The Blog o' Sands

2008-04-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

Greetings all!

So sorry for the delay since my last post...much has happened that I'm sure I will talk about in the future...

However, for now, many of you have repeatedly asked that I post some more pictures...so I've put some below for you to peruse. All of these pics came from a shoot that I did a couple of weeks ago with some friends of ours who just adopted a little girl.

I've heard it said that marriage was designed to be a rembrant painting of God's relationship with us...I think adoption might be a Monet...she is a beautiful little girl!

(if you are getting this via email and can't see the pictures, you'll have to go to the actual website at http://chrissands.blogspot.com/)

The first picture is of Daddy and his new little girl...this was one of the very last images that I captured before I walked out the door and it turned out to be one of the best...

Now for the rest...these are just a sampling of the great images captured...it was an awesome shoot!

Freakin' Mammon...

2008-04-03T06:59:00.001-07:00

"One can't, at once, promote two reputations. Promote God's and forget yours. Or promote yours and forget God's. We must choose."

That's a quote from Max Lucado, an author that I have cast disparagement on in the past but am now growing to like more and more. It goes directly to the heart of one of the things God has been dealing with me about lately...especially in the past couple of weeks.

In the passage in Matthew 6 that I talked about last week, verse 24 says,

"No one can serve two masters, either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money (mammon)."

I did a little bit of study on Mammon, the word translated money in the NIV (once again, bible.org!). This is one of those words that doesn't translate all that well into english...I've seen it described as "ill gotten gains" or "the passionate pursuit of wealth" etc. I think one of the best definitions that I've seen is from Bill Hull who states,

"Mammon is the entire superstructure of pride, the hubris of man."

And then I've got Lucado who substitutes reputation here...I'll tell you what this passage is saying to me:

Chris, you cannot serve two masters, you weren't designed that way. You can't serve both Me and your own pride, your own selfish ambition...you can't serve both Me and your grand plans for success. If you try to, you will end up as you have before...talking highly of me and making a mockery of me with your life. You'll end up talking about faith in me and despising that faith through your worry and anxiety and over-work. You'll end up admiring those who serve others while emulating those that only serve themselves.

This week I've been hit hard with these truths. In the past months, I believe that God has given me a vision for what it is that he has for me to do, however the method that he has provided to get there is one that requires trust in him and the death of much of my pride.

I did and interview this week with a man who was much older than I (early sixties probably)...it was brutal to say the least. Some exerpts from my conversation with this man,

"so it really sucks to be so downwardly mobile doesn't it?"
"I would say that life really hasn't worked out in the way that you wanted it to, has it?"
"So you came out of college full of promise, and then real life hit you over the head and your promise didn't pan out...I'm sure that makes you angry..."

That kind of conversation went on for almost an hour...I walked away completely discouraged and distraught, feeling like an utter failure. I had been on the path to wealth, on the path to great things, on the path to prestige and power...and then I wandered off of it. I had failed...

And this reaction to that conversation made me realize that I have failed...I think I've failed to realize how owned I am by a culture that is completely counter to the values that Christ espoused when he walked here. I think I've failed to realize how true Christ's statement about two masters really is. I think I've failed to understand that, in many instances, my pursuit of mammon has precluded my pursuit of Christ. I have failed to make sure that my primary goal is the emulation of Christ in all things.

After a few days of pain and soul searching, I think I have some answers for that guy...Christ was downwardly mobile...in fact he valued those who could surrender themselves to downward mobility. No, life hasn't worked out as I planned, but if it would have I would be missing out on the adventure God has sent me on. And, no, I'm not angry about my "promise" not panning out because it is not my promise that I want to build my life on...it's His promise. Your right, sir, my strength isn't what I thought it was...but I know that his strength is made perfect in my weakness.

Man, I wish that I could come up with that stuff in the moment...then everybody would be so impressed with me....jeez, that mammon is a pain in the butt ain't it!?

Two Edged Sword

2008-03-26T08:16:00.000-07:00

Greetings once again, I hope this posting finds you all well.

In my last post I talked a little bit about having gotten alone for a couple of days and read all four gospels in succession and also said that I wanted to incorporate some of the stuff that I learned into my future submissions....well, here's number one...

Matthew 6:19-34

So, up until the very end of the 5th chapter, Matthew's accounting of the story has Christ either been being born or tempted in the wilderness. After the temptation he goes out to the people and begins to meet their felt needs (mainly by healing them), and once he has kind of earned a hearing by healing folks and has gathered a significant crowd he starts talking....and says some fairly devastating stuff.

6:19-34 is part of this long speech that Christ gives on the mountainside...he's talked about all kinds of stuff and just before this is talking about prayer and fasting. Then, in my opinion, he makes a hard break from verse 18 to verse 19 and begins talking about a separate subject...namely money or provision...which he relates directly to our faith.

I think that it is hard to overestimate how counter to our present culture these statements of Christ really are. I mean, diametrically opposed comes to mind...our society is so very focused on things Christ speaks against. The problem for me with many of the harder teachings of Christ is that I've read the things since childhood and my mind glosses them over. In many cases I read over earth shattering truths like I sing over Mary Had a Little Lamb.

The danger with reading scandalous things over and over again is that we get used to them and they cease being scandalous.

For this first posting on this passage, I wanted to give you a handy tool for opening ourselves up to sharpness of the words of Christ. I did this too and it helped a ton...so I invite you to read this passage while:

1. praying for new eyes
2. holding two different color highlighters or pens

Every time Christ tells you to do something highlight it in color number one.
Every time Christ asks you a question, highlight it in color number two.

Now write down all of the commands and all of the questions. Jesus starts with a command in this passage, so you start with the commands as well. (I had to do some further study to make sure that I actually understood the command Christ was giving...check out www.bible.org for study aides).

For each command ask yourself the following questions:

1. Am I following this command in my life right now?
(if you answer yes to this then you don't have to ask the rest of the questions.......you're also a big fat liar...just kidding...not really you liar.)

2. If I began actually following this command in my life right now immediately, how big of a change would it be?

3. Is it possible for me to follow this command?

For the questions you wrote down, you'll find that the answers are pretty obvious, especially in light of the narrative before and after them. "well of course I'm more important than a sparrow, Jesus...duh.." or "well I guess if you're going to bring lillies into the conversation it doesn't make sense for me to worry about my clothes..." I think Christ often asks questions that are easy to answer with our mouths and hard to answer with our lives.

So now, write down your answer to each of the questions that Christ asks and then ask the following questions of yourself:

1. How closely do the answer that I just wrote down and the life I live match?

(if they don't match)

2. If the answer and my life were to match, how big of a change would it be?
3. Why is it that what I know to be true does not inform how I live my life? What does my life say about where my faith really lies?

As I said earlier, I'm going to talk a little more later about this passage, but this exercise helped me in really hearing what it was that Christ was saying to me.

So what are the tough commands for you? For me, it was "do not worry." Which is, in essence, the only command he gives here. He gives it four different times in two different ways, just to make sure that I get it. For those of you who know me well, you know that adding the words "do not" in front of "worry" just doesn't compute in my brain...

What about His questions? I think those are all hard and unfortunately the easy answers aren't easy to flesh out for me...

You know I think that we have been wired by our culture to worry and hoard and run after wealth above all other things. I think I've been wired to be fearful, and I think fear leads to greed and many other things. Above all I've been wired to trust in myself, my job, my cars, my house, my IRA, my mutual funds....anything but my God. I've seen through my reading that Christ wants nothing less than a complete rewire...

Faith

2008-03-19T16:03:00.000-07:00

Greetings all, hope this finds you well...

Last week I spent a couple of days at a friend's ranch in Brenham. I wanted to take some time and get quiet and alone with God...wanted to hear what it was that he had to say to me. I was actually hoping he was going to drop a job in my lap but that didn't happen...I think some better stuff did.

My goal during the two days was to read completely through the gospels...no study aides, no in-depth word study, just to read them from beginning to end. (something that I have, regretfully, never done before) I came away with several insights that I hope to explore in future posts, but the first one to hit me was Christ's level of impatience with the lack of faith in those around him.

I mean, this was a BIG deal with Jesus...he talks about faith (and our lack of it) a LOT. I have often wondered why it is that God is so focused upon us having faith in Him. I mean, why is it that the faith thing is such a huge deal? I'm sure there are big theological reasons why and I'm sure people smarter than me have wrestled with the same question...but here's the first part of the answer I feel that I received...

I think true faith in God allows us to be courageous enough to live with a singular purpose.

Christ says, "I tell you, if you have the faith the size of a mustard seed you will be able to say to this mountain, 'be moved' and it will happen." So often, when I read this verse I think about some big, mystical, "out there" kind of faith; some grand thing that monks have or that the pope knows about. And yet, the faith that I hear Jesus speaking about is pretty simple...trust that God is going to take care of you.

We are told by Christ repeatedly that we should not concern ourselves with the worries of this life, with what we should eat or drink, what we will wear for clothing and we are also repeatedly told to work for the kingdom. In John, Christ tells us to first seek the kingdom of heaven and that all other things will be added unto us...

Seeking the kingdom and trusting that everything else is going to work out takes faith...more than I have at the moment. Perhaps Christ was saying that the mountain moving power of faith was the power of a life completely devoted to the calling it has received, not worried about the things of this world.

I wonder how many great things have not been done for the kingdom because of our inability to trust God to take care of the details? How many ministries have not been started because I wouldn't leave my comfortable setting and trust God to take care of my family as I am doing his work? How many times have I gone to a job each day that has nothing to do with what I am created by God to do, simply because I don't trust him enough to even try to do that thing that he has created me for?

I think Jesus was so hard on our lack of faith because our lack of faith is so hard on our ability to live lives that are full...lives that are faith filled adventures...lives that make huge marks in time.

My step-grandfather died this week at the age of 86. During his lifetime, he flew 50-some missions in a bomber in WWII and served in Korea. He was shot down twice over enemy territory and received two purple hearts as well as a slew of other awards that we are in the process of figuring out. He was a member of the North American Mission Board and had preached on three continents and a dozen or so different countries, served dozens of churches, and was married to the same woman for 65 years.

At his funeral, I heard old men talk about him being their hero...I heard them talk about Paul saying that we must "die daily" and how this man was a fine example of what that means. And these men weren't saying these things just from the stage, or to the family, I overheard them saying these things among one another...

When I die, I want to have made that kind of mark...I believe that Jesus wants me to make that kind of mark as well...that's why he calls me to His kind of faith. The kind of faith that gives me the courage to have a singular purpose...to live passionately in pursuit of his glory.

The Resume

2008-03-11T18:55:00.000-07:00

Greetings to all, and thanks for reading once again...I know that there have been some issues with the invite I sent out to get my blog posts via Google Groups and I apologize. If you are reading this via email, then you are indeed a part of the "Group." If you are reading this off of the blog site then look to the right and there is a link to click on so that you can sign up....hope that works...

So, I'm looking for a job...most of you know this already...and tomorrow (Wednesday, 3/12) is my one month unemployment anniversary. In that month, I have written and re-written more resumes for myself than I could have ever imagined would be necessary. I've retained the assistance of some recruiters and "resume coaches" who basically rewrite the darn thing for every job that I apply for.

"Oh look, this company wants more contract negotiation experience so we need to talk about your roles in contracts...this one wants a real "people leader" so let's emphasize your successes with employee turn around...this one is really concerned with certifications and awards, so let's really focus on that..." And on and on it goes.

The temptation in all of this is to say something about yourself that isn't true. It's a kind of balancing act...I want to communicate what I have done in the best light possible and I want to make sure that potential employers know what it is that I have done well. In trying to impress them, it becomes pretty tempting to stretch the truth a bit...forget stretch, substitute "fabricate claims ex-nihilo."

That temptation towards untruthfulness comes, in my opinion, from the fact that handing someone a resume is probably the most uncomfortable thing in the world. You are handing out the most positive spin on who you are that you can possibly come up with for them to criticise; and, nine times out of ten, whoever gets it will take a 10 second look and dismiss your resume from contention.

It's a gut wrenching process, and often times infuriating. "What do you mean you don't think I have enough experience!?...I wonder what it was that turned them off?...I wonder if I look like I'm too full of myself?...I wonder if I didn't sell myself well enough..." And the ultimate in painful questions, "am I really not good enough?"

Many times, the answer to that most painful question, at least in the eyes of whoever is making the decision at that point, is, "yes, you're really not good enough."

The really tough part is that the dude deciding if I'm going to get an interview is just that...some dude. No moral authority...not high and mighty...not an elected judge of character...some regular guy who makes bad decisions on a daily basis just like the rest of us.

And I thank God for it...for the gut wrenchingness of it all. I thank God that when I hand my resume, my name, my reputation off to those people, that the vast majority of them will look at it and find nothing of worth, nothing of value to them.

I thank God because, as I said before, they're all just people. I thank God because I don't have to hand my resume to Him. I don't have to make up a document, a list, with my best attributes all shined up and on display hoping that they are good enough to get me in with the Big Man. I don't have to "de-emphasize" the things that aren't great and sell the things that are. I don't have to worry about him looking and finding nothing of value.

My resume for my Father has two lines:

1978 - 1992 - Object of Wrath.

1992 - Present - Son of God, Bought at A High Price, Joint Heir With Christ.

I'm handing that in at my interview tomorrow just to see what happens...well...first I'll see what kind of benefits they're offering...

For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:8-10

Contact me: cjnbsands@gmail.com

Blog Address; http://chrissands@blogspot.com

My Peace I Leave You

2008-03-06T20:10:00.000-08:00

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you; I do not give it to you as the world does. Do not let your hearts be distressed or lacking in courage.”
John 14:27

“I’m leaving you a gift…a gift of peace…my peace is what I’m leaving you”

Richard Foster calls that an “astounding” statement and I would have to agree: the God of the universe has come to earth in human form and as he leaves he is leaving me the ability to have the same peace that HE has.

That is tough for me to understand. I think in order to even begin to get a grip on what Christ leaving me his peace means, I need to look at what peace looks like on Him…how does Christ practice peace? What does HIS peace look like?

The first thing that really hits me in the face is the intimacy of his relationship with God the Father. I think Christ’s peace feeds directly out of that relationship. I mean, what is it that makes me anxious? What is it that takes the peace that Christ died to give me? Is it not my proclivity to listen to and believe voices other than His?

I never see Christ waffling about what to do next. I never see Christ worry about his physical or social state (how nice his robe is, what shop his sandals came from, what private school his disciples are going to, etc…). I very rarely (once, maybe in Gethsemane?) see Christ’s peace removed from him because he is so overwhelmed with the tasks set before him.

He sits with the Father (on several occasions we see him removing himself to pray) and he sits there until he knows what to do. Then he does it. He’s never anxious because he firmly believes what he preaches. “The father clothes the grass, I am more important to him than the grass and he will take care of my needs…”

Because of his relationship with the Father, he knows exactly what he is to do and knows who it is that will make him able, then he does it, and knows that God will take care of the rest…

Take a look at Luke 4:42-43…this is a great example of what I’m talking about. So Jesus is doing his thing, big time…healing folks, casting out demons, the whole deal. He’s developed a pretty big following, people are everywhere; and these people aren’t wanting to just hang out…they have real and significant needs that he is able to meet. And all of a sudden he disappears…check it out:
Early the next morning, Jesus went out into the wilderness. The crowds look everywhere for him, and when they finally found him, they begged him not to leave them. But he replied, “I must preach the Good News of the Kingdom of God in other places too, because that is why I was sent.”

He’s out in the wilderness, I think talking to the Father. I think he’s been talking to the Father because when the crowds find him he’s doing something completely outlandish in their view…he’s leaving town.

Soak that in for a second…Christ has become a celebrity. He’ selling out the Capernaum stadium, he’s got crowds that won’t leave him alone. This guy could set up camp and start a mega church…

And what does he say?

“I gotta go to other places too…that’s why I was sent.”

And he walks away and goes and saves the world.

When was the last time that I went away to the “wilderness” and sat until I knew where to go and what to do next?

When is the last time that I was so intimately acquainted with the voice of God that I wouldn’t dismiss the outlandish requests of God as something else?

When is the last time that I trusted my savior enough to partake of his peace?

Snow in March...in Texas

2008-03-04T14:21:00.001-08:00

So, last night it snowed...in March...in Texas. And not in one of those halfway to Canada but still in Texas towns like Amarillo, either. I mean in Dallas, you know, below Oklahoma man.

(Which reminds me of a joke about Texas not falling into the ocean...ask me about it sometime).

So in order to celebrate this auspicious and rare occasion, I ran outside this morning and took a picture of the weird white stuff on the ground. And then I started thinking about the grass that had just started growing in my yard this week.

I mean, how hacked off would you be? I started imagining the grass' quiet time last night...probably went something like,

"GOD...Seriously though...SNOW!? I mean I just get my photosynthesis up and going, I've spent the last six months paying my dues, freezing my butt off and finally start to get things lined up to grow...you know, get up there with the big boys and you have to send me SNOW. How am I supposed to take care of the little chutes down there when you're trying to kill me!? I mean, I'm not ungrateful or anything, the snow is pretty and all, but why let me get this close to success and then pull the freaking plug!?"

Then I started thinking about how dumb the grass would have felt when he woke up to this morning. Not a cloud in the sky, not a breath of wind, one of the most beautiful spring-like days I've ever seen.

I'm kinda grassy....ok, a lot grassy.

Trouble comes down and I immediately think the worst. It's never going to end, all that I've worked for is going down the tubes, my kids are going to starve, my wife's going to get pregnant again and I'm going to have to pay cash for another baby, etc. etc...When, in reality, it's just a little snow.

Not sure why it's falling...maybe so your kids and friends can see how you handle it? Maybe you're modeling the behavior that your children are going to exhibit later on down the line? Maybe your neighbor across the street who thinks Christianity is a bunch of BS is watching to see if he's right? Maybe it's just because God likes snow...

No matter what the reason, no matter if I ever get to know or not, my prayer is that my kids and my wife see me react like David in Psalm 91:

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the almighty.

This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I am trusting him

He will shield you with his wings, He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

The Dancing Preacher

2008-03-02T20:27:00.000-08:00

This Sunday was the third Sunday of my unemployment journey. I’ve been harassed by worry and anxiety, impatience and fear. I’ve also been somewhat short tempered at times…a case in point happened that morning.

I woke up fairly early and remembered that I needed to put all of my cycling paraphernalia away (I had been on a long ride the day before) and started gathering it all up. I found everything except my heart rate monitor, which was completely lost. I tore my truck apart, the couches, my bedroom, my truck again and still no monitor.

For those of you who don’t know me, I HATE losing things. Losing things is, at best, a pet peeve and at worst a maniacal obsession…I simply cannot stand it. So, therefore, I was rude to my kids and snapped at my wife, stomped around the house like an idiot and left late for church.

Now, I think it goes without saying that the loss of my heart rate monitor would not have hit me as hard if I had not already lost a job, my income, my health insurance, and some of my considerable pride. I walked out of the house and into the church with a pretty big chip on my shoulder. I sat down in worship, the music started playing and I didn’t sing a word…I was mad that I lost my heart monitor, mad that I didn’t have a job, mad that my friends were going to ask about my job search and I was going to have to say, “nope, nothing yet!”

Then I turned my head.

There’s the preacher, standing in front of his seat up front and he’s dancing. He was singing about the greatness of God, nodding his head, swaying back and forth with this little bounce, hands high in the air. Not an outlandish, more-for-my-benefit-than-anything-else dance, but this small, sincere, joyful movement that just screamed at me.

My pastor’s wife is in the midst of a multi-year battle with cancer that keeps going away and then coming back with a vengeance. He had just spent all night with a family whose high school daughter had died, I’m sure answering all the horrible and unanswerable questions that come with that kind of tragedy. He is a man that is consistently confronted with mankind’s worst fears…and there he goes dancing.

I was dumbstruck and so very proud of him…and then I realized that every angel in heaven was probably doing back flips as God the Father said, “THAT’S my boy!” The world is throwing everything it has at this man and his reaction is “I know whom I have believed and I am convinced that he is able…and I think I’ll dance about Him a while.”

I taught this Sunday on the fruits of the spirit…you know, love, joy, peace, patience, etc. etc. And one of the things that we talked about in the class was that the fruits couldn’t really be “willed to grow” by us. Sure, we can act like we have patience or joy or love or self control, but in reality, at least for me, I’m just acting. True growth of the fruits of the spirit takes a supernatural act in our lives…the fruits are the outgrowth of the spirit’s work in us through our practice of the disciplines (See Celebration of Discipline by Foster). The preacher’s desire and ability to dance in front of God after all that has happened to him does not grow out of his “super-spirituality” but out of time spent with The Creator…out of a relationship built over hours and days and years.

I said earlier that the preacher’s dance screamed at me. It didn’t scream “wow, Chris, you really suck” nor did it scream, “you really need to get your act together you heathen.” What is screamed was,

“he’s dancing for someone that he really trusts.”

The preacher knows that he knows that he knows that his God is Great and that his God is Good and that his God loves and that his God will provide. So convinced, in fact, that his natural reaction is…dancing.

From Psalm 27

The Lord is my light and my salvation, why should I be afraid?
The Lord protects me from danger, why should I tremble?
The one thing I ask of the Lord, the thing I seek most is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his temple.
For he will conceal me there when troubles come
He will hide me in his sanctuary
He will place me out of reach on a high rock
Then I will hold my head high, above my enemies who surround me.
At his tabernacle I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
Singing and praising the Lord with music. (and some dancing!)

Listen to my pleading Lord,
Be merciful and answer me!

My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord I am coming.”

Wait patiently for the Lord
Be brave and courageous
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.