The Brit in America

Do My Survey!

2012-02-27T11:19:00.001-08:00

Can you all complete this survey to help my mate and I in our marketing class. The link is:

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZPC9JMR

I'll adopt a homeless tree if enough people do it.

"OMG, I Love Your Outfit..."

2012-02-23T15:50:00.002-08:00

Well, this is awkward....

Last time I blogged was yonks ago! My apologies for not keeping up. It might be that I haven't had the time, maybe I've been doing other things. Or possibly because Google decided to deactivate my AdSense account for no reason, which I cannot regain, and now I'm not making an earner from blogging. Take the hint, Google.

So what a way to mark my return by talking about AIDS!

I'm kidding.

Something that has made me stand out here, besides my accent, is the way I dress. Now, believe me, I have some fashion sense, but not a lot. I like buying cool clothes and always try to get stuff that is different.

I'm not going into something like: "Americans have no taste when it comes to fashion", because that is not the case. What I'm aiming at is that they can be rather bland, if that's the right word. It's more of a "sheep herd" when it comes to what to wear. People will put on what everyone else is wearing and will remain happy just blending in with the crowd.

Most British people I know try to buy clothes that are different to what's the norm, and I do too. I love my waistcoat with a hood and, although popular in Britain, thin material scarfs are different to what people are used to seeing here.

The American designers like A&F, Hollister and American Eagle are all really good, though. I've made a few purchases there myself. I still think they need a huge injection of Superdry, Topman and River Island into the malls!

A common thing that happens here, is that when people do see others wearing something out of the ordinary and even remotely fashionable, they are quick to draw the "gay" card. To the people that do so, grow up. Surely you know that girls like a guy who can dress well anyway, so you're just making yourself look jealous. Water on a duck's back, my friend.

It might be a self confidence thing, you do have to be brave to stand out. But it's worth it.

This doesn't just apply to lads, girls follow on with this generalisation. Apart from the whole "gay" thing.

So come on people, sharpen up! Let's all look like we're in an episode of Skins!

Help Me Settle A Score Here...

2012-01-15T20:36:00.000-08:00

I really need some help here.

It all happened last Monday in my Marketing class. I was sat listening to the lecturer talk about marketing basics; four p's, primary and secondary research, etc; when a suspicious word left her mouth and caused confusion to my brain.

After a few minutes of thought (yeah, my mind works slowly) I sussed it. What I believe she was trying to say was the word 'niche'. As in 'a niche market', small market within a larger market.

What got me was her pronunciation of it. She said it like: 'nitch'. At first I assumed she mis-said it, but the lecturer used the word with the same pronunciation repeatedly. After asking about a few American mates, I discovered they all say it the same. This is one of those things in life that just instantly ticks you off.

They way I'm used to hearing it is pronounced: 'neesh'. Which I thought was the correct way.

So someone please shed some light on my dilemma. I don't like being wrong...

This isn't the Football I thought we were talking about...

2012-01-11T06:43:00.000-08:00

It couldn't be long before I blogged about American Football, could it?

What sparked me to write about it now was the recent game between the Pittsburg Steelers and the Denver Broncos. Or at least that's who I thought was playing... The Broncos won and it was some sort of 'play-off' game which means the Steelers are out. Imagine Chelsea getting knocked out of the FA Cup by Everton for all you 'real' football fans.

But apparently, the final touch-down was from an illegal play by the Broncos. Something like, they had six men in a line rather than the regulatory five. I suppose it's the equivalent to putting an extra man in a rugby scrum, right? So it was unfair and no the Steelers are pissed off. I don't know American Football too well, but it looked like they were being well and truly beat anyway.

So my opinion on the sport? Well first of all, it has a stupid name. It is not 'football'. Football is football (which is soccer for you Yanks). Why didn't you call this sport soccer? Or handball? Or anything other than something that is already a name of another sport?

I don't quite get the rules either. It's far too technical and all 'stop-start-stop-start'. If you throw the ball out of bounds, it's somehow still in your possession... Odd. And the whole, 'you must get this far in this amount of time' is just weird.

Another thing I don't like is the idea of specialised players. The kicker comes on just to take a penalty, I feel like we could utilise David Beckham like this when he's in his forties to just take corners and free-kicks. But they can change players whenever and however they want, as many times as they want. Unlike 'real' football where you are limited to three changes throughout. And the pay of each players varies drastically. A quarterback will be paid loads, whereas, the fat guy who just smashes people is probably receiving an average wage. At least show some consistency, I mean, in 'real' football, we over-pay all the players. Yeah, players like Rooney and Kompany are on wages above most others, but it doesn't depend on their position.

One thing I do like about American Football, though, is that it has a lot more pride involved in comparison to baseball, basketball and hockey. Fans will actually follow their teams and show support. However! (They're had to be a however.) The support shown is still nothing in comparison to 'real' football. We use our sport and team as a lifestyle and it seems as if nothing else matters when our team play. I remember not going to a party once because United lost to West Ham and I was just too depressed to do anything. Damn Matthew Upson.

I think American Football could be improved by making it an international sport, so the U.S can play against other nations. There's no better tournament than something like the World Cup or the Olympics. But who in their right mind would want to see that happen? A world-wide American Football tournament? Americans would. The rest of the world would just turn the TV over to something more entertaining, like Loose Women...

Just doing someone a favour

2012-01-09T18:31:00.000-08:00

Because I am nice, I'm doing a post for a friend who needs to raise money for a volunteering trip to Thailand.

I went there once. It was awesome. But I didn't do any voluntary stuff. I rode elephants and junk like a champ.

So the link to her page is: http://www.indiegogo.com/Laras-volunteering-funds

I've already donated, no joke. One dollar of that total is straight from my account.

But seriously, help out if you can and it sounds like a good cause. All these kids want to do is learn in school, whereas, kids like me just wanted to get out of it. So support the dedicated Thai nerds!

PS. Lara - When you return from Thailand, I want you to bring me back one of these, I saw one in a movie from Thailand:

Return of the Brit

2012-01-07T04:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time coming, but today is the day. You guessed it, it's the day where I am able to blog from the land of the free and the home of the Whopper once more!

My flight got in yesterday morning, fourteen hours direct! Then a five hour bus journey followed by an hours drive. Not a great day, I must say.

So I've had plenty of time to think of things to blog about, and being back in the States will give me even more.

Stay tuned people.

Poll Reminder!

2011-12-19T00:40:00.000-08:00

Just a heads up - the poll that you can see in the sidebar just below the money making advertisements is due to close in about two weeks time.

Get your vote in!

And the good news is...There is no good news...

2011-12-16T23:15:00.000-08:00

An English teacher once told me that it is effective to start a piece of writing by using a rhetorical question, but you all knew that, didn't you?

See what I did there?^

And again.^

Anyway, all of the above is irrelevant. What I've noticed over the last few days is that whenever you turn on a news channel, regardless of location, it will always be bad news. Always. Well, at least ninety-five percent of the time.

Sky News, CBS News, Fox News, BBC News, whatever it is, wherever you are, they never have anything positive to say about the world. I mean, I understand that the economy is buggered, there's wars and the occasional murder, but tell me something that's going to boost me, not demoralise me. The recession upsets everyone (even the ones who don't know what it is) so why upset them further?

I try to avoid watching news these days, especially American news. It so unbelievably biased and full of all sorts of propaganda. I'm not saying British news isn't biased because Sky News is just whatever Murdoch gives the green light too, but when something is a bit "propaganda-rous", we tend to notice it, whereas Americans do not. The smart Americans know they are being fed lies, however, the not so smart ones still think the war in Iraq is to do with 9/11. "Stupid towel-heads!"

Back to my original point, give me some good news! The only good news you ever give me is small stuff like a small dog saves a caterpillar from a wasp. (Fictional story there).

The last time I heard good news on TV was when I heard that Fernando Torres was having problems scoring for Chelsea, and to be fair, that's never going to change...

Have I become accustom to American things?

2011-12-14T04:04:00.000-08:00

So there I was last night, drinking a Sol beer, when I realised that I wasn't in America anymore. Apart from the weather, nothing made me actually notice I had left. Maybe this is because Dubai is sort of "westernized" but I was shocked by my own ignorance.

This makes me wonder, have I become too used to American things? I mean, it was the beer brand that made me notice, nothing else. I was expecting to look down and see a Bud Light or something else in my hand.

So am I going to freak out when I turn on the TV and see some ~~soccer~~ football coverage instead of constant basketball/hockey/baseball/american football highlights? Or when I ask people if they own a gun and they say no?

Was I destined for the states? I'm scaring myself now, I need to watch an episode of Teletubbies to set me straight...

The American In The Airport

2011-12-12T12:34:00.000-08:00

So I'm home in Dubai now, lapping up the sun. I spent almost eight hours in airports alone over the last twenty-four hours, and the one thing that really caught my eye was how bad Americans are in airports.

Maybe I was just with some idiots, but this wasn't just a few, this was at least thirty or forty Yanks that could not understand how airports work. The main reason behind this is most likely down to the fact that a lot of Americans do not really leave their country. Most of them tend to drive to places in different areas of the country, and I'm not sure if it's true or not, but I heard an interesting statistic that under fifteen percent of Americans actually have passports. If true, that's crazy.

If you're in an airport waiting to board a plane to start your "vacation", as the Yanks say, try to avoid and queues with our trans-Atlantic friends in. I hate to stereotype, but I have not met one American capable of working their way through an airport without doing something stupid or making a scene. One woman I saw today just walked through the security scanner with all her jewelry on, her belt on, her phone in her pocket. She removed the items when told, but then reached the other side to discover she needed to take her laptop out of her bag for the scan. These are airport basics people!

The day I do meet a airport-compatible American, I will drop this whole subject, because this is surely not what the whole American population is like. Is it?

Big City Life

2011-12-10T10:32:00.001-08:00

Well, this is my first entry from anywhere other than Pennsylvania. I'm reporting live from "The Big Apple". No, not Infinite Loop (hi-five if you got the Apple Inc. reference) but New York City.

I do love this place, there's always something happening. I wouldn't want to go to college here just because it'd be way to much hassle with transport and stuff. I suppose that's why so many people walk, which conveniently brings me into what I want to talk about: walking. Sounds fun right?

Walking is brilliant isn't it? I'm kidding, it's not one of those pointless "blog-for-the-sake-of-blogging" things. What interests me is the speeds of people walks. I swear every New Yorker and their mum had over-taken me over a two block distance once I started walking off the bus!

They probably have places to go, but if you all slowed down, then it would make no difference, am I right? It's something to do with ratios or something like that. But immediately people of the Internet will say: "Then we wouldn't get things done as fast as we do." to which my response would be: "China is already raping every other country, so let's just let them have it."

An alternative could be to have everyone run everywhere. I mean, the walking speeds are equivalent to jogging speeds already, so why not notch it up to sprints? Maybe I have just found a way to cut down obesity rates in America?! Take that Jamie Oliver! 1-0!

Anyway, I love NYC. So here's a picture I took:

The Road To Dubai (not the golf).

2011-12-08T18:24:00.001-08:00

It all starts tomorrow morning folks! I leave the campus at 6:15am to go to State College and then it's a long bus ride up to New York City. I hang there until early Sunday morning when my flight leaves for Dubai with a one hour stop-over in London, Heathrow Airport.

I really can't wait to get home to see all my friends and family. In a weird way, I'm going to miss campus life though. Yeah it can get boring at times but it's a laugh, and that's what I was looking for in a college.

So thank you people of the Mount. I've loved my first semester - well the ~~soccer~~ football and the people anyway.

I want the next semester to fly by so that I can get playing again and get more goals. We ARE making play-offs next year! I'd like to wish good luck to the two seniors, Luke Fragello and Kevin Wheelden, who had their final season this semester. I'd also like to say good luck to my striking partner in crime, Na'im Bashir, who's transferring out. Finally, a big thanks to Coach Ali for being a great manager and setting us in the right direction. The team can go far under you're influence, I hope you're still shouting at us from the sidelines next year! Good luck guys! Never forget the famous Mounties!

Boiler Room Basterds

2011-12-08T14:44:00.001-08:00

See Me Live!

2011-12-07T19:34:00.001-08:00

This is almost scary!

My room-mate and I have set up a 24/7 channel that will broadcast our room! Obviously we are not going to run it 24/7 but we could if we wanted to.

But basically, we can chat to people watching and it's just kind of cool to stream on the Internet.

So if you fancy watching, the link is: www.ustream.tv/channel/boilerroombasterds

Boiler Room Basterds is the name of the account. The name originated as our room is located right above the boiler room, meaning our room gets real hot sometimes.

It won't be running during December as neither of us will be here, but be sure to check this out in January!

Country Music and it's Achy-Breaky Heart.

2011-12-07T18:15:00.001-08:00

How bad is the title for this entry? ^^^ I'm sorry but that's literally the only country song I know besides Taylor Swift.

You may have guessed that this article is centered around the country music genre. Give yourself a pat on the back if you got it right!

So anyway, country music was something new to me when I arrived here. I never heard any of it on my initial arrival, but I suppose that's because I spent the week in New York City. Hopefully I'm not causing any offense but New Yorkers don't really seem the "type" to listen to country music!

However, when I moved into Pennsylvania and got to know a few people from other parts of the country, I realised it had a wider appeal than what I first expected. It's frequency played on the radio stations and shops and petrol stations also play it quite a lot.

I don't really have an opinion on it. One of my suit-mates occasionally has it on, so I have heard some tracks. Many people associate it with "rednecks" or "hillbillies", I haven't met a true redneck or hillbilly so it'd be unfair to judge.

Frankly, it's definitely not my type of music. But I think it's cool how Americans have kept it mainstream (partially at least), as it kind of prowesses their heritage. Nothing like a bit of patriotism! And no-one beats the Yanks when it comes to being patriot!

Answer My Question!

2011-12-07T16:56:00.001-08:00

The poll is to the right of this entry. Do as the picture says!

*In Ray William Johnson voice*: So tell me guys, where would you live?

My First Video!

2011-12-07T10:32:00.001-08:00

If you know me well enough, you'll know that I like to make stupid, funny, sometimes pointless videos.

So this is officially The Brit in America Blog's first YouTube upload!

Check out the video, but be warned, it contains some strong language!

Many a thanks goes to John Wiley. If he becomes a YouTube sensation, I'm taking the credit! You saw it here first!

It's like hockey, but it's on ice...

2011-12-06T11:01:00.001-08:00

We have hockey in England, but there are some minor differences. First of all, it's played on grass. Secondly, they don't end up in a brutal brawl every five minutes. We also have field boundaries... No I think about it, there are so many differences.

From the protection worn to the shape of the stick, things are actually quite opposite. The main one being that "field" hockey has sort of become a women's sport, whereas, "ice" hockey is obviously stereotyped as a bloke's sport.

If I'm being honest, the only reason I ever watch ice hockey is because I want to see a fight. The sport itself is not so interesting, but it's by far better than field hockey. So well done America, you improved one sport we already had. However, I believe you can't brag as your recreation of football is terrible and made your national pass-time a weird adaptation of rounders...

The hockey team I have chosen to support is the Pittsburg Penguins, just because everyone else here does, peer pressure much?

The question I'm asking: Should we allow fights and such in ~~soccer~~ (damn it!) football?

How interesting would that be?!? Vidic would be even better than he always is and we'd finally get to see Fernando Torres on the floor for a good reason.

The image above is a picture of Sydney Crosby, who's the only ice hockey player I know. He's demonstrating what I'd do if I had five minutes with Sepp Blatter.

The British Accent

2011-12-05T18:55:00.001-08:00

So why? That is my question put oh so simply. What is it about the English (or any other kind of British for that matter) accent that drives girls insane?

This is actually quite a cool pic^

Since the day I arrived in America, everyone woman, regardless of age, keeps asking me to speak. I was selling some of my books back today and the cashier lady asked me to keep talking just so they could hear my voice! As I left, I said: "Thanks", to which she responded: "You have to say a little more than that!". Anywhere else in the world and this would be something that would freak the shit out of me. But being nice I gave her the satisfaction by saying: "Cheers for all ya help today, darling." She loved it.

Note: Do not get the wrong impression that I was flirty with this women, she was in her 40's.

There has been multiple occasions where I've sat down with my mates from the ~~soccer~~ football team and their girl mates come sit with us. As soon as I open my mouth, they look in amazement and start smiling and giggling like twelve year old girls. They always turn to their guy mates and ask: "Is that his real voice?" which is when I usually jump in quick and say something like: "Nah mate, just putting on a proper good accent like, you get me?" Not in a scummy sounding way, but more in a civilised yet street wise manner. They can't believe it and suddenly I'm some sort of Chuck Norris. He's the American equivalent of David Beckham right?

I personally think this is one of those mysteries that is best left unsolved. Because, trust me, I'm not complaining about it one bit! So any other Brits out there her want to have the pick of the birds, get your arse out to the states!

Americans - I love that you love me.

Jersey Shore and the rest of America

2011-12-04T21:01:00.001-08:00

I keep hearing their terms everywhere, absolutely everywhere in this country. You guessed it folks, I'm ranting about Jersey Shore (but who isn't?).

I'll express my opinion on the so-called "reality" show in a bit, but first I just want to talk how the show has had such a massive impact on the rest of the country.

I don't think for one second the show has changed peoples behaviour or any other way, shape or form of how they act. The thing I think it has had the most influence on is the "slang" or terminology Americans are using nowadays.

The show is so influential, that instead of someone informing you an ugly girl wants to have sex with you, you get told that a grenade is DTF. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the new terms, I love stuff like this, being from cockney descent, where I can tell you that I'll meet you by the apples in the quacks as I have a dodgy New Delhi because of the bees I spent on the ruby last night. (Translation = I'll meet you by the stairs in the doctor's as I have a bad stomach because of the money I spent on the curry last night.)

So I'm going to have to start going to the gym, launderette and tanning salon all in one day if I want to fit in, I suppose. I'm positive there are far more terms I am unaware of and will be hearing in the upcoming weeks.

Now the moment you've all been waiting for - my opinion on the show. I'm going to keep it short and sweet otherwise I'd be typing for hours. So here is my quote:

"It's so fake. Don't watch it."

Genuinely Interesting News

2011-12-04T14:40:00.001-08:00

Well people, I've just had a little chinwag with a lad on campus about blogging. He's interested in starting a comedy blog with one of his mates, and I know for a fact, that if they are to pursue the blogging plan, it will be a success. He's a funny chap and I'm sure his mate is also.

So long story short, I was speaking to him about my blog and, more importantly, it's relatively successful start. A plan is in mixer that I will help promote their blog, via my blog, the blog's Twitter account, etc. In return, they will help promote mine.

In order to help their comedy blog advance and make people laugh, I may be asked to write a weekly entry for them. I don't like blowing my own trumpet (who am I kidding? I love to.) but I think comedic writing is one of my strongest areas of literature. Another element behind my appointment would be that my humour would be from a British perspective, giving more variety to what is assumed to be an American audience. We all know the Yanks love us Brits.

So anyway, I'll keep you informed on the issue and I really hope it gets the green light go ahead. It would be nice to write for other people and see their blog mature into something special, which I know it would be.

Here's the lad I've been speaking to:

His name is Robert "Bo" Forney, and yes, he does show an incredible resemblance to The Incredible Hulk.

Finals

2011-12-04T14:23:00.001-08:00

Hello people who actually read my blog! Just think, if this blog ever goes huge and I become famous, you can be the one who's like: "Man, I knew about the blog before it went mainstream!"

Well this post itself isn't really anything special. It's basically me giving in a "sick note" and apolosing in advance for a possible lack of blog entries over the next few days. It's finals week at my uni so apparently I have to study for some sort of test...

Usually I'm not one to bust my arse to revise for exams, but I feel my student life will be cut short if I do not prepare slightly.

So yeah, I have a Networking final tomorrow, an Accounting final the following day and Cultural Literacy Studies portfolio review on the Thursday. The fourth was done last Friday. Learning's a bitch init?

Cheap Vodka

2011-12-03T11:45:00.001-08:00

The entire world has it's fair share of poor quality alcohol available at a very affordable price, not mentioning any countries in particular. Russia. But I think I have found maybe the weirdest, cheapest form of Vodka on the planet.

It's called Vladimir, also known as Vlad. I've had it a few times now and just something about it freaks me out. Not quite sure what. It's that type of booze that smells like nail polish remover and tastes like something even worse.

Despite it's minging taste, I keep going back to it. And I can't complain about it's "get's-you-really-drunk-ability" because it works a treat. And if I'm perfectly honest, I don't remember much of the nights where I did drink it. I haven't chundered from drinking it yet but I've seen it happen to many a people.

So yeah, stay away from that shit if you just want an "enjoyable" night. If you want to get totally sloshed then go for it son!

Football, Not Soccer.

2011-12-02T15:21:00.001-08:00

Ok then, so I guess it's time for my real first entry which actually relates to the subject of the blog.

A "real" football

I've been living here since August, so about 5 months now. I didn't experience the "cultural shock" that was a term thrown about by other ex-pats who found it difficult to settle in. I think this was because I was fortunate enough to speak the only language known on an international scale - football.

Well, I call it football, along with the rest of the whole world, apart from America. Which leads me into my main point. Where did the yanks get the term "soccer" from? This football/soccer dilemma was the first major difference that hit me, besides the fact that everyone sounded different to me and kept saying "Wow, I love your accent!"

I chose to do my Cultural Literacy Studies research project on the reasons why Americans did not adopt the world's most popular sport as their primary pass-time. I mean, they're American, so wouldn't they want to be the best at it? They have such driven and determined attitudes in all sports, so why not this one?

I'll spare you the boring, historical reasonings behind the lack of "soccer", but it was mainly to do with a lack of success, new sports arising (baseball, basketball, American football and ice hockey), and the fact that they were unable to change the rules to their liking.

Despite my thorough research (total lie there, I spent amount twenty-five minutes searching on Google and bluffed a reference list), I never came across anything relevant to origination of the word "soccer". I'm sure it's very easy to find out, but I really can't be bothered doing anymore research.

So my American muckka's, where's it come from? And don't even try giving me the whole: "We play real (American) football!"- because we all know that's just a pile of crap. The "real" football is the one played with our feet, which is why I guess we called it "foot"ball.

Blog's Twitter!

2011-12-02T15:09:00.001-08:00

Twitter account for the blog is now up and running! It'll mainly have links to the site but you never know when some funny "Americanisms" may pop up on there! Get following tweeps!

As shown in the picture, the username is @britamericablog .