Now that I’ve told you what NOT TO buy, I suppose it would be a good idea to give you some ideas on what to buy for your co-workers this holiday season.  Here are 3 guaranteed hits:

Gift Cards:  You can’t go wrong with a gift card, especially one to a great restaurant.  It’s a practical and fun gift that anyone can enjoy.  Who doesn’t love to go out to dinner?

Wine or Liquor:  Assuming your Secret Santa is not a recovering alcoholic and their religion doesn’t forbid it a nice bottle of booze it a classy and tasteful gift that will surely be a hit. 

Event Tickets:  This one you have to know your recipient a little, but concert & sports tickets almost never fail.  Around here Sox tickets, even for people that are not big baseball fans, are a highly desirable commodity, and the perfect gift.

Here are the 10 worst workplace gifts. A lot of these are common sense, but it seems like common sense is not so common sometimes. So while you peruse this list if you see the blatant absurdity, then pat yourself on the back. If you think some of these are cool gifts, then don’t move a muscle. Sit right there and wait for my "What to Buy" suggestions!

Ok, I’m not pulling any punches here… chances are no matter what you end up getting it is either going to be useless or meaningless to the coworker you give it to. That being said, it is probably going to be re-gifted. In light of this, respect the recipients re-gifting rights and don’t monogram it. Not only does monogram eliminate the re-gift route, but it’s extremely tacky.

9. Camera / [insert inane device] Combo Gadget

I have noticed two odd phenomenon in our society. The first is the delusion that some kind of ill-conceived gadget, one we would never use ourselves, would make a good gift. The second fits nicely with the first and it’s our strange compulsion to combine digital cameras with everything (which took the place of combining an AM radio with everything). No one needs or will ever use a digital camera watch, digital camera key chain, digital camera bottle opener, digital camera golf ball cleaner… The one exception is the camera phone, but you’re not going to buy your secret Santa a cell phone so forget the camera combo. A straight up digital camera is a great gift, but if it’s cheap enough to qualify for an office gift exchange then it’s a bad gift.

8. Donation in the name of…

Giving a donation in the name of… as a gift really is a slap in the face. Honestly, can you think of a more disappointing gift than a card that says someone gave money to "The Human Fund" on your behalf. Personally if I want to support the "Homeless Spider Monkey Defense Fund," I’ll cut them a check myself. Don’t deprive me of my Pepperidge farm smoked meat log!

7. Gift Box Chesses & Smoked Meat Logs

Sure there are people out there that love those gift boxes that are stuffed with vacuum sealed cured meat packages filled with sodium, nitrates and mad cow disease but there are enough that don’t to warn you of this potential flop. Even if you buy it yourself, these wreak of re-gift and most will assume it has been sitting in your closet for the last year.

6. Not So Subtle Hints

You wouldn’t buy a co-worker deodorant or slimfast, so don’t buy them a book that is about fixing their short comings. Despite how good the book "How to Make Friends & Influence People" may be, you aren’t giving a best selling book, you are giving a veiled insult. Here a few particularly offensive books to avoid…

• "From Belly Fat to Belly Flat"
• "Character Makeover"
• "Looking & Feeling Younger"
• "Interpersonal Communication for Dummies"
• "It Hurts When I Poop"

5. Am/Pro Gifts

Sure it seems logical, Jim in Accounting used to be a Golf-Pro, so I should get him something to do with Golf… Oh yeah, how about that cool golf ball sweet spot finder I saw on QVC? No, bad idea. You are on the right track focusing on their interests, but chances are if they are passionate about a particular hobby they already have everything they need for said hobby and all your gift will do is show your ignorance and put them in the awkward position feigning appreciation.

4. Decorative Pieces & Decor

In most cases if you think you have a good eye for aesthetics, you probably don’t. Even you do happen to have good tastes they probably aren’t going to match up with your co-workers tastes so avoid giving decorative pieces. Chances are whatever you give is going to stick out like a sore thumb, yet they’ll feel obligated to put that silly sculpture on their desk for at least a couple weeks.

3. Picture of Yourself

Unless you work with your mom and you are 7 years old, don’t give a framed picture of yourself to anyone at the office. All it will do is serve as a reminder of the person that gave them the worst office gift ever.

2. Handmade Stuff

It’s great to have hobbies outside of work and if you are a struggling artisan, you probably put a lot of time and energy into your work. What’s better than giving someone the fruits of you hard work and creative talents? A lot of things. If you fancy yourself an artist then adorn you office with something you’ve made. People will probably compliment it but if the really like it they’ll ask you where they can get one. In that case, by all means, that is a great gift. If your work is not vetted then don’t risk the disappointment of a feigned thank you only to find your handicraft in the dumpster out back.

1. Lingerie

Since common sense is not common I had to say this. DO NOT BUY ANYONE YOU WORK WITH UNDERWEAR. Chances are you will either embarrass youself, the recipient, or both and land youself with a sexual harassment complaint. Even if it is well recieved it’s going to raise some eyebrows around the office.

Ahh, it’s that special time of year again when we are blessed with bad Christmas sweaters, fruit cake, useless office gifts, 24/7 Christmas music and drunken office party antics. To help you, and your career survive this this festive season, I’ve put together a Holiday Survival Guide. Over the next few days I’ll be covering everything you need to know handle the holidays like an office hero.

Any press is good press right? Wrong! Making a complete spectacle out of yourself or your brand will get you attention, but is it the kind of attention you want. A well executed marketing stunt can put your company on the map… an ill-conceived one can result in embarrassment, trips to the unemployment office and even angry mobs.

Here are 10 of the most outrageous marketing stunts. 5 were killer campaigns that resulted in big wins for their respective companies and 5 were disastrous duds that left their marketing department saying “Whoops,’ or worse…

#1. WHOOPS: Starbucks Email Coupon

In an effort to supplement slumping sales Starbucks initiated a viral campaign that spread to an epidemic. On August 23rd of 2006 Starbucks sent an email coupon for a free iced coffee to a few employees in the south eastern part of the US and encouraged them to forward the email to their friends and family.

The problem was they did not take into account the speed & scope of email and the fact that their coupon could be reproduced an infinite amount of times. What resulted was a worldwide run on Starbucks. In a panic Starbucks yanked the promotion leaving lines of disgruntled customers. The swift action saved them millions in lost revenue but resulted in a PR nightmare and a $114 million dollar class action lawsuit. Thanks a latte Starbucks!

#2. WIN: Golden Palace and The Virgin Mary Sandwich

Barred from advertising through conventional media, Caribbean based online casino GoldenPalace.com has been forced to think outside the box, coming up with some outrageous marking stunts like paying people to tattoo GoldenCasino.com on their foreheads. In their most successful stunt, the casino bought a grilled cheese sandwich, that was adorned with the likeness of the Virgin Mary for $28,000 on eBay. The $28K not only got them a sacred sandwich but also coverage from every major media outlet across the globe.

#3. WHOOPS: Calling All ID Thieves

In a bold marketing move to show the power of LifeLock, an identity theft protection service, CEO Todd Davis published his social security number and dared identity thieves to try and steal his identity.

The campaign that featured truck side billboards, internet and broadcast ads bearing his social security number drew a lot of media attention… unfortunately, not as much attention as the identity thief that successfully stole his identity.

LifeLock claimed that the breach was an isolated incident and not their fault but according to court documents, over 20 fraudulent Driver’s license have been obtained with Davis’s social security number.

#4. WIN: Nathan’s Famous & Healthy Hot Dogs?

In 1915 Coney Island, Polish immigrant Nathan Handwerker worked as a hotdog bun slicer at Feltman’s Beer Garden. Dismayed that he and his fellow immigrant workers couldn’t afford to buy a Feltman’s hot dog, he decided to make his own reasonably priced dogs, and in 1916 he opened “Nathan’s Famous Frankfurter & Soft Drink Stand.”

Things didn’t start out so good for Nathan. The public was already growing weary of they spicy mystery meat tubes and Nathan’s low 5 cent price fueled rumors that his dogs were made from inferior dog and horse meat. In a move to win the publics trust, Nathan hired people wearing lab coats and stethoscopes to stand in front of his restaurant eating hotdogs.

The public bought it and he capitalized on it with signs that boasted “If doctors eat our hot dogs, you know they’re good!” So instead of fading from the streets of Coney Island, he was able to generate the momentum that lead to a Hot Dog empire and household name.

#5. WHOOPS: This One Bombed

In January of 2007 promote the new Aqua Teen Hunger Force (ATHF) movie, Turner Broadcasting hired Interference Inc. to generate buzz. Their plan, dubbed Boston Mission 1 involved planting Lite-Brite like devices bearing the likeness of an ATHF character “Er” in numerous high traffic areas like train stations and overpasses.

At 8:05 AM on January 31st someone noticed the glowing circuit board on an Interstate 93 Bridge support beam and rather than recognizing the obscure sinister cartoon character, they called the police, who brought in the bomb squad, shut down the highway and created hours of gridlock throughout the city.

The stunt sparked world wide media attention but ultimately resulted in several arrests, lawsuits, the resignation of the Cartoon Network GM, the federal Terrorist Hoax Improvements Act of 2007, and hardly a mention of the actual movie in the media.

#6. WIN: Half.com, Oregon

In 1999 Start-up Half.com had a great discount retail platform but struggled to standout in from the rapidly growing dot com retail crowd. To raise brand awareness they paid the city of Halfway, OR to change their name to Half.com.

The move attracted a flurry of media attention bringing them from the business section to the front page. Traffic to the site boomed and months later eBay swooped in a bought the rising star for $300 million. Reports indicate that Halfway was a little less fortunate. Their official website explained, “Half.com made many promises. Some of which were honored and others not.”

#7. WHOOPS: Disco Demolition Night or Comiskey Park Demolition Night?

Experience stagnant ticket sales at Comiskey Park, the Chicago White Sox decided to take advantage of Disco’s waning public favor by holding Disco Demolition Night. Hoping to bring in an extra 5000 or so spectators to a double header against the Detroit Tigers, the White Sox management encouraged fans to bring in their Disco records in exchange for $1 tickets.

The promotion did bring in 5,000 fans along with 70,000 more. When thousands were turned away from the 45K person capacity park, angry disco haters resorted to crashing the gates and scaling the walls. In between the two games, as scheduled, a popular local radio host blew up a crate of the Disco records in Center Field and the crowd went wild… literally. They rioted, setting fires and tearing the field to pieces resulting in the White Sox being forced to forfeit the second game.

#8. WIN: The Taco Liberty Bell… Just Kidding

On April 1st, 1996 Taco Bell bought newpaper ads with a picture of the national treasure, The Liberty Bell, announcing that they bought and renamed it the “Taco Liberty Bell.” The ad copy read:

“Taco Bell is pleased to announce that we have agreed to purchase the Liberty Bell, one of our country’s most historic treasures. It will now be called the ‘Taco Liberty Bell’ and will still be accessible to the American public for viewing. While some may find this controversial, we hope our move will prompt other corporations to take similar action to do their part to reduce the country’s debt.”

Of course outrage ensued and people not realizing that it was April Fool’s Day, began bombarding Liberty Bell Center and Taco Bell with irate complaints. At about noon, Taco Bell released a statement explaining the prank and the outrage turned to hungry laughter as the media outlets ate it up and Taco Bell experienced a $1.1 Million increase in sales over the next two days.

#9. WHOOPS: CK Edgy or Over the Edge?

Calvin Klein thrives on the attention they get from their boundary pushing provocative advertising campaigns, but in 1995 they pushed a little too far. The campaign in question featured a series of TV commercials featuring barely legal teens in a wood paneled room being interviewed by a creepy old man.

Unlike their ads featuring a sexy but underage Brooke Shields, these commercials looked like they were a pedophiles home movie reels. Yet again, outrage ensued, complaints poured in and the FBI even investigated Calvin Klein for possible child pornography charges. Although the FBI concluded that no crimes were committed the ads left a bad taste in the mouth of the public and the company ended up pulling the plug on the campaign.

#10. Win? The Paris Hilton Marketing Machine

Most people don’t think “Marketing Genius” when they think of Paris Hilton but she was able to take the public humiliation and subsequent media frenzy over the leak of her 2003 “Sex Tape” and leverage that fame to transform herself from an obscure spoiled socialite into a house hold name. By making a total spectacle of herself at every turn she has built her name into a multi-million dollar brand that has led her to financially successful fashion line, modeling career, acting career, speaking engagements and book deals.

Just about every one is well aquatinted with the words "Financial Crisis,"  yet despite round the clock news coverage and endless punditry, many of the people I talk with don’t fully grasp how this all happened. 

Here is a great guide I found over at Mint for those who still feel lost in the sea of economic jargon.  It’s not perfect… It over simplifies some factors and leaves others completely out but all in all this is a rather accurate and detailed account, laid out in an easy to digest chart…

How it all happened:

For the rest of the chart head over to Mint Blog…

Phone based meetings just aren’t the same as physical meetings.  You lose that connection you make by looking the other person in the eye.  You lose the ability to read the other persons body language and facial expressions, and you lack the visual ability to visually demonstrate or explain something. 

Face to face meetings were not always practical depending on your budget, the nature of the meeting and obviously the distance involved, but now with current Internet connection speeds and video technologies, a virtual face to face is not only possible but it’s also practical. 

If you have half a million dollars to drop on you video conferencing you can consider Cisco’s TelePrescense… but if you don’t, don’t dismay, there are a number of tools that can help you meet, communicate and collaborate in a virtual face to face video chat…

Ease of Entry: Google Video Chat

If you are thinking about implementing video calls/conferencing the easiest way to get going is Google’s new video chat, which launched last week as part of Gmail.  If you are already using Gmail or Google Apps in your business, Google Video Chat is a no-brainer.  There is no need for a separate program, with a simple plug-in, it is seamlessly integrated into your Gmail so all you have to do is click on the video chat button at the bottom of an email or text chat window to take your conversation "face to face."   Another bonus… it’s free!

A Familiar Face: Skype Video

Skype Video has been around for a while but some have complained about the poor video quality.  Recently with the release of Skype 4, they have added Skype High Quality Video which allows you to go full screen with good picture quality.  If you are already using Skype for VOIP calls and chat, utilizing Skype Video is a good option.  Another bonus to Skype is that you don’t necessarily need a computer to use.  With some external hardware, you’ll be up and running making video calls without taking up your computers resources or valuable screen real estate. 

Get the Whole Team On Board: TokBox

Need more than a face to face?  Need a face to face to face to face to… how about 25 faces?  Tokbox is a free browser base video chat service that provides excellent quality and extensibility.  The biggest bonus is the ability to add numerous people.  I’ve never been on a 25 person video conference, but I can imagine it’s a little confusing and chaotic, and I can’t imagine having to do one, but the option is nice to have.  Tokbox is very powerful and easy to use, the only disadvantages I see… it doesn’t go full screen and you can’t click to call, you have to set up a specific chat.

Extensibility: SightSpeed

SightSpeed is a free service that offers features similar to skype… free computer to computer calls with the option to call landlines at a per minute rate, instant messaging and of course video chat.  What SightSpeed has over Skype is it’s extensibility… but unlike TokBox the extra features are going to cost you.  The consumer Plus version allows you to conference with up to 4 people for about $10 a month.  If you want to get more than that you’ll have to get the business plan that can get pretty pricey, but offers a whole host of communications options.

Don’t Just Chat, Collaborate with Vsee

Probably my favorite, Vsee takes the video conference a step further by adding collaboration tools.  Vsee is a stand alone program that unfortunately for you Mac users only works on windows at the moment.  It allows you to conference with up to 4 people at once for free, or up to 8 people with the paid premium version.  The simple collaboration tools are what make this a killer solution.  If you want to share a file simply drag and drop it into the video window.  You can share your screen with others and even applications.  For example if the person you are conferencing with does not have, Photoshop installed on their computer, they can see your screen and even control it and make changes to the document you are working on if you allow it.  

… or to the ER nurse.

Best case scenario, you and your business won’t ever run into a hard-to-work with customer, and you won’t ever make a mistake and you won’t ever fail to deliver on time no matter the circumstances. But as we all know, things happen. Things can range from harsh weather, a decimal point in the wrong place, an unmet deadline, to more serious problems such as an accidental breech in confidentiality, a major illness or even death in your company, or any number of reasons why you have an dissatisfied customer despite your best efforts.

• “They may be upset because of billing charges they weren’t expecting, or the product or service wasn’t what they were expecting, or delivery was later than promised, or they misunderstood your procedures and practices, or sometimes it is a genuine error on your part, and there are also times when it is simply a figment of the customers imagination. Whichever it is, how you and your staff deal with the situation will make the difference between a loyal and satisfied customer, and a customer who leaves you for the competition.” - thanks to Brock Henderson on ISP-Planet
  

Assure yourself that customers like to feel satisfied and most times any customer will realize that you are doing your best even if the outcome takes longer or you have to negotiate your rates to meet your customers’ expectations. Very rarely is there that person who goes into the restaraunt (or your widget business) eats a whole full course dinner with dessert, then walks out the door without paying or tipping, telling the hostess that everything was terrible.

Customers who become unhappy but, with your help, are successfully able to transition from unhappy to satisfied, no matter how long it takes, can become your company’s best and most appreciated customer. This may seem counter intuitive but it is plain common sense.

In the arts marketing scene Chad M. Bauman, the Director of Communications at Arena Stage in Arlington (VA), where he supervises the marketing, media relations, publications, sales, front of house and audience development departments wrote in his blog, “For example, how would you handle it if the weather is bad and a single ticket buyer calls the box office to see if they can switch their tickets to another night, and your theater has a policy that only subscribers have that privilege? I would advocate saying something like “normally it is our policy that this is a subscriber option, but the weather today is horrible and I wouldn’t want you to risk the safety of you or your family by trying to get to the theater. I would be more than happy this one time to switch your tickets to another night, as long as there is availability. Please keep in mind when you are purchasing tickets in the future, that subscribers always have this option.” Switch their tickets, mail them the new ones with a note that said–glad we could help out, and we look forward to seeing you at the theater.”

When times are tough many companies cut surplus equipment. Some companies go under all together and their equipment gets liquidated. What that means is a good supply of good second hand equipment.

In case you aren’t familiar, refurbished equipment is second hand equipment that has been tested and inspected and given a clean bill of health to be resold, at a considerably lower price than new equipment.

Refurbished machines could have been used, damaged or simply purchased and returned, and while some pieces may have scuffs or scratches they should be in perfect working order. That being said, it is very important that you buy your refurbished equipment from a reputable place.

Most computer companies offer their own refurbished equipment for sale, like HP and Dell. When you are buying direct from the manufacturer you often get a warranty essentially making the equipment as good as new, but with a price tag that’s a little friendlier to the bottom line.

From a Business Week editorial by Newt Gingrich…

“It’s time to declare the end of adolescence. As a social institution, it’s been a failure… Adolescence was invented in the 19th century to enable middle-class families to keep their children out of sweatshops. But it has degenerated into a process of enforced boredom and age segregation that has produced one of the most destructive social arrangements in human history: consigning 13-year-old males to learning from 15-year-old males.”

Good ol’ Newt is always good for a little controversy, but he raises some interesting points. One idea that I find particularly interesting is the proposal he makes at the end of the article that reads a little less draconian than the title…

“High school students who can graduate a year early get the 12th year’s cost of schooling as an automatic scholarship to any college or technical school they want to attend. If they graduate two years early, they get two years of scholarships. At no added cost to taxpayers, we would give students an incentive to study as hard as they can and maximize the speed at which they learn.”

I like this idea. It’s a voluntary and incentive based way to encourage hard work in school. Plus it allows a particularly motivated young person to take a little control of their career path early on, hopefully bringing smart, motivated and hardworking people into the workforce sooner rather than later.

Read the whole article at BusinessWeek.com.