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Last weekend I visited what is likely the only coffeeshop to have a pun of a Kurt Vonnegut book as their name. It’s quite topical too, seeing as the shop is located directly across the street from Portland Community College’s Cascade campus. That also happens to be the major influencing factor for the atmosphere inside: laptops, books, and more laptops. I want to say that at any given time 4 out of every 5 patrons are students that are having some coffee while studying.

I actually went here a month ago in an attempt to write my first review on it. The experience was very enjoyable, but I was ill-prepared because the camera that I brought to take some pictures with had a dead battery. Fail on my part. The good part is that this review can be based on two visits now instead of one!

Accessibility

Coffeehouse-Five is located in North Portland (or NoPo if you want to sound like an jackass) where there’s not much traffic aside from the students of PCC rushing to their classes. This means that there’s almost always parking right out front or at least within one block from the door. This is way better than having to park 5 blocks away from your destination in places like the Pearl District.

Ambiance

As I stated earlier, the crowd here is mostly students burying their heads in books or talking with each other about whatever project they’re working on. This may be a subjective thing, but I feel like it adds to the ambiance in a positive way. You get the feeling that shit is getting done there. I may not be doing anything, but things are being done around me and that makes me feel like I might be doing something productive by proxy.

They have a communal table which I’m sure caters to large study group sessions but can also serve as an excellent means of starting up conversations with strangers. One interesting thing to note is that my visit a month ago was on a rainy day, and practically every inch of the interior windows was covered in condensation. I’m not sure what was up with their ventilation system, but it was a little weird. On a positive note though, it seems that the art on the walls of this shop is rotated fairly regularly. Between my two visits, all of the art on the wall had changed, so take that as you will.

Coffee

Olympia Coffee Roasting Co. is the main star on the bar here with their espresso blend Big Truck. Fun name that makes you feel like a happy kid when you say it. The first of my two visits, they had a single origin as an option, but I can’t for the life of me recall what it was. The second visit when I had my camera, they had their extra grinder empty, so Big Truck was the only option.

I had an espresso and a cappuccino, both of which tasted incredible. The shot filled my mouth with a nice warm and buttery feeling that stuck with me long after I finished it. The cap was very well crafted, almost identical to the experience of the shot but with some milk to compliment some of the flavors and texture. I really couldn’t find anything wrong with the drinks I received. The same goes for my other visit, in which I ordered an espresso and a macchiato with a very similar taste result. They definitely have learned Big Truck intimately and know exactly what to tell it to have it perform at its best. Big kudos to them!

Staff

If this place had any major inconsistencies between my two visits, this is the category it was in. I’ll just write two separate descriptions of my visits. In chronological order:

First Visit: The instant that I ordered an espresso and macchiato from the barista, a dialog begun. We talked about the Western Barista Championship, the shops discontinued cuppings on Sundays, the new Barista location, and standard daily minutia. He carried himself with a certain air of confidence in his craft of extracting espresso, but not to the point of cockiness, and was genuinely interested in the conversation we had. My experience overall was boosted dramatically by my interaction with him.

Second Visit: My order was placed with little to no additional conversation. Bits of daily minutia, but nothing of much significance. The barista was talking with someone else, which is perfectly fine, I don’t want to impede! He didn’t seem too thrilled about being there, and after a couple more interactions with him, I discovered the reason: he wasn’t supposed to work that day. Alright, that’s understandable, at least he wasn’t being a dick. When it came time for me to order a sandwich, another employee had taken reigns of the cash register, and I’ve got to say it made me a little uncomfortable. If there’s such a thing as an “I don’t give a shit” posture, she was rocking it flawlessly. Sunglasses adorned, hat pulled down over the top of her face, and unresponsive to most of what I say. It wasn’t any type of “I’m better than you” at all, it was just pure, unadulterated lack of concern. I’m not one to normally complain, but I must say that I felt like a dick for interrupting her chilling. I don’t think a customer is supposed to feel like that, ever!

As you can tell, it’s been a mixed bag for me in this category. The first guy was exactly what I want when I visit a coffee shop, hands down. My day was actually better having interacted with him. The second guy was fairly neutral, no enhancements to my day, but no pooping on it. That lady though, I can safely say made my day a little worse. This seems to be fairly inconsistent as far as I can tell. Maybe the large number of college students have worn down their friendliness, who knows. I do know, however, that the gentleman from my first visit will be working at the new Barista location once it opens, so I don’t think you will find him at Coffeehouse-Five anymore (at least behind the counter).

Ratings

Accessibility: 9

Ambiance: 8

Coffee: 10

Staff: 6

Conclusion

Go to Coffeehouse-Five if you want a really good coffee. You may have to deal with a bunch of students zipping away on their laptops, but that’s inconsequential. Don’t expect a good interaction with the staff, but don’t be surprised if it’s a good one. You can be fairly certain that what you end up putting in your mouth will more than make up for any negative parts of the trip.

Last night I hit up the Barista 1-year anniversary party which also served as a sneak peak of the new location. Like a good guest, I arrived in a timely fashion at the start of the party.

Right away I noticed the space is a step up above the other location. Instead of having a physical separation between the bar/baristas and the tables, the seating areas seemed to engulf the bar, as if the bar was the star of a show. No matter where you stand in this space, you have a direct view of the baristas and can engage them while they do their thing. I can’t emphasize how much I appreciate this in a coffee shop. It just makes the vibe of the space much friendlier and fun.

When I arrived, the shop had a good number of people in it already. Everyone was laughing and having a great time and the Barista crew was running like a well-oiled machine. If the Mistral wasn’t in use, it was because the grinder was. I don’t think I saw that poor thing take a break the entire time I was there. The beer taps and wine had their own dedicated server, which also never got a chance to rest unless the kegs were being switched out.

Despite the ever-increasing size of the crowd in the ever-constant size of the space, this team of baristas managed to fire out incredible shot after incredible shot, all while socializing with the crowd of friends and family. To give an idea for how packed this place got, at one point when I wanted to go to the tip jar, located approximately 20 feet down the counter, I ended up going out the front door and walking around outside to the other entrance because it was faster.

I think it goes without saying that this was an amazing anniversary party. It was pretty difficult to go to this and not get excited for the opening of this new coffee shop. With a friendly staff, friendly space, and great drinks (both espresso and beer!) this will definitely be a great addition to the list of Portland coffee shops to brag about!

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