It’s a little embarrassing sometimes when the dog will be bugging me for awhile and I start asking her “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?! I’ve taken you for a walk… I’ve played with you… I’ve given you a bunch of scratches… what. do. you. want?” And then I realize her dinner time was 2 hours ago.

Couches are such a pain in the neck to move around different floors of a house or apartment building. Especially by yourself. I kind of wish it was common for them to come in pieces that you could easily move around and then snap together. If they made common connectors then you could swap out pieces for different uses or upgrade just part of your furniture at a time.

Recliners can take quite a beating in everyday normal use. They mechanisms eventually get stiff or sticky or really loose. They have to get really bad for most people to finally replace them. I’ll frequently be at someone else’s house and sit in their recliner and have to get a set of instructions on how to operate it. “You have to lean to the left and the pull back on the handle while jerking yourself forward and then quickly lean back… here, just get up and let me show you.”

Passing the salt is usually pretty easy. The tricky ones are at big family dinners where someone asks you to pass the giant 15 pound bowl of mashed potatoes. I sometimes want to say “No, seriously… you should just get up and come over here to get some.” as I have visions of dropping the bowl and catapulting the hot gravy all over one of my cousins.

When I was a kid water slides were a rare thing that you had to drive many miles find. I mainly saw them when on vacation in places like Florida. Now I see them all over. The local pool has a bunch and I even see them at some hotels I pass on the highway. The ones that I had access to were just standard slides you would see on a playground but there just happened to be water at the bottom.

I still remember being introduced to basketball in gym class way back around 3rd grade or so. The ball was enormous and impossibly heavy. The hoops had a special little kid mode where they dropped down an extra 4 feet or so but even with that I could barely get the ball to hit the bottom of the net as it dangled a foot out of my reach. I liked it much more when I got older and could actually land a shot. I begged my parents for a hoop at our house and they promised to attach one to the garage that never got built.

Every time I draw some sort of squirt gun comic I think about the kids a few doors down that had battery powered squirt guns that they modified to be connected to a milk jug full of water that was in a backpack. I tended to keep my toys as pristine as possible where they were constantly hacking and upgrading theirs. What’s your favorite water fight memory?

I own a dog and I’ve owned other dogs in the past but I’ve never been to a dog park. I don’t think any of my dogs have known they exist so they probably don’t resent me. At least not for that. They always seem pretty disappointed that I don’t constantly drop large plates of food on accident.

There were always some days where you could fly a kite all day long if you could just get it past the first 50 feet of dead air into the fabulous windy section that reached up to the clouds. You would look around at the other kids casually doing loops with their kites and wonder how they got them up there. After a half hour of running and throwing and swearing I would finally give up. The worst part was the strong breeze hitting my face as I reached my house.

The thing about burritos is that they can be secretly hiding an inner core of refried beans that is many time hotter than the surface temperature of the outer tortilla shell. You won’t discover this until it is too late and your mouth has been melted shut.