Bipolar Bisexual

Dear JJ (AKA "What Crazy Looks Like")

2012-02-27T16:10:00.003Z

Yesterday I listened to an audio clip of Fletch and Vaughan reading some text messages allegedly send from a girl called JJ, to a man she had a one night stand with. The girl was clearly suffering from a severe anxiety episode, yet people all over the globe seem to view this as entertainment.

Since when has a girl having a mental breakdown been funny? Screen shots of the texts have propagated all over the web under the title "This is What Crazy Looks Like Via Text Messaging" and there are literally thousands of comments from people laughing at her.

I really hope that the texts are a hoax. If not, there is a girl out there, who will no doubt be deeply distressed by this mass, disgusting example of digital bullying.

What JJ appears to have experienced, is the involuntary surge of chemicals that follows sex. She felt attached to Kevin, whether she wanted to or not, and any sign that he did not feel the same way, caused her great anxiety. In order to alleviate this anxiety, she texted him again and again. Every time he failed to respond, she felt more anxiety and the urge to text him again increased. She got caught up in a self-defeating loop. Later texts suggest that she loathed the way she was behaving, yet was powerless to stop.

Most of the comments about this appear to see things from the man's point of views. Yes, I understand why her texts may have annoyed him, but that seems negligible given the pain she must have been in to send so many, deeply troubled texts.

So JJ, if you're reading this, the people who are laughing about this are the ones you should feel sorry for. They are obviously to shallow to appreciate that somebody in your position deserves compassion, not public humiliation and mockery. For many people, the emotions that follow sex with a new partner, or overpowering and confusing. You are not the only girl who has behaved in this way, and you won't be the last.

Opportunity for writers of lesbian/bi fiction

2012-01-05T22:26:00.002Z

I stumbled upon Freya Publications, who specialise in offering a diverse range of lesbian fiction.

They are currently looking for submissions for two short story collections. The themes are:

- Sunkissed - short love stories with a summer theme.

- She Bites - short stories with a gothic theme.

They also accept novel submissions.

See submission guidelines.

Clarkson versus Husband of Train Suicide Victim

2011-12-04T20:14:00.011Z

Jeremy Clarkson on what to do after a train suicide:

"Change the driver, pick up the big bits of what's left of the victim, get the train moving as quickly as possible and let foxy woxy and the birds nibble away at the smaller, gooey parts that are far away or hard to find."

Was he joking? Was he sincere?

To be honest, I don't really care. It's not acceptable to make comments like that in sincerity or jest.

In an important radio interview, a man who lost his wife to OCD, discusses the impact Clarkson's comments have had on him.

Following his wife's suicide in front of a train, Glinn tortured himself imagining the parts of his wife that were hard to find. He found comfort in the level of respect with which the rail company treated his wife's body.

Clarkson's comment was part of a wider discussion in his column in The Sun newspaper, in which he argues that suicide is selfish.

Suicide could only be selfish if the person committing it, is fully aware that the destruction that their suicide will cause, is going to be worse than the destruction caused by he or she remaining alive.

"In most Western countries, close to 90 per cent of those who die by suicide have a mental disorder. " - Mind

"Broken down by type: mood disorders are present in 30%, substance abuse in 18%, schizophrenia in 14%, and personality disorders in 13% of suicides." - Wikipedia

This means that most suicide victims have a distorted perception of reality at the time of suicide. Many sufferers of the conditions listed above, are not capable of fully appreciating the impact that their suicide might have on others, especially not during the moment that they take their own life.

In the aforementioned radio interview, Glinn states, "She [his wife] wanted to die because of the effect it [the OCD she suffered from] was having on lots of other people around her." He also said, "She was probably one of the most unselfish people you could ever meet."

It is outrageous, in this day and age, for anybody to view death that is a consequence of an illness, as a slight on the sufferer.

Listen to Glinn interviewed on the radio.

If anybody can tell me what radio station this is from, or who the presenter is, I'd be really grateful. Thanks.

Glee - Santana's Coming Out Episode Utterly Disappointing

2011-12-04T19:28:00.006Z

After Glee's sensitive handling of Kurt Hummel's sexuality, viewers had high expectations for the episode about Santana Lopez coming out to her mother and her high school. Unforgettably, the episode was extremely badly written with an offensive choice of songs, uninspiring covers, poor dialogue and an absence of substance. The fact that it was named after a Katy Perry song was the first clue that it was going to be bad.

Finn Husdon sings Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper. Apart from the fact that the cover was so insipid and lifeless that it took me a long time to recognise it, the lyrics are offensive and kind of irrelevant to coming out. Most girls want to have fun, but very few just want to have fun. Certainly lesbianism isn't as shallow as simply girls having fun.

Then, the female characters cover I Kissed A Girl by Katy Perry. If anything, I Kissed A Girl is an anti-lesbian song. It totally undermines the depth of lesbian feelings and the importance of sexual experiences between women. Far from being a gay anthem, homosexuals everywhere despise it.

I'm not the only one to have hated the episode. Many people online, including autostraddle.com point out that even though the episode is called I Kissed a Girl, no girl actually kissed another girl throughout. In fact, Santana's relationship with Brittany is largely ignored, making the episode rather hollow.

To be honest, I'm starting to wonder if any of the episode's six male writers, have ever spoken to a lesbian.

The Workshy Disabled Person

2011-10-04T03:30:00.006+01:00

Received by email:

I would like nothing more than to walk to work on a crisp winter morning.

I would like nothing more than a reason to get out of bed each day.

I would like nothing more than to be paid for the hard work that I do.

I would like nothing more that to be able to answer "What do you do for a living?" without feeling embarrassed.

I would like nothing more than to know what a weekend feels like.

I would like nothing more than to unwind after work with my colleagues.

But I can't get into employment because of a debilitating health problem.

Do I sound workshy to you?

UK - Planned changes to Housing Benefit likely to affect bipolar sufferers

2011-10-04T02:27:00.005+01:00

From January 2012, the UK government plans to raise the minimum age for claiming housing benefit for a one-bedroom flat, from 25 to 35. This means that many people with bipolar disorder, will suffer severe disruption to their lives.

The reduction in benefits will mean that people who currently live in self-contained accommodation, will be paid the rate of housing benefit designed for people who rent a room in shared houses. Many people will be unable to afford not to move.

The changes will affect most single people who live alone and claim housing benefit. The changes do not appear to affect claimants of the DLA (Disability Living Allowance) care component at the middle or higher rate. This means that the people most severely affected by bipolar disorder may not have to move, but many others will do.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder are easily exacerbated by stress. Being forced, not just to move house, but to find new people to live with, will have a profound negative effect on vast numbers of people with mental health problems.

Even once the trauma of moving home has passed, shared accommodation will not suit many people with mental health problems. Although most people with bipolar disorder will comfortably adapt to new housemates, others will find that losing their independence has a profound negative impact on their wellbeing.

Being able to live in self-contained accommodation gives people with bipolar disorder a chance to build self-confidence. This has a knock on effect on other areas of their life, and can be an important milestone in helping disabled people achieve other things, such as returning to full time employment.

In some cases, suffering from severe mood swings can put a substantial strain on interpersonal relationships, making house share situations difficult to maintain.

These government plans are irresponsible and do not offer people with mental health problems the protection that they need. People with bipolar disorder have special needs which do not appear to have been adequately addressed in this decision.

To find out more about the impact that these changes will have on vulnerable members of society, see the Crisis Campaign on the Shared Accommodation Rate.

What should go on my blogroll?

2011-09-25T22:12:00.001+01:00

I'm about to update my blogroll and am looking for some really good websites about sexuality and mental health. Any suggestions?

The Real L Word - Really?

2011-01-27T19:22:00.007Z

I've just seen the promo poster for The Real L Word.

Oh my God!

You can practically hear "California Gurls" being sung in the background and we all know how I feel about Katy Perry.

The description on the Facebook page for The Real L Word says "The producing team plans to show viewers that the cast can be every bit as glamorous, fashionable, fabulous and even as cutthroat as their celebrated-but-fictional counterparts."

Yes, lesbians can be glamorous and fashionable but at the end of the day, queer women are a diverse demographic which range from devilishly hot to downright repulsive.

I'm sure you could find delicious, feminine hotties among most groups if you looked for them. Hell, I've seen at least one pretty tasty delivery person but if a show claiming to represent lorry drivers depicted the lives of half a dozen gorgeous ladies, I'd be somewhat suspicious.

Somebody should write to Ilene Chaiken in her luxury LA apartment, and point out that whilst there are cut throat and fabulous lesbians all over the world, she's hardly surrounded by a representative sample of gay women.

Beside of which, are there really no butch or plain lesbians in California, who could have helped to give the show a more balanced approach?
Don't get me wrong, it's great to see the old masculine, frumpy stereotype get rebuffed but it annoys me beyond belief to see something like this billed as "reality TV." Please!

Bipolar Disorder Misrepresented in Shutter Island

2010-06-09T12:14:00.002+01:00

*** Warning: Spolier Alert ***

I enjoyed Shutter Island, the new Martin Scorsese film based on the novel by Dennis Lehane. However it's another example of the irresponsible portrayal of people with bipolar disorder in the media.

A manic depressive woman, Dolores Chanal (played by Michelle Williams) drowns her three children in a lake. Because she is not the main character, her struggles with the illness are not well explored in the script, giving the impression that the bipolar disorder is an adequate explanation for multiple child killings.

Of course writers and directors want to make good, dramatic fiction, but it's particularly unhelpful when bipolar disorder is used time after time to explain away arson, murder and whatever other extreme plot devices an artist wishes to throw at us.

As a general rule, people suffering from bipolar disorder are not dangerous or even necessarily criminal in their behaviour. Would it really hurt directors to acknowledge this? The character Dr. Cawley (played by Dr. Cawley) had quite a lot to say about psychiatry. Perhaps they could have got him to point out that whilst bipolar disorder may have been a major cause for stress in Delores life, it is unlikely to have been the sole cause of her downing her own children.

I kissed a girl and I liked it then I went to hell - Plenty of room for love

2010-04-19T17:22:00.010+01:00

Dave Allison, pastor of Havens Corners Church in Blacklick, Ohio put this rather aggressive sign outside his church:
Then, after numerous emails from passers by, he changed the wording, saying about the first version: "There was no room on the sign to talk about love and forgiveness, simply the consequence."
That's odd, because I managed to fit in all these words:

And please, if you want to attack the lesbian community, pick a focus that we actually embrace - i.e. Not Katy Perry.

To the reader with alarming suicidal thoughts...

2010-04-07T23:03:00.002+01:00

To the blog reader who searched for "10 ways to kill yourself because your bisexual"
1. Please don't.
2. Why 10? And how do bisexual suicide methods differ from straight suicide methods?
3. Being bisexual isn't hard to live with once you come to terms with it. There are many many different support options. If you're reading, which country are you in?

Can bipolar disorder cause homosexuality?

2010-03-25T15:49:00.009Z

Although the causes of homosexuality are the subject of much controversy, bipolar disorder is not one of the leading contenders. Theories of genetics and early environmental factors suggest that your sexuality has already started to cement, long before adulthood so it seems unlikely that something that usually kicks in at about 21, could change something already been largely decided for you.

However, many people believe that sexuality is a on a spectrum, rather than categorical, with most people falling towards the heterosexual end of the scale but not necessarily right at the extremities. Factors such as inhibition and social pressures may prevent someone who was mainly attracted to their opposite sex, from exploring the small part of them that desires same sex encounters. Mania is known to decrease inhibition and raise sexual arousal, therefore being manic could lead increased homosexual activity, if you were somewhere mid-scale. It is also possible that you could be entirely straight and have a homosexual encounter when manic, because mania distorts your thinking - likewise mania might lead a gay person to have a wild night of passion with a straight.

Nevertheless, homosexuality as a result of mania is likely to be a temporary condition which would stop once the mania stopped, with the exception being people with underlying bisexual or homosexual tendencies who needed something to kick-start their self-awareness.

Just as bipolar disorder leading to homosexuality is not a straight forward topic, neither is the debate as to whether or not homosexuality can cause mental health problems. Many theories about mental health problems suggest that an underlying genetic predisposition to an illness could lead to sickness if an individual experiences a stressful life event. Coming out to yourself and your loved ones is very stressful for some people.

So in conclusion, I don't think bipolar disorder can permanently change your sexuality, but mania could cause temporary homosexual activity, or open your eyes to tendancies you've had all along, but been too inhibited to explore.

A public letter to Melanie Vaughan, the bride who ruined her own wedding day by being intolerant

2010-03-23T16:21:00.017Z

Dear Melanie Vaughan,

"It was one of the most embarrassing things I have ever known. It ruined the wedding." you told the press.

You ruined your own wedding day, by being so quick to judge other people.

As you will recall, it, was a photographer named Kate Summers, who had started living as a woman during the months after taking your booking, then known as Dave Stonestreet. Just so you know - most of us prefer to use the pronoun she when referring to a woman.

The gender identity Kate chooses is a matter of personal choice and not really any of your business. However despite this fact, she was courteous enough to mention her change to you before the wedding, something which you claimed to be comfortable with at the time and later retracted, (perhaps when you realised outrage might have more media-potential.)

From your reaction, anyone would have thought Dame Edna Everage herself had walked into your wedding wearing a bikini, not a brunette middle-aged woman with tidy hair and a modest calf-length skirt.

Yet despite Kate's modest dress, you told the press, "I had no idea how bad it would be." Apparently you thought she would come in a trouser suit.

A woman living as a woman, turns up dressed like a woman! What an awful shock that must have been.

I notice that your other female guests are not in trouser suits, nor you, so why would you expect Kate to wear one?

In addition to unacceptable intolerance, you have shown utter hypocrisy by saying, "I'm open-minded" and "I do understand what he's going through." No you don't, or you wouldn't be moaning to the national press that Kate had ruined your wedding day when it appears that she was just to have been trying to earn an honest day's pay! And "I'm open-minded" doesn't even begin to demonstrate open-mindedness if it's followed by "but he looked ridiculous."

I very much doubt that it was Kate's intention to upstage you on your wedding day, she was probably just trying to get on with her life. It is you who has turned an occasion that was supposed to symbolise your love for Anthony, into an attack on the transgender community.

If your wedding could be ruined by a virtual stranger having a sex change, it must have been tottering near the brink of destruction anyway.

What would you have Kate do instead? Live as a man when she feels as a woman? Or would you just rather she just stayed at home and never went out to work?

You say you're not happy with the photos, but what do you expect if you and your guests held such contempt for the lady behind the camera?

By the way, are you the same Melanie Vaughan who went whining to the press when a security guard wouldn't carry your pushchair up some stairs? Granted, your fall-out with The Job Centre Plus is not riddled with bigotry and poison like this most recent complaint, but it does suggest that you might be inclined to view everyday frustrations in terms of their media potential.

However this time it's backfired. Rather than reflecting badly on Ms. Summers, your recent comments to the press have shown you to be an intolerant, spiteful and media-hungry person.

Transgender people pop up everywhere within the community - on buses, in supermarkets, at church and even at weddings, but you don't see other people running crying to "Love It" magazine.

I suggest that you make a public apology, both to Ms. Summers and the wider transgender community, if you want to emerge from this situation with even a shred of dignity intact.

Thanks

Miffed blogger

10 things you can do to protect children instead of ranting about Jon Venables

2010-03-11T17:04:00.017Z

This year over 20,000 children will be abused in the UK. That's a lot of perpetrators who definitely aren't Jon Venables.

You could waste your energy ranting about the crimes of somebody who's already under police custody, or you could take some of these steps to really make a difference.

Donate to The NSPCC to help protect children in the UK.

Donate to Save the Children and make a difference to children all over the world.

Learn the signs of child abuse and consider the safety of children that you know.

If you suspect that a child is being abused, do something about it. You can get advice on how to help from the NSPCC.

Realise that a history of murdering toddlers is not the only sign of an abusive personality. Learn to spot a bully and be extra vigilant about allowing potentially abusive people access to your children.

Volunteer with ChildLine ChildLine urgently need to recruit and train more volunteers to ensure they provide counselling and support to every child who needs it.

Get a job preventing child abuse If you're criticising the people who work with offenders because you could do a better job, go and do it. Or get a job actively supporting children.

Stop looking at porn Do you think child pornography is the only form of porn where any exploitation takes place? Don't have double standards just because the people exploited to pamper to your tastes happen to be over age. If you need something to ignite your imagination, try erotic fiction instead and stop supporting an industry with a child abuse department.

If you're an abuser, get help There are many circumstances which may have lead you to start abusing others and there are many ways to stop.

Stop lynching ex-offenders David Calvert is said to have feared for his life when he was mistaken for Jon Venables. If the public could be trusted not to take the law into their own hands and harm ex-offenders, there would be no need to hide their identities, we'd know who they are and therefore be able to keep children away from those who might re-offend. If you abuse a former peodophile or child killer you're only going to encourage future identity protection, no matter how tempting it might be.

Your own behaviour is the easiest to change. So, to the many people criticising those who work hard to rehabilitate and accurately risk-assess offenders, until you've done everything you can to prevent child abuse yourself, perhaps you should stop throwing stones.

At the expense of the tabloids...

2010-03-08T18:37:00.004Z

The tabloids never impress me, but even by their standard, they've been a disaster in recent months. There was The Sun's Killer Schizo story, The dreadful Daily Mail opinion piece about Stephen Gateley's "unnatural" death, and the ongoing attack on people who claim benefits - because apparently nobody's allowed to suffer from misfortune.
Which is why this gave me so much pleasure. It randomly generates a Daily Tale front cover by fitting classic tabloid victims and villains into classic tabloid headline formats.
Random Tabloid Front Page Generator

If you date a butch girl, you may as well have a man - right or wrong?

2010-02-18T12:52:00.009Z

There are a vast selection of annoying clichés about lesbians but one that stands out, is the assumption that women who date butch women, may as well date men. This is a very shallow outlook on sexuality, and a lesbian's reasons for dating another woman don't change just because that woman happens to have a square jaw.

Here's why:

1. Attraction is about emotions as well as physical chemistry

Although there is much individual variation, as a general rule, males and females have quite distinct personalities. A woman cutting her hair and getting a tattoo won't change an underlying feminine character.

2. She's got a woman's body

Even if a girl has a slightly masculine face and a fondness for baggy clothes, she's still a woman underneath, with female curves and female naughty bits. This a quite a fundamental deviation from men.

3. Sexuality is not a rational choice

Although there is some controversy over whether or not people choose their sexuality, the general consensus among the gay community is that we don't. Therefore there is no point at which a lesbian will look at her butch girlfriend and think, "I could get a man with that haircut, best upgrade."

4. Heterosexuality isn't necessarily the rational choice anyway

Even if we could choose our sexuality, why is having a boyfriend necessarily preferable to having a girlfriend? Why don't people tell straight women, "If you going to date a man, you may as well have a butch lesbian."

Are people with bipolar disorder more likely to be unfaithful in a relationship?

2010-01-31T17:36:00.005Z

Mania and hypomania are associated with lowered inhibitions and increased sex drive, so does that mean that we're likely to cheat on our partners? It's something I'm asked a lot by readers who are considering entering into a relationship with somebody who suffers from bipolar disorder.

A scary number of websites are quick to condemn us despite an absence of any modern data on the topic. Is it reasonable to assume that we're not capable of monogamy or is the stereotype vastly inaccurate?

The first thing I'd say is that every bipolar person is an individual. We have a diverse range of moral values just like any group within society. Some of us greatly value monogamy and trust, whilst others have more casual attitudes towards commitment. Therefore statistically, some of us are bound to be more trustworthy than your average scoundrel.

The second important thing to note is that people with bipolar disorder are not constantly manic. If there is an increased risk of unfaithfulness as a result of bipolar disorder, it will be limited to times when that sufferer is experiencing a period of elevated mood. Talk to your prospective partner, find out how well he/she is managing the disorder and use that to inform your judgement. Some people undergoing treatment for bipolar disorder never experience further periods of mania in their entire lifetime.

Something which is often overlooked when people are ranting about the sexually reckless behaviour of people with bipolar disorder, is that periods of depression are associated with decreased self-esteem and decreased interest in sex. This means that during some periods of time, a bipolar person is much less likely to cheat than a stable person. However having to watch a partner suffer from depression can be a painful experience in itself. I'd rather my partner had casual sex than felt suicidal.

Also, an increased risk of making a reckless mistake when sick, does not translate to an increased risk of ongoing affairs and deception. I can see no logical reason for believing that a person with bipolar disorder would be more likely to be dishonest and untrustworthy on a day to day basic, than your average healthy person.

In summary, get to know the person you want to date. Find out about their fundamental attitude towards relationships and monogamy. Determine how well they are managing their condition. Find out what you can do to help and develop plans for dealing with difficult times. Don't simply write someone off because he or she happens to suffer from bipolar disorder - you could be missing out on a wonderful, healthy relationship.

Are bipolar women the natural target of the abusive male?

2010-01-03T21:33:00.008Z

An aspect of mental health which is often neglected is the exploitation we can expect from bullies in society. Resources focus on our intrinsic experiences and often those of our friends and family; thankfully discrimination is becoming more widely addressed; but nobody ever warned me that the lesser well-meaning people in society would see a diagnosis of bipolar disorder as a big flag marked, "Abuse me."

A mental illness is like a "buy one get one free" for a bully, because in general we are vulnerable lot who can be easier to manipulate than others, but also, if we ever try to stand up to them they can use our diagnoses to try and discredit our voices.

I've seen this happen to people with mental health problems professionally, in housing situations and most prominently in sexual relationships. Psychologically abusive men seems to flock towards mentally ill women because "No dear, you're just a bit manic" is such a convenient deflection.

Perhaps when we are taught how to spot the early warning signs of mania and depression, we should also be taught how to recognise a bully and successfully remove one from our lives before they get too strong a hold.

The symptoms of bipolar disorder - the highs, the lows, the self-criticism, the guilt - are tough enough to live with without always having to be on our guard for people who want to take advantage of us, yet we do have to be extra vigilant.

On the plus side, those of us being treated for mental health problems tend to have well-developed support networks and have learnt effective coping strategies, which means that if we do become victims of bullying, we are in a relatively strong position to defend ourselves, compared with victims who have never previously needed psychological intervention.

Fury at The Sun's "Killer Schizo" story

2009-11-18T12:55:00.009Z

Yesterday The Sun printed a damaging and ignorant story about an escaped woman convicted of manslaughter, Patricia Gillette, who suffers from schizophrenia.

Fury at escape of killer schizo

According to an article by Time to Change, Rethink does not think using the word "schizo" is acceptable. Neither do I.

However my main concern is not about the use of an abbreviation which has become widely used as a derogatory term, but about the misrepresentation of schizophrenia in the press.

Whenever somebody suffering from schizophrenia behaves in a violent way, it gets reported in the press and the word "schizophrenic" is thrown in there like it's a predictable explanation. However there are over 600,000 people with schizophrenia in the UK and the vast majority are not violent and never have been.

Granted, newspapers are more likely to pick up on an escaped killer story than a respectable schizophrenic working in a charity shop, but because of the stigma surrounding mental health, I would like to see stories such as that of Patricia Gillette, written up in such a way that they don't propagate inaccurate negative attitudes towards people with schizophrenia.

One example might be, "Patricia Gillette is one of the minority of criminals who suffer from schizophrenia. Schizophrenic people are 14 times more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrator." ¹

Update 18/11/2009 17:30:
The Sun have retitled the article "Fury at shop escape of killer"

References:
Schizophrenia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Should sexuality be included in the 2011 Census?

2009-11-15T14:54:00.004Z

What do you think about this?
Census may ask individuals to disclose sexual preference

The Equality and Human Rights Commission argues that knowing how many homosexuals there are in Britain, and what jobs they do, will improve equality legislation. They say by excluding the question it would be "an indication of invisibility" and "a major obstacle to measuring progress on tackling discrimination."

The Office for National Statistics believe the question would be unlikely to provide a true picture because sexuality is so complex. 390,127 people (almost 0.8 percent) stated their religion as Jedi on their 2001 Census forms, which shows how misleading census data can be.

Ann Widdecombe says, "It is people’s own business. It is not anyone else’s business and I don’t see why anyone should be asked to declare it."

Tips for Bipolar Travellers

2009-11-15T13:43:00.004Z

With the weather plummeting into sogginess and the dark evening closing in on us, it's tempting to leap on a plane to the southern hemisphere to fend off impending Seasonal Affective Disorder. However travelling can be somewhat tricky for people with mental health problems because it disrupts the routines that are central to our stability.

But why should we miss out on the joys of travel when, with a bit of foreword planning, holidays can be rewarding and relaxing experiences? Below are some things to consider if you're bipolar and planning on satisfying your wanderlust.

Talk to your healthcare professionals
You will be aware of how your illness affects you and to what degree you can cope with change, however it never hurts to get a second opinion and so talking to your doctor/CPN might be helpful.

Try and stay in a similar time zone
The more you need to adjust your sleeping pattern, the harder it will be to adapt to the new location so if you have a choice of holiday destinations, try and pick the one closest in time zone to the area that you are travelling from. If you do decide to travel afar, plan for a few relaxed days at the beginning of your trip to allow you time to adjust and make sure that you have some free time after the trip, to readjust back to your home routine.

Journey at sensible times
Although flights can be cheaper if you travel at anti-social times of day, bear in mind that going on a holiday is going to require a lot of adjustments to your routine anyway, having a disturbed night's sleep certainly won't help.

Choose a suitable holiday
Whilst I don't think we should let our health problems frighten us away from enjoying life, we do need to be realistic. It's not fair that a 18-30s 24/7 clubbing adventure in Ibiza might send us into mania, but it's unlikely that many of us could cope with that sort of trip. If you want to enjoy some partying, extreme sports or other stimulating activities make sure that they are within the context of a varied holiday that will allow you periods of relaxation in between.

You will find it much easier to manage your mood if you try and stay in one holiday destination than if you travel around a lot during the trip.

Choose supportive travel companions
People vary enormously in both their abilities and preparedness to help. Whilst you might love your best mate to bits, if she's likely to leave you depressed in the hotel alone so that she can go out clubbing, she's not a good choice of travelling companion. You need to be with friends who understand that you need to stick to a routine and who don't mind taking it easy should you find yourself suffering from mood swings during the trip. Discuss any health concerns with your companions before travelling.

Plan your medication is advance
If you're going on a short journey, make sure that you pick up enough medication to last the trip before you go, as it might be difficult to get a prescription abroad. Should you expect to be picking up meds during your trip, ask your doctor for a prescription in advance and make sure that he/she uses generic names as brand names may vary from country to country. You also need to check that your meds are licensed in the country that you are travelling to as it could be an offence to travel with them otherwise.

Travel insurance
Insurance can be expensive for those with pre-existing health problems, however MDF - The Bipolar Organisation should be able to help you there. The Summer 2007 edition of One in Four also suggests All Clear Travel, Travelbility and Free Spirit Travel Insurance.

Pack in advance
The journey itself is likely to be stressful so allow yourself a break between packing and travelling. Try and pack at least 24 hours in advance so that you don't feel stressed at the last minute.

Form a holiday routine
So your holiday routine is going to be a little different from your routine at home, but there doesn't mean that there can't be structure to your days. Try to stick to regular meals, take your meds at the same time each day and try and get full nights' sleep.

Prepare for the change in diet
Often holiday makers can find that the change in diet causes diarrhoea or constipation, these problems (especially the former) can affect the absorption of your medication and mess up your nutritional intake. If possible take some medicines like Imodium with you so that you can nip these problems in the bud.

Familiarise yourself with the health system abroad
It can be hard calling for help when we have half a dozen emergency contact numbers programmed into our phones, so we can really do without the hassle of having to fathom an unfamiliar medical service during a period of sickness. For this reason, before you travel, familiarise yourself with the health service in the country you are planning to visit and find out the best way to summon help.

Enjoy yourself
Whilst travelling can be challenging, don't expect failure. If you've planned ahead and are surrounded by supportive people, you should be able to have a relaxing and enjoyable holiday just like anybody else.

Got any positive (or negative) stories about travelling with bipolar disorder? If so, feel free to share them below.

Disability Living Allowance for Bipolar Disorder

2009-10-20T13:43:00.012+01:00

Many people arrived at my article on claiming benefits for bipolar disorder by asking Google, "Can you get DLA for bipolar disorder?" so I thought it was an area that I should visit in more depth.

Disability Living Allowance (DLA) is a UK government benefit for people under 65 with care needs, and broadly speaking, yes, you can get it for bipolar disorder, but it depends on the severity of your symptoms and how it impacts on your life.

Why should you apply for DLA?
Although the application forms can seem very daunting, if you are entitled to DLA then it's worth applying because:
- DLA for bipolar disorder is likely to be between £18 and £88 per week.
- DLA is not taxable
- It's not mean-tested
- It's disregarded as income for most means-tested benefits
- If you live alone it may trigger the Severe Disability Premium, which can bring about increases in your means-tested benefits, such as housing benefit, council tax benefit and income support.

The problems
Although the Directgov states that DLA is for people who are "physically OR mentally disabled" many of the questions on the form are not mental health friendly and it can be difficult to convey your care needs within the framework provided.
In addition to this, writing about your troubles can be draining which can stop you from painting an accurate picture of just how debilitating your problem might be.
Another problem is that many DLA claims are turned down at first, but change on appeal. Those of us suffering from depression may become despondent and not complete the claim/appeal process.

What to do?
I cannot stress enough, the benefit of having somebody to help you with the form. In order to maximise your chances of success, you should consider enlisting the support of somebody from a charity that deals specifically with mental health problems, e.g. Mind. If you have a Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) then he/or she may also be able to help you find somebody to help with the claim.

To make an application you will need an application pack (ref DLA 1) which you can download from the directgov website, telephone the Benefits Enquiry Line on 0800 882200 or ask for one at your local DWP office.

Is it worth applying? Needs Checklist
If you have any of the following needs (adapted from benefitsinmind.org.uk) then it is worth reading on, to find out what level of DLA you may be entitled to.
Attention needs

You need encouragement get out of bed in the morning
You need help motivating yourself to get dressed
You need to be reminded/encouraged to take your medication
You need encouragement to be active within your home
You need encouragement to take part in hobbies or social life
You need encouragement to communicate with others
You need help with your paperwork
You need encouragement to make yourself wash bath regularly
You need help to eat properly and regularly
You need help to cook a main meal
You need help getting to bed / sleep at nights
You self-harm
You feel suicidal
You can get aggressive
The way you are makes other people react aggressively to you
Your concentration is very poor, e.g. you don't make sure that fires are safely out, leave cigarettes burning etc.
You have ideas or thoughts that frighten you into behaviour which could be dangerous
You wander off
You put yourself in situations where others could take advantage of you
When you become more unwell it happens very quickly
When you become unwell you try to hide it from others

Mobility needs

You have panic attacks out of doors in unfamiliar places
Anxiety that makes it hard for you to concentrate / communicate
You hear voices which distract you
You suffer from paranoid feelings
You put yourself at risk in some way

What level may I be entitled to?
Mobility - Lower Rate.
This is paid to you if you need someone with you when you are in unfamiliar places. Think about times when you go out alone to new places, do you suffer from panic attacks, become so anxious that you get lost or put yourself at risk? If so, you may be eligable for the DLA lower rate mobility component.

Mobility - Higher Rate.
You are unlikely to receive the DLA higher rate mobility component for bipolar disorder alone. However if you also have a physical disability, check the enitlement critera on benefitsInMind.org.uk.

Care - Lower Rate
If you have care needs (for example needing encouragement to get out of bed, take your medication or help with your paperwork) for short periods during the day, probably amounting to around an hour, you may be entitled to the DLA lower rate care component. You may also be entitled to this component if you have difficulty cooking for yourself. So if there are days where the prospect of cooking a hot meal seems so overwhelming to you that you don't bother, make sure that you put that on the form.

Care - Middle Rate
If you have care needs on and off throughout the day, need someone close by to keep an eye on you, or have care needs more than once or for over 20 minutes at night, you may be entitled to the DLA middle rate care component.
Are you sometimes at risk of self-harm and need somebody nearby in case you become suicidal or inclined to hurt yourself? Does bipolar disorder lower your concentration, leading you to do unsafe things such as forgetting to turn off the hobs? If so, these are attention needs and will help a decision maker ensure that you get the correct amount of DLA.

Care - Higher Rate
If you have difficulties requiring care and attention frequently throughout the day and night then you may be entitled to the DLA higher rate care component.

If you have both mobility and care needs then you will be awarded both components and the amounts will be added together.

For more information see www.benefitsInMind.org.uk.

Make Your Views On Care in the UK Heard

2009-10-08T19:57:00.004+01:00

I was stopped in town today by some people researching opinions for The Big Care Debate.

According to their website:

The UK Government is working to create a new National Care Service for England that is fair, simple and affordable. How should it be structured and paid for? Tell us what you think of the options for reform. This is the Big Care Debate.

You can make your feedback on their new plans heard by completing The Big Care Questionnaire.

Benefits for People with Bipolar Disorder in the UK

2009-10-06T11:17:00.003+01:00

Whilst the process of claiming benefits in the UK can seem daunting, there are a variety of benefits available for people suffering from bipolar disorder, which vary according to a range of factors, for example the severity of your symptoms, home situation and availability for work. Below is an overview of the main the welfare benefits you may be able to claim if you are under 65 and bipolar.

Note: this is a guide only. Entitlement conditions are complex and you should check the rules before applying.

Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
ESA replaced Incapacity Benefit in Autumn 2008. If you have limited capacity for work, then you may be eligible to claim this benefit. It also offers personalised support geared towards getting people (back) into suitable employment. The rate depends on your age, National Insurance contributions, nature of your disability, willingness to try work-related activities etc.
ESA is administered by the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) and you can begin your application using their claim line: 0800 055 66 88.

Disability Living Allowance (DLA)
This is a tax-free benefit designed to cover additional costs of living caused by your illness. There are two components, mobility and care, which come at different levels. However the DLA application form does not seem to have been designed with the mentally ill person in mind, so you may need help from somebody experienced in claiming benefits in order to maximise your chances of success. I applied for DLA myself and got a small amount of money but I reapplied a few months later with the help of an employee of Mind and was awarded a much more reasonable sum of money. Benefits in Mind have published a useful guide about claiming DLA if you have a mental problem rather than a physical one.
DLA is administered by the DWP and you can apply online or call their enquiry line: 0800 88 22 00.

Income Support (IS)
This is a means tested benefit designed to make sure that a household has enough money to live on. If you're registered sick or disabled and have savings of less than £16,000 you may be entitled to IS.
IS is administered by and you may claim by telephone: 0800 055 6688.

Housing Benefit (HB)
If you are in rented accommodation you may be eligible for HB to cover either the whole, or part of your rent. As I understand it, if you get IS you should get full HB, but if not it will be calculated based on your circumstances.
HB is administered by your local council and you apply for HB and CTB together on a HCTB1 form which you can get from your local council offices.

Council Tax Benefit (CTB)
If you have a low income and have little capital, you may be eligible for CTB.
To apply, see notes above on HB.

Working Tax Credits (WTC)
If you are disabled but employed for 16 hours or more per week, you may be entitled to WTC.
Tax credits are administered by HM Revenue and Customs and you can request a claim form on 0845 300 3900 or pick one up at you local Job Centre Plus.

Statutory Sick Pay (SSP)
If you're an employee and unable to work because you're ill you may be able to get SSP. It is paid by your employer and can be paid for up to 28 weeks.
To get SSP you must tell your employer that you are sick and may be required to submit medical evidence.

Help with Healthcare Costs
If you are in receipt of IS, you will automatically qualify for free prescriptions, sight tests etc; however if not, you can apply for an HC2 or HC3. These are certificates provided on a means-tested basis, which entitle you to money off health costs.
You apply to the Department of Healh, on an HC1 form which you can get using their order line: 0845 610 1112, or from a Jobcentre Plus, hospital and some GP surgeries.

Disabled Student's Allowance (DSA)
DSA provide extra financial help if you are a student with a disability. They are available on top of the standard student finance package and don't have to be repaid.
The method of application varies depending on your type of course, see DSA - How to Apply.

With the variety of benefits out there, and length of claim forms, you might find the application process overwhelming. However there are charities which can help identify the benefits that you may be entitled to and assist you in making successful applications, for example Citizens Advice Bureaux and Mind.

EntitledTo is a useful website which can help calculate means-tested benefits for you an your family.

The Blame Game

2009-10-03T23:31:00.012+01:00

Do men always play the victim when a woman stands up to them, or is it just when I do it?

For example:

Me: "I am not happy about you flattening that small child with your sledge hammer."

He: "I can't believe you are being so confrontational about this. Why are you so rude? You have ruined my evening."