The Blogger Me

24 by 7

2012-02-27T07:49:00.000-08:00

"Once a teacher, always a teacher. " - Mr. Edmer Salagubang

"Work is a 24/7 commitment." - Mr. Manuel Toledo

"Never say I CANNOT to a boss, instead say, I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO." - Ms. Grace San Miguel

... and more!

Well I guess I had too many words of wisdom regarding work so I ended up so mixed up, so workaholic like this.

My body is telling me I'm working much but my head is telling it's not enough.

Sometimes I think my pregnancy is really slowing me down.

Sometimes I think my pregnancy is an opportunity for me to take rest.

I feel tired...

I feel emotional...

Maybe this is what we call the "Pregnant brain" in me...

Or maybe this is what I really feel....

Should I let students stay at home for an over night thesis break loose?

Or should I just let my body lay in bed and rest?

Am I working too hard for the baby?

Or am I just being lazy?

What does it take for me to become a teacher?

I need a break.

Baby In My Oven

2012-02-06T18:38:00.000-08:00

Yup! You read it soooo right. I'm going 2 months preggers and so into the life of being a mother.

My trimester has been very light. No vomiting nor dizziness, and I thank God for giving me such a silent child in my tummy. He/she has not given me any pregnancy problems and so I'm still able to provide to my daily busy schedule.

I've been taking my prenatal vitamins and I look forward for a healthy baby inside my tummy after 2 weeks.

Honestly, the idea of being a mother has not really sunk in my mind now, but as I realize life everyday with a baby inside of me, I'm beginning to tell myself that I now live not just for myself anymore.

And that what makes life even more wonderful. :)

2012 Needs and Wants List

2012-01-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

New life, new hope, new beginning, new us.

Every January, people have this usual war with themselves about the things that they want to have for a year.

So what do I want to achieve this year?

1.) Save money as much as I can!!! Since all my life, I've been spending for my family.

2.) Get over my thesis presentation

3.) Start programming ADA

4.) Have a baby

New year resolution?

...Um, treat myself better? and make extra effort to doll up. :)

There's so much that I want to achieve. So much that I want to do. I wonder if having a baby will win over the 3 other priorities. Maybe having a baby will trash my other priorities. What will happen to us? And if we will not have a baby this year, will it be easy for us to have a it next year?

I'm really in doubt if I can do all of this for a year. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for miracles to continue dropping from the heavens because I need that.

Overall, I want to make my life better! I don't want to work my butt every Monday to Sunday straight for the rest of my life! I want 2013 to be a year of rest for me and Joey. I want to have a less stressful life. I want more time to myself and Joey.

I want to enjoy life!

But I know that I will not achieve that if I will not finish the battle I've started. I should triumph over that MIT!!!! Grrrr!!!

So I better grab myself and hope for everyone to understand my schedule.

I thank God for a very supportive family, a very loving husband and understanding students.

What I need is TIME!!!!

Wish me luck!

My Homecoming King

2011-10-24T19:48:00.000-07:00

It's been a week when I held him close in my arms.
A week since I kissed his lips.
A week since I felt the warmth of his love.
A week since I've been a wife to him.

And every moment and second of it, I treasure.

It's been a week when I got to smell his perfume.
A week of smiles and a week of endless stares.
A week since I got a chance to see his smile just right next to me.
Seven days of love and seven days of gladness.

We are a family and we are one.
Our hearts locked in eternal love
We are newly weds, forever indeed.
And he is my homecoming king.

Field of Innocence

2011-09-23T04:53:00.000-07:00

While I was eating dinner, I came across the remote control and turned on the television. It was around 10pm and the late night tv show made me realize that there are many things happening now that I'm not really much aware.

I switched the channel to watch XXX, where the episode is about kids being used by drug syndicates to sell drugs. There's even a video of a young child as early as 14 years old being taught by his own mother's friends to use marijuana!

I swayed my head to the right as the kid innocently followed the instructions of those men telling him to inhale the drug.

I can't look at the tv. My eyes were shut. I can't believe that these things are happening in real life.

I blame the mother since she's crazy enough to let her child to it! What a good for nothing bastard!

The picture of my mother came into my mind. She'll never let that thing happen to us!

Why can't all mothers be like that?

Why do they let their child live a miserable life?

What about their innocence?

At a very young age, they are exposed to poverty, garbage, drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex and other unthinkable things!

After that episode, I changed.

Every child is a joy to the Lord. Their innocence reminds us of how it is to believe in everything and know nothing. It might sound cliché but it is very true that they are our future. If most children will grow up like gangsters, I can’t imagine that one day I’ll be leaving this world in their hands.

I can’t just blame the society. I can’t just point my finger to the government and I can’t drop names. Instead, I believe that we can make a change. Let us love every child and let them feel that they are loved. Let’s provide a better future for them by protecting them and by being a role model. Let them know God and teach them the way of life with him.

Let them live a life like a child. For a child.

The Road So Far...

2011-09-18T08:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know where to start here...
Well, um.. busy as usual..
So busy to even update my blog.
But to sum it up:

Masteral:

I've finished chapter 1 2 and 3 of my thesis documentation and now, I'm hopefully waiting for my adviser's approval for thesis defense.
DBMS project presentation on the way.

Work:

Managed to survive the pressure of our university week.
Was able to encode the Midterm Grade
Still managing students for their undergraduate thesis.
Preparing class lectures
Sunday classes are still there

October 10 - schedule for final examination and the semester ends!
Finally, VACATION is within my grasp!
I can have that joystick again and a decent sleep will not be just a lucky strike.
Come to look at it...that's also 18 more days before our 1st year anniversary!

Geez...there's a change of mood here...(wait...wait)

Mary Grace Barbecho, married for a year.
That's quite a statement....

Day One

2011-07-11T08:34:00.000-07:00

Joey and I had a great conversation last night and we came to realize that our relationship is really different from the other couples around. We are unique and we want to stay this way. I love him so much.

More than meets the eye!

2011-07-05T09:44:00.000-07:00

DARK OF THE MOON

Wow! Long time, no blog. I miss the sound of my keyboard rushing with my fingers while I type the words that I want to share. I'm so darn busy!

Luckily, I still managed to watch Transformers: The Dark of the Moon with friends and I was really blown away by the whole movie. Another thing that also excites me while waiting in the line is that I have two of my students who haven't watched Transformers 1 and 2 yet so I had the honor of introducing the whole story to them.

Geez, those kids are so workaholic, they need a break.

And like me, they're now crazy about it too.

I loved the way the story was aligned to the American history as if it was really true. The movie effects and sound quality are insanely good and for me, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is a better actress than Fox.

So for the verdict, I might say like my sister, its not the best installation of the Transformers movie. Script wise, I love Transformers 2. There are also some idle scenes, less script for Bee and Optimus and I really don't like the fuel thing as blood for the robots.

But still, Michael Bay really did a great job.

Hail to Steven Spielberg too!

The Transformers! More than meets the eye!
Autobots wage their battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons!
The Transformers! Robots in disguise!
The Transformers! More than meets the eye!
The Transformers!

:)

Movie Review: Mr. Popper's Penguins

2011-06-25T10:03:00.000-07:00

Mr. Popper's Penguins by Jim Carrey.

Facts about penguins:

1.) Certain breeds will spend their whole lives looking for their one mate and once they find them they will never stray even after their mate dies they will spend the rest of their life alone... isn't that sad but sweet.

2.) Penguins search for a special stone all their life and will only give it to their mate.
3.) Penguins have no natural fear of humans.

Penguins are a good model of example of TRUE, HONEST and FAITHFUL LOVE. How ironic that those animals are able to do it but humans can't. This family movie moved me by heart while watching Mr. Popper (Jim Carrey) wave his career aside to take care of those penguins like his own.

Another thing that touched me is how he made his wife and family whole again through the penguins. It is a good family movie, not as funny and catchy as Ace Ventura and the Truman Show, but sure is a nice movie to watch for.

New Follower!

2011-06-25T05:07:00.000-07:00

Ordinary day.

Checked my blog and tada! 3 followers on my dashboard! I hurriedly checked who's the new guy (hoping someone I don't know) but surprisingly, it's my student Jamaica.

I didn't know that she has a blog too.

I guess, I have more reasons to write now.

Thanks Jam. :)

Confrontation

2011-06-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Why fear confrontation?
Why pretend?
Why avoid solutions?
Why do we seal our lips to speak?

It's a puzzle for me and I wonder.
Why people choose to be silent instead of talking things out.
Why not ask, "Is there any wrong?"
Does humanity lost the sense of being "concern"?

Why fear of hearing what other people think of you?
Are we afraid of being hurt or accept criticism?
Then what will happen to "improvement"?
Will there be an opportunity to "change"?

My shout is heard but I doubt if they understand.
Silence is what I get and if not, a topic far from what I require.
I fear of being one with the people who do not dare to ask.
Am I the last one to say, "what's going on?"

A June Beginning

2011-06-08T02:27:00.000-07:00

June 13 and the battle is on! A new semester awaits and for sure, I'll have to bid goodbye to my late vacation routines and take my battle suit again for another 6 months.

I really hope I'll pass Project Planning. I can't believe that I'm actually taking one of the worst subjects in our MIT curriculum this fast! I'm worried because I do not know if I can make (due to my draining schedule) it and I fear of failing, but I have faith in everything so... the heck! :)

My husband is having a difficult time in Thailand but I'm glad he's pulling himself up. Like me, he doesn't quit easily and by that, I always look up to his strength and will power to go on.

My cousin (the dentist) is now engaged to his long time girlfriend and I'm excited to see them do their wedding vows at church since I didn't have the chance. I wish them lots of love! I know, they'll make a good family.

Hybernate Mode in Alabang

2011-05-26T08:25:00.000-07:00

At last! My Nursing Informatics is over and I now have my Monday to Friday free days all for myself to savor! I started off by taking my backpack to Alabang to congratulate my cousin who not just passed the CPA Board exam, but also bagged the Top 11 spot! Isn't that cool?

I've been far from games for a while since that I've been killing myself for books and classes so It's a juicy experience for me to hold on to that joystick again. It's such a joy to bond with my cousins! Since we grow up together, we were more like brothers and sisters.

I love them so much!

You're the Bank!

2011-05-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

A wife should be a woman of love and understanding. A person capable of listening and giving comfort to the people around her. My husband Joey is a man of few words and sensitivity. Maybe most of the time I misunderstood his ways but I know that he is one of the purest person in the world.

He sacrificed his education, mainly his whole life to support his family. All his life, he's been paying debts he never own. They are the main reason why he left for Thailand but unfortunately, all his hard work is still not enough.

He was asked for too much! Too much than he can provide. Too much that he can generate. Too much that he can afford. If only I could help, if only I could give them the money that they need to let Joey go and rest, I'll give them whatever they ask.

My family was able to raise me comfortably. It's my mother who never gave up on giving the best that we deserve and so between Joey and I, I really feel pity on his situation. He deserves everything good and comfortable. He deserves to be acknowledged and treated like a king.

I just can't help but to feel guilty. I was in Boracay last week and he's there working his butt 12 hours straight. As a wife, all I can do is to support and give him words of strength that will hopefully help him get through the day. For the first time, I learned how to keep myself silent while he tell his story to me. After that, I seriously committed myself to something that I should really do.

I should not ask for anything from Joey as much as I can.

While we don't have a baby yet, we should focus on our priority. I want him to focus on his obligation to his family while I have to finish my masters so I will be of help to him after graduation. I have to save money for our house and hopefully continue aiming for a doctorate degree. I must do whatever it takes to make him happy. We should work hand in hand if we want to end this debt.

We don't have much of a family savings yet but I hope that this school year will give us a better chance of opportunity to save as much as we can for the month of December, our deadline.

A wife should be a woman of love and understanding. This is a person that I want to be for him and this I will become.

Eureka!

2011-04-26T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's one big discovery for me and yes, it's a first!
I've learned that...

Joey knows how to get jealous!!!!

Darn! That's so good to know that he actually know how to feel something like that!
All these times, I thought that he's not the jealous type.
You know, we've been together for more than 5 years and it's never an issue to him if I go to parties and places without asking permission first until this night when Ephraim and I started planning for a reunion for our batch this coming July.

He has no issues with Ephraim. It's my meeting with old friends that made a little jolt of concern out of him.
That was really sweet just to think that he's kind of scared of some other guys having my attention.

I learned that like most other man, Joey doesn't air if he's jealous with someone. But at least I know that he care.

That is so so sweet.
I love him so much. :)

Holy Week

2011-04-24T11:02:00.000-07:00

I miss my days of innocence
Where I know nothing but to praise your name
You always listen, just you and me.
That's how simple our life is back then.

Then I grew old and my world changed
Slowly I began wasting time to other things...
Left you behind, saying "I'm ok."
I never heard a complain.

Years have gone by, I started to feel hollow
Somehow I know, there's something wrong
I looked back and realized how far I was
There was you, now on the other side.

Hold me close, hold me dear.
Make me the child you once smiled with.
I surrender my all to be with you again
Bring me back my childish innocence.

Operation Happily Ever After

2011-04-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

Getting into a long-term commitment is something you don't do everyday. In my case, I've decided to dip into marriage with the man that I want to spend my whole life with last October 28, 2010. It's a dream come true and for me, there's nothing more beautiful than waking up with the man you love every morning.

As days go by, keeping up as a Barbecho really made me realize that being a wife to him is not the end of our fairytale. Instead, it is a new page of challenges, laughter and even tears that we need to bear and finish until the end. The sad part is, in today's world, more and more couples don't finish their love story books and often ends with a blank page so I pray to the Lord to grant us the strength and love that we need to not end like them.

I know that our five month adventures of being newlywed is not enough for me to talk like a pro about marriage. But as we go along in time, I hope to inspire those who read this blog to believe in the commitment of marriage and also to be with us as we face this new life of love and oneness.

This is the Nombre-Barbecho operation happily ever after. :)

Buhay Alamang

2011-04-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

People say that I'm suicidal. You know what? I believe I am.
From my class schedule of Monday to Fri and masteral class every Saturday, who do you think is crazy enough to accept work loads on Sunday? Yup, no other than me.
What can I do? I love teaching. And since that Joey is away, I'd rather spoil my Sunday life working than staying at home feeling sad for myself while missing my husband. Besides, teaching is also refreshing to my soul, so I think I can deal with it.

Maybe this is the life God wants me to have.

I am Shattered...

2011-02-26T08:33:00.000-08:00

Staying in Baguio for 2 days is great specially if you have your friends with you. In my case, I've spend it with my 1st year students and co-faculty. It's fun and at the same time, very tiring. But nothing can beat my frustration just now.

My all-out effort to drive my husband to be more sweet and compassionate to me was slammed with one statement from him.

"Magiging sweet ako sa iyo kung kelan ko gustong maging sweet. Tapos!"

That statement crashed my heart a million pieces that I can't help but cry. I cannot believe that the man I've chosen to marry and be with me 'till the rest of my life gave me this statement. I tried to be as calm as I can but I started to break down.

Surely, my effort was taken for granted and he doesn't want any of it at all.

I thought that if I could be sweet to him, he will eventually learn to be sweet too.

I thought that if I'll be the first one to say "I love you", he'll learn to say "I love you" back

I thought that if I will give him sweet nothings, he will also learn to do the same thing to me.

But in the end, that statement summarizes that all the things I've done are all annoyances to him.

Am I taken for granted?

That question bothers me up until now. I can't think well and I'm so lost. Even if we already talked about it and he's sorry, I can't mend the wound that is here with me. I know that he loves me more than anyone in the world but he lacks action and affection on how I will fee that love.

He is what he is.

My husband would buy things that I need rather than the things that I want. He bought me a 500GB external hard disk but not a single love letter. He bought me a watch but he never tell me how much he misses me. He even never shed a tear on the night before he left to Thailand!

I never asked for anything than his time and attention. I never asked for any money from him, I have my own job! I only want to hear sweet things from him. He's always casual, so emotionless when chatting with me. He is always stressed and busy in work and sometimes, I can't feel that he's with me.

After days of thinking, I've decided that I should play the game he plays. Someday I'll try to be stronger than he is. I will not say sweet words unless he wants too and would care less about him from now on.

Let's see where this decision can bring us. I'm so much in pain now....but I guess I'm also a great pretender.

Lost and Found

2011-02-26T07:12:00.000-08:00

I remember an email dated 2007 that ended with the words "you disappoint me." Words that signifies a personal decision to end a friendship and banish a person whom I've learned to trust and respect. Who can blame me? He broke our hearts by his childish, most unearthly deeds!

It was never easy to orient myself that he's totally out of the picture. His name is like a curse! Just hearing it makes me shiver in hate! I cannot believe that I was so innocent....so kind... so stupid to ever think that he can be a good family man! For me, he is a perfect inspiration gone bad.

I held this grudge in my heart for years. I never answered his emails, chat or calls. He tried several times to make things better again but I refused to respond. I don't know if it's pride, but I certainly do not wish to be ever connected to him again.

Call me idealistic, but that's the way I am.

Then a surprise came. I saw a man standing in our office waiting and waving at me as I do my speech in front of my class. I was stunned, but as I look at him I said to myself, "Yes, there he is. The man you've learned to hate."

It was totally awkward to see him. His usual voice and smile shows that nothing really changed. He came to me asking how I've been and how he missed us all. He opened his arms for a hug but only a few words came out of me with a frown. "Why are you here?"

Surely, he want to ask for forgiveness and he wants to get his friends back. He gave a stuff toy and tons of chocolates as peace offering. Looking at it, it shows that he still know the brands I prefer. Maybe that's what friendship brings. Even if years have gone by, friends still knows what their friends want.

After discussions, I realized that forgiveness is just around the corner to grab. He has been lost and now, he is found here with us in the Philippines where he belong.

It's so nice for the soul to forgive. But let me just remind everyone that I'm not the kind of person who forget. Our friendship will never be the way like it was before but at least, we were able to save it. I give thanks to him because if not because of his guts to face me again, this reunion will never be possible.

Nice to see you again.... :)

Half Moon Resurrection: Don't Move

2011-02-13T07:03:00.000-08:00

I woke up breathing deep with tears in my eyes
My heart is beating fast with fear consuming my very soul.
I looked at my window and relieved from a dream.
But somehow I know, it might be real.

I'm scared in a world where I can't breathe.
In a world where you are, and where you sleep.
Of people who call your name while I'm here,
I fear of them and I know I am weak.

Don't move! I beg of you! Please don't look at them.
Don't go anywhere where I can't find you...please just stay!
Wait for me! Oh I promise! I'll be there!
Please don't move! Just love me everyday. :(

A Brand New Year, Fresh Faces, A Lot of Smiles and The Same Old Us

2011-01-09T07:59:00.000-08:00

Ms. Jane, Gregg(that's me), Ma'am Abhy, Ma'am Marlyn,

Ma'am Grace, Ma'am Mabel and Sir Manny
January 5, 2011

After four long years, the wait is finally over and we are one group again. Having the thought that we will be reunited is a treat for me specially that these are the people that contributed much to my growth. Working at Engtek for two years is a series of ups and downs, both gave me the experience to have friends, build relationships and become the person I am now.

Most of us have already left Engtek and fortunately, most of us became successful in what we do. But even if years have gone by, it feels like it was just yesterday. They even didn't aged a bit. Well, I think I do.

We talked, ate, laugh and had a great time. As I look at them, I really want to say thanks. But maybe, deep in their heart, they already know how much they mean to me.

I thank Ms. Jane for treating us for dinner and Ms. Grace and Sir Manny for driving at Carmona.

I hope there will be a part 2 next year. :)

Noche Buena 2010

2010-12-24T09:52:00.000-08:00

I'm writing this at 11:32PM. Less than 30 minutes and its officially Christmas. Everyone is quiet and tired of preparing the last minute gifts that we've prepared for tomorrow's Christmas party. But as I am typing here in our room, I really feel sad.

Don't get me wrong, of course I am happy with my family here but I there is a part of me that greatly misses two important person in my life. Joey and Lola Payat.

Its our 2nd Christmas without her. She might be having her own Christmas party with the real birthday celebrant, Jesus Christ. If only I could turn back time, it would be very nice to see her eyes glitter again whenever she receive gifts from us. I can still see her smiles and hear her voice. For me, she's the best grandmother in the world and I know, she loves us dearly as we love and miss her too.

Joey and I never spent Christmas or New Year together every since we've been in a relationship. Believe it or not, it's never a Nombre tradition to let other people sleep in our house for Christmas or New Year's Eve so there's no way that Joey can spend the midnight at home. My frustration is, now that we're married and can now spend the holidays together, he is now in Thailand.

A call from him is a big relief. We prayed together and hope for a better 2011. Whenever if I'm hysterical of missing him, it's so nice that Joey has his ways of making things better and that's the thing that I really love about him. I just wish that I have the same courage as him to not miss him so.

Tonight's Christmas gift giving is awesome. I got a cool jacket from April, a laptop sleeve from Gibb and a box of Castañas from Mama! In return, I gave a body bag (Fila) to Gibb and a couple of hand bags to April and Mom (Sylvia Santos) . I may not be 100% happy emotionally, but at least I'm 100% satisfied with the gifts that I gave them. For once, I finally purchased the things that I want to give them for Christmas.

Even if I don't have Lola anymore, at least I still have Joey. With all the things that I have this holidays, I still believe that it would still be the best if he's with me.

I miss him and lola so much. Well, at least I have my family to keep me company. They are also the source of my strength.

Christmas Rush No More

2010-12-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

I'm so satisfied with the gifts that I bought this Christmas. Happy! Happy!

However, it was really a pain that I ever believed in this Christmas rush drama. I end up spending more than I should. :(

I thought that I could save by going to Baclaran to buy some stuff but unfortunately, there wasn't much to buy since there has been some series of vendor-police chasing there so it was really a bad move. In general, I spent my gift hunting at SM Dasma and you know what? I can was able to find cost effective gifts there.

Next Christmas, I know where to buy and I swear, I will not spend the way I did this holidays.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Jingle Bell Rock, Baclaran Blues and A Whole Lot of Wrappin'

2010-12-19T18:20:00.000-08:00

I thought that I will be on the blues since Joey is not around for Christmas, but instead, I was so busy as hell since the Christmas vacation started.

ITS and CCS Christmas Party at Biñan - had a blast and won 500 bucks! :)

UPH Christmas Party @ GMA -What am I going to do with all of this laundry stuff?

CCS Swimming (Hotdog day) - Played with my kids(students).

Buying gifts for my ina-anak, friends and family members, taking care of my exam papers (geezzz...), preparing my report paper for MIT, clearing our bills and more.

Not to mention that now, I have two (2) families to spend my Christmas with and I have to choose only one! :(

Because of my busy schedule, I think I'm going to spend my Christmas at Bago Bantay and the new year's eve at Nueva Ecija.

I wish I could find the perfect gift for Joey and I hope that I'll find the best way to send it to him.