We are vivacious and outgoing, we’re idea people, we’re often the life of the party…and we’re highly susceptible to distraction. 

As many of my ENFP sisters and I have learned over time and through maturation, there are a number of ways we harness our inherent characteristics for good and minimize the ones that can get us into trouble.

As a successful professional, I am pretty confident with my work persona that I’ve cultivated over the last 15 years. However, there are areas of my personal life that don’t get the same disciplined treatment. (Please don’t ever look in my closets, cupboards, or under my bed.) 

About once every six months, I get on a healthy living kick. I learn about something new and I am SO PUMPED.

I buy new sports bras and leggings.

I download home workout planners from Pinterest.

I briefly consider buying something stupid like this:

I talk to my trainer about new things to focus on.

I set crazy goals.

I throw out all the crap in my fridge and then hit the Whole Foods.

I pin things like this assuming I’ll eat more veggies if they’re cute:

I’ll wear an exercise monitor under my clothes each day.

I’ll get on a roll until one day, I’m at a golf tournament and just five minutes after I’ve finished bragging to my foursome about my new fabulous ultra-healthy lifestyle, the stupid beverage cart girl comes around with world famous DoubleTree Hotel warm chocolate chip and walnut cookies.

And I’m all diet, what diet?!

I do and have for as long as I can remember.

Now, I should tell you that my dreams are not prophetic or remarkable, so please don’t be misled.

No, my dreams are silly and weird and usually only funny to me.

Quite often, I awake with a jump to the reenk reenk reenk of my alarm clock and try to remember where I am. As soon as I wipe the sleep from my eyes and head towards the shower, I will stop and remember what nonsense was swimming around in my head just moments earlier.

• I am constantly falling off of a curb or slipping and falling in public. These are the nights when I am twitchy and awake feeling less than rested.
• Sometimes I fight with friends or coworkers about things that would NEVER happen. Many years ago, while working in Congress, I dreamed that we had a kitchen in our legislative office and my director was yelling at me for making macaroni and cheese the wrong way.
• I never see the future in my dreams, unless they involve me marrying a handsome movie star who was in a film I’d just seen the night before. I’m sure Jeremy Renner and I will live happily ever after.
• Sometimes I dream in cartoon. My sister recently reminded me that I once dreamed of cartoon penises. I’m sure this has something to do with the herbal scents all around me at the Dave Matthews concert that night.

Friends of mine have prophetic dreams that are SO CLEAR no interpretation is required. Others have dreams about fights with their husbands that are so real, it takes hours before letting their grudges go! Some tell me they’ve NEVER recalled a single dream. How our minds work during our sleeping hours is boggling.

On Friday, knowing I’d be seeing a certain someone over the weekend who I often feel tension with, I had a pretty big dream. I was getting ready to lay down the law and tell her exactly how I felt. In my dream, I was furthering my angst by telling everyone else what I was planning to do. But then, when the moment of confrontation came, my mouth was FULL of toothpaste and I couldn’t speak. I took that as a sign to keep my trap shut. 

So, how about you? Do you dream? If so, do you ever consult dream dictionaries? One of my favorites is www.dreammoods.com – I’m sure it’s absolute bunk, but it sure is fun to figure out what all the goofiness could mean!

We hadn’t spoken for a few days, which was not the norm for us. I emailed a cooking question, which she would typically respond to right away. She’d been sick, so when I didn’t hear from her, I didn’t give it much thought. A few days after that, I called to check in on her – no response. A week later, now sensing something wasn’t right, I sent another email asking what was going on in her life and telling her that I missed her.

Finally, I got a call back.

But it really wasn’t the kind of call I wanted to receive. Rather than catching up over the phone, she wanted to meet in person and to tell me some things that had been on her heart.

I got that antsy feeling in my gut. Something wasn’t right, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I replayed all of our recent interactions and nothing stood out.

To read more, please visit A Deeper Family!

Him: So, you want kids?

Me: Ya, sure I do!

Him: I’ll give you a kid.

Me: He must have a bratty niece or nephew, I thought.

Him: ARE YOU OVULATING?

Me:

And then:

So…there’s that. Anywhoo…

THE DATING CHALLENGE

Week 4: Do the Things I Love to Do

A number of people have suggested over the years that if you want to meet someone who enjoys the same things, you should just do the things you already love to do. Sounds simple enough, but I’ve never really focused on that. Sure, I love the idea of having shared hobbies, and I see the value of that in relationships that have stood the test of time, but I guess I’ve never really given it a shot. This week, that’s about to change!

On Monday night, I’ll hit the driving range (and then the lounge). On Tuesday night, I’ll take a lesson at the tennis club and hope to chat up some fellas. On Thursday, I have a black tie event for work (with numerous men!), and then, Friday through Sunday, I’ll be up in wine country with friends! Imma get my flirt on doing the things I love to do.

What do you think?

Going into this challenge, I felt pretty confident.

Until a coworker mentioned there were tons of hookers in this area.

We kept with our plan regardless, because it was convenient.

I got there early and began to tweet about my surroundings.

#jjdates HOLLAH!

The pickins’ were slim…and by slim, I mean 60 years old.

Once again, I chose wrong. No, there weren’t any hookers (that I could identify), but there were a crap ton of old dudes getting their flirt on.

I was just about to text Clare and tell her not to come and that we should go somewhere else, when two guys walked in and sat next to me at the bar. One of them was pretty cute, so I put down my phone and made some sort of a lame opening salvo.

He responded.

We got to chatting.

A female friend of theirs walked in and he got distracted, so I picked up my phone and acted busy.

He turned back to me for more small talk.

This was actually going well!

Then Clare arrived and our chitchat came to a halt.

But as we wrapped our up conversation and paid the bill, cute Happy Hour Guy popped back up again.

AND GAVE ME HIS CARD!

“I got digits, I got digits, I got digits,” I sang internally while strutting my stuff out of the restaurant.

We’ve traded a few emails and plan to go out tomorrow night.

This may very well go nowhere. He might even be a shorty (we were sitting up on high stools). Hell, he might be Hannibal Lecter.

With that said, I got out there, gave it a try, and met a cute guy who was fun to talk to. And it put a little pep in my step.

Imma give myself an A++!

Due to last week’s success, and this week’s crazy work schedule, I’m taking the week off from any organized Challenges. But I’ll keep practicing all the good stuff I’ve learned!!!

I made a risky decision a few years back to buy a red couch and a red chair. Red was my color of choice…but then it wasn’t anymore. I tried to find a way to make them into neutrals. I added a large piece of art, purchased some throw pillows and a pouf with blues and light greens and thought I was on to something. But I still wasn’t happy.

I started toying with the idea of hiring someone to come in and make some changes. My friend Andrea had a friend and decorator she worked with and I’d been to her website numerous times. I loved everything she did, even when it wasn’t “my style”. The rooms she put together were so finished and polished that I was really leaning toward hiring her, even though I’d never spoken to anyone else.

I sat on this idea for months.

I’d been complimented on my home numerous times (so I knew it wasn’t heinous) and the expense wouldn’t be insignificant.

What if I hired her and I hated everything?

The pros and cons were myriad.

But in the end, I decided to have her come over for a consultation. I bit the bullet and I’m so glad I did.

The first thing Shelly did was tell me my home was beautiful. (I blinked a few times and tried to decide if this was a mistake or not.)

She told me right away that she could tell the aesthetic I was going for: updated traditional with pops of glam.

I loved that she pulled that rabbit out of her hat within seconds.

She also told me that she wanted to play with my space plan immediately.

That surprised me, too.

My house is small and I didn’t think there were many options for reorganization.

She loved the cornices that my dad and I built and said that if we’d have ordered them, they would have been ultra-pricey. She also asked me if I was willing to give them up in lieu of a more updated look. I relented, knowing that I could always put them back.

And she told me my budget (a number that was hefty in my mind) was modest, but that she was happy to work within it to find things that would make me happy.

After about an hour, she went home and got to work.

Now that my living room is done, I can tell you that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT! Working with Shelly was a fantastic experience because she pointed me to items that I probably wouldn’t have known about or thought to use. She also make the room look BIGGER thanks to her space plan. It’s not a huge change, but it’s just what the doctor ordered.

We talked a lot about texture, shape, and pattern and why certain things were chosen over others.

She pushed me to mix metals and wood tones.

She eliminated A LOT of “stuff” and made vignette moments throughout the room. The accessories she chose were luxe and purposeful.

Moving the étagère into the corner of the room elongated the focal wall. Placing my great great grandfather’s chair there with minimal artwork and a stack of decor magazines gave it a “moment” and made it a focal point.

She also added minimal, but useful accessories to my new-er coffee table. It’s transparency adds visual space while still showing style and color.I was reluctant to move the étagère to the corner and to remove some of the tchotchkes from it that I’d collected over time. She assured me that few items would add more depth and space, so I decided to trust her and I’m so glad I did! I also LOVE the new silk draperies and the hardware from Pottery Barn. They are simple, but elegant…made of great quality.

The only thing that sucked about this process is that since I had thought long and hard about hiring Shelly, once I pulled the trigger, I wanted it done YESTERDAY. Working with someone else means agreeing to their schedule and their method of work. My expectations were flawed, therefore, but the end result was worth any bit of perceived waiting that I experienced! I’m so happy with my living room and know that the space has visually expanded.

And every day when I come home, I have that same feeling of walking into my reveal on that first night. It’s a little big bigger, a little bit better, and all mine!

They say that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

But have they actually tried Breyers Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream with Magic Shell on top?

GIT IN MAH BELLEH!

Anywhoo…I talk about food and weight loss all too often. I say I’m going to start healthy living plans and then fall off the deep end in about two days. My goal isn’t a huge weight loss, but rather a few measly pounds (10) and I haven’t  managed to make the scale budge.

I’m a lazy bastard…who loves to mow on fatty foods and booze and also loathes the gym.

I look at friends like Ruthanne or Rachel and am blown away by their dedication and willpower. They inspire me. But I’m still a lame-o and I don’t do what I know I should do.

Last week, I took a look at the calendar and saw that I had just a couple of weeks before a long weekend in wine country with friends and then a couple of weeks after that, a family vacation to Maui. I want to look good on those trips and not worry about my gut sticking out of my clothes or my chubby arms flapping in the wind.

Both of these have been known to happen.

I started Weight Watchers again last Monday. I worked HARD. I was Captain No Fun.

And I lost three pounds.

I’m happy about the weight loss and the discipline…but it sucks saying no to the food that I like to chow down on – like REALLY REALLY SUCKS.

I wish I was one of those fools who jumps out of bed every day thinking they can’t get started without a workout. I love to stuff my face, but don’t love to workout. Ergo, chubville. But I’m on the road to new habits. I’m going to try a little harder. I hope that some day I turn into one of those freaks of nature who loves to workout and eat healthy and avoid sweets and booze, but frankly, I doubt that will ever happen.

I’m going to sign off now and stomp around and pout like a little brat…

then maybe I’ll go eat some carrots.

Please forgive the no makeup pic…
also, the way I’m twisting my torso makes my FUPA look smaller than it really is.

This week, I’m updating you on Week 2 of The Dating Challenge and telling you about Week 3. I’m drinking a little bubbly from Le Grand Courtage and vlogging from a corner of my bedroom. It’s hi tech stuff over here, folks!

THE DATING CHALLENGE

Week 3: Go to Happy Hour in Corporate Office Areas

Okay, this week the plan is to hit up a couple of happy hour spots in areas with high concentrations of corporate offices and headquarters. I’ll hit up some spots near John Wayne and then meet some friends for beers at the Yard House, too. It’s all about going to the right pastures, friends. Let’s see if this works! 

A while back, I downloaded her book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), but then I got sucked into a stupid romance novel and never finished it.

Recently, some friends were talking about audiobooks and I admitted that I’d never given them a try, in spite of the fact that I commute like a mother trucker. But I had an epiphany: Mindy Kaling’s book is available on iTunes and just knew she narrated it, so I HAD TO HAVE IT.

I downloaded it to my Kindle on Tuesday night and listened to several chapters while stuck in traffic on Wednesday morning.

IT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS.

And now I want to be Mindy Kaling when I grow up, which is slightly awkward

because I’m taller, older, and just a wee bit less Indian than her.

So, I guess what I really want is be like her when I grow down.

Have you read/listened to Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? Do you listen to audiobooks, too? If so, what has been your favorite??? 

It’s funny to say it so declaratively, as I am not a natural athlete, but I have played for about six years now. I took numerous lessons the first couple of years and since then, take a tuneup lesson or two each year.

I’m not great, but I can handle my own during a scramble tournament. And let’s face it, the political and charitable events I play in are more about the social interaction and beer drinking than anything else.

And for me, there’s an additional benefit:

CUTE NEW OUTFITS.

Yep, I’m totally that girl in the ruffly skirt and hot pink golf bag. I rarely show up in the same thing; my combinations are myriad. I’m not often a fashionista, but you’d better believe I am on the golf course.

The skort above is one of my newest purchases…the skirt comes off and the shorts underneath can be worn on their own. Flippin’ love!

So, in summary, I don’t golf well,

but I look damn good.

I’ve also taken up tennis in the last couple of years.

When I began I looked like a total spastic, but now work VERY HARD to not send balls flying over the fence.

“Pop fly into right!”

I am diligent about taking lessons and trying to learn the game properly and without bad habits. My instructor keeps me running around like a crazy monkey and believes that all my effort is providing fruit. I see improvement, but again, I’m really not great at it.

But, as with golf…I look like a freaking tennis rockstar.

Now, I’m no Maria Sharapova, but I do look like a stylish pro.

I’m improving and working hard, but somedays, I wish I could put on my frilly skirt and sunnies and just go have a drink on the patio at the club.

I’m totally a country club wife in training and as silly as that sounds, I don’t have a problem with that at all.

VIVA LA RUFFLY SKIRT AND THE CUTE NEW OUTFITS!