Honest and Accurate Burger Reviews by TheBurgerBusters

Pono Burger--Santa Monica, CA

2013-05-20T20:31:00.003-07:00

829 Broadway Ave.
Santa Monica, CA 90401
310-584-7005
website

I was heading up Broadway after a particularly unpleasant workout on the Santa Monica stairs. There was some sort of organized running thing going on, which messed up my drive home, and it was because of that detour that I came to notice Pono Burger. I assembled Happy Meal and The Marinater. The Marinater was able to take some time off from juggling manhole covers on Venice Beach to join us.

From the Pono Burger site, "...Chef Makani's philosophy is simple: use organic and farm fresh ingredients for a handcrafted burger made with integrity that above all, tastes great..." Pono means "doing things the right way." Pono Burger was the sister restaurant of Ultimate Burger in Kona, HI. Pono Burger's thing was to serve high-quality ingredients with a minimum of fussing. We noted that the new kitchen was an immaculate an gleaming study in stainless steel.

Now, if you visit the Pono Burger site, you will note that they tout free parking. We couldn't find it, but there was plenty of metered parking on the street.

We ordered the $7.00 Pono Burgers and added the paper-thin slice of Hook's Cheddar for an extra buck. We waited about 10 minutes for our burgers to arrive.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: This was the star of the show. The beef arrived pre-ground and pre-pattied from Hamilton Meats, and it was derived from cattle from SunFed Ranch. The beef was organic, grass-fed, and grass-finished. The cuts were a bit of a mystery to the staff. We got "Chuck" and "Premium" in terms of description. The burgers tasted of premium cuts. The flavor was strongly beefy, with generous amounts of iron from the blood, a mild bit of funk from some aging, and some complexity that may have been due to some Sirloin or Short Rib. The fat content was close to 25%. The mouth feel was firm and satisfying.

The Seasoning: I watched the kitchen apply a copious amount of seasoning to the burger patties prior to placing them on the grill, but the savory notes were all but lost by the time the burgers arrived.

The Sear: Meh. What sear? The wood-fired grill was way too cool to even get grill marks onto the 1/3 pound patties. A hearty sear would have really hit the spot with this burger.

The Preparation: There wasn't much for the kitchen to do but fire burger patties and assemble cheeseburgers at Pono Burger. The patties arrived pre-made. The kitchen nailed my request for Med-Rare. What was confusing was the oddball claim that the burgers were both dry rubbed and basted. This made no sense, and it did not happen. The raw burger patties were liberally sprinkled with seasoning (dry rub), but they were not basted on the oak-fired grill

The Cheese: The Hook's One Year Aged Cheddar was great when sampled alone, but the slice was so thin that it was lost in the overly sweet bun. Without the bun, the cheese was still barely noticeable. This burger warranted a thicker slice of cheese.

The Bun: The brioche at Pono Burger was a bespoke recipe, which was baked and delivered by Ragusa's Bakery (I couldn't find such an establishment, so perhaps I misunderstood.). The bun was cross between a brioche and a King's Hawaiian Roll. The bun by itself was fine. It was a little flaky, strongly sweet, pleasantly moist. However, it was the exact opposite of the burger and cheese. The bun was kryponite to the burger. The flavors of the bun utterly cancelled out the beef. It was nearly unsettling. I removed the top bun to diminish its beef-neutralizing effects. Again, the bun, on it's own, was fine, but it was poor match for the flavors of the burger and cheese. Beyond that, the bun was only slightly toasted--it provided no crunch.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: Notwithstanding the foregoing, this was spot on.

The Toppings: The Romaine lettuce and the tomato slice were clean, fresh, and ripe.

The Fries: The fries were peel-on, cut in-house, par-cooked, and fried in rice bran oil. They were seasoned with herbs--mostly thyme. The fries were properly crisped. The skimpy portion of fries went for 3 bucks. Spuds were cheap..there was no point in holding back on the fries.

The Value: 8 bucks for a 1/3 pound cheeseburger was a little steep considering the stingy cheese, the lacking sear, and the flavor-zapping bun. The ingredients were great, but much tuning was required to deliver on the value.

Pono Burger was only a few weeks old when I stopped in. I hoped that it would hit its stride and reach the potential of the ingredients. At the time of my visit the whole was far less than the sum of its parts.

Burger Review : Great potential in terms on concept and ingredients. Hopefully the execution will catch up with the vision. Beyond that, it would be nice if the portioning caught up with the pricing.

Rating...3 Bites (rounded down from 3.5 for substandard value)

Boca Burger--Claremont, CA

2013-05-19T20:26:00.000-07:00

425 W Foothill Blvd
Claremont, CA 91711
909-625-8992

Claremont? Yep, Happy Meal and I made the trek to Mount Baldy. He really liked riding the chairlift, and I figured I could sneak in a burger review along the way. Boca Burger had taken over the long since closed Burger Bar location. Burger Bar had garnered weak reviews, but the Yelp crowd had taken a liking to Boca Burger. Parking was free and abundant in the strip mall lot that Boca Burger shared with Trader Joe's. The twist at Boca Burger was that the burgers had some Argentinian flare. I forgot to get the chimichurri sauce on the side. Lucky accident...the sauce was really good, and it was a welcome addition to the burger. The menu also featured empanadas and hand-dipped shakes...next time.

We ordered at the counter, marveled at the spotless, cramped kitchen, and waited about 7 minutes for our cheeseburgers to arrive. A single, 4.5 ounce cheeseburger (Boca Burger) was $3.39--$6.09 with fries and a drink. That was a heck of a deal.

Keep in mind that phone service was non-existent on Mount Baldy, and my phone/camera went dead trying to communicate with the world. Fortunately, Happy Meal's Nintendo DS had a pretty good camera on board. But...it seemed that I could not edit those photos...so it goes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Not bad, not bad at all. The beef at Boca Burger was 100% Certified Angus Chuck, and it came in at 20% fat. The Chuck was beefy and juicy. The flavor was simple, but the complex chimichurri sauce filled in the gaps. The bite was firm. I noted some grill flare ups as my burger patty cooked, but there was no more than a trace of carbon. As a result, the burger had a nice "backyard" flavor to it.

The Seasoning: Boca Burger hit the burger patties with Gary's Seasoning Salt as the beef was on the grill. The tart and peppery chimichurri sauce was a perfect complement to the beef.

The Sear: The sear was spotty. It would have been a miracle had they gotten a solid sear on a burger patty that small by using a grill.

The Preparation: My cheeseburger arrived a juicy Medium-Well. The irregular burger patties were formed during the prep cycle. The beef arrived pre-ground (medium grind), and it had not been frozen. The burgers were turned once as they cooked.on the gas-fired grill.

The Cheese: The cheeseburger at Boca Burger came with a slice of unmelted American cheese. The cheese sat atop the chimichurri sauce. This was a mistake. The sauce should have gone under the burger patty or on top of the cheese.

The Bun: Boca Burger used a soft, fresh, buttered, and moderately toasted, potato bun. The bun was savory and just a little yeasty. The bun provided no crunch, but that did not deter from the dish.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was perfect.

The Toppings: The tomato slice was ripe and fresh. The Romaine lettuce was fresh and crisp.

The Fries: The fries at Boca Burger came in frozen, peeled, and par-cooked. However, the fries were excellent. They were battered and cooked to a perfect crispness with creamy centers. The seasoning was light.

The Value: Hell yes! The value was strong with this one. 6 bucks for a cheeseburger, fries, and a drink was very fair.

Boca Burger served up a really fine variant of a cheeseburger and at a great price. Great care and pride went into the preparation of the burgers. The fries were great, too.

Burger Review : A good burger at a really good price.

Rating...4 Bites (3.5 Bites with a .5 boost due to the superior value)

Eureka! Tasting Kitchen -- Hawthorne, CA

2013-05-18T08:55:00.001-07:00

12101 S. Crenshaw Blvd.
# 200
Hawthorne, CA 90250
310-331-8233

It had been a few years since I had ventured in a Eureka Restaurant Group establishment. A previous experience at a Eureka! Burger in Redlands, CA left much to be desired. Still, when Happy Meal and I were invited to the soft opening of the Eureka! Tasting Kitchen in Hawthorne, CA, we had to give them a second chance to serve up a great cheeseburger.

The restaurant was located at the Hawthorne Airport, so Happy Meal and I enjoyed watching helicopters take off and land as we waited for our meal. While we were there, we learned that the Redlands, CA location was the first, and that the enterprise had grown to 9 locations since 2009. Eureka! Burger was family owned and operated with sons, daughters, and spouses all taking key roles throughout the organization. Eureka! Tasting Kitchen featured a tasting kitchen in an upstairs space, while the downstairs area housed the 88-seat restaurant. This was the first new full-service restaurant to open in Hawthorne in the past 15 years.

Here's more from Eureka! "...Each Plate, Each Guest

Triumph the benefits of handmade food, locally sourced produce and fresh baked breads found throughout our chef driven menu. You'll find an authentic, one-of-a-kind experience serving a wide selection of hand packed, 100% vegetarian fed, hormone & antibiotic free, all natural beef burgers, our signature handcut fries, gourmet salads, signature sandwiches and delicious desserts. We strive to treat each guest as an important individual and prepare each plate with the pursuit of perfection in mind..."

We ordered a couple of the Original Eureka! Burgers with cheese--$9.50 (and $1.00 extra for cheese).

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger meat at Eureka! Tasting Kitchen was 100% Certified Angus Beef. The beef was fresh, and it had been delivered pre-ground by the supplier. The cut was Chuck, and the fat content was at about 20%. The flavor was strongly beefy with a hint of funk from aging. The flavor was not complex, but it was satisfying, and Happy Meal gave it an enthusiastic thumbs up. The burger meat was juicy, and the bite was loose to the point of being crumbly. The beef in The Original Eureka! Burger was above average.

The Seasoning: The exterior of the burger patty was liberally seasoned with salt. The seasoning nicely enhanced the beefiness of the 7-ounce cheeseburger.

The Sear: The sear on the bottom of the burger patty was unremarkable. The sear on the side of the patty that was covered in cheese was better. The burgers would have benefited from a strong, dark sear, but this was a soft opening, and the kitchen was slammed.

The Preparation: The ground beef was formed into loose patties during the prep cycle. I requested that my cheeseburger arrive cooked to Medium, and that was what I received. The burgers were cooked on a gas-fired grill. The burgers were turned once as they cooked, and that was appropriate. Too much fussing with a burger as it cooks leads to a dry burger.

The Cheese: There were 5 cheese choices, and I went with the American. The cheese was nicely melted, and it contributed just enough iron and creaminess to round out the flavor and texture of the burger meat.

The Bun: The locally-sourced bun was big, soft, seeded, and relatively neutral. The burger bun was moist, fresh, as buttery as a croissant, and mildly savory. The bun compressed perfectly, and it contained all of the juices from the cheeseburger.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The was perfect.

The Toppings: The Iceberg lettuce was just fine, and the tomato slice was flavorful and ripe.

The Fries: The peel-on fries were sourced from Kennebec potatoes. The fries were hand-cut (in-house), par-cooked, and finished with salt and parsley. The seasoning was spot on. The fries were dark and crisp. They were creamy on the inside, and they delivered a strong, earthy, potato flavor.

Dessert: Get the Chocolate Espresso Souffle Coffee Cup Cake! This was a treat. Trust me on this.

Eureka! Tasting Kitchen was ambitious in terms of location. They certainly delivered when it came to the cuisine;. The cheeseburgers were well above average.

Burger Review : Darn fine cheeseburger at Eureka! Tasting Kitchen. Quality ingredients were prepared with great skill.

Rating...4 Bites

The Peppercorner -- Long Beach, CA

2013-05-12T18:42:00.000-07:00

601 E Broadway
Long Beach, CA 90802
562-435-4030

The Peppercorner was close and convenient when it was time to catch up with a friend in Long Beach, CA. The Yelp reviews were solid enough, and everything else in the area was a chain. Metered parking was easy enough to find. I ordered a $7.50 Peppercorner Burger...cheese was 50 cents extra. The wait was about 10 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger at The Peppercorner was generous. The server suggested that it was 11 ounces, but I think it was closer to 8, and that was plenty. The patty was 100% Certified Angus Chuck from an unknown distributor. The fat content was right at 20%. The burger patty was beefy enough, but it was a little on the dry side from over-cooking. There was no iron or funk to properly complicate the flavors. All told, the beef in the thick patty was a hair better than average.

The Seasoning: The burger at The Peppercorner got the right amount of salt and pepper to maximize the beef flavor.

The Sear: The sear on my cheeseburger was just fine. The sear was deep enough to positively impact the texture to impart a little crispness to the beef. This sear worked nicely with the salt and pepper to delivery a bacony note to the bite.

The Preparation: I ordered my burger Medium to Med-Well, but I received a Well-Done burger. While this did ensure that the burger was as beefy as possible, it did result in a slightly dry burger. The medium ground Chuck arrived in a pre-ground state, and it was hand-formed into patties by the prep crew. The patties were not rubbery, and this meant that the burger meat was not over-manipulated.

The Cheese: There were multiple cheese choices at The Peppercorner. I chose the reliable standby, American cheese. The American cheese slice was dwarfed by the large patty. Even though it was properly melted, the cheese simply did not register on the palate. This cheeseburger required more cheese.

The Bun: The bun was a standard, seeded, and properly toasted burger bun. The bun was crisped just enough to deliver a little crunch to the peripheral bites.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was just fine.

The Toppings: The Romaine lettuce was fresh and crisp. The tomato slice was a bit green, but that was better than being mealy.

The Fries: The steak fries were thick, satisfying, crisp, and well-salted. The fries arrived at The Peppercorner peeled, par-cooked, frozen, and bagged. Still, they were just fine.

The Value: The Peppercorner served up a big cheeseburger and a generous side of steak fries for $8.00. The value was good.

The Peppercorner took perfectly average ingredients and got them to a place that was a little better than average. I wouldn't return to Long Beach to seek out this burger, but I wouldn't try to dissuade anyone from eating it.

Burger Review : Fine, just fine.

Rating...3 Bites

George Petrelli's Steak House -- Culver City, CA

2013-04-28T10:16:00.000-07:00

5615 Sepulveda Blvd
Culver City, CA 90230
310-397-1438
Website

George Petrelli's Steak House AKA George Petrelli's Famous Steaks, a Culver City institution, seemed like just the remedy for a dull Sunday night...a high-end burger. George Petrelli's Steak House's reviews were all over the place, but I had high hopes for the steak house burger. Wolfgang's Steakhouse and Billingsly's (both steak houses) delivered in terms of value and quality. Free parking was in grand abundance thanks to the attached lot of the stand alone restaurant. When approaching, I noted the wonderful smell of meat smoke.

Here's a little from the George Petrelli's Famous Steaks website: "...George Petrelli was introduced into the restaurant business in 1956 by his Uncle Joe Petrelli, who trained George in every aspect of the business. George specialized in the meat department since his Uncle Joe stressed that Petrelli's customers would be served only the highest quality of meat. George is proud to have carried on the tradition of serving the best in fine quality food while maintaining reasonable family prices.

Although Petrelli's Steakhouse has earned its reputation for its steaks, their menu has a varied selection of chicken, seafood and pasta entrees as well. Even though meat has been their trademark, their Eggplant Parmigiana and Baked Lamb Shank have received rave reviews -- and don't forget about those fabulous burgers!..."

It took about 15 minutes for the Cheeseburgers to arrive. While waiting, I had occasion to speak with the hostess who informed me that Hughes Aircraft held their annual Christmas party at George Petrelli's. The high-demand item on that menu was the burger.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The beef in the 8-ounce, 20% fat cheeseburger was outstanding. The $10.50 burger was composed of equal parts Filet and Sirloin. The Filet created a sumptuous mouth feel with it's tender texture. The Sirloin contributed beefiness, iron, a firm texture, and enough graininess to remind us that we were masticating steak. There was just enough dry-aging funk to remind us that we were at a legitimate steak house, but not so much as to put off Happy Meal. The fat was just enough to coat our lips as we bit into the burgers...not our fingers....win! The burger meat in the big, irregular patties was perfectly juicy. The beef was excellent, and the quality of the ingredients was highly evident.

The Seasoning: I noted a light dusting of salt on the exterior of the juicy, thick burger patty.

The Sear: The sear was good but not great. This was the only shortcoming of the cheeseburger at George Petrelli's Steak House. Granted, I ordered by burger Med-Rare, and the kitchen delivered a perfect and bloody Med-Rare. The sear was not quite thick or crisp enough to achieve burger perfection, but the sear was better than most. Considering the very high bar set by the beef, I really wanted the sear to be amazing. When I return, I will ask the kitchen to make an adjustment to deliver a killer sear. I pledged to return, because finding a great burger in Culver City, CA had been a bit like tilting at windmills with the standouts being Smashburger and Five Guys.

The Preparation: The beef was aged and trimmed on-site. The burger meat was freshly ground on-site. The large, thick, flat patties were hand-formed during the morning prep cycle. The patties were formed with great care, and this came accross in the tenderness of the bite. The burgers were cooked to a perfect and bloody Med-Rare on a gas-fired flat-top (griddle). The preparation was exactly what one would expect of a steak house with an 82-year history.

The Cheese: There were a couple of cheese choices at George Petrelli's Steak House. I went with American, because American cheese is a safe an consistent choice for a cheeseburger. The slices of American cheese were perfectly melted. The cheese fused gently with the tender ground beef and lent just enough umami and savory notes to round out the flavor of the burger.

The Bun: The bun came courtesy of the newly revitalized Pioneer French Baking Company. This was a non-seeded, standard burger bun. The bun was fresh, a little sweet, tender, moist, and it compressed perfectly when bitten into. The bun was lightly toasted, so it provided little in terms of crunch.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: Perfect. Each bite was a perfectly balanced mouthful of tendef tender beef and tender bun.

The Toppings: The Iceberg lettuce and tomato slislice were both fresh and ripe.

The Fries: Meh. The fries were not in the same class as the terrific burger. The fries not par-cooked, so they were slightly thicker versions of the styrofoam match sticks that one expects at In 'N Out. The fries were only moderately seasoned. The fries paled in comparison to the cheeseburger.

The Value: The The cheeseburger at George Petrelli's Steak House was $10.50. This was a very fair price considering the high quality of the ingredients and the flawless preparation. Happy Meal was unable to polish his off, and that boy is a bottomless pit.

George Petrelli's Steak House should probably just change its name to George Petrelli's Excellent Cheeseburgers. The burgers were a hit with both myself and Happy Meal. Quality ingredients and skilled preparation made for a wonderful, flavorful, juicy cheeseburgers.

Burger Review : Finally, I have found a really, really good cheeseburger in Culver City, CA. Go to George Petrelli's Steak House, and go there often.

Rating...5 Bites

Mo Better Burgers -- Los Angeles, CA

2013-04-13T15:52:00.001-07:00

901 South La Brea Avenue
#2, Los Angeles, CA 90036
323-939-0242

Mo Better Burgers was the former home of OBO Burger and the current incarnation of the well-loved Mo Better Meaty Meat Burgers that once was located at Pico and Fairfax. That's your history lesson, kids.

Fat Bruce Lee made a rare appearance and joined me for this review. Parking was free but tight in the mini mall in which Mo Better Burgers was located. My favorite part of getting there was watching a woman of dubious morality dawdling in a crosswalk and loudly asking where she could procure some crack while waving a crumpled handful of legal tender. I was fresh out and sadly unable to be of assistance-but I digress.

Fat Bruce Lee and I ordered a couple of burgers at the counter of the small restaurant. We seated ourselves and settled in. Our wait was about 12 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: I ordered the Steak Burger. This was a $8.25, 5-ounce burger, which was composed of equal parts Chuck and Short Rib. Neither of these was really "steak," but what the heck? The beef at Mo Better Burgers was juicy--really, really juicy. The flavor was strongly beefy, and that was about it. My burger was aggressively seasoned, so I missed any notes or funk or complexity that the Short Rib may have contributed. The fat content was in the 25% range, so the burger was on the fatty side, but not in an unpleasant way. The coarse grind of the beef combined with the gingerly formed, irregular patties made for a loose but satisfying bite and rich mouth feel. The beef tasted fresh rather than frozen, and I was confident that there was no aging involved. The

The Seasoning: The burgers were hit with salt and pepper. A little too much, but it wasn't overpowering.

The Sear: Meh. The griddle at Mo Metter Burgers wasn't hot enough, and the burger meat was too wet, to get a good sear onto the beef patties. A solid sear from a hot flat top would have added a dimension to the this burger that could have taken it from good to really good.

The Preparation: The burgers were formed on-the-fly using the scoop and smash method. I ordered Medium, and I got Medium Well. The beef was juicy enough to overcome this.

The Cheese: There were a couple of cheese choices, but I went with American. The American cheese was properly melted. However, the cheese was lost in the saltiness and the juiciness of the burger patty.

The Bun: The bun was a generic, non-seeded, barely toasted, standard burger bun. The bun was barely up to the task of containing the juicy beef. The bun was invisible on the palate. A properly hot griddle could have toasted the bun enough to provide some crunch.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: A Mo Better Burgers, the beef was perilously close to dominating the flimsy bun. Still, the bun managed to do its job.

The Fries: The fries were cut in house and were peel-on. Fat Bruce Lee noted that these were a better version of In 'N' Out fries. As usual, he was correct. Like In 'N' Out, the fries at Mo Better Burgers were not par-cooked. As a result, they ended up having that Styrofoam stick feel to them. Still the Mo Better Burgers take was heartier due to the peel.

The Toppings: The shredded Romaine lettuce was fine and the tomato slices were red, juicy, and ripe.

The Value: The burger value at Mo Better Burgers was average. $8.25 for a burger was a little steep considering the 5-ounce weight.

Mo Better Burgers delivered a burger that was pretty much on par with the other neighborhood burgers...Umami Burger (the original location) and Rascal (Rascal, coincidentally, also over-seasoned their burgers). Parking was better at Mo Better Burgers, and the wait was shorter. That combination made Mo Better Burgers the cheeseburger of choice in that area.

Burger Review : An average value for an above average and very juicy burger at Mo Better Burgers.

Rating...4 Bites

Gordon Ramsay BurGR--Las Vegas, NV

2013-03-29T08:46:00.000-07:00

3667 South Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, NV 89109
702-785-5555
website

After sending back the uneaten and thoroughly abysmal cheeseburger at Postrio, Happy Meal and I were in need of sustenance. He got excited that Gordon Ramsay had a burger restaurant in Las Vegas. At our place, we refer to Gordon Ramsay shows like Hell's Kitchen as "cooking and yelling." We put our names on the list, and took a walk to kill time during the 45-minute wait for a table.

Our server, Lexie, was attentive and most knowledgeable about the food and the preparation. We ordered a couple of the $13 American Burgers from the11 burger menu and settled in for another 40+-minute wait. BurGR was packed, and the kitchen was not slacking. Happy Meal and did glorious thumb war battle. Later, I checked the underside of our table for gum....only one piece...pretty good for Las Vegas.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: BurGR made the patties from a blend of 50% Chuck, 25% Short Rib, and 25% Brisket. This was one of the golden ratios for burger preparation. The beef was completely delicious. There were strong notes of beef and complex mineral notes. The Brisket lent a steak-like texture to the bite. There was no funk from aging. The beef was juicy. Like The Brindle Room in NYC, BurGR incorporated deckle fat into the blend. This amped up the fat content before cooking. That additional fat melted off during the cooking process. This left the burger in the non-heart stopping, 20% fat, range once it was prepared. The deckle imparted a creamy lushness to the burger. The resulting mouth feel was smooth and luxuriant. The lushness was never interrupted by any connective tissue. This showed that great care was being taken throughout the process in terms of quality...more on that later.

The Seasoning: There was a light dash of something savory on the exterior of my burger patty. This was one of those cases where a strong dose of salt and pepper would have created a distraction from the show-stopping beef.

The Sear: There was no sear to speak of. I assumed that the point of the burger was to deliver a smooth, easy bite. I would have preferred a hearty sear on the high-quality beef, but this version of the burger worked perfectly well.

The Preparation: Like BLT, BurGR had an on-site butcher that trimmed, ground, blended, and prepped the burger meat. The butcher staff was clearly skilled and incredibly meticulous in the trimming of the beef so that there was no trace of chewy sinew in the cheeseburgers. The 7-ounce patties were loosely formed on a daily basis and delivered up to the bustling BurGR. My burger was grilled to a juicy Med-Rare, as requested. I never got a look at Happy Meal's Medium burger, because he inhaled his burger before I got to my second bite. Happy Meal strongly approved of his cheeseburger.

The Cheese: The American Burger came with American cheese. The cheese completed the picture with salt, iron, and additional creaminess. The cheese was perfectly melted.

The Bun: BurGR utilized the in-house bakery at the Paris Hotel and Casino. The bun was a pillowy, light, soft, fresh, buttery, yeasty, and heavily seeded brioche. The seeds on the bun provided some crunch. That texture was welcome. The brioche was not thoroughly toasted. However, the juicy beef would have soaked right through a seared bottom bun.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: BurGR got the portion sizes just right. The bun was competent but not overwhelming.

The Toppings: The tomato slices were perfectly ripe, and the Bibb lettuce was fresh and sweet. The fries came with a couple of house-made ketchups that were spectacular. The chipotle and curry ketchups didn't flirt with their namesake spices--they embraced and showcased them. This was refreshing. The standard ketchup was also prepared in-house. It was rich, hearty, and not overly green tasting, which is a flaw in many recipes.

The Fries: The fries at BurGR were thick and cut in house. These were peel-on, canola oil-fried, and properly seasoned. The fries were crisp on the outside and creamy in the center. The wide fries made it easy to scoop up more of those delicious ketchups.

The Value: $13 for 7-ounce burger made sense--the burger was perfectly prepared from really fantastic ingredients. The quality of the food and service was stellar.

Like the nearby BLT, the eponymous BurGR was an example of a celebrity chef restaurant that truly delivered more than a brand. BurGR delivered exceptional burgers at a fair price.

Burger Review : BurGR served up a nearly perfect cheeseburger at a fine value.

Rating...5 Bites

Postrio--Las Vegas, NV

2013-03-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

3377 South Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, NV 89109
702-796-1110
website

Day three of the Spring Break Las Vegas burger crawl for me and Happy Meal. Postrio had been on tap for some time, and we were already at The Venetian checking out the eternally crepuscular Saint Mark's Square. Unfortunately, this Wolfgang Puck establishment delivered the culinary equivalent of "bad touch" from mom's new boyfriend. I should have known that everything was going to go terribly wrong from the painful interaction with the server..

Me: What are the cuts of beef in the burger?
She: Angus.
Me: That is a type of cow. I am more interested in the parts of the cow that the meat comes from so that I can order my burger cooked to a temperature that is most appropriate. Can you please go check?
She: *huff*
Me: Am not trying to be a pain; I am trying to order the burger correctly so that I can properly review it.

Later...

She: How would you like your burger cooked,
Me: Medium, please.
She: That will be pink throughout.
Me: Yes, that's what Medium means.
She: *huff*

I assumed that she was new or fussy or just plain bad at her job. I failed to take this as an omen. This was as good as it was going to get. It seemed that Postrio was Italian slang for "pig awful." We ordered a couple of the $17 1/2 pound Angus burgers and settled in for a 20-minute wait. It takes 20 minutes to create something as thoroughly jacked up as what showed up at our table. Looking back, I should have noted that the restaurant was all but empty in the middle of the bustling St. Mark's Square.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger meat at Postrio was a blend of Sirloin and Chuck. The source of the beef remains a mystery--no one could seem to figure that out. The beef was flavorful and beefy. Sadly, it was over-cooked and rubbery. The burgers were formed during morning prep by someone that clearly had a beef with burger meat. The over-manipulation of the coarsely ground beef caused a great many unwelcome new protein bonds.This fresh bonds caused the burger to take on the shape and texture of a fist. Beyond that, the burger was peppered with connective tissue. Sloppy on all counts. This was unfortunate, because the flavor was there along with a trace of mineral flavors. The was no funk from aging.

The Seasoning: The burger's exterior tasted like an oniony salt. It was as if it had been dusted with onion soup mix. This was unpleasant.

The Sear: Ragged and half-assed are the words that come to mind. It wouldn't have mattered, though. Nothing could have saved the rawhide chew toy that was my over-worked and nearly solid burger patty.

The Preparation: The kitchen at Postrio phoned it in and subsequently dropped the ball. After I sent my meal back, there was no offer for a refire or a make-good of any sort. Apparently, that was their best effort.

The Cheese: The Vermont White Cheddar was spectacular. The Cheddar was well-aged with that wonderful granularity that comes from salt crystals and the creaminess from the fat. That Cheddar lent enough of an iron note to fill in for the beef. The cheese, however, could not carry the dish.

The Bun: I would have referred to this as a sh!tshow, but that would have insulted shows about sh!t the world over. The bun was stale and dry--incredibly dry and stale. The bun was burned to the point of tasting like carbon. The bun was toasted on a griddle, and the bottom of the bun had black grill marks, which imparted a nasty bitterness directly to the tongue when attempting to eat the dry, rubbery, over-cooked burger.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The giant, stale, burned bun overwhelmed the dry, rubbery, gristly burger patty.

The Toppings: The onion marmalade was delicious and properly reduced. The pickle chips, lettuce, and tomato were all just right.

The Fries: The fries at Postrio were terrific. These were perfectly crisped and perfectly seasoned shoestring fries.

The Value: Say what? I was relatively certain that Postrio saw great value in charging me for two meals that could not be eaten. The manager, Luckas, agreed that the bun was burned and stale and that the burger was rubbery. I sent my plate back after a scant 3 bites. Happy Meal soldiered through a third of his before he gave up due to the strong flavor of charcoal. I was granted the "friends and family discount." That meant that our soft drinks were at no charge. So, Postrio only charged me $37 for that shameful mess. Looking back, Postrio did provide a certain value in terms of weight loss. The pricey, inedible food certainly reduced my caloric intake for the day. Can Wolfgang Puck make a burger...NO!

Caveat emptor. Postrio may have been good once. It may be good again some day. However, on the day that I visited, the quality of the burger and service was excremental, and that was being generous.

Burger Review : Don't. Just don't. Front and back of house were a well-oiled machine designed to lighten wallets and deliver awful food. Postrio earned the title of worst burger in Las Vegas.

Rating...1 Bite (1 generous bite)

07APR13--I did reach out to the Wolfgang Puck organization twice to communicate this experience to them...they have not yet replied.

12APR13--The manager of Postrio reached out to me...he refunded the price of the meal.

Broadway Burger Bar and Grill--Las Vegas, NV

2013-03-28T13:45:00.002-07:00

3790 Las Vegas Boulevard South

Las Vegas, NV 89109

702-740-6969
website

The second burger for day 2 of Happy Meal's Spring Break in Las Vegas was Broadway Burger Bar and Grill. This was located the tidied up version of SOHO--Faux Ho. Honestly, Happy Meal and I preferred this version of NYC to the real thing. We were in NYC recently, and he mostly noted the crowds, unpleasant smells, chewing gum everywhere, and lots of trash blowing around. Apologies to my thicker-skinned NYC readers.

This is excerpted from their site, "...Broadway Burger Bar & Grill located inside the Village Streets at NYNY is not only the best tasting burger, but is one of the healthiest burgers you will ever try! Our burgers come straight from the Estancia Farm in Uruguay and are 100% Free-range, grass fed, Estancia beef. Our burgers are high in Omega 3 and Vitamins A&E. These all natural, no hormones, no antibiotics burgers aren't just good for you...they are delicious too!..."

We were seated promptly. We spoke with Shane, the manager, and he gave us the lowdown on the burgers. Happy Meal was in the mood for pizza, and the folks at Broadway Burger Bar and Grill were kind enough to allow him to bring in a slice while I tried a 1/2 pound burger. I ordered a plain burger withe American cheese and waited for a good long while. On the first attempt, the burger came out overdone. I sent it back, and on the second attempt, it came out a perfect Medium. They were kind enough to comp the burger due to the long wait time. During that wait, Happy Meal had a Chocolate Therapy shake that Broadway Burger Bar and Grill obtained from the nearby Ben and Jerry's. This shake was the highlight of his day!

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Wow! The burger beef from Estancia was complex. While it was mostly Chuck, the funk and depth of flavor led me to believe that a fair amount of Rib meat made its way into the blend. That part of the cow is adjacent to the Shoulder/Chuck, so it seemed a fair guess. The beef was cooked to a perfect, pink, juicy, and tender Medium. The organic, grass-fed burger meat was rich with beef flavor, funk, and some mineral notes. This was a burger for adults, and Happy Meal wrinkled his nose when he sampled it. The strong flavors did not suit his palate, but I was a fan. The fat content was right about 20%. The burger was juicy to the point of almost being messy. I found it especially decadent that I was eating beef from Uruguay.

The Seasoning: There was a light dusting of salt on the exterior of the burger. In this case, the light salt made sense, because the savory notes of the cheese filled int.

The Sear: There was ring of sear on the burger. This was more impressive on the first attempt. I attributed this to a swamped kitchen where the grill was not holding its temperature. The big flavors from the beef and cheese made this an academic observation. The burger was delicious--an epic sear would have made it amazing.

The Preparation: The burgers were cooked on a gas-fired flat top. The uniformly-shaped, 1/2 pound patties were formed up during the day. The patties were not overworked, so the beef was not chewy.

The Cheese: There were a host of choices at Broadway Burger Bar and Grill, but I go with American whenever possible. This is to be consistent, and because American cheese just plain works on cheeseburgers. In this case the American cheese worked overtime. The cheese filled in perfectly with savory flavors, iron notes, and creaminess. This rounded out the complex beef to create a nearly perfect cascade of flavors.

The Bun: This was a simple brioche. It was sweet, fluffy, yeasty, fresh, and moist. The bun was nominally toasted. A little crunch would have been nice, but the strong flavors and tender beef made up for the lack of added texture.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was just perfect.

The Fries: The fries at Broadway Burger Bar and Grill were the sort of hand-cut, peel-on, hearty fries that we have come to associate with Five Guys Burgers and Fries. The fries were strong with earthy flavors. They were nicely salted. I found myself longing for the malt vinegar that I apply at to my Five Guys fries. The fries were great, and I had to fight Happy Meal for them.

The Toppings: The Bibb lettuce was fresh and sweet. The tomato slices were ripe and flavorful.

The Value: Broadway Burger Bar and Grill charged $14.95 for a cheeseburger, fries, and a beverage. That was a fair price considering the superlative quality of the burger meat.

Broadway Burger Bar and Grill served up a surprisingly good burger. It was complex, juicy, fresh, and a fine value considering the quality of ingredients and service.

Burger Review : A nearly perfect union of textures and flavors was discovered in the burger at Broadway Burger Bar and Grill.

Rating...5 Bites (rounded up from 4.5)

Grind Burger Bar and Lounge--Las Vegas, NV

2013-03-28T10:38:00.000-07:00

360 East Tropicana Ave.
Las Vegas, NV 89169
702-262-9181
website

Day two of our Spring Break burger tour in Las Vegas took Happy Meal and me to Grind Burger Bar & Lounge. Grind was a located in a strip mall, so parking was very convenient. Casino parking sometimes involves a lot of hunting and walking. It was a funny coincidence that the hostess at Grind also worked at Hash House A Go Go, where we had bumped into her the day before.

Aside from burgers, Grind served up pizza, a variety of inventive appetizers, and some salads. Chef Miguel had us sample the Thai Calamari, and it was a wonderful dish that combined sweet, sour, savory, and just a little bitter from the deep-fried lemon chips. I would return for the calamari and a turkey burger--more on that to come. We toured the kitchen, and it should be noted that if you fall catastrophically ill, do so at Grind Burger Bar & Lounge--emergency surgery could be safely performed in the kitchen with no advance notice and no risk of infection. The busy kitchen was immaculate. I checked hidden surfaces like door seals, behind handles, and the bottoms of shelves, and I couldn't locate any unclean spots. The floors were spotless. Clearly the restaurant mantra, "If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean." was honored here. The flat top was gleaming without a trace of carbonized oil on the cooking surface. I explained to Happy Meal that this was the new standard for his room, which was in shocking disarray as always.

We discovered that the top selling burger was the towering Juicy Lucy. Before the staff was told to advise patrons to proceed with caution, Grind racked up quite a few cleaning bills after eager patrons pressed down too quickly on their burgers. The burgers were moist enough to squirt juices onto their clothing.

We ordered a couple of single patty, 4-ounce cheeseburgers fro $7.49 each from the build your own menu, and we settled in for a brief wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The beef at Grind was source from Fulton Provision Company. The 25% fat Chuck was beefy, funky, and juicy. The grind was medium coarse. The bite was firm but not chewy. The beef was brought to Well-Done, but it was not an aggressive, joy killing Well Done. As a result, the beefiness from the fully denatured collagen really blossomed and the burger arrive hot and juicy. This wasn't house-ground, dry-aged Sirloin, but it was really quite good. The burger meat was terrific at Grind.

The Seasoning: Sea salt and pepper were applied in just the right amounts to maximize the impact of the strong beef flavors. Also, a small amount of Turbinado sugar was applied.

The Sear: The Turbinado sugar caramelized, and this couple with the browning of the burger's amino acids from the Malliard reaction to present a really nice sear. That spotless flat top wans't just for show. This was all about efficient and even heat transfer, control, and the ability to reduce any variations in flavor. The clean surface imparted as good a sear as one could get onto a 4-ounce patty.

The Preparation: The freezers contained no beef--only the refrigerators. I assumed from that, and the texture of the beef, that Grind Burger Bar & Lounge used only fresh (never frozen) beef. The burger patties were formed during morning prep. About 120 4-ounce patties and 100 7-ounce patties were created by a skilled and gentle hand.

The Cheese: Of the 6 cheese choices, we went with American and happily so. The melted American cheese combined with the savory seasonings and served to perfectly balance out the sweet bun.

The Bun: The bun at Grind was the same bun used at Bachi Burger, only the burgers at Grind were not celebrations of mediocrity. Don't blame the bun. The soft, sweet, moist, yeasty buns came from the same bakery in Las Vegas. I don't recall the name, but the bun is very similar to what a Chinese BBQ pork sandwich would arrive on. Sweet on the outside--pillowy and yeasty on the inside.

The Meat to Bun Ratio: This was just right.

The Toppings: The shredded Iceberg lettuce was fresh as was the tomato slice.

The Fries.The $3.00 order was large enough to share. The fries were previously frozen, par-cooked, and shoestring. The were nicely crisped in fresh canola oil. The fries were perfectly seasoned.

The Value: $10 for a really solid burger and fries. The prices were perfectly fair.

Other Notable Menu Items: The veggie patty at Grind Burger Bar & Lounge was a chick pea patty. This was ground garbanzo beans blended with cumin, turmeric, lemon, and parsley. It was then fried and griddled. the result was a better version of falafel.

The turkey patty was the thing that I wanted to return for. This was a juicy patty of chopped turkey breast. It was seared with cayenne flakes, sea salt, pepper, and a little Turbinado sugar. The turkey patty was spectacular, and putting cheese on that would have been a crime.

Grind Burger Bar & Lounge had to be better...it was not located on the strip or in a casino, so it could not have survived on tourist churn. This establishment just served up great burgers and earned a loyal, local following.

Burger Review : There are no bad choices at Grind Burger Bar & Lounge. The burgers are cooked with great care and it shows.

Rating....5 Bites (rounded up from 4.5)

Hash House A Go Go--Las Vegas, NV

2013-03-27T19:07:00.000-07:00

at The Quad (formerly Imperial Palace)
3535 Las Vegas Boulevard
Las Vegas, NV 89109
702-254-4646
website

Hash House A Go Go came highly recommended, and it had been recently awarded a pile of praise from various sources. The San Diego-based chain had been expanding, and the count was 4 Las Vegas establishments at the time of this review. This particular Hash House A Go Go was at The Quad,and specifically it was in the former location of the former buffet of what once was the The Imperial Palace buffet As memory serves, this was one of the more unpleasant spots in Las Vegas. I had been coming to Las Vegas for over 2 decades, and much had changed.

Here's how Hash House A Go Go website described what to expect, "...We keep the fun in food while pulling from the experiences of farm fresh agriculture, live stock, and old recipes with a twist. We maintain a level of excitement and entertainment within the dining experience, while ensuring excellent service each and every day..."

Happy Meal and I ordered up a couple of cheeseburgers. Happy Meal ordered a single cheeseburger from the kid's menu, and I ordered an embarrassing one-pound Stuffed Burger. Our meals arrived in about 10 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger was composed of two, big, flat,Well-Done patties. The patties outsized the bun by a long shot. The beef was 100% Certified Angus Chuck delivered pre-ground by Desert Meats. The beefiness was 5 on a scale of 1-10. The funk was present even though the Chuck was not aged. The beef was juicy and not overly oily. The fat content was about 20%. The beef was pressed hard and flat as it cooked.The result was a moderately chewy bite. Honestly, this burger was more of a dare than a meal. I got through 25% of it, and then my sense of self-preservation kicked in--the 10 dollar burger was HUGE. After the meal, I found it surprising that there was not queue of ambulances idling out front....Clear!

The Seasoning: I detected a dash of salt on the exterior of my burger patties.

The Sear: The sear was delivered courtesy of an Accutemp flat-top. This was the kind of kitchen device that made me believe in wizardry. The griddle sensed the material it was cooking, and it adjusted the heat automatically and only in the spot where the food was located.....Sorcery. The sear itself was nominal. I assumed that a grill weight had been employed. This would have accounted for the steamed appearance of the sear. A crisp, dark sear would have made a lot of sense here. Super Duper in San Francisco, CA pulled off a great sear with similar hardware.

The Preparation: Hash House A Go Go cooked the burger patties to Well-Done. The grind was coarse. The patties weren't really formed--they were smashed, and there was nothing wrong with that.

The Cheese: No American cheese was to be found in the cheese selection. The Cheddar choice was mild, so I went with the smoked Mozzarella. The deal at Hash House A Go Go was to stuff the various toppings between the patties. The melted Mozzarella was located at the geographical center of my burger, accordingly. The cheese was relatively mild, and there was a lot of it.

The Bun: The bun was a bespoke egg bun from an unnamed source. The bun was surprisingly bland. It was oiled on the top, which I hated. Mostly, it was bland. It was only nominally toasted, so the bun at Hash House A Go Go was simply a way to get beef to face.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The bun never had a chance against the mass of ground beef and molten cheese.

The Toppings: The tomato and lettuce were both fresh and delicious.

The Fries: Perfect. The fries were perfectly coated with steak seasoning, and they were perfectly crisped in canola oil. The creamy centers were outstanding. The fries were a Sysco Foods product, and they arrived bagged, par-cooked, and frozen.

The Value: The value at Hash House A Go Go was stupendous. $9.95 for more burger that two people should consume in one sitting was more than generous.

Hash House A Go Go specialized in big (nutty) portions of classic Mid-Western fare. The cheeseburgers were not particularly exciting but they were true to the form.

Burger Review : Massive portions of above average chow at an amazing price.

Rating...4 Bites (4 Bites ratcheted up to 4.5 due to the strong value--4 bites in terms of flavor)

Steak 'n Shake 7x7--Las Vegas, NV

2013-03-27T10:53:00.000-07:00

At the South Point Hotel Casino
9777 Las Vegas Blvd S
Las Vegas, NV 89123

Happy Meal and I discovered, just before departing for Las Vegas (spring break), that Steak 'n Shake served a 7x7 cheeseburger on their Up All Night Menu. Sweet serendipity--we were staying at South Point, which is where the local (only Steak 'n Shake for 1,000 miles) was located. While the Las Vegas location had limited hours, they were kind enough to oblige our obscene request. Yes, I was bucking for Father of the Year by taking my 10-year old son to Las Vegas for his vacation.

The burger was actually quite a bit smaller that I had anticipated. Happy Meal and I split the monster. At Steak 'n Shake, the thin burger patties were only about 2 ounces each, so the total burger weighed in at less that a pound.

How was it? It had 7 slices of melted American cheese--it was damn delicious! Steak 'n Shake applied a world-class sear to the thin patties, so the burger was 14 ounces of sear with melted cheese. That melted cheese worked its way through everything. It was creamy and savory. The beef was crumbly and dark. This really was a spectacular bite.

Shockingly, the meat to bun ratio was not shot to hell. The bun magically contained the stack of meat and cheese in this mighty cheeseburger.

Honestly, I was not impressed with the standard cheeseburger the last time that I visited this Steak 'n Shake location. On this visit, about two years later, the 7x7 was spectacular. The price was higher than the special menu cost of around 8 bucks, but even at the $10.29 that we paid, it was a tremendous value. We split the massive cheese burger, which came with fries, and we were both full but not grossly stuffed.

Rating....4 Bites

Bad Daddy's Burger Bar--Charlotte, NC

2013-03-24T20:39:00.003-07:00

5501 R C Josh Birmingham Pkwy
Charlotte, NC 28208
website

Bad Daddy's Burger Bar had been making some of the regional "best of" lists, and I had a layover in Charlotte, NC. Conveniently, there was a Bad Daddy's in my terminal. Here's some spiel from the Bad Daddy's website: "...Bad Daddy’s Burger Bar is one bite away from becoming your favorite neighborhood spot. We are a chef driven burger joint that uses a mix of local and artisanal ingredients to make the most amazing burger you’ve ever had. We work hard to make sure anything we serve is the best possible product and make everything in our scratch kitchen..." So, chef-driven, local, artisinal, amazing, and favorite was the bar that they had set in terms of expectations. I ordered a cheeseburger, and settled in for a 15-minute wait. Then I sent back that over-cooked cheeseburger and waited 5 more minutes. I had a long layover. The Basic Burger was $9.49, and cheese was $.95 extra....airport pricing galls me.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: My server couldn't tell me much about the beef, so I had to rely on the menu. It did seem safe to assume that they were not grinding burger meat at the airport location, though. The burger patty was 7 ounces of medium ground Chuck. The menu promised Natural Angus--Hormone and Antibiotic Free and a Vegetarian Diet. The Bad Daddy's burger was juicy and beefy in flavor. There was no trace of funk or mineral notes. The beef was perfectly fine, but it was not exceptional in any way.

The Seasoning: The burger patty was lightly seasoned with salt.

The Sear: The sear on my burger was moderate, but it did not provide additional texture to the burger.

The Preparation: The flat, irregular patties appeared to have been formed during the prep cycle. The mouth feel was crumbly, so the beef was not manhandled. The burgers were cooked on a gas-fired flat top/griddle. I ordered a Medium burger, and I got just that...on the second try.

The Cheese: The American cheese that I went with was one of 10 cheese choices. The cheese was properly melted, and it did all of those things that I have come to appreciate about American cheese. It was gooey, savory, and it provided a note of iron.

The Bun: I selected the Traditional Bun from the 4 options. The bun was soft and sweet. It was heavily buttered and weakly toasted. The bun ended up being a flabby, compressed burger wrapper. It was fine.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The meat dominated the weakly textured bun.

The Fries: The fries, while browned, were not crisp. I found this confusing, but it saved me from eating many of them. The fries were seasoned with garlic and salt. Had the fries been properly crisped, they would have been solid winners, since the centers were creamy, and the potato flavor was strong.

The Toppings: The tomato slice and the Romaine lettuce were fresh and crisp.

The Value: Meh. It was the airport, so the near $11.00 price tag for a burger was in keeping with expectations.

Bad Daddy's Burger Bar was pretty much OK. It was not exceptional in any way, but it was fine, especially considering the this was an airport location.

Burger Review : An average burger at an average price at Bad Daddy's Burger Bar.

Rating...3 Bites

Dear John's--Culver City, CA

2013-03-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

11208 Culver Boulevard
Culver City, CA 90230
310-397-0276
website

I've been to Dear John's before, but I hadn't gotten around to reviewing the burger until now. Dear John's could have been called retro, but it has always been that way. That would be like referring to a rock as retro...Dear John's was just old and unchanged. It was 100% old man bar. In defense of my Father of the Year award, I took Happy Meal along for the burger. We ordered a couple of the 1/2 Pound Gourmet Burgers and settled in for a 20-minute wait as our burgers cooked.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The menu announced that this would be 1/2 pound of ground Sirloin. The menu did not lie. The beef was a very nicely aged Sirloin. My burger was recklessly overcooked, but it was still quite good. The beef was juicy. The fat content was at about 15%. The burger had a strong funk from the aging (dry?). The flavor was beefy, funky, and steaky, with a solid hit of iron to back it up. The bite was firm and the beef remained on the palate well after the bun had moved along. I would have sent my burger back for a refire, but I didn't want to keep Happy Meal waiting another 20 minutes for a properly cooked burger.

The Seasoning: There was no seasoning applied to the cheeseburgers at Dear John's. A little salt and pepper would have gone a long way with the high-quality beef.

The Sear: I found the lack of sear puzzling. The kitchen managed to cook that thick, 1/2 pound patty all the way through, but they couldn't get a proper sear on the darn thing. First crop circles, and now this....we truly live in a age of wonders.

The Preparation: Dear John's cooked the burgers on a gas-fired grill rather than a flat top. The grill was far too cool to apply a proper sear. The staff formed the formidable beef patties during the morning prep cycle. The ground Sirloin arrived pre-ground. Discovering the source of the beef proved to be too challenging for my limited Spanish skills, because this was an ESL situation. The burgers were formed gently, and the resulting mouth feel was firm without being chewy.

The Cheese: Dear John's doubled up on the Cheddar for us. We could have gone with Bleu or Swiss, but we didn't want our burgers to, you know.....suck. The Cheddar was meek. It did provide a little gooeyness to the bite, but that was it.

The Bun: The bun was standard, food-service, lightly-seeded, fresh, moist, slightly sweet offering. It was squishy like a school lunch roll, and this was not at all unwelcome. The bun did its humble part of getting ground steak into our faces without soiling our hands. Sadly, the bun was barely toasted, so it lent nothing in terms of crunch. It seemed that 20 minutes was not long enough to toast a bun.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The bun just barely contained the generous burger patty at Dear John's.

The Fries: The fries were thick, steak cut monsters. The fries were not cut in-house, but they were properly cooked and seasoned. The fries were just fine.

The Toppings: Everything here was perfectly fresh. The Romaine lettuce and the tomato slice were just right.

The Value: $12 for 1/2 pound of ground Sirloin and some fries was a great value. Where we got screwed was on the beverages. We spent $8 on Diet Coke. We were not informed that soda refills at Dear John's were not refills at all. 2 bucks for a Diet Coke was a thumb in the eye. 8 bucks was a knee to the groin. After tax and tip, we were out about 40 bucks. $40 for 2 cheeseburgers was nearly offensive.

Dear John's was a hipster hangout just waiting to happen. The cheeseburgers were on the verge of greatness. $12 was not too much to pay for a high-quality burger, but it was too much to pay for an over-cooked burger.

Burger Review : Dear John's served up terrific beef and large portions. If you go, beware the beverage prices, and really drive home with the wait staff how you want your burger prepared.

Rating...4 Bites

Jake's of Pasadena -- Pasadena, CA

2013-02-24T18:05:00.004-08:00

38 West Colorado Boulevard
Pasadena, CA 91105
626-568-1602
website

I'd been a good boy all week in terms of nutrition and exercise, and so had Happy Meal. We decided to treat ourselves to a cheeseburger. Destination: Jake's of Pasadena. Why: We had a Groupon. Parking in Old Town Pasadena on a Sunday afternoon was a nightmare, but we found metered parking a few blocks away. The signage proclaimed that Jake's of Pasadena served the best burger in Pasadena. I had to wonder if they could top Plate 38, which was really darned good.

The seating was nearly all counter--several counters, and there were three small tables tucked away in a corner. Happy Meal loves counter seating, and I obliged. We opted for the Build Your Own Burger route. Ordering at Jake's of Pasadena was a matter of checking boxes on a form and handing it to a server. Our cheeseburgers arrived in about 5 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger meat at Jake's of Pasadena was about 1/3 of a pound of Chuck. The patty was strongly beefy with a firm note of funk and a bit of iron at the end. I assumed that the beef was sourced from Sysco Foods, since most everything else there was. The Chuck had a fat content of about 20% fat. The grind was coarse, and the beef lingered after the cheese and bun had departed the palate. The firmness and grind of the beef was satisfying in terms of mouth feel. The kitchen did employ griddle weights while cooking the burgers, but this did not dry out the irregular, hand-formed patties.

The Seasoning: I noted that the burgers were not being seasoned as they cooked, so I interceded. I wanted a good burger. I asked the kitchen to apply a little salt and pepper to my burger as it cooked. If you go to Jake's of Pasadena, I strongly encourage you to mirror my request.

The Sear: Hell yea! The griddle at the busy establishment maintained its heat, and the burgers were delivered with a deep, dark, crisp sear. The sear on my burger was most satisfying when coupled with the requested salt and pepper.

The Preparation: The cheeseburgers at Jake's of Pasadena were cooked to Well-Done but not an aggressive, dry Well-Done. The 1/3 pound burger patties were hand-formed during the morning prep shift. The patties were formed gently, and this resulted in a bite that was firm but not chewy.

The Cheese: There were a variety of cheese options, but I chose American cheese to top my burger for the usual reasons: creaminess, savoriness, umami, and iron. The perfectly melted cheese delivered on all of those points. Furthermore, the cheese served to wed the bun to the beef. Keep in mind that they charged $1.29 for a slice of American cheese. The pricing was aggressive...leaning towards offensive. I can buy 32 slices for $5 down the street, so I found a 800% markup over retail just plain outrageous.

The Bun: Jake's of Pasadena also offered numerous bun options. I went with the standard burger bun. The bun did not disappoint. It was fresh, moist, a little sweet, and perfectly toasted. The kitchen buttered the buns and toasted them on the flat top alongside the burger patties.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The large bun was a little too large for the single burger patty. The bun would have been more appropriate to a double burger, but a double burger would not have been appropriate to my long-term survival odds.

The Fries: The fries were the standard, food service, frozen, peel-off, par-cooked, peel-off fries that show up in a bag. The fries were perfectly crisped and nicely seasoned. The fries were about $2, and the portion was not impressive.

The Toppings: I passed on the shredded Iceberg lettuce, because it was shredded Iceberg lettuce. The tomato slice was red, ripe, juicy, and flavorful. I splurged and got some avocado. The avocado was just fine.

The Value: Meh. I dropped 10 bucks on a 20 Groupon, and I still paid an additional 9 bucks (incuding tip) to cover the bill. It was about $25 for two cheeseburgers, one order of fries, and two sodas. This was a little more than the quality of the food warranted. The value was a little below average.

Jake's of Pasadena was not the best burger in Pasadena. Plate 38 was better by far. However, the burger at Jake's was flavorful and properly prepared. It may have been the best burger in the neighborhood....it was the only burger that I had sample in that part of Pasadena.

Burger Review : A competent, flavorful, but slightly over-priced burger at Jake's of Pasadena.

Rating...3 Bites (3.5 Bites with a .5 point deduction for weak value)

Bachi Burger -- Los Angeles, CA

2013-02-18T07:35:00.000-08:00

I was driving down Sawtelle Boulevard the other day. I had to grab some Tekka Maki to pack in Happy Meal's lunch box. It was then that I discovered that Bachi Burger had begun expanding. It wasn't really news, but it was news to me.

Sadly, like Umami Burger, Bachi Burger waited until they had lost steam in terms of quality to begin expanding. Umami Burger was once the best burger in Los Angeles, but that faded within a year or so as their standards went out the window. Presently, Umami Burger has been pumping out pretty good, but over-priced, burgers from multiple locations for a few years. All the while, Umami Burger has been steadily expanding. Bachi Burger, the former darling cheeseburger of Las Vegas, has followed suit, and the LA location will be the third storefront. When I visited Bachi Burger, I was underwhelmed, and I have heard similar comments from my burger loving brothers and sisters.

Fortunately for burger lovers in Little Osaka, there is a really, really good burger spot a few blocks away....Plan Check,
Bear in mind that Bachi Burger held it together for a few years in Las Vegas before jumping the shark, so it is possible that they will turn out great food in LA during the honeymoon phase...hopefully beyond that.

On the plus side, The Cult's "She Sells Sanctuary" was playing on the radio in the car this morning, and that was pretty awesome. It's a lot butcher if you don't watch the video. Also, you should probably start watching Workaholics on Comedy Central. It's juvenile, and I love. it.

Burger House -- Oceanside, CA

2013-02-17T21:02:00.001-08:00

515 Mission Street
Oceanside,CA 92054
760-757-5890

The Burger House Newman Open Range burger

Happy Meal and I were at Legoland to celebrate the weekend of his 10th birthday. We had driven past Burger House in the past while scoping out breakfast spots in Oceanside, but we had never been in the vicinity at dinner time. Before heading over, I looked up "burgers Oceanside, CA." This search revealed that the local Yelp favorite was Ty's Burger House. Since Burger House shared the same address as the establishment reviewed on Yelp, I assumed that there had been a name change. On a Sunday evening, street parking was free and plentiful. The menu featured a variety of game meat burgers such as elk, kangaroo, wild boar. and venison.

We lined up, placed our orders, and waited for about 15 minutes for our burgers to arrive. Happy Meal ordered the standard, 1/3 pound Classic Burger (cheeseburger), and I ordered the 1/3 pound Newman Open Range grass-fed beef burger. I asked the manager/owner about the cuts of beef used, but he had no idea. He told me that all of the other burgers were Chuck, but this was suspect considering that a kangaroo shoulder is relatively tiny. A later web search did not turn up a Newman Open Range purveyor , so it seemed safe to guess that this was probably a Niman Ranch product.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Happy Meal's Classic Burger was only mildly beefy. The fat content passed 25% with gusto--the bite was oily. The grind was coarse, and the mouth feel was firm. The Classic Burger was average.

My Newman Open Range burger was beefy in flavor. The funk of aging was strong in flavor and aroma. It seemed that the beef had been dry-aged. The fat content was about 20%. The grind was very coarse and somewhat inconsistent. Some bites were only partially ground. The bite was rubbery/chewy. I couldn't quite make out if this was due to the large amount of connective tissue in the Chuck, over-manipulation of the ground beef, or if the beef had been frozen. The beef was moist, so it seemed fair to guess that if had probably not been frozen. The beef was lacking in any notes other than beef, so Chuck was the cut. The beef in the Newman Open Range burger was only two notes, but it was above average in flavor.

Open Range Burger Sear

Classic Burger Sear

The Seasoning: There was none.

The Sear: The sear on the irregular patty of the Classic Burger was meager. The sear on my Newman Open Range burger was weak. I found that frustrating, because I ordered my burger to be cooked Medium. Instead, I got a Well-Done burger with a crappy sear. Lose-lose. I didn't want to wait an additional 15 minutes for a re-fire that would have gotten me to the half-assed sear of the other burger, so I dealt with it.

The Preparation: The irregular burger patties at Burger House were hand-formed and firmly packed. As I have already stated, my burger was over-cooked and a little chewy. Happy Meal's burger came out Medium. I found that comical, because I did not specify the temperature of his burger...irony. The problem here was that the kitchen found themselves overwhelmed with a mini-rush. Rather than pacing the orders and communicating longer wait times, the staff chose to continue jamming burger patties onto a tightly-packed grill that couldn't maintain a proper surface temperature. I would have gladly waiting a little longer for a properly seared, seasoned, and cooked burger.

The Burger House Classic Burger

The Cheese: The Classic Burger came with a nicely melted slice of American Cheese. The American Cheese did all of the things that American Cheese should do on a cheeseburger. My burger did not come with cheese. The strong funk and overt chewiness of my burger would have crushed any cheese but Bleu, so the absence of cheese was not noted.

The Bun: The burger buns at Burger House were delivered by a local bakery, but the name of that bakery was kept secret--I did ask. The buns were sweet, dense, fresh, and moist. These resembled a dense version of King's Hawaiian Bread. The buns compressed much like school lunch rolls. The dense mouth feel of the bun did work with the chewy, coarse beef. The buns were perfectly toasted on the same flat top upon which the burger patties were cooked.

The Meat to Bun Ratio: This was fine.

The Toppings: The tomato slices were ripe and juicy. The lettuce was shredded. I removed this and set it aside...yuck. Stop! Everyone, stop shredding the lettuce that is destined to go on cheeseburgers. It is cold, wet, and unpleasant.

The Fries: Hooray--the fries were terrific. They arrived frozen, par-cooked, and bagged. Burger House crisped these fries perfectly. The fries remained crisp as they cooled, and they were properly salted. I had to fight Happy Meal to get a few of them.

Open Range Burger Cross Section

The Value: My burger and fries was $8.90. Happy Meal's burger was $5.90. A soda was $1.95. With tax and tip, I dropped just over 21 bucks on a couple of smallish burgers, a single order of fries, and one soda. The value wallowed in lameness.

Burger House served up over-priced and well-hyped burgers. It seemed that the schtick was wild game, and that was good enough. The preparation was lackluster; the prices were high; the knowledge of the meats was meager. All that said, the premium cheeseburgers were a little above average in terms of flavor.

Burger Review : Too much money for not enough burger at Burger House. The beef in the high-priced burger rose above the preparation. The beef in the standard burger was average and oily.

Rating...3 Bites (ratcheted down from 3.5 for the premium burger due to careless and inconsistent preparation and poor value...3 Bites for the Classic Burger)

Jax Bar and Grill--Glendale, CA

2013-02-03T21:04:00.000-08:00

339 North Brand Boulevard
Glendale, CA 91203
818-500-1604
website

Jax Bar and Grill was within walking distance of the office where Beefaroni and I were spending the bulk of our days. It certainly made parking easy! Jax was a jazz club by night. Our waiter informed me that the owner of Jax also owned the nearby Hamburger Central (a block away). We had high hopes for our cheeseburgers. The wait was about 12 minutes. Considering that my burger was thoroughly over-cooked, the time could have been reduced.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Maybe I take sh!t too literally, but when I ordered the Half Pound Cheeseburger, I sort of assumed that this would have been the weight of the actual beef. The patty was much closer to 5 ounces than 8. Perhaps the meat, bun, cheese, and toppings weighed in at 8 ounces. Perhaps the over-cooking robbed my burger patty of those three ounces. The waiter assured me that I would be eating lean ground sirloin.I think the claim of Sirloin was about as accurate as the claim of 1/2 pound or offering a Med-Rare cheeseburger. The beef was firmly beefy and..........that was it. There was none of the complexity that one might have expected from Sirloin. No aging and no iron. The grind was coarse, and the burger meat was juicy. The fat content was around 20%. The cut was most likely Chuck. If it was Sirloin, then I am glad that I did not order the steak.

The Seasoning: There was none.

The Sear: The burger patty at Jax Bar and Grill picked up a nice backyard BBQ sort of grilled sear to it. There was a hint of char, and that was just fine.


The Frisco Burger

The Preparation: I ordered a Med-Rare burger. I got something closer to Med-Well, and I did not have time for a re-fire on my lunch break. Beefaroni's Frisco Burger did come out Med-Rare, so that was a freaking head scratcher. The burger meat came in pre-ground from Golden West Trading, Inc. The thinnish patties were hand formed. The burger patties were gently formed, so they were not chewy.

The Cheese: This was a blend of shredded American, Jack, and Cheddar. The cheese did its job. It added savory notes and a creamy texture.

The Bun: Jax Bar and Grill got there buns from Frisco Baking Company. The burger bun was just fine. Toasted, seeded, sweet, soft, fresh, and moist. The bun was a winner.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The bun at Jax Bar and Grill was a bit big for my under-weight and over-cooked cheeseburger. The bun was better suited to the what the menu promised.

The Toppings: The shredded Iceberg lettuce was fresh, but I would never top a burger with a wet mess like that. The tomato slices were perfectly ripe.

The Fries: The fries were of the previously frozen, peel-on, par-cooked, and shipped in variety, but the fries were excellent. They were cooked to a crisp golden brown, and the fries were perfectly salted.

The Value: I dropped about 13 bucks on an under-weight, over-cooked cheeseburger, great fries, and a soda. The value was not good.

Jax Bar and Grill was a jazz club, and the cheeseburger shared some jazz elements. There were a great many missing notes, and it left me wanting for more.

Burger Review : Jax Bar and Grill served up an average burger at a premium price.

Rating...3 Bites (rounded up from 2.5 bites)

Candle Cafe & Grill--Venice, CA

2013-01-22T21:30:00.000-08:00

325 Ocean Front Walk
Venice, CA 90291
310-314-4456
website

Happy Meal and I were originally going to meet The Marinater at The Fig Tree in Venice, CA, but that joint was closed when we arrived at 7 PM. We were already beachside in Venice, so we walked a block or so to the next restaurant that we saw, and they had a burger on the chalkboard. Sold! The establishment was Candle Cafe and Grill. Parking? We were in Venice, CA, so parking was a giant pain in the arse. We parked many blocks away and hoofed it. Anyway, Candle Cafe and Grill was right by the beach, but it was already dark out--we sat inside. The establishment was kind enough to provide Snuggies to its outdoor patrons...nice touch. We ordered a triumvirate of cheeseburgers and settled in for a 15-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Candle Cafe and Grill used 80:20 Certified Angus Beef (CAB), and the cut was Chuck. Accordingly, we ordered our burgers Med-Well. The burgers were beefy. The grind was coarse, so the burgers had a pleasant firmness to the bite. The burgers were juicy without being greasy. The was not a hint of funk, iron, or other notes to complicate the simple flavor of beef and spices. There was a little more connective tissue than I cared for, but Happy Meal didn't seem to mind.

The Seasoning: A generous blend of salt and pepper was used to season the exterior of our1/4 pound burgers. Salt and pepper was all that it took to maximize the flavor that the Chuck brought to this party. The seasoning was just right.

The Sear: The sear on the cheeseburger at Candle Cafe and Grill came courtesy of a hot flat top. The sear was reasonably dark, but it lacked any real crispness. Looking back, it would have been tough to get a great sear on a 1/4 pound burger.

The Preparation: The burger patties were formed gently, so that any protein bonds that formed were minimal. This resulted in tender rather than chewy burgers. The burgers were cooked to a competent Med-Well. Chuck burgers taste best when cooked to Med-Well, because it brings them up to a temperature where the collagen melts. It's that melted collagen that creates the potent, beefy taste associated with Chuck.

The Cheese: We ordered our burgers with a slice of American cheese. The American cheese did its job. Sadly, they dinged us for an extra buck for it. So it goes. Still, I love American cheese. It is simply appropriate on a cheeseburger.

The Bun: The bun was delivered by California Bakery of San Diego. The seeded burger buns were fresh, moist, sweet, yeasty, and lightly toasted. I would have preferred a crispier bun, but this was fine.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: The buns were probably better suited to Candle Cafe and Grill's 1/2 pound burger, but the bun was moist enough that it didn't completely overwhelm the burger patty.

The Toppings: The menu promised Butter Leaf, but the Romaine that showed up in its stead was just fine. The tomato slice was on the green side, but it was flavorful and not at all mealy or hard. The chipotle aioli was especially nice, and it went well with the fries.

The Fries: These were cut in house. The fries were peel-on, par-cooked, and fried to a perfect color in vegetable oil. Candle Cafe and Grill seasoned the fries in vinegar and sea salt. Delicious! The interiors were creamy while the outsides were crisp. The fries were the star of the meal.

The Value: 10 bucks for a 1/4 pound of Chuck was a little too much. Still, the burgers were good, and the fries were better.

Candle Cafe and Grill served up a fine burger and some truly excellent fries. It made me wonder why everyone didn't use vinegar and sea salt on their fries. I was an instant convert.

Burger Review : The burger was fine but a little pricey. The fries were epic.

Rating...4 Bites

Smashburger--Culver City, CA

2013-01-21T21:56:00.002-08:00

10704 Venice Boulevard
#B Suite 330
Culver City, CA 90232
310-893-6244
website

Do you know what I like? I like a good burger located near my home. Enter the recently opened Culver City, Ca location of Smashburger.

This is excerpted from the Smashburger website: "...Why meatballs, not patties? Because unlike the other burger places, we don’t squish. We smash. Place your order and we spring into action, painting the grill with real butter, adding a dash of our secret spice blend, and smashing the meatball with a tool we invented ourselves (it’s so new, it doesn’t even have a name — let’s just call it the smashing tool). Smashing caramelizes the beef, creating a sear that locks in the juices as no other cooking method can. The result is a burger that’s more tender and flavorful than anybody else’s..." Ok, we all know that it's not really caramelization but rather the Malliard Reaction, but that's fine...they were pretty close.

Happy Meal were actually on our way to Yogurtland when we discovered that a Smashburger had opened under our noses. They had only been opened for a day or so, and not all of the metal serving trays had arrived yet. On a subsequent visit, the usual stuff was present. We found free parking in the large lot in the strip mall where the newly minted restaurant was located. We ordered our burgers, fries, and drinks, and we settled in for a 15-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Smashburger's beef was 100% certified, Angus Chuck, which had never been frozen. The flavor was solidly beefy and buttery. There was a pleasant note of funk and a bit of iron. The texture was loose. The beef was juicy, and little on the oily side...cooking a burger in butter will do that. The burger patty was about 4 ounces. All told, the burger meat at Smashburger was darn good and very satisfying.

The Seasoning: The burger patties were properly seasoned with salt, pepper, and other spices. The seasoning perfectly enhanced the strong beefy flavor of the Med-Well Chuck.

The Sear: On our initial visit, the sear was average, but on subsequent visits, the sear was nearly glassy. A Smashburger with a good sear is terrific...a Smashburger with a weak sear is still pretty good.

The Preparation: See above. The burgers came out a perfectly juicy Med-Well. They were cooked on a 425 degree, gas-fired flat top. The cooking method, like the burgers at Super Duper Burger in San Francisco, resulted in tender, juicy, and flavorful cheeseburgers.

The Cheese: There were a number of cheese choices, and I went with American...good choice. The American cheese provided that perfect amount of iron, salt, and creaminess to round out the bite.

The Bun: There were also a number of bun choices at Smashburger. I went with the classic egg bun. This was a fresh, yeasty, moist, sweet, and nicely chewy bun. The bun was properly toasted, and the edge bites had a nice crispness to them.

The Toppings: Smashburger offers a the opportunity to customize one's burger with 8 sauces, 9 veg choices, 7 cheese choices, and 4 bun choices. Those choices varied from location to location. The Romaine lettuce was fresh and crisp. The tomato slices were ripe and juicy. The Spicy Chipotle Mayo was just that, and it was a nice addition to the burger.

The Fries: The fries at Smashburger were hand-cut and peel-on. The seasoning was the right combination of coarse sea salt. The fries were perfectly crisped and golden brown. Win!

The Value: Cheeseburger $5.99--Fries 1.99--Beverage $1.89. That was about 11 bucks with tax for a meal. The value was fine considering the quality of the preparation and the tasty ingredients.

I was pleased to finally have a Smashburger in my area. MIRU 8691 was gone, and Wolfgang's Steakhouse only served a burger at lunch. Happy Meal was equally pleased since he was partial to the shakes. Everything at Smashburger was good...not amazing....but really good.

Burger Review : Smashburger provided a nearby "really good" cheeseburger at a reasonable price.

Rating...4 Bites

Carney's--Los Angeles, CA

2013-01-21T16:53:00.001-08:00

8351 West Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90069
323-654-8300
website

From the Carney's website. "...Carney’s is a family owned business that prides itself on serving some of the best hamburgers and hot dogs in LA, and probably the world. We use the freshest ingredients on the market and have never skimped on quality.

Carney’s was founded in 1975 by John Wolfe, Sr. and his wife Pat Wolfe. Together they worked countless hours building the restaurant into a Sunset Strip destination. In a time when hamburger establishments were popping up all over the place, John chose to build a restaurant out of an old Pacific Railroad passenger train..."

Happy Meal and I were enjoying the day off, and I was dying after dragging my dead arse up and down the Santa Monica stairs a bunch of times. A nasty case of the H3N1 flu had really set me back, and my athletic performance was decidedly lacking. I went from sprinting the damn things in 33 seconds to praying for a quick death after 5 sets. Nothing a burger couldn't cure, though! I had a Groupon for Carney's, and it was in danger of expiring. So off we went. Carney's was, in fact a restaurant inside an old railroad car, and the attached kitchen and storage area was in 2/3ds of another railroad car--points for novelty. Parking was free in the lot behind the restaurant, and that was nice, because parking could be a pain on Sunset.

We ordered a couple of cheeseburgers, an order of fries, two large sodas, and a hot dog for about 20 bucks. The hot dog just looked too good to pass up. Our order was ready in about 15 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger meat at Carney's was fresh,100%, certified, Angus Beef. The flavor was strongly beefy, and some iron notes developed as the burger cooled and oxidized a little. There were no flavors of aging or anything to suggest that the burgers were anything but Chuck. Happy Meal had the double cheeseburger with the 3 ounce patties. I ordered the 1/2 pound cheeseburger. The burger meat was loose and juicy. The fat content was probably right at 20%, and the cheeseburgers were not at all greasy. Overall, the beef at Carney's was better than average.

The Seasoning: There was none. I scoped out the grill area, and I was unable to locate a seasoning shaker.

The Sear: The sear on the cheeseburgers at Carney's was delivered courtesy of a gas-fired flat top. The sear was neither thorough nor crisp. I would have like a solid sear on this burger. As it stood, the sear was average.

The Preparation: The burger patties appeared to have been gently hand-formed by pressing the ground Chuck into a mold. The result was a very tender and juicy bite of burger. The grind was medium. I ordered my burger Med-Well (appropriate for a Chuck burger), and that was how it arrived.

The Cheese: American! No other choices were apparent, and no other choices were needed. Happy Meal's double cheeseburger arrived with two slices of cheese, and this created a gooey, decadent mouth feel. My 1/2 pound cheeseburger arrived with a single slice, and this was not quite enough cheese to compensate for the lack of seasoning on the patty.

The Bun: The unseeded, flattish, burger bun was delivered by Puritan Bakery in nearby (nearby for Los Angeles) Carson, CA. Both Hook Bistro and Burger Lounge (just down the street) used Puritan Bakery buns. Sadly, both Hook Bistro and Burger Lounge served up some weak chow. This was not the case for Carney's! The bun was fresh, sweet, tender, and mildly yeasty. The bun should have been toasted more thoroughly.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was just right.

The Toppings: The cheeseburgers at Carney's arrived buried in a heap of toppings. The Iceberg lettuce was shredded and fresh. The thick tomato slice was a brick (note the clever Jethro Tull reference), and I did not bother to bite into it. The pickle chips were wonderfully sour without being laced with garlic.

The Fries: The fries were standard, frozen, food service, peel-off, par-cooked items, but they cooked up nicely in the zero trans fat vegetable shortening used by Carney's. The fries were lightly seasoned. The fries arrived hot, crisp, and satisfying. The manager was kind enough to provide us with a sample of the chili. I loved the chili...it was meaty, creamy, and just greasy enough to sit on top of a hangover.

The Hot Dog: Damn, that was a tasty hot dog! Happy Meal only allowed me a single bite, and that was grudgingly at best. The snap and flavor reminded me of the amazing bockwursts that I used to get at the Berlin zoo. There was cart outside of the aquarium building that served up bockwurst that I still crave. I don't blame Happy Meal for bogarting the hot dog. Happy Meal described it as eating a Krabby Patty at The Krusty Krab in heaven (drop on the deck and flop like a fish).

The Value: The value at Carney's was quite good, and I was unable to finish my burger due to its generous size.

The cheeseburgers at Carney's were just fine and a good value. The hot dog was world class, however. The chili was a delight. Sadly, I had already crossed the Rubicon of staggering down Sunset after a night of drinking. I could see how Carney's would have been especially satisfying in that mode.

Burger Review : Carney's served up a slightly better than average burger in a very novel setting.

Rating...3 Bites (3 really fine bites..seasoning and sear would have boosted the score)

Nikki -- Venice, Ca

2013-01-13T10:53:00.000-08:00

72 Market Street
Venice, CA 90291
310-450-3010
website

Happy Meal, and I had just recovered from the H3N1 flu that was making the rounds. This was the first year that I skipped getting the flu shot, and it shall be the last. We called up The Marinater, who was taking a break from bench pressing his car (he got his flu shot), and discovered that he had a Groupon for Nikki in Venice, Ca. The metered parking was free on the street after 6:00 PM...bingo. The name of the joint was confusing. The website and other official listings, came up as Nikki, but the signage read, "Nikki's." Nikki had received wildly mixed reviews on Yelp and the lot. We ordered a gang of burgers and settled in for a 20-minute wait.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The menu at Nikki touted 100% Angus beef, and our server's knowledge of the burger did not extend past that. The burger meat appeared to be standard 20% fat Chuck. The flavor was firmly beefy. There was no trace of funk, minerals, or anything else that would have led us to conclude that there was more in the blend than Chuck. The beef was a little rubbery around the edges--we ordered the burgers Med-Well to develop flavor from the Chuck. The grind was coarse, and the mouth feel was firm. Overall, the beef was fine and just a little above average.

The Seasoning: The exterior of the irregular, hand-formed, half-pound burger patty was nicely seasoned with a perfect blend of salt and pepper. The seasoning blend perfectly complemented the beef to maximize the impact of the one-note Chuck.

The Sear: Meh. The Sear on the burger patty at Nikki was unimpressive. The gas-fired grill imparted some moderate grill marks, but there was no crispness.

The Preparation: The burger meat at Nikki was over-manipulated during the patty forming process, and this created too much by way of protein bonds. This resulted in a chewy burger. The burgers were only flipped once during the cooking process--that was appropriate. Additionally, the burgers were juicy, so the kitchen was not guilty of pressing on the patties during the cooking process.

The Cheese: The cheese choices at Nikki were Monterey Jack, Cheddar, and American. I went with American, and I was pleased with the result. The double helping of American cheese worked its customary and expected magic by providing a dependable amount of iron, creaminess, umami, and moisture to the bite. The cheese was a winner.

The Bun: The burger bun at Nikki was a fresh, moist, tender, sweet, seeded burger bun. The bun was nicely toasted. The bun provided just enough sweetness and crunch to balance out the cheeseburger.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was ideal. The bun barely managed to contain the large burger patty. Nonetheless, the bun was up to the task of keeping one's hands grease free without dominating the bite.

The Toppings: The Romaine lettuce was fresh and crisp. The large tomato slice was under-ripe and mealy.

The Fries: The peel-off fries were perfectly crisped and managed to maintain their crunch as they cooled. The fries at Nikki were perfectly salted.

The Value: The cheeseburger and fries at Nikki was listed at $10. All things considered, the value was average.

The burger at Nikki certainly appealed to Happy Meal. The Marinater and I found the cheeseburger to be better than average but not something that we would go out of our way for.

Burger Review : Nikki served up a slightly better than average cheeseburger with terrific side of fries.

Rating...4 Bites (rounded up from 3.5)

Melody Bar & Grill -- Westchester, CA

2012-12-31T09:10:00.001-08:00

9132 South Sepulveda Blvd
Westchester, CA, 90045
310-670-1994
website

This from the Melody Bar and Grill website, "...As Westchester's premier local Bar and Grill we offer up some of the best fare around. We pride ourselves with serving fresh local produce and premium natural meats. Chef de cuisine owner Christian Warren has created a menu that has been coined “Gastrodive”..." These were tall words coming from the former biker bar, across from the In 'n' Out, on the way to the airport. Still, The Marinater had a Groupon, and I truly had nothing else to do on that particular afternoon. Besides, The Marinater can be good company if you can get past the fact the he keeps change for the parking meter behind his eye patch.

We walked into a bustling establishment at around 2 in the afternoon. It wasn't the usual bar crowd, either. This was a dining room full of diners....not a bad sign. We ordered a couple of burgers, and our meals arrived in about 12 minutes. During our meal Mr. Warren came out and discussed the food with us. We were refreshed to talk burgers with a chef so passionate about quality, variety, and innovation when it came to American Comfort food. 7 kinds of Mac and Cheese...Cheeseburger Potstickers...onions caramelized in peach syrup. The atmosphere was very kid friendly, and Mr. Warren's young daughter detached herself from his hip to snag a few fries from my plate--she was adorable.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Hooray! The burger beef at Melody Bar and Grill was sourced from Rocker Brothers. The custom blend of NY Strip, Short Rib, and Sirloin was ground and blended by the purveyor. The fat content in the 7 ounce burger patties was 20%. The burgers just tasted like steak. They were strongly beefy. There was a medium note of aged funk. There were strong notes of blood and some other subtle mineral notes. The grind was coarse, so one was kept mindful that one was masticating a mouthful of quality steak cuts. The bite was loose, but the components were firm, and this struck a perfect and juicy balance. The beef bordered on perfection.

The Seasoning: The exterior of the burgers at Melody Bar and Grill were hit with just enough salt to make the flavors of the beef pop.

The Sear: The sear on the cheeseburger came courtesy of a properly hot, cast-iron grated, gas-fired grill. The sear wasn't amazing but it was adequate to impart the expected flavors and textures.

The Preparation: We ordered Med-Rare burgers, and we were handed Med-Rare burgers. The burger patties were formed, by hand, during the prep cycle. The high-quality ingredients were treated with care and respect. There was no sign of over-manipulation of the patties. The burgers were turned 3 times during the cooking process. I would have preferred a single flip to allow a better sear to develop, but the burgers turned out really well, nonetheless.

The Cheese: The cheese choices at Melody Bar and Grill were Swiss, Goat, Gorgonzola, Cheddar, and American. My burger was draped in a perfectly melted slice of American cheese. The cheese provided just the right amount of creaminess and richness to round out the bite.

The Bun: The bun was a Pretzel bun from Rockenwagner Bakery. The bun worked. It was fresh, soft, savory, and properly toasted to deliver some crunch with every bite. Pretzel buns can work, but they have to be fresh. Otherwise the chewiness can detract from the dish.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: Perfection.

The Toppings: The Iceberg lettuce was sweet and crisp. The tomato slices were on the mealy side, but that was forgivable in the light of the excellent quality experienced throughout the meal. The bacon on the burger was thick, crisp, and smokey.

The Fries: The hand-cut, peel-on, par-cooked fries were reminiscent of what I have come to enjoy at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. The fries were crisp, well-cooked, creamy in the centers, and properly seasoned with salt and oregano. The fries were a winner.

The Value: At 10 bucks for two burgers (Groupon), the value was stunning. At 10 bucks for a high-quality burger and a pile of fries, the cheeseburger value was good at Melody Bar and Grill.

Melody Bar and Grill was first opened in 1952. It had a long history...Elvis and his mother once had lunch in the booth next to mine. Later, the establishment became a windowless biker bar. More recently, the former owners of Ma'Kai in Santa Monica transformed the restaurant into something better than it had to be. There would have been plenty of patrons at the establishment killing time before flights at nearby LAX. Still, Chef Warren brought his A-game and served up thoughtfully innovative versions of American Comfort food at great prices. P.S. since Ma'Kai Lounge traded hands, the wheels have fallen of in terms of customer experience.

Burger Review : An excellent cheeseburger at a fair price. I will return to try those Cheeseburger Potstickers, though.

Rating...5 Bites (rounded up from 4.5)

The Standing Room -- Redondo Beach, CA

2012-12-30T22:43:00.001-08:00

144 North Catalina Ave.
Redondo Beach, CA 90277
310-374-7545
website

Chi Burger suggested that we try The Standing Room. His good friend lived a few minutes away, and he had a great experience there. I set off for Redondo Beach and put my faith in my GPS. That was a good thing, because I would have driven by The Standing Room repeatedly, otherwise. The tiny burger joint was tucked away in a liquor store, and there was a cluster of tables outside. We arrived at the end of a Sunday lunch rush, so things were humming. The menu was a series of Hawaiian and Korean inspired dishes, and burger figured prominently. On Sundays, the menu was burgers only. That seemed like a good sign. The tiny kitchen held 4 staffers, and I happened upon a member of the staff that had close to zero knowledge about the burgers..so it goes. We ordered our burgers and fries. We took our order slips and then beverages from the various drink cases in the liquor store and paid at the front counter. We then settled in (outside) for a lengthy 20-minute wait for our burgers. I ordered the Naked burger ($7.00) and regular fries ($3.50). My meal, including soft drink came to $13.17...there was no way to tip, and, looking back, I was grateful for that.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: The burger meat at The Standing Room was a mystery to the counter staffer that I interacted with. The half-pound patty was front loaded with funk. The funk was ferocious. I assumed that this was the result of dry-aging and a generous amount of Short Rib in the blend. The burger was funky to the point of having organ meat notes. While I was led to believe that the burger would arrive Med Rare, it was actually quite Well Done. Only one of our three burgers came out at Med Rare. I was not willing to wait an additional 20 minutes. The high fat content of the beef blend (25%?) kept the burger from becoming rubbery. At first I guessed the blend was Sirloin, Short Rib, and Chuck. The lack of chewiness, combined with the firm bite led me to swap out my guess of Sirloin for Brisket. The grind was medium. Aside from the heavy funk, the thick burger carried a mild beef note. The beef was good, but it would have been better had it been properly cooked.

The Seasoning: My burger at The Standing Room was properly seasoned with salt and pepper.

The Sear: The bottom of my burger patty had a dark sear. Sadly, that sear was not crisp. The kitchen employed both griddle weights and a metal dome. That dome steamed the burger patty to cook it faster, but that also saturated the seared layer with steam. This robbed it of texture--pity. The top of the patty was the same greyish color as the interior of my over-cooked patty.

The Preparation: Sloppy. The burger was over-cooked. The burger was cooked in a way that ruined the sear. After I surveyed the tiny kitchen, I surmised that the meat was delivered pre-ground and blended. The thick, irregular patties were formed by hand and with enough pressure to keep them together but so much that the burgers became rubbery.

The Cheese: Meh. The thin slice of Cheddar was an afterthought. It was not noticeable in the face of the mighty funk, heavy fat content, and buttery brioche. The cheese was a waste of calories. It brought no joy to the party in terms of flavor or texture.

The Bun: BreadBar provided the hefty brioche that encased my cheeseburger. The bun was scarcely toasted, so the butter in the bun was too cool to provide the tender bite that the bun was designed to deliver. The bun was soft, yeasty, moderately sweet, and fresh. The bun was what we have come to expect of BreadBar, and a little more heat would have allowed the bun to truly shine. Some crispness would have been deeply appreciated--this would have compensated for the sodden sear on the beef.

The Meat To Bun Ratio: This was perfect.

The Toppings: The mixed greens were at least a day past their prime. The mix clearly came from a bag, and the leaves were beginning to blacken around the edges...yuck. The Roma tomato slices were pink and on the mealy side.

The Fries: The peel-off fries were crisp, well-salted, and golden. Sadly, the fryer oil was either rancid or had been used to cook fish. The oil imparted an off taste to the fries, and this was off putting after I had dropped $3.50 for potato sticks. I didn't notice any fry cutting appliance in the kitchen, so I assumed that the fries arrived frozen in bags.

The Value: 7 bucks for a half-pound burger would have been a good value had the ingredients been treated with respect. $3.50 for fries cooked in off tasting oil was a thumb in the eye. The lack of standards in the kitchen of The Standing Room took the value down to something just below average. I was simply not interested in finishing any part of my meal.

I attributed the collapse of quality at The Standing Room to a perfect storm of "end of rush" fatigue, coasting on laurels, and poor quality control. The owner/chef ducked out before our burgers left the pass. One was Med Rare; mine was Well Done: Chi Burger's was a chewy Well Done.

Burger Review : Great ingredients barely kept the cheeseburger at The Standing Room from sinking beneath the waves of carelessness.

Rating: 3 Bites...the 4 Bites ingredients were muted by weak preparation and a lack of standards in the kitchen. I wanted this burger to be better than it was.

Rascal -- Los Angeles, CA

2012-12-16T09:07:00.000-08:00

801 South La Brea Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90036
323-933-3229
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First off...my apologies for a month of no new reviews. I found myself unemployed, job searching, re-employed, and in the role of single, full-time dad in rapid succession. This was a perfect storm in terms of time and focus. Many thanks to those of you that reached out to see if all was well. All is well...I hated the old job (dreaded going in--even though I adored my co-workers)....I really like the new job (they let me do my job)...and I am pretty fond of my youngster (Happy Meal), so things turned out nicely.

I had tried the burger at Rascal in the past, and I found it to be of high quality but aggressively seasoned. I had high hopes for a gentler touch on the seasoning shaker on this outing. Rascal was a gastro pub, so the quality of the ingredients and preparation was not likely to be an issue. I spoke at some length with Chef Michael, and I learned that the ingredients were of even higher quality than I had anticipated.

I ordered the Rascal Burger ($11), and I asked that all of the toppings be delivered on the side. My cheeseburger arrived in about 10 minutes.

The Burger Breakdown...

The Beef: Wow! This was a 21-day, dry-aged blend of Chuck, Rib Eye, and Sirloin from Harris Ranch. The 80:20 beef was delicious. The aging provided an appropriate level of funk to the bite. The Sirloin and Rib Eye provided complexity in terms of steak texture and a richness of mineral and beef notes. The bite was tender with the Sirloin providing exactly the right amount of resistance. The Sirloin lingered to remind the diner that this was a patty of ground steak. The beef at Rascal was most satisfying.

The Seasoning: The seasoning on my Rascal Burger was a hickory/mesquite-infused blend of salt and pepper. In a smaller dose (1/3), this would have been effective and delicious. However, the sheer amount of seasoning altered the taste of the dish to resemble meatloaf. It required some judicious wiping down to allow the beef to shine through that blast of seasoning.

The Sear: Rascal cooked their burgers on a gas-fired grill with cast iron grates. The sear was limited to thin grill marks. The sear was decidedly lacking, but this was countered by the truly excellent quality of the beef. Still, a crisp sear would have been nice.

The Preparation: The burgers were pattied up during the prep cycle and allowed to rest. The patties were formed with medium pressure to create firmness without chewiness. The ground beef was not over-manipulated. The irregular, 1/3 pound burgers were turned once during the cooking process to bring the temperature up to Med Rare, as requested.

The Cheese: Rascal employed a sliced of provolone to do the job better suited to a slice of Monterey Jack Cheddar. The mild Provolone was lost in the heavy seasoning and firm steak textures. The cheese was wasted in the dish and only served to provide calories.

The Bun: The burger bun at Rascal was a torta provided by La Brea Bakery. The torta was nominally toasted, but it was fresh and just chewy enough. The torta was savory, and this would have been very nice had the cheeseburger not been over-seasoned.

The Meat-To-Bun Ratio: This was just right.

The Toppings: The caramelized onions were nicely sweet and the greens that accompanied the burger were fresh and crisp.

The Fries: The fries at Rascal were hand-cut and par-cooked. The peel-on, shoestring fries were perfectly seasoned, and they remained crisp as they cooled. The fries were solid.

The Value: A Rascal Burger was 10 bucks. A plate of fries was $3.50. The burger was properly priced when one considered the ingredients. The fries were a poor value. Altogether, the value was average.

Rascal served a burger worth checking out...I would suggest that the diner request light seasoning, since I have encountered an over-seasoned burger on both of my visits. The ingredients were terrific, and the burgers were formed and cooked with care and competence.

Burger Review : A very good, but over-seasoned burger. This one had great potential.

Rating....4 Bites