the buddha soliloques

POST WOMEN'S DAY GIG, MUMBAI

2013-03-07T00:54:00.002+05:30

Come join us for a relaxed, non-Bollywood set at Renaissance, Powai, Mumbai on the 9th of March 2013. I'll be trying something different for a change, hence my excitement :)

9/03: Post Women's Day Gig. ShilpaRao & Friends: @karshkalemusic @nandinisrikar @apekshadandekar @monalithakur03 & I. Renaissance,Powai 10PM

— Meiyang Chang (@MeiyangChang) March 6, 2013

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ALCOHOL ;)

2013-01-18T01:57:00.000+05:30

So even though this TV commercial is about 5 months old, I just realised I never shared it with you! Gosh, I do hope it doesn't come across as too much self-pimping but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do ;)

I don't drink much. I have an alcohol allergy (unbelievable though it may sound) and so I keep my intake to a minimum and my social drinking stints few & far in between. And trust me, I was drunk but only in one scene for my role as the alcoholic Zing in Badmaash Company. However, this commercial is not about that (even though it is for... ahem... a popular brand of alcohol) but about friendship and the fun moments that come with it. I had a great time shooting for it with Farhan Akhtar, Purab Kohli & Cyrus Sahukar and learnt some nuances just by observing Farhan. Here's a man who doesn't overdo one bit, is a complete natural & yet does not come across as underwhelming in his films. Those of you who know him know that he's a fantastic director with a very clear, modern vision. I like the fact that he makes fun, youthful films with a cinematic edge and an underlying message without being preachy. I'd love to work with him some day. It'd be an absolute privilege. There, I said it ;) Now let the Gods hear me!

Ah well, gotta rush now. Must sleep enough to be alert enough for an important audition tomorrow. Hope you like the TVC if you haven't seen it already :) Cheerios!

RUNNING FOR A CAUSE; THE STANDARD CHARTERED MUMBAI MARATHON ON 20TH JANUARY, 2013

2013-01-13T12:20:00.001+05:30

Only one more week to go & lots of funds to be raised! So without intending to sound like a politician campaigning for votes, I appeal to you to step forward & contribute to this noble cause.

Contribute HERE: http://www.unitedwaymumbai.org/1597-meiyang-chang.htm

The proceeds go to Concern India Foundation who in turn will ensure that they are used judiciously & transparently for the welfare of the elders in need. You can have a look at the good work they have been up to at here at http://www.concernindiafoundation.org/

Change someone's life for the better. It'll feel special :) Please share & spread the word

MAKING IT A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR THOSE WHO MATTER

2013-01-10T14:26:00.001+05:30

Wishing you all a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Can you feel it in the air? The concept of a New Year may be cliched & over-hyped but there's no denying the joy & optimism it fills one with. And it is with this positive thought in our minds that we must take our first step forward in 2013.

In my previous post, I'd mentioned I'm running for the Mumbai Marathon to raise funds for the elderly through Concern India Foundation. With 10 days to go for it, I urge you to continue helping me raise funds that will make life more comfortable for our elderly folks, those who have been an integral part of our lives & who deserve a happy, fulfilling walk into the sunset.

Please contribute at http://goo.gl/dLsZg ☺ for a good, transparent cause in this good new year. Do share & spread the word.

You can also have a look at the good work Concern India Foundation has been up to at here at http://www.concernindiafoundation.org/

Aside, I do wish all of us leave negativity & bad news, if any, of last year behind and start afresh as if this year BELONGS to us. God bless & God speed ☺☺☺

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME

2012-12-14T19:30:00.001+05:30

Friends & well-wishers, this blog has always been about what is going on in my mind & life. Some of them have been deep & meaningful; others, superficial & shallow. This short post, however, is about a strong belief & I would request you to patiently go through it.

I am running the Mumbai Marathon 2012 in the capacity of a Dream Maker, supporting the cause of the Care for Elders via Concern India Foundation. The elders don't need our pity but they do deserve our selfless support in making the twilight of their lives a joyous one. It is imperative that we be there for them when they need us the most. For our elders have, for far too long, given us their all so that we could thrive, even at the cost of their own lives & desires. It is only fitting that we help them in every way we can. While taking care of them in a personal capacity & treating them well is the best thing you can do as a human being, reaching out to help those you can't aid directly is the next best step.

Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon 2013

To this end, I have pledged to raise necessary funds for Concern India Foundation who will ensure its judicious distribution & make the elders they reach out to, self-sufficient & as fiercely independent as they were in their youth. These funds will make resources & medical facilities more easily accessible to those in need, and God knows there are many of them out there.

Please support me by contributing to this noble venture. You can click on the following link to donate:

http://www.unitedwaymumbai.org/1597-meiyang-chang.htm

For something you believe in, no contribution is too small. I've already made mine, monetarily & otherwise. I now urge you, my well-wishers & friends to open your hearts & make someone's life better.

DREAM DESTINY

2012-09-10T01:09:00.001+05:30

You've heard this one before. I've read it at different places at different times & texts, but when I put the two together, it makes more sense than it does individually.

"To make it big, you must dream big. And to turn your dreams into reality, you must wake up & go for it"

Remember when as children, someone would ask us what we wanted to be when we grew up? We'd give answers like "astronaut, scientist, movie star" & the people wouldn't take it seriously, terming them as ridiculous. Why were these fantasies deemed so? Why were they dismissed as the ramblings of one who did not know what they were talking about? Who is to say that if a child wants to become the biggest media mongul in the world, they can't? I feel that as we grow up, we begin to limit ourselves to focusing so much on a single-minded life that we forget that we are more than just a 9-to-5 job, that we are beings of infinite possibilities. In school & college, most of us handled academics, extra-curricular activities, sports & then some more with equal panache. Then what is stopping us now from going beyond it? The burden of age? Extra responsibilities? Lack of time? Really, is that the best excuse you can come up with?

I stepped outside my comfort zone of art & music and began exploring public speaking, debates & theatre whilst in school. Then after college, I moved from a possibly lucrative & secure profession like Dentistry to an uncertain, volatile but creatively fulfilling one that I breathe in today. Within this, I moved from what I knew I was good at (singing) to something I took a risk with (public speaking & acting) and then something I was petrified of (dancing)! There is so much to do yet, and I'm no star. There are people who've done much better & bigger and they are beacons of inspiration for us. They show us that if you will it, it will happen.

All of this might sound pretty fantastic and it is! It's not easy at all, but its not impossible either. And when has anything easy ever been fun? Remember, the joy lies more in the challenge than in the prize. When I speak to you through my words, I'm also having a conversation with myself to birth inspiration. Tough as it may seem to do so much, it would be grave injustice to waste a single moment or opportunity in our lives, whatever the outcome or degree of success might be. We have one life, and we must live it to the fullest. Our interpretation of that could be limited, and it widens every single day we're truly "alive". Learn, read, write, observe, travel, experiment, take risks, be unreasonable, DARE! Soak all life has to offer. Be a sponge, not a duck's back.

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying to make the world adapt to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man." George Bernard Shaw

I remember dreaming big as a kid. As a child, it wasn't about riches or success; those are dreams we get programmed to have once we start growing up & start believing that survival, wealth & power are all there is to in this world (which, by the way isn't true). My initial dreams were colorful like most Hindi films; no story to speak of but with lush, open, gigantic spaces/structures which you could drink eyefuls of. I interpret that as the freedom of my mind, unfettered, uncluttered and willing to explore. That has been responsible for my exploring new avenues in spite of being settled in what I am.

I want to be a man who never stopped dreaming, for in our subconscious lies our bare desires, unmasked by norms & notions. We all have the capacity to outdo ourselves & exceed our wildest expectations. We just don't know how powerful we are, or how fantastic our mind is which can overcome every damned hurdle. Self-doubt is the dark cloud that obscures our ability to deliver & the best of people suffer from this. These are vulnerable moments which suck at you like parasites, making you believe in everything but your own worth. Mind you, it's not a disability; rather it only proves you're human. Nevertheless, the fear of failure is debilitating & can stop us from taking those chances that could change our lives, mostly for good. This monster must be overcome & slain, for it is not undefeatable.

I could quote more wise men from over the centuries but since I'm a huge Batman & Christopher Nolan fan, I'll quote from Batman Begins, the first of the Dark Knight trilogy:

"Why do we fall Bruce? So that we learn to pick ourselves up"

In each of us lies the strength to overcome all odds, against all odds.
Tell me now, what kind of a person do YOU want to be?

Dream, my friend. Dream the big dream. And when you wake up, work hard & smart to make that dream a reality. I will continue dreaming big, and so should you.

A slight modification to one of my favorite quotes: "Reach for the skies. For even if you miss, you'll still be among the stars, far above the barren land of buried ambitions."

खुदी को कर बुलन्द इतना
कि हर तक़दीर से पहले
खुदा बन्दे से खुद पूछे
बता, तेरी रज़ा क्या है

THE GIRL IN WHITE

2012-09-07T04:03:00.001+05:30

Artwork by Samatha Zaza : www.cldfx.com

Let me narrate a recurring memory in my life. There was a senior of mine in Wynberg Allen (a boarding school in Mussoorie where I finished my Plus 2), who I deemed the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world. Now there could be many reasons for that. I'd been in a boys' school for 8 years and hadn't seen too many pretty girls. Heck, I'd hardly seen any girls till then. Nevertheless, there was something special about her. Perhaps, it was her confidence in the knowledge that she was desired by pretty much all the boys at school. Perhaps it was her natural athleticism, or that she could look so beautiful in spite of no make up & with the compulsory, nerdy double-plait. Every time I'd lay my eyes on her, I'd blush. The warm, comforting sunshine of Mussoorie had nothing to do with it. Rather, it seemed to dim every time she'd walk by, as if paying homage to a form more radiant than itself!

I was a painfully shy boy in school, and she seemed to enjoy that. She'd deliberately engage me in conversations to see how I'd respond and burst into peals of giggles at my timid reactions. And then one day, fate brought us together in an English play, "The Mousetrap" by Agatha Christie. It had a fantastic premise, a brilliant cast (of which she was one) and a good director in our English professor. I, by virtue of being a meek newbie, was thrust the responsibility of being the prompter (a position no one desired) and I accepted with some degree of glee. It not only allowed me to bunk sports hour to watch a play come to life, with the fleshing out of it's characters but also to see her in the flesh every single day.

I never, for once, had the stomach to tell her how besotted I was, but I guess some things are so obvious that they need not a word. Oh, to silently sit in the wings like a mute, secret admirer and catch a glimpse of her occasionally smiling at me. Yes, it was a massive, MASSIVE crush, and something close had never happened before, never after. When she passed out of school, my first thought was (I kid you not): "How am I going to get through one whole year without seeing her every single morning?" At that tender, innocent age, a term like "this too shall pass" did not exist for me. Heck, for that one crush, it hasn't till today! Since that overwhelmingly cheesy encounter 13 years ago, I have overcome my awkwardness around women & met extremely smart, talented & gorgeous ladies. But something about that time, the circumstances & her face refuses to let up.

What is my one indelible memory of her? Accidentally bumping into her in a dark alley on the eve of the annual Hindi play. I was running late (as usual) and was hurtling full speed down the path to the auditorium when I almost knocked her over; she in resplendent white, like an angel sent from the purest heavens, just for me. She held her breath; she wasn't allowed to be outside & obviously feared being caught. I, on the other hand, was awestruck; arrested by her downcast eyes and the strands of hair blowing over her face. Even though it was dark, I could see her pale skin glow ever so bright. And I wondered, where is the goddamned background music when you really need it? We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, locked our breathless gazes for the briefest of moments and walked our ways. And to think that this could happen only in a film! Those surreal moments stay locked in my memory to this day...

I wonder where she is today. All attempts to trace her have lead to nought in this seemingly small world. Then again, perhaps I'm not meant to find her. Because some memories are best left unperturbed, fresh as they were in the morning dew in the hills of Mussoorie...

OF FEARS AND DREAMS

2012-08-08T01:43:00.000+05:30

Tim Burton's Infinite Dream by Delirium77.deviantart.com

I've believed for the longest time possible that my greatest fear is that of drowning, for that's how close I've come to death not once, but twice (aged 6 and 21)! But then, a recurring dream has made me reconsider. And since there's no one around who'd analyze it (definitely not looking for Freudian analyses), I have come to the conclusion that it stems from a fear of being unprepared.

This fear is not so uncommon. It invades the private realms of everyone's dreams; at least once in our lifetime. Me? I've lost count. And every time, it plays out a hauntingly familiar pattern.

I'm back in school/college, walking around nonchalantly in a buzzing crowd of excited students. There is a palpable tension in the air & I can't fathom what the fuss is all about. I enquire about it & the answer makes my blood freeze. There's an examination I knew nothing about, or one whose preparation I have repeatedly postponed, in five minutes. I panic! I want to scream but alas, it's a soundless dream.

A dream.

Just a dream.

Wake up!

WAKE UP!!!

One would think that being suckered many a times would alert you that it is indeed a dream the next time you have it. But fear is stronger than reason, which is why it trumps common sense again and again and again. And teaches you something about yourself. There are no prizes for guessing what must be done to conquer that fear. A dream is a technicolored manifestation of our innermost thoughts. Whether that lesson is imbibed or not, remains to be seen in thoughts & actions thereforth.

Heed your dreams; they sure aren't mere unconscious entertainment!

I'd sure hate to have this one again though...

ALIVE AGAIN!

2012-04-19T02:21:00.000+05:30

I know at the end of my last post, I'd promised my next one would be in a lighter vein. I guess that was not to be. What one writes also reflects their inner state of mind & mine has been pretty muddled. Lately, I haven't been myself. I'm not the quintessential happy-go-lucky guy but I do believe I know how to take most things with a pinch of salt (Those that I don't, pinch the people around me in a nasty manner beyond description). However, I'd been in a dark space of mind for the last month and could not find joy in anything & in anyone's company. Perhaps what best described my predicament were these lines from Shakespeare's Hamlet, where the protagonist confesses that "I have, of late, but wherefore I know not- lost all my mirth" or lyricist Amitabh Bhattacharya's questioning words in a song for Dev D: "Kahaan Chali Gayi Hai Saali Khushi" (where has the bloody happiness gone?). I even went as far as to wonder if I was suffering from a mild form of Anhedonia!!! Silly me!

A dear friend, Maryna Langenhoven from South Africa, had this advice for me when she sensed that mere consolatory words would not suffice:

"It always helps to get distance, so objectivity can step in. Keep the objectivity, and clarity will step in."

Well said Maryna. In your words, even though I could not put my finger on the reason for my listlessness, I did realise that I needed to go away from my current surroundings, to travel again; to have time to myself, to ask myself some questions & to count my blessings.

*****

Giraffe spotting at the Nairobi National Park

Nairobi is where I always find my laughter; where I unearth my happiness, where I rediscover my inner peace. I also lovingly call it my sasuraal (in-laws home), as there was a time when I would be here twice in a year. So it was but natural that after a gig in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania (where the highlight was a melliflous, poetic evening by bhajan specialist Anup Jalota), I could think of nothing but visiting my friends in Nairobi. A phone call & flight schedule change later, I was with good friend Shelina, whose hospitality is well-known in Kenya and around the world, her gorgeous national-level swimmer daughter Talisa, passionate musician Alisha & the rest of the lovely extended family. I've been to Nairobi before & have done the safari routine (though a visit to Masaimara is yet on the cards), so this trip was purely for sit-down, meaningful conversations & to reflect on life. The weather was alternately pleasantly warm & cloudy and the first day/night went by in a joyful blur, with a relaxed few hours at home and then a 21st Birthday party which went on into the early hours & had everyone from teenagers to the elders having a good time. I danced till my feet ached & my mind was full only of happy thoughts.

From Left to Right: Alisha, Shelina, Talisa and their adorable dogs Whisper & Diesel

On a glum rainy afternoon the next day, news of two boys dying in a car accident was broken to the family. It turned out that they were the same energetic, full of life blokes from last night's party who were heavily intoxicated when they departed this world. A heaviness descended on the conversation as the ever-obvious but seldom realized fact dawned upon us: life is unpredictable & can be mercilessly cut short, if that's what's written in our destiny. A sombre afternoon was to be in store for us. It definitely wasn't the most ideal thing to happen in view of what mood I was in.

But later that night, once the pall of gloom had lifted, a fantastic lunch had been had & a terrible, terrible Bollywood comedy half-watched, a barrage of emotional thoughts flooded an impassioned conversation I & Alisha were having about music & life in general. Even as we listened to a neat live band Calabash at the Black Diamond (where the lead guitarist played a compelling solo with his teeth!!!!), we animatedly discussed the futility of putting off life till later. The events of earlier that day had permeated into our thoughts. Why wait for tomorrow, or five, even ten years in the future when today, right now is all that we might have? Shouldn't we open our hearts to every moment we're alive in and face both joy & adversity with a zeal, a smile & a realization that life is short but beautiful, that we must learn something from every experience, good or bad? In the haze of music & good alcohol, we promised we'd live our lives to the fullest!

The Calabash Band. That's the lead guitarist playing with his teeth! Alisha as guest vocalist

As we laughed, marveled at the guitarist, grooved along with the enthusiastic Calabash (who've been playing together for over 15 years but still performs witha lot of love & laughter) I even got approached by a woman of questionable intentions!!! With mirth & mischief in my soul, I slept well that night, one of the few times in the recent past.

The following day brought about a quick visit to the National Park. One of the spots brought back long-lost memories of a picnic I'd had there with my erstwhile disbanded music group F4. Was that really four years ago? And had we actually thought our fellowship would last forever? There was foolish optimism & relentness passion in our dreams back then. While the passion is still raging strong four years later, standing at that summit I wondered where the years had gone by.

The angel who walked into my heart while it had wandered away in old memories. Nairobi National Park

Some curio shopping later (which involved a lot of bargaining!!!!), I was already on my way back to the airport. Oh, that sinking feeling when you must go back when you clearly don't want to... I must say, from personal experience, that it is worse than any heartbreak ;) The goodbyes weren't tearful but a person's hug can tell you a lot about how much they are going to miss you. They were heartily received, and lovingly given in return. True enough, I would miss them all...

Maya and I at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport

As I waited to board my flight back to Mumbai, I noticed a most heartwarmingly adorable & gorgeous 6 year old prancing around. Her name was Maya & she is easily one of the most energetic, happy, camera-friendly children I've ever come across. She confidently yet innocently chatted with most waiting passengers, took her mark & raced against herself! She'd be back soon, panting & refusing to acknowledge that she was tired. Rather, she'd remark that all that running made her feel alive! Uncannily enough, I was listening to "You're beautiful" by Nikhil D'souza. Looking at Maya, I couldn't help but think that this song could easily have been about this beautiful child, whose real beauty was her innocence! As usual, the thinker in me couldn't stop ruminating: what happens to the child in us when we grow up? Where does that spotless innocence go? It would of course be foolish to behave like a child when one's past a certain age but we can still retain our childlike goodness, can't we? Or are we duty-bound to become crafty, cunning & deceitful to survive in a world overrun by the the wicked?

Nairobi does that to me. It makes me think, a lot!

Of course, the city is not all rose-tinted. It's not the safest of places, especially for the rich; their houses are spectacularly fortified. So while you marvel at how spacious & tasteful their interiors are, you can't not see the barbwires, the high tension cables, the numerous security guards, barricades, CCTVs, iron safety doors & motion-detecting sensors. But that's all compensated for by a generally genial air, all year round good weather, a laidback attitude, the greenery and good people. This is where I've always had time to sit back, think positively and take back happy memories. With so much love, joy & beauty around me, I realised that whatever had troubling me was way too insignificant and unworthy of my attention in the grand scheme of things.

As I trudged on towards the aircraft, I saw something that brightens every compulsive traveller's day: this signboard, which depicts a hope of coming back again, a chance to meet old friends & an opportunity to make new ones, never saying goodbye...

Nairobi, you never fail to liven my spirits. Thank you my friends for giving me a place in your house & hearts. With you, I find my serenity again...

SING OUT LOUD FOR A HEALTHY DEBATE!

2012-02-08T13:54:00.001+05:30

Wouldn't you agree if I told you that the bathroom is the best place to sing a song? What with the intimate comfort of the space, the unmatchable acoustics & the chill/warmth of the shower/bucket bath as you polish your set of pipes: this is where I first thought I could sing!!! (And, I'm sure, so have many of you). Ask me to sing off-hand & I might hesistate. Put me on stage or stand outside my bathroom door & you'll hear a different me. This was the place where I did most of my riyaaz before going for the Indian Idol auditions! This is the spot where in hotels around the world, I find my solace before going on stage or in the recording studio.

However, a bathroom can be highly misleading, having you believe that you're better than you actually are! It's quite akin to two hypothetical scenarios in our daily lives:

One: you're a Frog in the well. You're the master of your domain & no one is mightier than thou, because you have no one to compete with & no one to tell you whether you're right or wrong, good or bad.

Two: you're surrounded by people who

love you (and will praise you no matter what. After all, you're the apple of their eye)
loathe you (their praise is spiteful & meant to hinder your progress)
have something to gain from you (will praise even your goofball errors)
are in a compulsive habit of lying or showering excessive praise.

Like a bathroom, all the above scenarios give you absolute comfort & a sense of invincibility. But step out of the bathroom, put yourself out there in front of strangers, in difficult situations and you'll know your true worth. Figuratively speaking, throw yourself into the ocean and then learn how to swim. Yes, it is imperative that you be prepared for what you undertake; it'd be foolhardy not to be. But more often than not, you have to take that risk, that initiative which will set you apart from the crowd. It is also important to periodically conduct a self-check, know where you stand and not get swayed by the strong current of applause. Remember, a 1000000000000 folks will tell you you're good. Only a select few will genuinely point out your flaws so that you can work on them. And one of them should be you!

Listen to all, absorb the worthy and apply the absolutes.

And while you're at it, please do continue singing in the bathroom. Who knows what miracles it might seed ♫♫♫

Picture courtesy: www.pinkkiddo.tumblr.com

*****

There is a reason why it's called a "healthy" debate. When two or more people indulge in dialogue, better ideas emerge amidst a lot of necessary & unnecessary chaos. What we learn by rote in school & college, what we read in the papers and hear on television is all nice & dandy but futile unless we stop accepting everything that's offered to us on a platter and start asking questions out of sheer curiosity. This thought was also sparked by an article dated January 30th 2012 in DNA by Patralekha Chatterjee, and I quote,

"How many schools in (India) encourage their students to look at a subject from multiple perspectives or train them in writing an argumentative essay? It is clear that most schools have little time for this approach. Rarely do young people get an opportunity to examine a subject from multiple, often conflicting points of view before making up their minds."

How true! Build your own questions & also lend an ear to what others have to say. If one has the gift of filtering through the clutter, they inadvertently find humor & viable solutions to the most desperate of situations. Which is why I like reading the responses of readers to articles on various websites. The common citizen has a lot of questions & not surprisingly, many solutions as well. It's always easier to sound someone off & proffer unsolicited advice but one can't deny that some of these solutions are actually very prudent. An article about the deferment of the Ayodhya verdict last year carried reports of how a faction of the nation was weary of the unending conflict and proposed a hospital be built on the disputed site which would be called Ram Janmabhoomi Babri Masjid hospital! Controversial, debatable, but nevertheless an amicable thought. (Of course, India is a democracy & such a decision needs be a democratic one as well, weighing the pros and cons and not, as someone pointed out on the forum, a "rich-o-cratic" one). The point being, would such a suggestion have come without the willingness to have a dialogue? NO, is the answer. Ideas like these might or might not be the panacea we seek, but they are the realisation that there are viable opinions beyond our own. And believe me that when I write these lines to you, I also write them to me, because this is a life lesson we'd do well to imbibe

Phew! Chang Baba seems to have gone into a philosophical overdrive today. I promise the next blog post will be in a lighter vein. Till then, adios & God bless.

RUMINATION, INTROSPECTION, INSPIRATION

2012-01-24T01:23:00.000+05:30

Self-captured, Nalanda

Old age is a crippling situation. I do not mean to imply that it need be pitied. Far from it! I know of many fiercely independent & strong-willed oldies (my grandmother included) who'd put youngsters to shame with their grit & zest for life and would hate to live life as a liability or an extended limb. However, the deterioration of bodily functions that afflicts one in old age is something they cannot fight and that's where they need our love & concern rather than our pity. But what brought about this rumination, you might ask? It was perhaps a series of events involving strangers & loved ones that occurred in the recent past.

Just the other day, an old gentleman collapsed on the street as I was buying breakfast. The generous people of Mumbai came to his aid (as they always do when someone's in need of it, God bless them). High blood pressure, someone said. Low blood sugar, said another. Someone used onion-therapy to bring him to his senses & another rushed to fetch his relatives from the neighbouring street. Yet another person arranged for him to be taken to a Doctor & offered his vehicle for the same. While I couldn't help but marvel at their magnanimity & presence of mind, a vortex of sadness engulfed me to see the helplessness of this old gentleman, shuddering at the thought of what would've happened if this had occurred elsewhere, where help was not so forthcoming.

On the same train of thought, a hospital visit genuinely humbles you. I've studied & worked in a Dental hospital for 6 years and even though it is quite an experience, it does not prepare you for a medical ward, neither as a Doctor nor as a patient. It shows you how massive a responsibility the Doctors carry on their shoulders, how strong a medicine hope is but also how some things are beyond our control. There is absolutely nothing a human being can do against the onset of old age & disease. Which is why I was in a distracted state of mind when I recently took my mother & grandmother to a town-side hospital for a medical check-up. Mercifully, there was nothing to worry about. But just to have to go there is daunting indeed. To see your loved ones who've lived life king-size and on their terms suddenly frail & unsure of how long their bodies can withstand the rigors of daily life is heart-wrenching.

I'm sure you feel the same sometimes. You worry for the aged around you. Which is why I appeal to you to lend a hand. Take care of your elders. The smallest of gestures make them happy beyond anything you can imagine. No matter how melodramatic it sounds, do this good deed! You'll only realise it's value when someone returns the favor in your old age...

*****

My Grandmother with the youngest member of the clan: my cousin Shih-mei

I guess the ruminations above were also initiated by something that happened just the other day. As I shot this series of pictures of my adorable naani & her grand-daughter (and my youngest cousin), I realised what a gift of happiness this moment was for her. With all her children in different cities and me not being to able to spend much time with her either until lately, it is but obvious that she must feel extremely bored & lonely at times. So when we had some relatives visit on us on the occasion of the Chinese New Year, she, like a magician, produced some letters dating back to 1991 written by me to her. Full of crooked letters & innocent banter, they were yellowed but preserved otherwise by her in mint condition, as if posted only yesterday. And then she took out what seemed like folded chits of paper no bigger than conventional post-it notes. There were childlike illustrations of comic book super-heroes, only one on each carefully folded piece of paper. And when she told me the story behind these seemingly innocuous caricatures, I had a tough time holding my tears back.

Apparently, as a child I could sense that my grandmother must get very lonely when the other family-members weren't around. So on one of those vacations in Mumbai, I decided to do something that would help her pass time & brighten her day. I sketched anywhere between 50-80 caricatures on pieces of paper, folded them with an instruction of "open from here" on each and told her that these were to be opened whenever she'd get bored, one for each time when she'd feel the need for company....

Did I really do that for her? I was pleasantly surprised at my childhood capacity for compassion, and deeply embarrassed by the Me who stood there, reading those letters and knowing that I would perhaps never again go out of my way or out of the box to show my love to those near to me. Oh, where have those innocent days gone, when we would give our unconditional love to our elders without expecting anything in return? Where are those days when "I'm very busy right now" would not be used as an excuse? When did work, ambition, money, peers, time-tables, schedules & deadlines become roadblocks in the path of love? And why?

We may be God-fearing people and good people too, but none of us really survive the corruption that engulfs our lives. In this slowly spreading malaise, the biggest casualty is our only defense against moral ambiguity: our innocence. The world is still a beautiful place because of the innocence of children & a handful of good people, and I only hope that it can remain so for the longest time before we forget what it truly means...

*****

Image sourced from the Internet

How inspirational can a basic conversation with certain individuals be? Very, I'd say. The someone in question here is an extremely versatile Indian vocalist who's super-successful & has endless flattering adjectives trailing her illustrious name. And yet, she remains at heart, a child: sharp, smart, ambitious but innocent. You could call us friends, I guess. We have worked & hung out together. But in an industry where everyone is everybody's friend, the lines usually blur and it is tough to separate friends from acquaintances, cling-ons & the yes-men. From a fan's point of view, I have nothing but immense respect & admiration for her. I often wonder how she maintains her humility & composure in the face of gargantuan success & adulation. Which is why, a very basic conversation about life & work in general with her turns out to be anything but banal. It becomes a gift of experiences, anecdotes & lessons, one to be absorbed & applied in life.

Picture by Ritika Mittal, Bodh Gaya

They say you can gauge a person by the way they speak. From the few times I've conversed with her, I'd like to think she's blessed; not only with a voice so strong yet soulful that it sets the tone for any emotion (you already knew that!), but also with good values, earthiness & a love for family and all things simple. Many a talented people lose their way owing to a failure to understand that success is transient and that good karma is the only appropriate beacon in life, hence highlighting the importance of people like her even more. So without sounding too syrupy-sweet in an industry that sustains itself on mutual admiration, I'll end here, wishing there were more like her around. It'd be good to maintain the balance in this make-believe city of Mumbai and a pleasure for the people who have the good fortune of knowing her.

WHAT DOES IT TRULY MEAN?

2011-09-11T19:00:00.000+05:30

Shooting at Sarai Ghat for India's Got Talent

It's amusing how distances take a different meaning in different geographics. Like how travelling half an hour is very far away in a small town or city but is casually dismissed when mentioned in a megapolis like Mumbai where one hour is considered the minimum time to cover a reasonable distance. This rang true when work got me on a short trip to Guwahati a while ago; a chaotic city not unlike my hometown Dhanbad but with the advantage of being accessorized by hills, the mighty Brahmaputra river and a lazy something in the air.

After a hectic day of shooting in the tea gardens, at Sarai-ghaat & around, a sleepless night followed making the rounds of the now absolutely still city to meet my mates. Even though it barely took 30 minutes to move about, time seemed to have painfully stopped in it's tracks, to put it mildly! Nevertheless, I was looking forward to seeing my friends again, some of them schoolmates I'd spent 8 years of my growing-up life with. One would expect sentiments running high, hugs galore & nostalgic stories of the good ol' days. But there was to be none of that. Instead, the air was thick with a "sizing up" that does not & should not exist in friendship. A thick & impenetrable wall reared itself between us that heavy artillery wouldn't get through! I was baffled, to say the least. We promised to keep in touch & meet the next day, but we knew in our hearts that it was not to be.

On the other hand, I later came across a couple of acquaintances who I'd hardly interacted with before and who I am great friends with now. I later went on to make the journey of a lifetime to Nagaland with them, twice. More on that in another post. This unexpected change of dynamics put me in deep thought & introspection about the real meaning of friendship. I'm no philosopher, but in making great friends out of none, and strangers out of some old friends, I guess distances took a different meaning in my life as well. It's aptly stated that the mere time spent together can never be the true measure of friendship. Either there's a spark, or there isn't. We're either meant to ignite, rekindle or stub it out. Sure gives a whole new meaning to the erstwhile jingoism & marketing heavy Friendship Day, doesn't it? And makes you think, who are your true friends, really?

Making great friends out of none: Kasturi & Ritika

*****

The world is as we see it. As children, we're imaginative, outrageous even. And as grown ups, we become smarter but tied down by conventions & the supposed right thing to do. As the flight back home took to the skies & distanced itself from terra-firma, the sun became a hot, bright ball someone tossed into the sky & forgot to bring back; set against the dirty slate of a sky full of dark clouds. Feeling the warmth of this most beautiful sunrise ever, barely a 100 feet above the gloomy clump of ominous rain clouds got me philosophical. The clouds are akin to our troubles; worldly troubles that should be beneath us but bog us down instead. And the sunrise is eternal hope; the burst of optimism we need to look forward to if only we could look beyond our "clouds" that are literally & metaphorically obscuring our sight. The bright yellow of the sun is not merely light, it is a gift of a smile & many joyful, positive thoughts.

Image courtesy - http://buyousef.net

Seat belts strapped, the descent into the destination city mimics a sinking feeling. The pessimist equates this to drowning in life's quagmire once again, but the optimist believes we shall fly again to watch the sunrise. The day we absorb that thought in our person, life will truly be worth it.

****

RECOLLECTIONS & REFLECTIONS

2011-09-01T17:38:00.000+05:30

A fan helped unearth a memory from the deepest recesses of my mind; a memory that now seems like from another lifetime altogether. It comes from a time when choreographer Ganesh Hegde landed up on the sets of Indian Idol 3 as a guest. Those were heady days for me as a contestant who was taking a big risk by switching professions. I nervously confessed to him that I could sing but not dance for nuts, and he encouraged me to just have fun with the "bulb-fixing" & the "tap-closing" steps he proceeded to teach me. That done, I never remotely thought about dancing again. Not until 4 years later, when I was offered to participate in one of the biggest celebrity dance shows on Indian television; Jhalak Dikkhlaa Jaa.

Here I was again, in flashback mode & thinking "All right. Let's just have some fun. No harm in that." But before I had time to gather my bearings, the fun turned into initial disappointments and subsequently into a friendly, yet cut-throat competition. People were getting eliminated even before we'd had time to know each other. To make things worse, I still couldn't dance! But that's when the trust, belief & innovations of my choreographers Marischa & Deepak re-infused life AND the fun-factor into my preparations. No longer did I care about eliminations or points. My only aim was to do justice to what I was being taught. In a few quick weeks, appreciation began to pour in & so did the expectations, work-load & near-nervous breakdowns. Often, it became difficult to tell night from day as we lost count of the number of hours we'd put in practice. Reason often gave way to rage & frustration when things weren't going our way. We celebrated every moral victory and with every setback, we went back to the drawing board

Improvement. Growth. Upward graph. Dark horse. The underdogs. These were terms being used to describe us. And boy, did Marischa really want to win this one!!! Having been part of two earlier seasons, she was in no mood to be content with a runner-up spot this time round. In hindsight, I realize that apart from the lessons learnt from initial setbacks, it was also her hitherto unrequited dream that egged me on to reach for the stars. That's the beauty of team-work, isn't it? You forget everything else, embrace each other & learn to fly!

I remember mentioning in one of my interviews that "in the end, it will boil down to who handles the stress best" and indeed, only the strong-willed improved & survived. Otherwise, what chance did a complete non-dancer like me have against seasoned performers like Yana, Krishna, Ankita & Sushant? I absolutely loved most of their performances & it inspired me to do better. Everyone, from the Judges, co-contestants, choreographers, stylists, reality team, production & post-production team, sound engineers, in-studio staff & many others who I might have forgotten to mention here, were a dream to work with. The amicable atmosphere & the constant encouragement by well-wishers gave me ample opportunity to prove myself and made the sweat & blood seem worth it. Yes, sweat & blood, considering the months of preparation & the numerous injuries incurred.

In the finale, the three finalists who took the stage were broken warriors; down but definitely not out, each with their own motivation & goals. What transpired thereon is common knowledge. Whether the world agrees or disagrees with the end of the story, it remains a thoroughly cherished one. Since the curtains fell on Jhalak Dikhla Jaa Season 4, all of us have moved on with our lives. Deepak is currently teaching the contestants on India's Got Talent & Marischa is conducting dancing workshops in various Indian cities. We still carry fond memories of the time spent together & the profound experiences shared and continue to be good friends.

*****

I don't really believe in horoscopes. But call it co-incidence or otherwise, there are times when your horoscope reads eerily close to what you're going through in real life. We dismiss them as just another way to fill up newspaper columns & our imaginations but yet some of them strike too close to be just that. For example, I was shooting for a horror reality show a year ago which was undoubtedly the most physically & mentally draining experience I've had so far in my life; what with shooting in remote & far-flung locations at the peak of an Indian summer and the lack of the basest of amenities. Add to that, gastropathy & a gargantuan pile of official work back home was eating into my peace of mind. So imagine my surprise when I came across this in my daily horoscope:

"Slow down before you burn out."

Fortunately or unfortunately, my career is on a fast-track that does not give me the liberty to slow down. The show came to an end soon after & I had some time to recover. However, the timing of the horoscope was uncanny & not just a one-off incident. I'm sure you too have had similar experiences to vouch for the verity of daily horoscopes. Too many of them hit bullseye too often to be mere co-incidences. But then again, wouldn't believing in horoscopes be equivalent to being superstitious? Or is there a definite science behind their perceived accuracy? I guess there's really no answer for that.

"I don't believe in superstitions since they bring bad luck."

Anonymous

*****

While shooting for the same show in a remote corner of Goa, Arjumand (the script writer & a dear friend) and I decided to take a walk on the beach. As the sun slowly melted into the sea & our feet sank into the not-so-clean yet soothing sand, we lost ourselves in a conversation about life, our dreams, ambitions, friends, troubles and so on. A lot was said but the most important sentence spoken in that enveloping darkness was:

"Life is about the little things, and not always about riches & career. For one, life is about being able to walk on the sand, unfettered, without a care in the world. We just don't realize it until it's too late"

Food for thought...

WHAT'S NEXT? INDIA'S GOT TALENT!!!

2011-07-29T14:43:00.001+05:30

Press Launch for India's Got Talent Season 3

It's been a couple of months since a wonderful new experience called Jhalak Dikhlaa Jaa happened to me. It taught me much and brought sheer joy & inner satisfaction. All good things do come to an end, and as a wise sage would say, the end of something memorable is always the beginning of something opulent. And the truth in those words shines through once more as I take over the mantle of Host on India's Got Talent Season 3. (www.igt3.in.com)

One of the fastest growing international franchises, this is the Third Season of the Indian leg of the Got Talent series and my first on the show. Needless to say, I'm mighty excited about it, not only because it is new territory but also because this show is grander than what I had assumed at the outset. Made with a lot of love, toil & teamwork, this show is about the hitherto unsung Talent of India from all walks of life and in every size, shape, form & number. In a nutshell, it is a culmination of anything & everything that you would expect (and sometimes not) on a talent show, only much bigger! In Prince Dance Group & Shillong Chamber Choir, the show's had two exceptional winners. And it was in Britain's Got Talent (the British leg of the Got Talent series) that I learnt one of the most inspiring phrases of my life: "Chase the dream, not the competition."

PRINCE DANCE GROUP
WINNERS: Season 1
Picture courtesy: Harish Mohan

SHILLONG CHAMBER CHOIR
WINNERS: Season 2
Picture courtesy www.soundbox.co.in

But hey, don't take my flowery words for it :) WATCH the show & decide for yourself. Watch it for the Judges, watch it for yours' truly (takes a bow) but most importantly, watch it for the culture, colors & indomitable talent this great country has to offer.

Starts 29th July, Friday-Saturday 9 PM on Colors.

OF TRAINS AND BURNING BRIDGES

2011-05-20T12:17:00.000+05:30

Prashant & I aboard the Darjeeling Local, 2009

A friend of mine lives very close to a railway crossing in Mumbai. Local trains whiz by in both directions every few minutes and the never-ending traffic follows suit. While an average Joe would curse his fate for having landed such an apartment for the sheer noise it bears, my friend doesn't mind it much. Having lived there for a number of years, he is accustomed to it & gets anxious when the trains don't pass by regularly (due to bandhs, accidents, water logging and the like). Sometimes, he finds it therapeutic even.

I completely relate to him. In my home town Dhanbad, my folks and I have lived in places barely 100 meters away from a railway line for what now seems like forever. Over the years, our home has changed many times but there has always been a constant: the railway tracks & the perenially chugging trains. As a child, I've watched in awe as mammoth steam-billowing engines have hauled a bevy of bogies & puny-seeming human beings within from one corner of as-far-as-the-eye-can-see to the other. The whistle of the steam engine would have me rushing out to the balcony to marvel at the rampaging metal monster & the black, ominous smoke surging out of it.

I've watched, bemused, as the monster has been humbled more than once; having to grind to a halt as a Holy Cow sauntered across the railway tracks. It's had me in splits when its whistle has scared the living daylights out of a defecating local. It's had me wide-eyed by running over the silver coin I've placed in its path, reducing it to a warm, flattened ellipse. It's made me ask my parents endless silly questions about it. And it's made them answer each silly question with utmost patience. The gentle rocking of the train has often been my lullaby on sweltering, restless nights; the thududd-thududd an assurance that everything is as normal as it can be. These little things had become such an integral part of our lives that on subsequent relocations, my parents specifically looked for homes bearing an intimate proximity to a railway line.

Where I live now, the sights & sounds include a sea of humanity & automobiles, festivities, funerals and what-have-you. Everything but the constant. The memories of the railway lines may nestle in a corner of my mind but my parents still live those memories back home. They live next to one to this day...

*****

Image courtesy: Vogue India

It's a common fashion to disagree with what Sapna Bhavnani has to say, but that doesn't necessarily make her wrong. A firebrand acquaintance, more popularly known as M.S. Dhoni's superstar hair-stylist tweeted this gem recently:

When in doubt, open your mouth & spill it out instead of being a diplomatic hypocrite! Burning bridges ain't that bad. You learn to build new ones.

Yes, it ain't that bad. It ain't that easy burning bridges either when life & peace of mind might depend on it. But what good is a marriage of individuals which takes the joy out of living? Life IS after all a jigsaw of good & bad experiences, and some unplanned risks might very well put the puzzle together. Easier said than done Sapna, but a valid point nevertheless.

A MOMENT TO THINK

2011-01-29T18:49:00.002+05:30

As the end credits rolled down on Dhobi Ghat, I leaned back in the reclining seat & pondered over the 90 minutes just gone by. This was cinema at its simplistic & realistic best, with some very competent work in every aspect being its enduring pillars. This was also a film that felt oddly incomplete. Yet, in its' paucity it remained poignantly beautiful in its apt casting, near-flawless acting, a lilting background score and the brilliantly shot visuals of parts of Mumbai that we might never get to visit in real life. When I moved to Mumbai 4 years ago, I wanted to explore all the tourist destinations without fail. The curious nomad in me even went to the extent of going it alone when friends came up with one excuse or another for not making it. Somewhere down the line, the eagerness has dulled, the excitement now a pale shadow of what it used to be and the fear of being clustered a cardinal deterrent. Was it also this reminiscence of my past in this city; some recent, some long traversed that moved me? Or the fact that I've always been a sucker for hyperlink cinema? Or that I'm finally falling in love with this city?

Some or all of the above could be true. But for all the nostalgia & respect the film aroused, it ended for me in the most filmy manner, undoing some of the good work that had gone before it. However Jolene, a good friend, an astute mind & a self-professed Mumbaiphile, had this to say to convince me otherwise:

The ending seeming filmy could be metaphorical really, a life-goes-on kind of ending; given that the central protagonist has reached a low point in life where he has suffered personal loss, is literally washing the megapolis' dirty linen, realises how bleak his possibility for becoming a movie star is, and is in love with a woman who's intrigued by someone else. So he runs onto the streets, hero-like, overcoming all obstacles, finds her and gifts her the means to drift away from him (a kind of resignation, and also a subtle way of telling her how he feels about her). The end symbolises the true spirit of Mumbai: whatever happens, we move on.

A friend rued the fact that he'd have to watch it again with his wife, another found the depiction of the locations in the film in bad taste. Yet others warned me not to watch it as it was too slow and were aghast to know I already had & had in fact, liked it. Whatever the true intent of the climax may be, the film succeeds in lingering inside you long after you've exited the cozy darkness of the theatre. As I sped on the now empty roads leading back home, something good from Dhobi Ghat remained etched within me. So I say, thank you Kiran Rao, for a real, unique and melancholy experience. May your tribe increase.

*****

Courtesy: Vergessene Traenen

An anonymous reader was irked by my last post, The Chinky Factor. This is what he/she had to say (abridged):

If you are offended by being called Nepali/Manipuri/Malaysian/Chinese, I am offended by the fact that you find it offensive for being mistaken as these races and nationalities. I found "DEROGATORILY", the word you used to describe your emotion for being called as such, unacceptable. How about the fact that you feeling such is not a derogatory remark to these races? You try to come out as a victim here but who is the victim of your words right now? Please think twice before you write such things in your blog.

Wow! I'm glad the post DID evoke this reaction apart from the encouraging ones (much appreciated). However, my dear friend, if you'd check the phrasing of my sentences again carefully, you'll realise that nowhere do I state that I get offended on being mistaken for another race. What I DO take offense to is the tone & intent of malice while being called as such. I'm sure you understand what I mean, being a Nepali yourself. We could make it so much easier by saying that we are human beings & not a clothing line to be differentiated by our origin or price tag after all, but we know it isn't all that simple. No one's trying to be a victim here.The Chinky Factor is a response to a question asked of me many times over, and a hope that someday, things will be different.

*****

And in conclusion, I'd like to thank each & every one of you out there who've showered encouragement for my current dancing stint on Jhalak Dikkhla Jaa. Deep within, post Indian Idol, I knew I would sing, host, act. But dance??? No way! November 2006 in Bangalore was the first & last time before Jhalak that I ever attempted to move my now-not-so-left two feet. Those six sessions of salsa were liberating but also a source of some embarrassment (I was the proverbial tortoise in learning & my partner was none too amused. Needless to say, I never returned for the next batch). Four years on, being pitted against the likes of Yana, Sushant, Krishna et al is surely daunting, but as my dad always says, “Do what you love. And while you're at it, don't forget to have fun!” I am having fun & learning so much, primarily that if you put your mind to it, nothing is impossible. So keep watching and keep the love pouring in :)

THE "CHINKY" FACTOR

2010-12-06T00:03:00.000+05:30

Everyone smiles in the same language. ~Author Unknown

Time & again, well-wishers, admirers or plain curious people have asked me this: Didn't I get offended by the racist chinky jokes made at my expense on Indian Idol, Badmaash Company & the like? This is a tough one to answer, primarily because I consider myself so much of an Indian that I often fail to separate myself from the crowd & forget that my roots are Chinese. It's only when others hold up a mirror do I see the stark contrast. I'm rudely reminded of how I look when somebody derogatorily calls me a Nepali/Manipuri/Japanese/Chinese/Malaysian. But then, there are people who are genuinely curious/confused about my roots and I answer their questions with patient honesty. Here is where I draw a line of distinction between malicious profanities & innocent queries.

This conscious decision was aptly illustrated through my experience in Badmaash Company, where the jokes were in good humor & indirectly attempted to show society how the so-called 'aliens', the different looking people amidst us are perceived and how it can push them to the edge. There are two clinching points in the film to this end. One is when I, Zing, pick up a fight with an Indian couple because they aim unpalatable barbs at me in Hindi, assuming that I don't understand the national language (something that happens quite often to me in real life). Second, when Zing makes it clear even to his friends that "I'm not a cheeni, I'm Indian", thus taking a stance that if I'm not confused about my identity then neither should anybody else. This permission to "speak-out" on celluloid about this matter is what attracted me to the character of Tenzing in the first place. He's a carefree, un-ambitious kind of fellow; fiercely protective of his identity, who doesn't mind good-natured ribbing from his friends but knows when to tell them to quit it.

Indian Idol, however, is a different story altogether. A good show, according to the masses is one which has "action, emotion, drama, comedy" et al. When we as a team get down to deciding the presentation of the show, my looks & origin provide for some comic relief in what can sometimes become a very emotion-heavy episode. It has been used to great effect so far and very honestly, I didn't mind it at all. However, everything comes with a tolerance level and keeping not only my sentiments in mind but also those of the Chinese & North-eastern communities of India, I very humbly refuse to do these chinky jokes anymore. Nobody gets offended, the reel-life show goes on & everyone is happy. However, the jibes continue in real life & I can only hope that the ignorant learn their lesson either before the victims strike back with a vengeance or this becomes mere background music to those of my kind.

It will take time, and I shall wait for it with bated breath & a smile on my face :)

YOU'VE GOT THE "LOOK"

2010-12-03T10:02:00.000+05:30

That probing look!

I've perhaps encountered nothing more confounding than the blank look on people's faces in my travels around the world. You'd relate to what i'm saying. You probably face it every single day! This look could be one of disinterest, indifference or a distant zombie-like one; especially prevalent in crowded places, busy neighbourhoods, chaotic surroundings, work stations (and sometimes in the audiences of Live concerts as well. Ulp!) where the populace seems to be existing on some kind of otherworld & running on autopilot. It could be directed at you, probing you to the bone, or looking right through you. Irrespective of that, the look gets quite disconcerting, frustrating even, as it is impossible to decipher what is going through the mind of the looker.

Are they happy/sad/zoned out? What brought them to their current situation in life? Have they had a tiff with family/friend/lover? Don't they care, or do they care too much? Are they hoping that by giving you the look you'll stop bothering them & go away? Are they practicing the look just to bewilder you? Can I dig a hole in the ground & bury myself???

Questions, questions, questions!

If only we could peel off their faces & peep into their minds, we could become brilliant psychologists. But alas! The mask is unpenetrable; cloaking a million stories & emotions, and the thoughts unretrievable. It ain't that easy to read a face after all.

So the next time you're minding your own business or trying to get some work done and you get the look, perhaps you'll be asking the same questions I am! Feel free to let me know when you decode this one ;)

*****

At Archana's sangeet in Kolkata

Over the years, you have showered unconditional love on me, a stranger who had nothing to lose when he first came on to the National platform. But all this would NOT have been possible if not for the lady in this picture: Archana, my elder sister who just got married on 28th November 2010 was the one who egged me on, forced me to go for the Indian Idol auditions (I wouldn't have if not for her). The rest, as they say is a warm, memorable history. I request you to be generous with your wishes & prayers for a happily married life for her, yet another stranger for you but someone who's very close to my heart :)

A LESSON IN OPTIMISM

2010-11-24T23:08:00.004+05:30

What was one of the first, most important lessons we learnt at school? That whatever happens, happens for good. Our first ever lesson of optimism is unfortunately not always the first thing on our mind when the going gets tough. In calamities we lose hope and even on sunny days we fear it won't last long enough. Optimism and Hope are soul-sisters. One cannot exist without the other. Together, they help one weather the fiercest storm. Yes, times may be bad. Yes, they might look like they're hurtling towards disaster but if we never even THINK that things might get better then they never will. If the battle is lost in the mind then truly all is lost - the storm has already wrecked you.

Hope is one helluva strong line by which many lives "hang in there". Indestructible, unbreakable and with a lifetime guarantee, it cannot be purchased at a store but is manufactured by kindred souls and distributed to those in need of it. It is a shimmer of light in the darkest abysses, a pathfinder, the difference between those who muster ample courage to carry on or to fall off the wonderful but sometimes difficult road of life. To be able to see the light, we must first be willing to LOOK.

We all know the story of Pandora's box, right? This popular fable of Greek mythology tells the story of a lady who unleashed evil, sickness and misery on the world from a box in her possession. Hope was the only item that could not make it's way out of the box; withheld from mortals so that their lives should be full of misery and despair. We're often like Pandora ourselves; unleashing every possible malady known to man but unwittingly keeping hope bottled up inside, the one thing that can redeem us and set us free. As with most things, the answers lie within ourselves. All we need to do, is open our minds...

It's uncanny how we often know what is right for us but fail to put it into practice. I've often been guilty of badly faltering myself. It's as they say; Doctors are the worst patients. But I hope, that my words may find someone in need and kindle the light in them, and in doing so, in me as well.

Remember: No matter how good or bad things go for you, never EVER lose your enthusiasm for life and for what you want from it

ON TOUR IN THE US & CANADA

2010-10-20T00:13:00.000+05:30

It was the same time last year when I was shooting for Badmaash Company in Philadelphia, Atlantic city & NYC. WOW! Time sure flies by! The movie did favorably and some interesting television assignments later, I'm back in the States & also adding Canada to the itinerary for a musical tour with Sunidhi Chauhan herself!

This is of course, a warm-up to getting back to my singing ways which had been on the backburner due to other commitments. Irrespective of what I do ahead, I know that music is what lies at the centre of my heart. And what better way to reboot than this! So here's hoping that I get to interact with & sing for as many of you as possible on this tour :) Lots of love & keep me in your prayers...

THE SCHEDULE:

October 23rd:Edmunton
October 24:Vancouver
October 29:AtlanticCity
October 30:Dallas
October 31:Toronto.

PROMISES AND PROSE

2010-09-15T23:29:00.000+05:30

Promises are like fragile relationships; made with the intent of being fulfilled but often broken & forgotten with nonchalant disdain. Everyone promises something to someone or themselves. My promise to myself is quite simple. Put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard in this case) and cast my thoughts into the virtual vastness. Often time races ahead of my thoughts and I'm left holding a mental slate devoid of any words for weeks at end. And sometimes all it takes is one inspiration to trigger a consuming urge to write straightaway, just like now!

A regulation Facebook update of a friend read thus tonight:

मुस्कुराऊँ कभी, तो लगता है

जैसे होठों पे क़र्ज़ रखा है

These lines from an eternal classic provided the spark that inspired the following prose; coated in philosophy & meant to cheer. Little did I know that the intentioned optimism would lift my spirits as well! I raced my thoughts against time and just like that, my words won!

I am no poet but let's just say that I could not resist sharing this with you:

"क़र्ज़ का ज़िक्र ना कर,

ग़मों की फ़िक्र ना कर.

मुस्कुराये जा कोई कितना भी रुलाए.

मुस्कुराये जा,

तो क्या अगर कोई वजह नज़र ना आए.

इन होठों पे गीत सजाए जा,

बेपरवाह, गाए जा..."

Till next time...

DREAM A BIG DREAM

2010-07-07T15:30:00.001+05:30

In this picture: The Dreamcatcher; part of Native American tradition is a symbolic web which when hung above the dreamer filters dreams from the night air, letting only the good dreams through

Dream a big dream. Become a child again. Dream the colorful. Dream the vivid. Dream the impossible

And if you think that there are no dreams left inside you, then shake yourself up.

Because dreams never die! They're what keep you going when there seems absolutely no reason to

Dream a big dream...

*****

In case you're wondering what prompted these lines, I can only direct you to a wonderful piece of art shared with me by a friend who's always been a pillar of support & sometimes a source of conflict as well. It made me smile and wonder what my dreams would have been like if this chapter called life hadn't happened. If I had still been a child with dreams where anything was possible, madness was good & visions unclouded by reason. Sometimes, just sometimes, let the world we see around us dissolve like paint on a wet canvas. Let us for once see it not for what it is, but for what we'd like it to be. Who knows, our dreams might give us the answers we've been looking for.

http://www.veryawesomeworld.com/awesomebook/inside.html#

THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES...

2010-06-26T13:11:00.000+05:30

I finally sit down with Grandma to ask her an unanswered & oft-asked question. WHY did my forefathers leave China for India? The answer is not as prompt as I expect it to be. Almost 200 years later, no one amongst the living in the family seems to know the exact reason & the details are sketchy at best. It is a story nonetheless, and I find myself listening intently to the bits & pieces that Grandma has to offer

"18th century Communist China: A country which was making rapid developmental strides and was hell-bent on strengthening it's military might. It was a time when a member or members of the family HAD to enlist in the armed forces. Only one child could stay back, the rest had to leave to prepare to die on the battlefield. Although serving the nation in such a capacity is a matter of honor & pride, no decision forced down one's gullet ever goes down well. So it was that my forefathers & their families expressed stern disapproval and decided to move to more secular & democratic shores. Those who could afford it boarded the boats to Burma and beyond. The rest, in an age devoid of motor vehicles, aircrafts and navigational equipment bore the journey to India in small groups through ice-capped mountains & hazardous forests on foot. They walked for weeks, sometimes months. Many fell prey to the elements, sickness, fatigue, hunger & ferocious cannibals. Those who survived made it to Calcutta, the then capital of British India and made it their first home. They brought with them their traditional professions of Dentistry, leather works & restaurants, many of which exist to this day in modern-day Kolkata. Hereon, the family-tree flourished to what it is today. They learnt the language, imbibed the customs & traditions. Some moved again to Canada, Australia & America when they could. The rest made India their permanent base, a place they called Home..."

Grandma's story ends here as I'm in a hurry to leave for a Doctor's appointment. Now that we've started, it whets my appetite for many more lingering questions. How did they manage to settle down in a country where no one spoke their language, let alone look like them? Where exactly in China do we hail from? What were my father's growing years like, born in 1948 - a year after Indian Independence? Did the Indo-China war of 1962 undo the good-will garnered over decades? Like a good page-turner the answers to these will have to wait, for this is a story for another time

*****

It is indeed a pleasure to read what you have to post on my blog, be it praise, criticism or just general affection. And I thank you for the time you take for penning your thoughts

Of late, however, many of you've been writing to me in Chinese. I'm sorry to say that since I don't read or write the Chinese letter I cannot decipher a word of what you've written. I would love to hear from you, but in English or Hindi please, if you will. Till next time, God bless!

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW

2010-05-20T02:25:00.003+05:30

Picture courtesy: Dr. Sheetal Amte

Pictures and journals have an irreplaceable significance. They bring back a deluge of memories with them, some of which you're fondly reminded of and others which you cannot relate to any more. And since this blog is roughly 4 years old, the older posts throw a revealing light over the changing state of mind of the author. He used to be more carefree with his words, discussions, opinions and the enthusiasm could literally be "felt" through his writings. Four years later, a cloud of maturity hovers over his writing (which is good) but an unnecessary self-censorship has crept in; reining in words, expressions, anecdotes. Somewhere along the years, the carefree child has lost his way and a cautious adult has taken his place.

He intends to be that child in his writings again. He intends to use the language he wants, to write whatever he wants even if it's politically incorrect & may rattle some sensibilities. Perhaps no one is judging him, but sometimes a man has to be his own judge

*********

"BADMAASH COMPANY" is a hit! Phew! What a relief. One can hardly sum up the experience garnered over 7 months of filming this mammoth team-effort in a few words. All I can say is that when life threw lemons, "Zing" used them with his Tequila shots ;)

In any field of work, observation is an integral part of one's learning process. While the film was a good teacher, yours-truly learnt more about life, people, genuineness & illusions AFTER the film was wrapped. Wiser, stronger, more confident I emerged, albeit with a dash of skepticism. I had a blast making this film with some genuinely genuine people (if that makes sense) .I'm glad that many of you have liked Badmaash Company. Some have watched it more than once, many have dragged their friends & family too. It's this love that has helped me grow from the shy contestant to what I am today. So THANK YOU VERY MUCH once again, "from the left side of my heart" :) And to those who still haven't seen the movie, what are you waiting for? Free tickets? ;)

LIFE'S LITTLE LESSONS, OBSERVATION

2010-04-27T20:02:00.000+05:30

Image courtesy: cry4moons, Photobucket

I believe in a time-tested maxim: if you have nothing good to say about someone, it's best not to say anything at all. In short, what we call "bitching" is quite an unhealthy practice. Some compulsively speak ill of people, others do it for fun or for personal vendetta; to score one over another or to rocket one's ego; the sense of "I am Right, you're Wrong." Before you know it, it becomes a habit & the habit transmogrifies into a negative character trait, hence opening up a Pandora's box .We often mistake "venting" for "bitching". Venting may be good, the latter is not. One need NOT translate into the other. It's a personal choice, and I'm sure we're mature enough to make the right one. Spread the good word!

*****

By the way, I've just realized the reason for my steadily declining blog posts. No, it's not just a decently busy schedule but an addiction for brevity. In simpler terms, an inclination towards the micro-blogging monster that is Twitter. However, although brevity is considered the soul of wit, bibliophiles will agree that nothing beats a full-blown written conversation. Which is why I try to bring myself back to my writing roots; back to my blog and breaking free of the 140 word-limit shackles.

*****

The city of Mumbai is dotted with gigantonormous slums. Millions reside in these inadequate spaces and it is this forced proximity that perhaps strikes an instant kinship amongst them; making every joy & sorrow a shared sentiment. The street outside my house is often witness to the bonding these slum-dwellers share in many walks of their lives, where they sing & dance together as a secular unit at festivals, lose themselves in the merriment of a mate's first step into marital bliss, grieve on each other's shoulder on someone's passing and gang up against the tide when one of their own is shown in poor light. Irrespective of the occasion, I have seen them enjoy their slice of life to the hilt, augmented by playful gossip & ranting debates. Loneliness is, by habit, an unknown feeling for them.

In this vast, vast city, where distances or the lack of it can kill conversations, this bonhomie is indeed a visual & spiritual treat. As I write this, there is a considerable din brewing up downstairs, which is an indication of another approaching excuse for merriment. So for the meantime, I shall cool my fingers & become a busy observer. Till next time …

"Evolve Your Mind" by Jesi

the buddha soliloques

POST WOMEN'S DAY GIG, MUMBAI

IT'S NOT ABOUT THE ALCOHOL ;)

RUNNING FOR A CAUSE; THE STANDARD CHARTERED MUMBAI MARATHON ON 20TH JANUARY, 2013

MAKING IT A HAPPY NEW YEAR FOR THOSE WHO MATTER

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME

DREAM DESTINY

THE GIRL IN WHITE

OF FEARS AND DREAMS

ALIVE AGAIN!

SING OUT LOUD FOR A HEALTHY DEBATE!

RUMINATION, INTROSPECTION, INSPIRATION

WHAT DOES IT TRULY MEAN?

RECOLLECTIONS & REFLECTIONS

WHAT'S NEXT? INDIA'S GOT TALENT!!!

OF TRAINS AND BURNING BRIDGES

A MOMENT TO THINK

THE "CHINKY" FACTOR

YOU'VE GOT THE "LOOK"

A LESSON IN OPTIMISM

ON TOUR IN THE US & CANADA

October 23rd:Edmunton October 24:Vancouver October 29:AtlanticCity October 30:Dallas October 31:Toronto.

PROMISES AND PROSE

DREAM A BIG DREAM

THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES...

SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW

LIFE'S LITTLE LESSONS, OBSERVATION

October 23rd:Edmunton
October 24:Vancouver
October 29:AtlanticCity
October 30:Dallas
October 31:Toronto.