Talking of Sex

The Battle of Ideas - we do need sex education

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 19:18:00 +0000

Today I took part in a debate at the Institute of Ideas, Battle of Ideas Festival at the Royal College of Arts in Kensington. I have to admit to being dubious beforehand about how many people would be there - first thing on a Sunday morning, the night after halloween. I have done Sunday morning debating slots before with the panel and their supporters. I am glad to say I was proven absolutely wrong. It was a good debate, with a decent amount of people, and very well chaired. I recommend next years festival, and the activities of the Institute of Ideas to you.

The title of my debate was we don't need no sex education and the other panellists were Dr Hera Cook a historian from the University of Birmingham; Dr Jan Macvarish from University of Canterbury and Professor David Paton from University of Nottingham.

I really enjoyed the contribution of Dr Hera Cook from a historical perspective. It is always useful to remember how history shapes our understanding of what is happening now and what will happen in the future. I was struck yet again by how powerfully sexuality is controlled in this country.

It was clear today yet again that we should never underestimate the power of myth and misunderstanding in relation to sex and relationships education and young people's sexual health. Some of the stories I heard today about sex and relationships education seem far fetched at worst, and at best mis guided. But isn't that true of attempts to engage young people in english, maths and geography too - just we fail to question these subjects as much as we question SRE.

Anyways, the rumour, the myth, and the misunderstanding about SRE promise to be continual challenges to the type of education and support children and young people tell us they want. As professionals, parents and young people who want to improve young people's sexual health we must continue to challenge the hysteria, politicisation and misinformation that is so common place.

And on a different but equally important note, when it comes to intimate relationships, people with learning disabilities often have less opportunities to make friendships and establish relationships than their non disabled peers - in the Sunday Times there was a brilliant article called pleasure principle - its introductory paragraph, ' time was when a learning disability meant automatic exclusion from cool music, clubs and clothes, kate spencer meets the people who are blazing a trail to change all that'. And thank goodness there are people trailblazing these overdue and important changes.

And in case you have not heard of Heart N Soul before, go on their website and see the fantastic work they do, led by people with disabilities to promote social opportunities, high aspirations and relationships. They are an organisation that really walks the talk.

sex, alcohol and racism

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 20:49:00 +0000

I have just come back from a joint meeting between the APPG on sexual health and the APPG on alcohol misuse. A specialist liver doctor explained how 20% of people have dangerous or hazardous drinking habits drink 80% of all alcohol. He also talked about research in their local area done in partnership with the sexual health service which showed that about 35% of people attending a GUM clinic to be tested for a sexually transmitted infection thought that alcohol was either definitely or possibly a cause for them taking risks with their sexual health.

Two people from Brook in Birmingham presented on their work with young people and professionals on the links between sex and alcohol. They reminded us that young people are learning about alcohol use and misuse from the adults around them; that we must be mindful that most young people do not have a serious problem with alcohol; that clinical consultations must focus on building a relationship of trust, and that this relationship of trust can only be built if we spend enough time with each individual - we cannot rush people through on a conveyer belt approach. And of course finding enough time is often one of the biggest challenges we can face as professionals.

In an engaging presentation they created a series of spoof newspaper headlines challenging some of the myths about the sexual behaviours and attitudes of both younger and older people. These combined with information about the training course for professionals, 'sex, alcohol and rubber ducks', the offer of a demonstration of beer goggles, picking up pennies, and the display of condoms and condom demonstrators gave the meeting attendees a practical experience of the creative approach Brook takes to educating young people about the links between alcohol and sexual health.

I am just watching last weeks Panorama programme on racism in a housing estate near Bristol. It is really disturbing watching and is making me feel desperately sad. This programme is an urgent reminder to anyone who believes that racism is a thing of the past, and a reminder that we must not stop for one minute in challenging racism in all its forms and promoting positive relations and community cohesion from the earliest opportunity in our schools and communities.

Some things from my head on a saturday

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 10:46:00 +0000

This week has been as varied, interesting and challenging as most weeks are. As I sit with a cup of coffee on Saturday morning reflecting on the week there are a few things that are floating in my head that might be of interest.

Funded by V we have 20 young people working 4 days a week over the next two years. The first five have just started working with us part of the Vtalent year programme. Their brief is broad - they are here to work on sexual health campaigning and it is their role with the project manager to scope, define and fund, execute and evaluate their work. I was invited to come and listen to their work.

They have done some really brilliant thinking about the reality of growing up as a young person in todays world and what helps and prevents young people developing sexual and relationship confidence and competence. The quality and quantity of work done by five people in such a short amount of time is remarkable and I am excited about the potential power and impact of their work in the future.

I am proud of the way the team within the office has really quickly adapted the way they work to offer help and support, as well as learn from the young people we have the privilege of working with us on a day to day basis.

We also kick started the process of involving young people in preparing for our annual conference in March 2010. The theme next year is gender. My assertion and belief is that unless we bring gender centre stage and use our understanding of gender stereotypes and expectations to inform all of our policy and practice development we will fail on our policy objectives of reducing teenage pregnancy and improving sexual health and the quality of relationships. A group of young people are setting off on a project to provide conference delegates with a first hand view 0f growing up as a boy or growing up as a girl in the 21st century. Asked what i was expecting them to tell us, I truly do not know what they will say - having been involved in many projects about gender about 15 years ago, I am waiting with anticipation to see what is the same and what is different.

Following the gender theme, in 2004 Amnesty International launched a global campaign to Stop Violence Against Women and campaigned with others to get rape recognised as a war crime. In June last year the UN passed resolution 1820 that recognises rape as a war crime that undermines peace and security. This resolution is a major achievement and the resolution needs sustained support and commitment from governments to ensure that rape is stopped. This eyewitness account from Nepal emphasises the importance of all us doing what we can to support the campaign -

'An officer ordered five of his men to take her to a nearby cowshed. At 5 am Reena was taken out and three shots were heard. Villagers found her naked body after the security forces left the village. Bloodstains on her discarded clothes and underwear indicated that she had been raped before she was killed.'

Finally Lionel Shrivers, the author of 'You need to talk to Kevin' was interviewed in last Saturdays Guardian. She really made me think about relationships with parents, how they change over time, and how important it is to stop reverting to a teenage/parent relationship when one is with them - which I find it remarkably easy to do sometimes. Talking about how a a novel she wrote hurt her family and their relationship, she says 'accustomed to trying to win the approval of my parents, I under appreciated how much parents yearn for the approval of their children, too.' The next day I was listening to a radio programme about children who were the first to go to University in their family and some of the challenges the families faced in understanding each other.

It was a sobering listen as people allowed deep misunderstanding and assumptions to hurt relationships within the family. This came on the back of my brothers wedding which was brilliant day, and where I saw the overwhelming pride and love of my parents, and lots of family who I hadn't seen for far long. As I listened to the programme I felt bad about the times I got a bit above myself when I first went to college and learnt so many new things, grateful my family put up with it, were proud of it and put me back in my box from time to time, and resolved to make sure that this Christmas there would be no retreating to 1988 and my folks know how much I approve of and value them deeply.

Astounding judgement on abortion data

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 11:02:00 +0000

On Thursday the Information Tribunal ruled that Department of Health must release statistical data on abortions that take place after 24 weeks owing to foetal abnormality. This comes at the end of a six year effort from Department of Health to ensure that the confidentiality of the small number of women who have to make an incredibly difficult decision to terminate their pregnancy at a late stage of gestation is protected.

The Department of Health stopping publishing the data in 2003 after the Reverend Joanna Jepson asked the Metropolitan Police to investigate a case which led to a doctor being identified and targeted by an anti choice organisation .

I had been expecting the judgement imminently, however you know when you are shocked and have to reread an email a few times to be sure you have read it right - this was one of those emails. I was particularly surprised that the judgement went against the DH because when the case was being heard in the Courts, a high profile doctor who carried out abortions in the USA was shot dead by an individual who opposed his work - and whilst there is a different culture here there is no doubt that individuals can and do get targeted in the UK as well.

That is why both Brook and fpa have urged the DH to take this case to the high court. If a small number of women and their doctors are going to be failed by a system which potentially allows anti abortion groups to identify and put pressure on individuals then I for one want to be sure that everything that could possibly be done to stop this incredibly damaging move has been done.

Young people's perceptions of alcohol

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:59:00 +0000

Last week I made reference to the Labour Party Conference being proof that young people learn about alcohol from the way adults around them drink - because they are sad, happy, upset, furious, or of course, for no other reason than they want a drink. My experience and behaviour at the Conservative Party Conference was similar - very late nights and too much to drink at least once, possibly twice.

Last week the British Youth Council launched a report about young people's experiences of alcohol, Sex and drinking - young people's experiences. As part of the report a survey of 1,000 young people found that there were strong links between drinking alcohol and having unsafe sex, almost one in three young people said the first time they had sex they had been drinking, and of these one in five would not have had sex if they were sober.

This supports what we already know that if young people have been drinking they are more likely to regret having sex and less likely to use contraception.

Most of the young people surveyed agreed that advice and information about avoiding drinking which might lead to having unsafe or regretted sex should be available in sexual health clinics. And of course, that is already happening in some places in both education and clinical services.

Brook has produced a new 'alcohol version' of our Have fun, be careful poster to remind young people if they are going to have sex to always use a condom to protect against unplanned pregnancy and STIs (see www.brook.org.uk for further information).

Posters, leaflets and discussions in education about the links between sexual risk taking and other drugs is crucial, but it is not the task. The task is to shift our culture around alcohol so young people are learning about safe and responsible drinking from the adults around them.

Sexual health at the party conferences

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 17:47:00 +0000

If you ever need proof that young people take their lessons about alcohol from the adults around them you might just want to visit a political party conference next autumn. There is absolutely no doubt that alcohol is a social lubricant at these affairs.

Tonight I am packing my bag to head off to the Conservative Party Conference in Manchester on the early train tomorrow, reflecting on the questions I want to ask, the people I want to speak to and the answers I want to get. This time last week I was doing the same in preparation for the Labour Party Conference in Brighton.

In Brighton I was pleased at the commitment from Ministers to securing PSHE as a statutory subject. There is no doubt in my mind that there is a desire to get this through the legislative process. I just hope this becomes a reality and will be looking for reassurance from the Conservative Party that they want to see PSHE being statutory and will support it in parliament. Children's personal development and their health and well being is not party political, and particularly in the run up to the general election we have to ensure that it does not become so. The absolute majority of people, parents, professionals and children want schools to deliver high quality Personal, Social and Health Education. Brook among others has been campaigning for a long time to make that happen.

I was particularly pleased to attend a few fringe meetings where young people were involved in a meaningful way, creating and offering solutions to move away from the demonising approach to young people. A young women speaking at The Children's Society fringe meeting about inter generational relations told sad tales of a society that has lost sight of the power and creativity of young people. I was particularly horrified that she had been told by a shop keeper she could not come in because she looked like a thief, and had to endure the sound of a mosquito alarm going off whilst eating Mcdonalds with friends. She was followed by Professor Tanya Byron who gave a compelling presentation and ended by saying she was ashamed of our fearful punitive approach to young people.

We still have a long way to go in ensuring that children and young people are effectively integrated into our policy thinking and discussions. I worry still that either we do not think hard enough in the planning of meetings and the support young people are offered so they cannot be fully involved, or we try so hard to include them that all conversations defer back to young people and they never ever get challenged. Neither approach is good enough and we all still have a long way to go to get youth involvement right.

The National Autistic Society held an excellent fringe on the education of children with autism, and I look forward to following up an early conversation with their CEO about how we can make sure that high quality education for children with autism extends to education about their bodies, relationships and sexual health as well.

I will be leaving Manchester to head back to London on Wednesday where in the evening I am speaking at a meeting about sex and relationships education set up by Dialogue with Islam in the East London Mosque at 6.45. You can find out more from their website www.dialoguewithislam.org

New appointments at Brook

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 15:51:00 +0000

I'm delighted to announce three new appointments at Brook and welcome Eve Martin as Chair, Kathy French as Clinical Director and Lady (Winifred) Tumin CBE who has recently become an ambassador for Brook.

Their knowledge and experience will be a great assest for Brook and I look forward to working with them to take our work forwards and reach many more young people.

Please click here to see the full news release on our website.

Positive voices of young disabled people and sexuality

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 10:52:00 +0000

A brilliant celebration of young disabled people as sexual beings giving a positive voice to a group of young people whose sexual feelings, desires and experiences still remain too often unspoken about or the target of prejudice and misunderstanding.

www.sexsmartfilms.com/free-videos/sex-abled-disability-uncensored

As well as being able to download for free, it can be purchased on DVD for training purposes

The age of consent

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 07:25:00 +0000

Tomorrow Radio 4 will host a debate about the age of sexual consent, which is currently 16. Law professsor John Spencer is reported in the Daily Mail as being set to argue that the current age of consent criminalises 'half the population'.

The guidance to the Sexual Offences Act 2003 is very clear. The Act is not there to criminalise consensual sexual activity amongst young people, although I accept from many people who know far more about legislation than I do, that this Act is not the best conceptualised and leaves too much room for inequitable legislation. This is borne out in some of the calls and letters that I receive from anxious parents whose child has been the subject of unhelpful criminal investigation into consensual sexual activity.

I look forward to the debate tomorrow, but meanwhile I am with young people and Nick, my trainer at the gym who has in recent months become an active debater on teenage pregnancy, sexual assault, sex and the media, who when I asked him this morning what he thought about lowering the age of consent, thought it was probably best 'left as it is'. Even though he can see there is the potential pressure that people feel when they get to 16 to have sex if they have not done so already.

And herein lies at least some of the problem for me, the feeling amongst the young that everyone else is doing it more often, younger and in more daring ways. But to be honest this is not simply the domain of young people. As adults we too, are often consumed with the view that others are 'having it more and better'. And this is about our culture, not the law (although I know of course the law and culture are closely interlinked).

Research shows the practical reality of the age of consent for young people. In all you need is love? sexual morality through the eyes of young people published by National Children's Bureau, Sharpe and Thomson show that whilst the age of consent is not central in young people's decision making about whether and when to have sex - trust and love playing a much greater role - the age of consent does send a message to young people about when as a society we think is a reasonable age to have sex. I have also talked with many many young women and the professionals that work with them about the age of consent over the last decade. The resounding consensus from them is leave it as it is - it is a good negotiating tool that we can use to refuse to have sex should we want to use it.

So on that basis for now, as long as we have adequate safeguards which prevent young people under 16 who are engaged in consensual sexual activity from being criminalised, and those young people who have sex under 16 have access to contraceptive and sexual health services and feel confident using them, my view is lets keep it at 16. I look forward to the Radio 4 programme Iconoclasts tomorrow and listening to see whether there is anything that may make me consider changing my view.

In the meantime foot on the accelerator to create that positive open culture about sex and sexuality.

New website to help influence local sexual health services

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:00:00 +0000

More and more decisions about health services are being made at local level. In response to this Brook has worked with a number of national sexual health organisations to create a new website which will help people lobby, influence and ask questions about local sexual health and contraceptive services. Find out more at www.shoutloud.org.uk

So I urge you to start influencing and sign up to the website now - get your voice heard!

Punk rock

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 20:27:00 +0000

I saw this play last night - remarkably talented young actors in a play which brings into sharp focus the complexities of growing up - anxiety, distress, sex and sexual tension, identity, self harm and bullying as well as resilience and maturity.

In one scene a character tries to console another who is despairing of his peers within the school. She says something along the lines of '99% of young people in this school are nice, and what nobody ever says is 99% of young people are good, don't forget that'.

And as to prove it, today I fell off my bike and needed some help. It was a bit embarrassing sprawled on the road with a Brompton fold up bike wrapped around me. At least twenty people were nearby, mostly adults and it was the two young lads who came to check I was alright and help me up whilst the adults scuttled on by. How I wish some of those adults who damn young people could have seen. More proof that ephibiphobia - the fear of young people - is ill founded.

building confidence in sexual health services - excellent work in Jersey

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 11:29:00 +0000

This weekend myself and a trustee Nicky Trimboy visited Brook in Jersey to meet the director, Chair and another trustee from Jersey to review their successes and current challenges and how well we are all working together in the Brook Network.

We were incredibly impressed with lots of things including the way Brook using PQASSO our quality assurance system to really improve the way they work on an ongoing basis. We were also excited that all year 10 pupils (age 14/15) on Jersey get a school trip to Brook to find out what we do at Brook and what happens if they visit.

The impact of this was evident at Jersey Live Music Festival which we spent some time at afterwards. Two of the Ask Brook team were doing a brilliant job at the stand giving out information about sexual health and safer sex, providing condoms and teaching people how to use them, and telling people about the Brook service in Jersey. They also asked visitors to the stand who came in their hundreds whether they knew about Brook. Lots of them did and a common reply was ‘I went there on the school trip’. Lots of the young people talked about how great the staff were, and one young woman said she hoped she was rich enough to be able to give Brook lots of money because they had been such a help to her so many times.

Imagine how amazing it would be and how much we could improve the confidence of young people in accessing services if all year 10 pupils in every school got a trip to their nearest contraceptive and sexual health service, and when they got there everyone was respectful to them.

It's like a rubber cock.....

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 20:00:00 +0000

said Jon talking about a packer which emulates male genitalia in 'the boy who was born a girl' on Channel 4 tonight. Jon is 16 and was born Natasha. He has gender dysphoria and is undergoing testosterone therapy to trigger male puberty.

Three things are really striking in the programme;

the maturity of Jon, how resilient he is and how much he deserves to experience happiness and to be comfortable in his body

how supportive his mother is and how she takes responsibility for her own emotions which are sometimes diametrically opposed to Jons' and remains completely supportive and proud of Jon

the outstanding ability of people to be cruel and hurt others who are different and the urgent need to create a culture in the UK where bullying and discrimination in schools and communities is unacceptable.

If you didn't see it, get onto the internet and watch it, it is an honest and important documentary that tells the story so far of Jon - one transgender young person - and there are many more without the confidence or support to get help, support and treatment. Only if we break the taboo and stop the silence will we ensure young people born with gender dysphoria get the help and treatment to be happy in their own skin.

Taking sexual health to the festivals

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 20:26:00 +0000

Festivals are an important part of the summer circuit. And alcohol and sex are part of the mix for many festival goers.

On March 6th I wrote about the excellent performance of PJ, one of Brook's young ambassador with Remiidy and Kris at the Brook awards with their song 'Use a Condom'.

This weekend they took it to a wider audience performing live on stage at the Reading Festival. When I saw PJ today he said the performance went very well and that people were coming to the front and taking the free condoms.

At the same time a team from Brook alongside Leeds and Bradford Primary Care Trusts' were working at Leeds Festival providing condoms, emergency contraception, chlamydia screening and information to young people. And the week before a team were at the V festival taking sexual health out to where young people are. This weekend Brook will be at Jersey Live Festival.

We are pleased with the feedback, pleased with the take up of sexual health information, condoms, chlamydia screening and emergency contraception and believe we provided a useful resource for young people and will be looking at how we can have a presence at some of the festivals again next year.

NSPCC report on sexual violence

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 20:04:00 +0000

Sexual bullying and sexual violence has become an increasing policy and practice concern. And the NSPCC today launched an interesting report about the experience of teenage girls in relationships that adds to the evidence as to why this must be a concern. The research, a study of almost 1400 13 - 17 year olds shows that a third of teenage girls suffer unwanted sexual acts in a relationship and a quarter physical violence.

The survey of 13 to 17-year-olds found that nearly nine out of ten girls had been in an intimate relationship. Of these, one in six said they had been pressured into sexual intercourse and 1 in 16 said they had been raped. Others had been pressured or forced to kiss or sexually touch. In addition quarter of girls had suffered physical violence such as being slapped, punched, or beaten by their boyfriends.

Nearly nine out of ten boys also said they had been in a relationship. A smaller number reported pressure or violence from girls. (Only one in seventeen boys in a relationship reported being pressured or forced into sexual activity and almost one in five suffered physical violence in a relationship).

Girls were much more likely to find this behaviour harmful - more than three in every four compared to one in ten boys. Girls also reported that they suffered more repeatedly in relationships and at a younger age.

Sian, one of the girls interviewed for the research, said: "I only went out with him for a week. And then because I didn't want to have sex he just started picking on me and hitting me."

Having an older boyfriend was found to put girls at a higher risk, with three-quarters of them saying they had been victims. Girls from a family where an adult had been violent towards them, one of their parents, or siblings, were also at greater risk.

For boys, having a violent group of friends made it more likely that they would be a victim, or be violent themselves, in a relationship.

Bobby, one of the boys interviewed for the report, said: "I think there's probably more pressure on boys, but if a girl goes out with a lot of people she's called a 'slut' or a 'slag' or something, but if it's a boy he's just one of the lads if he

I have yet to read the full report, but it is clear from what i have read so far that sexual violence is a really important issue and that gender plays a really significant part in the way young people understand and navigate their sexual relationships.

That is why Brook's annual conference on March 4th 2010 is focusing on gender. To find out more about the conference BoyGirlManWoman - putting gender at the heart of sexual health and teenage pregnancy work email events@brook.org.uk

Stroke my face (and X factor)

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:13:00 +0000

I had a surprising moment in Marks and Spencers last week. It surprised me anyway. I was getting some food for my train journey. My next train wasn't due to leave for 30 minutes as I had just missed one, the sun was shining and I was feeling happy. It was obvious the woman behind me in the queue was in a rush and so I ushered her to go in front of me. As she went past, she stroked my face and said something along the lines of 'aren't you gorgeous and lovely too, thank you sweetheart'.

I felt myself recoil at the touch and blush badly at the compliment. I also regressed in feelings to that age where people feel it necessary to say 'how much he has grown; what gorgeous eyes he has etc' as though you are not stood there. At the same time it generated that nice warm feeling that being appreciated creates.

It is not very often in my experience that strangers touch someone, or get touched in that way. I am not sure that I want it to happen again too soon, but I admire the woman for taking 'the risk' and showing her appreciation.

And I am just watching the first episode of X factor which i recorded on Saturday night. Some courses in self awareness could be beneficial for some of the contestants.

That holiday feeling

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:57:00 +0000

I have just been on two weeks leave - visiting Brighton, Edinburgh and Cornwall. I have taken great pleasure over the last few weeks spending time reading trashy magazines and lots of newspapers. Very interesting, and often nauseating reading all the magazines with strong views about celebrity relationships. I have gone cold turkey on those magazines now!

I was delighted when I met someone who when I told them I worked at Brook said they had used Brook's services in Belfast and had a fantastic experience. Always a pleasure to get feedback in unexpected places. Coincidentally this is the second time i have been on my holidays and meeting someone who has used Brook in Northern Ireland and had a great experience - last time I was on an aeroplane back from Australia and the young woman sat next to me saw me doing some work, asked me what I did and when I told her she was so full of praise for the staff.

Sticking with Northern Ireland, at the Edinburgh festival my favourite show was the Chronicles of Long Kesh, a play about the HM Maze Prison used to house paramilitary prisoners during the Northern Irish Troubles. The 6 actors played the whole range of characters with incredible skill. I have talked about the play a lot since seeing it - and people have very different reactions to it depending on their view. I was incredibly taken by the small windows into the often chilling impact of the 'Troubles' on interpersonal and intimate relationships between men, their wives and their children. The film 'hunger' about the same prison is very good too.

The sun didn't shine too much in Cornwall but I did stand up on a surf board (whilst in the sea) for at least 8 seconds.

Holiday reads;

Small Island by Andrea Levy

Starting Over by Tony Parsons

Incendiary by Chris Cleve

All of them fantastic in different ways.

Remembering the feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:34:00 +0000

I went to to the beach closest to my childhood home in Cornwall last weekend. I spent a fair amount of time wondering whether to say hello to people in my class, my year and my school, and having no choice but to say hello and enjoy conversation with others.

What really struck me was the level and intensity of feelings associated with my youth that seeing one person, talking about another, or being reminded of a situation with friends in that area. For me being young was a good time - a time of freedom and choice, rights and responsibilities, romantic (or not) adventures, lots and lots of laughing and comedy, cool at the time, clothing in an effort to express myself. I often talk of remembering what it feels like to be young and last week I had no choice, the feelings all came gushing back. For me it was a good time. As the recession hits us, all of us, parents, uncles, friends and workers have to do everything we can to ensure that being 15, 16 and 17 is a good time for as many young people as possible. One young person wisely told me a few years ago - I don't want to be treated like a kid, but don't expect me to behave like an adult either.

Being young and all that can come with it - adventures, mistakes, first love, first relationships, education, new experiences - should be a privilege and a pleasure, and adults play an important part in making it so.

Angus, thongs and perfect snogging - good SRE material

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 20:32:00 +0000

I have just watched this film. Perfect fodder for stimulating great discussion with young people about growing up, sexual feelings, fancying people, love, rejection, divorce, integrity and trust.

It was a great antidote to cleaning my flat after the team bbq yesterday, followed by a rather tumultuous 5 hour experience at a car boot sale helping one of my best friends fend off people behaving badly in search of a bargain.

Getting the balance right - the good bits and the bad

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 20:34:00 +0000

Over the last few days I have had some remarkably interesting conversations with journalists about sexual pleasure in response to a booklet for professionals called 'pleasure' published by NHS Sheffield. All of the journalists have had different perceptions about the booklet, often depending on whether they had read it, or on their view about young people and sex.

Whatever their view what has interested me is that people are able to take this out of context and be surprised that we should talk about pleasure as part of the mix with young people. Yes of course we should be talking to them about the risks of having unprotected sex, yes we must talk to them about pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, yes we must talk to them about exploitation and about coercion.

But as one young person said, 'if sex is only about getting an infection or about getting pregnant when you don't want to, why do people do it. It must be fun as well'. And when I was in Holland two years ago when I spoke to young people, young men and young women, it was clear that they did expect sex to be fun, to be a positive experience. They did expect, and were expected to have sex with people they trust.

And as Kristen Luker, a eminent researcher in the USA says, you get what you expect from young people - if we expect them to enjoy and take responsibility for the sex they have, they will. If we expect them to make bad decisions they will.

So, for me the remarkable bit about the conversations I have had, is the accusation that this is liberal lefty nonsense and the sense that we can promote sexual responsibility by frightening young people about pregnancy and STI's. As young adults if someone had told me and many of my peers that sex should be emotionally satisfying it would have been incredibly helpful!

As parents, family members and professionals we must ensure young people know sex should be rewarding and satisfying, emotionally and physically, and if it isn't they should be asking do they want to do it at all.

It's Not Fair

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 09:44:00 +0000

Lily Allen's "it's not fair" is a great song to stimulate discussion about relationships, gender and sexual pleasure. It is important to recognise the importance of this type of honesty and confidence about her sexual and emotional life. You can watch the video for this song at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUYaosyR4bE

Interesting articles in the Observer today

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 20:04:00 +0000

There are some interesting articles in the Observer Woman Magazine today.

An interview with Tori Amos deals with power - 'What I know about men' talks about power 'real power is about exchange, not subordination. For some people a powerful man is a bully. He's powerful because he scares people. And I would say that is not a powerful man - that's an intimidating man, a man who uses intimidation tactics. A powerful man is a man that knows e is and doesn't want to intimidate people to get what he wants.

There is also an interesting interview with Monica Seles, the tennis player, who was violently attacked on a tennis court in the early nineties. The article talks about her eating disorder, the process of taking back control and coming to terms with the death of her father. Her new book Getting to Grips, sounds like a potentially interesting read.

Beth Ditto, the lead singer of Gossip is interviewed. She is a lesbian from Arkansas, described by many as weird. Her grounded sense of self really shines through. On being described as normal she says 'when I go home I am normal. This is what all my friends are doing. There are tons of fat people who are gay and make music and love clothes.....everything that you think is weird is normal to me.'

Finally there is an article about the potential of male circumcision to impact positively on rates of HIV and sexually transmitted infections. It is an important article that highlights the challenge of getting public health messages right - making sure they are understood by the public. It also poses the challenge of trusting people to use information well and take responsibility for their sexual health - something we can find incredibly difficult and leads to a paternalistic approach to health promotion.

The event

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:13:00 +0000

I have just been training ahead of the British 10k next week (you can sponsor me and support Brook at www.justgiving.com/10feetrunningforbrook

It was hot and I was pleased to finish running for the day. Around the edge of the park there is one of those now common place signs that tell you about traffic problems, or events in the West End. Normally it is quite specific. For example, sticking to the theme of running, not long ago it told you to avoid central London because of the marathon. Today it just said avoid the West End as there is an 'event'. I may be being cynical or suspicious, maybe the letters P-R-I-D-E really were not working today. Except of course there are two e's in event which blow that theory. So is it because PRIDE is a gay event that the detail was not provided? Who knows.

I mentioned it to a friend, who was obviously in a more generous mood, who said maybe it is in case the sign would encourage protesters. I leave you to decide.

On a different note, I have just finished reading 'the other hand' by Chris Cleave. A really remarkable book which I recommend completely. I would tell you a bit about it, but on the back of the book it says ' we don't want to tell you what happens in this book. It is a truly special story and we don't want to spoil it.'

New TPIAG briefing on young people's contraceptive and sexul health services

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:09:00 +0000

The Teenage Pregnancy Independent Advisory Group (TPIAG) has published a useful briefing for strategic leaders of local children and young people's partnerships on young people's contraceptive and sexual health services. The link to the document is http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/_download/?id=6149.

Young people’s sexual health is a key policy concern and the briefing includes information on why local areas should invest in contraception and sexual health services for young people to reduce teenage conception rates, as well as information on the funds from central government. It also includes the key factors, levers and frameworks which will help in commissioning effective services for young people.

Conservative policy review on sexual health

noreply@blogger.com (Simon Blake) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 14:16:00 +0000

David Bull has been appointed to lead a policy review on sexual health for the Conservative Party - it is important that it is being given a focus. Having had some mixed signals over the past year from different shadow Ministers and Conservative MPs, I am looking forward to the report to get a clear idea of what Conservative policy on sexual health and teenage pregnancy really is.