The Booth of Our Conniving

2012-01-29T16:07:00.000-05:00

DASHING FIGURES IN EXTREMIS

A lasting diversion some have already stopped talking about
Has engaged the senses of readers from sea to shining sea: you have to give up
Now. Are you happy? You don't look hungry. Are you
Deleting comments? Let's break into scientific notation,
Where many have taken refuge. I was delighted to have found
A nip slip in the archives. This doesn't mean we can't be friends,
Even if I don't feel like answering your insipid questions.
It's early yet, my pants are on fire, and I'd like to detect the
Slightest vibration in me, coming from you
Before the usual suspects decode the recipe for
Our secret milkshake, and our waitress wipes our tears
With a napkin on which is written: "You've been served."

2012-01-26T12:21:00.001-05:00

2012-01-20T15:55:00.000-05:00

What did you think of Bellflower?

2012-01-13T11:57:00.001-05:00

2012-01-13T11:20:00.001-05:00

2012-01-12T09:32:00.001-05:00

Alana, Age 6, Best Beauty Pageant Kid, Ever - Watch MoreFunny Videos

2012-01-11T17:04:00.000-05:00

They say you don't need to have lived an exceptionally interesting life to write an interesting memoir, but I think it sure helps if you have. Jessica Mitford's life was certainly action-packed, and she writes about it with great humor and insight. I started reading her book Hons and Rebels, originally published in 1960, a week ago, and it's captured my complete attention. I'm sure it will turn out to be one of my favorite books I'll have read this year. Until now I'd known nothing about the saga of the Mitford sisters, and now I can't believe I haven't heard about them before. Here are a couple of passages that illustrate, in very different ways, Jessica's unique place in history. (Miranda was her pet lamb when she was a child, and Miss Bunting was a governess who taught her how to shoplift.)

A high point in my life came when Evelyn Waugh, a writer feller and one of the main Swinbrook sewers, promised me that he would immortalize Miranda by substituting the word "sheepish" for the standard "divine" in his forthcoming book, Vile Bodies. I was on tenterhooks until the book was actually printed for fear he might go back on his word. But there it was, in black and white: "He left his perfectly sheepish house in Hertford Street . . ." With Miss Bunting's help I lifted an extra copy from the Oxford bookshop, and hung it proudly on a tree in Miranda's field.

Later, her older sisters Unity and Diana would befriend Adolf Hitler. (Boud was Jessica's nickname for Unity.)

One possibility occurred over and over again; I could pretend to have been suddenly converted to fascism, accompany Boud to Germany and meet the Führer face to face. As we were being introduced I would whip out a pistol and shoot him dead. Of course I should immediately be felled by Hitler's guards; but wouldn't it be worth it? The awful thing would be if I missed and still died in the attempt. Unfortunately my will to live was too strong for me actually to carry out this scheme, which would have been fully practical and might have changed the course of history. Years later, when the horrifying history of Hitler and his regime had been completely unfolded, leaving Europe half destroyed, I often bitterly regretted my lack of courage.

2012-01-10T17:02:00.001-05:00

2012-01-10T09:11:00.001-05:00

2012-01-09T12:09:00.001-05:00

2012-01-09T12:05:00.001-05:00

2012-01-09T11:27:00.002-05:00

2012-01-05T16:02:00.001-05:00

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2012-01-04T11:49:00.001-05:00

2012-01-04T11:18:00.000-05:00

2012-01-03T10:58:00.000-05:00

My 2011, The Ten Funnest Reading Experiences of

2012-01-01T22:35:00.000-05:00

Listed alphabetically by author, here are my ten favorite books from 2011 (most of which were published before 2011, some of which I started reading before 2011):

Veronica — Nicholas Christopher (novel)
Study in Pavilions and Safe Rooms — Paul Foster Johnson (poetry)
The Devil in the White City — Erik Larson (nonfiction)
Leaving the Atocha Station — Ben Lerner (novel)
Rogue Hemlocks — Carl Martin (poetry)
Appointment in Samarra — John O'Hara (novel)
Iterature — Eugene Ostashevsky (poetry)
Ted: A Personal Memoir of Ted Berrigan — Ron Padgett (nonfiction)
Live Nude Girl: My Life as an Object — Kathleen Rooney (nonfiction)
Applies to Oranges — Maureen Thorson (poetry)

Three nonfiction books! I want to read more nonfiction in the future.

Now here are a few good books (listed in random order) I'm currently reading, some of which may end up on this year's ten funnest list:

Jamie Is My Heart's Desire — Alfred Chester (novel)
The Life and Opinions of DJ Spinoza — Eugene Ostashevsky (poetry)
The New York Stories of Elizabeth Hardwick — Elizabeth Hardwick (stories)
Selected Stories — Robert Walser (stories)
The Fermata — Nicholson Baker (novel)
Moving Day — Ish Klein (poetry)
Late in the Antenna Fields — Alan Gilbert (poetry)
Names on the Land — George R. Stewart (nonfiction)
Just the Thing: Selected Letters of James Schuyler, 1951-1991 — James Schuyler (letters)
Alexander Hamilton — Ron Chernow (nonfiction)

2011-12-29T14:33:00.001-05:00

2011-12-29T14:32:00.001-05:00

2011-12-29T14:29:00.001-05:00

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2011-12-19T11:55:00.000-05:00

HOW SHALL SEMINARY EDUCATION BE IMPROVED?

If the past is any guide, the impetus for constructive change is likely to come from several contributions to economics, and if I have time to clean up the mess we have created, lay out some old newspaper on the floor on top of the plastic to soak up most of the wet mess from the popcorn ceiling. This, said our informant, had achieved a more pleasant working atmosphere and better presentation of the food. When you open this level you will see Lara walk into the foyer from a double door and she reads a note on the central table: "Man, I knew this question mark tattoo was a bad idea." I immediately engaged two temporary assistants to help me wonder why our country is often used to receive a messy condiment surprise.