The Birth of a Mother

Happy 3 Months, Smiles!: Deacon's 3 Month Milestones

2014-09-06T11:15:00.000-04:00

Deacon,

You are 3 months old!! That's 1/4 of a year! Whoa! Should I start planning your 1st birthday party now? Just kidding… kind of. I absolutely can not even express to you the joy that you and your brother bring to my life every single day. Lately, I have been just bursting with happiness and emotions that are almost overwhelming. My heart is so full and when I wake up every morning I know I am right where I'm meant to be in this world. You and your brother have given me that gift. I just feel so blessed to be your Momma.

You have hit some pretty great milestones this month. Overall, you are just becoming more of a baby day by day vs a tiny newborn. You are very aware of the world around you, and are constantly looking all around trying to figure it all out. You have a mirror that hangs from your play mat that you stare into for such long periods of time- making faces and sounds and it's almost like you are playing with your reflection as if it were another baby. It's pretty funny to watch and I just wonder what's going through your little head.

You are so happy and content. I can't believe how laid back you are. The older you get and the more I get to witness this character trait, the more you remind me of my dad. He is the most laid back person I know, and such an amazing man in general. He loves you very much! I know you will have a special relationship with him… I just feel it.

I love you so much, Smiles. If you could control it even a little, I'd ask you to slow down… stop growing even for just a little while, but I know you can't, and so I will soak up every day with you and treasure every moment. I truly mean that, little one. I have stepped back from social media considerably in order to *live more deeply. be more present. not miss a moment.* You and your brother will not be this age forever and I intend to witness the moments fully; free from mindless distractions. I want to always give you my full attention and never have to regret missing an opportunity to play with you, build blocks with you, run with you, read to you, teach you… love you!

Happy 3 Months, Deacon!

I love you,
Momma

Deac- You are the luckiest little brother in the world. Sylas just absolutely adores you. Every single morning he asks you "How was your sleep, Deacon? Did you have sweet dreams?" Then constantly throughout the day he randomly hugs you tight and says "I love you, Deacon!" He is always asking me when you will talk, when you will walk, when will you wear shoes? He is so excited to be your big brother, Deacon. You are in for a lifetime of fun adventures together, I just know it!

Sylas Says...

2014-08-22T08:39:00.002-04:00

I grouped all these together because they are all about Deacon and Sylas wanting more. Enjoy!

Sylas: I want my own Deacon. I want my own Deacon in my own belly.

Me: Hmmm… that might be a tough one, baby.

On a separate occasion:

Me: …just as soon as I feed Deacon.

Sylas: I'll feed bebe Deacon for you, Mommy. I have boobies, they're just small!

On a separate occasion:

Sylas: I want a bebe Deacon AND a bebe sisa. (sister)

Me: You do?!

Sylas: YES! I have a bebe sisa in my belly. Her name is Olizia (Olivia). She will come out in 20

minutes and I will feed her milkies.

He says things like this on a regular basis. I love it!

Sylas's 'Thomas the Train' Third Birthday Party

2014-08-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

As you know, my little man just turned 3!! It's so hard to believe he is already 3 years old. I remember the night he was born like it was just yesterday. It' so bittersweet to watch this little guy grow up right before my eyes. Each new stage is so fun and exciting, but it also means the previous stage has come to an end. As I've said before, sometimes I just wish I could freeze time.

This year for Sylas's 3rd Birthday Party, we knew we wanted to do something a little larger scale- something similar to his First Birthday Party. We knew being a new big brother of only 8 weeks would bring lots of changes, and we figured his birthday would be the perfect time to take the spotlight off the new baby for a moment and let the light shine on just him for a day… and that's just what we did! Of course, there had to be a theme, and what better theme than Sylas's current obsession- Thomas the Train!

Here are ~~a few~~ a ton of pictures of the day. Enjoy!

Sylas was so incredibly excited that he couldn't even smile a "regular" smile the entire day. He was a laughing, giggling mess and we enjoyed every minute of it. He really was so happy, and it felt great to make his day special!

Believe it nor not, I think this the first picture we have with all 4 of us!

As our guests arrived, this was one of the first decorations they saw. I actually made this balloon wreath for Sylas's First Birthday Party, so I just changed up the colors a bit for this party. Here is a tutorial on how I made the original balloon wreath three years ago.

We transformed our dining room to hold the food table, the dessert table, and the gifts area. This is where the majority of the decorations are.

Dessert Table:

I made this birthday banner and loved the way it turned out. I designed this one on my computer, so it's a little different than the one I made for Sy's First Birthday Party, but here is a tutorial for that banner to give you an idea of how simple it is.

I named each element/activity of the party with a track number. Everything was "Platform 3" since it's Sy's 3rd Birthday, and then the track numbers were different elements of the party. For instance, the Food was Track 1, the Dessert was Track 2, and the Gifts were Track 3. Activities were Tracks 4-8.

This was such an easy little thing to put together, yet I love the way it turned out. My in-laws had the over sized Thomas, and then I added the "log car" and the "coal car." I got the boxes at Target and just added the wheels, which I made from black scrapbook paper.

I initially only planned on having one cupcake tower, but once I planned out the exact set up of the table, I decided two would be cool and it would give the table a different look than the one at Sy's First Birthday Party. I made the towers the same way I made the one for his first birthday, and you can see that tutorial here. I also made the cupcake toppers the same way as last time, and that tutorial is here.

To drink, we had a lemonade in the "Water Tower" and "Diesel Fuel" (soda). We also had water and beer and that sign said "Chugga Chugga" ;)

For food we enjoyed chicken, shrimp, and veggie kabobs, chicken salad croissants, fruit, and orzo salad. I also had a separate table set up in the kitchen with veggies, chips and salsa, and pita chips and hummus. For the kiddos, we served "Farmer McColls Pigs in a Blanket," "Choo Choo Chicken" (chicken nuggets), and "Station House Sandwiches" (PB&J cut into shapes with a cookie cutter).

I made the food and dessert labels in a similar way to how I made them for Sy's First Birthday Party, and you can find that tutorial here.

On our console table in the foyer, I set up a little display of the birthday invitation as well as Sylas's Birthday Book for all the guests to sign. The Birthday Book is a tradition I started this year. It holds an "Interview with Sylas" as well as 2 birthday pictures and all the guest's special notes. I will write a separate post with the details of the book later this week.

Track 3 - Gifts!

This birthday banner is actually the very first decoration I made for the party and it got all my creative juices flowing! I made the entire banner out of scrapbook paper, and it was pretty easy. The hardest part was the Thomas on either end of the banner, but once I made the first one, I had a template for the second one! The frame on the left is the Thomas theme song, and the picture of Sylas is from his first birthday.

This is a banner I found at Party City. I had my husband hang it above our front door. It looked awesome up so high.

And what would a party be without wonderful guests to celebrate with?

Birthday Boy with Nonna, Poppy, Uncle Brian, and Daddy. (This is my husbands family.)

Birthday Boy with Aunt Patra (my sister), Uncle Joe, Collin, and Caley

Birthday Boy with Uncle Brian (Dan's Brother)

Birthday Boy with his Great Uncle Rob, Great Aunt Nancy, Hayden, and Emily (My husbands Aunt, Uncle, and Cousins)

Birthday Boy with "Miss Tiff" (Our great friend, Tiffany)

The next three adorable little guests are Sylas's best buds from our playgroup- "The Little Pickles"

Birthday Boy with the Taylor's (Our friends and neighbors)

Birthday Boy with The Matterface's

Birthday Boy with The Niblett's

We had a few activities for the kids to do rather than just have a ton of Sylas's toys out in the living room. I did have a few small things out, but most of the toys stayed upstairs in the playroom.

Like I said earlier, Tracks 1-3 were "Good Eats," "Dessert," and "Gifts."

Track 4 - Pin the Smoke Stack on Thomas

The kids had a lot of fun with this. I didn't blindfold them because I think they are just a tad too young for that. I didn't want tears, just laughs and good times!

Track 5 - Red Light/Green Light

This activity was just a simple box that I turned into Thomas and train tracks that I laid in our foyer with the help of hubby and our friend, Tifffany. (I thought the tracks looked so cool, and we got lots of compliments on them!) The tracks were simply made from laying black electrical tape.

I figured the kids could play Red Light/Green Light or just run up and down the tracks "choo choo-ing" with the Thomas box.

Track 6 - Thomas Tattoos

I don't really have pictures of this. :( It's unfortunate, because the kids really loved the tattoos. Sylas wore his for an entire week and showed it to everyone!

Track 7 - Coloring Station

I printed up some Thomas coloring pages, set out new crayons and Voila! The kids loved it!

Track 8 - Trains!

Would it be a Thomas the Train party if we didn't have the tracks set up with tons of trains to play with??

Other than the planned activities, we handed out kazoos and blowouts and of course, the kids loved those!

After lots of good food and games, it was finally time to sing "Happy Birthday!" Just look at Sy checking out his cupcake and licking his lips! I'm such an overly emotional person, and it took a lot of will power not to cry when we sang to him. There were tears, but they were wiped away quickly and no one knew. Whew! I didn't want people thinking I am ridiculous.

And after cupcakes… it was finally time to open gifts! Sylas was so excited! I have to say, though, that I was so incredibly proud of him. For weeks, he was very excited about his birthday, and as the anticipation grew, so did the knowledge and understanding that people would most likely bring a gift. He began to get so excited about the gifts that he would say things like "I'm gonna say 'That's MINE!' or 'I not let my buddies touch my gifts.'" I was not a fan of this attitude…

Leading up to the party I talked with him about it a lot. One thing we did was purposely let Sylas make the goody bags so that he would understand that he had gifts to give out as well. The morning of his party I talked to him a lot about how to be humble, and accept gifts graciously. I told him that he needed to be kind and grateful. I explained what it meant to be thankful and told him that sharing new things would be the most fun for everyone.

Well…. did he ever impress me beyond expectation!! He was so kind, and so thoughtful when opening his gifts. I explained to him that reading the card first was important, so he dug around looking for the cards first. For one of the first gifts, the little girl and boy who got him the gift were in the other room. Amongst his excitement, Sylas paused, ran into the other room yelling their names and said "Come on, come on. I gonna open your present!" Wow. I was impressed. In a time when it was easy to get caught up in the excitement, he knew that to be truly thankful, it would be nice if they could actually see him open the gift. Then, as you can see in the pictures below, he gave each child a hug after opening their gift and said "Thank you!"

Of course, as it went on, it got chaotic and harder for me to keep track of who gave what, but overall, I was so happy with how Sylas reacted to so much attention and so many gifts.

After Sylas opened his gifts, I had him personally hand out each goody bag. Like I said, I had Sylas assemble these, and he understood that this was his gift to his guests. He was very excited to hand them out and see his friends react. Giving truly is better than receiving.

Here are just a couple pictures of Sylas handing out the goody bags.

Well… that just about sums up Sylas's Third Birthday Party. I'm happy to say it was a huge success. It seemed like everyone had a really great time, and we know Sylas did!

Thank you to everyone who helped us celebrate and thank you to those who helped it all come together- my in-laws for going grocery shopping for us so I didn't have to go to the store with a 2 year old and a newborn and for letting us borrow various party essentials, Tiffany and my sister, Patra, for day before and day-of set-up and food prep, Collin, Caley, and Joe for keeping Sylas entertained so we could set-up, and the Taylor's for extra fridge space!!

We couldn't have done it without your help! We love you all.

Happy Birthday, Sylas! I hope this was a day you'll never forget (all these pictures will make sure of that!) You are so special and wonderful and we love you to the moon and back!

If you have any questions about any of the DIY elements, feel free to leave a comment or email me!

Look Alikes

2014-08-09T14:19:00.001-04:00

When I posted Deacon's 2 month milestones, I mentioned that I have decided who I think he looks like. After more than 2 months of staring at this sweet baby boy, I have decided to go with my gut feeling that he looks like my dad, which I mentioned in his 1 month milestones. My brother and I look just like my dad, and I don't have many baby pictures of my dad (in fact there is one in particular that I'm looking for that I can. not. find.) so I have decided to do some side by side pictures of me and my brother as well as Deacon and my brother.

This post comes to you on a very special day, as it is my brother's birthday! Unfortunately, my brother passed away when I was just 4 years old. For that reason in particular, it means a lot to me that Deacon looks like him (in my opinion). RIP sweet brother. I miss you more and more the older I get. I think of you nearly every single day. I love you very much.

This is my brother, Jimmy, on the left in early 1972 (less than 1 year old) and Deacon is on the right at 2 months old (July 2014). Jimmy is pictured here with his mom (we have different moms, but same dad and are technically 1/2 brother and sister, but I was never really one for technicalities).

On the left is my brother, Jimmy, at age 3 in 1974 and I am on the right at age 1 (almost 2) in 1987. Don't we look so similar? In my Dad's words: "I had twins with to different wives! Where's Jerry Springer when ya need him?" haha Good one, Daddy-O!

Below are baby pictures of me and Deacon. I am on the left at a few months old and Deacon on the right at 2 months old.

Here is a photo of my brother and me in 1986 for my Christening.

This is my favorite picture of my brother, Jimmy. I have it sitting on the ledge above my kitchen sink. He's always there with me when I'm doing dishes :)

And finally, this is my all time favorite picture of my Dad and brother together. Just look at my Dad's face. That smile is contagious… happiness in it's truest form.

So, there ya have it.. my humble opinion of who Deacon looks like. What do you think? Do you agree or think I am way off? It will be interesting to see what/who he looks like as he gets older. Have a great weekend, y'all!

Sylas Says...

2014-08-07T09:20:00.001-04:00

Dan: "Sylas, eat your eggs, buddy. They're good for you. You'll grow big and strong like Daddy."

Sylas: "I not want to get muscles and grow big and strong."

Dan and Me: "What?? You don't?!"

Sylas: "No. I too busy." (Pause) "I has stuss to do." (I have stuff to do.)

(Lots of laughter)

Sylas: "I'm not trying to play wiff you."

Sweet Brotherly Love… Part 2

2014-08-06T15:34:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I shared some snapshot pictures of the boys that I've randomly taken over the past two months since Deacon has come along, and I promised to share some more pictures today that I tried to make look more "professional."

I took these pictures when Deacon was just days old. I had a few poses in mind, but it was definitely challenging to get both boys to cooperate at the same time. Either Sylas was trying to talk to me or Deacon and Deacon was pictures ready, or Sylas was picture ready and Deacon was crying, or both boys were having a "Kodak Moment" and my flash was off… There were endless scenarios.

A ~~small~~ rather large bribe may have been involved for Sylas in exchange for his cooperation… ice cream and a new Thomas the Train engine. All in all, it was a lot of fun and these are what we were able to come up with. I do intend to attempt this again to get a few more adorable poses I have in mind now that Deacon is a tad bit older, and Sylas is more comfortable with Deacon.

You two light up my life every single day.

Like You for Forever, Love You for Always,

Momma

Brotherly Love

2014-08-05T10:47:00.002-04:00

Deacon is now 2 months old(!!) and I haven't shared any pictures of the boys together. I've talked about how sweet Sylas is with Deacon, but a picture is worth a thousand words.

Here are few snapshots of the boys over the past two months. Tomorrow I will share some pictures I took of the boys that I tried to make look "professional."

This was our first bedtime with both boys. What a precious memory that night is in my mind. Sylas wanted Deacon to stay with him in his big boy bed. Sylas was laughing with Deacon and talking to him like he could understand every word.

The next morning Sylas was "#1 Diaper Changer Helper." He grabbed that stool from his big boy room and put it right up next to the dresser so he could reach Deacon and see all the action.

These are just a few pictures of the boys laying together. In one, you can see Sylas is watching something on my phone. He truly loves just laying with Deacon for company. The other day he asked me if Deacon could take his nap on his play mat so he could stay downstairs and "play."

On more than a couple of occasions I have been doing laundry (which is right in front of Deacon's Nursery, and turned around to notice Sylas has gone to lay with Deacon. Here they are laying in Deacon's crib. Deacon is still sleeping… good thing he'll sleep through anything!

And this picture is right after I took Deacon's 2 month pictures. I was getting him re-dressed and Sylas climbed up in the rocker, stuck his arms out, and said, "I want to hold him. Take our picture, too!" and so I did. (A boy after my own heart- how could I resist the opportunity?) Three year olds change their mind fast so that's why Deacon's outfit is not even buttoned.

These past two months have been such an absolute joy. I've loved getting to see Sylas transform from an only child into an older brother. So many people will be fast to tell you that going from 1 to 2 is an absolute shock and your world will just be turned upside down. I beg to differ. My world is 100% right side up, I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and this whole family of four thing feels just right! (I do have to say that our smooth transition is due largely in part to the fact that Deacon is such a good baby and sleeps a lot, and we have had such amazing help from our parents and other family and friends. So, thanks y'all!)

Sy and Deac- I love you boys with all my heart and all that is me! You have such a sweet relationship that I pray continues to grow and blossom as you grow. You have a friend for life in each other! Never forget that.

Love,

Momma

Sylas Says...

2014-08-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

Me: "I have to clean the house."

Sylas: "Why? The huss eww?" (Why? The house is eww?)

Me: (laughing) "Yes, the house is 'eww'."

Sylas: "I not want the huss to be eww." (I don't want the house to be eww.)

Me: "Great, me either!"

Sylas Says...

2014-08-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

I haven't been very good at posting my little "Sylas Says…" posts, but I do have a bunch saved to the Notes App on my phone, so I just need to actually post them.

Here is one from sometime around last October:

Me: "Oh, no, no, baby. Don't ever put quarters in your mouth. They are very dirty and if you accidently swallow it you won't be able to breath."

Sylas: "I not wanny bweath!" (I don't want to breath.)

Me: "Well, I want you to breath so no quarters in your mouth."

Sylas: "O-day, Mommy." (OK, Mommy.)

Happy 3rd Birthday, My Little Monkey!

2014-07-31T11:42:00.000-04:00

Sylas,

I can't believe you are already 3 years old. You are growing and changing literally every single day. You are talking up a storm and there isn't anything you can't say. You are absolutely hilarious and your little personality is adorable.

Here are 5 totally awesome things about you right now at three years old:

1. You have the kindest heart, and even at the tender age of three I can honestly say you are as genuine as your father. You are thoughtful, observant, and intuitive. You truly care about other people and their feelings. It's amazing to witness your affection and hear the sweet things that come out of your mouth like "You look pretty, Mommy!" or "I luzz (love) you, Deacon."

One of my favorite things to witness is you singing or talking to your brother. If ever he is upset you go over to him and gently touch him face, saying "It's o-day (OK), Deacon. Mommy's coming." You very often sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to him, then run around the room, and then come right back to his side and say "What you doin' here, Deacon? Want to play?" Then you innocently look back up at me and report "Him said 'yes,' Mommy." Your affection combined with your imagination is an incredible thing to see.

2. You are incredibly independent. Nearly everything these days is "I can do it by mysess (myself)." Not only do you have all the confidence in the world, but you are quite successful with everything that you do by yourself. You can get yourself dressed, completely go to the bathroom on your own, get your own water from the spout on the fridge.. the list goes on. You absolutely love to help in the kitchen, as well, and you are quite the little chef!

3. You have a wild imagination. It is so fun to watch from a distance as you play. You can sit in the living room surrounded by Thomas the Train engines and you are happily in your own little world. You like to have the engines talk to each other and make up all kinds of games. Recently I heard you have a conversation that went something like this: "Hi, I'm Molly." "Oh! I'm Stafford." "Ok, follow me." The you proceeded to have Stafford follow Molly and they found a couple of other engines down the line.

You also love to play with balloons and you make up these elaborate games with them. Everything is a "race" and you always want to know who won. I don't know where you come up with some of this stuff, but it's awesome.

4. You love to look read. Of course, you can't actually read just yet, but you have an incredible memory and there are a few books that you can just about recite as Daddy and I read them to you. You find a lot of comfort in books and take them pretty literally. You always remember the author of every book and to listen to you try to say their names is so precious. "'Bluebewies for Sal' by Wobert Macoskey ('Blueberries for Sal' by Robert McCloskey)" you recite as we pick up one of your favorite stories. Adorable. Currently, some of your favorites include: "Dr. Dan the Bandage Man," "The Cat in the Hat," "Green Eggs and Ham," "The Very Busy Spider," and many more!

5. You are obsessed with bandaids and it's hilarious! This little obsession actually stems from one of your favorite books- "Dr. Dan the Bandage Man." Previous to us reading you this book you didn't like bandaids at all and were actually quite convinced that they hurt. Now you get the tiniest little boo boo and announce that you need a "ban ban" immediately. Just like with everything else, you open the bandaid and put it on your boo boo all by yourself. Then you like to monitor the boo boo and let us know your "boo boo is getting better all by itself because your body heals itself." (Your words!)

Oh, Sylas! If I could bottle you up and keep you here at this precious innocence forever I would, but I can't and so I do my best to preserve my memories on this blog. I do it for you and I do it for me. I want to remember you at this age forever.

I love you to the moon and back, Sylas, and as I sing to you every single day: "You are my Sunshine, my Only Sunshine…"

Love,
Momma

*Pictures of Sylas's 3rd Birthday Party coming soon*

Happy 2 Months, Sweet Boy: Deacon's 2 Month Milestones

2014-07-30T17:27:00.001-04:00

Deacon,

Hello sweet baby boy. Happy 2 Months of life! Where does the time go? I feel like it was just yesterday that I was holding you for the first time… introducing you to your big brother for the first time... studying your sweet face to figure out just who it is that you look like. Here we are two months later and you have already changed so much. You are not a "newbie" anymore! You have grown physically, you are interacting more, you have more awake time… and you smile! Yay! I love that smile! You are such an incredibly happy and content baby and in that way you remind me of your big brother.

You are growing like a weed! I have already had to clean out your closet and put away all "newborn" sized clothing. You are filling out size 0-3M clothes, and can even wear certain outfits that are 3-6M. That is unreal to me, and oh, so sad! I wish you could say little forever! Having to put away those tiny little clothes is sad to me not only because it means you are growing fast, but also because I don't know that I'll ever get to put those sweet tiny clothes on another baby. Daddy and I haven't decided 100% if we will have a third baby, but even if we do it could be a girl! Seeing some of the clothes you and your brother wore as newborns just floods my mind with so many sweet memories. It's amazing how an article of clothing can do that, but it's true. Even just thinking back to 8 weeks ago when you were a tiny little newborn feels nostalgic.

You are so sweet and precious, Deacon. Daddy, Sylas, and I love you so much. Thank you for making me the happiest Momma in the world!

Love,

Momma

P.S. I know who I think you look like- more on that in another post :)

Deacon's 1 Month Milestones!

2014-07-02T07:00:00.000-04:00

I absolutely can not believe it has already been an entire month! It has been a glorious 4 weeks, and I have loved getting to know my newest little bundle of joy. It has been tiring, and it's new and different being a mom of 2 now, but I can truly say it's been wonderful. Just as I did with Sylas, I intend to share Deacon's Milestones month by month. You can check out Sylas's Milestones here, and without further ado, here are Deacon's first month milestones (3 days late).

Deacon,

You are an absolute joy! Your Daddy and I are so in love with you already. You are calm and even tempered and legitimately only cry when you need to eat. You are the epitome of an "easy baby." I am trying something a little different with you than I did with your brother as far as "scheduling" and you are right on board! You eat and sleep like a champ, and have even been sleeping in your crib for naps and even at night time since you were just 2 weeks old. You love your bed and are comfortable there.

Everyone of course asks who you look like and I'm not sure I know just yet. I think you just look like you. There are times when you look pretty similar to your big brother, except with dark hair, but there are times when you look nothing like Sylas. I do have to say that when I first saw you, my initial reaction was "he looks like my dad!" Maybe it was the dark hair...who knows.

Deacon, you are the luckiest little brother in the whole world! Sylas loves you so much! It's absolutely adorable and warms my heart to see him interact with you. He is always perfectly gentle with you, rubbing your belly and caressing your face. He is there for every diaper change and almost every feeding. He has offered to feed you (a very funny story) and is always offering to hold you for me. He is always comforting you when you are upset saying things like "what's the matter, buddy?" or "it's o-day (OK) Deacon," and he very often will give you a hug, kiss your face, and say "I luzz (love) you, Deacon." There is nothing I wish for more than for your relationship to always be this precious.

I love you so much baby boy, and am looking forward to you being awake more and more as you grow so that I can actually play with you! I am thankful to God for you every day. Happy One Month, baby boy!

Love, Momma

Introducing: Deacon James Wilson

2014-07-01T21:08:00.003-04:00

Introducing:

Deacon James Wilson

born at home Thursday, May 29, 2014

twelve minutes past nine in the morning

7 pounds 2 ounces

20 inches long

I am completely overwhelmed with love for this little baby and my love for Sylas and our family as a whole has exponentially multiplied. I know I am their mother, but I am absolutely totally and utterly obsessed with these wonderful boys that the Lord has blessed me with.

As of today, Deacon is 13 days old and doing absolutely wonderful! He eats, sleeps, and poops like a champ! At his one week checkup he had gained weight...going from 7 lbs 2 oz to 7 lbs 9 oz! He is so incredibly happy and such an "easy" baby. Sylas loves him so much and has proven to be quite the big brother! Watching Sylas interact with him already makes me cry. He is so sweet to him and always ready to help! Dan is the baby whisperer and any time Deacon has been upset (not often), Dan has come to the rescue as Wonder Dad and 10 seconds later Deacon is sleeping. Unreal!

We are just so in love and feel so blessed!

We did it, baby boy, we did it!!

I will definitely share Deacon's birth story once I finish writing it, but for now I am just soaking up all the time I can with this wonderful new life.

**I wrote this and meant to post it immediately, but realized it has been sitting in my drafts folder for almost 3 weeks. That's why the date posted is not congruent with what I wrote about him being 13 days old**

Just the Two of Us

2014-05-28T15:26:00.002-04:00

Sweet Baby Boy,

You were "due" 4 days ago, but you must be absolutely enjoying your last few days with just your Momma... so for now, it's just the two of us, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Who could blame you for not wanting to make your appearance just yet; I'm sure you are warm and comfy and will come in your own time.

Last night, you had me and Daddy fooled. We thought it was "time." We thought for sure you were starting to tell us you were on your way, and as fast as it all started...it stopped again. And that's ok. I trust you.
You make the call, baby boy- it's all up to you. I am happy and comfortable and patiently waiting for your timing. In the mean time, I will enjoy these last few hours? days? weeks? while it's just the two of us. (Don't make Daddy and Sy wait too long, though, they absolutely can not wait to meet you!)

I love you,
Momma

Will my Memorial Day turn into Labor Day?

2014-05-23T13:33:00.003-04:00

Sunday, May 25 I will be 40 weeks! Whoo hoooo! Although I am anxious to meet this baby beyond belief, the good news is I feel great! I am trying to just enjoy my last few days and enjoy my little family of 3 before we are 4. Sylas is incredibly excited and everyday this week has asked "Baby Deacon comin' out today?"

Below you can see some more comparison pictures of Bump #1 vs Bump #2, and you can check out weeks 11-32 here.

Obviously, Dan and I were both wrong... the dates we guessed have already come and gone!

I hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend...maybe I'll be back Monday with a baby...?

Sweet Baby Boy,

I can't wait to meet you. I'm dying to know if you will have blonde hair like Sylas or dark hair like me. Will you come super fast or take your sweet time? Will you be a calm, laid back baby or a handful from day 1? I want to look into your eyes and kiss your sweet face. I want to cuddle and love on you and introduce you to all the people who love you. I want to nurse you and form an unbreakable bond. I want to be up with you- just the two of us in the quiet of the night. I want to rock you to sleep and sing to you. I want to see Sylas's face the first time he sees you and introduce you to your Daddy- the most wonderful man and Daddy in the world! Take your time sweet boy, but know that I am very excited and I can't wait!!

I love you forever and always,

Momma

The Beginning of Deacon's Baby Book Scrapbook

2014-05-22T13:08:00.000-04:00

You might remember I made Sylas a Babybook Scrapbook which is very similar to this book. You can see Sylas's book in it's entirety here. I was absolutely bound and determined to make just as special of a book for baby #2, especially since everyone always says "Oh...you'll never do the things for your second child that you had time to do for your first." Well, this is important to me for many reasons and I am determined not to fall into that trap. I am proud to say that I have had this book done since the first week in May and I have no intention of slowing down once my little man arrives. I promise to him and to myself that I will keep up with it and present it on his first birthday just like I did for Sylas.

Even at just two years old, Sylas already loves to look at his book and I know as he gets older he will only appreciate it even more. He even helped me quite a bit with this book and our 2013 Family Scrapbook. My love for pictures and memories through pictures is rubbing off on him and I'm not sad about that at all! :) Can you imagine how left out Deacon would feel if he didn't have one? I won't let that happen. So... in all humbleness, I am proud to show you the beginning of Deacon's Babybook Scrapbook! Enjoy:

These first two pages are a very small "family tree" if you will ,of parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents, and then aunts, uncles, and cousins. I want my children to always have an idea of where they came from and who their family members are.

Not only is it important to me to share who their family members are, but also that "Momma and Daddy" were not always just " Momma and Daddy." I think it's fun and important to share with my children my own memories from when I was their age, and show them the things I enjoyed and accomplished before becoming their Momma. As a little girl, I absolutely loved getting to see old pictures from when my parents were "young!" I remember being mesmerized that they were once small and went to school like I did and had boyfriends and cut school and had all kinds of different jobs and crazy experiences before they became my mom and dad.

I always want our children to know how in love Dan and I are and that our relationship is stable and that they can always count on us to be a family. I think showing our children how much we love each other only helps them understand how much we love them as well. Love is one of the biggest examples I want to show my children.

Doesn't almost any child one day ask "Where did I come from? How did you find out you were going to have me?!" Here is just a short little story telling Deacon all about how we found out he was in my belly and I how I shared the news with Dan. Then of course, the page on the right shares all about the day we found out he was a boy!

Just like I did with Sylas, I tried to take pictures of my growing belly almost weekly. I just think it's fun and quite amazing to see the growth and how fast it all happens! You can check out some comparison pictures of my belly pics for Sylas vs Deacon here.

I was blessed to have two "Baby Sprinkles" for Deacon. I just had the second one about a week and half ago- my wonderful friend and neighbor, Nicole, threw it for me as part of our playgroup that Sylas and I belong to with Nicole and her little boy. Since that one was so recent, I didn't print the pictures yet, but here is one that my good friend, Paola, threw for me and our friend, Shallon, who is also preggers.

And finally, a few of my favorites from our Maternity Photoshoot :) I'll have to share these pics in a separate post soon-I was so happy with how they came out! You can check out a few pics from our maternity shoot with Sylas here.

Well, that's it for now! Obviously, I can't really scrap about anything else until I finally meet this little bundle of joy! I absolutely can not wait to meet him and I feel like it will be very soon. I am due in 3 days, so....not much longer!

I hope you enjoyed Deacon's Babybook Scrapbook as much as I enjoyed putting it together! Do you scrapbook or preserve memories in a photo album? Do you even print pictures? I feel like it's rare these days to print pictures. Please share your projects with me! I love love love to see what other scrappers are up to and grab ideas and inspiration!

Thanks for stopping by!

Deacon's Nursery Reveal

2014-05-20T06:32:00.002-04:00

Last week I shared Sylas's new Big Boy Room, and as promised, here are pictures of baby #2's nursery! This room was done on a pretty tight budget. Unfortunately, I don't have any before pictures from when it was Sylas's Nursery, but they wouldn't be that different anyway. The goal here was to give the room a new feel without doing any major changes- we didn't paint, we didn't buy new nursery furniture, and we didn't even buy new bedding. I really like all the aforementioned things, and I didn't see the need to re-purchase all these items especially since we bought (or were given) everything brand new originally. So, without further ado... I give you.... Deacon James Wilson's nursery:

View from the door.

View to the right from the door. The blanket draped over the rocker was a handmade gift from my aunt for Sylas. I love the blanket and the colors match the room, so for now it's still in this room. It makes the perfect blanket for keeping warm during late night or early morning feedings. The rocking horse in front of the window was mine when I was a little girl. I got it for my 1st Christmas. Curtains are from Target.

The elephant rug is part of the bedding collection which is Pottery Barn Kids "Organic Baby Elephant." The dresser/changing table (and crib) is Europa Baby Pallisades Collection from Babies-R-Us. I love the elephant on the dresser- it was a gift from my sister, Desiree, and I'm pretty sure she found it at TJ Maxx/Home Goods.

Close up of the dresser with the art work above.

This was a DIY project that I actually already had in the room from when it was Sylas's room. It looks so different above the dresser vs the crib, though. One of the changes we did to make the room feel different was reverse the location of the crib and the dresser and it really made a huge difference.

I made the art with canvas, scrapbook paper, acrylic paint, and mod podge.

A close up of the book shelves behind the rocker. These shelves were a new addition (from IKEA) to the room to make it feel different than when it was Sylas's room. I had shelves here but they were a different style and they were stained dark. The white really makes a huge difference.

This is just a very simple DIY I designed and then printed and put in a frame near the books.

This picture frame was a gift from my sister, Patra, back when Sylas was about 6 months old or so, but I never put it to use until now. It's a scrapbook sized background and it had embellishments on it that were a little outdated looking. I revamped it and here's how it looks now :) Obviously, the baby is the baby that came in the frame and will be replaced with Deacon. Also, the blank blue paper under his name is for his birth stats.

The absolutely beautiful sweater was a handmade gift from Dan's step grandmother. She makes some of the most beautiful things! She sent this sweater with a matching hat and also the blanket that is draped over the side of the crib. You can see the blanket in the first picture. She made a similar set for Sylas. You can see pictures of that here. He wore it for his baptism. I plan to put both sweaters and hats in shadow boxes with pictures of the boys wearing them.

Here you can see the crib and the gallery wall above, which is a new addition. The lamp is also a new addition. I had a pretty similar lamp, but moved it to Sylas's new room. I almost purchased the same lamp, and then decided to stick with the pure white theme (the other lamp was more of a cream color). I'm really happy with my choice. I think the white really pops against the bright blue walls.

Here is a close up of the gallery wall. The shelves and most of the frames came from IKEA. Some of the frames are from AC Moore. The empty frames are for pictures of Deacon and the biggest one will be for a birth announcement that I plan to make.

This picture is just to the left of the gallery and it's my favorite thing in the whole room. The story behind it is incredible (to me anyway). When I found out I was pregnant with Baby #2, I was looking for my previous midwife's contact information online (from when I had Sylas) so I could get my records and give them to my current midwife. When I Googled her name, one of the first links that came up was to this artwork. I clicked on it to see what it was all about.

Turns out, it was a painting of a mom giving birth at home that the artist had recreated from a photo. My midwife had written a comment to the artist and it said this exactly: "This is my *favorite.* I have always loved it, and oddly it looks like last to me... the mom/dad appear just as they did and the midwife looks just like me... and no one else was there, and mama... her face *glowed* in amazement like this! Thanks for capturing what few of us see. Love to you-Kate."

Here's the incredible part: the time stamp on her comment was July 22, 2011 at 12:36 am...almost exactly 24 hours after Sylas was born.... her comment was about us!!! I literally cried such emotional tears as I remembered Sylas's birth and ordered a copy of the art immediately. She was right- it really did look exactly like this artwork!

View from the dresser looking out the room but I have the door closed so you can see the art. You can also see the blanket that Dan's step grandmother draped over the crib here.

This was a DIY I made for the nursery when it was Sylas's room. It actually would match his room still., so I may move it and make something new to hang here for Deacon, but for now it remains. The words are lyrics to a song I love.

View of the closet. Think he has enough clothes? Those are only newborn, 0-3 months and 3 months. I didn't wash any 3-6 month clothes yet. 98% of the clothes were saved from Sylas- the blessing of having the same gender child in almost the same season! :)

At the bottom of the closet you can see my birth supplies. I plan to do another post on preparing your home for a home birth and the supplies needed. So I'll enlighten you as to what all that is at that time....

Well, there you have it! I hope you enjoyed it. I absolutely love this room and can't believe how few changes it took to make it look and feel so different from when it was Sylas's nursery.

As of today, I am 39 weeks and 2 days. Sylas and I are going to the airport overlook to watch the airplanes take off this morning with our playgroup. Maybe I'll go into labor soon...

Later this week: The start of Deacon's Babybook Scrapbook Reveal! :)

Preparing for a Home Birth: Positive Affirmations

2014-05-15T15:02:00.003-04:00

Any time I tell someone we are having (another) home birth the biggest questions I get are "Why?" and "Does that mean no pain killers?... Doesn't it hurt?? Why would you want to feel the pain?"

"Why?" is such a loaded question and I have many, many reasons, but about the pain- the best way I can sum it up is in this quote:

The pain is temporary, but the amazing. exhilarating. incredible. inexplainable. feeling that comes with birthing naturally and not literally being "numb" to the experience due to drugs is so incredibly worth it....and long lasting.

So how do you get through the pain?? I won't lie- the pain is no joke. Just like with anything else, everyone is different and there are many ways to get through it. Some women try hypnobirthing, some women meditate, some women listen to certain music...however you "get in the zone."

With Sylas's home birth, I used a combination of things- but mostly positive affirmations. I didn't prepare my affirmations the same way I did for this birth, but I had them in my head. I ended up focusing (extremely hard) on a banana hanging in our fruit bowl and repeating "I can do this! My body was made to do this! I am strong! I am strong!"

I strongly recommend preparing your affirmations ahead of time and reading them out loud everyday. The more you read them, (especially out loud) the more you will believe them. It's incredible, and it's true. The mind is so powerful, and what you put in, you get out. SO... positive only, and no negative thoughts!

Here is a look at my affirmations:

I know you can't really read them all because I am terrible at taking pictures of things that are on a mirror, so here they are:

1. I am surrounded by love and support by amazing people, and they believe in me.
2. The experience of labor and birth is a great gift and I am thankful.
3. I am deserving of an uncomplicated birth and a healthy baby.
4. Everything is going right.
5. Labor is not linear! Accept the process.
6. Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth. -Virginia Di Orio
7. I can do this! My body was made to do this! I AM STRONG!
8. Home birth is safe for me and my baby.
9. I am enough!
10. My body has a wide open space for my baby to descend.
11. Inhale peace, exhale tension.
12. I trust my body and follow it's lead.
13. My mind and body are relaxed.
14. I have grown this baby, I will push him out.
15. I accept and welcome every contraction. With each one I am closer to holding our baby.
16. She believed she could, so she did!
17. I surrender with confidence.

I hung mine in my master bathroom and I read them at least twice a day while I brush my teeth. Then I say them all out loud when I'm done. When I go into labor, I may move some of them randomly around the house so wherever I am, I catch a glimpse of one or two. I will also definitely set up my favorite ones within sight of the birthing tub since I feel pretty confident I will birth in the water like I did with my first home birth.

I hope this helps someone preparing for a drug free and natural birth even if it is not at home. Just remember- YOU CAN DO IT! I wish all birthing momma's out there the best!

Sylas's Big Boy Room Reveal

2014-05-13T16:40:00.001-04:00

Sylas has been in his big boy room since about March. With Baby #2 arriving late May, I wanted to give him plenty of time to get used to the idea of such a big change. Not only did he get a new big boy bed, but he changed rooms because the nursery was more suitable for the new baby and Sylas's new room is bigger. Sylas's new room used to be the guest room. Here is a before and after:

It looks like we painted, but we didn't. In fact, the guest room was a tad boring because I knew eventually this would be Sylas's room and I didn't plan on painting so I didn't want to put a bunch of holes in the walls that I would later regret and have to fix. The playroom now serves double duty as playroom/guest room, but it works out fine because it is quite a large room.

This is the far wall of the room, and all the way to the right is the window. I had the curtain drawn for the picture because when I opened it, the picture was even worse...

This is the wall above the shelf. The picture on the right is just a picture I found online of an old truck. I edited the picture so the truck is in color and the background is black and white. Taking pictures of the house vs humans is really not my forte, so you can't even tell.... Then I had it printed and framed it with a frame I found on sale at AC Moore.

The canvas is a DIY I made based off of a picture I saw online that sold for $125. I already had the canvas and supplies so it literally cost me nothing! It says "Be Brave, Strong, and Courageous. Seek Adventure and Truth."

This part of the room is a little bit of a work in progress. I know a couple shelves look bare and honestly so does the top. I thought about a lamp, but with a light on one side and the window on the other, there's really no point in a lamp. The shadow box in the back holds the shirt that Sylas wore to tell Dan Baby #2 was on the way as well as a picture of Sylas hugging my preggers belly.

This is the wall at the foot of the bed. I decided to make a collage wall of all different things truck related.

Close up of the collage wall.

The picture on the left is a real newspaper article from the 1950's. The picture on the top right is a watercolor and the license plate says "Sylas." The license plate is a real truck license plate from 1955. I thought it was so awesome that there's an "S" for Sylas and a 2, since he is 2 years old. The frame on the bottom holds a picture of Dan and Sylas as well as artwork that says "Be brave little one."

This is obviously a picture of the head of the bed and above you can see I framed 4 coordinating trucks.

This adorable little stool was actually given to us when we first had Sylas. The color matches perfectly with his room and it's a car, so how perfect is that? We use it as a time out stool.

This is a toy chest that doesn't even hold one toy. We have a playroom, so I don't really store toys in Sy's room. The chest came with his bed, which I bought on Craigslist for just $75, and I like that it makes a nice little place to sit a read a book.

View of the closet. Since we don't really have a true dresser in this room, we use the little baskets for things that don't hang: Athletic Wear, Jammies, Swim Wear, and Socks and Undies. I literally hang the rest of Sylas's clothes. It's just the way I prefer it anyway.

Someone very much enjoys his big boy room and especially his bog boy bed. I am so glad we transitioned him when we did. He no longer calls his old room "his" and very willingly asks visitors if they want to see his room and "the bebe's room."

What 2 year old doesn't love to jump on the bed? Funny thing is he sings "5 Little Monkey's Jumping on the Bed" the whole time! hahaha little stinker!

And when he's done jumping, he relaxes with a good book :) My little "reader!"

I hope you enjoyed the pictures of Sylas's Big Boy Room. It was so fun to put together for him, and he really enjoys it! I probably won't post another post with where everything came from, so if you have any questions just ask. :)

Stay tuned for Baby #2's Nursery later this week or next as well as a reveal of Baby #2's Babybook Scrapbook. I started one just like Sylas's and can't wait to share with everyone!

Baby Bump 1 vs Baby Bump 2

2014-04-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

I've been taking (almost) weekly belly pictures just like I did with my first pregnancy. I didn't necessarily intend to put them side by side, but the idea just came to me and I think it came out pretty cool. One really cool thing was that I coincidentally took pictures on almost the exact same weeks- especially towards the end where I skip like 4 weeks- the weeks I chose to take a picture were the same both times! Weird!

As of today I am 35 weeks 3 days and although I meant to take a picture at 35 weeks, I just didn't get around to drawing on the chalk board since it was Easter Sunday. I will definitely take a picture at 36 weeks.

Baby Boy,

We are all so excited to meet you! Watching my belly grow and knowing that's you inside getting bigger and bigger in just so amazing to me. I can't wait to hold you and kiss you and love on you....only about 4 more weeks little one!

Love,

Momma

Happy Easter 2014!

2014-04-21T12:01:00.002-04:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! We absolutely did. Sylas is at such a fun age where holidays are a big deal and he gets very excited. As Dan and I were hiding the eggs, we were talking about how fun it is to be a parent now and think back on the memories we have as being children ourselves. We were saying how we are now responsible for giving those awesome memories to our children, and it's really an awesome place to be. We just absolutely love this little guy and hope he looks back on his childhood with many very fond memories. Here are a few pictures from our day and also from Sylas coloring Easter eggs, which he thought was "so awesome."

Sylas kept saying he was "so cited!" (so excited) to color the eggs.

This is actually Sy's basket from Nonna and Poppy, but he's in his jammies in the picture of him with his basket at our house, so this is a much cuter picture.

This year has certainly been the most fun year so far for holidays, etc. Sylas is old enough to understand and get excited. Here are just a couple throwbacks from the past couple Easters.

Sylas with Nonna and Poppy

Dan's extended family: cousin Emily, Uncle Rob, Brother Brian, me, Dan, Poppy and Sylas, Nonna, Aunt Nancy

Our Family (for about 5 more weeks... baby #2 due very soon!)

Happy Easter, everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful day celebrating.

Sylas Says...

2014-04-09T11:19:00.001-04:00

Back when I was blogging as much as I'd like to start blogging again, I couldn't wait for Sylas to start talking so that I could start a series called "Sylas Says..." It's something I saw on another blog, so I can't take credit for the idea, but what a wonderful idea! Not only do kids say the darndest things, but what a great way to be able to remember them! I am notorious for saying "Oh, I'll never forget that..." and then a couple days later I already can't recall the story the exact way it happened. I want to be able to share with Sylas some of the funny things he says when he is older, so here's to a few laughs and many memories: My first "Sylas Says..." post (even though I am WAY behind and Sy has been saying funny things for quite some time!)

Sylas Says...

A few nights before Christmas, Dan and I planned a date night. A real, go-all-out date night. The plan was for Sylas to spend the night at Dan's parents house. He has had spend the night parties with them before, so no big deal, right?! Wrong!

A few minutes before bed time, they called and said he had been crying and screaming for almost an hour-asking for Daddy and Mommy. We were at the Melting Pot, which is a restaurant that cannot be rushed. Everyone agreed that we should at least finish our date and see how the night went from there.

About an hour later, they called and said that Sylas managed to climb out of his pack-n-play, get him self dressed, come downstairs and while trying to go outside says....

"I'll wait. I'll wait. I-a go ou-side and wait for my Daddy." ("I'll wait. I'll wait. I'm gonna go outside and wait for my Daddy.")

Needless to say, he came home and slept in his own bed that night, and that was the end of date night.

Grateful

2014-03-03T15:43:00.000-05:00

I have not forgotten about my promise to myself and my family to blog more and document our memories, my thoughts, my little one's milestones, etc. It's just been a busy month (what month isn't?) and I had a goal of finishing our 2013 Family Scrapbook by February 28th. Our Family Scrapbook is another way I like to preserve our memories for my family, and with such a huge goal and other obligations this month, the blog took a back seat.

So did I reach my goal? Almost....! And, honestly, for the first time in my life, I am happy with almost! I definitely will still finish it within the next week or so, but the single most important thing motherhood has taught me so far is that "it can wait." Laundry and cleaning can wait, blogging can wait, a phone call can wait, Facebook can wait...my scrapbook can wait. My baby will only need me to his momma for so long and I intend to be truly present. I don't want to miss one kiss. one hug. one opportunity to teach. to love. to discipline. to play. to be silly. to dance. to just be with my babe.

I read this post yesterday on Your Best Nest, and it hits so close to home that I could definitely write my own version- but it's already so well written and so spot on I'll just share it with you....Megan (another Megan) writes:

"Ever since we brought our new daughter home, her older brothers have been the first to tell me when she is crying, whimpering, or smelling a little suspicious. “Somebody needs you,” they say. I have no idea how this little saying started, but at first it sort of annoyed me. I could be enjoying a quick shower… “Mommy, somebody needs you. The baby is crying.” Or, sitting down for a second, quite aware that the baby was beginning to stir from a nap…. “Mama, somebody needs you!” Okay! I get it already! And not to mention that the newborn’s needs pale in comparison to the needs of 2 little boys. Somebody always needs a snack, a band-aid, a different sock, ice cubes in their water, a NEW Paw Patrol, a stream of snot wiped, a hug, a story, a kiss. Some days never seem to end, and the monotony of being “needed” can really take its toll. Then, it all started to hit me, they need ME. Not anybody else. Not a single other person in the whole world. They need their Mommy.

The sooner I can accept that being Mommy means that I never go off the clock, the sooner I can find peace in this crazy stage of life. That ‘Mommy’ is my duty, privilege and honor. I am ready to be there when somebody needs me, all day and all night. Mommy means I just put the baby back down after her 4am feeding when a 3-year-old has a nightmare. Mommy means I am surviving on coffee and toddler leftovers. Mommy means my husband and I haven’t had a real conversation in months. Mommy means I neglect myself and put others before my needs, without a thought. Mommy means that my body is full of aches and my heart is full of love.

I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me. My babies will all be long gone and consumed with their own lives. I may sit alone in some assisted living facility watching my body fade away. No one will need me then. I may even be a burden. Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home. My kisses no longer their cure. There will be no more tiny boots to wipe the slush from or seat belts to be buckled. I will have read my last bedtime story, 7 times in a row. I will no longer enforce time outs. There will be no more bags to pack and unpack or snack cups to fill. I am sure my heart will yearn to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, “Mommy, somebody needs you!”

So for now, I find beauty in the peaceful 4am feedings in our cozy little nursery. We are perched above the naked oak trees in our own lavender nest. We watch the silent snow fall and a bunny scampering across its perfect white canvas. It’s just me and my little baby, the neighborhood is dark and still. We alone are up to watch the pale moon rise and the shadows dance along the nursery wall. She and I are the only ones to hear the barn owl hooting in the distance. We snuggle together under a blanket and I rock her back to sleep. It’s 4am and I am exhausted and frustrated, but it’s okay, she needs me. Just me. And maybe, I need her too. Because she makes me Mommy. Some day she will sleep through the night. Some day I will sit in my wheelchair, my arms empty, dreaming of those quiet nights in the nursery. When she needed me and we were the only two people in the world.

Can I enjoy being needed? Sometimes, sure, but often it is tiring. Exhausting. But, it isn’t meant to be enjoyed every moment. It is a duty. God made me their Mom. It is a position I yearned for long before I would ever understand it. Over a 3 day weekend my husband couldn’t believe how many times our boys kept saying, “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy”! “Are they always like this?” he asked not able to hide his terror, and sympathy. “Yep. All day, everyday. That’s my job.” And I have to admit that it is the toughest job I have ever had. In a previous life I was a restaurant manager for a high volume and very popular chain in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. A Saturday night at 7:30pm with the expo window overflowing with dishes, a 2 hour wait, and the electricity inexplicably going out has got nothing on a Tuesday, 5:00pm at the Morton house. And let me tell ya, South Florida diners are some of the toughest to please. But, they are a cake walk compared to sleep-deprived toddlers with low blood sugar.

Once upon a time, I had time. For myself. Now, my toe nails need some love. My bra fits a little differently. My curling iron might not even work anymore, I don’t know. I can’t take a shower without an audience. I’ve started using eye cream. I don’t get carded any more. My proof of motherhood. Proof that somebody needs me. That right now, somebody always needs me. Like last night…

At 3am I hear the little footsteps entering my room. I lay still, barely breathing. Maybe he will retreat to his room. Yeah right.

“Mommy.”

“Mommy.” A little louder.

“Yes”. I barely whisper.

He pauses, his giant eyes flashing in the dim light.

“I love you.”

And just like that, he is gone. Scampered back to his room. But, his words still hang in the cool night air. If I could reach out and snatch them, I would grab his words and hug them to my chest. His soft voice whispering the best sentence in the world. I love you. A smile curls across my lips and I slowly exhale, almost afraid to blow the memory away. I drift back to sleep and let his words settle into my heart.

One day that little boy will be a big man. There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours. Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband. I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby. It will be but a memory. These years of being needed are exhausting, yet fleeting. I have to stop dreaming of “one day” when things will be easier. Because, the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today. Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit up. Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck. Today is perfect. ”One day” I will get pedicures and showers alone. ”One day” I will get myself back. But, today I give myself away, and I am tired, and dirty and loved SO much, and I gotta go. Somebody needs me."

Wow!... I know I, for one, couldn't get through that post without crying. I am so blessed to be Sylas's and soon-to-be Baby #2's momma! It is a duty I don't take lightly and the thing about motherhood is that in the midst of the exhausting and the draining, there is joy to be found in the simple fact that I'm here to be exhausted and drained. I get to be the one to raise my kids, I get to be the one to discipline, to praise, to kiss, and to cuddle. I get to be here and that alone is a gift.

It's a... (Baby #2 Gender Reveal)

2014-01-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

With Sylas we didn't find out if he was a boy or girl until his birth. It was so amazing and incredible to birth a baby and then still have the excitement of finding out..."Did I just birth a girl or boy?!" However, for various reasons, we decided to find out ahead of time this time around, and.....

Dan and I both want a little girl eventually one day, but I feel like I can not even express how incredibly excited I am to be having another boy!! Best Friends. Partners in Crime. Buddies. Pals...BROTHERS!

Sylas and Baby Boy,

Daddy and I hope you boys are all of these things and more! I pray you will develop a special relationship unlike any other- that of brothers and siblings! I pray that you will be each others best friends, that you will always be there for one another, and teach each other everything you know. I pray that you will love one another and form a special bond from day 1 that is unbreakable and stronger than any other friend or playmate you have.

Baby boy, I know Sylas will be an incredible big brother (you are very lucky!) and with all that his tiny little mind can understand-he is very excited to meet "the bebe." We talk about you all the time, and when we get to hear your heartbeat at our midwife appointments, I tell Sylas that is how you say "Hi" to him. That makes him very happy and feel very special. He climbs up on the bed with me and pulls my shirt up so he can put his hand right on my belly. He is very gentle and purposeful with his movements. He says "hi bebe" and waits for you to respond. It is a very special time for us!

We are all incredibly excited to meet you, baby boy!

I love you both from the depths of my heart and soul,

Momma

Happy 2014! I'm Back!

2014-01-07T14:48:00.000-05:00

Happy 2014, everyone! 2013 was a BIG year for me and my family and unfortunately, blogging fell by the wayside. I have decided to get back to it for many reasons, and upon figuring out what made me stop blogging all together, I know this is a resolution I will stick to.

When I started blogging right after Sylas was born, I did it for me. I did it for my family. I didn't do it to have 20,000 followers or to see how high my blog ranked on SEO's. I intended it to act almost as an online scrapbook/memory book, if you will, for me and my family (especially Sylas and any other future children I have) to look back on and read. For them to look back and have an idea of what life was like when they were growing up, the highs and lows I went through as a young mom, the fun things our family did, and to get to see all of that documented in one place with easy access. As I got more into blogging, it became more about just that- "blogging" and less about my family. I want blogging to be FUN again and most importantly, I don't want any long gaps of time between posts anymore.

So without further ado, let's catch you up on what we've been up to in 2013. Here are the highlights:

8. Dan more than doubled his practice!

Wow... a lot of hard work and long hours went into that goal, but he did it and I am SO proud of him. He truly is changing people's lives everyday.

7. In May 2013, we became first time homeowners!

Yay!! You might remember we moved from PA to NC in March 2012. We decided to make the move more "permanent" and bought our first home in May. We absolutely love our home and feel SO blessed to have been able to reach this goal.

6. We said "I DO!"... In MEXICO!

WHOOP WHOOP!! We tied the knot! On June 28, 2013, by the beautiful Mexican sea, we said "I Do" in front of 30 of our closest family and friends. We were lucky enough to spend 8 glorious days in Mexico and we had the time of our lives. I am the luckiest bride in the world and feel so blessed to have honestly married my BEST FRIEND. Dan is an amazing husband and father and I am so. in. love.!

5. We honeymooned in Charleston leaving Sylas behind for the first time ever.

What a week! (OK... it was 4 days, 3 nights) but it. was. fabulous. We have never left Sylas for more than a couple hours here and there- not even one spend the night at Nonna's & Poppy's. We love that little bugger more than you can fathom, but talk about needing a little break. He even came to Mexico with us- and while I give him a LOT of credit, and think he did a great job considering how much travel it was- it was still kind of stressful and there was less "lazy beach days" than we had anticipated. Dan's parent's agreed to watch him for us so we could go somewhere alone for a few days and we really had a great time. We both missed Sylas a lot, but it was wonderful for it to just be the two of us. :)

4. Sylas turned 2!

Yes... you read that right! My little man is not so little anymore! He turned 2 in July 2013. I absolutely can not believe time has just flown by and he's not a "baby" anymore. He is growing up to be the sweetest, kindest, most caring little 2 year old ever. He is ridiculously smart, as handsome as ever, and a ball of energy! I love him to the moon and back!

3. Dan celebrated the big 3-0!

So even though we may have done a thing or two "out of order," Dan met all of the "familial goals" he had before he turned 30. Growing up, (and for no apparent reason), Dan always said he wanted to have a baby by the time he was 28. Well, he made that goal by the skin of his teeth! Sylas was born July 21, and Dan turned 28 just 4 days later on July 25! Another goal he had was to be married by the time he was 30, and guess what?? Again, he met that goal in the nick of time. We were married June 28, and not even a month later Dan celebrated 30!

I wanted to throw a huge celebration, but being that we (and most of our friends and family) all just came back from Mexico, I didn't expect people to travel all the way to CLT not even a month later. But hey- there's always 2014- 31 is the new 30 after all. ;)

2. We purchased a "family car"... a 7 passenger Pathfinder.

We have been a 'one car family' since right before Sylas was born in order to save some extra money and meet some financial goals. After almost 2.5 years with only one car, we decided it was time to take the plunge and purchase a true "family car." We decided that if we were going to have a second car, it made sense for it to serve some purpose beyond what our current 5 passenger sedan serves. We bought a 7 passenger Pathfinder with the vision of it holding a larger family, being carpool friendly, and giving us a lot more space in general for trips, etc. We love our Pathfinder and feel like it was a great purchase! Sylas especially loves it and everyday says "I wanny go in da blue" (I want to go in the blue car.) Haha!

1. And possibly the most exciting news of 2013...

...WE'RE EXPECTING!! So here's to an even more exciting, fulfilling, and blessed year to come as we watch our family grow and enjoy the love that surrounds us every day!

I'm sure you can imagine that with another baby on the way, blogging might be a challenge, but it's actually a huge motivation for me. I never want to look back on this blog and be saddened that I wrote so much for Sylas and nothing for my other children. I want them to know that even though love is not materialistic or tangible, that one way I express my love is through words, pictures, and memories. I want to give my future children the same gifts I have given Sylas, so it is my goal to keep this blog up and fill it with even more family milestones and memories.