I’ve got all sort of exciting things to post here before too long, but I thought I’d get back into the way of things by borrowing an idea from a talk I attended by the Illustrationist David Shrigley, that of posting shopping lists found lying around in and around the supermarket.

I thought it might be interesting to discuss and analyse this first list, found at about 7.30pm today in the car park of Tesco, Langdon Hills, Essex.

I am particularly interested to know what SK is, and what the lacquer was for, and whether ‘tenna’ was a cashback reminder.

If this goes well I will encourage the further posting of found shopping lists.

1. Things that you can do at Youthwork the Conference

2. How to go to Youthwork the Conference

If you know anyone who does youthwork then you could tell them about this conference. It is in Eastbourne which is quite idyllic in its own way.

Possible ways to get rid of a squirrel in the roof:

1. Scare it away with flashing bicycle lights and the Divine Comedy pumped in at medium volume (no particular reason for it being the Divine Comedy except that I’ve never heard of a squirrel liking the Divine Comedy). Problem: The neighbours might be disturbed.

2) Find the hole where it is getting in, and block it. Issues: (a) I have been watching for a while and I have not seen any holes (2) The hole could belong to a neighbour’s house. We are not detached and I believe our soffets and lofts are linked by a hidden maze of squirrel tunnels.

3) Send up the cats. Difficulty: Our cats would be more trouble in the roof than our squirrel.

4) Borrow a squirrel cage, trap the squirrel and release it inside the M25 (we are outside the M25).

5) Call someone who knows about these sorts of things.

6) Write about it on my internet web blog and hope that my readers include a fully licenced diocesan squirrel catcher.

Questions for Lent groups:
i) Tell the group about a time you had a squirrel in your roof.
ii) List some of the spiritual ’squirrels’ you have faced and how you overcame them.

A post outlining my hopes for this blog, going forward.

I have encountered some difficulties recently, so it has been quite quiet here. I’m sorry about that. I hope to do rather more posting here though as I do rather enjoy writing this blog. I also plan to put up a whole load of new downloadable cartoon material on the site for subscribers as there hasn’t been any for a while. I might also scan some diagrams from the ‘to scan’ pile.

Thanks for your patience anyway. Feel free to repost this cartoon elsewhere.

If anyone needs urgent cartoon assistance please contact me via info -at- cartoonchurch.com.

It seemed hazardous to keep dribbling water, what with the electrics and kettle water being boiling, so we got a new kettle that did not dribble water.

Now the new kettle dribbles water too.

Do all kettles dribble water? I have set up a poll on the left to see whether it is only our kettles, or whether everyones’ kettles dribble water.

Yes, I have descaled.

If anyone has any inside insights into the following topics then any contributions would be welcomed:

1. Unusual or interesting arrangements for covering services over the summer holidays
2. Things that happen in the vestry in the final moments before the service starts
3. The Anglican selection process. In the past someone has given me information about this, but I can’t remember where or when. It would be useful to know the different steps one has to go through in order to be ordained. Any online resources that explain it clearly welcomed.

[Note: Am away during the day today - will moderate comments in the evening]

You can always tell a rubbish photographer by the fact that the shadow of their head appears in the lower half of the photograph.

This inspirational picture shows an innovative moneymaking initiative by Torbay Council, who have realised that you can hire out uncanvased deckchairs for 90p per half day. Many tourists are content to bring their own canvas, saving themselves some money and meaning that everyone gets to have a deckchair fabric pattern they are comfortable with.

Tourists who do not bore easily are allowed to sit in the same deckchair for up to a week. The charge for this is £4.90. Wisely the council have kept this weekly charge below the ever-important £5 barrier. No-one in their right mind pays over £5 to sit in the same old deckchair for seven consecutive days.

A drain is provided next to each deckchair for safe disposal of teapot dregs. The hexagonal paving is of no particular relevance.

Readers tuning in hoping for a picture of me bathing in Brixham Harbour will, I’m afraid, be sadly disappointed.

I think all right minded people would agree that bathing in Brixham Harbour should be severely frowned upon. But it is the illegality of the ‘attempted bathing’ that presents one of the great moral issues of our time. One imagines that such bathing attempts might fail for various reasons – ill fitting bathing costume, inability to find a suitable locker for valuables, the presence of green slime that only became apparent upon scaling the harbour wall, etc.

My travelling companion was vehement that such attempts should be outlawed in the same way that waving a gun around in a bank is not really the done thing. But I am of the school of thought that says that failed bathing attempts should be allowed for the amusement of the general public, as long as they do not pass that thin line between ‘attempted bathing’ and ‘bathing’.

What do you think? I have added a poll (left) in order to test the mind of the international community on this matter.

I have returned from 11 days of being away from the computer and internet and other modern trappings. As has become my custom I will share one or two holiday photographs of interest on this blog whilst my morale is still good.

This is an early photograph of the Lloyds TSB bank in Brockenhurst in the New Forest. You can tell that it is from the olden days by the sepia effect. Actually I inadvertently activated the sepia function owing to technological incompetence, but the effect is pleasing.

The picture shows some of the New Forest ponies. They are allowed to roam free in large parts of the forest including the villages and such financial institutions as exist. They form a queue outside the bank at around 20 past 6 in the hope that when they awake a cashier will finally be available.

In 1996/7 I did a placement at the church in Brockenhurst whilst a student at the Moorlands College. I was, if I remember correctly, a particularly ineffective placement student and added very little of significance to the work of the church. Fortunately I don’t think I hindered it that much either. That said, I look back on my time there, both at Moorlands and in Brockenhurst with some fondness.