The Blonde Board

Shooting wide

admin — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 16:34:59 +0000

A friend was laughing at his girlfriend who thought clay pigeons were real birds and then when he explained clay pigeon shooting was just clay discs she asked why people would want to fire clay discs at pigeons.

If God had a name

admin — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 12:40:37 +0000

Recently I heard these two misinterpretations that friends of mine have said in church as kids. The first is “Thanks, Peter God” instead of “Thanks be to God” and “Harold be they name” instead of “Hallowed be thy name”

Where’s that again?

admin — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:47:01 +0000

Watching the golf and Hazel Irvine commented on Henrik Stenson’s chances of winning saying a Scandinavian had never won the competition to which my friend said “ Scandinavian? I thought he was Swedish”.

I’m Spartacus

admin — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 15:57:09 +0000

Having a discussion about music festivals we were talking about the daft things that are shouted around the campsite such “I’m Spartacus!” to which a friend asked, “What film’s that from then?”

Phonetically Incorrect

admin — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 18:09:38 +0000

Discussing the phonetic alphabet with a few people, one of them said “I don’t really know it, on the phone I just say things like A for orange.“

The road from nowhere

admin — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 14:03:34 +0000

After watching the film “The Road”, based on a novel by Cormac McCarthy which is described as “A post-apocalyptic tale of a man and his son trying to survive by any means possible.”, my girlfriend talking to her friend asked “So is it based on a true story then?”

Where in the world?

admin — Tue, 25 May 2010 15:05:28 +0000

Whilst watching the adverts between Coronation Street an advert came on for a TV drama entitled “Munich” about the Busby Babes airplane crash. I explained to my female companion that it was about the ‘58 Man Utd team and the tragedy of the event. Upon which she replied “How awful where did that happen?”

Make up your mind

admin — Fri, 21 May 2010 20:06:30 +0000

“So that’s two beef burgers. One’s a chicken burger and one’s a beef burger.”
(At my local Wetherspoons)

Score Draw

admin — Sun, 02 May 2010 14:16:54 +0000

Sat watching the football and the game has got a bit defensive but the score is currently 2-1 to Manchester City Andy observes “This game has nil nil written all over it”.

Autoque

admin — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 09:31:44 +0000

Whilst watching the TV news MP David Blunkett was being interviewed and his eyes were darting around and looking down to the right of the camera. One of our friends commented –
“He’s blatantly reading those answers from something off camera!”

For those not familiar with David Blunkett, he’s blind!