Ugh, ever use this motto before?  It’s so disempowering!  And yet, it’s really easy to fall right into it, and believe it’s true for a long time.  It’s got a knack for keeping us safe from making any change in our lives.

Listen in to hear how it impacts us, and for some ideas to kick this BS motto right out of the farm!

As always, if you can’t see the play button, simply click the title of this blog post where you will be able to access it’s entire content.

Today’s Lie of the Day audio podcast includes another free BullBusting Action Guide!  The podcast is about the drama in our every day lives and how to overcome it, and how celebrities can actually play a role in that!

Once you’re done listening to the podcast (or, if you don’t fee like listening) just click here to access your free action guide!  I’d really appreciate your feedback if you do use it, and feel free to tell other people about it.

As always, don’t forget, if you have a lie of the day, you can submit them using the entry form on the sidebar to your right!

If you can’t see the play button for the podcast, just hit the title of this blog post to access the audio player.

I am getting so tired of being bombarded with images of “the perfect body” that I had to say my piece on this one!  Tune in for why I think all the magazines and TV are full of crap, and for a different way to consider your body’s perfection!

As always, if you can’t see the podcast player, simply click the title of this blog post to get to it’s individual page.

Today’s Lie of the Day is about the BS belief that we are not in control of our own destinies and what we want to accomplish.  I offer you irrefutable evidence that this is full of bull!  Tune in to the video to hear it.

 Today’s post is on a subject I feel very passionate about; the notion that we all have to be the same, or be like most people, in order to feel good about ourselves, or to fit in.

I’m reading a fantastic book by Sir Ken Robinson, called “The Element” – which is only furthering my Bullbusting campaign!  It’s so nice to feel understood in a book, and to learn that this notion that we all need to be the same comes right from our education system, and what Sir Ken Robinson tells you in this book will blow your mind!  (It certainly blew mine away, and it may take me a while to find all the pieces!)

So, listen in as I bust through the bull on the idea we have to live a normal life to be successful.  In the end, I believe that the more we try to be like everyone else, the less likely we will stand out enough to be successful, so let’s make the effort to be successful in our own, unique ways.

Today’s Video Lie of the Day is about busting through the idea that we have to live with regret, or that we have no control over our regrets.  (If you can’t see the video, please hit the TITLE of this blog post and you will be directed to the page on which the video is located.)

In the video, I give the URL of an exercise you will want to download so you can use my BullBusting Regret process for yourself!  And, I’d really appreciate your feedback on how the process goes for you!  Hope you find it inspiring.  If you don’t feel like watching the video, you can find the form by clicking here!

It’s 2012, about time for a VIDEO blog, eh?  Today’s lie focuses on our belief that we have to dull ourselves down to be accepted – hit the play button, and I tried to add some fun subtitles once in a while!

Today’s Lie of the Day is in a special format.  I’m delighted to be a guest contributor to my friend Gina’s Anxiety Busting challenge!  Not only is Gina doing great work, but she also sent me a very cool cow, pictured here…

I named her Wanda because I think she is wondering, and she is funny like Wanda Sykes, lol!  Instead of presenting you my normal content here, please head on over to Gina’s Anxiety Busting Challenge  where I share my BullBusting tips to beat anxiety.

As we prepare for 2012, a recent experience reminded me of what it’s like to confront our fears, which then allows us to experience things we otherwise couldn’t imagine.

I spent my first Christmas in Florida where the weather was sunny and in the 80s, no snow!  I was fortunate to be staying near to a pool which I swam in each morning, and some afternoons.  Though the mornings were somewhat cool, the pool water was so warm and inviting I got right in.  The first afternoon I attempted to swim, however, I was met with a surprise.  The outside air was very warm, so warm I felt the need to cool myself off in the pool.  However, my foot was greeted with ice cold, instead of what had been warm and welcoming that morning.

I stood on the first step of the pool for quite some time, two feet, nearly freezing at the water’s touch.  I took another step down, and began debating how badly I really needed to get into the water.  A gentle breeze at my back made me further debate whether to just get out, and be happy to have gotten my feet wet.  I pursued anyway.  Eventually, I was in up to my stomach – the halfway point, half in, half out. 

At this point, it was like a life experience – being in limbo.  I was only half wet, therefore, I could reason getting out of the pool, and not tormenting myself with that freezing water, and allow my lower body to cool off the rest of me.  Or, I could reason that since I had made it this far, why not keep going – I’m half wet after all, so since part of me has to dry off anyway, why not get completely wet?

I opted for the latter, said “feck it”, and jumped forward, submerging myself in the water.  For a brief moment, I was shivering cold, and then as I began swimming faster, the initial shock subsided.  Once it did, I found myself basking in literal paradise.  The water seemed to me, literally, perfect.  The sun was shining on me, the water was embracing me in the most loving and comforting of temperatures, and I felt absolutely at peace, and relaxed.

The feeling made me think of more difficult life experiences – here I was, experiencing complete bliss, which I did not expect, nor had I even thought of, when I was on those first steps into the pool.  Had I not continued, I not only would never have experienced this bliss, I wouldn’t even know it was possible.  I would have gone back to my chair, and been half wet.

In our daily lives, we often have “trials and tribulations” where we may take a few steps towards a goal, each time encountering an obstacle, and each time reasoning with ourselves about whether or not it makes sense to continue.  If we give up, we’ll never discover what lies on the other side.  If, however, we continue, we take a risk.  It might not work out as we expected, but then, it might turn out even better than we ever imagined.

So, as you step into 2012, think about the goals you have partially started, and want to continue pursuing. 

• Are you willing to take some risks this year that just might bring you to your own personal state of bliss? 
• As you take each step, notice the thoughts that accompany you – are you willing to bust through the ones holding you back, so you can put your best foot forward?

Make 2012 a BullBusting year!

I know my “Lie of the Day” tends to focus on internal issues, but dammit, it’s my blog, and I thought, especially with the holiday season upon us, maybe some of you out there are having this debate with yourselves, too.  Or, maybe you’re getting one, and you’re not sure whether or not to jump for joy.

So, today I am going to bust through my own bull on eBook readers!

I’ve taken a staunch stand AGAINST eReaders for a long time.  I had thoughts like:

“I like turning pages, I won’t like the reading experience of those damn eBook readers.”

“I’m on my computer every darn day, enough reading from technology, I need to give my eyes a rest!”

“Why would I want to buy a black and white (pseudo) gadget in the 21st century?”

“Eee-gads,” (yes, I really did type that) “I don’t need to make my bag heavier than it already is carrying this thing around.”

So, for a long time, I kept on buying books, piling them on my shelves, and bitching about all the clutter I have from books, among other things, until I couldn’t stand it any more.  My book collection was getting so hazardous, I was afraid the Director of “Hoarders” might come to my door and ask if they could film my apartment for one of their shows.

In November, I caved, and I bought a Nook.  It took a lot of research – should I go the Amazon or the Barnes and Noble route, which reader should I buy, which had more books available, and which one did I like best, among other criterion.

I decided on the Nook Simple Touch.  Yes, it’s black and white.  It did two things for me, one of which I hadn’t considered:

1. Allowed me to read from a “machine” without hurting my eyes – it’s amazing, it’s just like reading from a book, but better, especially because I can change the text size and actually make reading MORE comfortable on my eyes!
2. Avoid being distracted by all the freaking movies, apps, internet, email and so forth that pervade every other piece of technology I own.  Now I can actually just READ, and focus on it!

But, in owning the eReader, a lot more miracles have happened:

• I have been able to appease my A.D.D. reading style – I am always starting one book, and jumping to another one mid-stream, and feeling guilty about it.  Now, I can read 5 books at the same time, guilt free, and easily switch between publications.
• The eReader remembers what page I was on in each and every book I’ve started.
• I can highlight passages in books and find them EASILY without having to flip through the book a gazillion times, or having to wreck it with post-it notes
• The Director of “Hoarders” won’t speak to me anymore because I’m getting rid of so many books that my apartment doesn’t have enough clutter to be a candidate for the show.  And, I’m making enough money from selling my books that I can probably afford a steak dinner or two in addition to buying some eBooks!

AND, suprisingly, I LOVE the reading experience of swiping to the next page, or pressing the bar on the side of the screen.  You know what the best part is?  I feel like I’m constantly speed reading!  Since the text is larger, it takes about 3 swipes to cover one page, but I go through each page so quickly that I have the impression I have become a more skillful reader!  I just love zipping along the pages that I want to keep going, plus, I can easily figure out how many more pages are in the chapter I’m reading, without the annoyance of flipping forward and figuring it out – just tap the screen and I’m at the table of contents!

And, the whole thing, with the cute little cover I bought for it, weighs so little I hardly notice it in my bag.

So, it turns out, I CAN read books on an eBook Reader, and, I’m liking it even better than the traditional reading method.

Happy holidays to all, and maybe this will help you as you consider last minute gift ideas!

I just finished reading “The Fifth Mountain” by one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho.  Though more religious in tone than some of his other works, I found the story an interesting look at destiny, passion, circumstance, and BullBusting! 

As we near the end of one year, and the beginning of the next, we often look at accomplishments and “failures” of the year gone by, and set new goals to challenge us and aspire to in the next.  Some of you may be yearning to come alive, to step into what you were truly destined for, and others may have given up on yourself, your destiny, your heart’s desire…

I have found that struggle continuously in my life – feeling I am called to be and do the unconventional, while simultaneously trying to “fit” into a conventional job, or try to honor the conventional values my family sets forth that don’t completely speak to me – how do I honor my destiny AND the people I love?  Is it even possible?  Which is more important – honoring myself, or fitting in?  Do I give in to the conformity I feel surrounds me, or do I strike out of the box?  The questions go on and on, and I think, no matter how much we think we’ve confronted ourselves, there is always another confrontation around the corner!

In “The Fifth Mountain”, the main character, Elijah, is born with the ability to to hear voices and speak with angels, and deemed a prophet.  An unconventional skill, that would make him stand out among conventional thoughts and actions.  Because Elijah’s parents feared his innate talent was dangerous, they demanded that he keep what he saw and heard to himself.  Over the years, he teaches himself to forget his visions until, eventually, they appear to him less and less.

“Man was born to betray his destiny. God placed only impossible tasks in human hearts.”

This was a quote that struck me in the book.  This is what happens to us all, when we have innate talents and skills that we deny.  Like an atrophied muscle, the talent, unused, seems to disappear, and, with it, a part of ourselves.  And, the more we allow these innate skills and dreams to fade and adjust to hiding our unconventional parts, the more we begin to believe that we cannot live those parts of ourselves, and talk ourselves out of our dreams, saying they were immature, impossible, and so forth.  Whatever it takes to make us feel better about giving up on ourselves.

Another quote that struck me was,

“Even more difficult is defining a path for oneself.  He who maketh no choice is dead in the eyes of the Lord, though he go on breathing and walking in the streets.” 

I have found this true as well.  When we walk between the choices in our lives, it can feel like we are dead, in an eternal state of limbo.  Avoiding choices may seem more comfortable, but remaining in limbo serves to deaden our nature even further, and be “half alive” walking a fine line.  A choice, any choice, though full of risk, confrontation, and drama, at least allows us to live fully.

So, how do we make those choices?  How do we take the risk to be ourselves despite the consequences we envision?  And, how do we overcome the regret of the time wasted in limbo along the way to that decision? 

How about this suggestion:

 ”If you have a past that dissatisfies you, forget it now, imagine a new story of your life, and believe it.  Concentrate only on those moments in which you achieved what you desired, and this strength will help you to accomplish what you want.”

And, when confronted with the sadness and emotion in the wake of a choice:

“Sadness does not last forever when we walk in the direction of that which we always desired.”

So, it seems to me that the truth is, it’s more important to be ourselves than it is to fit in.  The irony is, the more we attempt to fit in by opposing ourselves, the LESS we are accepted by friends, colleagues, and the world at large.  Everyone senses we are not being authentic, that we are hiding some piece of ourselves, trying to conform, and that, in the end, causes those people to be uncomfortable around us, because, in the end, we are uncomfortable with our selves!  So, cut the bull!!  When you allow yourself to be, and show the world your true face, your true personality, your true essence, you become a person with whom they can relate much more easily.  I know it’s true because I’ve lived the experience myself, and continue to see my life head in a more satisfying direction every day that I just share my true self with the world, or with just one person.

In the spirit of busting through all our bullshit this year, and for the years to come, I wish for you that 2012 will allow you to step fully into who you are at the core, that you find the power and courage to take the risks that need taking, and find your way to being the most authentic, prosperous, complete person you can be!

Today’s lie of the day focuses on the things we feel the need to hide from other people, and what the true impact is, of hiding ourselves.

If you have someone in your life that you feel is hiding something from you, you might want to have them listen to this podcast.

And, WARNING – there is a slightly disturbing visual at the end of the podcast – probably should not be shared with anyone under 18, lol!

If you can’t see the play button, just hit the title of this blog post to get to the full post where you will find the media player.

As always, pass this on to anyone you think needs to hear it, and I added a Facebook like page, if you like the podcast, like away!

As 2012 approaches, you might be starting to think about your goals and dreams for the new year.  This is an ideal time to do it!  When looking at what you want to bring in for the new year, you undoubtedly will realize there are some things you want to “throw out” as well.  I’m not talking about garbage!  I’m talking about patterns and habits that no longer serve you, and are now keeping you back from what you want in life.

We tend to be multi-dimensional in how we approach change – there are the physical manifestations that are noticeable, the emotional more hidden level of our attachment to old habits, and even spiritual and energetic patterns we have accumulated.  With all these levels in mind, the Get Your Bull Bearings program is an ideal way to tackle everything that contributes to where you are now, while also developing a clear path to bust through patterns on the energetic, spiritual, emotional and physical levels so that you can move forward and be your best self.

Click here to check it out!

Today’s Lie of the Day is for any of you that have aspirations in life that guide you to admire other people doing what you eventually want to do.

It might be an actor, a CEO, a sports figure….think about any times you might have wished, “if only I could talk to or meet INSERT FAMOUS PERSON’S NAME I would be so inspired!”  But then, we come up with all sorts of stories, “FAMOUS PERSON is too busy to talk to me.  If I contact them, I’ll only hear back from their fan mail reader, I won’t even get a personal response.  Who do I think I am writing FAMOUS PERSON a message?” and so forth.  You know, just because someone is famous, doesn’t mean they aren’t human.  They might actually enjoy being connected to you, and, many famous people worked really hard to get where they are, so it could be an absolute honor to them to know they have inspired you – why are you taking that joy away?

When I was younger, one of the first career’s I thought of was to be a Freelance Writer.  I loved funny writing, and Dave Barry was a huge inspiration for me.  So, I thought, “what better person to ask than Dave Barry himself, about how to make it in funny freelance writing?”  So I did.  And here is what I got back:

It sure looks like it was written by him, and even if it was not, do you have any idea how inspiring it was to get this letter?  The person I admired the most in this field actually gave me some advice – it was short, simple, to the point, and very useable, too!  My inner happy came to life with this response, and it taught me that there is no reason to talk myself out of reaching out to famous people.

So, when I saw Janeane Garofalo in a bar one night, I went and talked to her on the way out and thanked her for inspiring me.  She shook my hand, introduced herself, and thanked me for letting her know.

I thought of a joint venture idea with Barbara Corcoran (Real Estate Mogul, among other credits) and emailed her my idea.  Guess what?  She emailed me back, the same day (!), and said she loved my idea, though had moved on from her role.  How cool is that?!

So, do you get the message yet?  YES YOU CAN – you CAN go ahead and reach out to people that inspire you, no matter how big and famous you think they are in comparison to you.  You might just end up a bit more inspired yourself, and who knows where that can lead you? 

This podcast was inspired by the new TV show, “Once Upon a Time.”  It’s about our tendency to blame other people for making our life crappy, or limiting our possibilities, and so forth.

Have a listen for how this impacts you, what the truth really is, and what you can do about it!

If you can’t see the audio file, just hit the title of this blog posting and you’ll be directed to the full post.  And, please pass it on!

We use this excuse all the time!  It has a huge impact on decision making when you let all the other people, places, and priorities in your life take control.

So, have a listen to why your life is no more complicated than you make it, and for a great BullBusting tip to make your life and your decisions easier!

If you can’t see the audio player, open up the blog post.  And, feel free to pass it on.

This is a true story about me singing karaoke at a bar in California, and what I learned by confronting one of my biggest fears!

If my other podcasts about excuses to hold yourself back from doing something haven’t sunk in yet, you’ll definitely want to listen to this one.  If you can’t see the podcast, then just hit the title of this blog post to access the full post, where you will find the audio player.

Hope you enjoy it!

…in person, anyways, but that’s not the point of today’s Lie of the Day.  How many times in your life have you had an opportunity – perhaps to talk to someone, or to apply for a competition, or a job, or meet someone – and you talked yourself out of it with phrases like “I can’t talk to them, they’re famous,” “There’s no point applying for the competition.  It’s too much work, and I won’t win anyways,” “Why meet them, they won’t like me or I won’t like them,”….and so forth?

This is a true story of mine, to illustrate why “seizing the day” and “Grabbing the Bull” are important skills!  I’m publishing it today, especially, because today would have been my grandpa’s birthday, if he were still alive, and he definitely inspired me to talk to everyone I could. 

Back in January of this year, I had the wonderful opportunity to visit the Apple Campus in California.  I happily accepted.  I got a badge, and a tour.  The tour started in the lobby – it’s huge, with the biggest, most gigantic screen I’ve ever seen, full of amazing Apple products, and apps and I was mesmerized.  Then my guide said to me, “Don’t look, but that’s Steve over there.”  Duh!  Of course I looked.  There was Steve Jobs, sitting on a couch, by himself, in the middle of the Apple lobby. 

“How come no one is talking to him,” I asked.

“They’re too intimidated,” came the reply.

“Is it ok if I go talk to him?” I asked.

“Um, sure, let me just go to the other side of the lobby so I can pretend I’m not with you,” my friend replied.

At this point, I looked over at Steve, busily tapping away at his iPhone.  A moment of fear overtook me. 

But then I thought, “How many times in my life will I be in the same room as Steve Jobs?  And, of all those times, how many will I find him ALONE in that room?”

That was enough for me!  I marched over to him, excused myself for interrupting, and told him I loved his products, and thanked him for his innovation.  He looked up, said “thanks,” and went back to his iPhone.  OK, so I didn’t have a lasting impact, but who cares?  Today, I am even more glad that I took this opportunity – to actually have a semi-conversation with such an innovative person that I admired, now that I know if I hadn’t taken that opportunity, it, literally, would never have happened again. 

If this example isn’t powerful enough for you – perhaps there is someone you want to ask out, or someone who asked you out and you haven’t decided yet.  Perhaps you have an opportunity to travel but have to risk a job, perhaps there is an audition you’re talking yourself out of….whatever it is, I hope, for you, that you might have your amazing opportunity come by more than once.  But, what if you didn’t?  Are you willing to live the rest of your life wondering,

“What might have happend if I had only…”?

So, next time you find yourself confronted with an amazing opportunity and realize you are making excuse after excuse about why you can NOT go for it, here are a few tips to bust your bull:

1. Check in with yourself – what is the fear you are (or are not) expressing, behind those excuses?
2. Is the fear a valid one, or are you just being a chicken who is full of bull?  (Good analogy, right?  It’s like the pretzel in the M&M….)
3. What do you imagine, is the worst thing that would happen, if you GO FOR IT?
4. How would you feel if this were the only chance you’d ever get in your life to do this, and you passed it by?  Can you live with that?
5. Really, can you live with that?
6. What, do you think, could be the greatest outcome imagineable, if you do take this opportunity?

Do you have other ideas for a future “Lie of the Day”?  Use the submission button on my blog to suggest it!

I decided that today’s Lie of the Day needed to be a video! This one is all about that idea we often have that we have to do everything ourselves, and how limiting it is. I have photos for you so you can watch me bust through that lie myself (in near real time!) and some comments along the way to make your viewing experience more enjoyable.

Let me know what you think!