock your phone in the hotel safe if you can’t stop yourself from looking at it!
• If you need your phone to take pictures, keep your phone in airplane mode.

It’s not rocket science to understand that taking a real break from work can have real benefits toward your mental health. This may take some practice but give it a try! And, by the way, if you lock your phone up but keep your tablet by your side at all times, put it away as well!

We all want to protect our privacy at work but if you find yourself in a personal situation, talk with your manager first. You don’t have to share everything but you should feel comfortable in letting your manager know that you have a personal issue that may require you to be gone from the workplace and also take your focus away from work even when you’re there. 

Hopefully, you’ve been a dependable employee who does good work so that you’ve built up a reserve of good will with your manager. I had a manager who said it’s like a bank account. You deposit money and then, when you need it, you can withdraw it.  Work, he said is the same—you do good work and contribute to the organization’s success and then, if you need time off or whatever, you’ve built up a reserve to draw upon.

Be clear about what you will need. It may be you need to work from home a day or two a week or some assistance with a deliverable with a tight deadline. Let your manager know what you think will be the most helpful and work it out so that the work gets done especially if you need to be away from work.

Do the same thing with trusted colleagues—you don’t have to share all the details but if you need help on a project, ask for it and of course, let your colleagues know how much you appreciate their support and that when you’re back to full capacity at work, you will be there for them. And support them if they need your help at some time!

Yes, we’re employees but we’re also human beings who need help from time to time.

I had wonderful teachers in elementary school—except for fifth grade when I had the teacher we all had heard about since we started school. Her name was Miss Nice and let me tell you—nice was not a word I would ever use to describe her.

Now I realize that Miss Nice was really a good teacher—she was preparing us for what was to come when we moved on to the next level. What we didn’t like about her was that she expected a lot from her students and if you did good work, she rewarded you by letting you leave class a little early at lunch time to make her a cup of tea! I can’t imagine a teacher doing that today but we fought for that opportunity!

I never thanked Miss Nice for what she did for me and I bet few of my classmates did either but I should have because what I learned in her class has stayed with me. 

Yesterday I was reminded of how much it matters when we’re appreciated. I chair a committee for a large volunteer organization which takes up a lot of my time and energy. Sometimes I wonder if I should keep it up. Well, I received an email from a long-time committee member who thanked me for my leadership and for my dedication and told me how much she appreciates me.

To say that message made my day is a total understatement! So I challenge you to think who you might contact today to let them know how much you appreciate them. Might be a former teacher, a mentor, a colleague, a coach. It doesn’t matter who it is, but do it today! You won’t regret it and you will touch them in a way that is beyond your wildest imagination!

1. The on-line edition was shorter than the print edition where I found some interesting facts.
2. I’m not an educator, so my opinions about standardized tests are not anchored on any facts and may be biased! 

Standardized tests are apparently administered via computers these days. (What happened to No. 2 pencils?) Among the problems that occurred, students in some schools could not log in, while others had no choices for multiple-choice questions. Glitches, hacks and other electronic and cyber nuisances take a toll on the process fueling concerns about them – the value of the results and the importance placed on them, especially as a way to evaluate teachers. Educators, I invite you to comment on this. 

Kudos and respect to the teachers.  I hold you in high regard.  However, the experts I’m referring to in the title, are the students. Given the opportunity by one fifth-grade teacher, her students wrote about how their opinions of the tests. Many expressed distaste, One complained (and rightfully so, in my humble opinion) about computers scoring tests including scoring the essays! (Seriously?)

That student wrote: “The legislators have never had to take the … test. I would love to see them sit down for 90 minutes at a time (at) this nuisance they call a test and I bet they would struggle during so many days of testing.”

Management lesson: Ask the people who actually do the work!  Don’t try to implement new processes and systems without consulting with the people involved. This week a fifth-grader is reinforcing that lesson!

Competing, someone who likes to argue and debate? Competing often means defending a position you believe is correct, or simply trying to win.

Accommodating, someone who is unassertive and cooperative, often yielding to another’s point of view or even giving in when you believe your ideas are better? Accommodating is the complete opposite of competing.

Avoiding, someone who is unassertive and uncooperative neither pursuing your concerns or others?  Avoiding doesn’t commit and is unsure where h/she stands on issues.  

Compromising, someone who is moderate in both assertiveness and cooperativeness, looking to fine an expedient, mutually acceptable solution that partially satisfies both parties? Compromising is intimidated by direct confrontation and looks to gain consensus or seek a quick middle-ground solution.

Collaborating, someone who is both assertive and cooperative and takes a win-win approach to find a solution that fully satisfies both? Collaborating understands the value of positive conflict and often acts as a mediator. 

Each of us is capable of using all five conflict-handling modes and no one uses a single style of dealing with conflict. Understanding your own preferred conflict style and the preferred conflict style of others, helps us take conflict less personally and creatively resolve workplace disputes. Once you understand the preferred style of others, you can use these ideas to work successfully with a person using a particular conflict style or mode:

Allow the competing style time to vent.  Be gracious while doing your best to discover what they fear.  Use reflecting listening skills and don’t forget that humor may go a long way in getting a competing person to relax and then be able to resolve the conflict.

Be direct and patient with the avoiding style while you work to understand their position.  Be supportive and allow that person to feel as if they can confront you with their issue.

Active listening is effective with the compromising style as you work to create a supportive environment where the person will feel comfortable.  Describe the impact of their behavior on the situation and allow them to feel as if they can confront you with the issue.

Try to get the accommodating style to open up about their feelings and fears.  Monitor their energy level since they are susceptible to burnout.  Solicit their input and feedback since probably won’t offer it willingly.

Watch and learn from the collaborating style in order to enhance your own abilities to deal with conflict. This way you won’t always depend on them in conflict situations since they are skilled at resolving whatever comes up.  

April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month, but let’s keep this awareness going. Having workplaces filled with creativity and respect is essential for organizational success. Spread the word, share our posts, and we’d be honored if you recommended our books The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook and The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book to your colleagues and friends and on Amazon.  

Difficult people are almost always the cause of conflict. People’s behavior, not the people themselves, can cause difficulty and be the underlying cause of problems. While bad behavior is certainly a contributor of conflict, it’s not the only cause.

Failing to set realistic expectations is a big contributor. If people don’t understand what the organization, their manager, or their teammates expect, confusion and conflict can result. Set expectations early, beginning with the job interview and again during the first days of employment.  Let people know the job entails – its functions and tasks – and what success in the role looks like.

Changes in the workplace is another contributing factor. Globalization, generational differences, changing technology, or new leadership are just a few changes people may encounter. Change is uncomfortable, but we all have a choice about how we react – embrace it, or resist it, or wait and see.  To lessen the likelihood of conflicts, change can and should be managed effectively.

The problem at the root of a conflict is usually obvious. People often assume that they understand a problem. Information is presented and it’s human nature to jump to conclusions. Central to managing conflict is identifying the problem. No matter with whom you are in conflict – your boss, teammate, employee or peer – acknowledging the problem is critical to solving it.  

Getting to the source involves conversations and some detective work. There are a number of skills that you can use such as attending skills, which put everyone on an even level, encouraging skills which helps others to elaborate, and reflecting skills that allow the opportunity to restate in your own words what you’ve hear the other person say. Get good information by varying the types of questions you ask, such as open-ended questions, close-ended questions, or opinion-based questions.

In conflict, there are always winners and losers. True, if you follow the theory of position-based bargaining, but it won’t solve the problem or resolve anything. A position is what we demand from the other person(s). When positions become the focus of the conflict, the problem can get covered up along with any useful solution.

Focusing on interests – needs, desires and outcomes is more effective. Think about what your interest(s) is and be able to articulate it to yourself and others, explaining why it’s important. Then separate your position from your interest. Making your interests come alive will increase the likelihood that the other side will understand them. It will help to move the discussion away from positions. 

Consider the other person’s prospective. Stand in their shoes and contemplate their interests. Underlying your interests and theirs are mutual needs and values, which helps everyone to make informed decisions and be better equipped to create options to resolve the conflict.

Let’s celebrate Workplace Conflict Awareness Month by encouraging everyone to focus on positive conflict resolution in their organizations. Please consider sharing this post with your network so we can spread the word that we can all positively address workplace conflict.

The following is a sampling of the things Greg and I discussed this year:

Question:  What inspired you and your co-author Barbara Mitchell to write The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book?

Answer:  We wanted to write a companion to The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook.  Too often in conflict situations, people are leery of speaking up for fear of saying the wrong thing.  We wanted to give people who are conflict adverse some prompts or suggested language to help them find the right words and gain the confidence to speak up.

Question: Honest, straightforward dialogue seems to be the key to most problems in the workplace (and elsewhere). Why are so many people so bad at it?

Answer: Problem solving takes time and effort but in today’s work environment, time can be a precious commodity. Therefore, rather than get to the root of the problem people react and hope to move on. It seems easier to offer an explanation, excuse or apology without taking the time to listen.

Question: What are some good questions to ask in helping the other person put the real issue(s) on the table for discussion?

Answer: When trying to get to the root of an issue, it’s important to exchange information and points of view. Ask: 

• Can you describe the situation and give me a specific example of what happened?
• Can you explain the issue to me as you see it?
• Can we start at the beginning?

Question: What if someone tries to pull you into a situation and get you to take their side? How could you respond?

Answer: Honestly, the worst thing someone can do is to get involved in another person’s fight. That’s not to say you can’t take a stand – but that stand should be a neutral position. The problem needs to be solved by the individuals involved – the people who own the problem. You can respond by saying:

• The situation is between you and her. Have you spoken with her about it yet?
• Stop talking about him and talk to him. 
• I can’t fix the problem you’re having with him, but you can.

We’ve been spreading the word about Workplace Conflict Awareness Month on social media because everyone can help manage conflict in their workplaces and organizations.  Would you consider helping us? We'd be delighted if you would write an Amazon review for one of our books about conflict. 

• The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book can be found at https://tinyurl.com/ya74nxgr
• The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook can be found at https://tinyurl.com/y832wmh3

Other ways you can help get the word out is to share our posts on LinkedIn this month, follow us on Twitter (@gotworkconflict, @bigbookofhr) and retweet our posts, and like and share our posts on Facebook. We’ll never rid the workplace of conflict, but we can help to resolve and even optimize it by finding creativity in differences. 

These were the questions that opened an interview I had this week with a reporter writing for FastCompany.com about how employees can deal with co-workers who seem to have animosity toward them. What a great topic for Workplace Conflict Awareness Month!

Here are a few of the things we talked about:

• Is the employee exhibiting animosity feeling threatened or insecure?  Has a new member joined the team and not taken the time to learn more or exhibited superiority? Both of these attitudes could lead to feelings or perceptions of animosity.
• Get to the root of the issue. Understand what the underlying problem or issue is – and do so in a respectful way. “Can we talk and clear the air?”
• Describe the behavior and the impact it’s having on everyone. Educate the other person so can understand and realign their behavior.
• Respectfully confront the situation and the person and offer a more positive approach. This helps to derail any continued negative behavior.
• Ask for help from a neutral third-party only when all else fails. Organizations would do well to invest resources to help their employees learn good conflict resolution skills.

I’ll let you know when the article goes live. In the meantime, be aware of and address any conflict in your workplace!

1. Know when and how to intervene. Different circumstances call for different responses. If one employee’s lack of performance is preventing other employees from getting their jobs done, the manager definitely has a direct role to play. He has to address performance deficiencies of that team member. If an employee is struggling because of issues outside the workplace, then expert help, such as an employee assistance program, should be suggested.
2. Give your employees the space to grow. Employees need the freedom and authority to solve problems that relate to their work. Help them to learn conflict management techniques and develop problem-solving skills. As a manager, take advantage of this training yourself and model the techniques and skills you learn. Think of the positive impact for your organization when your workforce is skilled in avoiding the negative impact of unresolved conflict. 
3. Recognize that tension, egos, and emotions often get in the way. Managers have an interest in developing good working relationships among team members. You should define the problem and the impact it’s having in the workplace. Don’t discount the impact of emotions. Sometimes they are the person’s passion around an issue. Help employees control and balance emotions so they don’t interfere with resolution.  
4. Strengthen your own facilitation skills. You are often a neutral observer to a conflict. This is a great vantage point from which you can assist by guiding employees through a mediated discussion. Meet with employees, define roles and set ground rules. The employees are the primary players, not you. They will be asking questions of each other and proposing solutions. You won’t offer advice, opinions or solutions, even if asked. You’re there to keep the discussion on track.
5. Optimize conflict – it’s often creativity and innovation trying to happen. Employees close to the work often have great ideas for better solutions. Help them brainstorm, evaluate and priorities these ideas. When people sit down and talk, calmly and rationally, great information and viewpoints are exchanged. Working relationships are strengthened. Embrace the point of view that conflict is essential in the workplace if it’s part of a creative and engaged culture that wants the organization to grow and thrive. 

April is Workplace Conflict Awareness Month. Spread the word by sharing this post. Let’s help everyone make their organizations workplaces where ideas and respect grow and prosper.

I know this makes many people nervous—not because they have something to hide. It’s because it isn’t something they’ve had much experience doing. Many leaders have operated under the assumption that they didn’t need to tell their employees when the organization was experiencing problems—they thought they were doing their employees a favor by hiding the bad news.

That may have worked in the past century but it won’t work today. Now we want to know it all—the good and the bad so I hope this is the way you are operating and if it isn’t, here are some ways to get started.

• Live your vision and your values—take every opportunity to reinforce your organization’s values to your employees. Let your employees hear from you what you value but be sure you live out those values or your employees will lose faith in you and your organization.
• Share financial results—the dashboard concept is an easy way to quickly share financial information in an easy to understand format.  Keep it to one page and put it on your intranet or share in meetings so that everyone knows how you’re doing against your financial targets.
• Set clear expectations and hold people accountable—when people are clear on what is expected of them, don’t let them off the hook if they don’t deliver. Let them know what the consequences are to not reaching a goal, give them the help they need to succeed but if they fall short, hold them accountable.
• Train your managers—let managers know that they’re expected to be open and honest with their teams and provide help to them if they run into difficulty making this happen. Once they see how empowering having employees in the know can be, they usually see the value of transparency.

Of course there are pending actions that you wouldn’t share with everyone such as the possibility of a lay off or a termination for cause so always exercise good judgment when sharing information.  Remember that transparency is what good employees crave so do your part to be as open and honest as is possible!

2. Training and beyond. Training should be specific to your work environment and organization’s needs. One size doesn’t necessarily fit all. Focus on behavior – all the behaviors you want to prevent. Training shouldn’t be limited to the legal stuff. Have senior management present, visible and actively participating in the training. Beyond formal presentations to all staff, engage managers to leverage teachable moments when they occur and incorporate those moments into staff meeting discussions. 

3. Segregation. There are also reports of organizations isolating (or contemplating isolating women from men – prohibitions on women and men traveling together or sharing rental cars, or excluding women from off-site meetings or events such as lunches. LeanIn and Survey Monkey surveyed 2,950 employed adults to measure the impact of widespread media reports of sexual harassment. Nearly half of male managers said they are now uncomfortable working alone, mentoring, or socializing with a woman. These are not solutions to workplace harassment and such actions can have the consequence (unintended or otherwise) of discriminating against women

4. Non-Fraternization policies. Are you willing to police employee’s personal relationships and enforce such a policy? Things to consider if you do want a policy that addresses employee dating:

• Do you want to restrict dating altogether, or put some common-sense guidance for employees in place?
• Do you want to restrict dating between direct reports? Employees in the same departments?
• Do you want employees to notify a management representative when they enter into a romantic relationship? When they break up?

Regardless of the approach that is best for your organization, do let employees know – through training and discussions – that when employees are involved in relationships outside the office, there are risks and the potential for problems that can occur.

5. Alternatives for reporting harassment. Technology is bringing us apps – among other medium – to enable the anonymous reporting of workplace issues, especially harassment. Proponents argue that it will raise management’s awareness by alerting them that there is a problem. An opposing view is that while it’s good to know there’s a problem, a vague report may not provide sufficient information about the nature of the problem. Thus, an appropriate investigation to get to the root of the problem may not be able to take place. 

One of the best examples of collaboration has to be team sports like hockey.  Even though the women’s gold medal hockey match was on TV in the middle of the night, I was glued to the action and riveted to the outcome when the U.S. women won gold.  Watching their unselfish play, it was clear they knew that to win, they each had to play their role and do it flawlessly.

Collaboration is essential to business success in our highly competitive business environment, and yes, maybe even to our survival as we are in a global economy. Most of us have learned that silos are deadly, and hoarding knowledge kills collaboration and stifles innovation.

Collaboration at work means having a clear understanding of the goal to be achieved and what role each person plays to achieve the goal. The end result of collaboration and teamwork is often the same—when people collaborate, they’re working together toward a stated goal!

However, one of the things that either makes collaboration effective is when work groups respect what each person brings to the team, and people put their own ambitions and need for personal satisfaction aside order to achieve the team goal.  This isn’t easy for many people in our business world today, but it can make your organization much more productive.

Here are some actions leaders and managers can take to encourage collaboration:

• Set clear objectives for success
• Identify potential obstacles to success and remove as many as possible
• Get to know your team and have them get to know each other
• Take responsibility for mistakes
• Recognize and respect everyone’s contributions
• Encourage open discussion of goals and objectives
• Brainstorm solutions and encourage creativity
• Build consensus on group projects
• Listen to input from everyone
• Compromise when necessary to move forward
• Celebrate successes and learn from mistakes

Collaboration can have a positive impact on productivity and innovation, so encourage it whenever possible. For more information on how to maximize collaboration at work, watch for our latest book, The Manager’s Answer Book, which is available now on Amazon for pre-order and will be released in June, 2018.

By now, everyone is aware changes are being made in the way that organizations address sexual harassment.  How is your organization responding to workplace harassment in the post-#MeToo environment? What are some of things you should be doing, or doing differently? Here are some things to consider. 

1. Is your organizational culture perceived to be a comfortable environment where people will bring issues about workplace behavior, harassment and other behaviors, to the forefront? If so, will these issues be addressed if they are brought forward?

2. How do you communicate a shift in your culture if the perception is no, it’s not comfortable? You want to make employees aware that their opinion matters and that they have a stake in shaping the culture. Do you do climate surveys or town-hall type meetings where these issues are discussed? Do managers talk about them in staff meetings?

3. Where do you set the threshold for unacceptable behavior (versus actionable harassment – behavior that meets a legal standard)? In the post-#MeToo environment, if you haven’t already done so, raise the threshold and do not tolerate unprofessional or inappropriate behavior. It’s distracting and unproductive.

4. Are there people in the organization who are perceived to be “untouchable” – exempt from policy or law? In the post-#MeToo environment ask why this perception exist or why there are, in fact “untouchables.”

5. Is there a neutral process to investigate complaints and are the investigators neutral? In the post-#MeToo environment, there is an expectation that investigations will happen immediately. Be sure you have appropriate investigators, internal or external, in place before a complaint is made so you can act quickly and appropriately without reacting or speeding through an investigation for the sake of speed.

6. Assuming there is a process, do you employees know it exists and understand how to file a complaint? Have you considered issues specific to your organization or industry – remote employees, non-English speakers, employees with frequent customer contact, to name a few? Its important employees understand your policies and complaint procedures. 

7. If harassment is determined to exist does the punishment fit the crime? The post-#MeToo environment with high profile situations covered in the media has given rise to the expectation that all behavior that is determined to be harassment must result in termination. Any management action you take should be proportional to the seriousness of the behavior – and not all behavior is equal. 

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission published a report on its study of workplace harassment in June 2016. If you’re interested in reading the report, you can find a copy at https://www.eeoc.gov/eeoc/task_force/harassment/report.cfm.

And if you missed it, be sure to read our post from February 13 – Compliance or Common Sense, at http://makingpeoplematter.blogspot.com/2018/02/compliance-or-common-sense.html

Working with the escrow officer handling the purchase of our new home was becoming exceptionally challenging –I’ll spare the details. She sent us documents to review and asked us for other information that we’d already sent. The odd thing was that she could not have prepared the documents she wanted us to review had she not had the information we sent. Her request was a real oxymoron. Nevertheless, I sent it again.

Next day I was speaking to her on the phone and asked if she’d received the information. She profusely apologized and explained, “I was in a training session all yesterday afternoon when I sent you the e-mail. I was trying to remember if I’d received the information or not. I guess I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry you had to send it again.” 

I had my opening. I couldn’t resist to tell her, in a lighthearted fashion, that I often conduct training and yes, she shouldn’t have sent me the e-mail while sitting in a training session. She should have been paying attention to the training, after all, “you were in the training for a reason.” 

• She likely missed some important information in the training session while she was busy sending e-mails
• She created additional work and frustration for me, a client for whom she was responsible who was in a transaction 
• Her actions (requesting information she’d obviously received) reflected poorly on her credibility and her ability to pay attention to details – an important part of her job

All of this reminded me of a presentation I once attended where the speaker spoke about three important qualities to cultivate: presence, acceptance and trust.  

• Presence – the ability to be here and now and focus one’s thinking in order to move toward a goal.    
• Acceptance – the ability to deal with reality as it is rather than as we’d like it to be.  
• Trust –  the ability to be reliable and project confidence while remaining open to unforeseen outcomes

Too often when I’m in meetings or leading one I observe is people looking down at devices and missing everything. Take the time to look up from that devise.  Look around you.  Get involved and engaged in the experience at hand.  Be present and draw from the environment.  

I do a lot career transition coaching and most of my clients seem to think networking is a four letter word and will do anything to avoid it—which is not a good thing when you’re looking for a new position. Or, actually, if you want to succeed in whatever field you’re in—networking is here to stay so we all need to find ways to do and do it well!

Lucky for me, I‘m someone who’d network 18 hours a day—I love meeting new people and hearing their stories. One of the ways networking is fun for me is when I can help other people connect.

Remember Malcolm Gladwell’s bestseller, The Tipping Point? If you’ve read the book you’ll probably remember his description of people who are “connectors”. It’s a pretty simple concept—connectors help other people get in touch with each other. 

Some people are natural connectors—they meet someone at an event and immediately think of someone they already know who this new person should know—because they either have something in common or one of the two people has knowledge of or interest in a subject the second person wants to learn or know.

Connectors have good memories or good records so that they can easily put the two people together—and sometimes the connection is made on the spot.

It happens to me all the time—I will be at an event or social function and will meet a new person and later at the same event I will meet someone else who is in the same field or who is looking for a job in the first person’s area of expertise.  It’s such fun for me to bring the two together. 

But, here’s how to make it really a connection—I don’t just say, Tony, I’d like you to meet Randy and then walk away. I share something about each of them that lets them both know it’s going to be worth their time to connect.

In addition to helping people meet other people, being a connector has other benefits:

1. The people you connect are usually more likely to refer you to other opportunities since you’ve gone out of your way to introduce them to someone who may have been a real help to them.
2. Being a connector provides you with a focus at a networking event. If you’re one of the many people who’d rather have a root canal than go to another event, if you go with the idea of helping other connect, you’ll be amazed at how many new contacts you get for yourself. This focus helps with the nerves many people feel as they walk into a room of relative strangers. 
3.  And, in order to connect others, you first have to know something about each person so you can find someone to introduce them to—in other words, connect them to someone with a common interest, profession, or need. Get to know them by asking good questions about their lives.
4.  By connecting people to others, you’re providing a valued resource.  There is usually a payoff to the connector—it may not be quick but most people are genuinely thankful for a good introduction and may help you by introducing you to your next great opportunity.

Working on your connecting skills will help you be a better networker so I encourage you to give it a try!

Barbara Mitchell

Behavior that is disrespectful often occurs on a continuum, and if it's not addressed early it can erode.  For example, subtleties, if not confronted and addressed, can deteriorate into sexual harassment, which can deteriorate into sexual assault. The lines between different types of behavior can at times be thin and blurred, but the behaviors are distinct from each other. 

What can and should we be doing about harassment, sexual and other types, in our organizations?  Funny you should ask.  In The Essential Workplace Conflict Handbook, Barbara and I devote a chapter entitled Are You Playing Nice in the Sandbox?  to disrespectful and disruptive behavior, including descriptions of certain types of behaviors. Here are some of the key points – points I have long stressed in training – we make in the book:

• Live your values and don't tolerate behavior that is contrary to those values – behavior that is disrespectful and disruptive to the workplace. 
• If unacceptable behavior occurs, address it and empower every employee to address it –and live up to that commitment. 
• If behavior is judged against a standard of respect, organizations don't need to determine if it does or doesn't meet the legal definition (or standard) of harassment.  Simply stated, raise the bar on your acceptable standards of behavior – and live up to that commitment. 

This is what organizations should be stressing in their harassment prevention training. They should also be having more conversations about workplace behavior outside of compliance training sessions. Managers need to be involved and engaged in these conversations. 

Employees should feel comfortable confronting behavior with the perpetrator when it happens and reporting the behavior in accordance with the organization’s policies. How do you encourage employees to address and stand up to unacceptable behavior? After all, it can be intimidating.  We’ve got suggestions for that in The Conflict Resolution Phrase Book, a companion to our earlier book on conflict. A chapter in this book also entitled Are You Playing Nice in the Sandbox? is filled with phrases that can be used or tailored to respectfully confront disruptive behavior. 

Organizations have an obligation to be compliant with the laws. They also have an obligation to create and maintain workplaces that are comfortable, professional, and respectful for their employees, clients, customers, guests, and visitors. Common sense goes a long way toward meeting both of these obligations!  

There is much to say on this subject, and we will in future blogs, so please be sure to check our posts on Making People Matter, which we publish every week at makingpeoplematter.blogspot.com.