The Bitch's Mental Reservation

Choices

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:50:00 +0000

Yipee! I survived 1 week! It isn't so bad after all, but I must say, I really miss the people I used to work with.

You know the most popular cliche for Filipinos? It goes, "Malalaman mo lang na importante ang isang bagay sayo kapag nawala na ito." I guess that's how I feel at some point. There is no day I don't magnify the difference between where I used to work and where I work now. But at the end of the day, I realize comparing will not really do me good. It's true, people are a lot happier and accomodating from where I came from, but the people I am with are nice as well. I guess I just need to start overhauling myself.

Things will not necesarilly go my way all the time, but I sure can handle if what happens to my life goes in a different direction.

Hmmm... self-assurance?

Yeah, there are days I ask myself, did I make the right decision?

If I had not made this decision, I'd still be comfortably happy.

I don't want to be comfortable all the time at work. Challenge is a necessity for the brain to avoid getting dull, that's why sometimes, comfort zones are danger zones.

So I guess the answer to my question if I made the right choice....

I will make it right.

Out of My Comfort Zone

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 01:08:00 +0000

Last night was my first day of work at Teletech Bacoor. It's a good thing I brought my handy-dandy notebook, while waiting for my soon to be supervisor I was doodling away inside the pantry. It's a very cozy pantry. A lot better than the one we had in IBM. It looks like Starbucks, even the tables, couches and the tables are like those of a comfy coffee shop. Their resident concessionaire is Country Style - which reminded me of Charlottie, coz she loves Country Style donuts. It was very nice. More decent I must say. But what if you get tired of Country Style's donuts? No more options....

Still waiting.... I roamed my eyes around the area, and checked the bulletin boards. Announcements, parties, and I'd say they're very organized. Even the letters you receive, they track it and post it so you can easily see.

Suddenly I felt nauseous... not with disgust but beause my heart felt like throwing itself out of my chest. My feet were cold and my hands were like water fountain wet because of anxiousness.
I still have time to back out!

But I didn't.

It's such a familiar feeling, my fear of not blending in. I wasn't really the"unpopular kid" at school, but it always comes to mind that at some point in my life I will be a doormat. I don't want that to happen. Then I realized, I'm not so good in mingling with ohers. I mean I have lots of friends, but these people I met were as clueless as I was. Freshmen, first job, fresh wave. I remembered, I did not do so well in my law and history classes because I was with a different block. I never had friends there.

Questions start pouring in. Is this worth it? Should I be really seated here? I was tempted to stand up and go.

I didn't.

Leaving my comfort zone in IBM is the toughest decision I've ever made. I don't know what's waiting for me here, until my soon to be supervisor came and gave me a tour of the site. I was confused until I saw their incredible pantry which looked like a bar, a sleeping room with double-deck beds (can you imagine, real beds with no couples making out!) and a game room and DVD room with a wide screen, nice couch and movies to watch.

So much for comfort! Until I reached the training suite.... there I saw my future. Work... work... work... and no blog, no facebook, no YM and other internet stuff. Ooooh.... yeah.

Paradigm shift.

I survived my first day with overflowing assessments online. I was so full of it, I didn't wanna touch my pc when I got home.

Hopefully tomorrow is a brand new day to survive.

Thank You and Have A Nice Life

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 12:02:00 +0000

In my 3 years and 6 months of stay here in IBM, I never thought I will send my share of goodbye letter. I never thought it would be this hard. So I guess instead of saying goodbye, I�??ll just thank everyone in this company who made my stay here worth it.

To my trainers, Pia de Ungria, Rowena Banda, my lss Maricris Jimenez, thank you for being such good mentors and motivators. Being an agent as a first job is really difficult, but you did a great job in pushing me to work harder and in helping me find the right motivation in me.

To my former team, KANSAS, I�??d still say we are the best team in Sprint. To my tl Marilou Dabo-Rosuelo, I don�??t think I�??ll ever find a supervisor as good as you. You molded us, encouraged us despite our weaknesses and indeed you helped us grow in this company.

To all my friends here, especially the VA new hire trainers, with you I have shared a unique camaraderie which I hope will continue in the years to come even though I shall not be here with the company.

To Jerome Ora, you have been my supervisor for the longest time. You were there with me in every happy and devastating moments of my life. Siguro pwede mo na akong igawa ng talambuhay, sa dami ng pinagdaanan ko na nandun ka. I thank you for everything, you helped me keep my sanity during the time I felt so lost. And for that I consider you one of my true friends here in IBM.

To Kristian Cabrera, Rajah Singh, Jon Juliano, Briggs Baritugo, thank you for welcoming VAPS to your team. Though I felt at some point, handling our team was a challenge; I'd say you did a great job because our team learned a lot, especially me. I hope my dreams for VAPS will come true eventually. I have no doubt about that, because the team is in good hands. I have been extremely satisfied with my work here at IBM, working under your guidance has been a learning and an enjoyable experience. I thank you for your support and encouragement during these 3 and half years. I�??ll bring with me all the lessons I've learned from each of you and the mantra of a trainer will always be with me, "Be a guide on the side, not a sage on the stage" (hope I got that right! har!)

And of course, to the VAPS trainers, it took me a long time to write this because I couldn't fight the tears. For 3 long years I have been with VAPS, from the very first batch of VAPS trainers up to the newest faces of VAPS, I couldn't contain the emotion I have right now. This team, I consider my family�?� I can't seem to say goodbye.

Thank you for putting up with me despite my tantrums, my bitchiness, and my craziness. It feels so painful to leave the team that gave me so much comfort for 3 years. I know minsan hindi ako mabait, pero sobrang mahal ko kayo. (Corneeee!) Take care of our team.Kahit minsan di tayo magkakasundo, this is our little family here in IBM, so ingatan nio.

Tatagalugin ko na ang mga bilin ko, di nio na naman ako mabibigyan ng EOP ticket eh. Hehehe!

Jet and Judith, take charge. Follow Jon and be good leaders to the team. Kung kailangan hagupitin ung di sumusunod... hagupitin! Kung ayaw parin, text nio lang ako.... itatapon ko mug nila! =) Jet, sa kasal mo invited parin ako ha. Judith sa birthday din ni Zoe ha.

JJ and Babbitt, alam nio na ang gusto ko sabihin.... sa inyo kadalasan nakasalalay ang phonetime! =) JJ, wag ka mag-alala, kakanta parin ako sa kasal mo. Babbitt, be wise on your decisions. Sometimes go for the mind over heart.

Baby Tynn, wag lagi galit pag nag-eexplain ok. Salamat at pinatikim mo ako ng chicken nuggets sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon ng buhay ko. Narealize ko, di pala lahat ng sinasabi ng mga nanay totoo.

JP - wag mo maxado pahirapan sa Web time modification si Gene ha, basahin mo ang mga email at wag i-delete without reading para di mo akalain na ang mga training schedule eh sa gabi instead na umaga.

Mike - magsalita paminsan minsan para di ma-misinterpret ng nasa mga tao paligid. Assert yourself.

Gene �?? pasenxa na sa mga modifications. J I�??ll miss you sobra! I will miss our salon bonding and food tripping. But we will still do that okay.

Basta sa buong VAPS team, old and new batch. I don�??t think I�??ll ever find a department as crazy as ours. I love you guys!

I am bidding adieu today to this company to pursue other career opportunities. As I move on, I would like to take a moment to remember and cherish our times together. It's been great interacting and knowing each one of you. Even though I will miss you all here I am looking forward to this new challenge and to start a new phase of my career.

To IBM Daksh, thank you for all the lessons learned, for all the opportunities and for making me feel that this company is my second home.

God bless everyone. Have a nice life! =)

Strength in Despair

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 00:27:00 +0000

Dear God,

They say in times of trouble, count your blessings and thank You no matter how small those blessings are. I am in a tough situation, I am nearing desperation but I still want to take time to thank You.

Thank you for my husband, Gerald. He, I think, is the best companion a woman can ever have. Despite what we are going through, he can still make me laugh and he makes me forget the problems we are facing. Marriage is so much easier with him.

Thank you for my son, Joaqui. My adorable son, who alleviates all the pain and the stress I am dealing with. His smile alone makes me feel heaven.

Thank you for keeping us healthy especially Joaqui. I'd be shattered if my son gets sick.

Thank you for my job, no matter how sickening it can be sometimes. Thank you for the new job I'd be taking next week. Looking for a good company to work for is tough already, but I made it!

Thanks for giving me friends. Friends who can laugh with me and laugh at me without judging me. Thanks for making them real.

Thanks for giving me life, even if sometimes I want to end it, I still think living in this world is something to be cherished.

Thanks for the strength. Day by day, I struggle. Each morning I wake up contending strenuously with problems. Problems that left me with my dignity down the drain.

Sometimes I get tired of going forward, expending great energy but no matter what I do I can't seem to find the answers to my problems. But You have been there to hold my hand to keep me strong and still smiling.

But today, I feel weak. I feel that I am losing my faith but then I realize if I stop holding on to You, then where can I hold on to. I cannot make myself fall. I know You will not make me fall.

I implore to you Lord, reach out to me and hear my plead. It feels like I am holding on to a cliff and slowly my fingers are drifting off, each finger lifted up from where I am hanging to. I don't know until when I can hang on.

I don't want to give up.

Pushed to the limit

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 06:49:00 +0000

I am in such bad mood today because of our landlord. Super-mega-over sa gahaman!

My husband and I are going to move back to Cavite on the 1st of October because I'm moving to a different company. I informed the the supervisor of the condo that we're renting about our plan. We were under the impression that we can use our advance payment to cover for this month so we can use our money for the new apartment we are going to rent. To my surprise the supervisor told me that our advance will be forfeited because we pre-terminated our contract.

Tang-ina!!!

Eh we stayed there for over a year already, and the reason we stayed there kasi sabi nila they renewed our contract automatically kasi we did not give them any notice a month before mag end ung contract namin. Bullshit diba?!!! So ngaun they're telling me na we are pre-terminating our contract and we cannot use our advance.

Gahaman talaga!!!

To think na it isn't such a good apartment-condo. We are paying too much pero nasa 5th floor kami pero binabaha kami. Inaanay ang banyo namin at kung saan-saan ang tulo!

Crap!!!

XXXX Apartment.... crap! Corporation daw sila pero they don't have their policies written in their contract. Sobrang kalokohan ang kontrata nila! Walang fire exit at ang ang linya ng kuryente sala-salabit pa. Tapos upon payment ng deposit mo at advance, magdedeposit ka pa ng pang Meralco eh nakasubmeter naman ang mga unit. Ano yun pinuputulan ang mga unit ng kuryente everytime someone leaves? May hocus pocus talaga dito.

Dapat meron tayong mga batas na magpoprotekta sa mga umuupa. Kailangan may akson para sa mga bakaw na kagaya ng nagpapatakbo ng XXXX Apartment sa Makati!

Finally... my resignation letter

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 06:48:00 +0000

***sniff...sniff...sigh***

Dear Jon,

I am writing to you today to officially tender my resignation from IBM Daksh effective on Wednesday, October 8, 2008.

I never thought I would ever leave a great company such as IBM, but when the opportunity arose to work as a VA new hire trainer in a company which is in my hometown, which you know has always been a life long dream for me, I simply had to take advantage of it.

I cannot say enough wonderful things about IBM, about all the people I�??ve encountered in my years of service with the company, and especially about you, Boss Briggs, my past supervisors and all the others in VAPS. Your leadership has taken us all to a new level. I appreciate your patience and the effort in providing the team a better learning experience. While I miss my friends and colleagues here at IBM, I feel that it is time to face a new challenge.

Working for IBM is truly a superb experience. I could not ask for a better group of colleagues. I have grown in many ways here. I will always treasure the opportunities provided for me by this company and wherever I go, I will always carry the values of a true IBMer.

If you have questions, please feel free to ask. Thanks again for everything.

Sincerely,
Dale

So this it...

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 07:08:00 +0000

I am staring blankly at my pc... still constructing the resignation letter I will give my manager tonight.
Yeah it has to be short, well-mannared and not so emotional.
Oh yes I am emotional at this point! Whenever I try writing my resignation letter, my head gives me words that sound like I'm breaking up with my boyfriend. Indeed it feels like that. Almost 4 years of comfort under my company's safe wings.
Okay, so I'll copy a resignation template online. I guess that's the best thing to do.
But my heart is compelling me to write a long and emotional letter. Not only for my managers but also to my colleagues. I'm thinking so many versions....

The HR specialist, just called me a while back. Informed me that they raised their offer, closer to what I expected but not quite. I still accepted it, because this time it's not about the monetary value... it's about the new things I will learn and the new experience I will cherish.
Which brings me back to my doodling.
I have been endlessly questioning myself, am I about to do the right thing?
I really do not know. But I want to know, I am just scared that I might make a big mistake.
I have always had this feeling that I'm all dressed up but I have nowhere to go. Now that I have found a place to explore my capabilities, I suddenly felt scared to jump. I don't want to be a lost ball in the high weeds.

I have 2 weeks left, to finish things for my company. To bid goodbye to my friends and dwell on the memories I will bring as I move forward.
I am back to the wall, it's so difficult to decide. Although I know I have already made one. I am just anxious to finalize it.
The ball is in my court. This is it. I have to take the next step and move on.

I guess, I want to make this decision because I don't want to be stuck here and in the future I'd be thinking, "what if I took the job?"
I can always come back if I'm unhappy there. (There goes my consolation!) =P
It breaks my heart to leave. This has been my comfort zone. This place even makes me feel homier than my apartment. But life wouldn't be as fun without change. I don't want to settle for comfort.

I'll miss my friends, I'll miss my desk and my pc with a pink desk top. I'll miss my locker, the pantry, the entire city of Makati. I will sure miss a hell lot'ta things, but missing makes me grow. Detachment makes me strong and changes make me learn.
One thing is certain, I will always carry the values I have learned from this company.
No matter where I go, I will uphold the virtue of a true IBMer.

To Be or Not To Be

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 08:40:00 +0000

They say change is inevitable. But I am scared of drastic changes, especially if I don't know what's there waiting for me.

Today I am in complete daze. I dunno, but I think I sort of made this confusion to happen.

A few months back, I started exploring other companies because I got so disappointed with how things are going with my career. Not to mention the financial demand of having a family and the constant inflation of the prices of basic commodoties, the stockpile of loans, in short no matter how my husband and I manage our resources we still can't save for a better future.

Having said that, I applied at this company which is near our hometown. I thought if I got accepted, we will be able to move back to our hometown and we can finally get a house there like what we've always wanted. You see, we don't like to buy a house in Cavite and still work in Makati, especially now that gas is all up in the sky and even if we commute, it will just drain our energy and money. Living in Makati or any where in Metro Manila is not an option as well. Our year of stay here in Makati is okay, but living in a condo is something I would not want for my son. I want him to at least learn how to plant and play outside the streets which we can only do if we live in Cavite.

So the best step to take is to work in Cavite.

I did apply. It took me 2 months of waiting and yesterday, I finally got an offer. It was a fair offer, although not what I expected. I tried to negotiate as usual and I am still waiting for an update as I write this blog. But I kinda have my mind set already. I am going to leave.

Oh yes... I was able to write that without hesitation. But why am I anxious to do so? Everything came as planned and I am still overwhelmed.

I feel sad that I have to leave my present company. This is where I first worked. This is where my comfort zone is. I've spent four years of my life here and so many things happened in my life and the people here were with me to give me support.

I haven't drafted my resignation letter yet. I am heavy-hearted about this.

I dunno... I am seated here, blankly staring at my pc trying to create a resignaton letter.

But I can't.

Faith In Gloom

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 08:50:00 +0000

I am in so much despair.

The worrying kills me, but i have to have faith.

I am in a deep shit hole.

It is degrading. I feel so irresponsible. I just couldn't admit it to the world.

I couldn't admit it to myself.

When I chose God's path, I chose the tough spot.

I was humbled and brought down from where I used to stand.

I know I can make it. I just don't know how.

I am in despair.

I have nothing.

I have nothing to bargain with.

All I have is faith.

Try Yoga?

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 09:01:00 +0000

I'm stuck here in the office because the it's heavily raining outside and I did not bring an umbrella. Why do I always forget to bring an umbrella even if I know it rains in the afternoon?! Crap!

Oh well, since I'm stuck here and I don't want to work, I decided to surf the net and find a yoga class here in Makati. Somewhere near my office. A few weeks ago, I woke up and decided that I want to enroll in a yoga class. I think I need it because I need to lose weight and I don't feel healthy at all.

I thought, instead of spending money on spa, facial and other superficial cleansing and relaxation, why don't I invest on cleansing internally. I heard yoga is not only a way to lose weight, but it's a way of life. It cleanses not only your body but your mind as well. With all the meditation going on there, it helps a person view life positively.

I have no doubts about this. I know that yoga started thousands of years ago. I think this is what I need to flush the fat away and a few bitchiness too. Har!

Recently I had this talk with my boss, and somehow it made me feel that I need a change and I should be the driver of my car. So the first step is enrich myself... and this is the first step.
I really don't know how. I hope this is not one of those plans that I have that never materialized. But for sure I'll take on this. I just need to clear my financial burden, next month I will enroll. By the way, I saw this nice class here in Makati. Kinda expensive but i think it's worth it and very challenging too. It's Bikram Yoga. What's good about it is that you will sweat a lot because the yoga room is humid and kept at 38 degree Celcius. Woohoo! I bet all toxins are flushed out'ta my body!

Well, good luck! Hope I could do this. =)

H A L

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 00:23:00 +0000

i have peaceful life...
that is before that big storm!
it was a hollocaust...
it damaged the serenity of my soul
everything was surreal...
the pain i had to endure is tantamount to a pitless fall.
it seems to be never ending...
but God has been ever splendid
that he relieved my anguished heart.

slowly i rekindled the fire inside me,
embraced the rays of the sun that showered my face
on a bright sunday morning...
resurrected from the sorrow that's within.

but as i slowly mold myself to resilience,
another chaos led to misery,
uncertain what this emotion could be,
an extreme feeling which again walked me to
another turning point in life.

i tried to live happily,
though in the stillness of the night,
i hear the deafening sound of loneliness,
i put my headphones of denial,
to protect myself from the screaming truth
of being alone...

though a valiant fighter i may seem,
blissfully facing the fast pace of life,
lurking behind my shadow,
is the face of the knight
that the princess in me wants to possess.

his presence is there anywhere i set my eyes to,
he haunts my dreams...
and in my dreams he adores my soul.
but as the dawn gives birth to a new light,
darkness eats the hope in my heart,
for when i open my eyes to see the wonders of the world,
all i can lay my eyes to is the emptiness on his face,
telling no emotion that i can count my life on.
the creation has turned gray,
and so is the heart that has been yearning for a miracle,
a miracle that will save it from a slow, painful death.

in his brown eyes, i saw that miracle.
the strength and energy,
that brought back passion in my soul.
but the strength i need can never be mine,
for i will never be able to look into that brown eyes...
because the last time i did...
chaos came and ruined my peaceful life...
*07/11/2005

The Inevitable Change

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 21:54:00 +0000

Okay, so change is inevitable. The only thing that doesn't change is change happening to our lives. With big change that happend to our department recently, it kind of brought me the verge of giving up.

I tried to start the year by job hunting. It was fun! Reliving the moment of my fresh grad years, I enjoyed every single interview I attended and all the tests I have answered. But last evening, my very new boss asked me to join him with his meeting with the Operations manager of our account. The experience was overwhelming. For 2 years and a half, I haven't really attempted to reach out to the managers. I thought if I keep myself so visible to them I'd seem like a kiss ass freak. But hell noh... I never thought that this can be a learning opportuniy for me. This is what I want, not just an ordinary training you get to have while sitting comfortably.

I suddenly thought of not resigning. I am going to wait for our bonus in Feb. and I'll wait for that time that I can prove something to myself. When I know more about how it really is to work, balancing and keeping the lever of the call center industry.

Hate my work... my boss... this company

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 04:23:00 +0000

I am so sick and tired of working in this company I am with. I hate the new management. I hate my new manager. I hate what I'm doing. I just don't know what am I still doing here. I'm so sick... sick.... sick. I know I should be thankful that I have a job and I'm getting paid every 15th and 30th. I have been wanting to purchase the dvd of "The Secret" - I saw it once in Oprah, I was thinking it may change my point of view, but even if I have applied the basic principle - that is GRATITUDE, I still can't get back to the right track.

I hate them... I hate my god damn boss and the other power tripping boss.

I hate their e-mails, pushing us to do stuff, just to show off that they are the boss.

Grrr....

2008 Starbucks Planner

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 04:26:00 +0000

I finally have it!!!

While everyone is spending more than a hundred bucks each day for coffee to get the 2008 Starbucks planner, I on the other hand got the planner for free!

My hubby gave me the planner last night, he said he got it when he purchased gift certificates from Starbucks. Just in time! It's a good thing I haven't started spending so much money over coffee.

Woohoo! I'm one of the first persons to have the planner. Thanks to my hubby!

Gerald and Dale: Our Love Story

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Mon, 12 Nov 2007 05:47:00 +0000

Currently listening to: Canon in D
Mood: In love

Today's November 12th, everyone is very anxious counting the days before Christmas. I, on the other hand, am counting the days before our 1st year wedding anniversary (December 30th). I can't believe that almost a year has passed. When I look back at how our love story started, I couldn't help but feel proud of what we have achieved.

He was my classmate in my first year in highschool and since then we've became friends, we belong to the same peer. Although we weren't really that close to develop a love-relationship back then, I remember that we would often tease each other and fight with each other. Among my male friends, he was the one whom I'd describe as naive. During highschool, while every guy in the campus was busy checking out pretty girls, Gerald on the other hand, was busy with basketball. I never heard of him courting other girls.
He was always at our village. If not at our house, he was at the basketball court, playing with my neighbors who were also schoolmates of ours. Even then, I never envisioned us getting married and having our own family.
We graduated, went to college and had our separate lives. I haven't seen him in years. He really wasn't visible compared to my other highschool peers. We would often meet, every weekend normally, but Gerald was never there. During our entire college years I remember seeing him once or twice. The thought of him never crossed my mind since then.
My relationships back in college were fleeting moments.I have loved and lost. I played around and I was fooled to perfection. I had fun, I was happy and I was hurt. I experienced a lot and I have always thought that my lovelife is a tragedy.

Then I started to get tired of believing. I was tired of chasing rainbows.

One day, I decided to come back and see my friends, they are the ones who really make me happy. It was a clean break for me. It was the right timing because it was the 10th year anniversary of our peer. It was fun reminiscing our highschool days. The days when all we have to think of is our weekly allowance, our school projects, our notebooks and our crushes.
When we're together we are carefree. We dance under the rain, we play in the mud and we eat with an appetite of a horse.

Gerald was there, he was back. Things were totally different for both of us and when I saw him again, the first time after so many years, we were at the church, our highschool parish. He was standing right next to me and I felt something strange. I thought to myself, I missed him.

Few more days passed, we went out of town, attended so many parties with the whole bunch of friends, we had dinner together, we were text messaging each other, we ride the bus together, we watch movies together, the next thing I knew...
I was falling again.

I tried to bridle whatever emotions I have towards him. I was scared. I certainly don't want to lose a friend like him, especially a friendship that lasted for a decade. But no matter how you restrain your heart from loving, it will always come out and radiate in one's eyes.

After 6 months of dating, we got married and now we have a beautiful 4-month old baby boy. The whole year of marriage was not easy as well. We had to deal with a lot of problems especially because my pregnancy was unplanned. We had to deal with my mom, with finances, a new place for us and we had to deal with each other during those bad times. We argue once in a while, just like any married couple, but we also know how to laugh a good laugh. We remained friends even though we are lovers.
All I am praying for is a love made to last, a marriage bound by trust, respect and laughter.

I guess, everything really is on the lap of God.
We took the risk and the best thing in this world happened to me... I finally found love.

My Beautiful Family

Unforgettable Crush

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Sat, 10 Nov 2007 07:07:00 +0000

I know my answer to this is kinda late, but this is a very interesting topic. So I'd have to answer this.The most unforgettable crush I had was Alfred Antes. I was on my first year in college at San Sebastian-Recolletos, Cavite City and he was on his third year. I met this guy when I joined this organization, LKG (I just can't remember what it stands for). This group is primarily for theater artists, singers and dancers. He was the president of that group at that time.
When I saw him during the initiation rights, I was head over heels for him.

I did a lot of stupid things for this guy, just for me to get noticed by him. The most memorable, when I snuck out of our house one night to watch his band play. I was with some friends of course and one my friend knows the owner of the bar that's why we were able to get in and sit infront. It was an unforgettable night for me because we were able to talk for sometime.

I remember him calling me at home. Damn, it was the thrilling moments of my life. Of course I never expected that he would call me and have a chat. But that happened only twice I guess. There is another unforgettable moment for us. We had our celebration of St. Augustine's Day and we had this parade wherein we had to wear a retro costume, he looked so cute with his big, fluffy wig. While waiting for the parade to start moving, he hugged me from the back. God, it was a knee-trembling experience.

My illusion was put to a halt when I found out that he has a girlfriend. That news really made me cry.The feeling I had for him was really intense, but I know that was far from love.
I remember making a poem for him. The title was "Guitarman".

This One Goes Out To...

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 07:27:00 +0000

"It's dedication time.What song are you sending out, and who is it dedicated to?"

I would dedicate the song "Make me whole" to my husband Gerald. This song would definitely tell him how I feel for him and how he affected me ever since he came to my life.

Darlin' I want you to listen
I stayed up all night so I can get this thing right
And I don't think there's anything missin'
Coz a person like you made it easy to do
I've waited for so long
To sing to you this song

CHORUS
Coz your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

I think the angels are your brothers, yeah
They told about me, said "you're just what she needs"
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you

CHORUS
You make my dreams come true over and over again
And I honestly truly believe
That you and me are written in the stars
I'd live my whole life through
Just giving thanks to you (?)
CHORUS

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Make me whole

Gloria...Gloria... Magikera

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 01:43:00 +0000

What more can I say? Ito na ang tunay na mukha ni Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. Isang pangit na halimaw na nagtatago sa katawan ng maliit na babaeng nakasaya. Kung inaakala mo halimaw ka, na madadaya mo kami dahil sa harmless mong itsura eh nag kakamali ka.
Sa mga empleyadong katulad namin, madalas hindi na namin hinihimay pa ang laman ng balita dahil alam na namin na puro kurapsyon lang ang ngyayari. Pero itong ginawa mo... masahol pa sa ginawa ni Marcos. Kasuka-suka.

Kung pinalaya mo si Erap, bakit hindi mo narin palayain ang mga magnanakaw at snatcher? Si Juan na nag-shop lift ng isang lata ng cornbeef para ulamin ng anak niang dalawang araw ng walang makain. Si Juan na hindi na nakauwi dahil nadakip siya at walang awang ikinulong sa halagang trenta pesos na de lata. Si Juan, na magpasa hangang ngayon ay nasa kulungan, at hinahanap ng anak na pinangakuang babalikan upang dalhan ng makakakain.
Si Juan, nagnakaw ng lata ng corn beef, nag-hihirap dahil ang pera na dapat ay sa kanya ay ninakaw na ni Erap, upang ipangtustos sa mga kalantari nia, sa Boracay Mansion nia, sa pag-susugal, at pag bili sa kung sino sinong pulitak upang suportahan siya.
Sa pagkakataong ito... nanakawan ulit c Juan. Ngayon si Gloria naman!

Sino ba sa palagay niyo ang dapat mabulok sa kulungan? Ang ordinaryong taong si Juan, na nagnakaw dahil nagugtom o c Erap at si Gloria, na nagnanakaw dahil sa kasakiman?
Kung tutuusin, dapat higit pa sa 6 na taon ang hatol kay Erap. Halos hindi naman siya nag-hirap dahil kumportable siya sa kulungan nia. Dapat ay sa bilibid siya kinulong. At kung sinasabi nio na presidente siya kaya dapat lang siyang bigyan ng ganung pag trato, nasan na ang hustisya? Hindi ba dapat siyang mas mag-dusa dahil sakim siya at kahit maghirap ang bayan, basta't nagpapakasasa siya ay ayos lang.

At ikaw Gloria, sa palagay ko, imbes palayain si Erap, dapat itapon ka rin sa kulungan. Mag-sama kayo! Kaya mo lang naman pinalaya si Erap, dahil gusto mong maiwas ang attention ng tao sa ZTE deal. Gusto mong bumango ang pangalan mo sa ibang kalaban mo, upang makahanap ka ng kakampi.
Para sa pagkakaisa? Utot mo! Wag mo kaming gawing tanga... wag mong insultuhin ang katalinuhan ng mamamayang Pilipino.

Sana lang ay makarating sayo ang blog kong ito. Makita mo, na maraming simpleng mamamayan ang nagngangalit sa kasakiman ninyo ni Erap. Pareho lang kayong nagpapabango ng pangalan. Kunwari ka pa Erap na concern sa ina mo... bakit... gagaling ba yan pag nakalaya ka?
Kahit na anong pabango nio, balutin man ng ginto ang mga katawan nio, amoy pusali pa rin kayo! Lumilitaw parin sa mga gintong yan ang mga tinik at kaliskis sa balat ninyo. Mga hayop na mababang-uri. Tigilan nio na kaming mga Pilipino... kampon kayo ng demonyo!

ME...a.k.a. "The Bitchy Mug Goddess"

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 01:25:00 +0000

Remember my post about the "mug incident" wherein I threw my co-trainer's mug in the trash can because her stuff was all over the place? Well, this is their answer to the said event. It was so funny because they are keeping their mugs from me, even my boss... harharhar! I was tagged as The Mug Goddess.

Isn't it a nice caricature? Obviously, the one who's carrying a mug and about to throw it in the trash can, that's me! =)

Farewell

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 01:03:00 +0000

Last night we had a very important meeting. That meeting was different from all the fun meeting our team has ever had. It was fun as usual, but there was sadness and apprehension.
My boss and my friend is leaving our team.
He will be given a different assignment and we will be transferred under the umbrella of operations while he remains under the training department. When I was told about the news a few months back and just after I came back from my maternity leave, I really felt bad about it. First, because the training department is really fun especially our team building activities. We were a bunch of wacky and loud people, can't-wait-to-let-out-their-thoughts kinda person and each has their own sense of humor. Second, because my boss was lenient or should I say considerate. He may not be the perfect boss, but he trusts us and lets us manage our schedule and he makes it a point that work will not interfere with our life. Lastly, because my boss is my good friend as well.

I am actually proud of the kind of relationship we have. Compared to any supervisor-subordinate relationships, he was more of a friend than a supervisor. Among the group I am the tenured trainer and my boss and I have been working together for more than 2 years. Even if we don't really mesh in terms of work, he's someone I can rely on with my personal problems. May it be with love, friendship and family he has been always there.
He also shares his problems to me and that makes it special because that makes you feel so trusted. I practically grew up in this company. This is my first job and by the time I was promoted and worked under his supervision he saw how I changed from a party girl / date-someone-new-every-weekend kinda girl to a loyal girlfriend, a loving wife, an emotional pregnant woman and a dedicated mom. He literally saw the hormonal changes that happened to me =).
I would never forget the time when I got pregnant, it was unplanned and my husband and I had to go through a lot. Financially and emotionally, he was there to support me, understood my needs even if that meant not going to work or not submitting my deliverables on time. He was there when I crave for food and he was there when I cry because I just feel like crying.
We had bad times but definitely more of the good times. He's one of the people who can tolerate my bitchiness. I was surprised that he did not reprimand me for throwing my colleague's mug in the trash can. Instead, he told me that he'd call me if some girls pick up a fight with him.
But in this world nothing is permanent except for change. I am saddened by the news, apprehensive with the change, but this can be good for both parties. Life can be exhausting if it's all the same shit. Still, at the end of the day, I know we will always be good friends.

To you Jerome, thanks for being the best boss ever!

When I was a lot more thinner....

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 09:02:00 +0000

I was cleaning our online folders to eliminate the unnecessary files that are eating up the space in our shared drive. I saw this folder with photos of the Voice and Accent trainers. It was fun looking at them, I never knew I had a nice body before! Hehehe... I only realized that now that I'm kinda chubbier due to child birth.

I suddenly remembered the song of Baz Luhrman - Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen)... one part there goes:
"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine."

this was Nov '05, our very first team buiding activity. We just stayed at Mandarin hotel and had dinner at a Chinese restaurant in Makati.

Christmas 2005, dinner at Pasto, Makati. I miss the old VAPS team. I'm the only one left from this batch.

Posing as a Hawaian princes! Har! @ Jerome's birthday bash.

Photo taken during the Ride the Wave party at Bagaberde, Manila (July 2006). I was with Ritu - the "Indian Princess" and my boss Jerome.

Hawaiian wasn't really the theme of my boss' birthday bash, it just so happened that there were Bouganvillas around the place and we had nothing good to do! Hehehe!

Another entry proving how vain I can get! I love taking photos of my friends and me... well... you have to love your own! =)

Single Careererz

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Mon, 22 Oct 2007 08:28:00 +0000

current mood: Nostalgic

I was browsing my Friendster friends and came accross the account I built for my colege girlfriends... Single Careererz. I felt very sentimental about it... years passed and I miss my friends, the days we hang out at Eliza's Tapsihan, Kinse Lang and Batibot.
Our days we spent by loitering around the campus checking out cute guys and of course bitchin' around other college girls. I was a typical kolehiyala back then. I remember, other girls would try to bully me because I was such a "prima donna". Our group was one of the popular group in the College of Accountancy, and I guess one of the favored by the professors since some of us excel in school, but of course, some of us excel in cheating! Hah! We were bunch of "pilyas" (naughty girls) and snobs. We also have a few guy friends in the group and they also have their own share of roguishness.

Our group was mostly dominated by single girls and a single guy (Jay-r)- just so you know, he's not gay. We considered him our boyfriend since he's aloof with other girls except with us and he is very dear to us no matter how snob he is. We also have a gay friend Ralf, who loves designing clothes. We loved that fact that most of us are single, and we enjoyed each time we spent together.

No heartaches, no lover's quarrel, no unsafe sex. Haha!

I miss the days we study at the library and the librarian gets mad because we were trying to laugh quietly. I miss the days we splurge on food and movies. We are a bunch of ladies with voracious appetite! We drink til we drop and we sleep together and wake up with an enormous hang-over. I miss our laughter, as if we don't care at all. If we were from a school of nuns, I think we would have been kicked out for we lacked finess and we were tactless.We were proud that we're single. We were happy just by being each others' dates.

Now that I'm married, I can't call myself "singlecareerer", but I'm happy that I have once founded a cheezy yet fun group. A friendship made to last, even if we're all married or not!

I miss my amigas and amigos!

Foxy Beggar

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Sat, 20 Oct 2007 08:10:00 +0000

I was standing outside PB Com Tower waiting for my husband, suddenly a man came up to me and told me that he was about to take an exam for a call center and because he was rushing he forgot his wallet. I didn't have money that time because I left my wallet at my office.
I was really thinking about him as I went back to the office. He seemed really troubled and in need. I felt guilty because I was thinking badly about him. I was a victim of such modus operandi before wherein this old guy asked for 50php from me because according to him he dropped his money when he got some coins from his pocket. I gave him money. Then I saw him again the next day doing the same thing he did to me. That's what I thought of the man I saw that morning.

I told the story to my colleagues and I got money from my wallet and was about to go and give him some, but one of my co-trainer asked me how he looked like and upon giving him the description, he confirmed that he was just making up such stories because that guy has always been there asking people for 20bucks.

Damn! Isn't that so bad? I mean, that's good that he's not stealing, but by the looks of him, he is so capable of getting a job, he speaks well and he's pretty much able. I can't believe there are lots of people who will resort to this kind of deceitful act. It's frustrating because sometimes you really want to help, but at the same time you don't want to be abused or deceived by these kind of people. They are triggering your emotional-softy-heart, making you feel guilty if you don't help.

A modern beggar, wearing not tattered clothes but a clean polo and jeans, a nice shoes and bag, pretending to work but in reality victimizing people with kind hearts.

Mall Blast: Glorietta 2 - Ayala Center

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Fri, 19 Oct 2007 07:51:00 +0000

I really do not know how to start writing this tragic event. Until now, I still have goosebumps whenever I see the photos of the explosion that happened in a very popular mall in Makati, Philippines (Glorietta Mall - Ayala Center).

I was at home sleeping, I woke up around 1pm undecided if I'm going to the mall to buy diapers and other baby stuff. I was too lazy to go out for it was hot outside so I decided to do the laundry instead. I turned the tv on and there the shocking news of the day confronted me.

At least eight people were killed while at least 70 others were injured after an explosion at Glorietta Mall, around 1:30pm. It was so shocking because it was just 10mins away from my place and if I had decided to do the shopping that time, I would have died at this moment.
The explosion is still a puzzle to the authorities, different speculations arised. Some said it was caused by a liquefied petroleum gas tank but many believe that it was caused by a bomb. Even that speculation has its own supposition. According to Sen. Trillanes, this event was caused by the Philippine government itself. they said the President is behind this because they want to declare a "state of emergency". Again, the people in government is in the middle of chaos. Larger than the explosion, these animals are pointing fingers as to who's clean and who's the criminal. Can't they just focus their attention to the casualties and the injured? I guess not. At the end of the day, these people, the corrupt and the claiming-non-corrupt do not really care.

Actually, I really do not know the story behind the dirty politics that we have. All I know is that, it's as dirty as mud and corruption is rampant. Whatever caused the explosion, whether it's lpg, terrorist or the president, this event scares me. A place where people relax and enjoy themselves, is a place that can be dangerous, as dangerous as an active volcano.

I'm scared not only for myself but also for my son. What will be the future ahead of him?

When bitchyness is too much...

noreply@blogger.com (Mommy Malditta) — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 03:08:00 +0000

I threw her mug in the trash can next to me.

I was annoyed and pissed because she wasn't neat with her things.

Her mug was filled with water and a colleague accidentally kicked it when it was on the floor.

The floor got wet, and I was upset, so I threw her mug in the garbage net.

Now I feel guilty, for being such a bitch.

They call me Queen B, for I am the only one who has guts to do such thing.

I am not proud.

I want to apologize.

But I'm such a sissy to admit my mistake.

I am a Bitch!

That was too much.