The Bloggings of a Tigress

Home is where the heart is...

2012-10-03T20:01:00.001-07:00

“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”

― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

In a way, I have fallen down the rabbit hole. I don't know what adventures I will have but I do know one thing... They will be full of as much wonder and self discovery as Alice herself had.

I am at the beginning of my new life, in a home that is filled with my childhood. My past is here within these walls. I can feel them.

My new life begins here where I was born.

August 31, 2012.

My rebirth.

Moonshine

2012-01-02T22:59:00.000-08:00

Goodbye...

One of the hardest things we ever have to do. Say goodbye to the ones that we love. Though we never really say goodbye. We are forever left with a part of them in us. A piece that they left of themselves, precisely just for us. So that in whatever we say or do that little piece of them shows itself. We are then reminded of that person and think of them. Thinking of them often.

Though they may not be around anymore for one reason or another, they are forever with us in spirit.

Portraits

2007-10-08T16:08:00.000-07:00

I have never photographed so many people as I have within this year. With the youth sports photography and the photography class that I'm taking this semester... Funny, considering I'm not really good at photographing people, yet my instructor says he likes my portraits better than he does my photos of other stuff. If anything, I'm definitely getting a lot of practice.

And when you run out all your friends and their kids to take pictures of there is always the homeless people on the streets of San Francisco.

NorCal Pirate Festival Revisted

2007-10-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

Lab time this semester was cut dramatically this semester. We barely have enough time to get our assignments printed on time. Although, I've managed to fuck up on the first two assignments and have fallen completely behind. I'm supposed to be working on my 3rd assignment which is shooting 3 rolls of film. 3200 film shot at 800, 1600, 3200, and 6400. 25 or 50 film and infrared film. Printing 2 prints from each roll due next week on the 16th. I haven't even shot one roll yet.

However, I was able to manage to get some frames printed from the 2 1/2 rolls that I shot at the NorCal Pirate Festival earlier this summer. Not may, but at least some. I'm working on getting a flat bed negative scanner here pretty soon (yeah, along with everything else I'm trying to get!), so I can at least scan some of those in eventually.

Here are the prints that I did manage to get done.

Same Time Next Year

2007-10-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

It's been quite awhile since I posted last. Not that there has been a whole lot to post about. Been busy with work, photography work on the weekends, and now with the Fall semester under way, my photography class. Needless to say I've been very busy.

I still have no love life. Surprise! It's not from lack of wanting something, anything... It's more like all the men are either married or just your typical man who likes to talk a good game, but can't step up to the plate long enough to shut his trap and stop talking about what he says he's going to do instead of just doing it. Men like these I have no patience for and just irritate the fuck out of me. Like speed bumps they put in the middle of the road to slow you down. Just get the fuck out of my way! I've got no time for you. I just keep on going like they were never even there.

The past two months I was busy with youth sports photography. Managed to mack close to $700 during the soccer league season. That money will definitely come in handy. I was going to put all that money towards the digital DSLR I'm eventually going to buy, but it looks like I need to get new tires for my car. I already dumped about $2,000 into the bitch just at the end of August. Money that was meant for my digital camera. It was a sad, sad day for me when I had to put it all into my car. But as luck would have it, Nikon announced that they are releasing the D300 just in time for Christmas. I was planning on buying the D200, so it worked out perfect. Well, not entirely perfect. It's just going to take a little longer. I will still have to come up with all the money still, but at least I will have the new and improved upon version of the D200.

With that said, looks like I'll be dumping another $330 for much needed tires. I think I broke a belt in my front right tire over the weekend. My front end is shimmy and shaking more than normal, just like the last time I busted a belt. Only I never got a front end alignment so my front did a little shimmy shaking. At this rate, it may take me until next November until I'll be able to afford my camera.

Specially since I leave for my annual New England vacation next Friday. Looks like I'm going to be a little bit lighter on money for my trip too. That sucks ass. But, what can you do? Bitching and moaning isn't going to make any difference. I'm just happy to be getting away for a little while. One thing I noticed. My vacation always ends a day or two after daylight savings time. I know we set the clocks back an hour, so in all actuality we are gaining hour. But damn if it doesn't always mess me up when I'm home. It's bad enough that by the time my vacation is ending I'm finally on East coast time, I sure don't need that extra hour added on messing with me when I'm finally home. I'm looking forward to the New England colors and weather though. I can't wait! 11 days and counting...

Projekt Revolution, Part I - MSI

2007-08-03T13:27:00.000-07:00

My brother and I decided we only wanted to stick around to see Mindless Self Indulgence and HIM. Since HIM was the 3rd act on the main stage, they were the only reason why I paid $55 a ticket for Linkin Park's little music fest. I would have paid $76 a ticket for the good seats, so I could be that much closer to the stage to see HIM and to get closer shots of Ville, but apparently the second section of seats were the best seats available at the time of the pre-sale. Yeah, ri-ight. Bullshit! (Just once I would love to get really good seats in the first section!)

Because I had lost my tickets I had to go pick them up over at the will call window. After standing in the A - whatever-fucking-letter for quite a while, I was directed over to the customer assistance window. Then when I finally got to that window and went through my losing my ticket and calling them in spiel again with the guy at this window, he informs me that I should have stood in the A - whatever-fucking-letter window and told them my last name since that's where my tickets were. I explained to him that what I told the person over there was the same exact thing I just told him and they told me to come over to his freaking window. The guy was very nice though and got my tickets for me. He also happened to notice that they were actual seats, "These are hard to come by." I said, "Yeah. That is why I was freaked out about losing them. If they were lawn tickets I would have just bought a couple more." But I guess I should have been a little more thankful that I had actual seats, even though my view of the left side (my left that is) of the stage was obstructed by the stupid section sign posts for sections 103 & 102. Yeah. Uh huh. Very thankful.

My brother and I couldn't have timed getting to the show any better. By the time I finally got through the will call lines, got my tickets, and headed inside over to the second stage, MSI took the stage not 10 minutes later. Perfect timing.

Just like when we saw them at the Download Festival in 2005, they were fucking awesome. Little Jimmy Urine definitely knows how to play up to the crowd. Dance Dance Revolution, baby!

After looking at some of these photos though and seeing them up a lot closer, I didn't realize how old they were. I guess I just assumed that they were all in like their mid 20's or something just from how their crowd really seems to be the much younger set. (Well, much younger than me anyway)

I was looking at some of these pictures of Jimmy and was thinking "Damn! This guy looks like he's a total tweaker." He's got that whole thin, spun out of his mind for years that I look 50 instead of 23, tweaker look going on. So out of curiosity I looked them up further and looked to see when Jimmy was born. He was born just a year after me, in 1969. Well, hell. That explains a lot right there. Specially with all the references to the 80s pop culture, I thought they were a little young to be so into the 80s...I guess not. LOL Jimmy does look a little bit roughly worn though, and not just from age. I'm just saying is all. I'm sure the road is not kind to even those who abstain from putting any form of chemicals, so called pharmaceuticals, or liquids into their bodies.

Anyway, without much further ado, here are some shots I made of MSI.

Enjoy, Bitches.

Unfortunately, there was a lot of dust being stirred up during their set. Every time I tried to get shots of Steve, Right? a big dust cloud would then pop up and drift over towards where he was. This shot and another one below were the only two somewhat good shots that I was able to make of Steve. I would have liked to have gotten a really good dust clear shot of him, but it just wasn't meant to be. So if some of the pictures seem to be a little 'hazy' to you, you now know why.

Oh yeah? Proof it!

2007-07-27T18:08:00.000-07:00

I got a new toy for one of my cameras yesterday.

[At last count I've now got something like 16 cameras. But we'll talk about my camera habit in a later post.]

My new toy is a Polaroid back for my Mamiya 645 Super. A Polaroid? Yeah. And it's way cool too! It takes the Polaroid peel-apart 3 ¼" x 4 ¼" pack film that you peel away from the paper after its allotted development time. The whole process is pretty freaking neat. Snap the picture. Pull on the white tab to expose the tab for the picture. Pull on that tab, pulling it through the rollers, distributing the developer across the picture. Let it sit for 90 secs [depending on the film type], then peel apart. And waah-laa! You've got yourself a nice little Polaroid proof.

[I'm working towards experimenting with emulsion transfer. But I don't have all the equipment for that quite yet. I need to find me an old Polaroid Land Camera and a lot of other semi-expensive stuff for that. But it is on my list as one of the alternate processes that I want to learn.]

The Polaroid backs were used with medium format cameras like the Mamiya as a proofer. Before the digital age it, helped the photographer to instantly see that the lighting was good during the shoot before, and all that other good stuff, before shooting with film, and is still done today as such.

I've never worked with this particular film before [my Polaroid experiences have been with the instamatic film] and my Polaroid back unfortunately didn't come with a user's instruction. I bought it off of eBay for like a buck fifty plus $10.95 for shipping, so for $12.45 I'm not complaining since I rarely see one of these go for under $50. Loading the film into the backing was a guess and go, and hoping that I loaded it right. And but of course, I didn't! It wasn't too bad though. Thanks to Polaroid have a lot of documents available on their website, prior to all this I had downloaded and printed a document that helped me figure out what I did wrong and how to fix it. If only the instructions on how to load the film were explained a little bit more. But, in the end I only ended up wasting the first two pictures. Trial and error, but all in all, not so bad.

These are two test shots that I took after finally getting the film loaded correctly.

It's a Revolution... and it's upon us!

2007-07-27T17:50:00.000-07:00

Sunday the Projekt Revolution Tour is coming to the Shoreline Amphitheater in Mountain View. Linkin Park's little music fest, which of course they are headlining. I'm not a big Linkin Park fan, I liked their first album, Hybrid Theory and was one of the millions who bought it. But when they came out with Reanimation, I dunno, as much as I love remixes, they kind of lost me with that one. And Meteora, to me, just sounded too much like Hybrid, really nothing new there to chew on. I might stick around to see them perform, but I dunno, we'll see.

So then why in the hell am I going to Projekt Revolution then if I'm not such a big Linkin Park fan?

Good question. Glad you asked!

Well, I'm not a big My Chemical Romance fan either. I've heard of Taking Black Sunday and Saosin but haven't heard any songs from them. Placebo? Yeah, never heard of them either. Nor have I heard of Julien-K (giving them a listen on MySpace now, I like Kick the Bass, not too sure about the other songs they got up here though.), The Bled, Styles of Beyond... Yup, never hear of any of them.

Mindless Self Indulgence I had actually caught at the Download Festival, never heard of them until that day. My brother and I were actually making fun of them while they were playing cause they were terrible...but terrible in a good way if that makes any sense. The lead singer actually has a great stage presence that just works. And yeah, my brother and I ended up liking Shut Me Up. I mean, how could you not. It's a great catchy tune and it sounded great that day. MSI is one of those bands that you would love to hire to play at college party. In the end, MSI ended up winning my brother and I over.

Okay, so that leaves just one band left...

Oh com'mon now. Like you really didn't see that coming! That one was a given. Why in the hell else would I be going to this concert!? Why in the hell HIM are touring with Linkin Park and the like, though, is beyond me. They really don't fit in the same genre of music. But I guess because Him, Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, and Taking Back Sunday are all on Warner Bros. Music makes sense on that aspect of it all.

Last year HIM was supposed lined up to play on the No Sleep 'Til Halloween Tour with Papa Roach, Lostprophets, and Kill Hannah. Again, another line up that I didn't feel one way or the other about, but bought tickets nonetheless just to see HIM again for their Dark Light release. They later backed out of it in favor of getting back into the studio though, which I don't blame them for wanting to do. But I was a ~~lot~~ little bummed that I wouldn't be getting the chance to see them again until after they completed the new album.

Well, now the new album, Venus Doom, is scheduled to be released September 19th. AND... I've already got my copies pre-ordered with express shipping so I wouldn't have to wait and will actually receive them the day of the release. Copies? Yeah. They are release 3 versions of the album. There is the regular version, a special edition version that will have a bonus CD with a couple of the new songs remixed, in a special album package. Then there is the limited edition version that will come with "a 7" x 9" size antique-style "leather" wrapped journal with 60 pages of photos, illustrations, lyrics, etc. and includes the full length CD and bonus disc with 3 songs in parchment envelopes and 3 "polaroid" photos, contained in a sealed envelope in the back of the book." A little excessive you say? Yeah. But guess what? I don't care. So… [sticking tongue out at you]

So yeah, I'm ~~a little~~ extremely excited about Sunday. I'm finally getting to see them again and get to hear some of the new songs off the new album. I've already been listening to Passions Killing Floor, bought that one off of iTunes, since they contributed that song to the Transformers soundtrack. And I've been watching the new video for Kiss of Dawn (also on iTunes), which I really, really like. I'm having high hopes for Venus Doom, already it sounds a lot harder than the Dark Light album, which I knew was going to sound too much the way it did. [Why is that for American consumption that when a foreign band finally gets their recognition and gets officially released on a US label that the record companies end up pushing them for a more "poppy, more radio friendly" album? Fucking record companies! Yeah I know, it's all about getting their money back, then some, on their investments. But fuck-n-a already! Let the artist be themselves. After all, that is part of the reason they were signed in the first place.] Don't get me wrong, I liked the Dark Light, I just thought it could have been a lot better. But like I said earlier, I'm a lot more hopeful with Venus Doom, so far so good. I'm not so sure about the album cover [pictured], but I definitely can't wait to get it so I can hear the whole thing!

Wanna hear the most fucked up part about this whole Projekt Revolution concert that my brother and I are supposed to be going to?

I lost the fucking tickets! I can't find them ANYWHERE! I tore my freaking room apart looking for them fucking tickets over the weekend. It's not like they were lawn tickets either or I'd just say fuck it and buy two more. Since HIM is on the main stage I bought seats so I wouldn't have to be so far back, plus I bought the premier parking ticket too so I wouldn't have to park out in the dusty boondocks. I have no freaking idea where I put them since they obviously were not where I always put my concert tickets so that I WON'T lose them. Ha! I called Ticket Master and spent what felt like forever and a day holding until I finally got a CS Rep. My name is supposedly on the list for the premier parking and my two tickets are waiting for me to pick up at the will-call office. Supposedly. I don't know how smooth this is going to do since I've never lost concert tickets before.

I'll let you know how that goes.

Shake, rattle, and roll.

2007-07-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

I get on-line this morning to check my e-mail, first scanning the news headlines on Yahoo’s home page. Apparently “An earthquake jolted San Francisco Bay area residents awake early Friday, breaking glass and rattling nerves, although there were no immediate reports of injuries.”

The earthquake hit shortly after 4:40 this morning and was recorded to have been located 2 miles east of Oakland, with a magnitude of 4.2. It was also noted that it could be felt for up to 10 seconds on both sides of the San Francisco Bay.

If I hadn’t skimmed the headlines I wouldn’t have even known we had a small quake this morning. This was one resident that slept through the bugger. My eyes lids didn’t snap open until my alarm clock started blaring in my ear at 4:55.

After we had our big one back in 1989 I had a couple of friends that live in New England that had asked me if I was a little frightened living in California with all of our quakes and with the threat of the “Big One” that has been predicted to hit us. Hell, we have so many little jolts that most of the time they go totally unnoticed. But unlike the people who live in states that have tornadoes and hurricanes every year, we don’t have to worry about having to rebuild every time a quake hits. We rarely get big ones like the one we had in 1989. As for the “Big One” that is still predicted to hit the Bay Area? I’m not going to hold my breath waiting for it to hit. If it hits, it hits.

I'm just glad we're not Japan. Now that is a country that seems to have a lot more big freaking earthquakes than we do.

Personally, I would much rather live with earthquakes than hurricanes any freaking day. But that’s just me.

Thar Be Pirates!

2007-05-15T09:56:00.001-07:00

Looking to do something a little different for Father's Day this year?

Well, if you live in Northern California I just might have the thing for you.

The first annual NorCal Pirate Festival.

Vallejo, California on the Waterfront June 16 & 17.

Best of all?

Admission is FREE!

My Inner Freud

2007-05-09T17:03:00.000-07:00

I haven’t seen my ex, Mr. Love, since July of last year at the wedding of some mutual friends. I haven’t talked to him since October, just before he cancelled his cell phone service. Yet that doesn’t seem to stop me from still seeing him in my dreams. Although the dreams about him have been less and less frequent. What it doesn’t stop, though, is how I feel after I wake up. Any dreams I have about him resonate in me, upon waking up, and last for the rest of the damn day. Quite unnerving, really.

It has been, what, almost 2 years now since we have completely broken up. Three years really if you count the year before that when we tried mending what was left of our relationship. You’d think by now I’d be over him, or at least my feelings for him. Then maybe the dreams wouldn’t be so bad after waking from them. Then again, maybe because the dreams are so infrequent now that when I do have them they catch me off guard. Which is just like him, the fucker.

Last night’s dream started off pretty much as they typically do with him, with me showing up at a house where we both have as mutual friends. It’s a party with all the regular friends, getting drunk and just having a good time. Although they partied so hard this time in the dream, that they literally brought the house down all around them. The house was just a foundation of rubble and everyone still standing in the middle of it all partying like nothing happened. Yeah, I dunno. Weird.

Only this time with Mr. Love there was a bit of a twist. In the dream he had moved away and had come back to the party because he knew I’d be there. He was back to come and get me. He was telling me that he had to set himself up and his seaside business going before he could come and get me back. He kept saying how he moved to the beach in Sacramento and set up his ocean business.

I can remember the who time he’s telling me this that there is no damn beach in Sacramento and that there was no way in hell he could set up an ocean side business since there was no ocean in Sacramento. He was so adamant that it was Sacramento; I even kept trying to tell him that was impossible.

He was trying so hard to convince me to come with him, to be with him, live with him there. I finally asked him what made him think that I even wanted to move to Sacramento, what made him think that I’d give up my plans to just up and move to be with him. He had this look of confusion on his face, like why would I even think of not wanting to be with him. Then the dream ended with the confusion and a hurt look on his face.

I heard through the grapevine that Mr. Love was thinking of moving to San Diego, which I can understand why I had him moved in my dream. What I don’t understand is why in the dream I made him so intent that it was Sacramento. Especially since I was so stuck on that, him saying Sacramento, that I kept thinking that he had to have had it confused with San Diego. I even think I said that to him in the dream, but I’m not entirely sure.

What I do remember the most from the dream though are the feelings, the emotions. The way he felt emotionally, kissing me, telling me how much he still loved me, so sure that I’d leave to be with him… The way he made me feel, when he kissed me, telling me how much he loved and missed me...

It doesn’t take a psychologist to analyze that particular part of the dream, the true meaning behind it. I’d be a big fat liar if I said a part of me didn’t want him back, because yeah, a part of me would. Which I know is why I had him feel those emotions so intensely in the dream. But realistically, in the here and now, I know that what we had, whatever it was, is gone. There have been times when I had myself convinced that he never really loved me and times when I believed in my heart of hearts that he still loved me and would want me back some day.

I know, I know. Hopeless! Pathetic even.

I don’t live in this fairytale world, really I don’t. I’m much too sensible for that. I know that what once was, is no longer. I’d be a fool to think otherwise. I do believe that the love we had was genuine but I have since let go of the idea of me and him a long time ago.

It just sucks, when out of the blue, I have my self conscience reminding me that even though as much as I keep telling my heart that I’m over him...that really, I’m not.

“If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t.” ~ Lewis Carroll: Through the Looking Glass

"And it really makes me wonder if I ever gave a fuck about you."

2007-05-03T18:16:00.000-07:00

I can't get Maroon 5's Makes Me Wonder out of my head. Then again, it could be because I've been listening to it over and over for the past three hours. I kid you not. I can't help it, I just love the funky beat. It's one of those songs that makes you want to dance, even if it's only in my chair.

This morning before work I went and got my hair cut. Kathi, the woman that cuts my hair, so fucking rocks. We were talking about bands and she asked me if I was going to go to BFD this year. Just last night I looked at the listing of bands that were finally confirmed in the Live 105 e-news letter. Saw a few bands that I wouldn't mind seeing... Social Distortion, Queens of the Stone Age, and The Bravery, and maybe even locals Every Move A Picture...but I didn't plan on going, only because the one person who I know would love to go to this concert with me lives in Massachusetts. Other than her I don't hang out with anyone that listens to this type of music.

After talking with Kathi this morning though, it now looks like I'll be going with her and her husband to BFD. I don't know if I'll be able to make it to Ozzfest this year seeing as it is scheduled during a week day this year, so BFD might end up being the concert of the year for me. Yeah, I know. BFD and Ozzfest....two totally different sides of the spectrum. But that's me. I love just about all music out there. Variety is the spice of life!

Well, I'm off to huff chemicals in the photo lab!

"If I have to come back, I'm bringing a stun gun and a weed whacker."

2007-05-02T16:43:00.001-07:00

Did you miss me while I was gone?!

HA! Yeah, right!

Well, it has been one hell of a couple of months! It seems like forever since I was last here. Okay, so it’s been almost 3 months. It’s not like I have this interesting life that everybody wants to read about anyway. Proof of which will now present its self to you all.

In February a co-worker of mine came up to me and asked me if I’d like to go on a photo shoot with her as a second photographer for March 3rd to help her photograph the Marina California Pony Little League. I told her sure, but warned her that I wasn’t all that great. She said that it was pretty straight forward and simple and that she’d provide the camera for me. “Well, okay then. Count me in.” And I was getting paid for it! Sweet!

Since then I have now gone on a total of four Little League shoots, one of which on this past Saturday she sent me out to East Palo Alto to photograph on my own. I go back to EPA on the 12th of this month for the re-take shoot to photograph the kids that missed last week. I took my brother with me on Saturday to help assist me with all the parents, to make sure they had everything filled out and what not while I was photographing the kids. That didn’t quite work out as well as I’d hoped, but it was nice to just have him there with me so I wasn’t alone. I’ll be going it alone on the re-takes.

So yeah, I’m now a “Professional” photographer! HA! A professional faker maybe. But I’m getting paid to take pictures, so it’s not all that bad. The money I’m making with the sports photography I’m putting away towards the Nikon D80 that I’ve been coveting since it first came out. I’m almost $400 dollars closer to it than I was 3 months ago. Woohoo!

Speaking of money, the beginning of last month was the beginning of a nightmare. I had gone to the ATM to take $20 buck out. It was after putting in the $20 for cash wanted that I was greeted with a “Do you still want to take that money out even though you may be overdrawn?” I’m like, “WHAT THE FUCK? What do you mean I’m overdrawn?!” I KNOW I’ve got money in my account, because I haven’t paid my bills yet. I check my bank account on line and sure enough, I see that there was a $502 ATM withdrawal at the B of A main branch in Oakland. MOTHERFUCKER! And on top of that there was $150 worth of over draft fees from me using my debit card everywhere.

What ensued after that was a call to my bank to file a claim for my ATM/debit card being cloned. Then waiting for them to mail me the affidavit to file as well to verify the claim I placed over the phone. All in all it took me a little over 2 weeks to get that $652 credited back into my account. I had called and talked to the girl who actually processed my claim, and apparently in the past couple of months there have been an on going amount of ATM withdrawals from B of A’s all over the place from cloned cards being cloned onto like old hotel card keys. And there was an Albertson’s over here in San Lorenzo that had one of the credit card terminals used at one of the self checkout stands that was swapped with one tracking everyone’s card and PIN numbers who used it, for a month. For a month! Can you imagine all the card numbers they got in a month?! It makes me scared to use my damn card anywhere, as an ATM purchase anyway. Fuckers!

I have also got my own domain name now for my photography. www.teenamariephotography.com for those of you who may be interested. Don’t get too excited though. I haven’t had a whole lot of time to do anything with it except get my host and get a page up that says coming soon, but it’s a nice coming soon page. I used one of my angel photographs, Grieve Not, and used her for my home page and my business cards. My individual project photo lab class will be over in a few weeks, so hopefully I’ll have some time here soon to work on the site. I’m still not entirely sure of how it’s going to look, but I have a general idea of how I want it to look. Whether I can get it that way or not is another story. I’m a little confused how the CoffeeCup html editor that I got and the ftp and all that shit works, but I’ll figure it all out eventually like I usually do. It just takes me a little bit of playing around with it to figure it all out. If not, y’all will be hearing from me asking for help real soon! So be fore warned!

Uuhmmmm, what else…?

I found a really nice cemetery up in Santa Cruz last month. It’s called Evergreen Cemetery and oh is it ever green! It is absolutely beautiful! I must have spent close to 3 hours there just wandering around. From the front it doesn’t look all that big, but if you walk in through the main arch you can see the walkway continues back and up into the mountain side. It is surrounded by evergreen’s (some redwoods) and a whole lot of vegetation and ground cover (ivy, lily-of-the-valley, calla lilies, ferns, etc.). I even happened upon a banana slug which was freaking cool. Yeah, I’m a dork, I admit it. But I’ve never happened upon a banana slug out in the great outdoors other than when I went to Muir Woods and they had one out to show everyone what kind of critters are natural to Muir Woods. I took a lot of pictures with the digital camera, I just haven’t had any real time to sit and go through them all yet. You can be sure that I’ll post quite a few of them once I do…including the banana slug!

I don’t know if any of you remember me talking about the stray cats that like to hang out in my back yard…one in particular is a female cat that is not fixed, naturally! Well, last year she gave birth to a good sized litter, as did another female stray that hangs out in the neighborhood. Because I have a soft spot for cats and didn’t want the mama cats to go hungry I started feeding them, which of course once the babies all got old enough, they too started eating the cat food. Well, out of all the babies from last year there are 4 of them that still hang out in the back yard. Out of the four, two of them are females. And you know what that means… I’ve now got 3 pregnant cats hanging out in the back yard. Just last night I heard babies crying and went to check it out. One of the babies had her babies in the play house, but I think she is a different one than the three that hang around. From the sounds of it she may have 3 or 4 babies. Times that by 4 and I’m going to be having a lot of freaking babies hanging around. I think it time now that after the babies get weaned that I start trapping them and see if maybe get the babies off to the animal shelter for possible adoption depending on how feral they get, and get the mama’s fixed. It just pisses me off that I feel like I’m the one that HAS to do it. I know that if I don’t know one else in the neighborhood will, which really pisses me off because that first mama cat from last year…I know she has to belong to someone. I’m just real glad I keep my two girls in the house. They’re fixed, but I can just imagine the fights they’d get into with all the other cats. That is a vet bill I am happy to see gone.

Speaking of the back yard, now that it’s spring and all the rain…I’ve got one hell of a jungle growing back there. Since I’ve got a free weekend this coming weekend I think it’s going to be spent with the weed whacker. It’s definitely time for a little bit of spring cleaning of the back yard. I haven’t seen one of the Big Guy’s (one of the male strays) lately. I hope I don’t run across him as I’m whacking down the jungle.

Hope this find you all well.

“There is a reason that all things are as they are.” ~ Bram Stoker Dracula

Toy Stories

2007-02-15T17:35:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since i've really taken any pictures.

i've been kind of lazy.

but now it's coming down to the wire and i've got 3-4 prints that i have to have turned in the week of feb. 26th.

and you all know what that means.

i have to get my lazy ass out there and make some shots!

so...

with my toy holga 120 in hand, i've hauled my ass out into the abyss that is called the bay area. i figured i had this holga long enough, it was time to test it out. as my instructor says, "a camera that sits at home takes lousy pictures."

when it comes down to the wire, where does teena go in a pinch?

the cemetery, of course!

where else would i go?

i brought the holga with me when i went to vermont back in november, but only used it a hand full of times, so i still had half a roll left. the picture above is from one of those shots. it is the infamous haunted emily's covered bridge in stowe. it was nice to see it on the contact sheet after i developed the roll.

let me tell you...

loading 120 film onto the spools is a bitch! augh!

it took me what seemed like forever and a day just to get that first roll loaded. and i had two more to go! after finally getting that first roll on though, i was able to figure out how to get the other rolls on faster.

i'm just going to have to take more pictures with 120 so i can get in the practice of loading them onto the spools with no problem. i'm even looking into getting a mamiya 645 super. when i told my instructor i was looking to get he asked me why the 645. i said why not, i had to start somewhere. though after talking with him, he's not got me thinking about possibly going with the rb67 instead. i dunno yet. we'll see.

anyway, if all goes right in the darkroom tonight i might have my 3-4 prints done tonight. if not, i've got a 4-day weekend up in ukiah this weekend to get out there and get some more shots.

i'm off to the lab!

What's love got to do with it?

2007-02-13T15:04:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day.

Traditionally the day where lovers express their love for each other.

I never really understood this tradition.

Why should we set aside one day out of the whole year to show our significant other that we love them? Just so we can spend an absurd amount of money to support the economy? (Christmas being the biggest day of all days that defines whether we had a good economical year or not.)

Well, that's just silly!

This is something we should do everyday.

And I don't mean by buying material objects to express the way we feel about our loved one. Anyone can buy 'things' that supposedly says I love you. Saying, "I love you" isn't enough either. Anyone can say it and not mean it. It's their actions, what they do, that really tells you how much they love you.

What does your love do for you?

What do you do for your love?

Do you do this everyday?

It's everyday that counts, not just Valentine's Day.

You all might think I'm just being bitter.

"Bitter...table for one..."

Quite the contrary actually. I'm single and plan to be that way for quite a while. That's my choice. Last year I wouldn't have even fathomed the thought, but I know it's possible that there just might be another man (or woman) out there for me. Until then, I'm just going to take my time and enjoy what life has to offer me, everyday. And I'm going to enjoy all these days with my family and friends...MY loved ones.

Because, it's not just a series of 'one certain days' throughout the year that are special.

It's everyday.

Besides, I don't need Valentine's Day to know that I'm loved.

Harry is right

2007-02-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

Little Harry Potter's all grown up, well almost. Though he looks all grown up to me, by the looks of this picture! Not yet 18... Damn! I wanna see what's just down below the bottom of this picture. Is that bad of me to think? I mean com'mon... This picture really doesn't leave much more to the imagination. What I really wanna know is... When does he turn 18!?

Apparently, Daniel is causing quite a stir with this photo and others.

Anyone got roundtrip plane fair to the UK so I can see this play??

And speaking of Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling has finally announced that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the last of the seven installments, will be published July 21. WOOHOO! I can't wait for the new book to come out. Sad though, that this will be last Harry Potter book.

Since I don't have the means to fly to the UK to see Daniel in Equus, I guess I'll have to settle for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix that is supposedly coming out in July as well. After seeing this picture of Daniel though, I'll never be able to look at Harry Potter in the same way. I should be ashamed of myself. Really, I should.

Radcliffe stirs storm with pics for stage strip in `Equus'

Associated Press
2007-01-31

NEW YORK (AP) - "Harry Potter" star Daniel Radcliffe, who strips for his new role in London's West End revival of the play "Equus," has ignited a bit of a media firestorm by posing for racy promotional photos for the production.

The Tony-Award-winning drama tells the story of a stable-hand who has an erotic fixation with horses. In one photo, Radcliffe, 17, dares to bare it all alongside a white horse; in another, he is pictured with a naked Joanna Christie, the actress who portrays his girlfriend.

"Equus," directed by Thea Sharrock, opens at London's Gielgud Theater on Feb. 27. Tony Award-winning actor Richard Griffiths plays a pyschiatrist who treats Radcliffe's character.

"Part of me wants to shake up people's perception of me, just shove me in a blender," Radcliffe said in a recent interview with Newsweek magazine.

"It's a really challenging play, and if I can pull it off _ we don't know if I can yet _ I hope people will stop and think, 'Maybe he can do something other than Harry,'" he said.

Radcliffe, who was discovered seven years ago in the audience of a London theater, reprises his role as the bespectacled boy wizard in "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," slated for release July 13.

Phase One

2007-01-29T14:00:00.000-08:00

Well, it's not really phase one, per say, cause then that would mean that I've actually set some goals or some sort of resolutions for the New Year. And you all know I refused to jump on the NY Resolution band wagon like so many countless others.

So, what is this so called Phase One that I'm talking about? Well, I decided that it was time to stop smoking, again. I'm hoping that this time will be the last time I wll have to do this. It was pretty stupid of me to start back up again NYE of 2004, specially since I had been smoke free for a little over 3 years, but I did and it was a 2 year downward spiral after that.

Today marks 28 days that I have been smoke free. It's been tough. I'm still craving them little bastards like hell. It's not the nicotine so much that I'm missing though. I'm doing this cold turkey, no patch giving me little doses of nicotine. It's more just the action of smoking a butt, having something to do. I find when I am on the phone is when I really crave them the most. All I have to do is smell someone who has just smoked a butt though and all thoughts of smoking disappear. Although it still doesn't erase the urges to have one.

So now here I am almost a month in of being smoke free, that I now feel about 100 lbs. heavier. Always a drawback. One exchange for another. Old habits die hard. Now it is time to move onto so called Phase Two.

The gym.

Today is the day that I have decided to get my ass back in gear and try to get my ass into shape. I'm setting aside Mon, Wed, and Fri after work for the gym. That leaves me Tues and Thur for my lab nights. I'm hoping this schedule ends up working out.

Here goes nothing!

All Saints Shanty Town

2007-01-29T07:14:00.000-08:00

I had heard from some kids that there was a cemetery that was kind of hidden off somewhere over behind Hayward High. The only cemetery that I know of anywhere behind Hayward High is Mt. St. Joseph Cemetery, aka All Saints Cemetery off of Second St. on Walpert. I had asked the kids at the time if All Saints was the cemetery they were talking about, but at the time of the conversation, I got the impression that we were talking about two different cemeteries. So yesterday I dragged my ass out of bed, grabbed my camera gear and headed into Hayward on a mission to find this mystery cemetery.

After driving up and down East Ave and Second St., stopping here and there to take a closer look at the surrounding areas around the school, I finally came to the conclusion that it had to be All Saints. Which was a little disappointing, I was hoping to find another cemetery that was off the beaten path and not on any maps. No such luck.

The first time I had gone to All Saints Cemetery, last year on one of my other cemetery excursions, it had seemed to me that All Saints was a cemetery that was always kept locked. Driving by the cemetery from off of Second St. this time, instead of from off of Mission, I was able to notice that there are actually two sets of gates to the cemetery, and found the one set open that I didn't see the first time. I was excited to finally be able to drive in and look around.

(Yea, cemeteries excite me. If you have been paying any attention to this blog, at all, this should not come as a surprise to you. I did however find that there is a word for someone like me. It's called a taphophile. Ha! Look that one up! I myself have just learned over the weekend what that word meant.)

My excitement dissolved as soon as I stepped out of my car and started walking around. Something just didn't feel right about this cemetery. I normally don't get an uneasy feeling while I'm in cemeteries, which is why I don't mind going on my excursions alone. I actually prefer going alone, but this time I didn't feel like being in this cemetery alone. I wasn't going to let that stop me though. I wanted to take a look around, to walk around the perimeter, which I normally don't feel the need to do, but something about this cemetery made me want to do that.

All Saints' drive way is in a U shape, ending at the other gate that is kept locked. The cemetery itself slopes down towards the bottom of the U, it was here that I stopped and parked. (I didn't even grab any of my cameras as I got out of my car. This was definitely not going to be one of those trips this time.) From there the cemetery has another slope that slopes down to a nice size pathway like along the fence. It was down this way that I headed first, where I noticed a slit in the fence big enough for people to come and go with ease though it. I walked to the opening and noticed a little way ahead a baby stroller with a plastic bag attached to it. At this point I'm thinking to myself, "Why in the hell would there be a baby stroller out here, and who in the hell in their right mind would be back here with a baby in the first place?!"

I leaned in a little further forward through the opening in the fence, looking down the path to the right. It was then that I noticed a big red family sized tent that was pitched up. Everything that I saw outside around it led me to conclude that it was definitely being lived in. I didn't see anyone outside it, but I sure in the hell wasn't about to go looking to see if anyone was there. I did wish I had at least brought my digital camera with me though so I could have take pictures. I wanted to look around a little bit more down where I was though, then head back up to my car for the digital. Walking towards the other side of the cemetery along the fence (facing Second St) I noticed two more slits in the fence and more signs of homlessness. On the other side of the fence were two more make shift shanties. I didn't get close enough to see if anyone was in them, hell the fuck no. I did head back up to my car for the digital though. I had to at least take pictures of this.

While I was headed back up to the car I heard another car come into the cemetery. Some man with what looked like 3 kids in the car. They headed up towards the other gate, turned around then drove back out. I think the father spotted the make shift tents along the fence and figured it might not be a good place to have a little family outing. I, however, went to my trunk and got the digital, setting off my car alarm as I did so. It was then that I did see someone come walking over to the fence from where the big red tent was, looking to see who was in the cemetery. This guy ended up keeping an eye on me the whole time I was there. I kept an eye out myself, keeping an eye on him. It was actually quite unnerving knowing I was being watched the whole time I was there. Needless to say, I wasn't able to get back over to where he was to take a picture if the stroller or the tent.

One of the things I quickly noticed about the cemetery was the desecration visible everywhere you looked. Why anyone would go into a cemetery and vandalize it is beyond me. There were a lot of headstones that were knocked over and broken. In one of the trees I saw what looked to be part of a fender or door from a car. Now why in the hell would anyone put a fender/door up in a tree, let alone in a cemetery? I just don't get it.

Fuck was spray painted in blue on one of the trees, along with other verbiage. The same person with the blue spray paint, also spray painted 666 with an upside down cross on the back of one of the tombstones. Over on what was left of another headstone, someone had written all kind of crap with what looked like a blue and black Sharpie.

Seeing all of this just broke my heart.

I would like to go back with my toy 120 Holga camera and get some shots. With the light leaks, I think that cemetery would be perfect for it. I'm not so sure I'd want to go by myself though, which is a first for me. I doubt that any of those people that live on the outside edge of the cemetery would hurt me, but I definitely don't want to take that chance either. I felt uneasy in that cemetery for a reason. This is one time I'm definitely going with my instincts. Better to be safe than sorry.

After I was done at All Saints I headed over to Lone Tree. I'm still not happy with these hands. One of these days I will get a shot that I really like.

The Accidental Tourist

2007-01-23T14:11:00.001-08:00

Saturday TinyTima and I drove into The City for a day of adventure. We really didn’t have a plan, though Tiny did want to go shopping down in Chinatown, however little did we know that the day had a plan of its own for us.

We ended up down at Pier 39 amongst all the tourists. It took us forever to make it down the Embarcadero. We found parking with no problem, but at the time that we were headed towards the Pier was the same time that a demonstration was taking place. I’m not sure if it started at Pier 39, while working their way to where ever they ended up, but that is where they were when we got here. It was some kind of abortion protest. From what I saw, there were a lot more Anti-Abortionist’s than Pro Choice people. Personally, I’m Pro Choice. Since this is not a post on that debate, I will leave it at that.

Of course while one is down at the Pier, the viewing of the sea lions is a must. I didn’t even attempt to try and take any pictures from the Pier 39 observation deck they have. It was full of the daily lull of tourists.

After the sea lions we ended up heading towards the Sea Lion Café that overlooks, what else but the sea lions. We were seated quite close to the door and since I was facing the door I was able to watch all the people coming in. About 10 minutes after we got there I noticed this young guy with dark hair blue eyes. He ended up being seated at the table next to us, behind Tiny. Tiny had over heard him ordering, hearing is accent, she turned around asking where he was from. He told her he was from Poland. Tiny though didn’t hear what he said (she has a little bit of a hearing problem!) thought he said Colon. After I was done laughing my ass off I had to tell her, “No you crack head. He said Poland!” After all the laughing was done she turned back around and asked him if he wanted to join us at our table asking if he was here alone, which he accepted.

We introduced ourselves, though when he said his name I asked him to spell it for me, writing it on the table as he did so. (The Sea Lion Café cover their tables with white paper and have a glass of crayons for the children to keep themselves busy. I was drawing a cemetery scene when we asked him over.) His name was Wojtak, 26, from Poland, living in Vienna. Turns out this guy already has his PhD in like micro-biology, or some shit like that. He was down in Ventura, Ca earlier in the week for some convention. He figured since he was here he’d make a vacation out of it and came up to San Francisco.

I can’t even remember all of what we talked about, we talked about so many things about here and back in Europe. He spoke English very well and understood it pretty good too, specially since we Californian’s speak a slang all our own, he understood it all. We were sitting for so long just talkin that we ended up being the last people in the café to leave; it had closed early for a personal party.

The three of us ventured back to the front of the Pier where he was going to head back towards downtown, where he was staying. Tiny and I really had no other plans, I mentioned going to the beach, to the Cliff House and asked if he’d like to join us. Accepting we headed back to the car. It was while he was getting into the car with us that Tiny remarked about didn’t his mother ever teach him not to get into cars with stranger’s, which he laughed at. I had to admit, Tiny had a point. Then again, we were pretty much guilty of the same thing. After voicing that we though it was a safe bet to assume that we were all safe from each other, we headed towards the Cliff House.

Now it has been at least 2-3 years since I’ve last been to the Cliff House, but I didn’t expect to see what I saw. I was completely disappointed. What I was seeing was not the Cliff House that I had described to Wojtak earlier at the café. They had re-modeled the place! And to top it all off… They also got rid of the penny arcade that was down below on the observation deck! Augh, the nerve! I tried to explain to Wojtak what the place used to look like, but I know there was no way he could imagine what I was trying to describe. It was after he went inside to use the restroom that he said he saw what I had meant. He had seem a pictures that they have displayed showing what the Cliff House used to look like it it’s hey day, then again after the fire.

After getting some pretty good sunset shots we headed down to the beach. Tiny ended up breaking free from us and went off on her own. Wojtak and I just ended up walking down the beach talking and looking to see if we could find at least one sand dollar that was still whole, after explaining to him what a sand dollar was and what it looked like.

Eventually we walked back towards Tiny, then back up to the car. Stopping mid way up, looking down below at the Sutro Bath ruins. Showing him the places down below where there were caves, which ones were still accessible and which ones were closed. Briefly told him the story of how my uncle had to be rescued from one of the caves back when he was 13. Then explained to him why most of the other caves where now off limits and not accessible anymore. After that we made our way up to the car and headed back down into downtown to drop him off near the hostel.

In a nutshell, that is how I spent Saturday being a local tourist in The City. You are probably wondering if I got Wojtak’s e-mail address or something, to maybe keep in contact with. Nope. Saturday was just one of those random days that something awesome happens to you, which you can look back on one day and remember with a smile.

Saturday, was definitely one of those days.

Risks

2007-01-19T20:41:00.000-08:00

Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice. Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

No, really... I am!

2007-01-19T08:38:00.000-08:00

I finally got my poor car back this morning.

And she RUNS!

I've missed my car!

Today is truly a bee-ut-i-ful day!

I shouldn't have gotten out of bed!

2007-01-16T17:17:00.000-08:00

This morning I go out to warm up my brother’s piece of shit ghetto car. It won’t start. It was so cold during the night that it drained the fucking battery. Just great.

So, I call my uncle up, but before I can get a word out he tells me he was going to call me this morning. Good news: he found out what was wrong with my car. The bad news: he can’t fix it; I’ll have to take it to the VW dealership. (I’ve been trying to do that for the past MONTH! But “Oh, no! I can fix it.” Since June of 2006 wouldn’t let me!) “Oh. Okay. Great.” I tell him, “Because now I can’t start my brother’s piece of shit!” He tells me I’ll be right over to jump you.

While I’m waiting for him to come over I call into work, again (I called in sick yesterday) and tell them I’m having car troubles and that I might not make it in today. Then I find the phone number for the VW dealership in Hayward; make an appointment to have my car dropped off today, via tow truck.

Finally my uncle shows up and jumps me and gets the ghetto-mobile started. I head to the gas station (leaving the car running) and put in some petrol. Head over to my Grammy’s where my car has been busy being lawn art, and call AAA to come and tow me (yep, car is still left on, running). Tow truck came within 10-15 minutes, YES! Got the bitch all hooked up and on her way to the dealership.

After finally leaving the dealership I head to Starbucks. I have yet to have my morning coffee. I get a call from my uncle though, asking me if I’m missing any keys.

“No.”

“Then whose keys are these in the door?”

“Shit! Mine.”

“Where are you now?”

“Heading to work.”

“Okay, I’m headed into Hayward this morning. I’ll drop them off to you there.”

“Okay, thanks.”

Oh, and about 4 hours ago my meds wore off and I’m feel like fucking SHIT! I forgot to throw some meds in my purse when I left this morning.

That conversation above? That was at about 9:30 this morning. It’s now after 5 o’clock and I’m still waiting for my uncle to drop off my keys.

Hell, I didn’t even plan on coming into work today. I just kinda ended up here.

A Grandmother's Love

2007-01-09T12:22:00.000-08:00

Grandmother hugs and Grandmother kisses,

Hot oven cookies and holiday wishes,
Attics with treasures of children grown old,
Stories of magic and princes so bold,
Oceans of patience and rainbows of love,
A bright ray of sunshine sent from above,
You stirred my childhood with rich, golden days,
Touching my life in so many ways.
When shadows are dark,
I reach through the night,
The love of a Grandmother shines like a light.
~Unknown

A year ago this morning I lost the one woman who meant the world to me, my Grammy. When most babies were bonding with their mother I was bonding with my Grammy. My mother was a very young girl when she had me, so growing up; my Grammy was my mother up until I was 4.

My Grammy taught me how to sew, knit, and crochet all by the time I was 5. I even remember having my own tin of various colored threads, needles, and swatches of fabric so I could make clothes for my little Dawn dolls. Dawn dolls...geez. How many of you out there remember those?!

My Grammy gave me a love for books. Every week she and I walked up town to the main library. I'd come back with stacks those little green Beatrix Potter books. Gawd, how I loved those books and how I always looked forward to going to the library.

My Grammy also gave me a love for the Greek. Every year she would take me to the annual Greek Festival, when it was still held in downtown Oakland at the Henry J. Kaiser Convention Center. I loved all the different foods and breads. What I enjoyed even more was watching the dancing. I'd never seen anything like it.

There are so many things that remind me of my Grammy. Even though she is gone, I know she is still all around me in all the things that I see and do. I miss her like crazy but I know she is happier where she is now and I know... She is never far away...

2006 Retrospect

2007-01-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

Unlike last year where I actually had a list of some things that I wanted to accomplish in 2006, this year I figured my aim would be nothing. After all, as the saying goes, "If you aim at nothing, you're bound to hit it every time." Yeah sure, we all set some kind of resolution(s) for the New Year. But how many of them do we actually reach? Well, let's take a look back to last year's, shall we...

1. Quite Smoking, again!
I did attempt this one several times over the year. In the end I always fell back on the motto, "Quitting is for quitters. I'm not a quitter." A lame ass excuse I know.
2. Lose about 50 lbs. (Okay, not really. I thought if I set the bar really high that if I didn't reach my goal at least I won't be disappointed.)
Yeah, uhm... We won't talk about this one.
3. Get my life back in order and out of debt.
I don't know what kind of order I was aiming for really, and as for the out of debt part... I think I am in a bigger hole now than I was then.
4. Get laid.
Okay this one I actually accomplished, not once, not twice, but three whole times! Was it worth it each time? Absolutely...not! I’ll get to that later though.
5. Get laid as much as possible!
Uhm, yeah…after the last few times, I thought it best to just leave things alone. It was a nice sentiment, but one that I knew was not realistic.

So after last years list of good intentions I decided it was best to just forego the New Year’s resolution shtick. After all, I do a good job on my own fucking up my life. Making New Year’s resolutions is just asking for Murphy’s Law to intervene. Now with that said, let’s take a moment to look back on some of those 2006 highlights, known as my life.

A week into the New Year my car needed fixing, again. This time I think it was the catalytic converter. Then, a year ago tomorrow actually, my Grammy passed away. January was already starting on the wrong foot.

February – Another death, this time Wenchy’s grandfather. Apparently I was also tried to quit smoking this month. Had the weirdest dream about Paris Hilton. Acquired a film SLR camera that I dropped, but this is when I really started to take my photography seriously.

Come June I had gone to a few concerts…Live, the Zumie Couch Tour,and BFD. By the end of the month though, my car took a shit on me. Well, more like died on me. Which resulted in me having to drive the Ghetto Convertible, having to rent a car to attend my friends wedding, and ended up fucking one of my ex-boyfriend’s not once, but twice. Somewhere in there I also fucked my old Boy Toy, who was also getting married in July too. I was being quite the slut. I ended up having one of the weirdest dreams to date that had a message because of it.

In August I turned 38. I still don’t know when I got to be 38. Time is just whizzing on by. I did buy myself the greatest birthday gift though. I registered for my first photography class and learned how to develop my own film (black & white) and my own prints. Fell in love with black & white photography all over again.

October brought the shocking death of Zenn. It’s been 3 months and I still can’t get over the fact that he is no longer with us. What still pisses me off about the whole thing is that it’s been 3 months and, as far as I know, the guys who were responsible for his death are still roaming the streets free. It saddens me to think that Zenn’s murder is going to be just another statistic.

I finally made it out to Vermont/Massachusetts for my yearly East coast vacation on Thanksgiving Day. I was hoping to visit with Drew while Erin and I were in Burlington, but that never fucking happened. I don’t know what was up Drew’s ass this time, but it was quite obvious he was avoiding me. Drew knew that I was coming out, but when I was there he wouldn’t return any of my calls the first night I was there. This isn’t the first time he’s pulled this shit, but it’s the last time I try and plan anything involving plans to visit with him. My new motto for Drew…Fuck ‘em! The one good thing that did come from my visit to Vermont was the picture I caught of Erin swinging on the swing set in her cousin's park.

I ended the year with the end of my photography class. I was told by my instructor that I’ve got talent. I told him that he probably tells that to all of his students, but that I’d like to think that I’ve got some kind of talent or I’m just wasting my time and money. He told me that I just need someone to give me a kick in the ass once in a while, which he is completely right about. But I completed the class with an A, which means a lot to me. I worked my ass off, with a little bit of laziness, but totally moved my ass to make it all up.

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So now we’re 8 days into the New Year. My car is still not running and I’m still driving around in the ghetto’vertible. I think the transmission is starting to take a shit in that car. Nice.

I’m 7 days smoke free, haven’t had a cigarette since New Years Day. I’m doing it cold turkey. This weekend was pretty ruff, but I held out, fought the urge to buy a pack.

Next week my next photography class starts. I’m excited and looking forward to that. I can’t wait to get back into the dark room.

I’m just going to sit back and let 2007 come one day at a time. I can’t look into the future; I can only see what is in front of me today.

I (heart) Justin Timberlake

2007-01-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

Okay, so most of you probably have seen the censored version when it aired. I, however, don't watch TV, nor do I watch SNL. So, it's when things like this get posted to YouTube that I finally see them. I ran across this sketch last week and just about died. It's little stunts like this one that makes me just (heart) Justin Timberlake to death. I will even go so far as to admit that I even like "Sexyback". Yeah, I do. As a matter of fact I'm listening to it now and you know my ass is dancing my ass off in my chair. Yeah, whatever! You know you chair dance too, so don't even pretend you don't know what I'm talkin'bout.