The Bipolar Bisexual

Fury at The Sun's "Killer Schizo" story

2009-11-18T12:55:00.009Z

Yesterday The Sun printed a damaging and ignorant story about an escaped woman convicted of manslaughter, Patricia Gillette, who suffers from schizophrenia.

Fury at escape of killer schizo

According to an article by Time to Change, Rethink does not think using the word "schizo" is acceptable. Neither do I.

However my main concern is not about the use of an abbreviation which has become widely used as a derogatory term, but about the misrepresentation of schizophrenia in the press.

Whenever somebody suffering from schizophrenia behaves in a violent way, it gets reported in the press and the word "schizophrenic" is thrown in there like it's a predictable explanation. However there are over 600,000 people with schizophrenia in the UK and the vast majority are not violent and never have been.

Granted, newspapers are more likely to pick up on an escaped killer story than a respectable schizophrenic working in a charity shop, but because of the stigma surrounding mental health, I would like to see stories such as that of Patricia Gillette, written up in such a way that they don't propagate inaccurate negative attitudes towards people with schizophrenia.

One example might be, "Patricia Gillette is one of the minority of criminals who suffer from schizophrenia. Schizophrenic people are 14 times more likely to be the victim of violence than the perpetrator." ¹

Update 18/11/2009 17:30:
The Sun have retitled the article "Fury at shop escape of killer"

References:
Schizophrenia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Should sexuality be included in the 2011 Census?

2009-11-15T14:54:00.004Z

What do you think about this?
Census may ask individuals to disclose sexual preference

The Equality and Human Rights Commission argues that knowing how many homosexuals there are in Britain, and what jobs they do, will improve equality legislation. They say by excluding the question it would be "an indication of invisibility" and "a major obstacle to measuring progress on tackling discrimination."

The Office for National Statistics believe the question would be unlikely to provide a true picture because sexuality is so complex. 390,127 people (almost 0.8 percent) stated their religion as Jedi on their 2001 Census forms, which shows how misleading census data can be.

Ann Widdecombe says, "It is people’s own business. It is not anyone else’s business and I don’t see why anyone should be asked to declare it."

Tips for Bipolar Travellers

2009-11-15T13:43:00.004Z

With the weather plummeting into sogginess and the dark evening closing in on us, it's tempting to leap on a plane to the southern hemisphere to fend off impending Seasonal Affective Disorder. However travelling can be somewhat tricky for people with mental health problems because it disrupts the routines that are central to our stability.

But why should we miss out on the joys of travel when, with a bit of foreword planning, holidays can be rewarding and relaxing experiences? Below are some things to consider if you're bipolar and planning on satisfying your wanderlust.

Talk to your healthcare professionals
You will be aware of how your illness affects you and to what degree you can cope with change, however it never hurts to get a second opinion and so talking to your doctor/CPN might be helpful.

Try and stay in a similar time zone
The more you need to adjust your sleeping pattern, the harder it will be to adapt to the new location so if you have a choice of holiday destinations, try and pick the one closest in time zone to the area that you are travelling from. If you do decide to travel afar, plan for a few relaxed days at the beginning of your trip to allow you time to adjust and make sure that you have some free time after the trip, to readjust back to your home routine.

Journey at sensible times
Although flights can be cheaper if you travel at anti-social times of day, bear in mind that going on a holiday is going to require a lot of adjustments to your routine anyway, having a disturbed night's sleep certainly won't help.

Choose a suitable holiday
Whilst I don't think we should let our health problems frighten us away from enjoying life, we do need to be realistic. It's not fair that a 18-30s 24/7 clubbing adventure in Ibiza might send us into mania, but it's unlikely that many of us could cope with that sort of trip. If you want to enjoy some partying, extreme sports or other stimulating activities make sure that they are within the context of a varied holiday that will allow you periods of relaxation in between.

You will find it much easier to manage your mood if you try and stay in one holiday destination than if you travel around a lot during the trip.

Choose supportive travel companions
People vary enormously in both their abilities and preparedness to help. Whilst you might love your best mate to bits, if she's likely to leave you depressed in the hotel alone so that she can go out clubbing, she's not a good choice of travelling companion. You need to be with friends who understand that you need to stick to a routine and who don't mind taking it easy should you find yourself suffering from mood swings during the trip. Discuss any health concerns with your companions before travelling.

Plan your medication is advance
If you're going on a short journey, make sure that you pick up enough medication to last the trip before you go, as it might be difficult to get a prescription abroad. Should you expect to be picking up meds during your trip, ask your doctor for a prescription in advance and make sure that he/she uses generic names as brand names may vary from country to country. You also need to check that your meds are licensed in the country that you are travelling to as it could be an offence to travel with them otherwise.

Travel insurance
Insurance can be expensive for those with pre-existing health problems, however MDF - The Bipolar Organisation should be able to help you there. The Summer 2007 edition of One in Four also suggests All Clear Travel, Travelbility and Free Spirit Travel Insurance.

Pack in advance
The journey itself is likely to be stressful so allow yourself a break between packing and travelling. Try and pack at least 24 hours in advance so that you don't feel stressed at the last minute.

Form a holiday routine
So your holiday routine is going to be a little different from your routine at home, but there doesn't mean that there can't be structure to your days. Try to stick to regular meals, take your meds at the same time each day and try and get full nights' sleep.

Prepare for the change in diet
Often holiday makers can find that the change in diet causes diarrhoea or constipation, these problems (especially the former) can affect the absorption of your medication and mess up your nutritional intake. If possible take some medicines like Imodium with you so that you can nip these problems in the bud.

Familiarise yourself with the health system abroad
It can be hard calling for help when we have half a dozen emergency contact numbers programmed into our phones, so we can really do without the hassle of having to fathom an unfamiliar medical service during a period of sickness. For this reason, before you travel, familiarise yourself with the health service in the country you are planning to visit and find out the best way to summon help.

Enjoy yourself
Whilst travelling can be challenging, don't expect failure. If you've planned ahead and are surrounded by supportive people, you should be able to have a relaxing and enjoyable holiday just like anybody else.

Got any positive (or negative) stories about travelling with bipolar disorder? If so, feel free to share them below.

Disability Living Allowance for Bipolar Disorder

2009-10-20T13:43:00.012+01:00

Many people arrived at my article on claiming benefits for bipolar disorder by asking Google, "Can you get DLA for bipolar disorder?" so I thought it was an area that I should visit in more depth.

Disability Living Allowance (DLA) is a UK government benefit for people under 65 with care needs, and broadly speaking, yes, you can get it for bipolar disorder, but it depends on the severity of your symptoms and how it impacts on your life.

Why should you apply for DLA?
Although the application forms can seem very daunting, if you are entitled to DLA then it's worth applying because:
- DLA for bipolar disorder is likely to be between £18 and £88 per week.
- DLA is not taxable
- It's not mean-tested
- It's disregarded as income for most means-tested benefits
- If you live alone it may trigger the Severe Disability Premium, which can bring about increases in your means-tested benefits, such as housing benefit, council tax benefit and income support.

The problems
Although the Directgov states that DLA is for people who are "physically OR mentally disabled" many of the questions on the form are not mental health friendly and it can be difficult to convey your care needs within the framework provided.
In addition to this, writing about your troubles can be draining which can stop you from painting an accurate picture of just how debilitating your problem might be.
Another problem is that many DLA claims are turned down at first, but change on appeal. Those of us suffering from depression may become despondent and not complete the claim/appeal process.

What to do?
I cannot stress enough, the benefit of having somebody to help you with the form. In order to maximise your chances of success, you should consider enlisting the support of somebody from a charity that deals specifically with mental health problems, e.g. Mind. If you have a Community Psychiatric Nurse (CPN) then he/or she may also be able to help you find somebody to help with the claim.

To make an application you will need an application pack (ref DLA 1) which you can download from the directgov website, telephone the Benefits Enquiry Line on 0800 882200 or ask for one at your local DWP office.

Is it worth applying? Needs Checklist
If you have any of the following needs (adapted from benefitsinmind.org.uk) then it is worth reading on, to find out what level of DLA you may be entitled to.
Attention needs

You need encouragement get out of bed in the morning
You need help motivating yourself to get dressed
You need to be reminded/encouraged to take your medication
You need encouragement to be active within your home
You need encouragement to take part in hobbies or social life
You need encouragement to communicate with others
You need help with your paperwork
You need encouragement to make yourself wash bath regularly
You need help to eat properly and regularly
You need help to cook a main meal
You need help getting to bed / sleep at nights
You self-harm
You feel suicidal
You can get aggressive
The way you are makes other people react aggressively to you
Your concentration is very poor, e.g. you don't make sure that fires are safely out, leave cigarettes burning etc.
You have ideas or thoughts that frighten you into behaviour which could be dangerous
You wander off
You put yourself in situations where others could take advantage of you
When you become more unwell it happens very quickly
When you become unwell you try to hide it from others

Mobility needs

You have panic attacks out of doors in unfamiliar places
Anxiety that makes it hard for you to concentrate / communicate
You hear voices which distract you
You suffer from paranoid feelings
You put yourself at risk in some way

What level may I be entitled to?
Mobility - Lower Rate.
This is paid to you if you need someone with you when you are in unfamiliar places. Think about times when you go out alone to new places, do you suffer from panic attacks, become so anxious that you get lost or put yourself at risk? If so, you may be eligable for the DLA lower rate mobility component.

Mobility - Higher Rate.
You are unlikely to receive the DLA higher rate mobility component for bipolar disorder alone. However if you also have a physical disability, check the enitlement critera on benefitsInMind.org.uk.

Care - Lower Rate
If you have care needs (for example needing encouragement to get out of bed, take your medication or help with your paperwork) for short periods during the day, probably amounting to around an hour, you may be entitled to the DLA lower rate care component. You may also be entitled to this component if you have difficulty cooking for yourself. So if there are days where the prospect of cooking a hot meal seems so overwhelming to you that you don't bother, make sure that you put that on the form.

Care - Middle Rate
If you have care needs on and off throughout the day, need someone close by to keep an eye on you, or have care needs more than once or for over 20 minutes at night, you may be entitled to the DLA middle rate care component.
Are you sometimes at risk of self-harm and need somebody nearby in case you become suicidal or inclined to hurt yourself? Does bipolar disorder lower your concentration, leading you to do unsafe things such as forgetting to turn off the hobs? If so, these are attention needs and will help a decision maker ensure that you get the correct amount of DLA.

Care - Higher Rate
If you have difficulties requiring care and attention frequently throughout the day and night then you may be entitled to the DLA higher rate care component.

If you have both mobility and care needs then you will be awarded both components and the amounts will be added together.

For more information see www.benefitsInMind.org.uk.

Make Your Views On Care in the UK Heard

2009-10-08T19:57:00.004+01:00

I was stopped in town today by some people researching opinions for The Big Care Debate.

According to their website:

The UK Government is working to create a new National Care Service for England that is fair, simple and affordable. How should it be structured and paid for? Tell us what you think of the options for reform. This is the Big Care Debate.

You can make your feedback on their new plans heard by completing The Big Care Questionnaire.

Benefits for People with Bipolar Disorder in the UK

2009-10-06T11:17:00.003+01:00

Whilst the process of claiming benefits in the UK can seem daunting, there are a variety of benefits available for people suffering from bipolar disorder, which vary according to a range of factors, for example the severity of your symptoms, home situation and availability for work. Below is an overview of the main the welfare benefits you may be able to claim if you are under 65 and bipolar.

Note: this is a guide only. Entitlement conditions are complex and you should check the rules before applying.

Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
ESA replaced Incapacity Benefit in Autumn 2008. If you have limited capacity for work, then you may be eligible to claim this benefit. It also offers personalised support geared towards getting people (back) into suitable employment. The rate depends on your age, National Insurance contributions, nature of your disability, willingness to try work-related activities etc.
ESA is administered by the Department of Work and Pensions (DWP) and you can begin your application using their claim line: 0800 055 66 88.

Disability Living Allowance (DLA)
This is a tax-free benefit designed to cover additional costs of living caused by your illness. There are two components, mobility and care, which come at different levels. However the DLA application form does not seem to have been designed with the mentally ill person in mind, so you may need help from somebody experienced in claiming benefits in order to maximise your chances of success. I applied for DLA myself and got a small amount of money but I reapplied a few months later with the help of an employee of Mind and was awarded a much more reasonable sum of money. Benefits in Mind have published a useful guide about claiming DLA if you have a mental problem rather than a physical one.
DLA is administered by the DWP and you can apply online or call their enquiry line: 0800 88 22 00.

Income Support (IS)
This is a means tested benefit designed to make sure that a household has enough money to live on. If you're registered sick or disabled and have savings of less than £16,000 you may be entitled to IS.
IS is administered by and you may claim by telephone: 0800 055 6688.

Housing Benefit (HB)
If you are in rented accommodation you may be eligible for HB to cover either the whole, or part of your rent. As I understand it, if you get IS you should get full HB, but if not it will be calculated based on your circumstances.
HB is administered by your local council and you apply for HB and CTB together on a HCTB1 form which you can get from your local council offices.

Council Tax Benefit (CTB)
If you have a low income and have little capital, you may be eligible for CTB.
To apply, see notes above on HB.

Working Tax Credits (WTC)
If you are disabled but employed for 16 hours or more per week, you may be entitled to WTC.
Tax credits are administered by HM Revenue and Customs and you can request a claim form on 0845 300 3900 or pick one up at you local Job Centre Plus.

Statutory Sick Pay (SSP)
If you're an employee and unable to work because you're ill you may be able to get SSP. It is paid by your employer and can be paid for up to 28 weeks.
To get SSP you must tell your employer that you are sick and may be required to submit medical evidence.

Help with Healthcare Costs
If you are in receipt of IS, you will automatically qualify for free prescriptions, sight tests etc; however if not, you can apply for an HC2 or HC3. These are certificates provided on a means-tested basis, which entitle you to money off health costs.
You apply to the Department of Healh, on an HC1 form which you can get using their order line: 0845 610 1112, or from a Jobcentre Plus, hospital and some GP surgeries.

Disabled Student's Allowance (DSA)
DSA provide extra financial help if you are a student with a disability. They are available on top of the standard student finance package and don't have to be repaid.
The method of application varies depending on your type of course, see DSA - How to Apply.

With the variety of benefits out there, and length of claim forms, you might find the application process overwhelming. However there are charities which can help identify the benefits that you may be entitled to and assist you in making successful applications, for example Citizens Advice Bureaux and Mind.

EntitledTo is a useful website which can help calculate means-tested benefits for you an your family.

The Blame Game

2009-10-03T23:31:00.012+01:00

Do men always play the victim when a woman stands up to them, or is it just when I do it?

For example:

Me: "I am not happy about you flattening that small child with your sledge hammer."

He: "I can't believe you are being so confrontational about this. Why are you so rude? You have ruined my evening."

The Bipolar Bisexual Sells her Soul to Facebook

2009-09-23T12:43:00.006+01:00

I have finally succumbed to the Facebook pressure!

Now you can follow me on Facebook for:
- updates about new posts
- links to related material elsewhere on the web
- discussions about mental health / sexuality
- networking with other people with similar interests
- extra nibble-sized snippets of info that don't make it onto the main blog

For now the URL for my Facebook page is:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bipolar-Bisexual/138951489843

Home Moving Tips for People With Mental Health Issues

2009-06-12T14:32:00.005+01:00

Many mental illnesses can be eased by keeping to a structured routine, therefore big changes to our lifestyles can trigger psychological problems. This means that people with mental health problems such as bipolar disorder have to plan very carefully if they choose to move home. Here are some tips to help smooth the process.

1. Take exceptional care when choosing a new home

It seems obvious that you would chose a new home that satisfies your needs, however house hunting can take time and quickly becomes frustrating which can lead to making rash, panicked decisions. If possible take friends and family with you when viewing properties because they will help to keep you calm and sometimes notice things about a property that you might miss.

Our surroundings have a massive impact on our psychological well-being so be clear on what keeps you healthy, e.g. plenty of daylight.

2. Consult your GP/CPN/ Mental Health Coordinator

If you have a mental health worker assigned to you then talk to them about your move, they will be able to suggest ways to smooth the process and, if you move to a new area, they should be able to help find you mental health provision in your new location.

3. Don't do it alone

Accept help from friends and family. Someone once told me that asking somebody for help is the greatest gift you can give them - I'm not sure that everybody agrees, but certainly the people who love you would not want to see you get ill if they could prevent it. So let them help pack, move boxes/furniture and assist you with paperwork and admin tasks.

4. Break the move down into smaller tasks and make lists

There is so much to consider when you move home that it can seem overwhelming. However if you sit down and make a list of everything that needs doing and break daunting tasks into smaller ones, the move will seem much more manageable.

5. Don't skip meals

Regular, wholesome meals have been shown to have a huge impact on mental well-being. Make sure that even when you are at your busiest, you still find time for meals. Consider healthy ready meals or easy cook pasta if you are too busy to prepare a meal from scratch.

6. Look after your sleep

It is very easy to have late nights when you've got a lot to do, or to lie awake worrying about the move. Make sure that you get physical exercise during the day, try to avoid caffeine and alcohol, and make sure that your room is dark when you go to bed. For supper, warm milk, a low-sugar wholegrain cereal or chamomile tea, might help you to sleep well. You could also try relaxation techniques like yoga.

7. Don't forget to keep your prescriptions up to date

It can be easy, in all the chaos, to forget to pick up a repeat prescription or neglect to make sure that you have enough to last you the move. If your relocation requires you to change doctor then don't forget that it might take up to two weeks to get registered with a new doctor, so ask your existing doctor for a prescription to carry you over.

8. Get your phone line set up in advance

Communication is very important for a number of reasons, perhaps you need social contact with your friends to stop you from becoming depressed or perhaps you just need to know that there is a means of calling a crisis line is, should you need it. You can usually get a phone line set up in advance by calling service providers. If you are planning on relying on a mobile then make sure that there is a network signal at the new property or nearby.

9. Be benefits organised

If you are unfit to work and so rely on welfare benefits then make sure that you find out how to transfer your benefits before you actually move to avoid losing money. Some applications such as for Housing Benefit need to be done very early during a tenancy so plan ahead. The benefits system can be very difficult to understand and if you have problems with this area then your local Citizen's Advice Bureau will be able to help.

10. Find time to enjoy your new neighbourhood

When you move to a new home it might be very easy to get swamped in unpacking and letter writing, however make sure that you set aside time to explore and enjoy your neighbourhood. Unpacking doesn't have to be done right away, looking after your health does.

Furniture for families on low income

2009-06-12T14:26:00.002+01:00

If you're living in the Exeter area and have any good quality furniture you don't need anymore then you could do far worse than donating it to Turntable. They collect most household items and then redistribute them to families in need.

Turntable may also be of interest to my readers with mental health problems that prevent them from working because Turntable delivers furniture to those in receipt of means-tested benefits, for a very reasonable fee.

How much do I hate "The L Word" finale?

2009-04-02T18:51:00.012+01:00

I don't know why I'm surprised that a show that takes itself as seriously as The L Word, and frequently shifts genres to suit itself, would end its closing season with ends more loose than Shane's knickers.

Perhaps Ilene Chaiken fancies herself as the lesbian David Lynch, and if so, I think she's seriously misjudged her audience. Most L Word viewers are not there for the artistic style, we're there for the false hope the show gives us by creating a feel good universe full of successful, good-looking lesbians who mingle with other successful, good-looking lesbians.

Some of us may kid ourselves that we're interested in its occasional political storyline such as the military's policy on gay recruits or same sex adoption, but really what we want is to watch pretty women drifting in and out of love. The show handled romance so much better than it ever did anything else, even if the sex scenes were often contrived.

By failing to tie up the loose ends, and leaving many of the key characters we've grown to know and love, alone, the script writers have robbed us of the very thing we watch the show to achieve, the feel good factor.

As for the self-indulgent, surreal music video at the end? Words cannot convey how embarrassed I was when I watched it. I love to see a cast bow at the end of a performance when I'm at the theatre! There was something about Bette reaching for Jenny's hand as they all walk towards the camera in evening dresses with their hair blowing in the wind, that really cemented my suspicion that The L Word is little more than a mediocre pile of pretentious daydreams that achieved way more time in the spotlight than it actually deserved.

I am furious - Reporting bias in Deliberate Self-Harm Cases

2009-03-21T17:36:00.003Z

I have never self-harmed because of a relationship break down; I am good at coping with difficult situations when I'm well. On the other hand bipolar disorder has put me in hospital at least a dozen times. Why then do I repeatedly read medical reports stating that I've self-harmed because of a break-up with "the boyfriend?" I haven't even been in a relationship with a man for over four years!

There I am in the Accident and Emergency unit, a police car or the 136 room at a psychiatric hospital, clearly having a mental catastrophe and some smart ass sees fit to focus on whatever tiny crack in my romantic life may have sent me spiralling into sickness, rather than the much stronger contributory factor, bipolar disorder.

Typically something annoying triggers a mood swing and things rapidly escalate so much so that the resulting crisis doesn't actually reflect the trigger at all. Because triggers are often of a romantic nature, professionals tend to assume from my levels of distress that a serious relationship has ended when actually the initial trigger could be something as trivial as somebody I'd been on one date with not answering their phone for 1 hour. No matter how many details they learn about the situation, "Row with boyfriend" sticks in their minds. The facts that they arrived at "row" from "didn't hug me for very long when he said goodbye" and "boyfriend" from "guy I've fancied for two weeks" don't seem to factor in their interpretation of the situation.

During my last trip to hospital I found a psychologist who listened. I admitted that I had experienced a minor disappointment with a potential love interest but that it was the sort of thing that warranted a couple of days of sulking, nothing more. I explained that the situation only represented about 10% of the problem and that bipolar disorder was the main bad guy. Afterwards I thanked her for listening rather than presuming I was deeply heartbroken.

However today I got a copy of her report. I read the opening sentence with fury,
"Difficulty accepting recent relationship break-up." It then went on to say, "The patient feels that the precipitants to this presentation to A&E are not associated with her bipolar disorder."

She actually wrote down the exact opposite of the point I laboured hard to make. Fortunately the rest of the report was very thorough, but this represents a recurrent problem with the system. How much damage is being made by hospital staff assuming that behind every self-harming young woman there is a boyfriend packing his bags?

Queer? Suffering from a mental health problem? Welsh?

2009-01-28T10:37:00.004Z

In partnership with Mind Cymru, Hafal and Journeys, Stonewall Cymru are currently conducting the first ever all Wales research project into the views and needs of those who are lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB) and have experiences of mental health issues. To find out more about the project and to fill in the survey in, please visit:

www.stonewallcymru.org.uk

I think it's just for Welsh people, but if a UK blog called "The Bipolar Bisexual" can't attract suitable participants, I don't know what can! Well, maybe the health services and the LGBt community, but just let me feel useful, OK?

Time To Change - Fighting Discrimination

2009-01-24T15:06:00.003Z

Mental Health Media, Mind, and Rethink are running the Time To Change Campaign, designed to challenge people's inaccurate beliefs about mental health.

I've had a quick gander and it looks like an extremely worthwhile and comprehensive campaign.

One of its strengths is that it uses examples of real people, both public figures and members of the general public, to illustrate that those of us with mental health problems are diverse, non-violent, employable and datable humans just like everybody else.

Their website also includes details are how to seek professional help and how to help a friend who may be suffering from a mental health problem.

Instant Happiness

2009-01-09T16:37:00.003Z

I've found two new techniques for improving mood in six minutes. Combined they are very effective.

1. Body butter - comes in a variety of delicious flavours. Apply liberally.

2. Esther Ekhart's Happy for no reason - Yoga. It's quick, easy and uplifting.

Straight Man Subjected to Homophobic Bullying Wins Appeal

2009-01-09T16:05:00.004Z

I'm glad to see a clamp down on using homosexuality as a derogatory term in the workplace.

A happily married straight man, Stephen English, was subjected to bullying in the workplace when employees constantly called him "faggot" and published a story about him wearing skin tight lycra shots to Brighton Pride.

His former employers argued that he was not subject to harassment based on his sexual orientation because he his colleagues new he wasn't really gay.

The Court of Appeal granted that homophobic "banter" constitutes harassment regardless of the orientation of the victim.

I'm delighted at the ruling. Why should a straight person not be entitled to protection from homophobic bullying just because he doesn't happen to be gay?

10 Things I Hate About Couples

2009-01-07T16:04:00.004Z

1. Couples Dialect

Why is it that lovestruck people add letters to perfectly functional words? For example sleep becomes shleep, duck becomes ducky and, god forbid, kiss, becomes kissy-wissy?

2. Pet names for each other

Most people have a name. Some people are called Bob, or Robert if you want to be formal. His mum calls him Bob, his doctor calls him Bob, his best mate calls him Bob, so why in the world does he want his loved one to call him Polarbear Cakes Tinsel Toes?

3. Pet names for each others genitals

Granted, most people do manage to steer clear of this one, but not all. If you must name your girlfriend's breasts Morecambe and Wise, at least have the decency not to use it in public.

4. When they assume that everybody else wants to be part of a couple too

No, I really don't want you to set me up with your single office mate, I don't care if he's won employee of the month, twice. Yes I know everybody else at the dinner party is bringing a date, I'm going to bring a soul.

5. When they answer for each other

Nothing is worse than listening to Ross tell you that Rachel doesn't like peas, when she's sat right next to you. Has she lost the power of speech? Has she forgotton her legume preferences? Was she undecided and waiting on her boyfriend's permission to enjoy greens?

6. When they bicker in front of you

Granted, there probably are some rows so urgent that they can't wait; I'm yet to witness one of those. I have however witnessed "Which one of us is setting the alarm for tomorrow morning?" and "I thought you said you had chicken at lunch time?"

7. When they use each other's names as passwords

If I cared enough about identity theft to pinpoint a target, I'd probably care enough to find out the name of my victim's boyfriend.

8. When they buy each other cuddly toys

I have a friend who hates stuffed animals. She's the least feminine person I've ever met. Her bedroom is full of hiking gear, Chelsea merchandice and BMX parts. So why was she so delighted when her boyfriend gave her a soft bear holding a plastic heart?

9. When they have faux break-up crises

There are some couples who were destined to marry from the first moment they set eyes on each other. They're not going to break up, they know they're not going to break up, you know they're not going to break up, yet one of them has to repeatedly burst through your door crying, "I think I have to leave him!"

10. That I don't have a partner to lead by example

Perhaps couples wouldn't annoy me quite so much if I could remember what it felt like to take genuine pleasure in naming a stuffed animal after my boyfriend's cock.

How not to appeal to me on a dating website #941562

2009-01-06T22:45:00.002Z

Q. What's the definition of 'bipolar'?
A. ...A sexually curious bear

Strangely enough, I didn't advertise my mental health problem when I wrote a profile for a dating website, so the guy who sent me that joke was just exceptionally unlucky.

A Warning About Photo Machines

2009-01-06T13:42:00.003Z

Beware! If you put a memory stick into one of Boots' photo printing machines, rather than letting you drill through the directory structure, it loads in every jpeg on the card, for you to scroll through one at a time.

This can be very embarrasing, particularly if you have an ex who sends you photos of his willy in a misguided attempt to get you back.

Can YouTube tell you whether or not you are gay?

2008-12-27T17:32:00.004Z

"If you don't know whether You Are Gay, Lesbian Or Bisexual, you may check [broken url]. The psychotherapist Dominic Davies will tell you the answer." Or so says a comment spammer.

Great, so I've wasted 10 years pondering my sexuality when I could have just spent £70 on a shrink and had done with it.

Obviously.

Katy Perry's Suspect Bipolar Reference

2008-12-10T00:01:00.002Z

Just when I thought I had zero tolerance for Katy Perry I found it was possible to dislike her on whole new levels. I noticed that in addition to her homophobic lyrics, she's not exactly helping promote tolerance towards mental health problems.

To me, her song "Hot 'N' Cold" says "You're like someone with bipolar disorder and I hate that about you."

She rants about how much she hates a lover being indecisive and then compares his behavior to someone with bipolar disorder:

"Someone call the doctor
Got a case of love bipolar
Stuck on a roller coaster
And I can't get off this ride..."

Granted, it's used as a metaphor for the ups and down of being in love but perhaps I'd find it less annoying if it was sung in a less angry voice and did not follow remarks like:

"Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch."

Also unimaginative, trivial lyrics such as:
"We fight we break up,
We kiss we make up."

don't exactly inspire me to believe that she understands the depth of the problem that she's happy to chuck into her music for the want of a better rhyme for "roller coaster."

Now all she needs to do is insult The Cornish as she'll complete the set.

Stupid things that Katy Perry has said

2008-12-03T20:51:00.004Z

"All these songs are very personal, they’re straight out of a 'dear diary' situation...[but] my Anne Frank is now being exposed to the world."
Anne Frank? Don't flatter yourself love.

"It [her song 'UR so gay'] is kind of like Alanis Morisette’s "'You Oughta Know.'"
Again with the flattery.

"My closest friends happen to be gay..."
Before or after you wrote two embarrassingly offensive songs?

"Umm… Well, it [the expression 'UR so gay'] is just a saying. It's like calling someone a 'biiitch.' You're like, 'Hey, biiitch!' It just felt appropriate."
And they're really still your friends?

"It's not what good girls do." - her lyrics
So you are saying lesbianism is bad?

"I think gay people have a wonderful sense of humour."
Not a cross section of personalities like the population in general?

"Love it, hate it, [her song 'I kissed a girl'] for me it was about us girls."
Watch Alex Parks sing - she sings to a girl. When you're on stage, you're talking to a man, or rather men.

"My music makes pop-music cool again."
If by "cool" you mean homophobic and knife worshipping.

"There are a few songs that will make you cry."
How about bash my forehead against a wall?

"But nothing beats being up on stage in front of all that energy."

Best make sure you can stay up at your next gig then. I know even the best of us have been foiled by a giant cake.

Sources:
The New Gay
Prefix Mag
Out.com

Sex - Informed Consent and Mental Illness

2008-12-03T20:39:00.002Z

I've been trying to research the law on people having sex when they are not mentally stable enough to give meaningful consent.

Obviously it can be difficult for a person to accurately assess a partner's state of mind but let's say, for sake of argument, that Person A is definitely aware that Person B has bipolar disorder and would not consent to sex if he or she was not manic. Would Person A be breaking the law to have sex with Person B?

What are your thoughts on the morality of sleeping with a bipolar sufferer in a manic phase?

Is Overdiagnosis of Bipolar Disorder Really Worse then the Ilness Itself?

2008-12-01T14:48:00.002Z

"Overdiagnosis of bipolar disorder may be worse than the illness" says Mark Zimmerman in Taipei Times.

This horrifies me. Whilst I can see that there are far-reaching consequences to being misdiagnosed (the effect of the self-fulfilling prophecy, potential side effects of unneccessary medication) having suffered from agonising, life-threatening depression and mania, I find it hard to accept that not having bipolar disorder could be worse than having bipolar disorder, except in the case that another, equally debilitating illness is not being treated.

Whilst meds can produce potentially significant health complications affecting renal, endocrine, hepatic, immunologic, or metabolic function, this is becoming less and less likely as medicine advances.

Telling somebody with a transient spell of depression that they had a chronic mental illness would no doubt be distressing, but surely it's better to have a good prognosis that you don't know about than to have bipolar disorder.

As it happens, Zimmerman's research is more focussed on the degree to which bipolar disorder is overdiagnosed than an evaluation of exactly how damaging a wrong diagnosis can be, despite the unfortunately misleading title.

Spammers Selling Meds for Bipolar Disorder

2008-11-28T13:38:00.002Z

I would just like to make it clear that regardless of any spam comments that have or will be left on this blog (and subsequently deleted) I DO NOT endorse internet sites selling supposed drugs for bipolar disorder.

Not only do I find it pathetic that they would see fit to leave a comment telling me what bipolar disorder is without stopping to consider whether someone writing as "The Bipolar Bisexual" might already have a reasonable grasp of what the illness entails, but it is entirely irresponsible to encourage anybody to go on mood altering medication without a thorough medical consult.