The Bunny Hole

Yawn!

2012-09-13T21:13:00.001-07:00

Time to bitch some more about Facebook being the only thing left that anybody fucking looks at anymore. it's like the fucking Walmart of the internet. It's like Yahoo 360 stripped of any measure of creativity. People used to put some effort into writing blogs, but now it's all about recording your trivial lives in quick, easy to digest quips. It's like they took the worst, most boring aspects of this social network shit and made it the whole focus.

I have no interest in sharing the details of my morning puke, or the contents of my fucking mailbox on any particular day. Who fucking cares how the fuck some guy they either don't know, or know well enough to have just called the mother fucker on the phone, is doing? And if your life is interesting enough to merit a daily report of the details, you can't post it anyway because Facebook doesn't allow pictures of donkey on midget sex orgy fun. Fuck them!

Another One Bites The Dust

2012-08-10T19:09:00.001-07:00

Bye,bye Multiply. Looks like shitty ass Facebook is the only site people know how to use these days. People seem to go for lame ass message boards over blogs and other fun shit.

Shooting Batman

2012-07-21T15:47:00.001-07:00

Why is it evey time some nut ball looses the pin that holds his brains in and takes out a bunch of people everyone wants to put society on lock down? One guy in Siberia goes on a rampage, and suddenly they are frisking little kids in Batman masks in Atlanta. The guy who did it is in jail. It's over. We don't need the metal detectors at the box office.

People don't like to think other people just do shit for no good reason. They like to connect dots that aren't there and end up making bars for everyone else to live behind. The guy used guns, so they say his ability to get guns caused it all and we need to ban them. He did it at a Batman movie, so they say Batman movies inspire insanity and should be banned. I HATE BANNERS! STOP TRYING TO BAN SHIT!

If the guy didn't have guns he could have crashed a truck into the lobby or set the whole fucking place on fire. He could have got a job there and slipped some rat poison in the popcorn butter.

And as for action movies inspiring maddness, let's look at the stats. Millions of people go to see these Batman movies. Millions. Even if one guy was inspired by one of the films to go on a kill spree, that's still one guy out of millions. Maybe it has more to do with that one guy than it does the fucking movie. Besides, chances are this guy didn't go screwy because he liked hated Batman. Chances are he decided to shoot up a Batman movie because Batman is popular and attaching his crime to The Dark Knight Rises would get him plenty of attention. Everybody wants to be part of a winning team, even mad killers. Regan didn't get shot because the Hinkley hated his politics. Lennon didn't get shot because Chapman got hives when he listened to Imagine. These guys targeted them because they were important to other people. They did it for attention. Right now the most popular guy around happens to be a fictional character, so the guy had to settle for killing his fans.

So don't blame guns, don't blame Hollywood, and don't blame the weird nerd in the Riddler costume. The only thing we need to ban here is homicidal retards. BTW, The movie rocks. Go see that shit, and stop being a pussy. Sure, going to the movies didn't work out too well for Dillinger, but I'm pretty sure you'll be safe.

2012 Half Time Review

2012-06-10T19:33:00.001-07:00

It's half-time for 2012, and so far it's been a pretty shitty game. The only ones to score have been the cannibal killers who have gone all out this year. Here are some of the highlights:

* Homos go from being outsiders to being mainstream bores as everyone ruses to kiss their asses this election year. Now deprived of their anti-establishment creds, they can no longer hang with the cool outsider people or have movies about them seem to be subversive or cutting edge.

*Republicans continue to self destruct to the point they are now hated by anyone who does not have several hundred thousand in the bank, or who does not believe Adam and Eve had a dinosaur farm.

*A CGI Hulk struck a blow for all cartoons when he out acted all live performers who ever appeared in films ever.

*I stole a fishing poll. I still hate fish and all things that are concerned with them in anyway, but having a fishing poll with you when the cops catch you out in a boat at 2AM means they might buy your story and not drag the lake.

Fatty Replaced By Robot?!

2012-04-15T13:00:00.001-07:00

My perverted pal, Tony,AKA Fatty Smells, has been acting kinda weird lately. I strongly suspect his ex and her boyfriend, Mr. Twitchy (Pictured at left)have done away with Fatty and replaced him with a robot. Now, instead of crawling around the French Quarter on all fours and in the nude, begging strange men to masturbate on his ass, he keeps his clothes on. Before I see about putting his mug on a milk carton, I need to be sure the real Fatty is MIA. Everybody who sees him ( or the robot that looks like him) should urinate on him. If it is a robot it will short out. If it is the real deal he will take off his pants and drop to his knees!

Another Easter

2012-04-06T21:51:00.001-07:00

Arrgh! It's that time of year again! Easter! I FUCKING HATE FUCKING EASTER!!!!! I hate the fucking eggs. I hate the fucking candy. I hate the shitty baskets filled with shitty fake grass. I FUCKING HATE IT!!!!!

This year, I've decided to change things up a bit. Just for the hell of it, I have decided to replace all of those colored eggs with hairballs and used tampons. Just think of the fun junior will have trying to eat that shit! And, as an added bonus, each Easter basket will be personally delivered by a morbidly obese hooker! She, of course, be completely naked except for whatever bandages are necessary to cover her lesions and track marks. For a small fee, each of my unwashed and unshaved Easter assistants will linger at your home to service dad (or mom) while the little ones sift through their baskets of broken glass and razor blades in search of those delicious sanitary napkins! It doesn't get any better than this!

Some Old Bullshit

2012-04-02T17:56:00.001-07:00

Some people h ave been asking about some of the bunny toons I've spewed out over the years, so I decided to dig some up. Most of them involve Fatty getting killed or humilated in some way, so I'm sure they're still relevant.

What Is Going On With Republicans?

2012-03-29T18:46:00.001-07:00

Everybody knows I hate those bastards. I put a lot of effort into being evil and shitty, so I don't like it when a pack of pricks like these guys steals my thunder. I mean, WTF? These guys aren't even trying to come up with a plan that should work, yet they're still making everybody miserable! They just toss out a bunch of crap about family values and bitch about welfare and minorities. Where's the art in that? And here I am, doing my best to spread misery in an innovative manner, and it's all for nothing because everybody is already pissed off and broke! Fuck them!

I suppose I shouldn't sweat it too much. It looks like they are about done. I couldn't have invented some of the shit they've come up with lately. It's like if you were playing football with a hated rival and they suddenly started trying to fuck the ball. These clowns have lost it. Trying to cut Medicare in an election season? Pushing for tax breaks for the rich when people are already out in the streets protesting that shit? Crazy! And what's with this war on women? Pissing off 50% of the population is a good way to get elected? Morons!

Clearance Sale!

2012-03-25T10:18:00.001-07:00

Today I'm having a clearance sale on robot whores! I got a whole warehouse of these things I got from some guy back in the early 90's. He used work on the animated characters at Disney until he went nuts and started making all the dead presidents and cartoon character anatomically correct. I recently got a new shipment of lobotomized clones, so I gotta make room! Get your very own sex slave robot today!!!*

*No refunds. Do not use in bathtub! Seller is not responsible for death by electrocution.

Easter Is Almost Here

2012-03-22T19:44:00.001-07:00

Fuck Easter! No peeps this year. This year I'm giving out baskets of shit and used syringes. I'm sick of this shit!

Zombies Suck!

2012-03-14T18:30:00.001-07:00

All I fucking hear about these days are zombies! They're in books, at the movies and on TV. They're also all over the fucking place down here in New Orleans AND THEY SUCK! These sad ass clowns are more retarded lost tourists than monsters. First of all they don't eat people. Trust me, I've tried to feed these bastards on many occasions, and they really just don't give a fuck about human flesh. Nope, that shit was all made up for the movies. These guys just want to stumble about, stinking up every place they go.

New Orleans is second only to Hati when it comes to Voodoo, and that's where these goofs come from. Some screwy voodoo guy decides the local illegal immigrants cost too much, so he digs up some slaves. Who do you think cleans up all the shit and used jimmies after mardi Gras? Zombies.

The good news is you don't have to even shoot them in the head to take them out. Just feed them some salt. No shit, it works. Whenever I see these freaks I always buy them a pack of salted peanuts and laugh my ass off as they suddenly remember they are dead and go back to the grave. This hobby hasn't exactly endeared me to the Voodoo priests. The up side of this is all the money I make selling Easter Bunny voodoo dolls. I make a mint and barely even notice the pin pricks. Fuck Voodoo!

Throw Me Something Mister

2012-02-21T08:42:00.001-08:00

It's Mardi Gras time. I hate fucking Mardi Gras! Down here we get drunk and look at tits all year round. We don't need to invite the rest of the fucking world to our party! Sure, tourists are stupid and easy to mug, but there are always tourists. When Mardi Gras comes so do the cops, which actually makes it harder to rob jackasses.

Another VD

2012-02-14T17:01:00.001-08:00

Here we go again! It's that time of year when the card, candy, and flower peddlers make the green. The card guys started the shit. You have to give the bastards credit. They created a holiday with no other purpose than to sell their shitty product. These guys sell fucking pieces of cardboard! Damn! It would be like if I decided to sell handfuls of grass and told everyone that on this one particular day they had to buy some, and they went along with it! The flower and candy guys jumped on board, but they don't get as much credit. They are just leeching off the card guy's idea. Besides, they actually have to produce something to make the money. All the card guys have to do is slap a cartoon heart on a piece of paper. Valentines Day? They might as well have called it "Send us free money day."

My Shitty Day!

2012-02-10T17:54:00.001-08:00

Today sucked! Nothing went right. Sure, I'm not in the morgue, or in lock up, but it was still a pretty shitty day. First I tried to steal some candy from a blind guy on Clairborne. Turned out the fucker wasn't really blind! To prove his lack of visual impairment he demonstrated how well he could point his .45 at my head. You can imagine how this incident shook my faith in the goodness of people. Fucking con men!

My attempt to sneak pork skins in the Mickey's Stop And Shop that is run by those arab guys didn't work out too well either. Those guys will sell booze and pills that are supposed to make your dick "hard as polished stone," but they won't fucking touch a pork product. I used to pay the neighborhood kids (with smokes) to go in and ask for pork skins all the time. It always pissed them off. Then I decided it would be even funnier to put a few bags of the shit on their chip rack. I figured it would be a real hoot when somebody tried to buy a bag. Sadly, it turns out they watch me whenever I go in the joint. Doesn't anybody trust people anymore!? What the hell?! It's not my fault their beer cooler is always missing a few 40s after I stop by. Shit! Again, my faith in mankind took a blow.

I just don't understand people these days.

Facebook

2012-02-02T20:09:00.001-08:00

Rating:
Category:	Other

Man! Facebook sucks ass! If it wasn't for the fact there isn't anybody to fuck with here I wouldn't even get my paws dirty with that shit! I have no idea what the hell their goals are. They shove all of these fucking friend requests down your throat, and then go on and on about how you are only supposed to be friends with people you know in real life. What's the point? This is especially stupid when you consider that 12% of their income comes from the stupid games people play on there. If you can only be friends with people you know, and none of them play that shit, you can't play it. I know people who have hundreds of friends they never met just so they can play Mafia Wars.
Their new game is to show you pictures of people on your friend's list. If you can't identify them you can't log on unless you give them your personal phone number! The pictures they show you are things where the person you have to ID has been tagged by somebody else and often THEY AREN'T EVEN IN THE PICTURE! Fucking retarded!

Internet Piracy

2012-01-21T18:30:00.001-08:00

Boo,hoo,hoo! The evil internet is stealing all of the poor widdle entertainment industry's movies! Cry me a fucking river! I just saw a bunch of movies at Big Lots for three fucking bucks. If the entertainment industry was really worried about who paid for their shitty movies they would have bought the shit back from Walmart before they let the discount stores get it. Shit, anybody who has a TV and a VCR and can press "record" can have any fucking movie they fucking want. If somebody wants to see a movie bad enough they'll pay to see it in a theater or buy a fucking DVD. Most of the shit that gets downloaded is shit people only bother with because it is free. if they didn't download it they would wait until a pal recorded the shit off of cable. They really don't loose shit. You clowns want to shut down the internet over this shit? How about raiding the fucking library where anyone can check out movies for free? It's all just more bullshit so the man can take control. Fuck them!

Why Blacks Hip And Hop

2012-01-16T13:59:00.001-08:00

I asked a black pal of mine why so many blacks these days seem to have lost all sense of cool. How is it, I wondered, that the guys who gave us Hendrix, Chuck Berry, and Cab Calloway now give us "sampling" and baggy pants?

He just punched me in the gut (he does shit like that) and laughed. "The black man invented Jazz,"he said. "Then we invented Rock and Roll. We gave the world some of the best musicians and the coolest mother fuckers who ever lived. What happened? Shit like Elvis happened! Bo and Chuck come up with some shit and the hillbilly white boy steals it and makes it big! For generations white people have been putting us down while stealing our shit and pretending it was all their idea in the first fucking place."

I started to add my two cents and took another one to the gut.

"Anyway," he continued "white people have no idea what the fuck cool is. Look at the shit they came up with that didn't start with us." I thought of disco and that whole urban cowboy thing and nodded in agreement as I inched my way toward the bottle of Thunderbird under his chair.

"Well one day we just decided it would be funny to throw some stupid shit out there just so we could laugh when whitey started copying us. Sure enough all the white kids started wearing their pants around their ankles and paying good money for songs with no music. Fuck! We got bothers making millions who couldn't even tap out the alphabet song with a spoon."

His foot came down on my paw just as I grabbed the bottle. His other heel came down hard on the back of my head. As the room started to spin I thought of all the white kids running around wearing backwards ball caps with the price tag still hanging off them. I had to admit, the plan had worked. I coughed up a blob of blood staggered out to the Bunnymobile to get my rod. Yep. The fucker was still loaded and ready to make some holes. This would be the last time I'd get kicked in the fucking head!

Then I heard it. Shit! he'd found my fucking guitar and had started to jam. And I'm talking about the coolest fucking riffs this side of Bo Diddley. Damn. He always pulled that shit. I put the gun back in the glovebox and found my cell. I got more free pussy from hanging out with that guy when he played like that than I did hanging out with Dan The Coke Man. Sometimes you just gotta take your lumps.

Fatty's New Crib

2012-01-04T15:11:00.001-08:00

Ugh! Fatty got evicted again (something to do with rampant homosex on the front lawn), so he had to relocate. When he invited me over to his new crib I was expecting the usual roofless trailer or abandoned boxcar. What I found was this:The guy has these things all over the fucking place! I suppose the fact his new residence is the restroom at The Blow An Go Bar And Grill might have something to do with it. Yep. Fatty now lives in the john at a gay bar. He claims the rent is cheap and he gets to eat for free. I noticed he still ha a little of his "lunch" on his chin, and felt a little sick.

While Fatty was showing me his milk carton collection (he likes the ones with the pictures of the missing children), two guys came in and started blowing each other right in front of us.

Now here's the part that pissed me off. Right in the middle of their little freak-fest these guys decided to stop and lecture me on intolerance. Fuck! Like it was my fault I puked. These jackasses need to learn there is a difference between disgust and discrimination. Nobody was infringing on their fucking rights. Nobody said they didn't have the right to suck each other off like a couple of pre-schoolers at a lolly pop convention. I just said, via vomit, that they were nasty. I would have had the same reaction watching a guy eat brussel sprouts and nobody would have said I was trying to oppress him.

Do I think two guys going to town on each others meat poles is disgusting? Yep. It is pretty sick. Do I hate them for it? Nope, at least not more than I hate anybody else.

As if to prove my point, a guy came in and offered to toss Fatty's salad, causing me and the two blow buddies to gag. One of them even looked like he was going to pass out. See! They didn't hate Fatty, but they, like most people, thought the idea of someone having any kind of sexual contact with him was pretty foul.

I will never go to Fatty's crib again.

He Know When You Are Sleeping

2011-12-17T10:59:00.001-08:00

Anybody else getting creeped out by all this technology shit? It used to be a guy could just vanish if he felt like it, and he couldpretty much do it in plain sight. These days if you wanted to go underground, you'd literally have to start digging.

Thanks to the wonderful world of technology, everybody knows everything about everybody, and people actually like this! Facebook is especially creepy. The other day I was on there, looking for lonely housewives to violate, when a new button popped up. It was the "Tell everybody where the fuck you are" feature. Now why the fuck would I want anybody to know where the hell I am, or what I'm doing? Sure, why not just call the cops to come pick me up. The amazing thing is there are plenty of doofuses who push that button. I've seen guys on there who check in with facebook if they stop somewhere to take a shit. Some guy banged your old lady and stole your dope? Just check his Facebook page to see where you are going to kill him.Next they'll be adding an "Armed or Unarmed" button just so we'll all know who is packing heat.

With two fucking thirds of all Americans plugged in to this shit, do you really want to broadcast your location at all times? It's bad enough people post pictures of the expensive shit they buy and their hot teen age daughters. Telling the burglars and rapists when you aren't there home to guard it all is like putting up a billboard asking them to come over. You may as well throw your big screen TV in the lawn with your naked daughter tied to it. They can even use your hand truck to haul it off since you probably posted where it is.

It's bad enough Big Brother is watching. Do you really want me to always know where you are too?

New Batman Trailer And Other Horrors!

2011-12-15T15:21:00.001-08:00

Ha! I just saw the trailer for that Dark Knight Rises movie that's coming out next year, and let me tell you, IT SUCKS!!! First of all it has none of the same cast as the last picture. Having spent the entire budget on drinks for the crew, they had to go with a bunch of no-name actors. They did have a few top stars, but these guys were all actually dead, so I don't expect too much drama from them.

I couldn't believe the shit I was seeing when I pulled up the bootleg video on that top secret website yesterday! For one thing Batman is wearing some shitty thing with mouse ears and it looks like he has tits! I'm not sure who the fuck that is playing him, but it looks a little like Chas Bono.

Catwoman is played by a chick in an old Ben Cooper Halloween mask they must have found in some body's attic. Bitch doesn't even have a tail! Halfway through the thing the string on her mask broke and everybody pretended not to notice while she pranced around making stupid ass cat quips. In one scene she made Batman vomit by feeding a live mouse to her crotch, and then kicked him in the balls until he pissed himself. (OK, that part was actually kinda cool.)

And instead of the Joker, who was played by a guy who is now dead, we get "Bela Lugosi, Master of Horror," a dead actor played by a cardboard cutout. That's right, in this film Batman fights a poster of Dracula.

At one point "The Master of Horror" teams up with Frankenberry. I guess they figured if they kept referring to Frankenberry as Bane people wouldn't notice Batman was fighting a cereal mascot.

Either Nolan has gone nuts, or this is some kind of trick to fool those of us who want a peek at this shit before it comes out. I've heard that Nolan guy lives to fuck with people who try to figure out what he is up to. Maybe the actual film will be nothing like this. Maybe the real film will feature Count Chocula.

psssst http://www.videobb.com/watch_video.php?v=jVlQ45tv9jV0

Fatty and Pam, A Love Story

2011-12-13T14:50:00.001-08:00

Fatty and Pam don't hang out here anymore, so I can say all kinds of horrible shit about them without them stinking up my beautiful comments section with their lameness. For those of you who don't remember, Fatty and Pam were two characters who used to pollute this site after Yahoo360 got flushed. Masquerading as humans, they would post sappy comments in an attempt to lure in innocents for their depraved sex games. The few who remember these fiends might recall that they were madly in love. What you may not know is Fatty and Pam were brother and sister! Even weirder, Fatty was the sister!

For several years they haunted this and other social networks, leaving a trail of ruined lives in their wake, until one day Fatty died while performing weird ritualistic rooster sex with crippled farm boys. Distraught, Pam allowed herself to be violated by a rhino, drowning in a flood of rhino jiz.

If anyone can think of any other dead people I can talk shit about, please let me know. It gets boring hiding in this tub while I wait for this poon stench to wear off.

The Stench Of Doom!

2011-12-11T15:08:00.001-08:00

Ugh! Ever get stuck with that nasty lingering bad poon stench? You know, the kind of stink you just can't get out of your fur no matter how much Old Spice you pour on yourself. I am The Easter Bunny, and this is my story.

Last night, being short on funds and badly in need of some juice to make the marching band in my head stop playing, I decided to embark on a spree of home invasions. Usually this gets me a few bucks, but this time was different. This time I got a little more.

It was a joint on Adams just a few blocks from the river. I figured I could hit it and shoot down River Road to WalMart where I'd trade my goods to my pal, Marty for cash. It should have been a breeze. What I didn't know was SHE was home. By SHE, I mean 5 feet and three inches of TNT in a pair of Spider-Man slippers and nothing else. Yep. As soon as I crawled in the window she was there waiting for me. Unlike most folk, she didn't seem too distressed to see a snarling 6 foot bunny with a 38 appear in her bedroom. She actually seemed pretty pleased. Maybe the 45 in her hand had something to do with it. She had the drop on me, and I knew it. I was fucked. And then I was fucked again. And again. And again.

Normally I don't mind being raped at gun point by a hot chick, but this particular chick had one little problem. SHE SMELLED LIKE SHIT! I mean this bitch was fucking rank! As soon as she spread her gams the room was filled with an unholy stench that made me long for the comparatively fresh air of a porta-potty on a hot summer day. My nostrils were burning and my eyes were full of tears. I felt like I'd been snorting mustard gas.

Finally, she went to the can to drain herself and I made my escape. I was free, only she'd left me with a special gift. I now smell like a vat of rotten tuna and I can't fucking stand it! Worse, I'm worried she'll use the stench to track me back to my lair and make me hit it again! NO! NO! DON'T MAKE ME EAT IT! ARGHHHHHH!

Help Wanted

2011-12-09T23:41:00.001-08:00

You just can't find good henchmen these days! What is up with you guys?! Part of being an effective,antisocial fiend is avoiding the cops. If you're going around getting arrested or deported every other fucking day how the hell are you going to spread terror and woe on a consistent basis? Just yesterday I tried to get Fatty Smells to help me jack some tires off a school bus only to find they'd picked him up again. Right now there are hoards of children not being deprived of an education just because Fatty would rather chill in the bug house. How fair is that?! Sure, they got some great meds in the home for the criminally insane, but that's no excuse to be a slacker.

Pacco is locked up in Mexico, Steve took a shiv in the gut when he tried to rip off a hooker, and DC has apparently been captured by monks (don't ask).

So, if you are a motivated individual who has what it takes to be a menace, come see me. I won't pay you shit, but I will let you bone that ugly clown broad down at Saucy Wings who is always giving me the eye. She might not be pretty, but nobody will miss her if you decide to screw her to death.

Brain Stew

2011-12-07T18:03:00.001-08:00

Today I found this radioactive brain shit my fucking backyard. I don't know what this crap is, but it puts off a pretty funky stench. Anyway, I inhaled some of those vapors while I was trying to shovel the crap into my neighbor's yard and suddenly I could see the fucking future. No shit. I now know everything that is going to happen to everybody. Guess what? Someday you are all going to die! You might all also be amazed to learn the next Batman movie is going to come out in 2012 and a lot of people are going to go see the shit.

Convinced of my power yet? How about this? In 2012 Republicans will still suck. Good, I see You're convinced. Now it's time to start forking over some green so I can tell you all about the pussy you won't be getting and the money you are going to lose. That's right, for just $99.95 I will reveal all! Send me a cash (no checks!!!), or just email me your credit card info. I already know you are going to do it, so this is all just a formality.

Real Superheroes?!

2011-10-15T14:59:00.000-07:00

WTF?! Some goof has been making the news for getting arrsted for breaking up fights in his halloween costume.http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/phoenix-jones-real-life-seattle-superherounmasked-in-court/2011/10/14/gIQA9X0ijL_blog.html It seems there are hundreds of these clowns roaming the streets these days and they think of themselves as real superheroes!