The Champ Speaks

Awful Drunk Karaoke With The Champ

2011-12-18T00:44:00.001-08:00

Occupy Mah Belly

2011-11-08T22:08:00.001-08:00

The Race to see who's right...

2011-11-01T19:11:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a, what society calls an "urban" area. An urban area, is supposed to mean a city area, like New York, Los Angeles, Boston, etc, but has morphed into a euphemism for non-white. Or racially mixed. Or even just a predominantly black neighborhood.

Growing up in this environment was a blessing. I have been exposed to many cultures and consider myself very accepting of any and all racial backgrounds. I specifically grew up around a lot of black kids. I was what some people would have called a "wigger". I dressed, talked and acted in the influence of the culture I was surrounded by and were friends with. I was the cream in the Oreo cookie. The one white kid that hung out with the black kids. The white kid that dated only black and hispanic girls. The white kid that could get away with the, so called, N-Word.

Then I grew up. We also moved to a predominantly white neighborhood while still going to school in the old neighborhood. I wouldn't say that this new exposure to mostly white people is what made me grow up more, I was just beginning to mature and become my own person instead of emulating what I wished I was at the time. I went on to graduate from high school and start working and never really went back to that neighborhood, except for the occasional visit to a friends house. My dating choices have changed too. I don't find myself attracted to black girls anymore. I still enjoy Hispanic women, but I tend to lean more toward being attracted to white women for some reason. I think this is because of my surroundings. I find that when I've worked at a place that was predominantly black, I would feel more attracted to black girls. I'm sure there is a logical reasoning behind it, but it was never really a choice I made.

My friends since then have grown to be very much like New York City itself, a melting pot. I have many friends, both nearby and online in far away cities, of all races. It's a nice mix to have. I also tend to surround myself with pretty rational people and I'm thankful for that as well. I feel that, for the majority of the people I know, I can talk about any topic and do so freely. If I feel like something I say might be offensive to someone I care about, I will, at the very least, preface it by saying "I hope you don't find this offensive, but...". If it's someone I don't know well, I will do the same, however if they are offended, I probably wouldn't feel as bad. Either way, I try to be respectful, while also not trying to push my point of view on to people. But I also don't compromise my point of view for the sake of possibly offending someone, whatever topic that might be.

So one day, while on facebook, a new friend of mine posted a picture before Halloween. The picture was a poster.. with a message. This person is new to my life, so we're literally just becoming friends. But she is an avid "rights" person. What I mean by that is... people obviously have beliefs in things, right and wrong and all that. And I think that when we, as people, feel the need to stand up for something, when something makes us really care, we do care very much and stand up for it. Then there are people that can find the lack of equality in everything. Someone that needs a cause. That thinks that just because something, somewhere doesn't seem fair, that there should be a protest about it, or a sit in, or walk out, or what have you. At least that's the first impression that I get. And yes, everyone deserves a voice and deserves to be heard, but not everyone can and not everyone will. Our world is way too overpopulated for that to every be a reality. Things are not fair, never have been fair and never will be fair. And while some causes do deserve to be fought, too many are fought because of emotion, rather than rational thinking. Too many things in life that, if left alone, will disappear, are instead brought to the forefront and then given even more attention than if people would just let it go.

I'm not getting specific, of course, because you can plant that idea on any agenda you find yourself in disagreeance with. You're either nodding your head in agreement, or you think I'm completely nuts right now. Either way, hopefully you're thinking.

The poster in question is this:

What you're seeing is 4 kids, each of different ethnicities, holding up a picture of a Halloween costume that is a caricature of a symbol of that culture. The one thing I respected about the person that posted this poster on Facebook, is that she never pushed a cause on me. When we hang out, she never brings up something just because she thinks I need to be a part of the cause. And if you have an opposing point of view, will at least listen to it and agree to disagree. I completely disagreed with the agenda of this poster and commented.

I think that, for all intents and purposes, Halloween costumes should not be politicized. I think it's the one time of year, where no one should be subjected to having to limit their ideas at the expense of offending someone. I believe that about other areas of life as well (most even), but let's keep this on topic.

I get it. The little Hispanic boy is supposed to be sad because someone dressed up in a poncho and rode a fake donkey. The problem is, it's not as though this does not exist as a real thing. We need to look at the intention of the costume. I don't think that most of the people that decide on that costume is saying to themselves "I'm going to be a dirty Mexican this year and wear a poncho and donkey as my costume". Does that happen somewhere? Sure. Will someone, somewhere be offended by it? Maybe. But where do we draw the line between an innocent depiction of something and being racist?

Next to that is the terrorist character. And this, of course, is supposed to imply that the little Arab boy is offended by the depiction of what most people think of when you say the word "terrorist". Yes, I understand, Timothy McVeigh was white. But in our American minds, we are geared to think of what the current "threat" is. And at the moment, the people that have attempted to harm us on our soil have been of Arab decent. It sucks. And not all Arabs and Muslims are bad. Most are not, I believe. But the character in the photo isn't supposed to depict Mohammed who lives down the block and is a nice man. It's depicting a cartoonish version of what we think a terrorist is.

The Asian costume, in my opinion is the most ridiculous of the lot. The image of the Geisha is a classical look of beauty. The history behind it has more to do with prostitution and forced entertainers, more so than being an ethnic jab. The little girl in the picture should be offended as a woman, by the Geisha costume rather than as Japanese. I would almost be able to see her point in that case. The fact of the matter is, the Geisha culture, while eventually dying down, became a means of work for women in Japan and did eventually become respected entertainers and I think, is seen more as traditional and respected now a days.

The Black costume is the one I have the hardest time defending. Images of black face, hit me in a certain way, that just doesn't feel right. It's uncomfortable to watch. The movie Bamboozled, by Spike Lee satirized a modern day minstrel show brilliantly, but it was difficult to watch at times. That being said, let's consider the context. The girl in costume in the poster is a cheerleader, Whitney Isleib. 2 years ago, she thought of a costume that might be funny. She decided to go as Lil Wayne. Considering today's society, did she make a bad choice wearing the costume? Sure, I'll agree with that. Does she and should she have the right to wear this costume? Absolutely. I had an ex girlfriend that went as half of a Milli Vanilli costume for Halloween. I had reservations behind it, not because I thought it was offensive, but because I was afraid of the backlash she'd received. I didn't worry about her intentions because I knew she wasn't coming from a hateful place. She loved everyone she knew of all races. And the friends at this party accepted her costume, thought it was funny and they all drank and had a good time. In mixed company. So shouldn't Whitney Isleib have been afforded the same treatment? Apparently not, based on one thing, people knew who she was. I honestly do not believe that she decided that she wanted to offend black people that day.

On the website UrbanSportsTalk, the comments on a post about this situation, start out like this: "So what?!!! I am black and this is not dressing in Black Face! There is a difference! Lil’ Wayne is very popular and all races listen to his music, so if she wants to dress like Lil’ Wayne, who give a flying flipper? There are much more important issues to worry about. This was innocent fun." and "Hahah!! as a Black person I have to say I could give two flying craps about her dressing as Lil Wayne It’s a big difference between this and black face! I think that this is one of those costumes that’s so horrible it’s funny". So what's all the fuss about?

When I disagreed with this poster, it turned into a thread of over 50 comments. All of the commenters were white and a debate ensure. Aside from myself, there was one other particularly argumentative person. As soon as I saw her name, I knew what I was in for. Anyone that has their facebook name as JediEquality, is going to rally for this poster hardcore. And she did. Let me preface the following by saying that this person is also white, of Italian and Jewish decent, I'm told.

She started out on the offensive with: "People are actually defending these Othering, racist costumes??" I heaved a little at the word "othering". And defending the costumes was not necessarily what I was doing. What I was doing was challenging the way people think. What I was doing was trying to express that while people have the right to feel a certain way about something that might hurt their feelings, those people that have offended them, have the right to be offensive, if they so choose. You can't figure out intention without actually sitting down and talking to someone. The problem with today's society is that it's easier to assume something will offend someone and get rid of it altogether, rather than actually see where someone is coming from.

The ironic thing of this conversation about racial offense was that this person, I felt, was doing the very thing that she was rallying against. She made comments like "Figures it's white dudes doing that. (And yes, Jewish passes for white in America.)". And with that, she completely lost me. Any attempt at an actual conversation went out the window. Because the rationality was thrown out. In defending the cause of this poster and the marginalization of people of those ethnicities, she marginalized my opinion because I was white and apparently privileged because of it.

She went on to say, "We live in a society that values whiteness and devalues Otherness. When you're considered white, you are not subjected to the same things a person who is not considered white is, so you don't have the same consciousness a person of color has when it comes to what is racist and what is not, unless you consciously choose to educate yourself on this. When a person of color says something is racist or offensive to them, it is not your place as a white or white-perceived person to try to lecture them or anyone else on why it's not racist, or 'surely they didn't mean it that way'."

Fair enough. Eventually, she apologized and settled down and we got down to business and both calmly discussed how we felt and agreed to disagree.

Racial issues and differences are interesting to me. Especially having had an exposure to black culture that the average white kid doesn't have. And while I wanted to be part of the culture I emulated, the difference between me and a lot of kids that emulate the culture these days, is that I was accepted. I was considered a peer. My black friends would call me "redbone" as a joke. Or say things like "you're not white". Coupled with my ability to think rationally, objectively, and without emotion, I think this gives me a unique perspective.

But was I wrong? Was I just thinking unemotionally and not respecting the opinions of the people of those other cultures? Was I perhaps debasing those cultures by brushing the possible offensive nature of these costumes?

I forgot it about the post for a day or two, when I saw another post on Facebook. I have recently become a very big fan of MMA and saw a Halloween post by an MMA fighter that went as follows: "Miguel Angel Torres: Halloween costume, no this is my everyday attire." and had the picture to the right attached to it.

It got me thinking again. So I used the aforementioned melting pot of friends I have to my advantage. I rounded up a few people who's opinions I value, people I knew wouldn't sugar coat things and get right down the their real feelings. I took each racial/ethnic background and created conversations with the group of each of them and started a round table discussion of sorts. While you might find their reactions surprising, I didn't.

I asked them if they felt these costumes were offensive. I asked them to look at the posters, but to forget any subtext or message that the poster was trying to push. Did they feel offended that this costume existed? Would they be offended if someone was wearing it. Cher started the conversation by saying, "Honestly I wasnt offended by any of it. To be offended by it, for me I would have to take it as a personal attack. No one dressed up as Cher, just a black person and I feel that I dont represent every black person."

Deron did find the costumes offensive, but not for the same reasons the poster was implying. He says "As a black male I'm more offended when I'm around a group of white people and all of a sudden they feel the need to be hood and greet me with WASUP CUZ and then try to attempt a handshake that they don't even know." I believe that he was more offended at someone's attempt at being "down" than with the costume itself. He continued "Just be yourself. I can tell the difference between a white person that's into the culture and someone trying or someone trying to showcase 'their blackness'. I'm also more offended by white girls that take the 'gangsta' picture with the hat cocked".

When I spoke to my Central/South American friends, Daniel mimicked Miguel Angel Torres' idea and said "once I dress(ed) as a burrito loco!!". Stephanie said "sometimes people just take things way too personal". Hector made the most vocal and logical argument "if you're gonna be offended over a costume, you gotta ask yourself WHY are you offended. If i see some dude dressed in a pancho riding a stick donkey, fine, i never rode a donkey, I ain't Juan Valdez....why is the dude in the lower right corner offended? is he a terrorist and offended some dude dressed up like a terrorist? ya know what i'm saying? pick and choose your battles, and don't look like an asshole for it".

Speaking of the terrorist costume, surely a person of Middle Eastern decent would be offended by the costume. Especially considering our currently climate. Turns out, not so much. Naader states, "Im personally not offended by the costume. Sure, the costume IS insensitive. That's the nature of many stereotypes. I don't feel we should make it off limits for people to wear them." He did offer a warning though, "I'd say that people who choose to wear them should keep in mind that certain people might take offense." but was also realistic about it, "The caricatures are almost to be expected during wartime, because we see these as stereotypes of the enemy. It's harmful to have all these stereotypes at a time when we need to construct a better post-war world....Now, I don't find any of the costumes you cited as really offensive. Comedy is based on caricature, often, and Halloween gives people the chance to live out that comedy. My life is not greatly affected by the image of the bomber, and most people do not develop negative images of me based on my ethnicity."

Finally, the Geisha costume. I feel ridiculous even addressing it, but so did Matt who started the conversation with a joke, "The poster offends me because the other ones seem like better steryotypes then the japanese one". I asked him to be serious for a minute and tell me what he really thought. He says, "They (Geisha) were part of the everyday culture historically...i dont think costumes should have limits except if they physically harm others, or display certain things which have been deemed inapropriate for society (like pornography)"

The part that bothered me most about the argument that ensued over the poster was that, while I was being called out for supposedly brushing aside the feelings of someone that could be offended by the post, I was faced with what I thought was more dangerous than what I was being accused of. And that was assuming that the people of those races should be offended by these images. While it may be insensitive to think that someone is overreacting a certain way or making too much of something, it's way more insulting to assume that they SHOULD act or feel a certain way without allowing the ability to think critically about it. And it turns out, that when given that chance to think critically, and as an individual, the things we think are so offensive, really aren't.

So I asked everyone one final question. What would you say to someone, specifically someone white, that was supposedly defending their honor, and found these costumes offensive either personally or on their behalf?

Nix says "i would tell that person that I understand where they felt offended but at the same time you have to take it for what it is. those costumes were in no way created to attack anyone as much as it was to entertain. If its not your cup of tea then that's that. I find BET absolutely offensive but loads of people watch it."

Cher says "I wouldnt be offended that a costume like this exists. I would look at it as...something for pretend. I would not question as to why a costume to be a black person was made. I would just look at it as someone wanted to simply dress up and be something other than who they really are"

Naader says "I would remind them that this is a free country, that the costumes reflect a humorous point of view, and that Halloween is one of the few times of year when people are allowed to dress up as ridiculous characters."

But I think that Matt says it best, "I'd tell them they should worry about themselves, not nessasarily as a ethnic representitive, but as an individual. What gives them to right to speak for people whom they arn't or havn't gotten direct opinion from? If someone does get offended by something it's on them to take action.
I say that cars are harmful and smoking is harmful. Life isn't perfect nor should it be."

We should respect one another. We should love one another. And we should accept one another. Even if it means we can offend one another.

My Competitive Eating Matrix

2011-09-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

Today was the Chef One Dumpling Eating Contest. The field was stacked, as it is every year. But I was able to avenge the horrible showings I've had in the past 2 years. I placed 3rd with 45 dumplings in 2 minutes behind Dave Brunelli (60) and Joe Menchetti (69 - a new record). In 2009 I DQ'd because the whole wheat dumplings they used broke down differently and I choked out. And last year, I suffered by playing it safe. the only thing that sucks is that my number this year would have been good enough for 2nd place last year.
Leading up to and including the contest, I've had a friendly rivalry going with fellow eater Michael Longo. I made up a pretty funny shirt to egg him on:

I came through on my promise of a win and now the dragon is resting and laying in wait for tomorrow when we face off again in a longer contest, which is more along the lines of his specialty (where as I am better in short, speed focused contests).

All the trash talk got me to thinking... What was my record against other independent pros? So I came up with a little Matrix...

Sunshine MacLean - Wins: 0 Losses: 3

Joel Podelsky - Wins: 17 Losses: 5

Sal Carbone - Wins: 0 Losses: 2

Dale Boone - Wins: 1 Losses: 2

Joe Menchetti - Wins: 0 Losses: 18

Tom Gilbert - Wins: 0 Losses: 3

Jay Gorman - Wins: 3 Losses: 2

Bob Kuhns - Wins: 0 Losses: 1

Paul Acaria - Wins: 4 Losses: 1 Ties: 1

Kevin Kordalski - Wins: 1 Losses: 0

Pete Czerwinski - Wins: 1 Losses: 6

George Van Laar - Wins: 2 Losses: 0

Mike Hoffman - Wins: 6 Losses: 0 Ties: 1

Ian Hickman - Wins: 1 Losses: 3

Dave Brunelli - Wins: 0 Losses: 3

Marcos Owens - Wins: 1 Losses: 0

Mike Longo - Wins: 3 Losses: 2

Elliot Maruffi - Wins: 0 Losses: 1

Dave Goldstein - Wins: 0 Losses: 1

Pat Vivano - Wins: 1 Losses: 3

Matt Holowicki - Wins: 0 Losses: 2

Don Lerman - Wins: 1 Losses: 0

Conclusion? I'm a mid-level eater. There are certain people I can beat consistently and others that beat me consistently with an upset here and there. Either way, I've had fun at just about every contest I've been to and succeed in the area where it truly counts for me, and that's doing media and television. I may not be the best eater out there, but I'm one of the most entertaining and more often than not, wind up in the top 3 or "in the money" as we say.

2011 : The Comeback

2011-05-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

When we last left our hero, he was down and out in Brooklyn, NY. Jobless and depressed and not doing too well.
In august of last year, I walked into work one day and got the news. I was being laid off after working just 10 months with the company. I was crushed. This was my first full-time job. I really liked working there. I felt great and had a sense that I was finally moving my life in the right direction.
When I was pulled into the big meeting room, I knew what was going to happen. I could just sense it. Then I saw the woman that works in HR and it was confirmed. I cried right there in the room. I'm not afraid to admit it. I was a baby about it. I was just in shock I suppose.
What followed was probably the 8 most depressing months of my life. I was sending out resumes left and right and was getting minimal responses from places paying $8 an hour and had entrances like this:

With the recession we're currently in, there was nothing out there for me. My resume looked like crap. I only had experience at each position I held for about a year, but they were all for legit reasons. I felt overwhelmed on a daily basis and felt like I was spiraling out of control.
The only thing keeping me from truly going into the deep end was my girlfriend Bianca. We were sort of keeping each other afloat actually. She was going through some hard times, both personally and professionally. When I was down, she picked me up and when she was down, I picked her up. And at the same time, our love was mad and crazy and volatile. A ship with no steer. And every time I second guessed our relationship and was drowning in our relationship, I looked into her eyes and was brought right back to the surface. I would think about what leaving her would do to me and do to her and how much I loved her and then none of the problems mattered.
Then a hand reached out. I was on craigslist, looking for work, and I saw an ad for the managers position at the place I was laid off from. I asked a former co-worker about it, curious as to what was going on and he was very vague about it. Turns out he was leaving as well.
I received a message from the guy who is now one of the top bosses and asked me if I wanted my job back. I could have clicked my heels. I was psyched to come back. I was finally out of the slump and felt halfway alive again.
Unfortunately my tumultuous relationship with Bianca came to a head and we broke. She was right, we met each other at the right time when we both needed someone really important to hang on to. And for that, she will forever be my friend.
But I'm starting to think she was right about something else. Nothing truly does last forever. I'm a cynical guy to begin with, but I'm just afraid I'm not going to find my person. Because what I want is so indescribable. And yet, I think what I want is so simplistic that it's a completely unattainable standard for a girl to live up to. My summer is wide open to find out. Will I find a summer love?

That brings us to 2011 : The Comeback! I'm really happy to be back at work, I'm happy that On the television end, the first half of the year has been fruitful. The one shining light at the end of last year was that I filmed 2 great episodes of MTV's Silent Library:

I also filmed for a new show coming this summer to the Discovery channel. That was a great shoot, but I'm holding on to the details until the episode airs.
I'm in consideration for another show and who knows what else can happen?

I ordered myself a custom made wrestling style belt to complete my Champ gimmick. A belt I can finally wear around my waist, lol. I also did start the CE year off right with a great win at a place called Kyochon where they make some great Korean fried chicken wings. I also placed 3rd in the Go Go Curry Eating Contest. I think I will be bowing out of that one in the future. Rice is a rough one.

So that's about it. Hopefully I will continue working for awhile to come and find a kick ass girl to share my time with and in the meantime, just enjoy being alive.

Go Go Curry Qualifier. The Champ MALE's it in...

2011-05-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

My top movies of 2010...

2011-01-29T14:58:00.000-08:00

Haven't been blogging much as of late due to the whole lack of employment thing.
I've been zapped of motivation to do much of anything outside of finding work.
Also, my dumb ass messed up my keyboard on my laptop making it difficult to type at length.
That being said, I figured I'd throw my movie list up because I know some of my friends out there like my movie recommendations.
Last time I posted my list at the end of the year, but I realized that I got to see a few movies after, some of which would have wound up making my to 10 (i.e. Hurt Locker). So I waited a month to catch a few more.
Just to note, as I always do, my rankings are not necessarily about how "good" they are. I rate them based on level of enjoyment. Just because something is good enough to be an oscar winner doesn't mean you're going to like it. If I'm entertained and it's a "bad" movie, then it could be a top movie for me.

Without further ado, my favorite films of 2010...

1)

The short version of the storyline is that Leonardo DiCaprio and his team are able to get inside people's dreams. There is a process to get the person's mind they're inside to produce an idea they would not have thought of. They are hired to do this in an attempt at corporate espionage. In doing so, DiCaprio would receive freedom to enter back into the US to see his son after being accused of killing his wife.
What can I say about Inception that hasn't been said? It's, simply put, the best movie that came out last year. It's smart, it's entertaining, it's technically amazing, it's heartbreaking, it has all the elements that a movie should have. It's also complicated. If you're not paying attention, I admit, it can be hard to follow. I wasn't a fan at first. Then I had an "Aha!" moment. Once I figured it out and realized what was going on, I was amazed. My only 5 star film of 2010.

2)

You might be laughing that I have this at number 2. And if you told me that this would have been one of my favorite movies of the year a year ago, I would have laughed too. In fact I remember when I first heard the concept and bitching about it on Myspace (those were the days, huh?). Then I saw the trailer and thinking, "hey, that doesn't look so bad". I gave it a chance and I'm glad I did. I wound up loving it. First of all, I knew Jaden Smith could act because he was great in Pursuit Of Happyness, one of my favorite films of that year. The story was similar to the original and yet completely different. Jaden winds up in China because his mom's job was outsourced. He get's bullied, like the original and seeks revenge in a fight tournament. When Jackie Chan was cast as the new Mr. Miyagi, I also didn't like the idea. I was wrong there as well. He's not doing the slapstick stuff we're used to. It's more of a dramatic turn for him and also pulls it off. Even though you will be thinking about the original one, if you forget about it, you'll find you're seeing a different movie and an enjoyable one at that.

3)

Another surprise. I didn't think much of Last Exorcism when it was advertised and figured it would be just another throw away movie. It's about a documentary crew that follow a priest who doesn't really believe in demons and uses smoke and mirrors to perform fake exorcisms to help the rubes that do believe in it and think someone they love is possessed. He goes to help a family and shit gets real. But not real enough to believe that there's really a demon. And I believe that this is where the film succeeds for me. This is not really a scary film. It's definitely creepy and unnerving, but there's not much gore, there's no heavy make-up on the lead girl to make her look demonic. She does a great job when she's possessed and not, but they didn't make her "scary" looking, which kinda makes it creepier in my opinion. I won't give away the ending, but it was totally unexpected. If you're a horror fan, this is definitely recommended, just don't go in with expectations.

4)

I didn't like Shutter Island at first. I knew that it was well done, but I saw everything coming. Halfway through the film, or even sooner, you know exactly what's going on.
This is another film with Leonardo DiCaprio. I'm not going out on a limb by saying he's one of the best, if not the best, actor out there right now. He plays a detective, along with his partner, Mark Ruffalo, as they investigate a missing person in a psych hospital.
It was upon said second viewing that I appreciated the movie. Without actually giving away the ending, there are things that you won't notice, or be looking for until you watch it again. I would recommend a 2nd viewing, only because it's almost as if you're seeing 2 different movies.

5)

Foreign movie alert. This is a French film about Muslim and Corsicans in prison. A young Muslim man gets sent to prison and winds being forced into service for a Corsican gang and winds up working with a friend on the outside selling drugs behind the gang leaders back and gets caught after being taken under his wing.
A Prophet is well acted, well directed and was nominated for best foreign film at the Oscars.

6)

Directed by and starring Ben Affleck, The Town is about a group of friends who rob banks and the FBI trying to hunt them down. Along the way Affleck falls for a girl they blindfolded, kidnapped and released after he tries to see how much information she has on them. Affleck is great as is the rest of the cast. It wasn't as good for me as most people because I felt it was a little cliche at times and I couldn't suspend disbelief for some parts.

7)

Let me first say, I never went into Human Centipede intending to like it. 2 girls get lost in the middle of Germany and look for help. They find themselves in a house of a madman scientist who is looking for victims to make a Human Centipede. If you're wondering what a Human Centipede is, it's the process of sewing the mouth of person number 2, to the ass of person number 1 and then doing the same to person number 3 giving them the appearance of a centipede.
I thought it would be a throw away film. And maybe to some people it was, but the concept is so horrifying and disgusting, that for the first time I can think of, I actually cared about the characters in a horror movie. And that's why it made the list. Not the only reason thought because it was a lot better than it had any business being.

8)

Straight to DVD, Unthinkable wasn't on my radar, but turned out to be worth the attention. The FBI arrests a man that they believe will blow up a building in a terrorist act and call in Samuel L. Jackson as an interrogator who tries to get him to talk. I should say that the writer has an agenda. The terrorist, as you would suspect, is an Arab. SLJ has a hard time getting him to tell them where the bomb is and keeps going to more extreme measures to get the info until he goes to the... Unthinkable... extreme. The whole thing is a bit outrageous, or maybe it isn't, as the director is probably telling us, however it is an interesting watch.

9)

Buried is interesting in that it's a one man show. Literally. The entire movie is comprised of something, I'm sure, most women wish they could have... Ryan Reynolds in a box. Reynolds handles the movie well. He's stuck in a coffin that's been burried with a light and a cell phone and is being held for ransom. He attempts to get help while going through the bureaucracy of business and government. Sounds like it could be boring but it never does get there.

10)

And now for the feel good movie of the year, Hachi. This stars Richard Gere in a based on a true story film, about a guy who finds a dog and takes him in. The dog follows him to the train to work everyday and then waits for him to come home. And then Gere's character dies and the dog goes to the station and waits... and waits... It's a sweet heart breaker of a film.

Finally, here is the ranking of the rest of the films I've seen from last year...

She's Out of My League
Nightmare On Elm Street
Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Winnebago Man
Remember Me
Green Zone
Winter's Bone
Wall Street : Money Never Sleeps
Black Swan
The Fighter
The Horde
Splice
Catfish
Altitude
Kick-Ass
Frozen
Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work
Hot Tub Time Machine
Case 39
Youth in Revolt
Legendary
The Social Network
Tron : Legacy
Iron Man 2
The American
Temple Grandin
Knight And Day
Knucklehead
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction
Alice in Wonderland
Sorcerer's Apprentice
Skyline
Get Him To The Greek
Cop Out
Mercy
Last Airbender
Damage
The Experiment
Date Night
Diary of a Wimpy Kid
The Runaways
Greenberg
Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths
Daybreakers
Don McKay
Letters to Juliet
Repo Men
Micmacs
Freakonomics
The Crazies
The Secret in Their Eyes
Kevorkian
Mega Piranha
Dinner For Schmucks
The Warlords
Ondine
Legion
Predators
Book Of Eli
Batman: Under The Red Hood
The Other Guys
30 Days Of Night : Dark Days
Dear John
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead
44 Inch Chest
The Expendables
Smokin' Aces 2: Assassins' Ball
Clash Of The Titans
Robin Hood
Defendor
Mother
Fireball
Lake Mungo
Halo Legends
Circle Of Pain
Lovely, Still
Homeless: The Motel Kids of Orange County
Red: Werewolf Hunter
Lake Placid 3
Peacock
The Penthouse
All My Friends Are Funeral Singers
Night of the Demons
The Descent: Part 2
Road Kill
District 13: Ultimatum
Furry Vengeance
MacGruber
The A-Team
Lost Boys: The Thirst
Shoot the Hero
D.C. Sniper

My top 10 films of the first half of 2010

2010-06-27T13:07:00.000-07:00

1) 2)

3) 4)

5) 6)

7) 8)

9) 10

And with this, I let her go...

2010-06-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

I wrote this while dealing with the loss of a relationship. I'm posting this to release it and let her go and gain closure. I've removed a few details to protect her identity.
I'm just about there.

The story of us...

Mar. 26

I met her while I was living with my ex....

We started chatting online and the first posting I saw of hers, I'm not sure why, but I felt connected, with no credible reason for it. Her icon didn't show who she was and I had no idea what she looked like. And yet, there was a pull.

A few weeks later we exchanged facebook profiles. She was beautiful. Her face could light up a room. Her smile was the first thing I saw and the first thing I think of. Not knowing how she would take it, I admitted that I had a crush. The problem was, we were BOTH in relationships (she had a kid, complicating the situation). She admitted that she had a crush on me too and we became friends.

We were friends that admitted to how much we wanted to fuck each other. It was only supposed to be an affair. She couldn't leave her boyfriend for logistical and comfortablility reasons and I wasn't quite ready to leave my girlfriend because I was struggling with how I felt about her.

We bonded over our relationship issues. She told me the things that upset her about her bf. I assured her that that wasn't me and vice versa. We seemed to be everything that we thought we were missing in our current relationship.

And then she said it... "I'm just scared of the thought of falling in love with you".
And then I thought it... "Ya know what, I am too"....

When I started feeling things for her. More than just about being a friend that wanted to fuck her, I knew it was time to end my relationship. It wasn't fair. I found the courage that I don't usually find, and I broke it off. And yet, I was excited at the prospect of her.

Finally, we met. She only had time for a quick meeting. Literally 5 minutes of hanging out. I looked into her eyes once, and I knew. This was the girl for me. I didn't want or care about anything else in that moment. The word "hi" was all I could muster and I kissed her. My hand caressed the back of her neck and our noses rubbed together and we looked into each others eyes and smiled. And she was off. I hadn't felt, or allowed myself to feel like this since I was 17. Just blind, stupid, love. The kind that you know is just going to get your heart broken.

We met again. She wanted to see a particular movie and we were going on opening day. I bought tickets for a late afternoon show. I cooked for her and she was happy. We laid in bed and talked about the possibilities of the future. Our bodies coming together was amazing. We told each other that we couldn't imagine our lives without each other. It was the perfect day. I didn't know that when she left, it would be the last time I'd see her.

The original plan was for me to date and if it was meant to be, it would. Which is my general life philosophy. But with her, I was consumed. Much like that 17 year old me, I could think of nothing else but this girl that I was so in love with. It got to the point that I was annoyed by myself. Things weren't moving along as quickly as I wanted to on her end, and I became depressed. Realistically, I knew they weren't going to, but I was sad because I wanted to be with this girl that I loved so much and couldn't. Anytime some life event happened, I had no idea about it until days later. I knew she was an adult that could take care of herself, but all I wanted to do was be there for her. When she needed someone to be there, it should have been me and not the loser boyfriend who could care less.

I told her I needed to back off a bit. That this was no good for either one of us. That we should remain friends for the moment. She told me she agreed but she was still trying to figure out how to rearrange her life so we could be together, but that it would take time. I told her I wasn't going to wait, I would just hope the timing was right. Really, I was going to wait. Things went back to normal.

Instead of being so intense, I was relaxed and happy again. She felt less intense and less pressured. I didn't mean to pressure her and told her she shouldn't be, but she was concerned about me.

Then she stopped talking to me. When she didn't talk to me for a few days, I was ok with it. Used to it. When it turned into a week, and I saw her pop on msgr at times and not say anything, and post on the message board, I knew something was wrong. She was pulling away.

I sent her a message and told her how I felt and that I was separating myself from the situation. If she was going to start ignoring me, I was going to avoid her from the places I'd see her most. It was torture knowing she was online and not talking to me, for whatever the reason. My sadness was turning to anger, eating at me. Her response only served to infuriate me. She broke up with the boyfriend and claimed to not be able to give me what I wanted.

I could get into her reasons why. I could get into, what I think, are the real reasons. But no matter what the reasons are, either true, or false, or false to just herself, the conclusion is that she's there, and I'm here. That a girl that I felt I was meant to be with, and has claimed the same feeling, felt that I was meant to walk away instead. And I did. And I'm not sure that I can give anyone that again. Love is just too fucking exhausting.

2010-06-10T08:02:00.001-07:00

Interviews from Go Go Curry finals...

Historical humor...

2010-04-24T15:03:00.000-07:00

This is one of the most clever things I've seen. Really funny shit...

An article on how NOT to date.

2010-03-06T07:35:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love about twitter (see sidebar for my twitter updates) is that you can mention something and a twitter blog relating to the subject of a single word will start "following" you. I put the word "following" in quotations because they're really not following you, they're manipulating the system to advertise themselves to get you to follow them. It's not a bad tactic when you might actually be interested in the subject and the account is not TOTAL spam.

So anyway, I was up late last night trolling the dating websites I used and made mention of it. Sure enough, two twitter accounts "followed" me. The first one was this guy...

I mean really? This is the guy that's going to get you a date? He might want to try clipping off the ends of that ten year old haircut first.

Anyway, I contradict myself because I'm no gorgeous god, by any stretch of the imagination and I do alright for myself. And I'm going to tell you how, because the next twitter that added me actually had some "helpful" tips on how to successfully date. There go those quotations again.

To begin with, the second account that added me, offering those "helpful" tips had this picture....

And the title of this particular twitter is called "How to flirt well". So I clicked a link and learned. Or, actually, I laughed a bit...

Let me preface this by saying, I hate that dating is a game. If you've met someone that you don't have to play games with (which I think I finally met, thankfully) then by all means, completely ignore this. That being said, I've learned a lot in my 15 years of dating but I didn't start playing until about 9 years into it and the year I finally made the change was better for me than all 9 of the other years combined. Now, I will agree with one thing women say about being the nice guy. The guys's that claim they are the nice guy and never win, are usually douchebags. The way I was when I was younger. We're nice, sure, but we're overwhelming. We don't give the girl a chance to breathe (I had a brush with this recently, quite by accident and it was a scary moment to see my old self creep back in). As the nice guy, yeah, you're nice, but that's all you are. There's usually nothing interesting about you and if there is, you're killing it by either not being aggressive enough or being way too aggressive in the wrong way.

But dating is truly a tango. Let's learn what the How To Flirt Well tiwtter has to teach us.

The article is posted here... It's called "5 Seduction Tips For Men"

If you have problems with the ladies, you're not alone. Most guys don't want to admit it, but they don't always get the girl. Communication is the key to getting and keeping a woman's interest.

Ok, we're starting off well. Kinda... Communication definitely is key, but depending on the situation, you might have to limit it.

A lot of men lack confidence and think they are missing out because they don't look like a celebrity. It's a lot more important to be the best you and not the best somebody else you can be.

We're on a roll. Starting out good, BUT I disagree with the last line. If you're the above mentioned nice guy, it's time to change and be "the best somebody else you can be", the key is to make it your own.

The advice offered here is a way to get you started on the best dating experiences of your life. Any man can get the girl if he has the right approach. These tips will help make you simply irresistible.

Now we're taking a turn. Simply because I read the article already, I know this is not true. The following are all the tips you've read on any other site, that should either be common sense, or you've tried already. You will NOT be irresistible if you follow their tips.

Read the tips and put them into practice.

1. Clean up your act. If you look like a slob, no one will find you attractive. Your hair should be neat, fingernails cleaned and face either clean shaven or with neatly trimmed facial hair. Stubble isn't sexy unless it's on Brad Pitt. Don't sag, wear clothes that fit and look neat and attractive. You want your lady to look good for you. Return the favor.

There is a truth and a non-truth to this. If you're like me, and you're just alright looking and/or fat or any other number of features that might work against you, you might want to at least look alright. Looking good and being well groomed are only somewhat important, depending on the person. There are women that will see someone that's not dressed great and will judge off the bat based on what you're wearing. You will not seduce her ever unless you're GQ all the time. Bail. If you don't dress like it's 1985 and your hair isn't all over the place and your mustache/beard is at least manageable, you'll be fine. However, in the other direction, if you're good looking, you might actually want to go COMPLETELY against this tip. If someone is attracted to the basics of you enough, and you're a slob, you're now a project. You will totally seduce them if the personality is somewhat there because they're going to want to change you and clean you up.

2. If you don't know what good manners are, take an etiquette course. Woman appreciate men who are courteous and respectful. Leave the vulgar language in the locker room with the other guys. Vulgarity is disrespectful and rude. Treat your date like a lady.

I don't know anyone who even knows of an etiquette course without googling it. I've always hated the term "treating a woman like a lady". First of all, let's treat all humans equally regardless of gender, that might be a good place to start. A long time ago we fought for the rights to give women equal rights, and still, we have to treat women differently then men. Polite things, like holding a door, should be universal, not reserved for a woman. But that's a whole other post. Another topic for another post, language. If you're the type of person that curses and is vulgar and tells dirty jokes and the girl isn't, bail. If you do "clean up your act" and wind up with the person, your life will be hell. This is one of the leading causes of the high divorce rate. Men and women settle for each other even though they have different values and curb who they are for the sake of the person they're dating. If you curse, find a girl that curses. If you're one of those people that are offended by language and words, kill yourself. But if you can't find the strength, then find a women who is also on the word police squad. If you can't come together on the words you say, you're doomed from the start.

3. Don't be late or you'll miss the boat. Making a date wait for you is disrespectful. If you have a flat tire, or something else comes up that you couldn't foresee, call your date and let her know why you are late. Ask if she wants to wait or would like set another time for your date.

Yes, if you're going to be late due to an unforeseen occurrence, call and let them know. It's only right. That being said, showing up a little late is advisable. It's actually a good way to gauge the persons interest. If you're 15 minutes late and the girl is gone, they're not really all that interested.

4. Keep your attention focused on your date. Listen to what she has to say and don't act bored. Remember what she says, there may be a test later. Be prepared to get the conversation started. Any subject that will get her talking is fine. Find out about her interests.

If a woman tests you on what you've been paying attention to, RUN!, as if your life depended on it. My favorite part is that you, as the guy, have to be prepared with conversation. It's like, you have to be the interesting one and the woman you're on the date with is holding you up to that standard, but you don't have to hold her to the same one, lol. Honestly, there's a fine line here. Yes, showing interest is key, but not too much. One of the things I've learned is to not be too interested. The biggest tip I can give about dating is this.... Show you're interested at first. Flirt on your first conversation, including a subtle flirt at sexual attraction. When you're on the actual date, act as if you're going out with a friend. Granted, depending on the person, you don't want to act as if you're hanging with the guys, but the key to a successful date is actually showing a sort-of lack of interest. The woman you're on the date with will wonder why you're not making a move, because THAT is what they're used to. If you want to stand out from the pack, be the guy that doesn't want anything from her. It will keep her guessing and interested. You can tweak this as you go along and flirt to match the output. But by not expecting sex on the first date, it might actually get you there (if that's what you're looking for).
Additionally, when it comes time to talk about dating and who you're seeing, it's perfectly fine to tell a woman that you're seeing other people and it might actually help your cause. Women want to know you have options and that you're making time for them to be an option. They want to be the option that wins.

5. The best way to make yourself irresistible, is to make her feel irresistible. Let her know how attractive you find her. Compliment her on her good taste, her intelligence, her grace. Avoid any overtly sexual remarks, as they may make her uncomfortable and will certainly sound self serving on your part. If you pressure your date, you won't see her again.

This is sort of a follow-up on what I said in the last tip. But again, NO! don't make her feel irresistible. Do the complete opposite. Guys are ALWAYS making her feel irresistible. The key to any relationship is a little bit of insecurity. Guys are always all over girls. You want to be different.
BUT, there are other situations when the other way works too. If a girl is REALLY attracted to you and she shows it, it's time to go the complete other way and make it totally about sex. That is, if that's all your looking for.

A bit of advice for women too here. Be honest with yourself and your date. If you're looking to get laid, go for it. If a man is going to judge you by a different set of standards than he is for himself, then he's not the guy for you. Women get labeled as sluts in our society and it's a stupid double standard. There are whores on both sides of the gender line. That being said, if you honestly like someone that they are a potential mate, just tell them. Again, a guy that is scared off by this, is NOT worth your time. Guys want relationships just as badly as women, but when we make that clear YOU'RE the ones that get scared away. And seriously, don't sleep with him on the first date unless it really is magic and not just your hormones getting in the way. If you hold off, it will give the guy a chance to get to know you while he's trying to hit it ;)

Best places to get free dating tips for men are:

1. ForeverLaid.com

Classy!

Two new videos for ya....

2010-02-09T04:55:00.000-08:00

One of my 2 appearances on MTV's Silent Library...

And a competitive eating rap I posted...

Dating and the competitve eater...

2010-01-31T20:33:00.000-08:00

Now that I'm single again, it's time to start dating.

I posted this on a dating website I'm a member of and thought I'd share...

I've met some women that found what I do interesting. Some are a little grossed out, and I can understand that.

My journey in competitive eating started back in 2005 when I won a local contest and then another. 2 years in row. In 2007, I did a weight-loss reality show and between that and continuing at home, I lost about 120 lbs. (I've since put back a few, but nowhere near the whole thing). The next year I briefly went pro and now, I do my own thing. I found that the weight loss actually helped me get better. (Skinner people typically are better competitive eaters, not the other way around as the stereotype of the fat guy might make you think)

Competitive eating is comprised of two types of events. The contest, which you might know from watching the Nathan's Hot Dog contest on ESPN. (Before you ask, no, I've never done it and "that little Japanese guy" hasn't won it in a few years, lol) And the challenge. Which you would commonly know from watching the show "Man Vs. Food". If you go to X restaurant and eat Y food in Z amount of minutes, it's free and your picture goes on the wall. Sometimes there's a prize for that as well.

If we date, what would you have to deal with?
Well, I travel sometimes, but it's not that bad. I've been to San Diego, North Carolina, Detroit and local. So you'd have to deal with the odd weekend I wouldn't be around. I'm also filming something for TV at least once a year. So you have to deal with my mediocre quest for fame.

It's called Competitive eating for a reason, so you will have to deal with my competitive nature. I bang the trivia machine when I get a question wrong. I yell at the screen when I'm playing Madden. Even though I'm a realist, I often day dream that I'll be better at a particular thing or activity than I really will be.

Spontaneous contests. Sometimes you don't know about one until the day before. If I'm committed to something, then I'm committed, but I will try to work around it if possible. Ideally, you'd be my biggest fan and want to come, but I would be understanding if you're not into it, as long as you're also not trying convince me out of it. I understand the risks.

You also have to know the difference in how the mind works. If you get to know me, you will find out that I'm at the end of a binge eating disorder. I've just about conquered it. But what needs to be understood about competitive eating is that it's a totally separate activity. Binge eating is about emotions. It's about turning to food for comfort. For the most part, I'm no longer doing this and am back to losing weight. But competitive eating is somewhat "sport". I'm not saying that we do the same thing that Kobe or Lebron or Favre is doing but it something that is conditioned by the mind and the body. It's completely about competition and for the community of people that comes with it (although there are a few lunatics :)

So ladies. If we go out on a date. I'm not going to try and eat my dinner as fast as I can to impress you. I'm not a slob that's going to drop food all over myself. I'm not unconcerned with my health and go to the gym several times a week. What I am, is a guy that's just trying to live my life. Are you in for the ride?

I need help with some creative stunts.

2010-01-07T14:26:00.000-08:00

So recently I responded to a casting call, not knowing what it was, that asked what you could do in 90 seconds. I sent the a video of me doing the Ottomanelli's burger challenge, which was a 2 pound burger. I timed it out for how long it took me to do the burger by itself and it came out to about 90 seconds. Turns out they were interested. I wasn't sure of anything related to the filming or the schedule, so I was unsure on how to answer, the only thing I knew was that this was a big show with a lot of potential. They told me that auditions had been completed but that they wanted to use my tape as an audition because they liked it so much. The tape was passed on and the executives liked it enough to use it as the official audition.

So my problem. If I wind up being selected, this is a show that will involve being in different stages. The first stage, will involve me replicating my initial stunt in the video, devouring the burger in under 90 seconds. That will be the easy part. If I'm selected, I would have to come up with something else. Watching a guy eating things really fast is just going to get boring.

My first idea involves pizza. I know from the Rocco's challenge, I can do a 16 inch pie in about 2 mins or so. I was thinking that I could do a challenge where I would eat a pie quicker than one can be made. So I asked Joe, the head honcho at Rocco's how long it takes to spin a pizza and to sauce and cheese it, ready for the oven. He says he can do it in under a minute. So that means I would have to attempt to eat 1 pie quicker than he can make 2. I don't know if that's as impressive looking.

So now I search for ideas. What competitive eating type stunt could I do, that isn't the same old boring thing? Something that would get a crowd interested and rooting for me to beat the clock?

My top 10 favorite movies of the decade - 2000-2009

2009-12-26T23:15:00.000-08:00

The following list is my favorite movies of the last 10 years. They might not be the best movies to you, but they're the films I've enjoyed the most this decade.

1. Love Me If You Dare (Jeux d'enfants)

2. Antwone Fisher

3. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

4. Kill Bill Vol. 1 & 2

5. Snatch

6. Star Trek

7. 8 Mile

8. Dawn Of The Dead

9. Saw

10. V For Vendetta

RADIO SHACK RIPS PEOPLE OFF

2009-12-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

To whom it may concern,

Here is how you lose a customer for life. Fool him twice.

When we last spoke, one of your sales reps at the Manhattan location of W. 23rd St. & 7th Ave, sold me a flash card that was listed on the rack at $35 and told me it was on sale for $25 when in fact the receipt revealed that it $15 with a $10 warranty. It was so smooth, that I told you I wasn't even mad, but that I found it kind of amusing. When you contacted me back, you offered me my $10 back. I even declined, telling you that I've been a faithful customer and would not let one little snafu drive me away. I told you that I don't care about the $10, I just wanted you to know that this was happening. You promised me this wasn't the way you practiced sales and I took you for your word.

Shame on me.

During my latest unforgiving adventure in Christmas shopping, I decided to buy my mom an 8GB iPod Touch for the holidays. I went to your 42nd St. & Madison Ave location. So close to work, so convenient. Best Buy was down the block, but I said "screw it, lets use my Radio Shack card and rack up some more debt! They'll take my money!". I entered the store and said "One iPod Touch please!". To which the sales rep was more than happy to get for me. He informed me of something grand as he went to get it. "Sir, since you're purchasing an iPod Touch, you can get this cheap plastic case valued at $25 for only $5." I thought "Wow! That's a steal! I'll take it!". And take it I did, home to wrap for mom for Christmas. Having not learned my lesson, I never looked at the receipt. Then, today, as I went through the various receipts in my wallet, I looked over my Radio Shack receipt to see the return policy for "just in case". Well wouldn't you know it, I wasn't supposed to get a $25 case for $5 after all. I was supposed to receive a $20 Radio Shack gift card. The most interesting thing about it is that the receipt CLEARLY states "Must Have $20 RadioShack Gift Card on same sales ticket as iPod Touch.".There is no gift card to be found the said receipt.

When I spoke to the DM from the previous complaint, she seemed genuine in her stance that this was not common practice. She went out of her way to email me back and even call. I'd like to even say I believe that she was being genuine and these were greedy store managers trying to make more sales for their store. But seriously? 2 locations doing almost the same exact stunt. I must be wearing a sign on my head that I can't see that says "World Class Moron".

I have filed a complaint with the Department Of Consumer Affairs this time. I'm not as amused as I was after the first incident. I'm honestly furious. This letter will also be going to The Consumerist, who is quite aware of what these sales reps do and will not hesitate to make this story front page news, as well as my blog.

The biggest thing you could possibly do to offend me is offer me the $20 gift card. Unless you plan on paying for the iPod itself, I'm not interested.

Thank you for your time,

William Millender

My top 10 movies of 2009 (amended)

2009-12-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

Wow, 2009 was not the best year for movies ever. My top 5 is strong, but after reviewing all the movies I've seen in 2009, it was a struggle to pick movies after that. This is list is pretty much Top 5 movies of the year and 5 others that were "just a bit better than ok". Half of the top 10 are genres that I don't usually favor to begin with.
Let's take it from the top...

1. Star Trek

This was the clear cut winner of the year. I'm not a trekie. I'm not much of a sci-fi fan. Interesting that my top 2 are sci-fi movies. Star Trek 2009 version had me and my girlfriend crying from the first sequence. The story was great and easy to get into for someone with a limited Trek knowledge. The effects were great. The Abrams direction was cool too but that weird sparkle light effect that he loves can be annoying. Otherwise, this felt like a perfect film and I'm looking forward to the next one, should it be made.

2. Pontypool

Pontypool was not originally on this list. While reviewing the movies that were released in 2009, Pontypool was not on the list. That was because this film was only released in Canada. And what a shame. One of the biggest disappointments for me is the watering down of the zombie movie. I used to love them but now there is a new one everyday and they're all the same. Pontypool isn't necessarily a zombie movie the same was 28 Days Later wasn't. The victims are not the undead, they're infected with a virus. The amazing thing about it is that the infected are barely in the movie. The entire movie is about a radio host that is getting reports of the infection. We hear what's going on and deal with the fear of not really knowing what's going on. I'll save what the cause of the infection is because it's both confusing and interesting at the same time. I purposefully avoid information on most movies I really want to see because I don't want to know what to expect and I suggest you rent this in the same frame of mind.

3. District 9

I wasn't sure what to expect from District 9. I knew it was an allegory for apartheid using Aliens. But that was about it. The posters and trailers didn't give to much away, which I'm thankful for. The story was mostly well done (a few cliches but nothing distracting). There were some great action/chase/shootout scenes. I thought I would hate the apartheid comparison, but if you didn't think about it too much, it wasn't a big deal. Honestly, District 9 would have tied Trek for first, but I had 2 main gripes with the film. The first was the directing. From the preview, I knew it was going to be docu-style fiction. I looked forward to a film of this nature using this type of gimmick because it seemed well done and interesting and for the first half it is. We see this world through the eyes of a documentary that's being made and then later on through security feeds. Then it turns into a standard style movie. I though this was a terrible change. I'm not exactly sure how the rest of the movie would have worked had they not changed it, but it could have been done. My second point of contention was the effects. I'd say overall, they were great, but I think the movie should have been released after a little more time was spent on the animation of the aliens. At times, especially during scenes with a large group of characters, they had a copy and paste feeling to them. Like when the honey comb bee is added to a commercial. Otherwise, an excellent film overall.

4. Duplicity

Duplicity is a film I probably wouldn't have rented because the previews come off very romantic-comedy-ish. That I've become a huge Clive Owen fan (since his amazing performance in Sin City) is what forced me to watch. I'm glad I did. Great acting job by some high class actors like Paul Giamatti, Tom Wilkinson, et al. Turns out there are some romantic-comedy elements to the story, but it's not the focus. The focus is a con game, much in the vein of an Ocean's Eleven with a twist ending that you don't quiet expect even though you kinda of know what to expect with this kind of movie.

5. Watchmen

Watchmen should have been a trilogy. It's a huge graphic novel, with a lot of story to tell. The movie, went on way too long. My emotions for watchmen came in 3 cycles. The first time I saw it, it was a cut above ok. I liked it a lot, but was expecting something different. Upon second viewing, I liked it a lot more, almost loved it. I paid more attention to the smaller details. By the third viewing, I was bored. In a perfect world, Watchmen would have filmed the entire graphic novel and then cut it up into 3 two hour movies a la The Matrix, Lord Of The Rings, etc.

6. Monsters Vs. Aliens

This was the second genre that I'm not such a fan of. The animated movie. Being a child of the 80's, I like my cartoons flat and with repeating backgrounds. 3-D animation is not my cup of tea, but I gave M Vs. A a shot and I'm glad I did. It's funny flick with some great voice work from Seth Rogan and company.

7. Up

Up was a strange choice for a kids movie. It's really depressing. Within the first 15 mins or so, the main characters wife dies and the husband becomes a crotchety old man. Not usually a recipe for a great kids movie. The death scene is touching and heartwrenching but the rest of the film is pretty funny. It's a sad, heartwarming story but a must miss of you don't want to cry.

8. Rudo Y Cursi

This is likely the film where you're going, "huh"? I'd read some favorable statements about the film when it was making the indy rounds and remembered the name and gave it a shot. Most familiar about this film is Gael García Bernal who is becoming a star for his earlier foreign films and is now making the transition to Hollywood (which is mixed at best with his last American film being the horrid Blindness). The knock I have on this movie is that you totally see it coming. It's well acted and funny and there is a charm to it, but it's been done before. It's the story of two brothers who get chosen for pro soccer teams and form a rivalry. You can tell the second I say that, that this film will be about how each one will go on different paths and eventually lead into a brother vs. brother finale with one making a sacrifice for the other after learning a lesson. Cliche but it's still fun to watch the performances of Bernal and Diego Luna as his brother.

9. Disney's Earth

Disney's Earth is beautiful. It's the type of stuff that makes you go "how did they get that on camera". This was the most expensive documentary ever made, and it shows. If you're like me, you've heard that the Planet Earth series from the BBC was amazing but you just didn't have the patience to go through five discs of it. From what I'm told, this is the same stuff but re-produced in the style that Disney wanted. It's a fantastic piece of moving art. It is, however, like most other nature documentaries, pretty brutal. It's an unflinching look at how these animals live. All animals are part of a food chain and you see this process right before your eyes. Even understanding this, if you're an animal lover, it may become hard to watch.

10. Paranormal Activity

Paranormal Activity polarized movie audiences. It gained a huge audience and most people fell into the love category, or the hate category. I was one of the few that fell in between. I liked several things about the movie that made it an above average film for me. First of all the horror genre has become diluted to the point of absurdity. I used to love horror movies. Back in the day, even the bad one's were good. Now horror movies are so watered down and cliche that most just wind up sucking. Finally, something new happens with the genre. They pretty much took the mold of the Blair Witch Project (incidentally a film that polarized audiences the same way) and built up a better story. It's something that we haven't seen before. A low budget horror movie, offering something new that doesn't look like your 12 year old could have made it. The two leads were smart and competent despite the lack of acting credit on their resume and the story was actually creepy. I wasn't scared watching Paranormal Activity, but I got the willies. I rather be creeped out than scared. The feeling lasts a lot longer. This is probably a personal preference but I really liked the choice in lead actress a lot. When it comes to women, I tend to be attracted to more unconventionally beautiful women. I think Katie Featherston is very pretty and this enhanced the movie for me because I cared about what happened to her character. Ultimately, it fell flat because there was no real pay-off. The commercials made it seem creepier than it really was and the ending made you jump but also left you unsatisfied. You walked out saying "that's it?". My girlfriend made a perfect comparison. She said, "You know those videos you send to your friends that make you stare at the screen and jump at the end? This was like a movie version of that.".

11. Not Easily Broken*

Another head scratcher. Not Easily Broken is another genre that is not usually on my radar. The spiritual movie. The screenplay is based on a book written by T.D. Jakes. If you know Jakes, you know that he's one of the most well known Pastors out there. Not Easily Broken is the story of a couple that is struggling to stay a float after they get into a car accident that leaves the wife injured. The leads are played by Taraji P. Henson and Morris Chestnut, who are great. Kevin Hart, who plays one of Chestnut's friends, is hysterical. There's not much depth to the story, and is a bit cliche, but still resonates. I think there is something for everyone in a relationship to identify with. While watching I realized that, while T.D. Jakes is a Pastor, his stories aren't overwrought with the spiritual angle. The other novel he's written that was turned into a movie is called Woman Thou Art Loosed, which I also enjoyed. The church and the lord are there, but the film isn't bogged down by it. His stories are more about the flaws that people have and the struggle that we have to overcome them. If people want to think that God helps, who am I to judge?

*Was originally number 10 before I added Pontypool

I'm in the trailer of Silent Library Season (fixed)

2009-12-15T11:02:00.001-08:00

Things keep rolling...

2009-12-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

It's been almost 2 months since a contest. I miss the roar of the crowd. The last contest was the dumpling eating contest that I choked in. In the meantime, a new job and TV has kept me company.

The National Geographic special Humanly Impossible finally aired. It's currently in re-runs if you search your DV-R or Tivo. I thought the segment was interesting but I was sort of disappointed in it. First of all I was really surprised they only interviewed the doctors and not us. Upon viewing, it was even more surprising that they interviewed people that were in other segments. Perhaps they thought that there was already a lot there to begin with that they didn't need interviews. I guess we'll never know.
The other interesting thing to note was they they hooked us up with electrodes and made a point to show them hooking me up, but then didn't use any of the data. During the filming, the producers gave us some fascinating stuff. They looked at our heart rate. They told me I maintained a consistent heart rate but Pete's (my competitor) shot up. They looked at how we chewed. The data showed that Pete barely chewed and swallowed a lot and that I chewed a lot. I told them about our polarized eating disorders. Pete had anorexia early in his life and I've dealt with a binge eating disorder. None of it was used.
The last surprising thing they didn't show was that early on Pete bit his finger really hard to the point that there was a lot of blood. I was actually really surprised that they told the results. I was able to beat Pete in a 5 minute contest. This was pretty exciting on the day of the shoot, but I also realized that a) the finger bite probably altered his performance and b) since it was shoot and not a sanctioned contest, he might not have put 100% effort into it. I would love to have another 5 minutes with him to see what happens.
The burgers were also rock solid from being under a heat lamp, so I know if they were fresh, our numbers would have been a bit higher.
They also decided somewhere along the line to call me "Willy 'The Champ' Millender". I hate the name Willy to begin with but it's terrible for branding because if people (specifically casting people) search that, they won't find me. Ugh.

Aside from Nat Geo, I also nabbed a role on MTV's Silent Library. Here's an example of what the show is about...

It's a really silly show based of an even sillier Japanese version. I'm not a contestant, I'll be playing a role like the Frenchman in the video, but a much different skit. The shoot itself was a lot of fun. I met a bunch of interesting people including a professional pool player and some actors. They signed me up for 2 episodes (most people only got 1). The first one was great and the producers told me that mine was one of the best but the second episode is going to be bananas. It's an all girl episode and one of the other skits (which I could have chosen but was so ridiculous that I refused) is so heinous and funny that I'm not even mad it was so much better than mine, lol. It was just a great experience and I hope I get to work with those guys again.
Even though I wasn't technically playing anyone, it was my first TV experience where I wasn't being Will. I was "walk-on extra", which in the acting world ain't shit, but I'm looking forward to being able to do more of these types of gigs as they become available.

I also submitted one of my eating videos for another casting call that didn't announce who they were in the listing. I won't say what show it is right now, but it's potentially huge. They were really interested but I won't know anything for a few months.

As for work, I started my new position and things are going great. The job is relatively easy. The environment is really casual and laid back and my co-workers have been great thus far. I love my supervisor to death and look forward to the coming year. It's finally nice to be self sufficient. It's been a long time coming.

ThisIsWhyYourefat.com Eat N Tweet Challenge...

2009-10-29T17:54:00.001-07:00

This Is Why You're Fat is a weird little website. It posts pictures of the most ridiculous and most fattening foods. Here's an example...

This monstrosity is the Banana Peanut Butter Cup And Marshmallow Grilled Sandwich. Looks scrumptious.

Well, for the next two weeks, I've got little to do since I'm waiting for the new job to begin. When I saw the Eat N Tweet challenge, I knew I wanted in. In essence, it was a food scavenger hunt with 6 mobile food cart vendors participating. Each vendor cooked up their own TIWYF inspired item. The mission was to keep your eye on twitter, starting at 11AM, every 20 minutes and wait for a location to be announced and the first person to tweet pictures eating each item would win a free party for 25 people catered by the food cart of your choice. I wasn't sure how many people would participate and what mode of transportation would they be using. You could bike, go by car, take a taxi. None of which I had or could afford to do. My method of transportation would be hoofing it on foot and, if needed, using the subway.

I figured the best way to get an edge on the competition was to do some prep before the contest. I test tweeted pictures to make sure I properly imputed the information they needed. I followed each vendor on twitter and went to each website, looking at their schedule. I mapped out each probable location and wrote their phone numbers down if needed. I then had to make the best guess on where to start since I would be starting blind. I tweeted to one of the vendors and asked if they were going to be the start point and they tweeted back and that they would be the second stop. This was a good clue, but still had no idea where to start. When I looked at the list of vendors, they were second on the list so naturally my first instinct was that the first place would be the first vendor, which would be located on 38th St & 5th Ave., so I went there and was going to wait for the start time. I got there at about 10:30 but there was no cart in sight. I looked at their schedule and also called their number and they both said they wouldn't be there til 12PM. I thought that perhaps they would arrive at 11 for the contestants and then open for the public at lunch time. Then I looked at the listing and noticed one was a waffle stand and thought that perhaps they would be the first place since they were the first to open (8AM) and they were a breakfast type food. So I took a chance and walked really fast over to their location at 45th St. & 6th Ave. Turns out I was right. At that point I met the contest organizers Kiwa And Susan. Two lovely young ladies that were meeting us at each point to take pictures and make sure everything went smoothly. But also there was my first indication of a challenger. A man and woman team that were biking.

The vendor at this location was Wafels And Dinges.

http://www.wafelsanddinges.com/

Their item : Double Liege Wafel Ice Cream Sandwich with smashed speculoos cookies & whipped cream.

I figured that the couple had the edge with bikes and I felt the possibility of defeat but I took a bite of the waffle, threw out the rest and trudged on. I figured that I knew the second location already and could try to figure out the next one and stay one step ahead of them.

So I hit the R train to get to Cupcake Stop located on 23rd St. & 5th Ave.

http://www.cupcakestop.com/

Their item : Cinnamon Roll Cupcake - Hands Down, one of the best cupcakes I've ever had.

When I got there, there was a camera crew waiting and doing interviews for a project for Columbia University. Naturally, they loved the competitive eating angle and wanted to interview me. I asked for help from the vendor but they didn't have any ideal of the next location. I also asked them if the bike couple had hit the spot yet. Not only did they already get there, but they said they came an hour ago. which would have meant they were there around 10:30. I was furious. Not only did they already have an edge over me with the bikes, but they were getting it done way in advance?

I looked at my list and the next closest location was right up the block on 17th St. & 5th Ave. I figured that it was right there and if I was right then I scored and if not, it's not like I journeyed far away from the previous spot. It turned out I was right. I asked them if they were next and they said they were but wouldn't serve until 11:40 which was the tweet time, but they cooked it up for me.

Bistro Truck

http://bistrotruck.com/

Their item : Big Mouth Bistro Burger - Fried Onions, Fried Sunny Side Up Egg, Garlic Mushrooms, Fried Mortadell, 2 Cheese Burgers, Lettuce, Tomatoes And Bistro Sauce

This one was my runaway favorite. Which is interesting since I'm more of a sweets guy. The combination of onions, perfectly cooked burger, runny eggs and everything else was overpoweringly good. This was the one I wished I would have finished out of all them but didn't want to consume all the calories. I was actually using this as exercise, so the least I had to eat, the better.
The good news about this location was that I beat the bike couple. The vendor told me they had already tried to get the burger but the truck denied them. The bad news that more competition was starting to come. A kid named Nick stepped into play.

I got my burger first and high tailed it out of there, pondering which location to hit next. It was about to be 12pm, so I took a chance and hopped back on the N train and went back to my starting location. I checked my phone and I was wrong. The next location was tweeted. At this point, I said "screw it". If the bike couple was not only going to start earlier than they were supposed to but also go out of order, so would I.

I hit Treats Truck next on 38th St & 5th Ave

http://www.treatstruck.com/

Their item : Super Duper Dessert Nacho's

This was my least favorite. Which, again, is odd because of my love of sweets. I think at this point I was suffering from flavor overload. The bike couple was just leaving as I got there. 2 other guys were ordering them but were nice enough to let me have their order instead of waiting. I took my bite and walked east toward 53rd St. & Park Ave.
I took the 6 train 1 stop and got to Cravings Truck

http://www.nyccravings.com/

Their item : Deep Fried Dumplings and Pork with White Rice

The line was long. I became crestfallen. I went to the back of the truck and told them I was there for the challenge and asked if I had to wait on line and the guy said yes and I got on line. I waited for about 5 minutes or so and the guy was nice enough to come out the side of the truck and hand me the bag. I took my bite and walked as fast as I possibly could to get to the train station on 49th St. & 7th Ave.

At this point, I figured that I had lost. The bike couple had to have gotten to the last location, my only hope was that the extra staff at the last vendor, Van Leeuwen Artisan , had not arrived yet. This was the wild card. The last vendor had several trucks and the girl at the truck, which was located within very close proximity to the cupcake and bistro trucks, had no clue about the challenge. My only hope was that this threw off bike couple but turned out to be the right place. They also had tweeted previously that they would be at the 23rd St. location even though their website said differently.

I got to the train station and JUST MISSED the R train, which would have taken me back to 23rd St. & 5th Ave. About 5 minutes later, the W train came.

I arrived at the last truck Van Leeuwen Artisan

http://www.vanleeuwenicecream.com/

Their item : Decadent Michel Cluizel Brownie Sundae

I didn't have any of this so I don't know how good it was. A girl that was just starting was nice enough to let me take a picture with hers.

I didn't see bike couple when I got there. What I did see was Nick, sitting on his Vespa and the two organizers. Nick had beaten us all. I had he wouldn't be a factor because I assumed that he was on foot as well. What was most disheartening was that I asked him how long he had been there, he said about 10 minutes. I had just missed out on winning. I inquired about bike couple and no one knew what happened to them.
Nick left and I spoke to Susan and Kiwa for a bit and we left.
If anything, I was happy that if I didn't win, at least bike couple didn't win either. I took second place as a badge of honor that I not only beat people on bikes but came > < this close to beating a someone on a motor scooter.

The bike couple are bitching on twitter that they were robbed and actually telling TIWYF about how they hit everything early, lol. Sorry guys, but you got beat by a fat guy on foot :)

Lastly, here's a nice write up by Kiwa and Susan that made me smile with a few more pictures...

http://suite2046.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/tiwyf-eat-n-tweet-a-sweet-success/

Fierce competition today in the TIWYF Eat N’ Tweet Food Truck Challenge! Nick McGlynn won after coming armed with a Vespa, GPS and of course, Twitter. Another motivated couple were biking their way from truck to truck, not even waiting for the @tiwyf Twitter feed to announce the special or location! But we were probably MOST blown away by competitive eater Will Millender (a.k.a. @bigwillthechamp) who came in SECOND while doing the contest on foot! WOW! Now that’s the competitive spirit. Thanks to everyone who participated in the challenge — and remember, even though the winner has been announced, the TIWYF Specials are available all day long until selling out!

Thanks again to the six incredible food trucks who rocked it today with their heartstoppingly delicious delights! Also, a big shout out to Kayoko of UMAMIMART and Zach of Midtown Lunch for their awesome coverage and support!

Meltdown At Roosevelt Park...

2009-10-24T19:13:00.001-07:00

Traditionally, as August rears it's head, the Dragon Boat Festival comes to Queens, as does the Chef One Dumpling Eating Contest, which takes place at the festival. This is the contest, for independent eaters, which starts the winding down of the "season", as competitive eating is more often a summer event. I was informed by Kevin Li, who works at Chef One and helps organize the contest that the it would not be held in August, but instead, moved to October. Also, since it did not coincide with the Dragon Boat Festival, it would be held in Manhattan and they would host their own Dumpling Festival. I was pretty excited to hear that and waited for the sign up date to arrive. And waited...

Last year, as I was completing my first "full season" which included traveling to other states and briefly joining an organization, I entered the Dumpling contest for the first time. I did 55 dumplings in 2 minutes in the first heat, which came awfully close to last years record of 60 Dumplings set by my CE arch nemesis "Gentleman" Joe Manchetti. He took the stage for the second heat, after not expecting me to put up that good of a number, and stepped up his game hitting the 66 dumpling mark. I took second place and the $500 prize which included beating a highly ranked competitor, awesome eater and heck of a nice guy, Ian "The Invader Hickman".

Finally I did a search and found the sign up info for The Dumpling contest which would take place in Sara D. Roosevelt Park. I signed up immediately before it was even announced on eatfeats.com. Coming into this contest, I was confident. Expected to arrive was Manchetti, Furious Pete Czerwinski who was currently the only undefeated competitive eater in sanctioned contests and Dale Boone who has been talked about previously on this blog and was a no show. These guys were my biggest competition.

Also at the contest and whom could have easily been dark horses were Gabe "The Big Jewish Guy" Kassel who won a pickle eating title with All Pro Eating. Phil "The Fury" Fiore who also upset Ian in a 15 minute cheese steak eating contest in Maryland. A guy known only by the name of Sunshine (once again I forgot to ask for his name) who got an upset win over me at the Choo Choo's Hamburger Eating contest (A restaurant which has since been sold and may not hold the contest anymore) and Paul Porkslap Acaria who finally got another win under his belt by nabbing a Taco eating title. A few repeat competitors from previous Dumpling contests showed up including Chris "Infinity" Yee.

The women's division standouts included Floria Lee who was coming to defend her title, Jill Stoller who was 3rd last year and a close friend who had to be convinced to join (because the dumplings were chicken and she is a vegetarian) since they had only 4 contestants at the time and were desperate for women and Elise Rosenberg who placed 2nd in the Coney Island Atomic Wings contest and who I met at the hot dog/pigs in a blanket eating contest at the Village Pourhouse.

There were 2 women's heats. The winner of the first women's heat was a nice woman who really wanted to win. I believe she did 17. The second round heat featured all the aforementioned ladies. Jill took the same spot of 3rd that she did last year. In a stunning upset, Floria Lee took second place with 33 Dumplings while an unknown named Olia, who was competing for her first time ever and killed 40.

There were also 4 men's heats. A large group of men had signed up and so they expanded the division. I was set to be in the final heat, while Furious Pete took the stage for the first heat. Pete recently made a practice run with what he though would be equivalent sized tortellinis. They looked like they were more about the size of between a third and half the size of the contest dumplings. In that run he ate 89 in 1 minute. If they were half the size, then we knew he'd probably be good for at least 40 in the first minute which would have given him 80 for the contest. While we waited, Manchetti told me about a practice run he had using the contest dumplings and was able to eat about 40 in the first minute. Although he microwaved them which meant they were not necessarily going to be contest ready. He said at one point they became tough to eat. This became an omen because Pete came off the stage and while he was the winner of the heat, he only ate 52, which was shocking at that point. Well short of last years numbers. As he and Paul came off the stage, they told us that they were tough to eat this year because they were whole wheat. I tried a bite of one to get a preview for my heat, but to me, they tasted about the same. Manchetti and myself were delighted at Pete's performance thinking that this contest was either for him or me to lose. The next heat's winner turned out to be one of those dark horses in "Sunshine" who ate 49.

The last round was the grudge match. Myself vs. Manchetti. For me, this was going to be redemption for all my loses to Manchetti and pull off another upset by beating Pete in the same contest. Side by side we stood on stage both feeling good about the fight we were about to go through, filled with energy and fortitude. The introductions were done and finally the countdown. The horn went off and away we went. I grabbed my dumplings at a fierce pace while I noticed that Manchetti stumbled and dropped a dumpling out of the gate. Upon seeing the video I was doing about 1 per second. I had 14 dumplings down in 15 seconds. And then it happened. I found out, in the hardest way possible, what Pete and Paul and Manchetti told me about. Since I had eaten all 14 so fast, they waded up in my throat. I couldn't swallow anything because it was like I had a giant ball of paste in my mouth and throat. I had soaked them in water but that didn't matter. I desperately grabbed a bottle of water trying to moisten the glob and help it go down, but it did nothing but float atop the dumpling mass that was now lodged in my throat. I began to not be able to breath and got nervous because I felt the dumpling heading toward the tube that leads to the lungs and I began to hyperventilate. It only took me a moment to realize that I had to get this out and there was no way that I was going to be able to swallow. I accepted my defeat, to the chagrin of the crowd, and released the wad of dumplings from my mouth. I was livid. I could not believe it because the previous year they were so easy to eat, sliding down the throat with little effort. Later I found that several people choked but since there weren't 14 dumplings in their mouths at one time, they were able to fight through, lol.

In the end Manchetti struggled too, at one point turning beet red because of the difficulty of swallowing these things and was only able to pull out just enough to give Pete his first official loss with 53, falling well short of the record. We can all only hope that next year will go back to regular style dumplings and I can only wonder what my number would have been had I not choked.

Afterward, myself, my girlfriend, Pete, Paul and Jill went for drinks and lunch and drowned our sorrows. Hopefully next year, as the economy improves, there will be more contests happening as this year's season was a lot more anemic than previous years.

Speaking of economy, I am glad to announce that as my stint with 3-1-1 ends, I have accepted a full time position and will be employed within the next month. I've got decent pay, good benefits and great perks including no weekend and holiday work and lots of days off throughout the year. I had waited over a month to hear about the job and my patience paid off as this was really the only interview that I had where I REALLY wanted the job. I had a few jobs show interest including another company which offered me a job on the same day, but I was holding out hope that this company would be the one because of how well the interview went, the work environment and people which seems to be exactly what I was looking for in a place of employment.

Additionally, I will be featured on shows on The National Geographic Channel and MTV soon, which I'm really excited about as well. Things are finally going to be ok. Today's loss was disappointing but I settled down quickly because the future is finally becoming everything I hoped it'd be.

Will work for food... (Wait, don't I already do that:?)

2009-09-30T10:33:00.000-07:00

First of all, I had a very ironic loss lately. Well about a year ago, I lost my grandfather to cancer. After he passed and my lizard Lohan died, I decided I wanted a hamster. I went to the pet shop with Jessica and picked out a teddy bear hamster and I named him Alan after my grandpa. About two weeks ago, I changed Alan's bedding and gave fresh food and water and nothing seemed to be wrong with him. About a week later I picked him up out of the aquarium that I kept him in and petted him and noticed something weird. A gigantic growth had appeared on the side of his head. It was about the size of a silver dollar but much thicker. Almost the size of it's own head. I felt really horrible because little Alan looked like a mutant. I took him to the vet that night that was in the neighborhood and he said it was either an infection or abscess or it could be cancer. The only way they would know for sure was to do a test. The test cost $200. If it was cancer, the operation for such a thing would be another $400. This was something I could not afford. There was no guarantee that it wouldn't come back even if we went though all that. So I got the anti-botics and tried them because if it was only an infection then the anti-biotics would work. They gave me a needlel-ess syringe and I had to give it to him twice a day. The doctor gave him a shot and I left the office. I gave him the meds the next day and you could tell he hated it. I shot the syringe in his mouth and put him down and he was twitching like when you have an awful taste in your mouth and can't get it out and your head twitches. The vet said if it was going to work, it would be within a couple of days. That was Monday. By Friday I didn't see any change. It looked worse and the poor thing was so uncomfortable he was biting at it and pushing it which was stretching his eye socket because it was partially attached to his eye. I wasn't going to let him stay like that and I couldn't afford the treatment, so we had to put him down (a term I hate, but the alternatives seem wrong too). So the hamster I named after my grandfather who died of cancer now had to be put down because of cancer. :( Jessica went with me to the vet and I handed him off to the girl that works there. Apparently I'm pretty good with accepting death. It made me cry and I was sad but Jessica seemed to take it harder than me because she felt bad for him.

Things have been shitty all around though. Me and Jessica have been arguing a lot over stupid shit, mostly because of the stress that we hate our employment situations at the moment. As most of you know, I had a really great interview with a company called Madison Performance Group. The people that interviewed me, which would have been my supervisors, were really nice and personable. The job itself didn't seem very difficult. The environment was very casual and the pay range and benefits were good for me. Everything went perfect. And then the assessment test happened. They use an online assessment to gain an insight into prospective employees. Which is fine, but it's flawed because you can't change anything once you've made an answer. I didn't realize this at one point. There was an audio portion which you had to listen to the audio, take notes and answer the question. The screen had a part that flashed "please answer the question after you hear the audio" and there was a next button. I guess I didn't pay attention and clicked next. Well the audio was supposed to play on that page and then you were supposed to hit next. I did that twice. There was also a multi-tasking portion in which you were supposed to answer fake emails on one side and trivia style questions on the other. The system said "you probably won't finish all the questions. With about half the time left, the emails stopped coming and I finished all the questions. I figured, well damn, I was so fast that I must have aced it. But then I got an pop-up that stated that I need to be answering both sides. I'm like, "wtf?". So I just finished up the questions and emailed the guy that was supposed to review and told him about my mistake and the possible glitch I encountered and was told "don't worry, we got everything fine, we'll be in touch in a few days". After not hearing anything for a week I emailed again and was told "You're the lead candidate for the position but we've got to interview some people and we'll be in touch in a few days". Three weeks later, nothing, so I've chalked it up to a fail. The shitty part it was the only position I applied to or interviewed for that I was excited about. The job listings since then have also be crappy and I have less than a month to find a new one. And if that doesn't happen, depression city. I'll have to wait til January before I have to make a decision of accepting a job I really don't want and go back to school.

In the competitive eating world, I took a trip to Michigan to enter a hot dog eating contest. The prize was a value of $1000 package of 4 Detroit Pistons tickets with parking and dinner. Joel felt confident that he could sell the package for a decent price so we made this our second trip. Getting there was cool. It seemed to go easier than the NC trip. Less stressful, more efficient, even though it took the same amount of travel time. We went to the contest at Hillers, who were doing their first event, and then checked into our hotel which was within walking distance. To supplement the prize, they also were donating $1000 to a charity of your choice. Second and third were just donations to the charity of your choice in the Michigan area. Joel chose MS of Michigan because of his girlfriend and I chose Covenant House of Michigan which is a homeless teen/runaway organization. When we got there, there only seemed to be one threat, this stocky bald dude with peppers tattooed on his arm. In the end we were right, but I was sort of defeated by the intangibles. First of all there was no loud speaker (I'll get to this in a second). Second of all, the countdown was flawed. For non-CE people, the countdown process is USUALLY a loud countdown to start and end. There wasn't a dedicated MC who was there to pump up the crowd. Thirdly, my headphones worked against me for the first time. Basically what happened was that instead of a countdown, the guy kinda just went "go" out of nowhere. Everyone seemed confused, so I awkwardly hit play on my headphones and went to work. I had a decent pace and saw that the pepper tattoo guy was separating, so I couldn't get a good count on how much he was eating, but I seemed to be ahead by a few HDB's. Then, I was trying to time things out based on song length on my headphones but I had to guess because I couldn't look at the ticker on the MP3 player. Suddenly, the crowd of supporters was cheering loud and people stopped eating and I had to ask someone "was that the end". My pattern is that I go fast, struggle toward the middle and then try to get down as much as possible in the last minute. Between the lack of a loud notice of the time that was left and my headphones being on, I missed the "one minute left" announcement. At the end , I lost by half a hot dog. That one minute notice, as well as no 3,2,1 countdown at the end is what worked against me because I would have had either that last half a piece or even an extra dog for the win.

There's a few contests coming up soon that I can try and make a few bucks and victories.
For now, I wait for a new job and hope things work out...

Speed Demon

2009-09-07T09:35:00.000-07:00

Along the way of this Competitive Eating journey I've been on, I've made a friend in Joel "The Canon" Podelsky. Since the last year that I've become more involved in CE, Joel and myself have gotten closer as buddies and often hang at contests since we're in the same area. The same could be said for Paul "Porkslap" Arcaria, however his schedule is not as flexible as ours and so we don't see him as often. Unfortunately, Jill has been MIA due to the whole Jo Rose fiasco.
At any rate, Joel and I decided that we would expand our horizons and go to some of the bigger contests that were outside of our local area. We'd take a road trip, stay the night and do some challenges along the way. We decided that a little contest in North Carolina would be worth our while. It was a Hot Dog contest and the prize was $1000. We found a nice room in at the Charlotte Omni, which would be about half an hour from the contest location for Troutman, NC and we figured out the expenses, that either the winner would cover (assuming it would be one of us) or, in the case of a loss, we would split. Everything seemed to run smoothly.
And then Dale Boone called... Dale Boone has a reputation in competitive eating. It's not one that you'd want to have. I had never met the man until May at the Rocco's Pizza Eating Contest so I had always given him the benefit of the doubt. I know, first hand, that sometimes people are misunderstood. He didn't really do anything at the Rocco's contest to warrant the reputation but I also knew we weren't going to be good buddies or anything. He placed 3rd at Rocco's with 17 slices, knocking me down to 4th by 1 slice. While he's known for his negative personal reputation, he's done pretty well in contests and is not to be underestimated. I was glad that I hung within just a slice if a 3rd place finish even though I was in the middle of a bad CE streak.
Well, Dale called as a little intimidation tactic and it worked. He told Joel that this was a WLOCE contest (his "organization") and that we were going into his "territory". Kinda funny mentioning territories seeing as how the contest I mentioned that I met him at was in New York. At any rate, we decided to pull out of the contest and cancelled the hotel room because, if it was indeed a WLOCE contest, it would be a conflict of interest with All Pro Eating (Joel's organization) and would end up with him getting kicked out of the org. or some other type of retribution.
I emailed the sponsor since I had been in contact with him and tried to get a refund on our entry fee. Turns out that this was not a sanctioned contest and the sponsor was pissed. Chris Gibson, who owns the Ole World Market apologized profusely and told us that if we were still interested he would like us to come down. He said that Dale would still be in the contest because his entry fee was already accepted, but was excited that someone from as far away as New York was interested in being in the contest. So me and Joel talked it over and decided that the best revenge would just be to win. We found a cheaper hotel that was closer to the event and booked it for two nights so that I could attempt a challenge for $500 the next day.
On the way over, we were tempted into trying a challenge at the Clinton Station Diner. The challenges are hamburgers of varying size with a different prize associated with each one. We had been mulling over doing a 12 pound burger for the $500 prize with Paul as our partner, so our temptation got the best of us. If we could do a 5 pound burger, it would be free. The first problem is, the Clinton Station Diner is notorious for not accurately weighing the burgers correctly and we did not bring a scale with us. The other problem us that they were out of the bun for the 5 pound burger. We asked to speak to the manager and was able to negotiate to do two of the 3 pound burgers which, in theory, would add up to 6 pounds. I was pretty confident we could knock it out in the 30 minute time period. I was wrong, but just barely. The first problem was defiantly the case. These were not 3 pound burgers, they had to be at least 5 pounds a piece. We trudged on anyway. These things were huge. The buns, are like 2 loaves of bread. This was the toughest part for me. Not only were they hard to eat, but they packed on the slices of cheese, and it was terrible cheese. I got down to half of the bottom of the bun and had to tap out. I wasn't too full to finish, it was just that the taste of the cheese was so hard to take that another bite would have made me hurl. Joel got to the bottom bun too, but couldn't finish because the allergies hit him pretty hard. Otherwise he would have cleaned up for both of us because he wasn't full either. We will be back to conquer the larger burger with Paul, but with a scale next time.
We continued our trip to NC and got to the contest the next day. Seeing as how Boone attempted to sabotage us, I wanted nothing to do with him and did everything I could to hold back and keep my mouth shut. I wasn't going to cause a scene and be unprofessional. It seemed to me like he was intent on doing that. The contest was split into two rounds and he was in the first heat and won, as was expected, with 2 minutes and 36 seconds. Once I saw that time, I knew it was a wrap. At the pigs in a blanket contest, where we were given 4 hot dogs, I killed them in under a minute. So I expected to do about a minute and a half to two minutes and only hoped Dale wouldn't come close to that and he hadn't. I did 2 minutes and 10 seconds and won the contest.
There were some shenanigans and smack talk after the contest, which I won't even get into because of how ridiculous it all was. The important part was that I won the contest as planned. I celebrated later that night with a few beers and the UFC pay per view at a local bar and chatted it up with a few locals.
The next day I attempted the 32 inch pizza challenge at Paventi's Pizza. I tried to figure out what the best topping would be in advance and thought about how much the topping would weigh and taste. I thought that Olives would be the best way to go because I enjoy them and it seemed like it would be the lightest ingredient. Again, this was a challenge fail. The pizza itself was great but after tasting the same thing repetitively for a half an hour, I started feeling sick. Again, I wasn't really full, but my body just wanted to reject anymore of the taste that was just not stopping. After getting half way through, I again tapped out of a challenge. If it was a partner challenge like Clinton, me and Joel would have killed it in record time. I would definitely like to try both again in the future.
Since the first road trip was a success, we are planning our next one. More on that when it happens.

Disappointed..

2009-08-22T14:19:00.001-07:00

Recently, after the strawberry contest I mentioned in a previous post, I went up to Annapolis, Maryland with Paul "Porkslap" Arcaria. We both tied for 5th place, my lowest placing in a contest ever. Upset at our performance in Virginia, we decided on doing a challenge and found Ruth And Chicks Delly on eatfeats.com. As it turned out, what was listed (a 6 pound milkshake or a colossal sandwich) wasn't a challenge, but just a list of large food items. We called ahead of time to see if we needed to make reservations and mentioned we were pro-eaters. They let us know that they had a challenge but had not offered it yet because they were waiting for a filming of Man Vs. Food to unveil it, however they would allow us to take the challenge. For those that don't know, Man Vs. Food is a show that is gaining popularity which features an "average guy", Adam, who does restaurant challenges all over the country.
The challenge turned out to be the 6 pound milkshake and a 1 pound burger. This was going to be particularly challenging due to the fact that we just ate almost 5 pounds of strawberries. The good news was that our stomachs were nice and stretched from that contest and we got rid of most of the strawberries after the contest and probably digested most of the rest.

We finally got to the location and the staff was very pleasant and accommodating. They were pretty excited and surprised that someone was doing the challenge. I ordered the Cookies And Cream and Paul ordered classic chocolate. They were absolutely delicious but the burgers were just fine, nothing to write home about.

The Milk Shakes came out as pictured, in Gigantic glasses the size of a flower vase. These things were enormous. Paul requested a smaller glass and they brought us milkshake cups and ladles. Yes, you needed a ladle to scoop out the milkshake, they were so big.

7 pounds of food and a half an hour later, I was finished. I conquered the Ruth And Chick's Delly challenge. Paul was not so lucky. He was not able to get the milkshake down in the 1 hour time limit, but did finish it. The burger was too troublesome though. We paid our tab and they took my picture and I am the first ever to officially finish the challenge.

I recently went to check out their website and saw that they finally announced the challenge and then I realized that I never got the promised T-Shirt. I gave them a call and asked about Man Vs. Food and the assistant manager took my information and told me that they had yet to film and would let me know if I could be involved.

Well the owner of the restaurant Mr. Levitt called me back. He told me that he discussed my finishing the challenge with the Man Vs. Food staff and they were thinking doing the challenge featuring Adam Vs Myself Vs a service man (Annapolis is a naval port). This was exciting news as Man Vs. Food is a great show and is great exposure for competitive eating and would also be great exposure for me and great for my resume. Unfortunately I received an email from Mr. Levitt and they said they were not using that idea and I would not be needed. Simple as that.

Additionally, I contacted Atlas Media about Humanly Impossible. It was previously called Science Impossible, but I believe they changed the name because there was a History Channel program with the same name that would have probably caused some confusion. The reason I called them was because I hadn't heard about the program since the producer contacted me and asked me for my CE stats this past summer. The predicted air date was for late august, but as august is coming to a close, I have searched the cable program guide and have not seen the listing. I was told by the rep that National Geographic has not chosen an air date yet. I do know that the program aired in Australia through a television company called Beyond. I posted the promotional video previously and it looks great, but I need you to actually air Nat Geo!!!

Finally, I'm really disappointed at my job. Employment requires me to be a CUNY student, however the policy was that if you graduate, you had an additional semester to work. I recently graduated with my Associates degree and so the plan was to try and find full time work and if not, I would continue my employment with 311 and go back to school. I spoke to supervisors several times and even emailed the woman in HR and was assured that I would be gainfully employed, at least through to the end of the fall school semester. I then inquired about full time employment and the response was CC'd to the HR person again and I received another email thanking me for inquiring about full time employment and telling me my termination date would be on October 24th. Well there must have been some confusion right? Apparently not. I emailed the manager who I asked about full time employment to say that there must have been some kind of mistake. Nope, I was told "Well, at the time that the original email was sent that WAS the policy, however since then (which was about a week later) the policy has changed and now even if you're a graduate with an associates degree, you're still required to have at least 3 credits." I was livid. How do you assure someone a certain time of termination and then say there was a policy change? If I didn't inquire about full time work would I have just been escorted out the door? The great thing about 311 is that the resources that I need to try and get information are at my fingertips and so when I go back to work on Monday, I will be looking up the number for Labor Law information, to see if this is even legal, and then the lawyer referral service, just in case it's not.

The good news is that I've already had 2 interviews, one is an assistant managers position at an upscale flower shop that estimated a very decent commission on top of salary and a diabetic supply company who liked my customer service experience. We'll see where it goes from there. Wish me luck...