Now this is no reflection on Taco Bell because tacos, burritos, and nachos are fantastic and whatever. But why is it that we always assume that white guys rapping somehow equates to funny? I mean the top selling rapper of the past decade is a white guy. But I’m supposed to bwahaha my way to speedy Mexican food because a couple white guys dressed in supposedly out of character clothing and put together an adequate-yet-not-mind-blowing couple of rhymes about their affinity for Taco Bell? I don’t get it.

If I were Taco Bell, here’s what I’d do: I’d get the rights to Speedy Gonzales, then have him do a series of commercials in which he sits in his study with a pipe and discusses the virtue of Taco Bell in perfectly spoken, eloquent English. Then he finds out that tacos are cheap or whatever and he completely loses this distinguished demeanor and regresses to the poor Mexican stereotype version of the character because he’s so excited over the tremendous value. AND why wouldn’t Warner Bros do it since it’d basically revitalize one of their products and make a lucrative revenue stream for it. Who wouldn’t go for this? Uh, other than Mexicans. Sorry guys but all of your societal progressions have to be sacrificed so WE CAN SELL SOME FUCKING TACOS! HELL YEAH!

A woman raking her yard this morning was attacked by a man who tried to rape her, prompting her to yell at him that she was an octogenarian, police said.

“I’m 80 years old, what’s wrong with you!” police said the woman yelled.

The suspect pushed the woman to the ground, removed her shorts and tried to have sex with her, said police spokesman Jimmie Flynt.

[via]

There’s always a certain irony to me when schools have these people who pretty much didn’t do things how you’re “supposed to” yet became immensely successful speaking to a bunch of student who just paid like $160,000 to do this college thing and, quite possible, end up failing. I went to a friend’s graduation and the former CEO of Vitamin Water was there to receive some honorary medal or some shit. He went to this (not-so-prestigious) college for 2 years to get an Associate’s degree in Sports Administration with hopes of becoming the basketball coach at the school and President of the United States. Yes, an adult male who doesn’t have Down’s had these dreams. Yet he somehow ended up creating Vitamin Water and making billions when it sold to Coca Cola. The school also referred to Vitamin Water as “the leading beverage in the enhanced water category.” This was an ACTUAL SPEECH at a COLLEGE GRADUATION that kids paid tens of thousands to receive. What a masterful way to make someone regret a life of debt in one swoop. In your face, believers in higher learning!

funnyinteresting
-Oh Barbie, when did you get so hood?
-Some fantastic pick-up lines for the white trash
-What to do when a girl thinks sex with you is too good
-15 hilarious “Google suggests” screenshots (you’ll know what I mean when you see it)
-The 28 weirdest TV shows that were stupidly turned into comic books
-A surprisingly cool gallery of vintage computers
-10 of the best Wii parody videos
-Oh this poor poor girl (funny pic)
-5 landmarks in the evolution of cartoon porn
-Who said romance is dead? (funny pic)
-Jonas Brothers, look into your future

girls
-Hot amateur girl with big boobs in a bikini loves The Shocker
-Zaira Nara: Fantastic sideboobs
-More hacked Miley Cyrus photos than you can shake a stick at. Not your stick though, since she’s underaged. Wink
-Former University of Arizona volleyball player + bikini = win
-This is quite the amateur ass in booty shorts
-Hayden Panettiere’s dress is quite see-through
-No effort to keep these boobs in, eh? (NSFWish)
-Awwww, who’s a sleepy hot blonde chick? (NSFWish)

So my question is…she looks healthy, no problems walking at all. So did she have the crutch lying around? Or did she steal it from a crippled person in her car? Either way, this woman has issues that need to be addressed. Though if she were to beat a car she was angry at with her crippled friend as the weapon, I think that’s creativity you’d have to respect. Plus what were those legs good for anyway? Just a pristine shoe there, dangling off of a useless limp noodle. Take one for the team, Crippy.

Did you know that vampires used to actually exist? It’s true, I saw it on the History Channel. But then one day, they went to a rock concert and got hungry. They loved the band, but they had to eat, you know? I’m not sure if it was bad luck or destiny, but feeding on Freddie Mercury wasn’t the best idea.

Do you realize how completely fucked up you have to be for Fox News to be like, “Whoaaaaaa there tiger, let’s slow down”? You pretty much have to do the verbal equivalent of heart-punching a baby. Even then, you could probably say the baby supported the stimulus bill and they’d understand.

Anyway, I can’t say I agree with his sentiments though. The beauty of America is in its diversity and willingness to say, do what you please. Unless you’re a man who wants to marry your partner of 25 years and you love each other and are more than equipped to spend the rest of your lives together contributing to society. Then, fuck you, weirdo! How dare you be so alarmingly unfreakish!

[via]