The Caye Caulker Chronicles

2025-01-22T14:16:00.000-08:00

Trump won the election, maybe the insanity will stop.

2025-01-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

I really don't know what the problem is.

2012-02-27T21:59:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since my last post, I got really busy in December and January - smoking hams, ribs, pork shoulders, and turkeys.... even had a pork leg quarter!

I’m sorry to report that one of our great friends has passed away, Carl, of cancer. He had been best friends to Julie for many years, and was the first person I met in Guatemala. He’ll be sorely missed by his wife and family as well as the many friends he had accumulated. I know I will.

Maria-Elena, his widow, will be having a convivial in his memory for about 70 of his friends in March. I’ll supply the food.

In February we went down to Caye Caulker to renew my visa, and couldn’t believe the changes that had taken place since August. Julie and I were amazed at the amount of construction going on. New construction, remodeling, and several places had moved into new quarters since we were here last.

Julie’s sister, who owns Island Magic Resort, wants me to prepare a tasting menu sometime in March. She’s thinking about starting a restaurant for her guests, but doesn’t know quite how to go about it, so Julie and I will offer her some suggestions. It is a good idea that will enhance the hotel tremendously.

2011-12-03T07:34:00.000-08:00

Don’t GET ME WRONG, I love the restaurant business. Never having a Friday or Saturday night off, always working when the rest of the world is just getting off work, being busiest during the holidays has never bothered me for some reason. I just loved to cook for other people. I want readers to get a feel for the joys of making really good food at the professional level.

To understand what it feels like to attain the dream of running your own kitchen — what it feels like amidst the clatter and chaos of a restaurant kitchen. I want to convey, as best I can, the strange delights of the language, sense of camaraderie and sense of humor found on the line. I'd like anyone who reads this to get a sense at least, that in spite of everything else, it can be fun.

I want you to see someone who loves food, not just the life of the cook. Someone to show you how to cook for yourselves, for the pure pleasure of eating, not just for the hordes of tourists who flock to Belize every winter.

2011-11-29T03:20:00.000-08:00

Here’s recipes for my Thanksgiving Dinner, some of them anyway. Keep in mind that here in Guatemala, packaged and pre-mixed ingredients are extremely difficult to find. They’re either made to suit local tastes or are in short supply and sold out very quickly.

Pie shells and puff pastry sheets are two of the things that are never available, so they have to be made from scratch. Last year they had pumpkin puree at all the supermarkets, until the end of October – then you couldn’t find it anywhere. This year Julie brought some back from Washington, where she was working on an article for the Washington Post.

Wouldn’t you know it, there was an overabundance of it this year!

After the turkeys are thawed out, it’s time to start cooking. I begin by preparing the turkey. They are washed and patted dry, I reserve the giblets and necks for later. Once I’ve run my hands under the skin to loosen it up they are placed in a fifty gallon pot, neck down and covered with the brine. They’ll brine for 24 to 30 hours because I’m going to smoke them and it keeps them from drying out.

Once the turkeys are brined and stored in the refrigerator, I begin baking the cornbread for the dressing, roasting the garlic, and making the gingersnaps for the mini-cheese cakes (they don’t sell gingersnap cookies here). I’ll make the dough for the pie crusts later this afternoon and let the dough get cold before baking.

Mini-Pumpkin Cake

Prepared Gingersnap cookie roll – about 3 to 4 inches diameter.

8 oz Cream Cheese

½ cup Dark Brown Sugar

¼ cup Light Brown Sugar

1 cup canned Pumpkin Puree, NOT pie mix

2 Tbsp Sour Cream

¼ tsp Salt

2 Eggs

1 tsp Vanilla Extract

¾ tsp ground Cinnamon

¼ tsp freshly grated Nutmeg

1. Preheat oven to 350°F.

2. Beat cream cheese and sugars with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Combine with pumpkin, sour cream, and salt – scraping bowl frequently until well mixed. Add the remaining ingredients and continue beating until well mixed.

3. Pour into a prepared 12 cup muffin pan and bake for 20-25 minutes or until set. Let cool for at least 30 minutes before refrigerating overnight.

4. To serve: Puddle chocolate or caramel sauce in bottom of dessert plates. Then place a ¼” slice of the gingersnap roll covered by pumpkin pie. Top with fresh whipped cream and pecans.

Turkey Brine

1 gallon water

3 cups Apple Cider

3 cups Kosher Salt

3 cups Sugar

Mix until salt and sugar is dissolved and pour over turkeys. Then add enough water to completely cover the turkeys.

Turkey Marinade

2 whole head of roasted Garlic

2 whole head of raw garlic

4 cups Vegetable oil

2 cup fresh Orange Juice

1/2 cup Cider Vinegar

1/2 cup Sea Salt

6 Tbsp Lime Juice

6 Tbsp dried oregano

6 Chipotles in Adobo Sauce

4 Tbsp Annatto Paste

2 Tbsp ground Cumin

2 tsp ground Allspice

Zest of 2 Oranges

1. In a blender combine all ingredients until smooth. Do it in batches if blender won’t hold the whole recipe.

2. Slather over entire turkey and under the skin. Let marinade for at least 24 hours.

Smoked Turkey

4 Oranges, quartered

6 Tangerines, quartered

4 Lemons, halved

1. Allow turkeys to come to room temperature before putting in smoker. Divide the citrus equally between the two birds and stuff the cavities.

2. Start the smoker and let it reach 240°F before adding the wood. Once its smoking real good, it’s ready to go. Place the turkeys in the smoke chamber and let them smoke for 3 or 4 hours before covering with foil.

3. Continue smoking until the internal temperature reaches 145°F, then it can be moved from the smoker to the oven and finished cooking at 325°F.

2011-11-25T03:57:00.000-08:00

Whew, it’s over at last, the final guests left at ten-thirty. All I wanted to do was to crawl into my bed and sleep for hours… maybe eight or ten hours at least. Instead it’s a quarter to two and I’m wide awake.

Mutt and I made it slowly and painfully downstairs, where I enjoy a cup of coffee and wait for the bones to settle. I only wrapped the knees and ankles loosely because they’re still swollen from yesterday, I can’t really get them tight because it’ll cut off the circulation to the joints. As usual this time of year I think back and am thankful for all the good things that have happened to me. The doc’s were wrong about the wheelchair, for which I’ll be eternally grateful. I would rather be dead than live like that. My family is as always very much a part of my life, even though I rarely see them. But Julie and Mutt are really the ones that are my life. Sure I love her family like my own, but if I didn’t have Julie and Mutt I’m not sure I would survive.

Thanksgiving was a success by anyone’s measure. I overhead one of our guests saying to someone that “this was better than at John-François” – he owns a French restaurant in Antigua, and is very good. Paul eats out a lot, except for the occasional pizza and eating at one of the cookouts at our house, Tartines is his choice of dinning. Just being mentioned with the likes of John-François is a tremdous compliment.

Everyone had a good time, and enjoyed themselves quite a bit. For Jannicke, Catirania and the Guatemalans in attendance it was a new experience. For the ex-pats and Dale it was a reminder of home. Other than when Chris helped out, Julie and I prepared everything ourselves – from the bread and condiments to the pies, cakes and turkey.

It was worth getting up at 3 am and firing up the smoker.

2011-11-17T18:30:00.000-08:00

God it’s depressing, all the stores are decked out in their Christmas finery, the shelves are stocked with Christmas goods and have been since last month. I can’t get used to not having Halloween and Thanksgiving. Here they wait until summer’s over and roll right into the Christmas season.

I’ve gotten thirty pounds of flour, extra baking powder, some baking soda and yeast to handle my Thanksgiving and Christmas baking needs. I’ve also made up a cooking schedule that is very helpful when cooking for large groups.

Three Weeks Ahead

· Plan the menu and a guest list, once it’s firm send out invitations.

· Order your turkey, roast, duck, ham, etc.

· Create a timeline for make-aheads, freezing, thawing, reheating, and cooking.

· Making fresh cranberry sauce? Better purchase and freeze berries before the stores run out.

· Clean out your freezer.

Two Weeks To Go

· Confirm your guest list and send a copy of the menu

· Finalize your shopping list. Break it down into what can be purchased ahead, such as canned goods, and what perishables should be picked up closer to the day. Make your first shopping run.

· Do a test run on any new recipes.

One Week To Go

· Clean out the fridge.

· If you're roasting a frozen turkey, pick it up and start thawing. Note that thawing in the fridge will take one day for every 5 pounds of meat. A 15-pound turkey will require three days to thaw thoroughly.

· Review the menu; are you on target with make-ahead dishes?

· You might have time to whip up some appetizers to store in the freezer.

· Remind everyone on the guest list.

Three Days Before

· Make foods you can freeze: rolls, pie crusts, cornbread for stuffing, and casseroles.

· Pick up that fresh turkey you ordered. Put it in the brine as soon as possible.

· Purchase fresh produce and prep it now. You want as much done ahead of time as possible.

Two Days Before

· Set the table or decorate the buffet. Get extra tables & chairs.

· Set up the bar away from where you’ll be cooking.

· Lay out serving pieces and utensils.

· Wash and dry the turkey. Remove giblets and neck from turkey cavity. Prepare the marinade and apply it to the turkey. Inject the legs, thighs and breasts – make sure to get marinade under the skin.

· Put back in refrigerator.

· Start the soup and bake your pies.

One Day Before

· Wash and prep produce.

· Make turkey stock for gravy. (Don't use the liver in the stock. If you want it for the gravy, cook it separately, mince it, and add to gravy at the last minute.)

· Assemble stuffing, put it in a separate pan, moisten with your homemade turkey stock, refrigerate, and bake it on Thanksgiving Day.

· Bake pies and make cranberry sauce if you haven’t already done so.

· Arrange frozen dinner rolls on a sheet pan and thaw overnight in the fridge. (Otherwise, thaw at room temperature on Thanksgiving morning.)

· Make sure your camera is charged and ready.

Thanksgiving Day

This is when all your advance work pays off and you look like a genius. Yes, there might be dishes to be prepared on the day, but you won't be in a panic. Do remember to map out oven and stove time for items brought by guests. Here's what you might have to plan for:

· Smoke the turkey

· Mash potatoes.

· Make gravy (if you haven't made it ahead).

· Make the dressing

· Toss salad.

· Warm or bake bread and rolls.

· Reheat frozen dishes.

· Arrange appetizer platters.

· Whip cream for desserts.

· Chill or open wine.

· Heat cider, make coffee.

Congratulations! Now give yourself a solid hour or more to relax and get yourself ready to greet your guests. And just in case things go sideways, don’t sweat it because there’s always next year!

2011-11-17T02:30:00.000-08:00

Todays the day when we start getting the stuff for our Thanksgiving meal. I can’t wait - I’m as excited as a ten year old on Christmas eve. I can’t help it.

Julie won’t be up for hours yet, we just went to bed around eleven o’clock and she’s sound asleep. Hell, the partyers and tourists aren’t even through with their late night revelries yet. But here I am wide awake and raring to go.

I’ve gone over the menu a thousand times in my head, I’ll go over it a hundred times more between now and thanksgiving… gotta make sure it sticks. There’s also the matter of buying groceries to last until our next trip to Guatemala City, about once a month, to get things that aren’t available here in Antigua.

2011-11-12T01:22:00.000-08:00

Julie has sent the emails out to everyone along with a copy of the menu, I’ve got the recipes printed out in the order that they’ll have to go on the heat. Normally I wouldn’t have to do this, but my brain doesn’t function quite the same anymore. Without a written copy to refer to, I’ll manage to screw it up. Like making lasagna and forgetting to boil the noodles first or roasting a goose for three hours only to discover I forgot to turn the oven on – so I don’t trust my memory for anything now.

Julie is becoming a pretty good cook. From someone who literally couldn’t boil water to make her own tea, she’s become a pretty competent helper in the kitchen with a well refined pallet that amazes me. Which is good as mine is shot… the accident again. I have her taste everything as it cooks and I’ll make adjustments to it and it turns out fine.

When we started cooking about three years ago, for social events or have guests over for a cookout, I would lose my temper quite often. I’d become so focused on what I was doing that I would forget she wasn’t a cook, and blowup at her. She was helping me out and didn’t have a clue what would come next, while I assumed that she did. Things got pretty tense for a while, but I started calming down and had her help with the prep work so she could see how everything came together. When you’ve got four dishes ready for the next step and two more requiring you’re attention in fifteen minutes isn’t the best time to learn. With my speech being so fucked up, by the time I could figure out the words and get them out in order – I could do it myself. But when you have only one arm it isn’t that simple. So everything got delayed, instead of having six dishes done perfectly, I had six that were only good and by the time the last one came off the heat the first was cold.

That was awhile ago, and now we work as a team, Julie has picked up both her skills and speed, and has prepared entire meals on her own, with me helping out when needed.

This will the first big test, where we will do everything from baking the bread to smoking the turkey and everything in between.

2011-11-10T10:30:00.000-08:00

Here's the menu

Thanksgiving Menu

Appetizers

DEVILED EGGS STUFFED MUSHROOMS

PESTO, BACON & CHOPPED TOMATOES

CHICKEN MEAT AND BARBECUE SAUCE

Side Dishes

ACORN SQUASH SOUP

GARLIC MASHED POTATOES CORN PUDDING

GREEN BEANS W/ BACON & PECANS

SHREDDED PARMESAN BRUSSELS SPROUTS

CAULIFLOWER GRATIN WITH MANCHEGO AND ALMOND SAUCE

Entrees

CITRUS SMOKED TURKEY

w/ CORNBREAD STUFFING

Desserts

MAPLE CREAM PIE PUMPKIN PIE COCONUT-PUMPKIN PIE

CHOCOLATE TART PUMPKIN CHEESE CAKE BROWNIES WITH ICE CREAM

MINI-CHEESE CAKES

2011-11-08T02:49:00.000-08:00

Well I’ve finally got the Thanksgiving menu figured out. Just gotta run it past Julie to see if there should be any changes and then she’ll email it to everyone. Here’s the menu, there will probably be some changes made to it, because I’ve come to expect shortages in the Guatemala supply chain. Everything is available, just not always when you want it.

There will be about 20 people attending so I’ll need two ten pound birds, since most of the guests want white meat, and I’ll have to have plenty of leftovers for sandwiches. I’ll make stock from the carcasses and a pate´ from the livers to be served with crackers as an appetizer.

The turkeys will take at least three days to thaw in the refrigerator, then I’ll brine them overnight and marinade them for an extra day before putting them in my smoker.

2011-11-06T03:00:00.000-08:00

Ok, I got a lot of flak for the comments I made concerning American cooks. They aren’t all a lazy, undisciplined lot… some of them are actually quite good. About one out of a thousand have what it takes to become a chef, and that leaves 999 who are a royal pain in the ass!

Line cooking is where the real business of preparing the food you eat takes place. It is more about consistency, about unvarying repetition, tasks have to be performed over and over again in exactly the same way. The last thing I want in a line cook is somebody who is going to mess around with my recipes and presentations. I worked hard on them, getting the right textures and combination of flavors, while making sure my food costs are within reason. The customer is expecting the dish to taste the same every time, they don’t want to be surprised every time they order… or they won’t be back you can bet on it.

I don’t need or want a Bobby Flay wanna-be having fun with Kiwis, balsamic and ginger, who talks about a book deal or TV show, bitches about working holidays and the fact that he’s not making any more money.

I require blind, near-fanatical loyalty, and an automaton-like consistency under high stress conditions. I asked Wes, a chef pal of mine, who makes his own pasta and sauces from scratch daily and runs one of the best restaurant kitchens Florida, his thoughts on it. He greatly prefers Dominicans or Guatemalans. The Italian or American guy? You’re screaming at him in the rush, "Where's that polenta?! Is that fucking polenta ready yet? Gimme that polenta!" and they are gonna give it to you whether it’s ready or not. A Dominican or Guatemalan guy? He's just going to turn his back and stir the polenta, and keep cooking it until it's done, just the way you showed him.” No one can appreciate the American Dream of hard work leading to material rewards better than a non-American. The Mexican, Dominican, Guatemalan and Salvadorian cooks I've worked with make most culinary school educated white boys look like clumsy, sniveling little cry babies.

The Thanksgiving meal is coming along, I'll run the menu past Julie and see what she thinks about it before I post it here.

2011-11-05T03:14:00.000-07:00

Mostly Practical 2011 Holiday Gift List, part 2

What other toys are in the bag of tricks employed by professionals'? The number one, most indispensable object in most chefs' bags — is the simple plastic squeeze bottle. Most chefs on TV have been making everything from Mexican food to Chinese look like haute cuisine for years with these things. Maybe it's just ancho pepper mayonnaise he's squirting all over that tacos, but it looks abstract.

It’s no problem at all acquiring these things, they're essentially the same ones you see loaded with ketchup and mustard at any hot-dog stand in the country. Pastry chefs use them to prepare desserts too.

Mask a bottom of a plate with whipped cream, then run a couple of concentric rings of chocolate or raspberry sauce around the plate, and drag a toothpick through the rings or lines. That’s all there is to it.

A mandolin, is a vertically held slicer with various blade settings allow you to make those slick-looking, perfectly uniform julienned vegetables. All right, so the mandolin won't cut meat or make paper-thin slices of prosciutto. You need a professional rotary cold-cut slicer for that, like they have at the deli. The home versions really suck.

I highly recommend, if you can’t get your butcher to do it, going on ebay, craigs list and the classifieds your local paper to buy a used one.

With a failure rate of over 65% in the restaurant industry, it’s not hard to find a deal.

You can buy all sorts of professional quality stuff this way. I'd recommend pots and pans for sure when scavenging this way. Most of the ones sold for home use are too flimsy, and the heavyweight ones sold for serious home cooks is almost always overpriced.

Stockpots, saucepans, and thick-bottomed sauté pans are nice things to have, even necessary things to have, and there's no reason to buy new.

A set of non-stick pans is a thing of beauty. Crepes, omelets or a delicately browned fillet of fish? You need a nice thick non-stick pan, and not one with a thin veneer of material that will peel off after a few weeks of use. And when you buy a non-stick, never wash it. Simply wipe it clean with a rag after each use, and don't use metal in it, use a wooden spoon or non-metallic spatula to flip whatever you're cooking in it. You don't want to scratch the surface whatever you do.

I don't want to oversimplify here, but all you need are a few stainless steel and non-stick pots and pans with lids to cook with. They’ll last for years.

If you just gotta have new, go to cooking.com or The Stocked Pot If you just gotta have new, go to cooking.com or The Stocked Pot for your purchases.

2011-11-03T05:24:00.000-07:00

Mostly Practical 2011 Holiday Gift List

Normally I’m an unplugged kind of guy, I figure why complicate things with a lot of buttons and dials. Since I have only the use of one arm, I’ve had to rethink things a bit. My nonnegotiable tool kit includes basic metal tongs, a set of curved silicone spatulas, a good meat thermometer and a simple food mill or ricer for mashed-potatoes. I'll rotate some other gadgets in or out, but I find that with utensils, as with cooking in general, an arsenal of simple classics gets me where I want to go.

What is in a professional kitchen that you don’t have in yours? Many of the stock items, things such as garlic oil, ground spices and pureed vegetables, are made using the same model of equipment as yours. Food processors have become a must-have for professional and home cooks alike. Cuisinart makes the best available, whenever I plan on staying in one place permanently I’ll be sure to get one. In the meantime I’ll get whatever brand is available – just making sure that it has the highest wattage available and the biggest capacity. Black & Decker and Phillips both offer great inexpensive models. Why get a top of the line model that will last for ten years only to leave it behind after a year or two? Besides a food processor, what do you absolutely need? . Knives are obvious are obvious choices.

All you need, for God's sake, is a decent chef’s knife. No con foisted on the general public is so widely believed as the one that says you need a full set of specialized cutlery in various sizes. All those medium-size 'utility' knives, those useless serrated things, all that hard-to-sharpen stainless-steel garbage - not one of the damn things could cut a bushel of tomatoes. Please believe me, all you will ever need in the knife department is ONE good chef's knife, as large as is comfortable for your hand.

Most amateurs get excited about buying one of the old-school professional high-carbon stainless Steel knives from Germany or Austria, like a Wusthof, and those are fine knives, if heavy. High carbon makes them slightly easier to sharpen, and stainless keeps them from getting stained and corroded. But do you really need something so heavy? So difficult to maintain?

Most of the professionals I know have been retiring their Wusthofs and replacing them with the lightweight, easy-to-sharpen and relatively inexpensive vanadium steel Victronix knives. They can cut just about anything you might work with, from an onion to a sirloin strip. You should use the tip of the knife for the smaller stuff, and the blade nearer the heel for the larger. Practice on few onions, and you’ll be cutting like a pro in less than an hour. Nothing will set you apart from the herd quicker than the ability to handle a chef's knife properly.

Okay, here’s a couple of other knives you might find useful. I carry a flexible boning knife because I French-cut racks of veal and pork, and trim meat – I use the trimmings for stock. You can probably live without one if your butcher is doing all the work for you. But a paring knife is an essential item for every cook. I find it useful for everything from opening packages to fluting mushrooms.

A genuinely useful blade, however, is what's called the offset serrated knife. It's basically a serrated knife set into an ergonomic handle. This is a truly useful item that, once used, becomes indispensable. As the handle is not flush with the blade, but raised away from the cutting surface, you can use it not only for slicing bread, thick-skinned tomatoes and so on — but on your full line of vegetables, spuds, meat and even fish. But since it's serrated it doesn't really matter if it’s stainless steel; after a couple of years of use, when the teeth start to wear down, you just buy yourself another one.

2011-11-01T03:57:00.000-07:00

It’s about time to get ready for Thanksgiving, something that I look forward to every year… maybe even more this year. I have much to be thankful for this year – Julie and improving health at the top of the list. To Julies family and friends who have made me feel so welcome, I can’t express my heartfelt gratitude. Guatemala is home now and it feels so good and right.

But I digress, Thanksgiving dinner is the topic.

We’ve had BBQ’s, dinner parties, cookouts and convivios every month since we moved in. But Thanksgiving dinner is special… it has to impress everyone and Julie and I have to prepare it all ourselves. I begin with the menu, the most exciting part for me, as everything else will evolve around it. I choose traditional items such as devilled eggs, cornbread stuffing, green-beans with bacon and deep smoked Citrus Turkey. Of course there’ll be a couple of pumpkin pies too.

The rest of the menu will be based on the preferences of our guests and availability of the ingredients. Julie will begin calling and e-mailing everyone when she gets up, and throughout the day until everyone has been contacted. Thanksgiving like the 4^TH of July, is a uniquely American holiday, so we have to give plenty of notice. She will also ask them if there’s anything in particular they would like and if there are any food restrictions we need to take into consideration.

2011-10-28T03:32:00.000-07:00

For me to become a professional chef again, I had to repeat techniques over and over again until they became part of me, and the knowledge was ingrained in my hands. Until then, I couldn’t concentrate on the texture of the dish or the combination of flavors. Because of my faulty memory, I have copies of each recipe taped to the cabinets showing each step of the procedure in case I forget. I go over and over each recipe in my mind for days before I actually cook them. My knives, pots and pans all have to be in a certain order or I am lost and confused.

What most people don't understand about professional cooking is that it is not all about the better recipe, the best presentation, the most creative combination of ingredients. It’s more about consistency, unvarying repetition, over and over in exactly the same way. That’s why one of the most essential tools you can have is a set of digital scales. I convert all the liquid and dry measurements to weight for accuracy. If you ask three cooks to measure out a tablespoon of cornmeal, chances are you will wind up with varying amounts. Multiply that by the number of measurements in the recipe and there’s quite a bit of room for error. But an ounce is still an ounce no matter who measures it. Once a recipe is "set" anyone can make it, the hundredth one will taste the same as the first.

I don’t care much for American cooks, an opinion shared with a lot of other chefs. Generally speaking, American cooks suck. Most born in the USA, school-trained, culinary sophisticated types have a sense of entitlement. With few exceptions, they are lazy, undisciplined and, worst of all, high-maintenance. Annoyingly opinionated, possessed of egos requiring constant stroking.

2011-10-23T03:33:00.000-07:00

Its 3:15 and time to get started on another day. The three Vicodens I took before bed have worn off, my hands hurt, and my feet hurt too, pain radiates up to the knees, which add their own voice to the chorus. I'm psyching myself up for the long walk to the bathroom, an exercise I will no doubt perform with all the grace and ease a one legged man is capable of.

I can’t remember what it was like not feel constant pain, after a while you just live with it. By the time the second pot of coffee is perking, I’ve mastered the mechanics of walking and balancing, and can now wrap my ankles. It’s a lot to go through but it beats being in a wheelchair.

For me, cooking has been a life-long love affair of food, with moments both sublime and ridiculous. But like an old love affair, you only remember the happy times — the things that, attracted you in the first place, the things that kept you coming back again and again. I hope I can give the reader a taste of those things and those times. I've never regretted the unexpected left turn that left me half-paralyzed and often confused. And I've always believed that good food, good eating is all about the risk. Whether we're talking about raw oysters or working in a professional kitchen as a chef - food for me, has always been an adventure.
What better way to prepare for my new life than starting a Cafe?

2011-10-22T03:45:00.000-07:00

How did I end up in Antigua you ask? When well-known Guatemalan author and international journalist Julie Lopez, now my fiancée, asked me to visit nearly three years ago, I chucked everything, packed up Mutt and moved to Antigua. It was like discovering paradise compared to Colorado. It seldom gets below 65° even in the dead of winter, and it stays around 85° all year round. Mutt, my fifteen pound Maine Coon cat, loves the mild winters here.

Antigua is the perfect place to live. A large ex-pat community, lots of restaurants, hotels, and it’s cobblestone streets make it the most cosmopolitan city in the country. Hordes of tourists regularly flock here from cruise ships that dock only an hour away. There’s always something to do here, and despite the violence, crime and corruption common in the rest of Guatemala, it’s safe.

2011-10-20T03:37:00.000-07:00

My memory is sketchy at best, and not to be relied on. The accident itself, I can’t remember. Mostly what I know about my past reveals itself in unexpected flashes to be forgotten a day or two later. I know I used to be a business consultant and a chef because there’s a box of trophies and awards I’ve won that say so. I don’t remember much.

I do know that I would get a job as a dishwasher, or whatever position was available so that I could learn the various techniques used for a particular dish and then I’d quit. I was always more interested in how to prepare the food so it tastes good, than in making it look good. After all, the only reason for attending culinary school in the first place was to learn how to put things together in a pleasing manner. I didn’t want to be a chef, I could make twice as much consulting, and cooking was simply my way of relaxing and relieving stress.

After the accident, I can’t remember any of my recipes. But if I look up a basic recipe on the internet and begin preparing it, my memory will kick in and the result won’t be anything like the original. I stare at it as if it suddenly appeared from outer space, a more succulent, moister version of the original recipe. How did it get there? I don’t know, maybe it’s a muscle memory, a remnant of my past glory. I don’t have a clue, I can’t force it or I’ll get blinding headaches and see double. So I’ve begun to write down the recipes because my memory isn’t reliable – I forget the salt, or put it in twice or even three times. Once I even forgot the mashed potatoes. There they sat on the stove; whipped, creamy mounds, floating in butter and completely forgotten. The last guest had left nearly three hours ago.

2011-10-19T05:58:00.000-07:00

The brain is a wonderful and mysterious thing, it can rebuild or even establish new neural pathways where none existed before. I’m living proof - My brain reinvented me.

Between all the reading and my speech therapist, I could talk and interact with people to a limited extent. By three months my progress was so great that they gave me a custom wheelchair, a bright yellow thing with an armrest for my paralyzed right side. By now my routine was set, I’d go to the top floor, get off the elevator and race to the opposite side of the building, then take that elevator down to the next floor and repeat the process. I would do it over and over again, fifteen, thirty, fifty times until I was worn out. Then I would read and practice talking to myself, until it was time for the next appointment.

By the time my casts came off, I would work on the exercise bike until I couldn’t move. I was drenched in sweat, and the pain was so great I couldn’t move. I just kept repeating over and over again I can do it.

At first it was torture, but by the time I left the hospital, I could go all day with the resistance on high, after walking around the entire hospital pushing my wheelchair. I’m still numb on the entire right side and my memory is pretty well shot. But if I concentrate, I can talk and walk nearly normal. I taught myself to do everything left handed – knife skills were a bitch, but I can chop, dice, and julienne pretty well. I’m slow and clumsy, but it gets done. I’ve found that cuts and burns don’t bother me – and there were a lot of them. A quick rinse under cold water and I’m back cooking. It’s not just a lack of pain either, I’ve cut myself to where the bone was showing, and left imprints of my hands on pots when I would forget that they were hot – within two weeks there wouldn’t be a scar.

2011-10-13T05:57:00.000-07:00

The hospital routine never varied, breakfast at eight, lunch at noon and supper was served at six. The various appointments – doctor, speech therapy, personal hygiene, physical therapy, adaptive learning and psychiatry were sandwiched in between. Lights out was at 10 o’clock every night, seven days a week. It seems like it was a lot, and at first it was, but inside a week I was showering without assistance and had managed to transfer from my bed to a wheelchair. I saw the doctors about once a week. That left three hours of adaptive learning, speech therapy and physical therapy every day.

Every night I would leave my wheelchair further away, and stumble and hop my way to bed. Before long I could maneuver myself pretty good using my left side for balance and concentrating on what I had to do with the right leg to get it to move forward. It was slow and painful, not very pretty to look at but it got the job done.

During the day I would practice using the chair, it’s hard to go straight when using only one hand for locomotion… it tends to go in circles, but I managed. After a while I could make it down to the second floor for therapy on my own, without the help of an orderly.

That was a banner day for me because without an escort, I was free to roam the hospital at will and I took advantage of it. I’d load up two or three books in my wheelchair and off I’d go, whenever I got tired of “pushing” the chair, which happened often, I would read. I became a sort of fixture throughout the hospital, from the gift shops and outpatient clinics to the psychiatric ward. I knew every nook and cranny of the hospital, eventually the staff became used to seeing me around and ignored me.

How It Started

2011-10-06T04:03:00.000-07:00

What I remember most clearly about my new life is the sight of my family gathered around my hospital bed, looking grim and despondent. My right eye was fucked up - I was seeing double and saw everything through a hazy film, even so, one glance at their faces told the story… I was in deep shit. They didn’t think that I would survive this. I was angry at myself all the time for not being able to communicate, and now a new horror set-up shop - what if this would go on for the rest of my life? Or get worse? They’d send me to a convalescent home and I’d stay there, in my “marvel” of a wheelchair, until I died.

Then my brother entered the room, he’d flown all the way from Florida, and said “How’s it goin’ Bro.” After a few minutes he turned to my mom and said “He’s going to make it.” and promptly left the room. I didn’t see him again for nearly three years, when I visited him from my home in Guatemala.

“I can do this,” I said, although I didn’t believe it.” I will do it.” as I finally gave in to a drug induced sleep. The next morning when I awoke, I couldn’t remember my own name, but I could remember I can do it.

I was more determined than ever to prove the doctors wrong, and walk out of the hospital on my own two legs. So began one of the longest and most difficult journeys I’ve ever been on in my whole life.

From the Beginning

2011-10-02T05:37:00.000-07:00

I remember waking up in the hospital bed, how disjointed and confused my thoughts had been, how sometimes I couldn’t even recall my own name. The anger at not being able to express myself or be understood. The dawning realization that a part of me was never going to be the same. I spent nearly eight months in the hospital going through the hell of physical rehab, and getting speech therapy and learning to cope.

At first I slept most of the time, but gradually it got were I didn’t need but three or four hours of sleep. So I began to read. Every spare minute was taken up with reading, it didn’t matter what the subject matter was, it was all grist for the mill. Romances, technical journals, law books and fiction it was all the same to me. It was words, put down in order so that people could understand them, something I needed desperately if I was to prove the doctors wrong.

I also began to use a wheel chair that an orderly would use to take me to the break room or various appointments – physical therapy, speech therapy, getting fitted with braces and my own wheel chair. It was a state of the art electric one with a toggle switch to control it with the fingers of my left hand. I could even change the seat position from upright to laying supine. It was a marvel of technology… and I hated it.