If you don’t have an oil burner or diffuser, you can rub a drop or two onto a cold lightbulb before you turn it on, or add a few drops of the blend to a spray bottle of water and mist it about the room.

Káren’s favourite Stress Relief blend:

12 drops Grapefruit

4 drops Jasmine

4 drops Ylang Ylang

Blend the essential oils in a dark glass bottle, and roll the bottle between your hands to mix well.

Use this mix in an oil burner (I use about 8 drops) or diffuser to help relieve stress and make you feel more optimistic.

This month’s topic is an interesting one. On reflection, I don’t feel qualified to talk about planning since I rarely do it and never in relation to spiritual matters! I’d much rather go along with the flow of the Universe. Renewal however, I can certainly speak to.

Considering oneself ‘spiritual’ is hardly the end of the journey. It is always slightly worrying when someone says, “I’m spiritual” or “I’m a Christian” or “I’m a Moslem”, etc. – ta da! True spirituality is not a badge or a label. It is a very personal way of being which one has usually practised on a daily basis, quietly, without fanfare, and without feeling the need to shove it down someone else’s throat. It cannot really be shared with other people, other than by example.

To maintain one’s spirituality however, renewal is vital. Eckhart Tolle counsels against relying too heavily on one ‘guru’ (and he is one of the greatest). There are many spiritual teachers and one of the best ways to renew is to read or listen to a variety of spiritual teachings and take from each what feels right for you. Another way is to meditate or just be still and breathe for at least 20 minutes every day (hard to find that 20 minutes sometimes I know but well worth the effort!) Another is to find like-minded people with whom you can congregate or correspond to reinforce and renew each other.

The challenge is to renew our thinking, our feeling and our knowing around spirituality. The chaos and busyness around us, other people’s unconscious or seemingly appalling behaviour, all conspire against our remembering the spiritual path we are on.

As Lao-Tsu in the Tao Te Ching says:

Become totally empty.

Let your heart be at peace.

Amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings,

observe how endings become beginnings.

And since prayers or affirmations can become stale if thoughtlessly recited, find some meaningful ones and mean them each time you say them. I love this part of a prayer by another of my favourite teachers, Frederick Bailes:

… the peace that is God’s nature must … be at the heart and center of my being. Nothing was ever intended to interfere with this peace. Whatever is at the bottom of my distress has no place in the Infinite Plan.

…a  timely reminder about perspective and the need to rise above the petty stuff we take on board every day as if it were important. We all need daily reinforcement, no matter how ‘spiritual’ we believe we are. On our own, we tend not to do so well. Renewing our relationship with our Higher Power daily is not only a necessity but a delight. Plan for that if you haven’t yet begun!

Love, peace and wisdom

Break Up

Wilting in the dust

Discovered in betrayal

Soiled love lies broken

Despair

Despair and regret

Spikes of loss puncture each day

A lament of pain

Autopilot

Mute, blinded and numb

There suspended on keen wires

Hangs my acid heart

Recovery

Gentle velvet tip

Soft green bud of renewal

Sees the world as new

Hope

I wait in patience

Hoping you will notice me

Behind my disguise

Celebration

I caught you, wild heart

Remote and rugged you were

Now you are all mine

Renewal

Truly do I love

Embrace and hold with full heart

New life in my arms.

We’re going weekly! You’ll notice that there are only a handful of Spaces up. This is deliberate. After a lot of feedback from our readers (thank you!) I made the decision to go to a weekly format – spreading our articles through the month, rather than all in one big lump at the beginning.

We’re still bringing you a theme every month – and all articles will be based around the theme. For November, we’re bringing you Planning and Renewal, and let me tell you – there are some real gems lined up for you throughout the month!

The final, and kinda sad, change is that we are no long offering a Monthly Prize Draw. When I looked at the work that went in, and the number of unanswered emails and unclaimed prizes (shocking, I know), it was time to let it go. So instead, we’re giving away the very special A Month of Me Time. Simple Daily Actions to Nourish Your Soul. Together with a complimentary subscription to the weekly Calm Notes. Simply enter your first name and email address over there on the right – no strings attached and you can unsubscribe at any time.

I’ve noticed so many people are saying things like “November already? How did that happen?” and “53 days to Christmas – aagghh…” and of course the classic “where did the year go?” And it does often feel like life just whizzes past in front of us while we stand there with our mouths open, stunned. I am so over that feeling!

I want to enjoy every single minute of the next two months before the new decade is upon us. And this requires Planning with a capital P. Planning to enjoy, Planning to notice. Planning to not sit on the sidelines any longer. Want to join me?

Whilst planning to enjoy, I’m going to need energy reserves and boundless enthusiasm. And the only way I know get them is to take care of myself, watch my priorities like a hawk and ensure I renew my spirit, my body and my mind regularly.

And so that brings me to our theme this month, Planning & Renewal.

This week:

At Organising Space – Plan B: Angela’s wonderful take on coping when things go wrong.

At Kitchen Table Space – The Christmas Book: Janice shares her wisdom on making Christmas as joyful as possible.

At Breathing Space – some elbow room for your soul and don’t forget to download your November desktop wallpaper to grace your computer all month long.

Stay tuned for more goodness next Monday with Living Space, Spiritual Space and Nature Space!

As always, I love to hear from you – please either leave a comment below, or email me personally. I do so like feedback.

Wishing you a month filled with delicious moments, and plenty of Me Time to boost your energy ready for the festive season!

Káren x

~Joan Walsh Anglund

Getting It Together - (c) copyright Leah Maclean

Download this image as desktop calendar wallpaper for your PC
(right click on the link below)

Resolution – 1680 x 1050

But I’m smiling. Beside me is my Christmas Book, and wafting from the cupboard is the faint smell of cinnamon, apple and cloves from all the Christmas candles I have stored there. Every October heralds the start of my favourite season – not autumn or winter, but the festive season. Between now and the New Year, we celebrate my son and daughter’s birthdays, US Thanksgiving (what can I say – I ‘steal’ holidays!) and Christmas rituals from all over Europe, starting on the first Sunday of Advent. And every October, I get out my Christmas Book.

In those cosy few days between Christmas Day and New Year’s Day, I take a few quiet hours to myself. Sitting in the flickering glow from the Christmas tree lights, the fire and some scented candles in green and red glass votive jars, I reflect on how we’ve spent the holidays.

My Christmas Book isn’t pretty, just practical. My kids made me stick a festive teddy card on the front a few years ago to remind me to have fun and enjoy being a kid at Christmas. I use a piece of gold, green and red tartan ribbon as a bookmark, and I only write in it with green and red ballpoint pens.

I write about what went well, what I enjoyed most and which scenarios or purchases to avoid next year. I compile detailed lists of what we’ve run out of, and reminders to myself of purchases made in the January sales. (Apparently, I need red and green bows this year, not gold, and it seems like I’ve already bought gift wrap and some gift bags for less than half price.)

I’d never remember any of this if I didn’t write it down. Reading these lists brings me waves of joy at the promise they hold and stops me from impulse buying, assuming we need things we don’t, and buying on automatic pilot.

In these tough financial times, I know there are cards from the January sales up in the loft waiting to be written and recycled ribbons ready to wrap the kids’ gifts; I know that we have “more than enough green and red gift tags” and “loads of small paper plates and big napkins” but I’m reminded that “we need small napkins.”

As I sat with a glass of wine last year and captured all of my thoughts, I covered everything from buying fewer magazines, to choosing jigsaw puzzles with bigger pieces and less snow. (Snow’s tricky.) I wrote about the advantage of pre-ordering some ingredients for our Christmas dinner, to be collected fresh on Christmas Eve, but I also described the anxiety it caused, worrying that I might forget to collect them.

I give myself stern advice about buying too many cheap and sickly Christmas DVD’s and about leaving it till the last minute to wrap sneaky gifts. I also used very big exclamation marks and threats of dire consequences if I was tempted to make all of our Christmas cards again! (I’ve been doing it for twenty five years and it ties up our table for a whole week in November.)

Every October, it’s like reading a long, loving letter from my happy best self, full of heartfelt commentary, tips, and wisdom. In among the warnings (“Don’t buy so many iced fruit slices this year!!” “Don’t start making mulled wine so early in December; you’ll end up scoffing it all!”) are congratulations and praise. (“You bought just the right amount of mini stollen!” “The carrots roasted with thyme, olive oil, white wine and garlic were a triumph!”)

But there was sadness, too. Last year we lost friends to tragedy and some simply drifted. A kind, compassionate me wrote:

“It’s hard, having fewer visitors and scoring out names in the address book, but I just have to learn love, live, and let go. There’ll always be addresses scored out in the book and new ones added. Try and make time to add new ones.”

But as I sit here, on a grey drizzly day in October, weary after a week of teenage tantrums and hormone-fuelled spats, these are the lines from last year’s entry that inspire me and renew my spirit; they remind me that the coming months are a time to lay up memories and dreams, gratitude and gifts to keep us going through tough times.

“I loved the stories the kids wrote for me as a present, but I wish I hadn’t told them off for disappearing when I needed them. I didn’t know they were typing them up.”

“My dad said his presents were perfect and that I had a heart of gold. It gets harder every year; what do you get someone who’s had 84 Christmases?! I know we gave him loads, but I don’t know how many more we’ll have together. He loved decorating the Christmas cake with us. He pretends he can’t use the icing pens, but his reindeer looked like something from Disney and he’s getting better at it every year!”

“My favourite surprises were the kids’ stories, the cushion M knitted and the metal painted Christmas decoration S gave us. I can’t wait to see it again next year – it’ll be like a surprise all over again!”

“The kids both said it was the best Christmas ever. JD behaved perfectly all Christmas day, and so did Mac. It made a difference that they were so appreciative; last year was scarier. Mac loved his stocking and so did JD. I’m so glad they still get pleasure from pens and pencils, notebooks and wee bits and bobs. I hope they never stop loving the details.”

Whether your winter is sweltering hot or snow-covered and glistening, why don’t you buy yourself a notebook now, and look forward to all the pleasure that can come with planning a season of celebration. You’ll thank yourself in 2010.

Let’s face it, it’s easy to stay on track when things runs smoothly.  Well, it’s easier.  You have your routine and it pretty much gets you and family where you need to be, when you need to be there.  Your regular routine has evolved over time so that everyone knows what to expect.  You’re probably so comfortable with it, you cut it fine, leaving little room, or time, for something to go wrong.

But then inevitably it does.  A flat tyre never comes at a convenient time.  Nor does illness or injury.  Getting through these setbacks will be much easier if you have a Plan B.

What to keep in your Plan B kit bag

A sense of humour. Ok, so something’s gone wrong.  It’s annoying, frustrating, maybe even scary.  The first thing you’ll need is some perspective and a sense of humour.  Not that it’s funny, just a recognition that life occasionally throws up challenges which getting angry won’t help.  You’ll be able to function and move on more easily if you have your sense of humour with you.

Phone and numbers. These days if something goes wrong – you can’t make a meeting or are late collecting a child from school – a phone call is expected.  But imagine your frustration if you’re stuck without your phone or the relevant numbers.  So keep your phone with you and charged.  Keep a charger in the car, and keep all your numbers current, including the number for the person you’re on the way to meet for the first time.

A Robin to your Batman. You may be a superhero but when trouble strikes, you’re nothing without a trusty sidekick.  It could be a neighbour, your mum, colleague, a friend willing to drop everything, an older child or your partner.  This is someone who will keep a level head.  You’ll be able to bounce ideas off them and they may even suggest solutions to your dilemma.  They’ll be willing to do something practical – step in to babysit, drive a spare set of keys to you, or bring wine and chocolates to commiserate.

Plan B meals. These are money, time and sanity savers.  Defrosting a casserole from the freezer or heating a can of minestrone from the pantry will be healthier, quicker and cheaper than picking up the phone to dial for pizza.

The practical stuff. A first aid kit in the home and in the car is essential, as is appropriate medication which is safely stored.  If you wear stockings, it doesn’t hurt to keep a spare pair in your desk at work or in the car.  What other emergency supplies would be useful in your situation?

Do you have a Plan B in place?  Has there been a time when you wished you did?

Are you wondering why you would even want to think about beautiful things, you’ve got too much crammed in your head as it is?

A client of mine, Sharon, told me she has no time to watch the sunset in between paying bills and making sure her son attends school. And why would she watch the sunset anyway, there is always so much to be done?

Why, indeed.

Sunrise (c) Leah Maclean

Why add beauty to your life?

It’s something I’ve pondered ever since I had that conversation with Sharon. Why, when our lives are so full, so busy, would we add something else – especially something that on the surface doesn’t seem to help us get things done, pay the bills, or keep the house clean?

Ahh, but beauty, noticed, makes each of those chores, tasks and concerns lighter, brighter and, somehow, easier.

When you stop, even for a single moment, to recognise and appreciate something for it’s loveliness you bring yourself back into the present moment.

Suddenly you’re not fretting about all those things you need to get done, or worrying about what happened yesterday. You’re right here, right now, noticing something beautiful and taking a deep, calming breath.

Noticing beauty can uplift, restore, nourish, rejuvenate, entice and even motivate us.

When we love our home, and have made it beautiful and special, it is a joy to keep it clean.

When the picture above our desk, or the wallpaper background on our computer makes us smile, work and bill paying seem somehow less stressful.

When life is chaotic, and we’re barely keeping our head above water, taking a moment to appreciate the glory of a sunrise, the wind in our hair, the touch of a child as he cuddles up next to you, the smell of gardenias wafting in through an open window, the sound of your daughter practicing the piano or the taste of the first mango of the season, can bring a smile to our face and a deep, shuddering breath to our lungs.

Like the newly pregnant woman suddenly noticing bellies and prams everywhere she goes (and surely there weren’t so many, yesterday?), when you focus on beauty and what it can bring to your life, you will see it everywhere!

A Challenge For You

I’m challenging you, as I challenged Sharon, to look for beauty. Like Amy, you may drive your family crazy, but you’re sure to find beauty in unexpected places. As Annie challenges us – notice and appreciate the glory of this world. Give thanks for the beauty you notice. Look, feel, taste, hear and smell the glory that surrounds you. Even in the darkest moments and the darkest places, beauty lies in wait to be seen. You don’t need to go out of your way, or change your routine, to start noticing. Just be aware.

Will you be the one to find it?

Will you be the one to feel your heart expanding as each of your senses discovers new wonders?

Put on your special beauty-seeking glasses, grab your camera (or your phone) and start noticing! You’re surrounded by beauty – little and big, incredible and heart-warming. Start noticing and start clicking!

Then, to get into the celebration of beauty in a big way, post a photo or four on your blog or Flickr. And write, in just 150 words or less, what Noticing Beauty means to you.

Send us a trackback, and email the link to your post/photo to thecalmspace @ gmail.com. If you don’t have a blog or Flickr account, don’t think you’re missing out – email your entry directly to me.

We’ll publish or link to as many of the posts/photos as possible during our month-long celebrations (just be sure to send us your link before 26th October)! Are you in?

It’s Our Birthday! The Calm Space is 2!

We’ve got our party hats on and noise makers at the ready, the streamers are flying and we’re planning to celebrate with lots of virtual cake (the non-fattening kind:), bubbles and good times! Will you join us?

Ok, I’ll pop my cake and bubbles aside for a minute and fill you in on the rest.

Firstly, you’ll notice that we’ve welcomed back our guest contributors Janice Hunter (Kitchen Table Space), Vitania M Liscio (Design Space), Dee Le Blang (Sound Space) and Anne Maybus (Living Space)! Please support these wonderful writers as well as our ‘regulars’ – Chris Owen (Relationship Space), Angela Esnouf (Organising Space), Annie Hutton (Spiritual Space) and Amy Palko (Nature Space & her photography at Breathing Space).

These are truly beautiful women, one and all! They have huge hearts, they are so very generous and offer their wisdom to you with no thoughts of return, their beauty really shines through their words and their pictures. So this month, if you hadn’t already guessed, our theme is Beauty.

And we’re so not talking about anti-ageing or how to look good at (name your age)… that’s just NOT us! We’re not into extreme makeovers, or trotting out the tripe about beauty. I found this quote by Jean Kerr from The Snake Has All The Lines: “I‘m tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That’s deep enough. What do you want – an adorable pancreas?“

No. What we’re talking about is that deep sense of confidence and poise that makes us feel beautiful. That warm glow that we get when we know we’re loved for who we are – warts and all, no matter our weight, despite bad hair days and complexion woes. We’re talking about noticing beauty and letting it infuse our life with wonder and joy.

In honour of our own unique version of Beauty, and our birthday, and simply because We Can… we’re throwing a big come-one-come-all party! You’re invited!

As I talk about in Serenity Space this month, and as Amy also shares in Nature Space, noticing the beauty that surrounds us can change our outlook and even change our life.

Party Invitation

Put on your special beauty-seeking glasses, grab your camera (or your phone) and start noticing! You’re surrounded by beauty – little and big, incredible and heart-warming. Start noticing and start clicking!

Then, to get into the celebration of beauty in a big way, post a photo or four on your blog or Flickr. And write, in just 150 words or less, what Noticing Beauty means to you.

Send us a trackback, and email the link to your post/photo to thecalmspace@gmail.com. If you don’t have a blog or Flickr account, don’t think you’re missing out – email your entry directly to me.

We’ll publish or link to as many of the posts/photos as possible during our month-long celebrations (just be sure to send us your link before 26th October)! Are you in?

Enjoy our Beauty issue, and I hope you find our virtual cake scrumdidlyumptious!

I see the beauty in you…

Káren xx

]]> http://thecalmspace.com/2009/10/noticing-beauty-celebrating-a-birthday/feed/ 3