The Canon Cowgirl

How to replace a radiator in 49 steps (and counting)

2010-01-07T22:08:00.001-08:00

Old truck repair is a never ending process. You might think that something such as replacing a radiator would be as simple as removing the broken radiator and replacing it with a new one, but you would be wrong. You would be wrong because its never JUST about repairing the broken part, it's a law of physics (or possibly Murphey). I think the best way to explain it is to take you through the process so here are steps one through 49 of what may be a never ending process:

1) Receive the radiator in the mail. It sure is shiney and pretty.

2) Begin removing hoses and unbolting the old radiator. Easy!

3) Realize that there are only three bolts to remove from the radiator and there should be four. Decide to worry about that later.

4) Don't consider that once you finish unbolting radiator it will not be attached to the truck & watch as radiator falls into engine compartment and gets stuck in the frame.

5) Use herculean strength to unstick and remove the radiator. Shewoman grrrr!

6) Realize that more hands are neccecary and get help mounting the new radiator. So much easier with help!

7) Realize that there are still only three bolts while bolting in new radiator...decide to worry about that later.

8) The last step is to replace the hoses, tighten the hose clamps and pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

Except...

9) Realize that the old hoses do not fit on the new radiator (too streached out)

10) Go to the autoparts store for a new hose.

11) They don't have the correct hose.

12) Have them special order the correct hose.

13) Pick up the hose you orderd only to take it home and realize that it is actually NOT the correct hose.

14) Hack off the end of the old hose and MAKE it work.

15) Step back and proudly observe your new radiator fully attached and ready to go.

16) Start to fill radiator with anti-freeze...

and watch as it empties out of your engine block like there's an enormous hole in it.

17) Panic.

18) Run and find a flashlight

19) Observe that there actually IS an enormous hole in your engine.

20) Run inside screaming that you're missing some integral part of your engine.

21) Continue running in circles as Dad calmly asks if you blew a freeze plug.

21) Google freeze plugs.

22) Your engine has blown a freeze plug (a $2 part)

23) Call auto parts store and tell them you need a new freeze plug

24) Auto Parts store clerk is confused by what you mean my "freeze plug" wants to sell you an engine heater

25) Explain that it is not an engine heater, its a little brass disc that falls out of your engine when it gets freezing cold and then scares the shit out of you when you go to put anti-freeze in your new radiator

26) This somehow generates more confusion and clerk asks if you mean spark plugs.

27) Ask the clerk if he has had a problem with spark plugs leaping out of his engine block recently.

28) Clerk FINALLY figures out what a freeze plug is. They dont have one in stock.

29) Find another auto parts store that not only knows what a freeze plug is, but has one in stock.

30) Go to buy it and get it for free (most likely because you're cute)

31) Go home and do a crappy job at hammering the freeze plug back into your engine block. 32)Blame the bad angle and cramped space for your crappy hammering, but realize that its probably just your shitty hammering skills.

33) Dont trust your crappy freeze plug hammering enough to put anti-freeze in the radiator

34) Wait several days

35) Finally ask for hammering assistance from dad.

36) Dads hammering skills far outweigh yours and after a couple of wacks he announces "DONE!" your truck is ready to drive!

Which is when you notice that you've lost the freeze plug on the OTHER side of the engine.

37) Repeat steps 22-30 then do a better job at hammering it in yourself.

38) Victory is yours! Fill the new radiator with anti-freeze, no leaks to be seen!

39) Hop in the cab to start the engine

40) realize one of two things:

1) Your keys are not on the dash where they should be and 2) somewhere between step 22 and step 39 your truck interior has been covered in mildew.

41) Lose. Your. Shit. Everything in the cab gets thrown out and/or torn out

42) Take out anger for mold on the cheap seat cover and the shitty, torn up origional floor mats. You were going to tear them out eventually anyway right?

43) Be shocked that the seat under the seat cover is green vinyl...what?

44) Use bleach cleaner on EVERYTHING.

45) Go crazy from the fumes and acutally start to think that the truck had planned all this just so you two would spend some quality time together.

46) Imagine truck singing "Precious and few are the moments we two can share"

47) Yell at the truck to stop singing and get caught by the neighbors.

48) Step back, panting, from your cleaning frenzy and realize that as ugly as the truck's interior is right now, it's probably cleaner than it's been in years.

49) Congratulations, the radiator is attached, the engine block is properly plugged, and the interior is habitable! You're ready to drive except for one. minor. detail...

where the hell did I put my keys?

Editors Note: Step 49 ended earlier today and I still haven't found my keys. I've decided that eating valentines day peanut m&ms while rocking back and forth in fetal position is a better use of my time. And besides, I'm not going to let the fact that I can't currently drive my truck take away from my victory...whatever that was...

EDIT: 50) Find keys in a bag filled with almond roca. Of course they're in a bag with almond roca, why wouldn't they be.

51) Climb into your bleach smelling (but not mildew-y!), multi-colored vinyl cab, and turn the key.

52) Discover that the battery is dead. Ooooof course it is....

The Worst

2009-12-09T18:02:00.000-08:00

I was looking through my archives and stumbled on something I'd written back in photography school when I was forced to use 4x5 film cameras and take pictures of buildings. For some reason this never got posted and I think it has to do with me loosing the photos of the 4x5 camera I used. I found a replacement so enjoy ;-)

I was going to start this post by saying "I think I'll stick to equine photography beccause, hey, whats the worst that could happen?" but I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that because God seems to have an irritatingly ironic sense of humor, so the moment I say "whats the worst that could happen?" I'll find out.

I bring all this up because I had an architecture shoot this weekend. I am not usually an architecture photographer, but, thanks to a required class at the Art Institute of Seattle, I am this quarter. Along with the class you're required to use a school owned view camera. If your not familiar with view cameras, they are an old, but still valuable design, a film camera that takes 4"x5" film. Heres what one looks like:

This one is actually almost identical to the one I used except this is camera #1 (not really) and I used camera #7. You can tell the difference between cameras 1 and 7 because camera 1 has a "1" painted on the side and camera 7 has its ground glass completely shattered. You see where I'm going with this?

I had all of Saturday reserved to make the hour and a half trip to Seattle to get the camera and then go on to Bellevue to photograph some of the beautiful new skyscrapers that have gone up. As I was walking out the door I had a nagging thought "Maybe I should bring the 20D, just in case" I scoffed at my own fears (or was it common sense?) thinking "Nah, besides-" say the fateful words with me "whats the worst that could happen?"

It was past 3 by the time I had my tripod set up in front of a building and was almost ready to shoot. The first two buildings I had wanted to photograph were a bust because of construction. The sky had been high overcast all day, which is great for portraits but awful for architecture because it results in an empty white sky. I was praying for a break in the clouds for a little blue sky and good light.

Shooting architecture requires a different lens and bellows than the camera is stored with and in order to swap them out you have to carefully take the camera apart. As I was attempting to do this the worst that could happen...happened.

The back of the camera includes the ground glass, the viewfinder for the camera. Ground glass is absolutely essential for composition, focusing and straitening the image. While I focused on dismantling the bellows the back came loose, tumbling from the camera and landing squarely on the rail- shattering the ground glass into a dozen pieces.

I imagine that someday when I am a ridiculously wealthy world famous photographer and someone is inspired to write a book about me the passage will go something like this:

"She stared forlornly at the glass, shattered like her dreams of photographing the beautiful buildings that day. As she looked up she saw the skies clear over the subject building, creating a perfect shot of cloud studded blue sky and soft glowing light. A shot that no camera, not 4x5 or 20D, would catch. In that moment she realized something deep within her. It was a burning desire...to never touch another view camera again."

My writer is a tad melodramatic apparently, but surprisingly accurate.

The real fun comes Monday when I get to return the camera and explain to Jeff, who is in charge of renting them, why the camera is broken. I suppose I shouldn't be nervous, Jeff is a reasonable guy and besides....whats the worst that could happen?

;)

A great cat name, or the best cat name of all time?

2009-10-29T20:46:00.000-07:00

We don't sell animals at The Pet Food Store which is cool because my view of puppy stores is about the same as puppy mills, which is about the same as cancerous sores. What we do do is adopt out kittens and cats through a local rescue which is way more awesome because the kitties come fixed & with all their shots. And also because we can decide not to give you a cat if you say "supposedly" "supposably". Just kidding, we would never turn someone down for saying "supposably", but drop an "irregardless" and you are right out.

All of our kitties also come with names that are usually picked by the rescue. The rescue sucks at naming cats. The kitty we currently have is named (100% serious about this)... Catcat. I want someone cool to adopt Catcat just so that she can get the dignity of a decent name.

Not long ago I said something along those lines to a cat loving customer. "Well," he said "Its better than Clamidia." which is a difficult point to argue since MOST things are better than a venereal disease but begs the question ...WHAATT??!?!

Apparently he had been at a shelter and came upon a cat that the rescue had named (you guessed it) Clamidia. And they could NOT figure out what he found so funny. We, on the other hand, thought it was hilarious and fantastically awkward. Imagine the awesomeness/terrible misunderstandings a name like that would lead to:

I went to the cat rescue and got Clamidia.

My wife was lonely so I got Clamidia for her.

I paid $100 to get Clamidia.

Now that we have Clamidia our house feels like a home.

Awesome.

My best guess was that someone thought they were naming her after a flower and were terribly, terribly wrong. Either that or they totally got it and were in the back making jokes like we were:

That last couple looked like they were interested in getting Clamidia.

We could give Clamidia to that old woman!

We finally got rid of our Clamidia.

I would totally adopt that cat and keep her name. I'd call her Clap for short.

As for having the best cat name of all time, Clamidia only has one contender that I've heard of, and its tough competition: Joie's former cat, Poonani.

I could go there, I really could, but I wont.

You're welcome.

Oh Shiitake!

2009-10-23T15:03:00.001-07:00

I'm growing magical mushrooms in my front yard. Not on purpose of course, unless you count grossly neglecting basic lawn care until mushrooms start growing as "on purpose". I know this because yesterday when I came home from running errands in town I found my 60 year old neighbor from across the cul- da-sac yelling at a stoner kid....in my front yard. Their argument went as follows:

SharonP: THEY'RE PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS!!
Stoner Kid (in the most stoner kid voice you can imagine): they're not psychedelic, man, they're totally not!
SharonP: PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS!!1!!ONE!
StonerKid: they're for my biology class-
SharonP: I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!!

And with that StonerKid got on his bike took his "not psychedelic" mushrooms and got the heck out of there, flipping Sharon and I the bird as he sped away. I was still standing in my driveway blinking in confusion as to what had just happened.

Later Sharon came over to point out my magical mushrooms to me. I ohhed and ahhed and acted very shocked, but the truth is I had actually suspected that they were magical mushrooms when I first saw them the day before. Not because I know what magical mushrooms look like (I can quite honestly say I'm totally clueless with anything drug related and plan to remain so), but because I had heard the entire neighborhood has issues with magical mushrooms growing in the lawns and the tresspassing dirty hippies that go along with them.

Truthfully, I find that pretty awesome, not because I'm pro dirty hippy or magical mushroom, but because this is probably the nicest neighborhood in Monroe. People think they're very fancy living in their fancy boxes made of ticky tacky...and the lawns are infested with magical mushrooms and dirty hippies.

Is it wrong that I kinda want them back? I mean, it's not like I'm going to EAT them, it's just on principle! You don't see me showing up in front of StonerKids ~~house~~ yurt and taking things out of HIS ~~yard~~ whatever it is that hippies have instead of yards, do you?

So I guess my task for tomorrow is to rid my lawn of mushrooms, which should be pretty easy, all I really need to do is mow the lawn, plus a little fungiside I think. The drum circle and sit in are going to be a little tougher to eliminate though, anyone have ideas on that?

PS: Side note this is what I found when I googled "hippie yard" to try to figure out what it is that hippies have instead of yards http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Nocturnal_Hippie_Artist

Awesome. "The Chair Incident" is my favorite part, although I can't say I remember that happening to me.

Tide me over?

2009-06-05T19:16:00.000-07:00

Where does the time go?? I've been back for almost two weeks and I haven't posted about my adventure (although I have a couple detailed posts in the works!). Excitement includes plenty of rodeo action, Sammy getting the camel flu and possibly making out with random bucklebunnies, and even more rodeo action including bulls chasing me...or thinking about it anyway.

This weekend I'm heading down to Roy for their rodeo. This is one of the few Pro-West rodeos I'm able to shoot (another one being Roy's September event). If I wave my card around properly I should have my boots in arena dirt too. For some reason I'm having PBR flashbacks (wherein I was given the run around for hours and then nearly arrested, thats a post for another time), which doesn't help my confidence. It also doesn't help that I made a damn fool of my self earlier this year when I called the president of the rodeo committee to ask if I could come shoot. Can't think about it. I just have to show up, kick ass and go from there. Wish me luck!

It all starts with Helix

2009-05-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

"It all starts with Helix"

I've had that phrase going through my head the last few days and darned if I know why. Or even what it means. While I'm aware that not everything that I think in my head is true, I feel like there's something to it.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm expecting, what grand "it" it is that I think will begin in a tiny bit of a town. Although if nothing else Helix (and Dayton of course) are the beginning of my rodeo season, a chance to finally catch up with the events that have been going on since March. Its a whole world that I've been cut off from since September when Ellensburg finished and I've been suffering withdrawals. Its been calling me for months now and I can't resist it anymore.

I need this trip for my sanity (yes what little I have). Because photographing wildly flailing horses is what I do, I HAVE to do it. Whatever "it" is, if its anything, I'll find out soon. I head out tomorrow afternoon.

PS: something else that just crossed my mind: I originally created this blog to be a sort of behind the scenes of my photography, to talk about things that just wouldn't fit on a business type blog. This blog is for the journey and my business blog is for the outcome. While my posts will probably still be random/insane trains of though (it IS still me writing) expect to see more of that type of post coming up...and it really will start with Helix.

PPS: Like the new look? Its kind of an all dressed up and nowhere to go feeling seeing I have...no readers lol. Ah well. At least I look good.

Blues

2009-05-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

I talk to my truck. I know you're thinking "as long as it doesn't talk back to you"...but it does... and he sounds remarkably like Sam Elliott. (If you didn't already think I was crazy this may be a good time to start, but I do realize I'm making all this up so maybe that counts for something.)

"Blue!!" I'll mentally yell at him as I search the parking lot for his superman blue behemoth "Where the hell are you you hunk of junk?"

"Right where you left me!" he'll snap in a rumbly drawl "and I'd be watching who you're callin' a hunk of junk unless you're fixin' to walk home. Do you realize that after you left a Prius parked next to me? I've spent the last four hours hearing how I'm killing the earth for crying out loud."

Blue doesn't like people to talk about his drinking problem.

He also has an ~~obnoxious~~ great sense of humor. Take this April 1st: it was raining steadily and I was late for work. I jumped in started Blue up, went to switch on the wipers...and nothing happened.

"April Fools!" says Blue with a throaty chuckle.

"Blue this isn't funny, I need the wipers!"

"What? You say the blinkers? They're working just fine! Hehheh"

Luckily work wasn't far. As I pulled into a parking spot nerve wracked and drenched from hanging my head out the window... the wipers started working.

"Blue you are such an asshole."

"You know I played the same prank on your dad and he didn't laugh either. You people have no sense of humor."

Apparently in the 1960s seat belts were optional, but smart ass came stock.

This weekend Blue sat at home, my punishment to him after leaving me stranded on Friday. "Its national ride your bike to work day Liz. It's good for you." What Blue failed to realize is that I had forgotten my bike along the side of the road the last time he ran out of gas. Jokes on him!

.....er...wait....

Cutting Cattle and Shooting Horses

2009-02-17T22:19:00.000-08:00

My family has no idea what I'm talking about most of the time. Between being a horse person and a photographer my everyday conversations may as well be another language. Take for example just this weekend.

I had a photo session with a lovely woman who's husband trains cutting horses. She told me I should forget about the rodeo boys and check out cutters cause they know how to ride in style. I'm a big fan of riding and style so I was very interested in the idea. This conversation soon followed:

Me: I'm going to get hooked up with a cutter!

Cousin (thinking I'm now into emo kids with low self esteem and access to razor blades): Why would you want any part of that kind of violence?

Me: WTF is wrong with cutting cattle?

Cousin: They cut COWS too?? What kind of sick freaks do you hang out with?

and at this point I'm like: You can take your Animal Rights bullshit and shove it up your ass!!

We're still not talking to each other and neither of us is positive why.

Then there's the issue of photo babel. I'll go off on technical spiel and not even realize it until I look up and see the glazed expression on my family members face. The worst was recently when they overheard a conversation I was having with another photographer:

Other Photographer: So what do you like to shoot?

Me: Horses mostly. I'll shoot cats and dogs just for fun, but mostly I'm shooting horses. You?

Other Photographer: I'm all about shooting kids.

Family: <::::FEAR::::>

So when I say "my family has no idea what I'm talking about" I really mean "my family thinks I'm violently insane". And to add insult to missunderstanding they've taken away all sharp objects or anthing they think I could use as a weapon. I have to cut things with those damn plastic donkey scizzors. Thats the last time I talk to them about my interests.

PS Is "emo kids with low self esteem" redundant?

PPS Just to show them, I'm whittling the donkey scizzors into a shank.

Tips for A Properly Accessorized Goat

2009-01-26T19:38:00.000-08:00

While trying to find an old blog entry I wrote called "How Not to Get Arrested At A PBR Event" (yes based on actual experience) I ran into a blog I had started many moons ago when I was first venturing into rodeo photography ('05 ish?). Rodeo was a vast new territory and there was a lot I didn't know. Although my knowledge has grown, my insanity level has stayed about the same which led to articles such as this. So! For your reading pleasure:

Tips for A Properly Accessorized Goat
So I (hopefully) will be headed out to shoot the NJRA event in Port Angeles when it comes. For those of you who don’t know the NJRA is the Northwest Jr Rodeo Association. I’ll be there just for practice trying to stay out of the way of the official photographer while at the same time taking note on how he’s shooting the event. This will be a great learning opportunity for me and in fact they’ve already taught me plenty.
Embarrassingly enough I looked at their line up and realized I didn’t know half of the events that they were talking about. Chute dogging, steer daubing, goat tail tying? I knew for sure these weren’t included in the Kitsap Stampede, and was pretty sure OLN wasn’t having primetime specials on goat tail tying. It’s a small hole that I live in so research was necessary.
Here’s what I found out:
Chute dogging and steer daubing have their roots in bulldogging (steer wrestling). For chute dogging the idea is to wrestle the steer just as with bulldogging, except you start in a chute like one would use for the rough stock events, instead of on horseback. For steer daubing you are on horseback and start in the same manor as steer wrestling, only instead of leaping off your horse to the steer, you mark it with a special stick (usually a stick with a chalk covered tennis ball, it looks like)
Goat tail tying is the far back starting point to calf roping, just as mutton busting is the starting point for bull riding (mutton busting is kids riding on sheep if you didn’t know). Its for the littlest of the little ones who may eventually go on to goat tying and on from there. For this event the goat is tied to a stake, they run up, grab it and tie a bow on its tail. It has got to be the worlds most adorable rodeo event (which isn’t all that hard of a title to come by come to think of it, I don’t hear anyone referring to bull riding as “adorable”)
All of these are awesome starting points to the big time, although I have to say (mostly in jest) that they kind of lack some of their originating events … well, point. Calf roping originated from the need to catch calves and immobilize them for branding, medical care ect. In fact, most rodeo events started with some sort of ranch chore nesessity. All except, I think, for bull riding which came from guys needs to do things that are stupid. (flashback to the old west) “Hey Eddie, betcha couldn’t get on that bull and live to tell about it.”…… “I’ll bet I could!!”
Lets share a moment of silence for Eddie the first bull rider.
Alright that’s enough of that
So as I was saying, these starter events don’t seem to have any practical ranch life uses…but lets pretend they did.
Chute Dogging: On a cattle drive, a cocky steer tries to steal your sandwich. You wrestle him a few feet out and drop his ass in front of all his cow friends. Its like prison, if you take down the big ones every now and then, it keeps the rest in line - less hassling, more sandwich.
Goat Tail Tying: Your goat is leaving for a date when you realize it doesn’t have the proper accessories to match its outfit! You make a mad dash, ribbon in hand, and make the tie. That dumb goat would never get any if it weren’t for you.
Steer Daubing: Honestly I’ve got nothing for this one. Although it kind of reminds me of the kid I saw poking a dead opossum with a stick yesterday, only at high speeds.
All in all, despite being a great way to advance into the big-time events, I think I’m glad that the jr rodeo events haven’t made their way into the PRCA, tying ribbons on goats just isn’t as cute when a full grown man is doing it…especially when he’s wearing the pigtails….never mind.
Anyway, it looks like I’m going to have my work cut out for me. I’ve only been at this whole rodeo photographer thing a couple weeks and suddenly there’s a dozen more events than I originally thought. Poor ignorant me. It’s a great big rodeo world out there….this is gonna be fun ;)
Liz
Oh and PS: for a real kick Google “goat dressing”. It involves two guys, a goat and a pair of panties… the “practical ranch life” use of that one I’m leaving well enough alone.

Horses and Their Supernatural Powers

2009-01-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

I believe my landlords horses are capable of teleportation.

Its true!

Not too long ago I was cleaning stalls when I thought I saw something move in the dark. Looking hard, I didn't see anything so I continued to muck. As I was leaving the barn I saw "something" move again and realized that it was Sadie, the 16 hand 1500 lb black Percheron, grazing on my front lawn. Needless to say I was slightly surprised and spent the next few minutes trying to herd her back into the barn.

To this day though I'm confused as to how she got OUT of the barn, since the ONLY way out would have been for her to silently and stealthily sneak past the stall I was cleaning without me seeing her. Now in my experiance 16hh 1500lb Percherons are not really known for their skills in stealth movement so the only other option is....

TELEPORTATION!! Its only logical

Then today they did it again! I was filling water buckets and so was peering in the stall to see how full they were. I observed Rusty, a chestnut morgan, munching on his hay. I took two steps to turn off the water faucet and pick up his scoop of grain. I entered Rusty's stall and not really looking at the horse said "Rusty you've made a total mess of your-" I was going to say grain bucket, but at that point I had looked up and realized that the horse I was staring at wasn't Rusty, but Khaiber (a bay arab)! We just stared at each other for a moment or two, Khaiber blinking with doe like innocence. I walked back out of the stall to see Rusty, in Khaibers stall! WTF?

The paddock gates were open, but still, they would have had to left the stalls, gone out of their fairly large paddocks and back through the others, and back into each others stalls in a matter of a few seconds. So they either completed the fastest equine Chinese fire drill in history, I'm out of my mind and cant tell the difference between a chestnut morgan and a dark bay arabian, OR....(you guessed it)

TELEPORTATION!!

Alternate theory...they're unicorns in disguise. I'm gonna think on that one.

New Year, New Starts

2009-01-01T17:28:00.000-08:00

So I'm starting the new year with a new blog and some resolutions! I'm going to post an official introductory post for everyones info pretty soon here, but I wanted to get these down while they were fresh in my mind.

So for the year 2009 I, Liz, plan to:

-Update My Look
Working at Whistle Workwear took a toll on my style. While dressing in head to toe Carhartt is ok (and can be cute) if you're out working in the barn, sweatshirts and romeos as daily wear is not sexy. Countrydiva and her awesome blog have totally inspired me to turn up the cowgirl haute-ness! Some new clothes are in order, post haste. And I've GOT to do something about my hair!

-Be a Better Dog Mom
Sammy has been eating top notch since I started working at The Natural Pet Food Store, but good food isnt enough. With the weather sucking and Chico, Sammy's APBT playmate, laid up with an injury, Sammy needs exercize more than ever, something that I'm far too often too lazy to give her (she lets me know by tearing up the house). I also want to make it our goal to start, and hopefully complete, training classes with the Dogworks here in town which end with the opportunity to take the AKC Canine Good Citizen test. Thats our big training goal, since the CGC represents a lot of Sammy's weaknesses right now.

- Don't Be Afraid to be a Successful Photographer!
That's right, I said it. Letting my business stay small is...easy, its comfortable, charging into the great unknown is scary! I've got to suck it up and get out there! That includes advertising, cold calling shows that might need coverage and getting out and USING that Pro-West card of mine! I've got some time before shooting season begins, but the time to act is now!

-Keep Blogging!
I, in the past, have sucked at keeping blogs up to date. I'm not a hardcore blogger like some. So another goal of mine is to keep this blog, and my business blog, up to date!! I'm hoping that a couple of my twitter followers will stop in to read every now and then and nag me if I dont post (maybe wishful thinking).