The Black Laser

Your mother is of such extreme proportions that...

The Wizard — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:31:40 +0000

A few days ago a user on Reddit started a thread for nerdy "Yo' Mama" jokes, and it's delightful. Here are a few of my favorites. Your momma's so fat that you can see whats behind her due to gravitational lensing. The woman who carried you in her womb for your gestation period and later expelled you from her vagina has such an excess of adipose tissue Continue reading

Morbid Angel's Domination

The Wizard — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 02:31:38 +0000

In a day when there were only two cores—hard and grind— and before anyone crabwalked their way through a music video, before there was a scene for which there could be hair, before anyone auto-tuned the clean vocals in their songs, Morbid Angel released an album called Domination. The year was 1995 and I was 13 years old Continue reading

This is the most offensively adorable thing I've seen in ages

The Wizard — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:35:35 +0000

Seriously. What the hell. I am so mad right now Continue reading

I wish television ads were still like this

The Wizard — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 17:18:17 +0000

Toby y Sheila

The Wizard — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:44:04 +0000

THE BEAK FELL OFF. Thanks, Elizabeth! Continue reading

Glottal Opera

The Wizard — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:03:14 +0000

This is amazing. They shoved a fibre optic camera up this woman's nose and down her throat to get these shots. Your throat looks like an alien when you're singing. So great. Thanks, Charles V! Continue reading

The Great Lucky Charms Challenge of 2009

The Wizard — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:54:19 +0000

Gardner, who I've discussed before on The Black Laser, loves pranks. Loves them. He also loves mischief making and bets with people to get them to do outrageous things. He's a good natured troublemaker, and also a complete pain in the ass sometimes. For instance, I remember one night I was at work making copies of tapes or something and he calls me. He says, "Hey dude, will you Continue reading

Moroder plays with his Vocoder.

The Wizard — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 19:01:41 +0000

Because I don't have a whole lot of awesome to talk about right now, here's a pretty killer video of Giorgio Moroder playing with his Vocoder. Please note the mustache. Enjoy! Continue reading

Death by Black Hole.

The Wizard — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 22:44:26 +0000

As you might know, this site posts to Facebook every time I write something. Fun. Anyway, a friend of mine Matt left this comment: Hey bro if you go past the event horizon you are fucked, whether by gravity or your inside-out crew -- doesn't matter. That reminded me of this amazing video that describes what it would be like to be killed by a black Continue reading

Even The New Yorker has hit on the fire.

The Wizard — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 22:01:49 +0000

Sometimes the internet is a marvelous thing. What we were discovering just weeks ago has since completely blown up and spread virally. I'm, of course, talking about Die Antwoord, South Africa's finest art. And even the stodgiest of the old guard, The New Yorker, has hit on their magnificence. Check it. If authenticity is a vampire threatening to suck Continue reading