The CFJustavessel Experience

I Desire More (cover)

2010-07-09T11:33:00.000-04:00

Undefined Search

2010-05-01T15:09:00.000-04:00

Searching for much, however, what it is I'm unsure.

Of its nature, of its portion, my definition is nonexistent.

Elevation of my intuitive possession has reached its climax, yet I have not made it there.

Like a grain of dust flowing in the sky-

This search has an unknown origin, and still no known destination.

Much like Hitler with the mission of no diversity, and the KKK with no mixing as its goal;

Some may say they were wrong in their plans, provoking the negativity;

Yet they took a stand.

Now, if a man stands on sinking sand, and one sits there in the same measure;

Well, riddle me this; who obtained more pride?

Even in the opposition one has a tangible source found to support what others disagree with,

yet my search is still underway;

Forcing me to rebel inside with the greater of two evil.

In the left corner pride, in the right fear;

Well, seems as if we are going all 12 rounds because staggering and cut eyes, and tumultuous cries;

Left and right blows, and even some illegal elbows, have been thrown within this ring just to see who will conquer.

Gikuyu had assistance given without even an appeal;

So, his search never had to generate-only get to the top of the hill.

To the top of Kirinyaga his search began and ended, but one problem;

I am not of the Kenya based tribe.

So, weakened yet elevated, staggered yet walking plain, I search yet in still for an undefined notion, undesignated thought with no reservations.

Relentless I search for the undefined.

The pen just had to testify!

Get Like Me

2010-03-12T14:31:00.000-05:00

I am unique;
The one and only.
You can't copy me.

My traits are unique;
Nobody can take my personality;
Or share my passions.

But they can pretend to do what I do.
Terrible singing, anybody can do that too.
Posers try to be like me;
Or feel the way I feel when angry;
Or sad.

Nobody can walk in my shoes;
Or feel my pain and passion.
Nobody can hear the tune I hear.

I stand alone;
You can't duplicate my sounds,
I create my own language.

Anybody can speak when they're mad;
Anybody can repeat what I say.
Posers try to be like me;
They envy me;
But wish they were me.

~My 7th Grade Class @ Crossroad Academy Charter School (Quincy, FL)~

Your Future

2010-03-12T14:25:00.001-05:00

Your future is what you want it to be;
I use to deal with it;
Letting my life pass by me,
Enclosed in my own.

I saw my opportunities;
Where my life seemed bigger to me.
My heart burning with passion;
To discover this world.

I overcame my obstacles;
I went into the world to experience my life;
to concur life with all my might;
With determination, courage, and confidence.

~My 7th Grade Class @ Crossroad Academy Charter School (Quincy, FL)~

Naughty By Nature

2009-12-01T00:02:00.000-05:00

Right projects out like a sore thumb, however it wears camouflage in our eyes;

We intend to do right in the midst of this life, but we are defeated in our tries.

Attempting over and over to walk on the straight and narrow;

But in this complex life, the target never embraces the arrow.

Explanation and answers never seem to align with the truth;

Actions speaking louder than our words are always viewed as uncouth.

Supporting what is right is only presented in a silent avenue;

Standing firm on our beliefs has no longer been considered a virtue.

We take the road travelled by many in order to grow in our ranks;

Never taking the journey travelled by less, for we fear to walk the plank.

The only time we complement is to cover up the many lies;

For we left behind the residue of our two-faces, and formed artificial allies.

Why is it so hard to live a life within the parameters that are correct?

Instead we take negative routes, and to all alternatives we neglect.

It appears that we are creatures of habit, and embrace the common side of failure;

Sadly enough we continue these paths, for we are all naughty by nature.

The pen just had to testify!

You Must Not Know Bout Me

2009-11-29T13:40:00.000-05:00

"I don't know how I am gonna make it." "I have bills due, just where is the money coming from?" "I am so depressed and I cannot find a release." These are all statements that we speak from time to time. Overwhelming experiences arise, and it is almost as if we forget all the knowledge that we have acquired from the Almighty God.

In the word, we are told of many accounts where God made a way when it seems that no way could be created. Daniel found himself in the lions' den...God made a way. There was a lady with the issue of blood...God made a way. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were in the fiery furnace...God made a way. What it seems like however, is that God's grace and mercy had a time limit on it. To explain that further, we feel as if God doesn't work in the same way in this present day.

It is so amazing how when problems arise in our lives we seek other options first. Friends, family, significant others, even psychic hot lines, trying to find answers to the problems we are having. Why not try God first? It amazes me how we can trust so much in man made things that fail us over and over, however when it comes to God, we have many apprehensions. The doctor gives us drugs to take, we ask and say nothing, pull up to Walgreens or CVS and get them, then we take them. All of this, with no questions asked. We go to a restaurant and order food, we don't see the chef prepare it, nor the server walk it to us, and we intake the meal with no issue. So, why when it comes down to a man that is perfect, a man that knows all and sees all, and a man that wants us to cast our cares on Him, and we are hesitant? Think about it.

In life, there are gonna be pains, heartache, disappointments, and obstacles that we don't understand. It is apart of life. However, just as these negatives appear, so is God. The only thing we have to do is ask, and have faith that He is going to provide. 1 Samuel 15:29 Tells us, "He who is the glory of Israel, does not lie or change His mind; for he is not a man that he should change his mind." Just because man fails you after giving a promise, and just because we have many Indian-Giver type individuals in life who renege on promises, doesn't mean that our God will do the same. He wants the best for us, and wants us to succeed. All we have to do is ask Him!

So you said you don't know how to make it; the bible tells you in Psalms 25:9, "He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME!

You said that you have bills and you don't know where the money is coming from; the word tells you in John 15:7, ""If you abide in me and my word abides in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you." YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME!

You are depressed and you can't find a release is what I heard you say; well, the bible tells you in Psalms 34:17 "The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delievereth them our of their troubles." YOU MUST NOT KNOW BOUT ME!

Try God; I promise you will not be let down. God works in His time, His way, and His methods because He knows what we need and when we need it. Beyonce gave us the highly known single, but in all actuality many of us must not know about God. The point to remember is that, Beyonce could find another him. In the case of my God, you can search far and wide, but you will never find one like the Father. Try Him for yourself!

The pen just has to testify!

He Changed Me

2009-11-28T09:40:00.000-05:00

He healed me from the breath I took--
inhaling air that contained much poison;
Touched me from my innermost entities freeing me of all corrosion.
Within me He covered;
For me He suffered;
Around me He altered;
Through me He doctored.
Held hostage only by limits created individually;
Finally analyzing it was indeed a sin to me.
The Solution = He changed me.

The Pen just had to testify!

Resist Because He Exists

2009-11-25T15:24:00.000-05:00

They scandalize your name, much like Paul Roberson explained with a melody;
They cast you out with no reason at all, like the innocense of a man possessing a felony.
They drag you through the dirts and muds of life without even having to hesitate;
Much like a wolf to human flesh, they sit and watch you as they salivate.
PREying to tear you down;
But fear not, our PRAying is more profound.

The pen just had to testify!

Distance From God

2009-11-16T12:21:00.000-05:00

Being awake, yet having motions mirroring REM;
Anticipating light’s uprising, however, embracing the dim.
Challenging the inevitable feeling it will secede;
Then realizing all negativity, and watching it impede-
Impede the mind, impede the heart;
What happens when God, and we are two worlds apart.

The pen just had to testify!

Addicted

2009-11-12T20:37:00.000-05:00

I'm ADDICTED...I admit it, I'm addicted to you.
But can you blame me? I
t's just something about the way you do the things you do.
Now, I know I sound like "The Temptations" with the words that I speak,
But it is something about your touch;
So strong, yet so meek.
Wondering many nights how I could possibly fit closer into your matchless arms;
However, not knowing that on your bracelet, I already assumed the position as a charm.

I'm ADDICTED... I admit it, I'm addicted with a strong measure.
Realizing I obtain more than the riches, powers, and the most abundant treasure.
Why reach and grasp more than what I already possess;
Much like participating yet again, once you've already won the contest.
Visibility becomes clearer to the state I reside in,
Listening is achieved to the ear I constantly confide in.
Warmth is ever present within the embrace I allow;
(Humph) I was once addicted, but it's even stronger now!

I'm ADDICTED...I admit it;
I'm addicted, with a feeling overflowing;
It's just like a chill that overtakes my insides,
And the weather doesn't even present snowing.
The roads I travel become plain, and all mountain-like obstacles become low;
What other type of addiction exists that would allow my intellect to grow?

I'm ADDICTED...I admit it;
I'm addicted with a strong emotion;
Much like the parting of that body of water, I can see through life's seas and
oceans.
Reversing the commonplace, and replacing the commonality;
I have become so infatuated with this entity, since my much needed transforming.
Realizing there would be no me if it had not been for him;
Understanding that I had been awakened where life once made me dim.

I'm ADDICTED...I admit it;
Don't try to save me from this state;
This doesn't require a scientific study, nor a genetic mapping trait.
I do not need the drugs, the counseling, nor a self help assisting course;
And please do not try to save me, or send to me your remorse.
A 12 step program has no place to where my addiction stands,
Because this addiction that I possess exists, due to only one man's hands.

The pen just had to testify!

Proverbs 16:9...In God's Time

2009-11-10T00:00:00.000-05:00

I've learned that in life, when things are ministered unto us we must continue the cycle.

I was riding through the city of Tallahassee, and of course there are numerous advertising boards throughout the limits. But as I headed home, I saw a sign outside of this church that stopped me in my tracks. It read: Proverbs 16:9. "In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Someone should have thanked God for this passage because I know how it feels to have question marks in life's paths.

In this life we all have dreams, and aspirations for ourselves. Sometimes we are so driven that when we hit rock bottom, or fall below the "success line" that we've individually set for ourselves, we fall apart. The thing we must understand is that it's not a mistake; God creates the paths for us to travel, our job is to just walk.

Take your mind back with me for just a moment. If you have ever gotten a house built, the builder builds the house from a blueprint. That blueprint is a guideline that he must follow. It gives him instruction on the "How's" and the "In what ways." Just as this blueprint guides the builder, God has set out a blueprint for us to follow in this Christian journey.

Proverbs 3:5 tells us to "Trust in the Lord God with all thine heart and lean not into our own understanding." Often, we may lean into our understanding in spite of what the passage instructs us to do. Because of the decisions we make, we find ourselves lost and confused. However, if we remain steadfast, and allow God to move, we will never fail.

God is the potter, we are the clay. Never have I seen or heard of the clay telling the potter how it chooses to be created. Therefore, simply put, know your place!

I thank God daily for His plan of perfection. Although we may not see it when we are in our waiting state, God has a plan for us. Understand that He will give you the desires of your heart, however He also knows when and where they are to be granted for the best results. Just as vegetation has seasons to be planted, and seasons to present harvest, Christians have seasons. Stay planted in God, for your harvest will be reaped with abundance.

Finance...pluck it up!

School/Degrees...pluck it up!

Healing...pluck it up!

Deliverance...pluck it up!

Whatever you need and desire- plant it in Christ, wait, and Pluck it up!

Peace and love, the pen just had to testify!

So Close, Yet So Far Away

2009-11-06T23:45:00.000-05:00

The tiresome struggle is evident; Repetitious turmoil prevalent.

Tears excessive much like the fountain of youth;

Awaiting and gaining, however missing the truth.

Relinquishing built up callouses that steadily borders the heart;

Thinking the race is almost finished, however someone pressed restart.

Nights mirroring midnight, no existence of the day;

Thinking we were almost there, however, we are so close yet so far away.

Madness presenting itself much like a bed of ants in a stir;

Much like Langston Hughes' question "what happens to a dream deferred?"

It is a relative issue in the midst of this life;

Being placed in the face of opportunity, however, being embraced with the strife.

Traveling in a circle, no directions to convey;

Thinking we were almost there, however, we are so close yet so far away.

Relentless, yet the effort fails, and there's fear to try once more;

Feeling like the gap is closed to even up the score.

Never-ending selection of a mind's negative permeation;

Often receiving less of nothing, excepting the degradation.

Trying to escape the past no matter what people say;

Thinking we were almost there, however, we are so close yet so far away.

Meeting at a fork in the road; left is Salvation, right is redundancy;

Standing at where they meet, we wonder "which way is the one for me?"

Pondering with limited time to make the decision;

Knowing if we fail this time, we'll fall short in the division.

Being placed in the opportunity to escape our spirit's decay;

Thinking we were almost there, however, we are so close yet so far away.

The pen just had to testify!

Trust Me

2009-11-06T23:22:00.000-05:00

Just as the wind blows slightly enough to make the trees kinetic...I'm there.

Much like the rising of the sun, it's evident...I care.

As a painting lays on the middle of a canvas, cast your cares on me;

Fret not in the midst of pain, I've told you, "I am with thee!"

Only a man of my greatness can move mountains and revive a soul;

My stature obtains substance that provides a truth in the lies told.

Not boasting in what I can do, just validating my ability;

Seems as if you've forgotten in the absence of serenity.

In the same stride of a Tiger, so is my walk beside you;

I'm the coverage in all parameters, I'm here to protect you.

As the rain leaves stains on a window, I want to leave a mark on your heart;

Let me take back control of your life; Please, my fine art.

As a crown to the head, let me assume the position;

Don't be fooled like those who doubt, let me start your redemption.

Just as a crescent is a form of the moon, let me be the light in you like a midday's noon.

Let me reside in your life like the air that you breathe;

Even though you can't see it, it is there. You believe?

So take the hand that I reach out, just as a lock to a key;

I am the answer to all apprehensions;

Take a chance---Trust me.

The pen just had to testify!

Catch 22

2009-11-06T02:42:00.000-05:00

Once I loved him, I truly did, with an abundance obtaining overflow.

However, I too had realized that it was time for me to grow.

The difficulty tripled it seemed, every time i resisted his hold;

Much like the calling of a golfer's "fore!", he pretty much had me sold.

I travelled down his constant road as quick as five o'clock at a place of employment;

Much like six figures deposited into the bank, he provided me with much enjoyment.

In the bliss of it all, I missed the point, and his motives that made him driven;

I was to busy in seventh heaven to watch the warning signs that had been given.

Just like Eve who disobeyed and ate from the forbidden tree;

I resembled a nine year old who accepted no fault, just proclaimed 'It wasn't me!"

I was lured in, captivated, I mean this entity was a perfect ten;

Just like Psalms 11, I was a bird, but fled to the wrong mountain.

The view of him was like a 12 pack beverage on a midday sun in the south;

However, in the back of my mind I knew his capabilities given word of mouth.

He turned on me, much like Friday the 13, everything seemed to go wrong.

Yet I stayed with him, instead of saying "That's a plenty!"- just like the 1914 song.

Like a sweet sixteen, excited enough, we started together on a new threshold;

However, just as soon as sorry set in, like a seventeen magazine he held lies within the same stronghold.

Again and again, I traveled back to him because I, like an 18 year old felt I was grown;

With assumed originality I kept on, much like the 19th states first fighter-plane flown.

Unlike Ms. Houston, I felt like the 20 dollar bill, with the way he treated me;

However, just like blackjack's 21, you don't know if you've won until you flip and see.

I changed my path and way of thinking, when I found a new man that was real and true;

So, why does both look so alluring to the eye? I can't have both--- A Christian's Catch 22.

The pen just had to testify!

We Hate

2009-11-03T23:36:00.000-05:00

It's yours so I want it.

It's mine so I flaunt it.

Jealousy exists instead of support;

We fear delivery, so instead we abort.

Slaying dreams of the potential great;

We cast away love, and instead we hate.

The rise in hatred is parallel with the rise in one's success;

We see another's progression, so we hope they digress.

Crabs in a bucket are what we mirror daily;

Unleashing words with our tongues with actions so deadly.

It doesn't benefit us personally, so we show little or no interest;

However, in the midst of our dislike, we become voluntarist.

Designating negativity in any manner is acceptable;

Causing so much disarray, only interested in residing under one's dermal.

This shall all cease---this hate of abundance.

Embrace the harmony, building up like a cadence.

Regardless of status; remember God validates you;

It is so much easier to love; Let's all accept this breakthrough.

The pen just had to testify!

Free

2009-11-03T23:27:00.000-05:00

Shaken loose from the chains that bind;

Much like Schindler's List, the devil attacks us one at a time.

Preying on our weak points, like a parasite to a vacant host;

Realizing that only by society's mindset we have been diagnosed.

The chains have been lifted, however we have to release ourselves from the place of captivity;

Whom the son sets free… It's done;

It's God's proclivity!"

The pen just had to testify!

I AM

2009-11-02T13:00:00.000-05:00

I am the peace within the chaos;

I am the power, like the kingdom of Laos.

I am the truth in the midst of lies;

I am the unveiling to every disguise.

I am the substance to every entity;

I am the explanation to all contrariety.

I am the great barrier like the Three Gorges Dam;

Realize--- "I am the GREAT I AM!"

Once we realize who He is, we will trust what He promises!

The pen just had to testify!

God's Promises

2009-10-31T14:56:00.000-04:00

God said we can move mountains;

Well tell Mount Everest to hold its ground.

He promised we can have what we speak;

So, I declare I shall dwell in the profound.

God said He won’t send us on journeys, without advising us on how to prepare;

So, even in the valley of the shadow of death--- I’ll never fear to go there…"

Trust God! It is a full proof plan!

The pen just had to testify!

The Power of the Tongue

2009-10-31T14:50:00.000-04:00

Lethal, toxic, poison possessed--all sentiments of this being;

Navigating through all things, growing stronger as its achieving.

The strength it obtains destroys the masses, and breaks down even the highest summit;

It's compacted with complex entities;

Even the strongest man can die from it.

Yield to the word, don't allow your intellect to be hung.

For this weapon doesn't discriminate;

It will destroy----the lethal tongue.

The pen just had to testify!

Euphoria

2009-10-31T14:46:00.000-04:00

Never believing in maybe,what-ifs,or possible opportunity;

Dwelling in a state of euphoric progression,which effortlessly consumes me.

Anchored in an abundance with overflow maintaining;

Covered in a centralized embrace one would call sustaining.

The mere existence of anything still couldn't replace this omnipotent stronghold;

Because the vision--Him dying on the cross for me;

Amongst all others has me sold.

The pen just had to testify!

The Race

2009-10-31T14:41:00.000-04:00

Relentless, tenacious, never-ending in my quest;

Not a competition, showdown, or even a simple contest.

For the race is open to all for multiple entry;

But this race can only be ran by Myself, I, and me.

It's a race that must be completed no single question rendered;

On your mark...get set...Go...

Negativity beware---On the task, my mind is centered.

The pen just had to testify!

A Word for Strength

2009-10-31T14:34:00.000-04:00

Life may seem unbearable when we choose to walk alone.

However, realize God may sit high, but His vision goes beyond the thrown.

Call out to the Lord, and He will answer unto His child which you are;

For there is nothing more pleasing to God, than adding peace where there was once a scar."

The pen just had to testify!

"He gives power to the weak. He increases the strength of him who has no might." ~Isaiah 40:29

Gone in 60 Seconds

2009-10-27T22:18:00.000-04:00

On your Mark...Get Set... Wait a minute, it was called a scratch;

Releasing over and over our mind's substance, and now it's ready to hatch.

Constantly awaiting a world record breaking show; It's now at 10 seconds;

Pow!---racers get ready...now GO.

At 20 seconds it deems necessary for a single retraction;

Paying very close attention yet missing the action.

Leaning into understanding classified as continual;

Realizing we are inhibited by our possessed residual.

The hand has now ticked, and tocked equaling 30 seconds;

We try to refrain from negativity, but life has seen "chance" beckon.

Fear holds much weight, yet strength has not waved its white flag;

It is now 40 seconds---time for retaliation, for you've been tagged.

50 seconds resides bringing maturation and acceptance;

Realizing the state of events avoiding divulgence.

Reality has placed weights which we have acquired over times hence;

Instead of broadening the encumbered, we decorate it with festering's fence.

Time passes quicker than our cognitive can follow;

Expression of the unfavorable causes the hearts to seem hollow.

Just as we feel we've master the entities that caused us to go insane;

We realize that the same fiasco has started again.

So, we find ourselves running that same race of congruence;

We think we've understood---

But then again; It's gone in 60 seconds.

The pen just had to testify!!!!

Battlegrounds

2009-10-16T17:55:00.000-04:00

Oh, it's gonna be a battle, a great brawl-an uprising in the midst.

Must the complexities of life arise to take control of this?

A big show down of the massive entities reigning supreme over all others present;

A battle is arising on the battlegrounds.

Battleground, territory, the place of this magnified challenge, is in preparation for a fest;

A fest of the top emotions brewing in this contest.

Not Tyson, not Ali, Balboa, nor Holy field;

But this is indeed a battle of what she is suppose to feel.

It's containing the limits, and suppressed notions that aren't acknowledged, but exist;

Exhale with no air;

Breathing with suffocation;

Submitting the unreleased;

Reviving the sedation.

A battle is arising on the battlegrounds.

Fear; and emotional response to death and anger-well responding is underway.

But not as a hidden measure, but as an out pour of her mind's replay.

Relentless visions appearing as the present;

Not full as a moon but only its crescent;

Shielding off wounds as they didn't exist;

Warding off emotions others can't resist.

A battle is arising on the battlegrounds.

Surrender, submit, release the guard that's been put in place;

Much like the common passage, in order to see we must first taste.

But the issue in this matter is that her buds may not align,

For with the taste of surrendering there is no single warning sign.

Elevating with a decline;

Rising with a fall;

Complete with an emptiness;

Going forth with a stall.

A battle is arising on the battlegrounds.

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!

Fear and surrender take your place.

Lying dormant so long has worn out its welcome, and now this uprising is making haste.

The best will reign and supercede that which is in the opposition -known as defeat;

A battle is arising on the battlegrounds;

Heart and soul take your seat.

Inevitability

2009-10-16T17:35:00.000-04:00

If there were no pains, we wouldn’t know it existed.

If we didn’t understand the highs of life, we’d be compelled to think it was constricted.

If we never shed a tear, we wouldn’t know the value of a smile;

Not realizing that’s what we longed for all the while.

Yet the inconsistencies in life show us that there can be,

A mode in our lives where we are freed.

We see the highs and lows,

the hurts and the pain;

However, we’ve learned that it helps us appreciate those things we gain.

The greater the test(s), the more profound the TESTimony becomes!

The pen just had to testify!