The Booze Hounds Inc. Running Team

Flashback Friday: Celebrating 20 years of running even though I don't post here anymore

2026-03-06T08:00:00.190-05:00

My running life was sparked in September 2005, when I gathered with some friends to watch the Akron Marathon. My eventual training buddy Martini was running for the third straight year, having begun when the race was established in 2003. I stood out front of an apartment building a block away from my own and drank a Yuengling Porter as I watched hundreds of runners of all shapes and sizes plod past, and I thought to myself, “That might be cool.”

I had tried running a couple times in my life. The first being a kid's turkey trot at Plum Creek in my hometown of Kent, Ohio. I was about to finish third and win a prize when this girl came from behind and beat me to the finish line. That was my first lesson in finishing strong. I tried running a few times in college with my friend and roommate J, but it never stuck. I grew up playing hockey, so I did a lot of ice skating and rollerblading for fitness. But when that was over, I became kind of sedentary.

Aside from Martini, my other main running influence was my dad. I believe he was the same age as I was when he began running in the 1970s. I have early memories of watching him run the annual 10K at the start of Kent Fest every July. Sometimes I would ride my bike alongside him as he ran around the neighborhood or at the nearby bike and hike trail. There also was a couple who lived in my neighborhood growing up who would let me ride my bike around the block with them as they ran. They were nice, but I don't remember their names.

In high school, I had picked up smoking. But by the time I watched that 2005 Akron Marathon, I was either on my way to quitting or had already stopped. After the winter thaw as the promise of spring peered just around the corner, I decided to go for my first “real” run. I say “real” because it was the run that stuck, and I haven’t stopped since.

It was March 2006, and I wore sweatpants and some old tennis shoes. I think I went a mile, but it was probably less than that. It felt good. I was tired, but invigorated. My skin tingled with sweat. My legs wobbled. My lungs burned. But it was satisfying in a way that spurred me to keep going. And that’s what I’ve done for 20 years, with plenty of highs and lows.

The first year

Not long after I started running did I decide to train for my first race. I targeted the same 10K that I used to watch my dad run. Of course, it was no longer called the Kent Fest, nor was it even the same course he had run. But the race was still held before the start of the annual Kent Heritage Festival on July 4th weekend.

Training for that first race didn’t go easily. I started getting shin splints as I increased my mileage. A friend told me I should invest in actual running shoes, suggesting I go to Lucky Shoes in Fairlawn, Ohio, to get properly fitted. My dad always wore Brooks, so that’s what I got. The woman who helped me suggested an easy exercise to get rid of my shin splints, and I haven’t had a problem with them ever since. The shoes were a little big, but they served me well for more than 600 miles.

The biggest mistake I made that first year was training without a plan and not logging my mileage. I estimate I ran about 500 miles that year, which is still more than I’ve run since 2011. I linked up with Martini, and we ran together often. Watching him run the Akron Marathon again in 2006 inspired me to get serious and train for my own marathon. I read some books, started logging my miles and found a training plan to complete my first marathon in 2007.

The first marathon

Before embarking on training for my first marathon, I first decided to run a half marathon. My employer decided to encourage us to get fit (my boss being an avid triathlete), and they offered to pay for my entry for the Cleveland Half Marathon in May 2007. Training through the winter was a bit of a challenge, but I was able to complete the race in less than two hours, which felt empowering.

As I morphed into a more serious runner, I decided to start chronicling my adventures in this here blog, the name deriving from a defunct MySpace group I used to run, where my friends and I would recount our drinking adventures. I kept the same idea with the blog, but added running to the mix. My blogger handle was a nickname an old coworker had given me when I worked at a record store. I quickly discovered a whole community of likeminded runbloggers who encouraged and amused each other.

This was the year I really caught the racing bug. Running the half marathon gave me confidence to train for the Akron Marathon that year, but I also ran a 5K, a 10K and another half marathon before completing my first 26.2-mile race.

I started to develop a set of racing goals that motivated me for several years. I wanted to beat 25 minutes in the 5K, 50 minutes in the 10K, 1:50 in the half marathon and four hours in the marathon. I trained hard that year, but four hours was just too tough to beat in my first attempt. I finished in 4:26 and vowed to keep trying.

The epic year

My third year of running was simply the most ever. Most mileage. Most races. Most fun. In 2008, I ran 1,000 miles, still the most I’ve ever run in a year. I completed the “Summer Solstice Challenge” with Martini and ran 26.34 miles on the Towpath, still the most I've run at one time. I completed 10 races, still the most I've run in one year, including two half marathons and two full marathons, although the four-hour mark still eluded me. Heck, I even started playing the banjo that year (see my other blog). And on top of all that, I also met the woman I would marry three years later, even after I told her about crossing the puke threshold. What an exciting time!

I ran so much that year that I needed to start a second running log to keep track of it all. I was hyper-focused on breaking four hours in the marathon. However, I did even worse in my second Akron Marathon than the year before, finishing in 4:30. I was confident in my training that I decided to run the Towpath Marathon two weeks later, where I set a new personal record at 4:22, but I was still well short of my goal.

Although I didn't achieve my marathon aspiration that year, I set six new PRs and was able to break 1:50 at the Buckeye Half Marathon. However, the four-hour marathon would elude me for two more years.

The four-hour barrier

In 2009, I ran a little less, but I made massive progress toward reaching my ultimate marathon goal. I set a new PR and finished a little less than five minutes shy of breaking four hours at that year's Akron Marathon. I decided not to attempt another race that year, finishing the year with 970 miles and completing six races.

I ran even less in 2010, finishing with 831 miles and completing only three races. However, each one was a new PR. I ran my fastest ever 5K at 22:26, shaving three seconds off my previous best. I ran my fastest ever half marathon at 1:44:15, shaving four minutes off my previous best. And finally, after five attempts, I broke four hours at the Akron Marathon, finishing in 3:58:46.

It felt like such a big accomplishment. However, the idea of trying to top that was just too daunting. I know guys who easily qualified for the Boston Marathon. I would have had to shave another hour and change off my personal best. Instead, I sought other challenges.

The barefoot craze

Christopher MacDougall released Born to Run: A Hidden Tribe, Superathletes, and the Greatest Race the World Has Never Seen in 2009. The book chronicled the Tarahumara tribe in Mexico’s Copper Canyon region, a community full of seemingly super-human runners who traverse hundreds of miles on bare feet or wearing thin huarache sandals. MacDougall touted barefoot running as a kind cure-all for running injuries, and the story was so compelling that I decided to give it a try in 2010.

My first barefoot run in October of that year was a little less than two miles, but I could immediately feel the impact on my calves and feet. Over the years, I incorporated barefoot running into my training and started to seek out minimalist running shoes that would give me a similar feel as going shoeless.

Racing flats became my first foray into thin, flat, flexible shoes. Vibram Five Fingers were the first to market a true barefoot-style shoe, with a thin rubber sole connected to a sock-like upper with individual toe sockets to allow full toe splay. I didn’t like how my toes felt in those goofy-ass things. Big names like Merrell and New Balance got into the game, with some decent offerings, my old Merrell Road Gloves being my favorite and still my highest mileage minimal shoe to date.

Through this blog, I started to get offers from nascent “barefoot running” shoe companies, including current market leaders Altra and Xero Shoes (formerly Invisible Shoes), to review their products. The early Altras were not great, and I quickly dismissed the two pairs I got to test (Adams and Samsons). Meanwhile, Xero Shoes started out specializing in huarache sandals, but the company eventually made the move to a more traditional shoe with the Prio. These became my new favorite running shoes, and the company continued to improve on its designs with each new model.

Although I haven’t gone for a true barefoot run in a few years, I still run exclusively in minimalist shoes. I have continued to support Xero Shoes, currently running in their HFS road shoe and the Mesa Trail II trail shoes. I like both models, but I recently decided to give Altra another try, purchasing the King MT 2 trail shoes, as my Xero trail shoes haven’t held up to the rigors of off-road running (or tripping over tree roots).

The marriage life

After finally achieving my sub-four-hour marathon in 2010, my running life started to change. The following year, I got married. The morning after my bachelor party, I ran the Buckeye Half Marathon again, and then the 2011 Akron Marathon was a couple weeks after our wedding. It took me almost an hour longer to finish than the year before. It would be my last full marathon.

In 2012, my wife and I put together a relay team for the Akron Marathon, and I completed my leg of the race barefoot. It was my first and only barefoot race. My overall mileage continued to drop from the height of 2008, with 532 miles in 2011 and 376 miles in 2012. Those totals would continue to fall over the next several years as I transitioned into a new phase of life and subsequently a different kind of runner. The 2012 Akron Marathon would be my last race for nine years.

The trail runner

While 2012 marked the end of my time as a marathoner, it marked my transition to primarily being a trail runner. In March of that year, I completed my first trail race, a 10K at the Oak Hill trailhead in Peninsula, Ohio. I had done some trail running during the previous few years, but I didn't get my first trail shoes until 2011, with the New Balance MT101, a precursor to the company's Minimus lineup.

After spending so much time running the roads around Akron and on the Towpath Trail, it was a treat to explore all the rugged hiking trails throughout the Cuyahoga Valley National Park, including the Buckeye Trail, the Valley Bridle Trail, Wetmore, Langes and others. Even my homebase of Sand Run had good hiking trails in addition to the multipurpose trail I had been running on for years.

I almost exclusively run on trails now. I still use the Towpath and Sand Run’s main path, but I avoid pavement unless I’m competing in a race.

I'm looking forward to my new trail shoes, as the last few pairs I've had kept suffering tears at the toe box. However, my shoe repair skills have greatly improved over the years. Take a closer look at the red shoes in the photo above. My current trail shoes look like something out of Frankenstein, but they get the job done. I'm hoping my new ones hold up better to my constant tripping on tree roots. I'm still waiting for them to ship.

The parenthood life

My son was born in September 2013, and that was the last time I would run more than 100 miles in a year until 2021. My mileage dropped from 129 to 20 in 2014, increased the next three years to 44, 72 and 93, and then dropped back down to 40, bottoming out at 15 miles in 2019, and then rising back to 40 miles in 2020, the year of the COVID-19 pandemic.

Being a new parent was all-consuming, especially since my son was born a month premature. Excusing myself for a run was a guilt-inducing experience, even though my wife never expressed any sort of displeasure. I just felt selfish for taking time for myself. My lack of running led me to announce the official end of this blog, although I've checked back in a couple times over the years.

The return to racing

The pandemic helped spur me back to running. My son was older and didn’t need quite so much attention. Being isolated from people and having to stay home all the time was difficult, and running became a much-needed escape.

While I didn’t run with Martini anymore, as he has gone on to train for increasingly longer races, including 100-mile ultramarathons, parenthood had brought me new running friends in the form of, G & E, the parents of one of my son’s schoolmates. In June 2021, they encouraged me to enter an 8K race as part of the new Akron Marathon Race Series. It was my first race in nine years. I ran with G the whole way, and we finished with a 13:50 pace. I had never run that distance before, so it was a PR.

That gave me the itch to race again.

Two months later, I entered the 10K as part of the same race series. However, I had injured my foot during training, having I stepped awkwardly on a tree root. (Damn those roots!) It was my first running injury in a decade, and I wasn't fully healed by race day. I ended up reinjuring my foot, suffering a pretty bad sprain that knocked me out of commission for a several weeks. Even so, I ran 226 miles that year, the most I had run since 2012, running in every month but December.

The Burning River 100

The next year brought more new running adventures. I more than doubled my mileage in 2022, as G & E wanted me to join their eight-person relay team for the Burning River 100, which was the original inspiration for the aforementioned Summer Solstice Challenge. It was cool to finally be a part of this epic race, and I enjoyed following a high-mileage training plan again.

My section was just under 14 miles, from the Valley Picnic area, across the Towpath, to the Valley Bridle Trail, Langes Run, Wetmore, Salt Run and ending at Virginia Kendall. It was a great experience. Burning River was my longest race since 2011 and my longest trail race ever.

A couple months later, I also ran the Home Run for the Homeless for the first time ever that fall. Even though the race starts about a mile from my house, I had never run it before because of Thanksgiving plans.

My mileage dropped down to 160 in 2023, and I didn’t compete in any races that year. I increased my mileage to 200 in 2024 and ran in two 5Ks, with one organized by a conference I attended for work in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and the other being the RoadRokr 5K to support my son’s school. That was the one with my favorite race photo ever.

The Bigfoot 10

In 2025, my mileage increased for the third straight year to 375. We traveled to Greece that summer, and I ran only a couple times while I was there. But I came home and ran the RoadRokr 5K again on very little training, and then I decided I wanted to train for a longer race again, picking the Bigfoot 10-mile trail race at Salt Fork State Park in December last year.

My training plan was pretty solid, although I probably ran too many miles on flat terrain as I was trying to increase my mileage to double digits without straining my body too much. I ran the Home Run for the Homeless again just 10 days before the Bigfoot 10, linking up to run with Martini for the first time in years. By that point I was tapering for the big race, and I was feeling good physically but a little nervous about the trail conditions with expectations for snow, ice and mud.

The Bigfoot race is a two-day, multi-distance event, held on the first weekend in December, with a 50K, 20-miler and 10-miler on Saturday, and then a second, more hiker-friendly 10-miler on Sunday. I chose the Sunday race, which maybe wasn't the smartest decision. By the time I got to the starting line, the trails were in pretty rough shape from Saturday's racers, although the mud was not as bad as I was told past years have been. Leading up the race, the trails closer to home had been covered in snow and ice, but luckily that wasn't a problem at Salt Fork. It was just the mud.

Overall, it was a great race, and I would consider staying overnight at the park lodge if I were to run the race again (which I might). The event rekindled my interest in racing more, and I’m hoping to train for some longer races again in the near future.

The 20th anniversary

And so, here I am, celebrating my 20th anniversary as a runner. By the end of this month, I will have logged 7,000 miles lifetime, and I'll be running my 40th race later this year.

Sometimes I think back to my marathoning days and wonder how I found the time to run so much. Life changes, and you change with it.

I used to put a lot of focus on time, and then I'd get down on myself for not achieving my goals. The Bigfoot 10 was the first time I trained hard for a race without being worried about my finish time. I had a loose goal, which turned out to be realistic. But time wasn’t my focus. Instead I focused on enjoying the community of runners. I ran about half the race with a woman, whom I helped up after a fall. We parted ways at an aid station where she met up with her family. At the finish line, my legs were cramping and forcing me to walk, but another runner who was right next to me at starting line encouraged me to finish strong.

"Success rests in having the courage and endurance and, above all, the will to become the person you are, however peculiar that may be. Then you will be able to say, 'I have found my hero and he is me.'" -- George Sheehan

Success is not a time, it’s a state of mind. I was never very fast, and I’ll likely never be as fast as I was. I’m a solid mid-pack runner, who prides himself on perseverance not speed. While it’s impossible to avoid aiming for a time goal, I refuse to base my enjoyment on running faster than anyone else. I'm only racing the ghost of my past self (and perhaps the couple of people ahead of me in the last quarter mile of a race).

As I enter my third decade of running, I want to focus on being a kind runner. Still grumpy, but kind. Even though I don’t like to talk while I’m out there, it doesn’t mean I can’t be encouraging to others and help that fallen comrade get to the finish line. I want to be that runner who gives that much-needed boost at a difficult time.

A new first ... well, actually, third

UPDATED March 23, 2026: After 20 years, I finally made the podium in a race. On Saturday, March 21, I ran the Lucky Leaping Leprechaun 5K in Canal Fulton, Ohio. I finished in 28:30, a solid six minutes slower than my fastest 5K, and yet it was fast enough to win third place in my age group. It was a flat course, taking place on the southern portion of the Ohio & Erie Canal Towpath Trail. I started near the back, and steadily picked off runners along the way. The crowded field and narrow path made for a slow first mile at 10:32, but I ran sub-9s the rest of the way. I passed some punk pre-teen right around the third mile marker, and scored a victory for middle-aged runners everywhere.

* * *

Post script: I know most of my runblogger friends have moved on to other things, but I just wanted to get this little celebratory post out into the world. This blog was a big part of my early days as a runner, and having this virtual community was instrumental in my continued development over the years. If any of you are still out there, thank you for your support. You can find me on Instagram, where I post about records, comics, beer and occasionally running.

Best. Race. Photo. Ever.

2024-08-19T13:21:00.005-04:00

Look, I know nobody is out there anymore, but I just had to share this somewhere. I've been running for 18 years, I'm slower than ever, I just entered the 45-49 age group, I'm dealing with poison ivy on both ankles, I took 10 days off before my two "training" runs prior to race day — clearly, I'm not at peak Viper condition — but still, this is the greatest race photo I've ever had. Just look at that guy's face after he sees I've passed him at the finish line.

And just so you don't think I'm only here to race shame some poor stranger, you should know he got the last laugh. He must have started way behind me, because his chip time was still faster than mine by 17 seconds. He had just passed me right before the final turn, and that made me mad. No matter how slow I get, I can't quell my competitive urges during a race. I kept the puke threshold at bay. I beat him to the timing mat. My celebration beer was Weihenstephaner Festbier. And hey, I guess this constitutes an age group PR, score!

If any of my runblogging friends are still out there, I wish you well. Hello and goodbye again!

Review: Xero Shoes Prio

2017-03-06T16:42:00.000-05:00

My first run of the year!

I've been a proponent of minimalist running footwear for the last eight years or so, and yet I had never found the perfect shoe that provided my ideal combination of a flat, flexible sole with excellent ground feel.

With the Prio, Xero Shoes has done it. This is what I've been waiting for all this time. The Prio have a zero-drop sole for a breathable active-wear shoe that can be rolled up like a chimichanga. The lacing is adjustable for a custom fit around the arch and heel. The toebox is extra wide to all those little digits to flex and move as if you were barefoot.

If you are familiar with Xero Shoes' sandals, I recommend sizing up a half to a full size to accommodate the enclosed toe (e.g., I wear an 11 in the Z-Trails and ordered a 12 for the Prio). In comparison to other manufacturers, I typically wear an 11.5 for running shoes. However, Xero Shoes has comprehensive sizing guide to get you the right fit.

In just a few days of constant wear, which included a run, I am already convinced these are THE shoe for runners interested in minimal footwear. The shoes arrived the day before I was set to leave for Houston on a business trip. I wore them non-stop, from running through airports, a short run around downtown and through a convention center expo hall. The Prios passed all tests with flying colors.

[Editor's note: Yeah, I'm just here for the free shoes. Xero Shoes provided the shoes, and I supplied my own opinion. I really am excited about these, though.]

Reflective lacing system!

Look good with jeans too.

Review: Umara Z-Trail by Xero Shoes

2016-03-20T09:00:00.000-04:00

The day I went for my first run since September last year I got an email from Steven Sashen. You may remember him from such memorable posts as “Almost Nearly Barefoot” and “Review: Invisible Shoes (aka Commercially Made Hippy Shoes).”

What? More hippy shoes?

You might also remember Sashen from his 2013 appearance on the reality TV show “Shark Tank” where he turned down a $400,000 investment offer for his company Xero Shoes and has since seen sales climb to an expected $3 million this year, according to a March 5 article by Forbes. That’s a far cry from the rubber and string huaraches I reviewed four and half years ago.

Sashen’s email was offering me a free pair of his latest sports sandal, the trail-friendly Umara Z-Trail. It was early February, and I had literally just come back from my first run in months. I was feeling that wonderful optimism you get when make a plan and actually stick to it.

I had pledged to start running again. I was going to start slow. Just once a week. Every Sunday. I can do that. (Spoiler alert: I haven’t done that.) I was feeling positive in that moment, but still I waited a day to respond. Did I really have it in me to follow through on a product review? Did I really want to reboot the blog? Then I saw Barefoot Josh showing off his Z-Trails on Facebook, and I figured sometimes you just have to say what the fuck. The next day I fired off a reply to Sashen with my shoe size and waited for my package to arrive.

My first encounter with the company that became Xero Shoes goes back almost exactly six years when I made those homemade hippy shoes using some industrial rubber sheeting and instructions from Sashen’s website. About a year and a half later he contacted me to review the commercially made version of his huaraches.

Both of my prior experiences were good, but the resulting footwear turned out to be nothing more than novelties in my running life. I wore them a few times, but put them away in a drawer. These Z-Trails are different.

Unlike its rubber and string predecessors, these sandals have traditional straps like you would find on brands like Teva or Chaco. I had a pair of Tevas a decade ago that were the most comfortable sandals I ever owned, but I never replaced them after the plastic clasp broke.

Working hard for the money: Z-Trails at home.

The Z-Trails are far more comfortable than those Tevas, and there’s no plastic clasp to break. Furthermore, and Sashen has a video demonstrating this, the Z-Trails are three times lighter than a pair of those popular brands. This is good for running but also for just hanging around the house with your feet up. The sandals never feel like they’re dragging your feet down. From the moment I slipped them on, they felt good.

As you might expect from a running sandal, sizing is very important. Xero Shoes has traditional sizes, but the company encourages you to actually measure the length of your foot to get the best possible fit. If you’re between sizes, they recommend you go up a size and then trim the soles if needed. An adjustable crisscross strap holds the shoe to your foot, and a Velcro strap goes across your heal. The fit is secure and customizable.

My first real test of the Z-Trails was just hanging around the house and taking my son for a walk (and sometimes run) around the neighborhood. Just normal, everyday stuff.

Gravel? What gravel. Plenty of protection here.

While out for a walk, I ran around some. Obviously nothing extensive, but enough to get a sense of how they felt. The biggest thing I noticed was no flop. My past experiences running in sandals have been plagued by the incessant clack-clack-clack-clack of the soles flopping against the ground. Not so with the Z-Trails. Major plus.

Back in the house, I also ran up and down my staircase to get the sensation of running uphill or over obstacles. If you’ve ever caught your toe on a log, you understand how happy I was when I didn’t trip running on stairs. This was a serious problem with the Invisible Shoes and my homemade hippy shoes. The toe area stayed flat when I lifted my toes to step over something and had a tendency to catch on whatever I was trying to avoid. With the Z-Trails, the strap ensures the rubber sole flexes with your foot and lifts along with your toes as you run.

The Actual Run
It's been a mild winter in Northeast Ohio, so I wasn't really thinking about snow when I said yes to reviewing a pair of running sandals. After replying to Sashen's email, I flew to Houston and ran in seventy-degree sunshine. Of course, when I got back it was the coldest day of winter and my car was covered in snow. The Z-Trails arrived March 1. Snow still blanketed the ground. A test run would have to wait.

Finally, my chance came last week with temperatures in the sixties and sun. The ground is bit soggy as things are starting to thaw.

My route started at the Ohio & Erie Canal Towpath Big Bend trailhead, but I split off onto the Valley Link and Schumacher trails to test the Z-Trails on more technical terrain. Throughout the run, I encountered asphalt, crushed limestone and dirt surfaces and plenty of steep hills, roots and rocks to not trip over.

Trudging up the Schumacher trail at the pace of a snail.

This is how out of shape I am. I ran less than two miles in about twenty-six minutes and felt BEAT. Everywhere but my feet. Right before the trail rises two hundred feet in a quarter mile where my pace would plummet from a blistering sub-nine-minute mile to a snail-like sixteen-minute-mile, I even tried make a video to be like those hip young bloggers. Mrs. Viper said my heavy breathing sounded too creepy to post. Even though I was a wreck, the Z-Trails performed great.

The sandals were comfortable. I didn't trip despite my running toward roots, rocks and other rubble. The only time I heard a flop was at the bottom of steep hill when I was trying to slow down.

My only concern was the left sandal was a bit tight over my little toe. I was worried I'd have a blister the next day, but nary a skin abrasion was found. Even so it's easy to adjust the tightness to avoid this problem next time.

The verdict is the Z-Trails are the best running sandals I've ever worn. They make me want to run trails again. If I can't manage to get off my ass and run more this year, I will definitely wear them around during Ohio’s all too brief sandal season.

So here are your takeaways:

Very comfortable everyday sandal
No flop when running
No toe catch when running up hills or stairs or other obstacles

Umara Z-Trails are available online at xeroshoes.com for $79.99. The sandals feature a 10-millimeter thick sole with three choices of strap color: black, mocha (I don't know) and red. Also available in women's sizes.

[Caveat emptor: As mentioned above, Steven Sashen provided a free pair of Umara Z-Trails in exchange for this review, but the opinions are my own. I swear. OK now back to semi-retirement. Thanks for reading.]

Flashback Friday: I'M BACK (No I'm Not)

2016-03-18T09:00:00.000-04:00

What? Where am I? What year is this? Who has awoken me from my peaceful cryogenic sleep? Someone get me a fucking drink.

Hello, my name is Viper. It has been two years, two months and a day since my last post. Let's first dispel the idea that I'm returning. No. I am not. But let me tell you something, there will be one more post after this one. And it's going to be a crummy commercial.

I guess it's fitting that this post arrives while you're all recovering from your St. Patrick's Day hangovers. While you had kegs and eggs, I ate a green cookie for breakfast on my way to work.

This post is just to see if anyone still remembers me. You see, I still run another blog that you wouldn't stop midway through your routine three-miler to deposit two shits into that nasty portable toilet along the side of the running path to acknowledge the existence of this said other blog. Yet every time I log into the Blogger dashboard, two things bother me.

One is that my total posts to the Booze Hounds Inc. Running Team sits at 1,098. Two entries shy of a nice round 1,100. Make that ONE shy, now.

Second, you idiots still visit this long dormant site. As of this writing, there were 414 pageviews here last month. Dude, did you not realize it's been like 789 days since I last wrote anything about running or drinking? Come on! You're better than this.

There are other bloggers out there still producing what I assume is quality content. I wouldn't know because contrary to what I promised in my last post and because as you would totally expect I have not been keeping up with any of my old running blogger comrades. But still, just take a look at the handy list of overrated bloggers I've compiled down and to the right of the page. Those people just wrote something. I have not, except for this. And one other thing coming soon. But that's it. Find your blogging content elsewhere.

What's coming soon is an obligatory review of a product I just got for free because my clout as a blogger is still way bigger than yours even when I haven't written jackshit in forever. The last time I ran it was to catch up to my two-year-old during a walk around the block (testing said product in the process). Yeah, remember when the Viper family had a baby? He's a crazy toddler now. Time flies and makes you feel old as shit.

The only time I ever go for a proper run is when I have to travel for work. I thought things were really turning around last month when I managed three runs (two of which were when I was in Houston for a conference) and logged eight whole miles. I even started up a 2016 running log to track all my stats. I was averaging a tepid 12:37 per mile. I thought this is it. I'm back.

Yeah. No. Haven't run since February 11. Maybe I'll run more now that time has sprung ahead and there's more daylight after I get off work. You should probably hold your breath until that happens. Ready? Go!

Flashback Friday: Final Flashback

2014-01-17T08:00:00.000-05:00

If this post was the Alpha, then the one you're reading now is the Omega.

It's been seven years that I've been writing as your fearless leader of the Booze Hounds Inc. Running Team, and a lot has changed in that time. From hungover race reports to sprawling epics of virtual events, from blogger duels to terrible haikus, and from slaying my white whale to marriage-adjusted PRs — you've followed me through my drunken bachelor days, to marrying the love of my life and finally to becoming a dad.

There just isn't anything else to say, and so I'm following the path that others have blazed before me. I'm joining the ranks of Ian, Razz, Sun Runner, Xenia, Barefoot Josh and sometimes Nitmos in the great blogging hereafter before my posts succumb to further obnoxiousness.

Like all of my forebloggers, this site will not be taken down in its dormancy. I'll still read those bloggers I've been following for years, as I can't deny the draw of the online running community we've created. Perhaps, I'll post again when I have something interesting to say.

I believe this leaves Jess as the lone blogger whose site I followed from the beginning and who is still active. Her streak remains unparalleled.

There are several reasons why I made the decision to go on an indefinite hiatus. I'm no longer the booze hound I once was, nor am I the runner I once was. My priorities have changed such that the things in my life that I would normally share in this space are no longer commonplace enough to warrant the level of navel-gazing that a good blog requires. My posts have lacked the excitement and humor that make for an enjoyable writing experience, and by extension a good read for you. My focus just isn't here anymore.

This isn't goodbye so much as it's an announcement of my semi-retirement. Thank you all for reading about my adventures over the years, and for lending your support and derision in equal measure. Good luck in all that you do. Happy Hour is approaching. Remember, alcohol reduces pain and increases confidence. Run well and drink well. Cheers, forever more!

Cold, Sickness Recalibration

2014-01-13T11:15:00.000-05:00

The hardest workout during last week's freezing and coughing spell turned out to be pushing my car for about 15 feet. My goal of running twice went unfulfilled. No matter, I'll try to run twice this week.

This morning, I got up early enough to complete my body-weight exercise routine (pull-ups, push-ups, squats, walking lunges and planks). I felt a bit lightheaded in the middle of it. I think I was dehydrated. I took a break to drink some cold water and felt better.

This week, Mrs. Viper's work schedule may require me to run in the morning, my least favorite time. Hopefully, getting up earlier today will help me do so tomorrow or Wednesday for a run.

This is the new me, trying not to beat myself up over not running when I say I want to. Finding time to exercise remains the biggest challenge as a new parent.

This year, I hope to learn to better manage my time so I can take care of my responsibilities and still have time for the things I want to do, like running, playing music and reading.

Flashback Friday: Cold Deal

2014-01-10T10:18:00.000-05:00

Amid historic cold weather, the Viper Lair has been beset by a cold virus. Baby's first cold has been a difficult ordeal. The last two nights, he has woken up several times during the night. Mrs. Viper has been a saint, sacrificing her own sleep to take care of him. It doesn't help that we've both been fighting off our own nagging symptoms for more than a week. Add some car trouble to the mix, and it has not been a fine time this week.

But today it's warming up. Hit the reset button. There are better days ahead.

My goal this week is still two runs. It's already Friday, and have so far completed zero runs. With a sick baby and a tired wife at home, it's going to be tough justifying a run today. Sometimes you have to be OK with failure. But who knows, maybe I'll surprise you.

Back Talk
Wherein the movie is not the book

Miss Zippy chimes in at our recent book club meeting: "Huge Coen Brothers fan…can't wait to see the movie. And haven't read the book, so that will help, b/c you're right--movies never live up to the books."

Answer: Just to be clear, Inside Llewyn Davis is not meant to be the movie adaptation of The Mayor of MacDougal Street. Part of the book was used as inspiration, but otherwise it is an original Coen Brother's film. They said in an interview that it was also based on Homer's The Odyssey (as was O Brother, Where Art Thou?). As far as I know, No Country for Old Men is the only book adaptation they've done.

Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates! Enjoy the weekend. Run well and drink well. Cheers!

Boozy Book Club No. 16

2014-01-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

Just as expected, The Mayor of MacDougal Street, by Dave Van Ronk, was my 12th book of 2013, meeting my goal at the zero hour. Coincidentally, my local NPR station was giving away tickets to see a preview screening of Inside Llewyn Davis the week before Christmas, and I scored two seats for Mrs. Viper and I to have a rare date night.

The book was a fun read, and I recommend it to anyone interested in New York City during the 1960s or the folk revival period in general. However, it colored my viewing of the movie in a negative light. I came out of the theater feeling a bit disappointed, and I later realized it was because I was expecting it to be more like the book, which was a major mistake.

Although the Coen Brothers used certain anecdotes from Van Ronk's memoir, it was not a biopic nor an historical rendering. The movie was not about the era, but rather used it as a setting for a story about a downtrodden musician struggling to find meaning in his life after losing his partner. It's about coping with loss, letting go of the past, and trying to make a living as an artist.

After thinking more critically about it, I find myself more appreciative of the film. I only wish I could see it again in the theater, but it'll have to wait until it reaches the home video market.

The 2014 Reading List
Just as in the past few years, my goal for this year is once again to read one book per month. Right now, I'm reading a short story collection by the recent Nobel Prize winner Alice Munro, called Friend of My Youth, which has been in my collection for who knows how long.

You may know that I'm a recovering chronic book buyer. From the time I was in college until I became acquainted with debt, I'd go trawling discount and used book stores and library sales and buy stacks of books at a time.

I can't tell you how many books I own from this period that I still haven't read. This Munro book is one of those. I think it was purchased from a library in Chicago, when a friend and I went to visit his brother and attend the Chicago Comic Con, but I may have gotten it elsewhere.

I've never read any of Munro's work, and I've never seen this particular collection mentioned among her best, but I thought I'd read it since she just won the Nobel. So far, it's pretty good. I'm only on the second story. The book sits atop a shelf in our upstairs bathroom, so that probably tells you A.) way too much and B.) how much effort I'm investing in reading right now. But it's winter, which is when my reading typically picks up steam.

From past experience *coughCivilWarReadingListcough* I know not to try to plan out a year's worth of reading. It's impossible to predict what kind of mood I might be in. I do know I want to read The Hard Way on Purpose, the new book by local author David Giffels (whose previous book I reviewed here), but beyond that I'll read whatever strikes my fancy this year. Any suggestions?

What are you reading this cold January? What do you have on your to-read list this year? Let me know in the comments!

New Workout: Frozen Car Lunges

2014-01-07T13:38:00.000-05:00

Are you interested in a workout that strengthens your legs, core and arms all in one shot? Of course you are! Here's what you do:

Live in Northeast Ohio during an historic cold snap, wherein a "polar vortex" brings minus 30 degrees windchill and prevents your car from starting while it is parked in a one-lane driveway and blocking your auxiliary vehicle.
Spend half the morning trying to get the dead car to start by making repeated trips outside to crank the starter to no avail.
Maneuver auxiliary vehicle, which will start right up no problem, into position to attempt to jump the dead battery. Again, this will fail.
Determine that you need a new battery, which now means you have to move the dead car out of the way of the auxiliary vehicle to get to the auto parts store.
Maneuver the auxiliary vehicle out of the way by parking in the backyard. Too bad that fence is there and you can't just drive through the yard to get to the road, right?
Ensure dead car is in neutral and begin lunging all your body weight against the rear of the dead car. Rock the dead car until you create enough inertia to roll the dead car forward. (Remember: Rock and Roll.)
Repeat previous step until dead car is out of the way of the auxiliary vehicle, allowing it to pull out of the one-lane driveway.
Cool down by installing new battery in subzero climate, which will require you to tracking down three different ratchet sets to make an extension shaft long enough to access the bolt that secures the battery to the engine block. No, no, don't worry. This will be fun. Really.

Just to keep things interesting, I warmed up before this new workout by completing a short strength workout that included pull-ups and push-ups.

The Snowy Start

2014-01-06T10:10:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't heard, wicked winter storms have been rolling through the Midwest and Northeast this past week. We got hit good Thursday. It was above freezing this weekend and raining last night before temperatures plummeted and the snow machine started up again. It's supposed to be bad this week. But at least I tallied my first run of the year.

Sunday's afternoon romp was both shorter and longer than intended. It was just shy of three miles and a couple minutes over a half hour. But, remember, we're not talking about goals in terms of time and distance, but rather racking up the participation points like a good beginner.

Right now, I'm just setting my watch timer for a 30-minute run, which tells you there was no negative split yesterday, and there probably won't be one for quite awhile. Unless I can find a local route that doesn't end on an uphill.

Despite fading near the end, it felt great to get back out there. My legs are only minimally sore today. It felt good to record those first numbers in this year's running log.

This week's goal: two runs. That may be tough with will chill warnings and negative temperatures forecast for the beginning of the week. I'll have to backload my miles to make it happen without suffering frostbite. Cheers!

Flashback Friday: Assuming the Beginner Mentality

2014-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year, readers, and welcome back from the holiday break. We're three days into 2014, and I still haven't run. I broke my long tradition of an annual New Year's Day run, but today I've been plotting my return to the scene.

It dawned on me yesterday that if I'm going to get back to running this year and return to the Akron Marathon, then I need to take a step back to make a leap forward from last year's sad state of running affairs. In short, I'm going to have to start from scratch and become a beginner again.

A couple months ago, when I thought I might actually run again in 2013, I was hashing out this grand training plan to get my fitness back and start building mileage early this Spring, all in the spirit of attacking an ambitious marathon goal.

But that was fucking stupid.

I haven't run in almost three months, and even then I was not in good shape. Instead of aiming for another sub-4:00:00 marathon, my goals should be: A.) get back out there, B.) stick to it, C.) finish the race, and then D.) keep running afterward. And so, there you have it. These are my goals for 2014. No numbers. No times. Just get the participation medal.

So, treat me like a beginner this year. I won't be talking about racking up some unattainable yearly mileage (1,000 miles) or crazy race goals (all the PRs, bitches!), but instead it's one step at a time for me. This week's objective: one run. It doesn't matter how far (3 miles) or how long it takes me (30 minutes). It only matters that I do it. Cheers!

Boozy Book Club No. 15

2013-12-18T10:04:00.000-05:00

As 'tis the season for "year in review" posts, it seemed like a good idea to review the books I read this year, but then I realized I already did that. As a reminder, these are the books I've finished so far:

Train Dreams, by Denis Johnson (finished 2/13/13)
Baseball in Blue in Gray, by George B. Kirsch (2/13/13)
Night of the Hunter, by Davis Grubb (3/2/13)
A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson (3/16/13)
Sunset Park, by Paul Auster (3/27/13)
Driving Mr. Albert, by Michael Paterniti (4/15/13)
Man in the High Castle, by Philip K. Dick (5/21/13)
Someone Could Get Hurt, by Drew Magary (6/10/13)
Tenth of December, by George Saunders (8/4/13)
Joyland, by Stephen King (8/14/13)
Cuckoo’s Calling, by ~~J.K. Rowling~~ Robert Galbraith (8/31/13)

Every year, I aim to read at least one book per month. As you can see, I'm coming up short. Back in August, it looked like I was going to crush my goal, but ever since Baby Viper arrived, I've started and abandoned several books, trying to finish my twelfth of the year. On Monday, I started what I hope will be that final book.

You may not know this, but I'm a bit of a Coen Brothers geek. Barton Fink is among my Top 5 all time favorite movies. O Brother, Where Art Thou? is partly responsible for my descent into old-time music. I own six of their 14 movies, and it would be more if I hadn't gotten rid of my VHS tapes when Mrs. Viper and I moved into the house. And so, with that lead-in, you shouldn't be surprised to learn I am excited to see Inside Llewyn Davis.

As such, I decided to pick up The Mayor of MacDougal Street, by Dave Van Ronk, the folksinger who purportedly inspired the character of Llewyn Davis. Van Ronk grew up in New York City, amid the folk music scene rooted in Washington Square. Old-time music was a major inspiration to those musicians, and it's an era that has always drawn my curiosity, even before I knew what old-time music was.

After 65 pages, I'm hooked. Van Ronk is a crack up, and his worldview sometimes reminds me of myself, particularly his adherence to a certain sense of authenticity in what "folk music" meant before it became popular music and his disdain for certain practitioners and imitators what "folk music" came to mean after the singer-songwriters co-opted the term.

I have a little less than two weeks left to finish Van Ronk's book to count it for this year. I'm off on vacation next week, so hopefully I'll have the time to read in between holiday doings and taking care of my son. Wish me luck!

What final books are reading this year? What was your favorite book of the year? Anything you're looking forward to reading in 2014?

2013: Might as Well End it Here

2013-12-16T12:06:00.001-05:00

It's the halfway mark of December, but it might as well be the end of the month and thus the end of the year, because that's how it feels. I'm done with 2013. Here is my take on the obligatory "year in review" post that everyone is doing now.

Don't get me wrong. This has been a momentous year, all except for when it comes to my running. While being fit and healthy is important to me, it just wasn't a top priority this past 12 months. And that's OK. There's always next year. But first, let's take a look back.

We have to start with my goals for 2013, which I didn't bother to announce until Oct. 11, exactly a month after my son was born. My goals were meager, but still mostly unattainable. They were:

Break ~~1,000 miles~~ ~~400 miles~~ 200 miles.
Weigh ~~170 pounds~~ ~~175 pounds~~ 180 pounds
~~Return to the Akron Marathon and run two trail races~~ Run a 5K this winter
Run barefoot 10 percent of this year's total mileage

Let's see how I fared!

You Take the Good
At 13, my barefoot mileage is actually more than 10 percent of this year's 129 miles. I should probably keep my not-running streak going to make sure I maintain this singular running achievement.

However, if you want the real good stuff, you have to look beyond the miles I ran in 2013, because babies be life changing. I ran three times after Baby Viper was born, and that was all in October. Instead, I've been focusing on being a dad, which is way cooler than slogging out a few miles a day.

Baby Viper has put on nearly 10 pounds since he came into the world a month early. He's smiling up a storm, and that wipes away any disappointment I may have in regard to other aspects of my life.

Mrs. Viper and I are adjusting well to life as a couple married with children. We're tired and sometimes cranky with each other, but I sense we're growing stronger and learning to better communicate our needs.

Although I haven't played as much music as I had hoped to this year, I've made great progress in learning to play the fiddle. Once I found I could play in the mornings and not wake up Mrs. Viper and not make my son cry in holy terror, I started to get into a good practice routine. There's still a long way to go, as old-time banjo and fiddle guru Dwight Diller says, "It takes 10 years just to start learning to play the fiddle."

Our holiday gift beer should be ready to taste on Tuesday, though I'll probably let it condition a little longer before testing to make sure recipients won't gag on their homemade Christmas gift.

Which brings me to our debt situation. We've paid off one credit card and 25 percent of another, taking us to more than 8 percent of our total since signing up at ReadyForZero. That's good progress in two months.

You Take the Bad
Unfortunately, the rest of my running and health related goals were a bust. I'm sitting at 129 miles for the year, well shy of my revised goal of 200. My weight continues to hover around 190 pounds, but this past month it's consistently been below that undesirable mark by two or three pounds, so hooray for movement toward that 180-pound goal line. As you are all well aware, I didn't run a single race this year, and it doesn't look like Mrs. Viper and I will get ourselves to a 5K this winter. Maybe the spring?

And There You Have the Facts of Life
OK, so I purposefully kept the bad parts of this review contained in one paragraph while lauding my non-running triumphs, but as Johnny Mercer says, you have to accentuate the positive. I know I'll get back to running eventually. I know things won't always be this hectic. Time won't always feel so crunched. Everything ebbs and flows.

The Tannenbaum Testament

2013-12-09T11:27:00.000-05:00

For a second I thought I was going to surpass the puke threshold. True, it had been a long while since I had felt this way, but one never forgets that sensation. You might be asking yourself, "Did he finally go on a run?"

No. We put up the Christmas tree.

Usually, Mrs. Viper helps me with some of the lifting, but with the baby along for his first tree hunting trek, she couldn't do much more than give direction. When we put the trunk into the stand, she steadied the tree while I tightened the screws. Otherwise, it was all on me.

We went to a new tree farm this year, Doc Miller's Christmas Trees at Happinest Farm in nearby Alliance, Ohio. It's a bare bones operation with great prices. They provide a saw and tree shaking, but that's about it. They'll help you tie your tree to your car roof, if needed, but you have to supply the rope, tarp and anything else you might need.

In the past, we've gone to places that bail your tree, tie it up for you and charge about twice as much. Bailed trees are a hell of a lot easier to transport and set up, but there's no room for such luxury in our new "world of no." We needed a cheaper venue, and Doc's is the place — and it's awesome.

We trekked "out to the Maple tree and turn[ed] left" to find the spruce trees and began sizing up the selection. It was chilly, so we made our choice quickly to make sure Baby Viper wasn't out in the cold too long. Even so, we got guff from my father-in-law about how red his cheeks were in the obligatory Facebook photo of baby's first Christmas tree adventure.

I worked up a good sweat, cutting the tree down, lugging it back to the pay shack and securing it to the roof of the car. Part one was complete. Part two was getting the tree inside and set up. And that's when I almost puked.

Getting the stump into the tree stand required me to hoist and hold the tree aloft for several long seconds until Mrs. Viper could successfully guide me in. (That sounds naughty.) She held the tree steady as I tightened the screws. When I stood back up, I felt lightheaded.

Damn, that's the feeling of being out of shape. "I need to start exercising again," I said. And so it was with that testament to my recent slothfulness assured that I decided to spend 10 minutes this morning working out. No, it's not much, but it was something. And that's all that matters.

Flashback Friday: Challenge Excepted

2013-12-06T14:07:00.000-05:00

Maybe my perception has been off. Perhaps instead of lamenting how few miles I've run this year, I should be rejoicing in the restful "off season" I've had. This. Whole. Year.

Do you want to feel rested? Do you want your muscles to stop feeling so tight? Do you want to avoid injury? Do you want to have more time to eat heartily? Then I have the running program for you!

Take me, for example. I haven't been hurt at all this year, unlike most of my fellow runners, and I've been able to maintain a substantial diet. Moreover, there's not a single tight muscle on my body! You too could feel this way! It's the American Way!

And that's precisely the reason why I'm not going to submit to the challenge recently posed by the ever competitive Xenia: "The last three years have been crap for running for me, but I've been making a comeback in the last few months ... which I've neglected to blog about. Huh. Anyway, we're both in the 120s for yearly mileage at the moment. My goal is to reach 150 for the year. Care to join me in this or are you too busy feeding your pie-hole?"

It's not my pie-hole I'm so busy feeding. It's my son's. Every three hours. He's on special "I was born too early" formula, and he's going through a case and a half every month. I've actually lost three pounds since Thanksgiving, so there!

My lack of running also sparked a few other clever ploys from you wise-ass commentators.

Jamoosh's two pronged approach:

A) Run a mile in December = 100% improvement
B) Call it a non-running streak!

Al's shoeless advice: "If you wore shoes to run, you could say the dog ate them." That reminds me: My barefoot mileage this year is still 10 percent of my total distance run. Achievement!

And then there's Jess. Super hilarious Jess. "Or...you could always take up RW's streak challenge to run every day up until Christmas! Some months are like that. I had a bummer of a November too and only logged 98 miles ... Geez, I'm sorry, but I can't even TRY to not be awesome." She closed her snide little comment with a smug little smiley face, which I deemed inappropriate for republication.

I'm probably not going to run 21 more miles this year to reach 150. And I'm certainly not running every day until Christmas. This is the off season. Try me again when we get to training camp.

Bottled Up

2013-12-03T12:38:00.000-05:00

Last night, the missus and I completed the final stage of brewing for our holiday gift ale. I wanted to bottle the beer on Sunday, but at the last moment realized I was about 20 bottles short. What a rookie mistake!

This having been only our second batch of beer since I purchased the two-stage kit back in 2010, we might as well have been first-timers. Here, I thought I had saved and stockpiled enough bottles from that tasty "Patient Zero" porter.

Immediately upon learning of my gaffe, I sent out a desperate plea for empties to my Facebook friends. The first responders had nothing. The next day, Mrs. Viper started calling local bars to see if they had any bottles to spare. To our surprise, one bartender was quite willing to set aside that day's haul, but she said there was no way they'd have the amount we needed on a Monday. Finally, one of my banjo-playing brethren sent me a direct message saying he could help. Score!

I spent the night washing and sanitizing my cache of brown and green bottles. I had about a dozen that were recently debeered, so I had the extra enjoyment of scraping off labels. Let me tell you something: If you're a homebrewer on the hunt for bottles with easy labels to peel off, seek out the offerings from Bell's Brewery. On a recent beer-buying rampage, my lovely wife picked up three six-packs of seasonal brew, one of which being Bell's Java Stout. Compared to other brands, Bell's labels peel right off with just a bit of warm water. It's like they care about their homebrewing customers.

All told, we have seven six-packs and two magnum-sized bottles for our gift-giving list. The brew will be ready to drink just after Christmas. From what we tasted last night, it should be pretty good. By my calculations, the beer will be about 7 percent ABV, but it doesn't taste like it. Hopefully, there will be a few extras to keep Chez Viper stocked for at least a little while.

Goose Egg

2013-12-02T11:08:00.000-05:00

Shit! Who let November slip by without a run? Oh, that's right. I did.

Fitness and I are on the outs. It's a sad state of affairs. Oh, sure, there were a few walks for a total of 18 miles, but nothing since Nov. 18. (Hey, 18 and 18 — symmetry!)

Behold! I am Sloth Man. See me just sit here, actually.

On the plus side, I managed to play my fiddle more in November than I had in any month since April. But of course, if you cared about that, you'd be reading my other blog.

It seems pointless to list these stats, but in the name of full disclosure and maybe to self-shame, here is last month's statistical rundown:

Total Miles: 0 miles (0 runs)
Total Time: 0 hours
Highest Weekly: 0 miles
Average Weekly: 0 miles
Average Pace: 00:00/mile
The Monthly Dif: -11 (11 miles in October)

BONUS STATS!

Walking: 18.01 miles (9 walks)

So, maybe I'll run in December. Possibly? Maybe not. Maybe it's time to just call it: My 2013 running season is over. Good riddance, right? The good news is now I can get started on my obligatory "year in review" post!

Flashback Friday: A World of No

2013-11-22T09:00:00.000-05:00

It's going to be a homebrewed Christmas.

This is how we spent our Sunday. What you see is the beginning stages of the best chemistry experiment I know of, boiling the wort for a holiday ale.

It's hard to believe it's been three years since the last time we brewed a batch of beer, but life has been a bit busy since then. There was marriage, buying our first house, having a kid, etc.

On that most recent life event, becoming a dad has been awesome. Every day I'm amazed at the new life in my life. He has enriched our lives in weighs we can't even quantify. But there's a catch.

As new parents, we find ourselves living in a world of nos. There's no time, no sleep, no energy, no exercise and no money. Yes, Baby Viper has changed everything, as "they" said he would.

It's been so long since my last run, there's no point in even counting. It has gotten to the point where I've considered abandoning this blog and starting a parenting blog, because there aren't enough of those. If I also started a food blog, I could complete the trifecta of most abundant blog categories.

The reality is, I don't have the energy to start up a new blog and try to get you guys to switch over. This one will have to do. It would be different if I were making money from this little hobby. (Oops.)

The lack of money is why we found ourselves brewing beer last weekend.

Even before Baby Viper was born, Mrs. Viper and I were doing our best to save money and pay down the debt we amassed in our more reckless days. Living on the cheap isn't all that new to us, but having a baby in the house has compounded our financial circumstances.

As our son spent nine days in the NICU, parenthood has come with an unexpected deluge of new medical bills to pay on top of the added expense of having another mouth to feed, another body to clothe and another doctor to visit. We are lucky that our family has been able to help us, but still the budget is tighter than ever.

I keep reminding myself that it won't always be like this. It takes a lot of work and patience to pay off debt. We're using ReadyForZero to help us stay on track with our financial goals. According to our plan, we'll pay off all of our credit cards by the end of 2017. We've already paid off one account since signing up in October. It feels good, but we've had to say no to a lot of temptations.

We've had to cut back on most of our entertainment spending. Dining out is down to a minimum. Personal spending is virtually nil. We pay our bills and have just enough for food and gasoline. Christmas is going to be tough.

That's why we decided to make this year a homemade affair. Everybody gets a photo of the baby and something we made. I'm not crafty like my wife, but I have the tools to make beer. Our holiday ale is fermenting as we speak. I'm still not sure what we'll do for our nieces, nephews and younger cousins.

Not being able to spend money has reinforced one of the reasons why running became my exercise of choice. If you don't get caught up in buying all the fancy gear, it's one of the cheapest ways to stay fit. Add in body-weight exercises like push-ups and pull-ups, and I could be super healthy -- you know, if I actually did those things.

Sadly, exercise has fallen by the wayside for both Mrs. Viper and me. She has a YMCA membership that has languished since before the baby arrived. I haven't run in more than a month. I haven't even been walking much since the weather took a frigid turn this past week.

You'd think living cheap would help us lose weight. If we don't buy as much food, we can't eat as much, right? That hasn't been the case for me. Every morning it's the same. My weight stays around 190 pounds, which is 10 to 15 pounds heavier than I'd prefer.

As the holidays approach, the temptation to eat poorly will only increase. We'll have to find more willpower to keep saying no. Saying no is no fun, but it can be rewarding in the long run.

Flashback Friday: Late Edition

2013-11-08T15:47:00.001-05:00

Today's lunchtime walk included spurts of running, three of them, in fact. This is going to hurt tomorrow, isn't it? Having not run since who knows when, my legs aren't used to anything more strenuous than a brisk stroll. Running became necessary when I had passed the point of no return and was in danger of returning to work much later than allowed.

Typically, my walking pace is a little more than 3 mph. There I was, on a three-mile route with only 45 minutes to spare. It seemed like I was making great time when I had gotten to a mile in about 17 minutes, so I decided to extend my walk. After 10 more minutes, I knew I had made a mistake and started running, SLOWLY.

Luckily, I had decided to wear my Merrell Road Gloves to work today, but jeans, a hoodie and light coat don't make for great running gear. After my third running surge, I was starting to sweat through my undershirt, which made me itchy, which made me want to claw my chest off. I took off my coat and let the cool autumn air cool me down.

All told, it couldn't have been more than three-quarters of a mile that I ran, but it was enough to get the heart going and probably enough to make me sore tomorrow because that's what happens when you decide to run after not doing so for, what, like a month or more? TGIF, I guess.

In the middle of all that, I thought about trying out the running stroller this weekend. With the chilly winds, though, I'm worried I'll give Baby Viper frostbite. So, fellow parents with cold-weather knowledge, how should I dress my kid for riding in the stroller in low temperatures? Drop your knowledge in the comments.

Happy Hour is nearly upon us, teammates! Run well and drink well. Cheers!

Silent But Deadly

2013-11-04T14:15:00.001-05:00

It's just like me to proclaim some big goal and then fall into the abyss. Getting back into a regular running routine has been harder than anticipated. October started out well, but then everything stopped after the 15th.

The urge to run has been strong lately, but not strong enough to overcome my desire to play the fiddle in the wee hours. There's just so little time to devote to my personal interests, and old-time music wins out.

I'm still walking most workdays during my lunch break, so at least I'm getting some amount of exercise these days. My weight has remained constant at about 190 pounds, a non-ideal number that continues to haunt me.

It's November now, and that means the Daylight Savings Time is over, and it's getting dark as you read this. If I'm going to get a run in anytime in the next few months, it's going to be in the lowlight.

The good news is that Baby Viper will soon be big enough for the running stroller. If the temperature doesn't get too cold, perhaps we'll be able to run together.

Here is last month's statistical rundown:

Total Miles: 11 miles (3 runs)
Total Time: 2.08 hours
Highest Weekly: 4 miles
Average Weekly: 2.75 miles
Average Pace: 11:12/mile
The Monthly Dif: +8 (3 miles in September)

BONUS STATS!

Walking: 32.92 miles (19 walks)

It's amazing how quickly the mileage adds up with just a few walks per week. My routes are between 1.5 and 2 miles on most days. If I eat lunch earlier, I can get in 3 miles. I wonder how long before the cold starts to impeded my motivation.

Well, that's that, folks! It's been a busy few weeks, which is why it's been silent around here. Hope your lives are in tip-top shape. Cheers!

Not Too Early

2013-10-16T14:37:00.000-04:00

The idea is to return to the Akron Marathon in 2014. After seeing Jamoosh's post about planning a year ahead, copying him seemed like an unlikely good idea. Before I knew it, I was crafting the framework for a training plan for next year that starts now.

With a new baby at home, my focus for these remaining months of 2013 is running at least twice a week to get my legs back into some kind of groove. I'm also going to try harder to lose some of this sympathy weight. As Mrs. Viper tries to shed her own pregnancy weight gain, she has started tracking her calories, and so I'm copying her too.

By mid-November I'm hoping Baby Viper will be sturdy enough to try running with him in the stroller. Maybe by that time, we'll have decided on whether we'll enter a winter race.

Next year's plan shepherds me through winter with minimal mileage, but then begins to get more intense with slow and methodical base building in the spring, and finally concludes with an 18-week marathon training regimen that begins in the summer.

My goal is another sub-four marathon finish. Considering how little I've run these past two years and how slow my recent runs have been, my goal may be a bit ambitious. Looking at training paces, such as those found at the always unreliable McMillan Running Calculator, my easy runs should average between nine and 10 minutes per mile. That would require me to shave up to a minute and a half from my current pacing. No sweat!

Thankfully, I've never put too much stock into such rigorous calculations. Besides, even if you do it all right, the marathon can still kick you in the ass. Right, Josh?

If nothing else, it feels good to think about running with purpose again. I don't want to be stuck on the sidelines next year.

The Curse of Convenience

2013-10-14T15:59:00.001-04:00

The whole time the Little Debbie Swiss Cake Roll made its way to my mouth, my mind was screaming, "No, don't do it. Don't eat this." Nomnomnomnomnom.

What could I do? It was there. And, might I add, it was the second package I'd eaten today.

Ever since Baby Viper arrived on scene, our lair has been junked up with malnutricious convenience food. Fast food, pizza, take out, hot dogs, snacks, candy, microwaveable meals, etc., etc., etc., all are high in ... everything bad. We know we should be eating healthier, but it's so much easier to grab something on the way home or call for delivery. It's a curse, a vicious cycle of "What do you want for dinner? I don't know. Let's just ..."

And then we eat like crap.

Neither of us wants to cook. We have healthy options in the house, but we're too tired to plan ahead. We forget to take out frozen meat to defrost. We don't think about our meals until we're on the verge of acting out The Hunger Games.

How do you shatter the pattern?

Mrs. Viper and I want to eat better and lose some pregnancy-induced weight gain, but it's hard to find the energy to make better choices about our diet.

Flashback Friday: Slow Not as Slow

2013-10-11T10:51:00.000-04:00

There I was, feeling all "Eye of the Tiger," reveling in the thrill of the fight, in perfect rhythm, exacting some revenge, cruising toward home along Portage Path, when I looked at my running app to see an 11:55 mile pace. I hadn't even taken any walk breaks this time, and I was slower?

Chalk it up to morning mental fogginess. The final score was an 11:01 pace. Still a slowpoke, but faster than the 11:30 miles I logged on Sunday. Progress!

And then I almost got hit by a car.

Two doors down from our house, I had to come to a quick stop as my neighbor backed out of the driveway, which has some foliage that obstructed the view for both parties. I stopped, the car stopped. It was dark, so I couldn't see the driver well, but I thought I had the all clear to cross behind the car. As I was at the passenger side corner, the car lurched into gear and almost snapped my left femur like a twig.

Let's pause for a safety meeting: Communication and visibility are your No. 1 tools for avoiding vehicular manslaughter. While I was decked out in my hunter's neon yellow cap, bright orange shirt and reflective vest (not to mention my pasty white skin), I probably should have worn my headlamp for extra visibility. My communication with the driver was also lacking. I couldn't see inside the car to make eye contact or give/receive a visual cue. Instead, I should have just waited for the driver to proceed. THE MORE YOU KNOW, PEOPLE!

It may sound ridiculous, but I've readjusted my yearly goal to crack 200 miles, which will be my lowest annual total since I began running in 2006. You know, because babies, am I right?

It's a meager goal, but it seems doable, which is the point. I think I can manage about 7 miles a week for the rest of the year. Maybe I'll even surprise myself, but let's not get our hopes up, OK?

After looking back through this year's posts, I don't think I even announced any goals for the year. Maybe because I knew from the get-go this would be a challenging year to accomplish such things. I did set some goals and marked them down in my running log. This is actually the second revision:

My yearly goal for total mileage started at 1,000 miles, then went to 400 miles and now we're at 200.
I wanted to get my weight down to 170 pounds, then it was 175 and now I'm hoping for 180, but even that seems a bit far fetched right now.
My racing goals were to return to the Akron Marathon and run two trail races, and now Mrs. Viper and I are considering the possibility of running a 5K this winter, which may or may not be this calendar year, to get us both back on the health and fitness train.
I also wanted to maintain that 10 percent barefoot goal from years past, which at 13 miles so far is still in play if we get some more warm fall days.

It's been a challenging year in terms of staying fit and active, but I'm focusing on the long view. There's always next year.

Boozy Book Club No. 14

2013-10-09T11:07:00.001-04:00

Don't be surprised, but I haven't been reading much in the last month (ahem). Since the last club meeting, two more books have crossed my eyes, but I haven't finished a book since the end of August. The good news is that I'm way ahead of my goal to read a book a month. I only need to read one more.

Most Recent Reads
The most recent books I've read were Stephen King's Joyland and Robert Galbraith's (aka J.K. Rowling) Cuckoo's Calling. When you think of mindless summer reads, these two fit the bill perfectly. Both were easy to read and at times engrossing. Neither really wowed me.

King provided a taut coming-of-age story with a sense of doom that never came to the kind of spooky climax I desired. Rowling/Galbraith displayed her talents for character and setting, but succumbed to private eye tropes in the end for a disappointing denouement.

A Look Back
I'm a slow reader, so every year I've made it a goal to read at least a book a month. So far, here are the ones I've finished:

I think my favorite of the year so far is Night of the Hunter, by Davis Grubb. The movie was also pretty decent, but it doesn't create the same tension as the book. Robert Mitchum is perfect as the menacing "preacher" Harry Powell, and you can see the seeds of his later portrayal of Max Cady in Cape Fear, but the movie gets a little cheesy. The book is a great thriller and an easy read.

Coming Up Next
The library, as always seems to be the case anymore, has a couple books waiting for me. Hopefully, I'll find time to read them. Maybe not. We'll see.

First is Devil in the White City, by Erik Larson, about the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and America's first serial killer. I've been kind of obsessed with this era of U.S. history, with industrialization and the inventors and tycoons who made it possible. This book has long been on my "to read" list, but was reminded of it after seeing an episode of Haunted History about Dr. H.H. Holmes' "Murder Castle."

The other book is Chuck Palahniuk's most recent novel, Doomed, which CRAP! I just realized is a sequal to a book I didn't read. I used to be a major fanboy of Palahniuk, but he got off into this raunchy stuff after a while, and I lost interest. I thought I'd give him another chance. I hope I didn't need to read that other book to enjoy this one.

Poor Comic Books
I feel terrible. I haven't picked up my comics in more than a month, and I don't have the time or money to do so now. I'm just leaving my local comic book shop out to dry, and I feel guilty. Should I be a good patron and call to say I'm sorry? Or should I just avoid the store forever? You choose!

What have you been reading, teammates? Anything you can't put down? Anything you've read that people should stay away from reading? Let us know in the comments!