Yet another night of watching Joy Behar and her panel talk about Letterman’s workplace shenanigans

Is it wrong for ambitious women to use their sexuality to their career advantage?
Is it slutty to sleep you way to the top?  Is it unethical, immoral, unfair or is all fair in love, war and work? 

How do you know when a workplace romance is OK?

In these tight economic times “working it” has taken on a whole new meaning as we hear stories of how some women have worked their way up .  Hollywood, as usual, depicts what is the norm – to an extreme that challenges these are other uncomfortable questions. 

The reality is – and the reason why so many people are so disturbed to hear these stories, is that deep down, we all know that workplace relations, especially between those with power and authority and those with less, is sometimes a very real situation in the workplace, more times that we can to consciously see.  Which is the easier road – working or flirting? It’s actually difficult to say, both paths come with their own perils.  And different women have different strengths, some have to ability to lure, to seduce, to disarm and charm and cajole, and pleasure others – others have the ability to organize, operate and calculate.  Is organizing a superior skill than persuading – top salespeople and CEO’s all know that both are equally of value in order to make the economic engine of a company turnover a profit.  Politicians and business leaders rely specifically on their ability to "seduce" people - the media, audiences, customers, employees, partners, investors to their way of thinking, to fall in love with their product or service or business plan or strategy.  It is part of their job.  

As women now represent 50% of the workforce, it is valid to open a dialog about such considerations and perhaps even refresh our norms of the past.  These are not 1950’s secretaries being seduced by their bosses, these are 21^st Century Women taking control of their career leveraging all of their talents.   I’m not saying it’s appropriate or OK, but I do believe both sides of the story need to be heard – and until you hear the women complaining,  we can’t assume to know the other side of the story.

Men have never been asked to hide their sexuality in the workplace, they don’t leave their masculinity at home when they come to work in the morning, so why are women asked to un-sex themselves at work?  There is no doubt immense power in one’s sexuality (with or without the actual act of sex).  Learning to use one’s sexual energy appropriately in the workplace is something women have not been taught, nor do they have many role models to emulate.  As Catholic girls taught – not to have sex – women that have been told not to be a sexual person at work are put in the impossible position of fighting their own nature.  Some inevitability will succumb to the temptation of what has been labeled -deviant behavior  

Most women have never been given a way to balance a healthy work self with a healthy sexual self.   The most common word people use when describing my book cover is “sexy” – there is an attractive lure towards the taboo or integrating sexuality with ideas of business – yet they are inextricably interwoven already – we’ve all just collectively denied it.  Classic husband and wife teams show that romance and talent can lead to genius at work, yet unless such creative collaboration is neatly contained within the tidy box of classic matrimony – it is frowned upon.  These new scandals open a long over due dialog about men and women and working together in a world of sexual equality.  Our world has changed, yet many of our expectations for behavior remain the same.  Morality doesn't change over time, but practicality does.  It is worthwhile asking - does it still make sense to think like that?  

In the meantime, in the midst of a tight economy and a health care crisis, its nice to know that working in the professional comedy world comes with such a robust health plan option.

Another super successful night of women, wine and business wisdom at Wine Styles. 

Last week we tasted at the Perimeter location and this week at the Cumberland one, which sports a lovely private tasting room just perfect for parties and networking. 

Adriene crafted these lovely custom floral arrangements that set the mood for beauty, pleasure and fun.

Check out more of these great photos taken by Joni McRae of Focus on Video. http://focus-on-video.smugmug.com/Events/Wine-Tasting-The-Event-Salon/9831482_7gim9/1/668222891_bP3m7

A Flourishing Business thrives on systems. It runs as an ever changing cyclical organism with a natural path of growth … if properly tended to of course.  To get your business flowing to chic success, here are 8 ways you can put systems into place to grow the value of your business and personally thrive:

1. A written business plan.  Yes, this is technically “a system”.  Planning is not of value by the end product a.k.a. the dreaded (I mean fabulous) business that you produce but rather by the activity itself – therefore the plan is simply a representation (and an important  manifestation of your thought process and vision) of the activity of planning. You must have something down on paper describing who you are as a company, what your value proposition is, how you do it, who you do it to and why you are great.  Yes, I said great, you need to have down in writing why you are great, or you will never be able to articulate that message to your customers.  They will make up their own minds about your company, but your company should also be mindful of how it wants to be perceived.  You plan should include numbers and dates, and state specific goals and expectations for success. 
2. A system to track all the opportunities that come your way.  Prospects, leads, strategic alliances, champions and fans will all come your way when you are providing true value to the marketplace, you need a system for what to do with them.  How do you weed out true ideal prospects from time wasters and tire kickers?  How do you weave prospects down the path of becoming customers? How do you identify possible alliance opportunities with other companies? How do you cultivate such opportunities? What is the best way to leverage champions of your brand? (Think Jared of Subway) How can you use the human desire of belonging to create community around your product/service/experience?  These are the questions that smart entrepreneurs use to create a sales funnel diagram, CRM process flow charts, or sequence of events, all for turning prospects into clients and clients into fans.  Have a weekly schedule (that you follow) with all the activities necessary to communicate and breed these critical relationships for your business success.
3. Which brings me to… A system and/or schedule for engaging in social media forums (Facebook, Twitter, Linked-In etc.).  Social media is no longer optional.  Having a online presence has come to mean far more than having a static webpage.  Customers are looking for a dialogue.  The crumbling of corporate America (OK, maybe that’s a bit dramatic, let’s say restructuring)  is symptomatic to the slow disillusion of the customer relationship that has been taking place for some time.  The inherent opposite reaction to the hideous sins committed on the customer relationship front by the corporate mask, is what small business – entrepreneurs can provide.  If that was too deep for you, I’m talking about a massive opportunity for budding entrepreneurs around the country - people with value and commitment to service who will dare to do it differently.  If you are one of those people than you (and your team) need to be online talking to others and finding a following and doing so by following your weekly social media schedule.  “Advertising is too expensive” is no longer a valid excuse for not being able to get in front of enough people.  The only thing you need to do to get in front of people these days is come up with something innovative enough that they want to see it and share it.
4. A system for billing that takes you less than an hour (a month, a week?)  Getting paid and paying others is a reality of running a business.  Invoicing clients in a timely manner means getting paid in a timely manner.  Paying your bills on time means keeping relationships without strain and avoiding financial penalties like late fees.   Your goal should be do complete the task as quickly and efficiently as possible, this requires a balance between immediacy and batching that will depend on the other activities of the business and the inherent nature of the business.  Obviously they don’t send you a bill after you drive off with your food from the grocery store, but many business thrive on delaying the psychological pain of paying until the right moment.  Choosing how and when you expect payment for your services will depend on your company.  Strive to automate and force pre-payment wherever possible and be timely in any billing – it will obviously directly effect your cash flow which is the life blood of your business.
5. A system for keeping your books up to date. Systematically managing the numbers of your business is a discipline that can be challenging for the creative entrepreneur who would prefer to be “doing what they do” rather than counting the beans.  But bean counting is not optional in the successful and flourishing business it is mandatory.  So find a way to make bean counting a fun part of your regular routine.  OK, so maybe for some it will never be fun, therefore the best we can all aspire to is to make it efficient.  If this means setting aside an uninterrupted hour every week, than do so.  If it means hiring a bookkeeper – make it happen.  Weak financial management skills is the excuse many entrepreneurs hide behind, but it really just comes down to being disciplined and systematic about it.  Once a good system is created you can put yourself on autopilot and just follow the system, which is much less painful (until of course the system breaks and then you have another opportunity to innovate, but that’s another topic altogether).
6. A system for what would happen to your business if something happened to you.  Yes, sorry to break the news to you, friend but you are not immortal.  Just like the rest of us, one day your time will come - so it is your responsibility to come up with a systematic way of dealing with your eventual and inevitable release from the human form.  Just as when you have children you need to have a guardian designated for if something were to happen to you, if building a true flourishing business, you should also have such a plan in place.  Please don’t take this one as morbid, stressful or let it be of anxiety for you – in fact by wisely acknowledging your own mortality, you put yourself in a position of power, the power to see beyond what’s contained in your own human experience.  This actually can be a great exercise is thinking big and tapping into your true purpose as you force yourself to ask the question, what do I want to happen once I’m gone.  This is where you build your legacy.
7. Regular meetings for counsel from someone holding you accountable.  A Business advisor, business coach, mentor, or even accountant, attorney, or your successfully retired great uncle, can all be sources of the kind of detached advisory counsel needed by any person in a leadership role.  When they say its lonely at the top, their not kidding, that is the pure reality of being at the top, you are there, at the top and no one else is, sure there are other people that are at the top of their own thing and you can kind of relate to them, but no one else is in charge of your company, but you.  You are all alone … until you reach out and get some friends, mentors, advisors and outside support that you can trust to give you another view.  All studies show that a person’s ability to perform at anything always goes up when they have some one in the role of coach.  If you want to be performing at your best as a business leader, you need systematic interaction with those who will motive you, guide you and fully unlock your true potential.  Get a good business advisor today. 
8. Scheduled days and/or time off.  Yes, flourishing business owners know that even play is a system.  You need to refill the well on a regular basis.  Burnout is becoming rampant among high level professionals and sadly it still bears a social stigma that prevents people from taking about it and thus dealing with it and preventing it.  You can’t climb the mountain 24 X 7.  You’ve got to take the time rest, refuel, and re connect with your own spirit.  There is no widespread agreement on how much time off people need and it varies widely across cultures.   While work does have the great capacity to bring us pleasure and happiness it only does so when 1) it allows us to do what we are good at and 2) it is cycled appropriately with leisure.  As an entrepreneur, I would hope that you have chosen to work in a field that is in line with your values, your gifts and your purpose in life.  Hopefully you love your work, but hopefully you also realize that your work is not your life, is a means by which you can live your life.  Craft your business such that your time off/holiday/vacation system gives you a life you love. 

Elizabeth Gordon is the author of best-selling book, The Chic Entrepreneur: Put Your Business in Higher Heels, and the Founder and President of Flourishing Business, an Advisory Firm for Entrepreneurs.