Editor’s Note: Now the contents of this article are my super-twisted and toxically cynical opinion on religion, Eddie Long and humanity in general. There is no teaching here, or lessons, or analysis, this is simply a “what in the hell is wrong with people?” type of rant. So read at your own risk and if you get offended then you can take it up in the commentary. You have been warned.

* * * *

Meet Bishop Eddie Long, one of the biggest pimps in America today by the laws of The Game and the pimp god himself. Eddie’s game is so silky that it bypasses men like Hugh Hefner in the way that the world has accepted their pimping. Recently, Eddie has been accused of “playing” with young boys all while collecting large sums of bank from his “sheep”. A few days ago Eddie was crowned king by a Rabbi of the Jewish faith and all the players world-wide rejoiced – because if this doesn’t prove that his pimping is space-aged, nothing else will. Observe…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVkoQHCXSK8

I’m gonna reserve my judgment on religion today being that I am neither Jewish or a bible beating Christian… BUT… did I just see a congregation of people, numbering in the hundreds, look on in awe, as their preacher is wrapped in a scroll, hoisted unto men’s shoulders and crowned? I’ll tell you what, if the invaders from out of space are coming to get us, now would be as good a time as any, as it seems to me that people are mindless, hopeless and easily controlled… I know, it’s nothing new.

How sweet is it to be Eddie? I know there’s a ton of puns you can pull from that question but think about it. You preach anti-homosexual rhetoric, have more than a few men (who were boys when you got to them) come out and say you did inappropriate things with them, you paid them off quietly outside of court and all to be crowned the Jewish Christian King. I’m sure Catholic Boy-Lover Priest is feeling jealous right about now… where is his crown?

What do you think Hall? Why is it that I am not seeing anyone get up and leave at this spectacle and the egotist that’s behind it all? We all know what preachers do when they have absolute power… there’s enough historical evidence of that to write a 10 volume set. I am absolutely blown away by this video and more shocked by the people sitting there and eating it up.

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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Editor’s Note: One of my favorite blogs to read outside of The Hall (yes the Dragon does fly off to different lands periodically is Revolutionary Paidera. The author and denizen of The Hall: Antonio Maurice Daniels, always writes gems that inspire deep thought and necessary reflection into our build-up. Recently he delivered an entry called “Drop out of popularity contests” which should be read by anyone who finds him/herself struggling to be relevant, cool, or impressive to outsiders. It’s all about DOING YOU and man if it doesn’t echo everything I believe in the way we should live our lives. Here’s a snippet and link to the rest…

Too many people are far too focused on how they can get everyone to like them.  You must understand that everyone will not like you.  Some people will not like you without any rationale—don’t try to force them to like you because you won’t win them over.  It’s better to have one or two good or great friends than to hang around a thousand people who you’ve fooled yourself that they’re your friends just so you can tout you have such a large number of friends.  It certainly does not seem like you’re attempting to truly please yourself when you do this type of thing.

Participating in popularity contests will leave you exhausted, empty, disappointed, and unhappy.

Live in your own spotlight!

[ Click here to read the rest on "Drop Out of Popularity Contests" ]

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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Nothing will make you feel broker than having a trip or activity come up and not be able to attend due to a lack of money. It will not faze you if this occurs due to life kicking your ass at every turn, expensive legal or medical bills, or having loaned your lot to a family member that needed it. But if you burnt your money on a house that you have no business owning, a car you have no business driving, or a chick you have no business dating, I am warning  you right now that you are going to feel like a loser.

It is for times like this that you must respect the necessity of saving for a rainy day, or better yet, saving for a fun-filled day. Living recklessly, hood-rich or beyond your means will always have you broke at trip time and your smart friends (who actually save ) will cease to invite you because they will begin to assume that you are always broke.

On my first trip to Las Vegas I was young, adventurous and crazy, but I always kept a yard in the bank for emergency outings (read: strip clubs). The Vegas trip was very impromptu with little time to prepare but thanks to my savings I was able to travel, sleep and gamble with my buds. Looking back on that week, it was one of the most memorable vacations I have ever had and it was all due to my ability to say yes when it was offered.

If you want the culture, experience and growth that comes with traveling, do not allow the trivial toys of the day burn your money and prevent you from experiencing it. I may not have had every vice that that came out in my younger year but I have had wonderful trips and memories. If I could rewind the hands of time I would not change a thing.

Traveling doesn’t even have to be out of town, or the country for that matter but we want to have the ability to say yes to any adventure – even the mundane ones. There have been classy restaurants, exotic cuisines and wines that I would have had to miss out on had I been a spendthrift. It has benefited me greatly to play wise with money and choose to buy into things that had a chance at expanding my mind, my wallet or my smile. Young readers, I would implore you to do the same.

We should weigh what it is that is important to us in life and choose to spend our hard-earned money on those things rather than trifles that we will regret tomorrow. If keeping up with the Jones’s is what is your raison d’état then ignore this article and enjoy your fabulous life, but if you plan on traveling and experiencing culture then save a dime today so that It can be $10,000 tomorrow.

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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I’ve never missed having a “father” in my life being that I had so many strong male influences growing up but listening to the late, great James Brown’s “Papa Don’t Take No Mess” I actually wish I had a cool ass daddy like he did. The song has very few lines but each one of them you can tell was heartfelt, impactful and coming from a place of deep love for his father.

Check it out if you don’t know it (Video following the article).

Lessons from Papa…

“Papa digs the chick If she look real slick, Papa rap is very quick He definitely ain’t no trick.”

What I get from this is that Papa spits his game directly and to the point; being that he is a man of confidence and stature, the chick either gets on board or keeps it moving. I love the hell out of this, Papa “definitely ain’t no trick” so he isn’t buying gifts, paying for groceries or brown nosing women to get with them. He gets to the point and his words are golden – take it or leave it.

“Papa didn’t cuss, didn’t raise a whole lotta fuss but when we did wrong Papa beat the hell outta us!”

Sounds to me like the strong, silent type with a firm hand as a disciplinarian. While many of us can be one or the other, Papa is the type of traditional man who you have to respect with a small inkling of fear. Nobody acts foul under Papa’s watch because there will be hell to pay, but at the same time he is no savage: cussing, being loud and carrying on.

“I saw Papa cry when he thought that I would die… said something was in his eye… I knew it was a lie.”

Many of you will take issue with this portion being that in this modern day men are pushed to cry more, feel more and open up more. But in the time of James Brown’s father a man crying was absolutely unheard of. Yet with that pressure of manhood on his shoulders he is unable to withhold the emotions behind losing his son… you have to respect that. Papa is human after all, plus how funny is it that he played it off as something being in his eye?

“Mama said… Papa’s smart, Papa got a whole lotta heart, Papa would do his part when the game get hard.”

This last line is the real meat and potatoes of the song… “Papa got a whole lotta heart” is saying that Papa would not back down when it came time to dance in any situation. Papa was brave, and quick with his mind – that’s where “Papa’s smart” comes in. James mother is letting him know just how badass his Papa really was

“Papa would do his part when the game get hard” – see the way I read that is that Papa was a hustler. If there were no groceries, Papa would do the damn thing and provide, which is the heart and soul of being a man in our society now isn’t it? No, Papa wasn’t complaining or crying about life, feeling sorry for his self, Papa did his part when the game got hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pe1UOr___pg

Thank you James Brown, you were a legend and an icon whose music taught us so much more than you would believe.

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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I’m sick of short guys complaining all the time as if we tall people were born lucky and have it much easier in the world than they do. The fact of the matter is the only real complaint that a short guy has is with the importance that women have placed on height! The only reason that we get dates any easier is due to the invention of the high-heel shoe; the heel adds 2, 3, 4, hell sometimes 6 inches to a woman’s height and since they never want to be the tall one – well do the math. There is your complaint.

Let me explain to you some of the reasons why being tall sucks, everyone has their issues but tall isn’t automatically a win. First off, I am 6’2” and that’s tall but it isn’t extremely tall – so I can only imagine the hell that guys who are taller go through with their height. Let me ask you this short guy…

How does it feel to actually sit comfortably in an airplane?

Think about that for a second. Imagine if every time you sat on an airplane you had to have your knees jammed into the back of the seat in front of you for the entire 2-4hr flight.

How about commuting in a car… Lose out on the shotgun and again you have a seat jammed into your knees for the duration of the ride.

I wonder how it feels to walk into a department store looking for pants and being able to actually find my size. It must be really great knowing that the brand and color is all you have to worry about outside of trying to find the single solitary 34” length pant in the rack of 50. Let’s not even get into dress shirts… it’s not even funny.

The irony of the tall vs short thing is that this world is not meant for us tall people – it was built for shorter guys. Why is this? Why do you make cars compact, seating so tight, and ceilings so low yet praise us for our height? Try having to stand in a bus when all the seats are taken as a tall guy, we constantly have a pain in our neck from bending over to avoid our head hitting something.

As a tall person there are many cars that I will never ever have the luxury of driving due to their tiny, compact size. What if I loved racing and driving little rat cars like the Mazda Miata? Let me tell you something, I drove one before and it was a journey of pain nearly resulting in an accident. At my height I cannot fit into any vehicle near that size of sports car.

Always The Villain

Tall people are always the villains; we’re Goliath, we are Ivan Drago, Darth Vader, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, Jaws, Bill “The Butcher” Cutting. Do you know why we are always the villain? I’ll tell you why; everyone has that image in their head of a fight, where you have a short guy vs a tall guy and they think of Bruce Lee taking on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in Game of Death. The short guy in our minds is always the underdog – think Tyrion Lannister from HBO’s Game of Thrones.

See tall people are always villains, which may be another part of our sex-appeal to women being that everybody does love a villain… hmm women, I guess that makes it alright huh? Hell even Vader had Natalie Portman.

One final example of why tall isn’t ”all that”, is the fact that being tall automatically comes with the stereotype that you are good at sports. Ask any tall non-athletic person about the hell they went through in High School when they got question after question about basketball, football or anything. I can even go one step farther, try being tall AND black – whew, let me tell you – the questioning gets old.

Yes being tall means you aren’t allowed to suck at sports, it’s like God gave you this gift and height and how dare you not use it to be great you worthless, tall bastard!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_E6OfdzBmTU

So the next time you are feeling salty about your height and you want to cry about some chick who wouldn’t date you because she stands an inch over you in heels; just go into your closet and pull out those pants that you found easily the last time you went shopping. Hop into your brand new sports car, take it to the airport and fly comfortably to see your family and appreciate the fact that you are allowed to suck at sports and that you will easily fit into this world no matter where you go.

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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Editor’s Note: While family members and self-conscious losers will throw out the word bougie in order to make themselves feel better about putting us down, many people ARE bougie, and more than earn the label due to their elitist behavior.

What Does It All Mean?

I was reading an article recently where the author was lamenting the fact that she had been called bougie (black slang for bourgeois, which essentially means an elitist faker). From reading the commentary and people sharing their stories of receiving this label from family members and the like, I realized that I had the same things going as those who had been called bougie in the past. You know… education, a love for food and wine, reading, going places where people don’t normally go… etc. etc.

The difference however is that I have never been given the label; sure I’ve been called weird, nerd or even derogatory terms, but bougie is a label that was never thrown at me. It made me wonder why – so I took a look internally at what differentiated me from people who got the label and finally it dawned on me, I am not an elitist.

If you get called bougie by a stranger, chances are you were out of line somewhere and being a douche in the general sense. You were giving people judgmental glances (lots of women do this), speaking French loudly in a place where you knew people wouldn’t understand you, or being a wine Nazi of the worst kind.

Women Are Called Bougie, Men Are Called Something Else

Men are rarely called bougie, if you are a black man that has been called this by another man I will say that the name caller is either picking at you playfully or you are a second away from an ass whipping.

No, we men get called a number of other things, names like high siddity, brand new, uppity negro, Tom, Carlton Banks, the list goes on. Sure I’ve gotten the stares of wonderment from the city mouse and the country mouse alike as to what side of the fence I sat on (I’m undeniably black but cleaner than a bar of soap – if you get my drift), but never have I been labeled any of these things even though I love to partake in the finer, worldly things in life.

Do you know why I have never been labeled Bougie?

1. I don’t have loud bougie conversations in public places – Even I hate people who do this. Keep your conversations private like they are meant to be and don’t sit in a crowded room speaking a romance language (French, Spanish or Italian) loudly as if you want others to be impressed.

“Look honey that negro is speaking something other than negro!”

I swear that bougie is the black variation of the word douchebag because many of the offenders share the same traits. Keep it low and private, nobody is impressed that you took 6 years of Italian, trust me.

2. I know that nobody cares about my education – I have a 4-year degree, I’ve held a solid career and I’ve done many things that people would deem “successful”, and this sentence is one of the only times I have admitted to this. When you proclaim your accolades as if the world owes you a cookie, you are likely to piss someone off because nobody cares, nobody wants to hear it and it really isn’t that impressive. Tell you what, cure Cancer and you can brag about that forever – people will at least respect that even if you talk about it all the time.

3. I do not correct people’s language or lack of culture – The other day I ran into friends at the birthday party of a man of honor that I know. One of the women in attendance is of Chinese descent and approached me about a movie I had posted about in the past and we got to talking. When I mentioned one of the movies I mispronounced the Chinese title and she quickly corrected me in a very condescending tone. A few nights before this I saw another girl laugh at a guy for ordering red wine with his chicken – these examples earned them the label “bougie” because it really isn’t that serious to people. I never asked for the pronunciation and dude wanted red wine.

How to stay clear of the bougie label

Trust me, I cringe at people’s spelling, pronunciation and lack of culture but I was not put on this earth to “civilize the savage”, so I make sure that I am straight and I keep it moving. People appreciate that. I dress clean like a prep, love the hell out of a sports coat and can appreciate a $60 plate of food but the people who take it a step further to assume that this makes them “a step above” are the ones that people dislike as a whole.

Being labeled bougie puts you on par with the dude who got a $1500 check back from an accident, buys a used Mercedes and drives it slowly through the neighborhood bumping Watch The Throne on high so that everybody sees him. Nobody likes a faker, a loudmouth or a snob. It isn’t the world’s lack of culture that got you the label so don’t go playing innocent when it gets thrown at you, chances are you earned it in one facet of the way or the other. Let’s keep it classy.

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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Yes, the beauty that is the sundress… comfortable for women but sexy as hell for men. It is the dress that keeps on giving – if you take notice that is. Many “ass men” feel me on the power of a sundress just because a thick girl wearing one will magnetize more eyes than a $100 bill sitting on the ground. It just hugs a woman in the right way – do you know what I’m saying? Sundresses are awesome, visually they reveal sexy shoulders (that’s another article), shapely legs, relaxed hair… and that little bit of fantasy dealing with naïve country girls looking to experiment. Woof!

I’ll tell you why we men love sundresses so much; they symbolize that feminine balance that drives us crazy! The cut of the sundress is short enough to keep us guessing, yet long enough to remain innocent. The skirt portion of it billows out a bit where a good draft of wind may just have you going all Marilyn Monroe and giving our eyes a treat. How can we not love that?

Sundresses have thin material that hugs your frame in the right places, plus you can go commando in them and drive your man crazy…

Being that I am a man who prefers cold weather, I will say that one of the only bonuses to a hot summer is when the sundresses come out to play. It makes for a year round bout of bird-watching when the sexy is there rocking velour in winter and sundresses in summer.

Let me break it down as to why sundresses are great:

• If you’re cute, regardless of how little or much you have, they manage to still look good.
• Dat ass…
• They leave a lot to the imagination.
• Easy access – They come off easily… -___- just lift em and you’re good to go!

Ya, you may want to hear that it makes you look feminine (which it does 150% and more) BUT for us men, it’s sex, it’s all sex and that dress is built for it. You may ask why and I’ll say that it boils down to their extreme flexibility in usage. When you and your lady want to get freaky outdoors, it’s a no-brainer for her to wear a sundress and nothing else. When we walk behind you and that sundress, the eyes are resting on your lower back… WE’RE MEN! Just look back at us and give a little smile and we may have to excuse ourselves and run off into the woods. No joke.

So be a dear and keep the sundresses primed for summer… especially the yellow or white kind with the flowers. That’s what I find sexy… so send me pics… just kidding. Or am I?

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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To the average man it seems as if women want 150% of our attention, all the time… they want us to play on their time, in their stadium, in their city. When asked “what must a man do for a woman to respect our personal guy time?” The answer is always “make time for her”, but how much time is enough time? What about the chick with nothing going on, who will keep you on the couch watching crap TV for hours if you let her? Men don’t find that fun, interesting or remotely desirable – but we feel we have to, or the woman will leave. Sound like hell?

Well gamers, loners and forever-aloners, I offer some solutions to your woes with the boring, seemingly demanding woman in your life who always has something to say when you’re enjoying your thing.

What’s Her Issue Anyway?

Women are selfish and competitive with your attention. This means that your hobby is as much a problem as your mom, ex-girlfriend, the hot chick walking by, or anything that has your attention above them. To us this seems like a sad, petty way to go about life but to them it’s real. No woman wants to be number 2 to anything involving you and so you will have to master the art of “faking it”.

“It’s all about the video game getting the love… when you play you are animated, smiling, passionate, happy… all things a woman wants from a man. Then you get off the game and the only thing you want from us is sex.” – Denise.C

The above quote used videogames as an example since it is one of the most misunderstood hobbies that people with non-gamer significant others give them hell for. So many gamers have come to me asking how to tackle this girlfriend jealousy thing that I will be using videogames as the model for the advice that I am about to give.

Nerds Are Too Honest With Women

Seriously, I am actually saying this and meaning every word of it – you nerds take the honesty thing overboard. You DO NOT have to tell your new girl that you raid every Thursday at 8 pm, you DO NOT have to tell her that you have a Street Fighter tournament on Saturday and you DO NOT have to make her accept your gamer life or hit the road. Do you like sex and videogames? It’s possible to have both if you keep your awkward, overly honest mouth shut.

The only time you should reveal your hardcore gamer side to your woman is if:

• She herself is a hardcore gamer.
• She has her own non-money making hobby that she is passionate about – which you find worthless.
• She’s one of the few people in the world who isn’t a judgmental ass and won’t air out your issues to her girlfriends at work.
• You work insane hours, pull in more money than god and pamper her ass with gifts and time to where anything more would damn near be suffocating.
• You pack more meat than Lexington Steele in your pants.

Anything other than the above list and you will need to keep the raids, the 6 hour Final Fantasy playtimes and the Skyrim obsession to yourself. If your girl wants to know what you were doing that whole day, then you need to plan ahead for your gaming time.

The Sponsor A Married Gamer Program

Many of my married friends have non-gaming wives who would rather them ride the couch watching reruns like Al Bundy than to be organizing drops on the enemy in Battlefield 3. For these friends, we single men are  a godsend. Married gamers, find a single man to befriend fast if you want to use this method of ducking the battle axe swinging from your wife’s arm.

You will need a laptop (if you’re a PC Gamer), a flat screen television, your game system(s) of choice and an agreement with your man that if the wife calls you were out kicking it, playing basketball or whatever else she can accept as a reasonable pastime within her mind. Sad isn’t it? But it is what it is, you are essentially having an affair with your game system and letting your buddy provide the alibi for you. Go to his house to game and keep those dirty videogames out of her sight!

Editor’s Note: Many men have even setup a game station at their jobs to avoid the scrutiny of their wives at home.

The Late Night Grind

If you don’t want to cheat on your girl with your gaming, you can schedule your time for games to be when she’s away or asleep. The downside to doing this is that you will push her away without knowing it. Suddenly her emergency visit to her mom’s is like winning the lottery as you pepper her with questions like “how long will you be gone!” in hopes of it being an entire week.

Pro-Tip For Alphas – Just Demand Your Time

Are you a confident man who can assert yourself without worrying about being left high and dry? Then establish a set schedule of “me time” that your girl is to let you go do whatever it is you want to do by yourself – this would be hobby time. Most women will respect this and the honesty and while she may pick at you a bit for it, she’ll keep it a non-issue.

* * * *

At the end of the day please make sure that you aren’t actually the bad guy in this whole thing (you know, the loser who games all day and ignores wife and kids). Give your woman attention, make sure she feels loved and do not obsess about your hobby to her – she will only wonder why you aren’t going on about her the same way. Keep it cool, don’t be so damn honest and plan your hobbies around your woman, not the other way around.

Originally posted at: HalloftheBlackDragon.com

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