tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-364185502009-11-11T06:19:40.186-08:00Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.comBlogger209125TheCheekyLotushttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-19412907360597592232009-11-04T17:40:00.000-08:002009-11-04T18:51:41.339-08:00

So. Since I'm a huge blogger I get flooded with emails all the time offering me free stuff.I don't want to brag, but the other day I was offered The Singing Lizard's new CD. And then this other time I was offered 10% off a photo album for ME AND ALL MY READERS! 10%! Like you're only paying 90% (+ shipping)! Imagine what you could do with that 10% of savings (+ shipping)! You could buy that stamp

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-16942092350392466022009-10-21T22:00:00.000-07:002009-10-21T22:05:46.539-07:00

I just returned from the Bay Area.Okay, "just" is stretching it.I returned from the Bay Area last Thursday. But, of course it took me two days to unpack, a day to catch up on my Tivo, a day to accept that the balloon boy was a fake, and then another day to roll my cats around on the floor like fur burritos.I'm pretty sure that brings me to today. Maybe not. I may have blacked out for a time.

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-2364765318055637682009-10-07T10:55:00.000-07:002009-10-07T11:12:13.638-07:00

I know, I know. I've disappeared on you. Off into the ether of YouTube and gossip. But, if you liked it, you shoulda put a ring on it.I have no idea how that applies here. But, I've been wanting to say it for months. You know, to someone other than myself while I do lunges at the gym.And I think by "ring", I probably mean "donut".Speaking of the gym, I've discovered that I sort of love our

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-44126768246182586892009-09-17T08:19:00.000-07:002009-10-01T15:23:46.050-07:00

Last night my 7-year-old daughter told me she "wants to die" because she hates the way she looks.She hates that her "thighs jiggle".She hates that her "belly sticks out".She hates that she's "the biggest girl" in her class.She wants to die and she's seven.I've been waiting for this moment since the day I gave birth to a daughter. The day she inevitably starts hating herself. And here it was.I

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com51tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-74346022680373454632009-09-08T12:15:00.000-07:002009-09-08T12:31:09.262-07:00

We sort of make a big deal out of our anniversary every year. Our entire family gets together at a designated house and we do a ridiculously massive gift exchange (sound familiar? We call it Anniversary-mas). I will share photographic evidence as soon as I figure out how to transfer the photos to my new fancy netbook (Chris? Keep rockin like you do with the kickass gifts.)Anyhoo, this year our

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-58101204185632960042009-08-28T08:30:00.000-07:002009-08-28T13:13:18.701-07:00

This is just going to be one of those stream of consciousness posts because I'm typing through tears and don't want to stop and try to figure out how to make a cohesive thought.Today is effectively my last day of summer with my daughter. My mother is coming to take her until next week when we all get together and do our big anniversary celebration. I realized this as I lay in bed last night. Last

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-45361511943614859382009-08-26T17:45:00.000-07:002009-08-27T22:44:49.142-07:00

Dear Chris,You didn't cry at our wedding. That's always bugged me.I couldn't understand why you weren't so overwhelmed by my sparkling tiara and push up corset, not to mention spending the rest of your life with a goddess like myself, that it didn't move you to tears.Thankfully, you've redeemed yourself throughout the last nine years.How You Have Made It Up To Me, Let Me Count the Ways:Thank you

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-2632393903233200662009-08-21T08:27:00.000-07:002009-08-21T08:37:49.505-07:00

A widely read blogger had the misfortune of being on some asshat's radar the other day when she posted an intensely raw and personal picture of her financial situation. One that included her efforts to seek relief from her steep mortgage payments, among other things.And even after she pulled the post a short time later, the vultures continue to pick at its carcass. Dissecting each photo,

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-85834013461958587072009-08-19T05:03:00.000-07:002009-08-19T05:03:00.281-07:00

I went for a run today.If you can call it that.I have gained 10 pounds that I cannot seem to shed. I've tried everything: thinking about it really hard, making lists, looking at TMZ, baking pies, reading books. Nothing will do the trick! Weird I know.This weekend I decided I was going to get serious about working out. So I told Chris that I was taking up running because how hard can it be? I

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-31457773736670862022009-08-11T10:09:00.000-07:002009-08-11T10:58:29.663-07:00

Percentage of myself that feels 20 minutes on the elliptical this morning does not make up for the asiago bagel and cheddar bacon cream cheese: 0Number of hours I've been at Starbucks waiting to be inspired to write while digesting: 3Number of those hours spent Googling ex-boyfriends and watching singing dog videos: 2.5Number of times I've texted Chris gift suggestions for our anniversary later

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-76301896904323860872009-08-06T11:25:00.001-07:002009-08-06T11:29:30.119-07:00

FACT: An "only child" must have more playdates than the average cub.FACT: An "only child"'s mother must make more of an effort than the average mother to create a social life for her child.FACT: Telling the mother of an "only" child to be "grateful" that she doesn't have to listen to "two children fighting" will make her want to kick your legs out from under you.I'm not what you would call overly

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-86817385500483200732009-08-03T10:34:00.001-07:002009-08-03T13:57:28.806-07:00

I haven't written much about Savannah on this site recently. I haven't written much about anything recently, which is the main reason. The other more specific reason is because the last year has been a little trying with (and for) her.I thought I would never know which came first: my working or Savannah's attitude. Sadly, the last two months of my not working has answered that for me.I worked

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-88889864113888964612009-07-28T17:13:00.000-07:002009-07-29T13:46:35.666-07:00

I quit my job for this.*Blogher wrap-up posts must be so boring to read if you weren’t there. They’re kind of boring even when you were. Especially when this year they all seem to share the same sentiment “It’s fine to like free stuff, but don’t be an ass about it”.But, this post will be superior because it involves a butler and dinosaurs. Beat that, internet.First off, you’ll be happy to know

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-53520754960300328222009-07-10T09:33:00.000-07:002009-07-10T11:23:48.497-07:00

I’m all kinds of excited about flying to Blogher in two weeks. Alone. With nothing between me and the ground but 30,000 feet of bad thoughts.My mom came back from a trip recently and tried to tell me…hold on, I need to laugh some more about this. She tried to convince me that I wouldn’t be afraid to fly if only I “flew first class”. Does everyone have their own eject pod in first class, mom? Yeah

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-51364911347713848042009-06-24T12:31:00.000-07:002009-06-24T17:32:57.889-07:00

Sweet hotcakes, it's summer.I wish I could sound like a sane person and claim that the reason I'm excited for summer is because I look forward to Savannah whining at me all day about what we're going to do FOR KIDS. (By the way, this tragically does not include Target, Trader Joe's, the mall, Starbucks, or the gym. It does however include the pool, the park, and looking at puppies that I'm

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-82780452619789980962009-06-11T15:00:00.000-07:002009-06-11T17:18:19.047-07:00

So. I've been working on Savannah's birth story since, well, eight years ago this October 14 I guess (along with her birth scrapbook album, which managed to cost me $1500 in stickers, but never actually materialized into photos or a birth story and then I ended up selling everything on Ebay last month for $75 so ANYWAY). It finally took Discovery Health's Baby Week to nudge me along into

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com59tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-11664261684208574992009-06-07T12:29:00.000-07:002009-06-07T12:39:00.922-07:00

So, this one time? Like two years ago? I had to start working because we were about to lose our house. Or was it our job? Our minds? I can't remember - it all runs together after so many months of ENDLESS JOYS. Anyway, if you remember, I started my own business which was fun for about as long as it took to run out of color coordinated post-its. Which is to say, briefly.I then quickly

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-48784790945738377242009-04-20T09:08:00.000-07:002009-04-20T09:10:28.766-07:00

I’m stuck here at work when all I want to do is be at home throwing socks for the cats to watch them slide around on the wood floors and boiling chicken to give the illusion that I have some grand plans for dinner and writing super important life stories on my laptop. Like how the TWENTY pounds I’ve gained is inexplicably all being stored in my knees and my eyelids. Or how I hired a housekeeper

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-22555614340075566602009-03-26T14:41:00.000-07:002009-06-10T09:29:24.207-07:00

Last week Chris found out he would get the "opportunity" to "interview" for his current position.Isn't that awesome? Leaving your office to take the elevator upstairs to interview for the job that you're going to go back downstairs and keep doing for the rest of the day just as you have for the last five years?That interview was on Monday. Poor Chris stopped 4 times at gas station bathrooms on

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-11205448852168502732009-03-04T22:12:00.000-08:002009-03-04T22:25:05.082-08:00

After writing such a stupid poem poking fun at my miserable husband's cough, it was only appropriate that it would turn out to be The Plague. The universe loves golden opportunities like this. Oh, you think coughing is bad? How about not breathing? Yeah, write a poem about THAT at 2:00 in the morning while you're on the phone with the advice nurse. So, yeah. Chris' cough was, um... (small

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-11616125759763545552009-02-22T20:29:00.000-08:002009-02-22T21:21:41.407-08:00

I spent all weekend cleaning, which is what I know normal moms and wives do in their free time, but for me it had obvious deep psychological reasons since I HATE to clean. I just needed something in my life to be in order or I felt I was going to lose my freaking mind. As if looming unemployment weren’t enough, both Chris and Savannah have been sick for a week resulting in fevers, puking, and

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-45890478413480024962009-01-31T17:50:00.000-08:002009-01-31T18:04:08.121-08:00

I keep waiting for things to NOT SUCK to write, but... wow. That will be a long time.So, yeah.Chris was laid off. (-1)I'm working full time. (-1)Which means I have an excuse to buy $19.99 cardigans at Target. (+1)But, I make about 11 cents an hour. (-1)And my boss has man boobs. (-1)And closes his eyes while he talks. (-1)But, I do have a big office. (+1)Which shares a wall with the men's

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-51600534287597938812008-11-22T09:43:00.003-08:002008-11-22T09:44:36.385-08:00

The government seized Chris' bank last night.Hold me.I wonder what wine pairs well with SPAM?

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-84221779964466716932008-11-17T13:05:00.000-08:002008-11-17T13:09:28.359-08:00

I planned on writing about how Chris works for a mortgage bank - how he's always worked for a bank - and about how that has always served us well . . .until now.I was going to tell some funny stories about how all year we've joked around about the economy - how I call him and ask "Are you at a desk . . .ooor on a curb?". How I frequently suggest that he should ask his boss if he's thirsty or

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-36418550.post-50287961191287423202008-11-12T16:06:00.001-08:002008-11-12T16:28:14.471-08:00

After a very long month of unpacking boxes and hanging pictures and painting (Savannah’s room is such a hideous shade of pink that it looks like we’ve been slaughtering farm animals in there) I’m finally ready to enjoy my new little home. And I do mean little. If you come in the front door too fast you’ll run right out the back door. The only person not laughing at this image is Chris since he

Lenahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07334552523048470954cheekylotus@gmail.com20