Here at The Calm Space, we’re dedicated to bringing a sense of calm and tranquillity to your life and one of the ways we hope to do that is by offering you the chance to go into our regular monthly prize draw.

Register once to automatically go into the draw each month to win fantastic prizes chosen to enhance the calm space in your life. All prizes are donated by our wonderful contributors and sponsors.

Our prizes are growing as The Calm Space readership is growing – and we’d love to have you along for the journey.

OUR PRIZE THIS MONTH

For July we have a copy of SARK’s deliciously inspirational book: Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper: Gifting the World with Your Words and Stories, and Creating the Time and Energy to Actually Do It to give away.

As this book is so special, we’re changing the rules (as is our prerogative, we’re women, after all).

All people who leave a comment on any Space during the month of July will go in the draw to win the book.

Additionally, everyone already registered (and if you’re not, simply enter your details below) has the chance to win one of two beautiful-to-write-with Parker Pens - various colours.

The prizes will be drawn on July 30th and the winners will be notified by email.

Winners will be announced in the August issue of The Calm Space.

To enter to win one of our fabulous prizes (you’ll be automatically entered in future prize drawings) please provide your details below.

You will be sent an email asking you to confirm your entry. Please look out for the email and make sure you click the link to finish confirming your details. We’d hate you to miss out!

We will send you a quick email each month to let you know when each new issue of The Calm Space has been published.

We will never sell, rent, trade or share your email with anyone, ever.

ANNOUNCING OUR WINNERS FOR JUNE

The six winners of our prize draw for June are

Cecelia from Brisbane

Diane from Brisbane

Monique from Gold Coast

LH from New Zealand

Margi M from Australia

Kirsten from Brookline USA

Congratulations to each of you!

Cecilia, Diane and Monique each win a CD from Peter Healy who was profiled in Sound Space last month.

LH, Margi and Kirsten have each won a place on the July tele-seminar explaining the 5 Love Languages, being run by our very own Chris Owen of Pink Apple.

Very often “storage solutions” are not the answer.

Have you ever bought a beautiful box to hold your stuff, only to find your stuff doesn’t all fit inside, or the box doesn’t fit where you wanted to put it?  That’s probably because the box came along too early in the organising process.  Storage “solutions” should come towards the end.

Or perhaps you bought a beautiful container for something you use all the time, but find putting away in the container just never happens?  That’s probably due to the wrong type of container for your needs.

What looks good in the shop or online or in a catalogue may not work in reality for so many reasons.  It basically boils down to unsuccessful generic solutions for specific problems.

Very often I’m invited to help a client with their clutter, only to find that “storage solutions” are part of that clutter problem.  I wish I could rewind the clock and tell them the truth so they could save their time and money.

So here are some tips to help you save time and money before committing to storage solutions -

• First, declutter and sort as much as possible.
• Look at the whole situation. There may be things you have on hand which could be repurposed, or different ways of using the space.
• Determine your patterns, i.e. are you likely to return things to boxes, or do you prefer to have things on display?
• Measure and research both your spaces and the options.
• Allow “wiggle room”. That is, to avoid outgrowing your new storage applications, allow extra space for future growth.
• It’s worth waiting for the right solution, rather than spending only to regret later.

Storage can be both beautiful and useful when properly designed.  And it needn’t cost the earth.  But first things first.

And that’s the truth about storage solutions.

Although I always make the distinction between religion and spirituality, I will use religious examples here:

Picture two sides going to war – a religious war. Both pray to their ‘God’ for victory and believe the ‘truth’ to be on their side. Technically only one side ever ‘wins’ a war (although no-one ever wins a war, as we know). So an ‘absolute truth’ is difficult if not impossible to define. I won’t even go into how many countless millions have died over the years in the name of wars fought about religious ‘truth’.

Great Egret (Ardea Alba) by Mike Baird on flickr

Jesus said, “If you continue in my word, you are really my disciples. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” This could easily be taken out of context. He wasn’t asking his listeners to tell the truth. The ‘truth’ to which Jesus referred was belief in what He said on behalf of God. The Jews thought they were already ‘free’ as descendants of Abraham, couldn’t get past that, and so did not understand what Jesus meant by ‘truth’. Spiritual truth cannot be defined, put in a box and tied with a bow.

I’m not sure where that leaves us, other than listening to our bodies. We know when what we think, say or do has integrity for us. Our bodies will happily acknowledge a ‘good’ feeling or knowing. It feels ‘right’. When we are out of integrity; being arrogant in our opinions or telling lies, our bodies will be ‘screaming’ at us if we are conscious.

In the end, the ‘truth’ for each of us is what we understand it to be when we have an open mind, an open heart and an open channel to the Universe. No hidden agendas, no scores to settle, no ill will towards anyone else and no self denial contribute to our best ‘truth’. Fortunately Source is forgiving if we are giving it our best shot!

Love, peace and wisdom

Web 2 by Amy Palko

Lesson 1 - Trusting Yourself

A single silken thread spans the distance between dustbin and windowpane.  The spider responsible depends from a second thread as it plans its web.  Moving from bin to window to sticky silk, an intricate, delicate design materialises thanks to the methodical attentions of the tiny creature.

By morning, the web, this masterpiece of nature, reflects the dawn’s rays in its many dew drops, and it is truly dazzling in its radiant splendour.  Then, before the dew has evaporated in the strengthening sun, the web is demolished as I drag the bin round to the front of the house for its weekly collection.

The spider, undaunted, begins again this time in a new, potentially safer location between windowpane and pebble-dashed wall.  Things may fall apart, but it is always within us to build again and build better.

Lesson 2 - Trusting Your Children

Make a Wish by Amy Palko

The inevitable gust of wind, broken slightly by the long ripening grasses, brushes the cloudlike seedhead and the dandelion lets go…

It lets go of its seeds, trusting its progeny to the will of the zephyrs and the breezes that will carry them far and wide as it disperses with random ease.  The small and seemingly insignificant seeds hitch a ride on the air currents: waltzing over fields and meadows, car parks and supermarkets, farmyards and playgrounds, suburban order and urban hubub.

And then the wind dies down and the seeds settle, finding their place in the world, forming roots, growing strong.

The dandelion, now bereft, maintains its faith in the seeds’ survival and in their ability to thrive no matter where they may find themselves.  By relinquishing control, our children forge their independence and their spirits soar.

Agricultural Patchwork by Amy Palko

Lesson 3 - Trusting Home

The arrival of the feathered, fork-tailed shape against the deep azure blue heralds summer in Scotland.  Every year, I watch for their distinctive silhouettes swooping and diving across a ripening patchwork of crops and listen out for their sweet call.

They enact a ritual yet playful dance of courtship: the two birds flying close and then pulling away, encircling and diverting, diving and soaring.  Flashes of red plumage held in contrast with otherwise dark feathers.

After a summer of productive frivolity in which mates were well met, nests constructed, and young raised, the temperature dips, and signals that it is time to press onwards: onwards to a place where the sun shines and the land resists the cold.

They take to the skies, their cries rising and falling as they climb higher and higher, driven on by an irrepressible urge to fly south for the winter, to leave the winter to those hardier souls whose hearts can resist the icy Arctic blast.

However, the swallow knows he will return.  As it is inscribed in his genetic code to migrate to warmer climes when the land of the north turns white with frost, so it is inscribed that he will fly home when the thaw is complete, the days lengthen and everyone’s attention turns to the changing of the seasons.

On his flight south and his return back north, the swallow never doubts his own ability to find home, or that home will welcome him with its regular familiarity.  Home for us may be a place or a person, a habit or a habitat, but, like the swallow, we must never undermine our trust in ourselves to relocate it, as our inner compass points true north regardless.

The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully have been kindness, beauty and truth

~Albert Einstein~

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Love in a Mist by lepiaf.geo on Flickr

Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices.

Do the hardest thing on earth for you.

Act for yourself.

Face the truth.

~ Katherine Mansfield ~

We all have so many roles in our busy life. We’re daughter first. And often sister. Then comes girlfriend, partner or wife. And mother. And then there are all the other occupational roles. And always, I hope, friend.

As life ebbs and flows, so will the roles we play. At times, our personal relationships will take centre stage, consuming most of our energy and time. At others, our occupation, our calling or some external role will become dominant.

There is one role we don like a mantle of office… as women we seem hardwired to be care-givers. We take care of people. We take care of things. Often at the expense of ourselves.

Over the past decade or so, I, and so many of my friends, have been learning to take care of ourselves first. It’s not easy. We have relapses - sometimes for months at a time. We’ve learned, quite often the hard way, that to ignore our own needs is perilous. We cannot run on empty like we used to when we were twenty.

Physically, spiritually and emotionally we need to keep topping up the tank so it never gets anywhere near empty.

And that is so much harder than it sounds when you’re a wife, mother, daughter, sister, home owner, friend, chauffeur, nurse, chef, washer-woman, bread winner…

What I’ve found is it all starts with permission. Not from your husband. Not from your girlfriend (although she can give you a good shove!). Not from your kids (huh - like that’s ever going to happen!) And not even from your Mother - although she’s probably been there, done that, and could be your greatest cheerleader.

Who do you need permission from?

Why, you, of course.

Permission to breathe. Permission to shed the roles and be, simply and wholeheartedly, you.

Learn about you. Learn what you need to feel nourished. This is some of the most important learning you’ll ever do.

Cherish yourself.

I promise that everyone and everything you care about will benefit from it.

In the chaos that is our daily schedule, earmark time to get to know the most important person in your life.

You.

Your life is a magnificent gift. Rarer than the rarest diamond and more precious than all the gold in the world. When you treasure the gift you are, you find who you are, beyond those life roles. Beyond the carer-extraordinaire. Beyond the woman with the full diary, and never-ending to-do list.

Deep within is the you that has been waiting, patiently, for you to find her. Let her out, and listen closely. She is wise beyond compare, and always knows the truth about you.

Throw off the burdens of expectation, guilt and shame. It’s time to show the world your true brilliance.

Cherish yourself. Act for yourself. Face the truth.

Infinite riches are all around you if you will open your mental eyes and behold the treasure house of infinity within you. There is a gold mine within you from which you can extract everything you need to live life gloriously, joyously, and abundantly.

~Joseph Murphy~

Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive
-Sir Walter Scott-

Fall to Heaven - image by Sharif from flickr

In an ideal world, we’d all be endlessly truthful.

If you talk to newly-coupled men or women, they’ll tell you how important honesty is in their relationship.

But how elastic is your version of truth or honesty?

Are you committed to absolute truth?

Are you committed to excruciating honesty?  Or is truth a matter of degree for you?  And if so, how do you decide where to draw the line?

Is truth defined differently by each one of us?  If so, whose truth is real, and whose isn’t?

In fact, what is truth?

The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “quality or state of being accurate, honest, sincere or loyal”

Given that definition, where does truth fit into these scenarios?

Is truth:

• disclosing the history of your love life as a sign of commitment to a new relationship?
• vowing that she has NOT put on weight nor does her bum look big in those pants?
• keeping your own bank account and keeping its contents private?
• blaming that little ding in the car on some idiot in the supermarket car park?
• throwing out a disgusting “favourite” t-shirt and saying it got mangled in the washing machine?
• faking an orgasm?
• colluding with the kids to keep a misdemeanour a secret from Mum/Dad?
• revealing ALL the experiences on the footy trip/annual conference on your return?
• telling your child about adoption/donated sperm or eggs?
• revealing all the details of your sexual fantasies?
• hiding the kid’s least favourite vegetable in the hamburger mix?

(Yes I know those questions weren’t all couple-only.  But, family life IS part of relationships.)

Thinking about these questions will get ANYONE smarting with a little pang of guilt. (How do you think I knew some of the ones to write?  And no! I’m not telling which ones! Truly!)

The truth is …

Humans are rarely committed to absolute honesty.

Of course, some of the time, the world doesn’t fall in because of omissions or limitations to the truth.  e.g. Most women want reassurance that they’re still lovable, even if their bum is bigger than they’d like.  So, in their hearts they don’t see their partner’s untruth about those pants as anything but a message of love.

But in relationships, we must never forget that one person’s minor loose truth can be another person’s world/dream-shattering moment.

And what happens if communication in the relationship is so ugly that to tell a truth will most likely lay a few too many straws on that poor old camel’s back?  What then?

But where does it end?

If the consequence of a truth is to hurt someone’s feelings, is that a justification for a lie?  Whose problem is it when that hurt is delivered?

Truth and honesty are subjects that always seem to be part of the discussion when couples see me for personalised consulting.  I’m always reminded of that mid-90s movie Secrets and Lies. It so clearly displayed the toxicity created by secrets and lies.  Untruths/lies/secrets will always change the dynamics between people.  They breed more lies.  And with each one, comes another puff of poisonous gas into the relationship.  Eventually the accumulation reaches toxic levels, and the whole she-bang explodes around us.

When truth is held loosely and the talk is cheap, then the biggest casualty is trust.  “If he couldn’t tell me he went to a men’s club with his mates, what else doesn’t he tell me?“  And it might not be total distrust, at first.  It might just be shaky trust.  But with every discovered untruth, will come another brick in the wall!

And if you’re mentally screaming “It’s none of his/her business“, then perhaps you’re protesting a little too loudly.  Whose interests have you got at the top of your mind?  Perhaps they’re NOT your partner’s!

Where do you draw the line when it comes to truth and lies?  How confident are you that it’s in the right place to maintain trust in your relationship?

How often does “what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him” cross your mind?

So have you ever asked your partner just what they do and don’t want to know about?  If not, why not?

Go on, I dare you!  It makes for an interesting discussion over a warm meal and a glass of red!

I highly suggest the following treatment once a week through the winter months. The benefit of bathing in our ‘sensual bath oil’ is you come out of the bath hydrated and there is no need to apply any moisturisers to your body, just get straight into bed and have a wonderful night sleep, enjoy a purposeful dream where your heart can flow to the beating of truth.

Make note in the morning of your dream and spend time pondering the true meaning of the images, colours and feeling that it gave you. Hopefully it will give you insight to where your truth is, if your dream is upsetting it may give you clues to start the path of creating the very opposite feeling the dream gave you when you awoke. Remember in life we have opposites, male female, day night, love hate and so on.

I suggest Sensual Bath Oil

170ml Rose Water

¼cup Pink Clay

130ml Macadamia Oil

Sensual blend:

20 drops of Ylang Ylang 1^st pure essential oil

20 drops of Australian Sandalwood pure essential oil

Combine rose water and clay.  When the clay has dissolved pour into a bottle.

Combine the macadamia oil and sensual blend.  Mix thoroughly.

Pour the oil into the bottle with water blend.

Let this settle, the oil will rise above the rose water.

Directions for use:

Shake the bottle well then pour 2 capfuls in running water of your bath.

Enjoy!

From Reel Life Wisdom, my daily quote last Friday read:

Honesty is not synonymous with truth.
The Departed (2006) Madolyn (Vera Farmiga)

That led me over to their site, and a quick search for ‘truth’ in movie quotes brought up eight pages of quotes - truth is obviously a common theme running through movies! Here are a couple I thought you may enjoy:

This is about knowing the difference between right and wrong, between the truth and a lie.  If you can’t tell the difference, then you can’t trust anyone.  And if you can’t trust anyone, you can’t love.

Georgia Rule 2007 - Dermot Mulroney

and

There’s what people want to hear, then there’s what people want to believe, there’s everything else, then there’s truth.

The International 2009 - James Rebhorn

Lots of food for thought there.

Our Truth issue for July is similarly full of wisdom, questions and plenty of fodder for your brain and your heart.

Following her writing debut here last month, Amy Palko again provides beauty in words and pictures with The Spider, The Seed and The Swallow: 3 Lessons on Trust from Nature.

Angela, always practical and organised, lets us in the secret Truth about Storage Solutions.

Chris asks the hard questions and challenges us with Truth and Lies in Relationships: Are you a Perpetrator or Victim (or both)?

A glorious recipe for your night-time bath from Joanne allows you to dream true dreams and sleep blissfully.

The books Marj has selected for us this month have me longing for a holiday (anywhere warm!) with nothing to do but sit and read.

A discussion of truth as a religious concept is bound to be a little controversial - in Spiritual Truth, Annie explains that in the end, it all comes down to us.

And I’ve taken a look at The Truth about You: Lessons in a Woman’s Life.

And, to top all that off, like the sprinkles on your favourite cupcake - we have a beautiful wallpaper for you to download to your desktop at Breathing Space; we’ve a chance for you to win a very special book (new rules - so make sure you pop over to the Monthly Prize Draw page to find out the details); and there are a couple of announcements over at Happening Space, including the launch of GreenKeeper: the new education program to help you banish confusion and make healthy decisions about your lifestyle. We also ask you to add your vote to aid Act for Kids.

Whew! Remember, you don’t have to read it all at once. In fact, we think it’s best if you take all the goodness of The Calm Space in small, delicious, bite sized chunks. Bookmark us and come back whenever you’re in need of a little calm, inspiration or motivation.  We’ll be here, kettle on, ready for you - and if you’re lucky, yummy cupcakes to share.

Have a beautiful, trusting month

Káren x

How can I easily change to a more sustainable lifestyle?

How to read ingredient labels? How to avoid toxins?

How do I look after my body and skin naturally? What’s safe to use during pregnancy?

Learn all this and much, much more by joining GreenKeeper now!

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GREENKEEPER - What Are the Benefits for Me?

Top 3 benefits of a GreenKeeper membership for You:

• Improvement in your health and your family’s health
• Become aware and empowered to make the best purchasing decisions – becoming an informed ‘green’ shopper
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GreenKeeper membership will provide you with the facts so you can lead and maintain a sustainable and healthy (non-toxic) lifestyle. The membership is designed as a ‘guide’ to educate the consumer and provide advice from accredited guest speakers.

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GreenKeeper membership includes:

• Exclusive weekly audio downloads (MP3 files) – each a ½ hour seminar  - links to the files will be emailed to you directly each week
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What is the Cost to Join?

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For further details on GreenKeeper please contact:
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Tel: (07) 3257 3788
Email: joanne@mygreenkeeper.com.au
Website: www.mygreenkeeper.com.au