The Christian Wife Life

What I'm Loving Wednesday List

2018-01-10T17:35:00.000-05:00

Here is a list of all of my What I'm Loving Wednesday items that I've mentioned! Some links may be affiliate links, but that does not change the price for you. :)

BOOKS

Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin (how to study the Bible)
How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind by Dana K. White
Modern Mrs. Darcy daily Kindle deals
The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp (Advent book)
The Tech-Wise Family by Andy Crouch
Dolly Parton's Imagination Library
Reading People by Anne Bogel (about personality assessments)
Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero
Family Picture Board Books
Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman
The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel
If You Only Knew by Jamie Ivey
Dance, Stand, Run by Jess Connolly

BOOK ACCESSORIES & JOURNALS

BEAUTY

Lipsense color: Praline Rose
Tarte blush palette
Origins masks, specifically Drink Up Intensive Overnight Mask
Senegence CC cream -- I wear shade Medium
Senegence Shadowsense in Candlelight used as under eye concealer
Tartelette eyeshadow palette
Redken hair cleansing cream shampoo
Aussie 3 Minute Miracle Moist conditioner
It's a 10 leave-in spray (detangler, heat protectant, etc.)
Tarte bronzer
Tarte highlighter
Redken hair slimming serum
Norwex body mitt
Teleties cord hair ties

CLOTHES & ACCESSORIES

My Initial Necklaces
Old Navy high rise compression leggings
Bella Tunno Boss Bag -- I only have the Diaper Clutch which is included in Boss Bag
Aerie bras and undies in Sunnie fabric
AE jeans
Gap vintage wash tees
Enso Silicone Ring
Bookshelf Tees
Target Universal Thread clothing line
Teleties cord hair ties
Noonday Forestry Ear Climbers earrings

SPIRITUAL

FOOD

Cold Brew Coffee Maker
Protein Powder -- Muscle Milk chocolate
Collagen Peptides Powder (tasteless)

Morning protein shake = cold brew coffee + 1.5 scoops chocolate protein powder + 1 scoop collagen powder in shaker cup, then add ice!

Trader Joe's Reduced Guilt guacamole
Chai lattes
Trader Joe's seasoning salt
Spindrift sparkling water

WEBSITES, PODCASTS, & APPS

Modern Mrs. Darcy daily Kindle deals
The Lazy Genius podcast/blog
Marco Polo video chat app
YouVersion Bible App
Journey Women Podcast -- specifically this interview with Gloria Furman
Amazon Echo/Echo Dot
1 Second Everyday app

ENTERTAINMENT

Marbles kids museum membership
Psalm 100 a capella group on Spotify
Charlie Brown Christmas album
Star Wars: Episode VIII -- The Last Jedi
Amazon Echo/Echo Dot
Sleeping at Last -- Enneagram songs on Atlas album

HOME

Paper Riot wall decals (I used the snowflakes)
IKEA shoe cabinet
Gold hoop wreath making
Amazon Echo/Echo Dot
The Tiny Greenhouse in Greensboro, NC

KIDS

MISCELLANEOUS

Christmas card scrapbook
Enneagram (I'm a 4w3!)
Southwest Airlines companion pass
Weekly Sabbath!

Athleisure with Stitch Fix

2017-03-07T16:23:00.000-05:00

Athleisure is a bandwagon that I am currently driving. Did I sleep in these clothes? Did I work out in them? Or did I just go to the store? The world may never know.

I asked Stitch Fix for some specific articles of athleisure type clothing and they sent the PERFECT items. I wear these clothes way, WAY too much. They're comfortable but a little more put together than yoga pants and a t-shirt.

John Striped Cardigan ($48) -- SO SOFT. Ridiculously soft. Neutral. Great length. (Covers my rear, I'm 5'4" for reference.) Can dress it up or down. The perfect cardigan.
Teighlor Slim Fit Drawstring Jogger Pant ($78) -- Again, crazy soft. Thick enough to be legit pants. They are more expensive for a good reason -- these are NOT your typical joggers. The quality is superb. They have such a smooth, soft, luxurious feel and I can tell they'll hold up for the long haul.
Jesse Crossbody Bag ($48) -- The only bag I carry when I'm not using a diaper bag. I love the size and it goes with everything.
Voice Zip Sneaker ($69) -- Comfortable, but a step up from normal sneakers. I was wary of requesting shoes but even though the first pair they sent me didn't fit, I was able to easily exchange them for a different size.

Accalia Anorak Jacket ($128) -- Exactly what I was looking for in a new jacket. Super versatile and I love the olive color. This also looks amazing dressed up with jeans and heels. It's a waterproof material which makes for a stylish raincoat as well.

As I've said in the past (like in this past review) it helps to be really specific with your requests. I tell them exactly what I'm looking for and pin what I like on my style board. Sometimes they've sent me exactly what I've pinned!

Although the prices can (but don't always) run higher than I would normally spend, I don't mind that for a few reasons. Firstly, it takes the time and effort of shopping out of the equation (I also just dislike shopping in general). Secondly, the quality is excellent. I've gotten some of my most loved and most worn staples from them. Lastly, I'm just gonna be up front here -- I save up referral money for this. That's an awesome part of Stitch Fix -- after you get your first one, you then have your own referral code and can get $25 for EACH person who tries it after you recommend it to them. That's a pretty sweet perk and can add up quickly.

Have you gotten any great athleisure pieces from Stitch Fix?

How I Store & Print my Photos + FREE Chatbook for you!

2017-01-22T12:39:00.000-05:00

One of my goals recently has been to overhaul my photo storage and printing situation. Especially since having kids it has been kinda overwhelming and ridiculous how many photos I have and how they are sitting on my phone/computer doing nothing. I want to actually ENJOY the pictures. Here is the process I've found works best for me.

(If you're here for the free Chatbooks link, you can go ahead and click here!)

Storage

I store all of my photos in an external hard drive organized by years, then months, and then specific holidays or events within months. I have a separate iPhone folder under each month. I try to upload photos at least monthly. The key is to carve out enough time to DELETE photos when I upload. It can be difficult to delete, but I pick some favorites to edit and save and then get rid of the rest. Judah is not going to want to go through 57 photos of himself sitting in front the Christmas tree making different faces someday.

It's also helpful to keep a folder going of ones you definitely want to print. I have one called Gallery Wall where I am collecting photos for a gallery wall I am planning for our office. It's good to be specific with your folders!

Photo Books

When my family gathers at my grandparents' house we inevitably go through old photo albums at some point. This is what I want to be able to do with our photos! Not just on a screen. But I also want the process of creating the albums to be as SIMPLE as possible.

Chatbooks is my solution to this. It honestly doesn't get easier. You can sign up to receive a Series and they will automatically send you photo books WITHOUT YOU HAVING TO DO ANYTHING. It is truly magical. And only $8 for a 60 page book that is great quality.

All you do is link up your Instagram account and once you post 60 photos they will send you a book of them. If you want to edit which photos that are included you can definitely do that (and they will notify you before they send the book) but you don't have to.

I decided to make a separate Instagram account solely for Chatbooks photos. Then I know exactly what is going to be included (just personal family photos) and I can make the captions how I want them for the book. I also don't post certain kinds of photos on my public account, so this separate account is for my eyes only. It sounds complicated but it's super easy to switch over to another account on Instagram and add photos.

You can also make custom books through Chatbooks for up to 365 photos. I made one for 2016 and it was the least frustrating process for making a photo book I've ever done and I'm SO pleased with how it turned out.

Photo Prints

If I am printing larger photos to frame I use mpix -- awesome price point, quality, speed of shipping, and customer service.

I love having square Instagram prints hanging in my kitchen and to stick in the boys' baby books. I am not fussy about their baby books -- I basically just tape printed Instagram photos in them and try to write some updates monthly/after doctor visits.

If you need Instagram prints extremely quickly and cheap, you can easily get them from Walgreens. BUT the quality is definitely lacking.

Chatbooks offers easy Instagram prints that are also excellent quality, 24 for $12. It takes NO TIME to order them from their app and you can get prints from your phone, Facebook, Instagram, etc. Select photos, crop if needed, optional white border, done.

It took me a while to jump on the Chatbooks train for no good reason, but now that I did, I love it. It truly simplifies that part of my life and is one less thing to take up mental space.

To get your FREE BOOK use this link!

You get a free book and I get a free book. Win Win. (Then you get a referral link for free books too!)

Our Top 20 Toddler Books

2016-11-30T21:39:00.001-05:00

After making our Top 10 Gifts List, I knew I had to make a list of our favorite books. We read books at least three times a day, usually more. These are the ones Judah comes back to over and over. Most of these are going to be board books since they are for toddlers. :) All of them are definitely gender neutral! (There are a few truck related ones but girls can like those too of course!)

1. Go! Go! Go! Stop! -- Judah adores this book and it is personally my very favorite. This is gonna make me sound like a total English nerd (and I am) but there are SO many literacy skill elements in this book. On one page it goes through all of the machines and what they are doing with alliterated action verbs and adverbs (i.e. "mixer mixed marvelously", "tow truck towed terrifically"). It teaches how go and stop are opposites and that green means go and red means stop. It teaches teamwork, balance, and the importance of rest. It teaches problem solving. The pictures are fun. I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT THIS BOOK, Y'ALL. But I'll stop before this paragraph gets longer than the book itself. :)

2. A is for Apple (Trace and Flip) -- Judah LOVES the alphabet and this book has cultivated that love. It's the best simplified ABC book that I've found. Each page shows the capital and lowercase letter and two things that begin with that letter (one hidden under a flap!). It has arrows for the child to trace their finger over the letter. Judah will sit down unprompted and go through this entire book by himself.

3. Goodnight Moon -- Classic and a best seller for a good reason. The pictures are easy to look at and Judah loves to find the little mouse on each page.

4. Dr. Seuss's ABC -- I have this book completely memorized we have read it so many times. Such a fun rhyming book that you can almost sing as you read it.

5. Chicka Chicka Boom Boom -- Another alphabet book, but very different. At first I thought this book was a little strange. But as Judah got a little older he started to be crazy about this book. He asks for it every day. The very last pages have the whole alphabet on them and he loves to point at the letters as we sing the ABCs.

6. The Going to Bed Book -- Another one I have memorized, this one is a good QUICK read for bedtime or anytime. :)

7. Where's Spot? -- A classic lift the flap book that is super entertaining for Judah.

8. My Big Word Book -- This one is the updated version of the one we have but it is such a great word teaching book!

9. The Very Hungry Caterpillar -- Judah loves the holes in the book and all of the counting.

10. Baby Einstein 12 Board Book Block Set -- A set of tiny books that don't have plots or anything but Judah loves them and they are so handy to have.

11. Moo Baa La La La -- This book cracks Judah up and is another adorable one from Sandra Boynton. He loves to say all of the sounds the animals make as we read it.

12. Who's At Home -- A unique flap book, this one goes through woodland animals and where they live.

13. Little Blue Truck -- Judah didn't become attached to this book until recently (around 20 months) but it has always been one of my personal favorites. Now he loves it!

14. I Love You Night and Day -- Such a sweet book that we especially love to read at night.

15. There's a Wocket in My Pocket! -- Judah thinks this book is SO funny.

16. Snap! Snap! Guess the Animal! -- This is a lift the flap book, but the flaps cover the whole page which makes it quite dramatic when you open them.

17. Little Zebra (finger puppet book) -- There is a whole line of these finger puppet books that are so cute and fun.

18. Things That Go -- This covers such a wide range of vehicles with great pictures.

19. Baby Sophie la girafe: First Words -- A sweet lift the flap book. Judah learned all the words in this book very quickly although some of them are definitely European terms (like "brick" instead of "block").

20. The Jesus Storybook Bible -- The only one on the list that isn't a board book. This is usually what we read from every day at breakfast. I look forward to it every time because it helps ME spiritually! SO GOOD!

Happy book shopping! This is not an exhaustive list by any means, just some of our favorites. Feel free to leave some suggestions for us too!

*Affiliate links used, but all opinions are mine as always!*

Top 10 Christmas Gifts for Babies and Toddlers

2016-11-16T22:39:00.000-05:00

This past year we received some amazing Christmas and birthday gifts for Judah that he's used all year long. He was 9 months old when he received them and still loves them at 18 months. Great toys that hold his interest and cultivate learning have been key especially since we've had baby #2. I've been recommending these items to friends, so I figured I'd compile them here on the blog! These are perfect for either gender.

1. Beatbo -- Before you run away from this musical toy, give it a chance. It honestly has some legit sounding dance music -- not your average kids' toy tunes! Our son LOVES it. He plays and dances with it for long periods of time and loves for us to join in. It has alphabet, counting, and color songs, and a button you can press to record your own voice that it autotunes and plays back for you. We keep this in his room and it is perfect when he has room time while I feed the baby.

2. Alphabet dog -- This dog sings the alphabet as you walk him. If you press the letter it goes through multiple things: the letter, the sound it makes, and a word that starts with that letter. Judah astonished me one day when I asked if he wanted more and he said, "M, more!" I had no idea how he knew that and then I figured out it was because of this dog. Another great toy that truly holds his attention.

3. VTech Sit to Stand Walker -- Judah loved this before he could stand, then used it to pull up and walk around, and now still plays with it even though he's been walking for half a year. The music can drive me nuts but it has been a versatile toy for multiple age stages.

4. Shape sorter ball -- So this is expensive. But it's the original Tupperware shape sorter ball. The sweet ladies who kept me in the church nursery gifted us this because it was my favorite when I was little. Judah LOVES THIS THING. So much so that I have to hide it or he becomes obsessed. He has learned all the shapes (although he has trouble saying "trapezoid"...but he seriously holds up a hexagon and says "hexagon"...crazy). It was definitely a learning process for him to be able to put the shapes in by himself but we started early and he was hooked. Most shape sorters have lids that can be taken off but this one doesn't so you're forced to actually put them in the specific shape holes.

5. Stacking bowls -- He stacks them. He rolls them. He spins them. He makes them into balls. He hides the small ones in the big ones. He has loved these for at least a year and the love hasn't faded.

6. Counting basketball goal -- This is the updated version of the one we have because I can't find the old one. Ours doesn't have a soccer goal and is less fancy. But besides being such a fun toy, this has truly helped Judah learn to count. And has also made him think that the number 10 is always one to be celebrated.

7. Classic blocks -- Judah will sit and study these blocks for long amounts of time. He loves finding certain letters and looking at the pictures. And then of course they are perfect for building towers and working on fine motor skills!

8. Flash cards -- There is a series of these cards and we have the First Words and the Counting ones. It has helped him learn all the words and he also simply loves taking them out of the box and putting them back in.

9. Bath basketball -- Judah's favorite bath toy!

10. BOOKS! -- This deserves a post of its own because there are SO many that we love. (EDIT: I made a post of our Top 20 Books for Toddlers! Yay!) Last year Jordan and I only got Judah a tote bag (see below) and some books. We knew the grandparents would get him toys! Some of our favorite books off the top of my head are Goodnight Moon, Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Go! Go! Go! Stop!, The Going to Bed Book, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, any ABC books, Where's Spot?, and goodness if your kid doesn't have the Jesus Storybook Bible go get that RIGHT now. :) Usborne Books is an awesome source for books as well -- you can go to my friend Abby's site to shop there!

*Honorable Mention* -- Lands' End Large Zip Top Canvas tote bag -- I got the idea from Hayley Morgan's post about getting each kid a tote bag for their first Christmas. This is really more for us right now, but will hopefully last a long time for Judah to use for years. I already have Levi's as well!

*Disclaimers* -- I think experiences are amazing gifts as well and I definitely don't want you to fill your house with toys! These are just ones that are tried and true for us and I'm glad we have. Some affiliate links are used, but as always the opinions are totally my own!

Levi's Birth Story - Part 2

2016-08-21T07:00:00.000-04:00

You can read Part 1 here.

May 18, 2016 - Wednesday

7:30 pm

Jordan and I arrived at the birth center and were happy to see Margaret. She is so easy to be around and has such a positive presence about her. Margaret checked on the baby's heartbeat, felt my belly for his position, and remarked (like every other midwife) about how it seemed like he'd be small. They hadn't been worried about this since Judah was on the small side. She listened to his heartbeat while I had a contraction. She said that my contractions definitely didn't seem intense enough for me to stay. Then she went over our options for medication to help me sleep. We listened to the instructions, slightly discouraged but trying to stay positive.

Then, she checked me and her tone completely changed. Eyes widening, she said, "You're not going anywhere! You're 8-9 cm and the baby's head is RIGHT here!" She was shocked and kept saying that she couldn't believe it. Relief washed over us. I KNEW my body had been doing a lot of work. I don't know if I don't accurately communicate my pain level well or what. It's tough because I wanted them to know as much as possible how I was feeling so they would know what steps to take, but at the same time if I gave into the pain and talked about it negatively then that made it worse. Even throughout the day I didn't want any words or looks of pity from Jordan or our parents as that didn't help me. I don't know if that makes sense but I asked them to try not to do that and they all did an excellent job of supporting me how I needed it. Just like last time I tried to stay CALM throughout the whole thing.

Margaret summoned the nurse to get the room ready -- the same room where I birthed Judah. It felt right to be back in that one, but it also felt really weird. Like....how am I here again so soon?! Are we really having another baby?? So many mixed emotions.

She told me that she would break my water and she thought the baby would come quickly after that. She said that the reason I kept constantly having to pee was that his head was so close and that she couldn't believe that my water hadn't broken on its own yet. We had driven my parents' car to the birth center so I'm glad it didn't break on our way!

We were so happy. I felt renewed and excited for what was to come. I knew that I would be holding this still unnamed baby soon and couldn't stop smiling. (Okay well maybe I stopped smiling some during contractions but whatever.)

Jordan called the family to tell them to come and we got settled in the room. I did some squats using the shower bar to see if my water would break on its own. That bar was so helpful to lean on as I swayed through contractions. Margaret came in to tell us that they were having some complications with the other baby who was just birthed and she would have to attend to that for a bit. She wanted me to eat and drink some more before everything intensified. I didn't realize this but Jordan told me later that I promptly destroyed three Gatorades at that time (not big ones, but still, good grief. At least they were G2s). I ate a banana and a granola bar.

We hung out just us two through some contractions and discussed the name some more. Margaret checked on me during this discussion and liked the one we were leaning toward and at that point I said okay -- let's just use that one. We felt better about it than any other one and kept coming back to it even though I knew we may not feel 100%. That 100% feeling was what I had been waiting for, but it just wasn't happening.

Then I started to get impatient. I was wondering why she wouldn't just come and break my dang water. Well, ANOTHER potential birth had arrived. Baby & Co. has three rooms and now they were all full. With one midwife and one nurse. The nurse said that she had gone weeks without attending a birth and now she had three at one time...crazy! I was like oh yeah cool wow definitely help them but CAN YOU JUST BREAK MY WATER PLEASE.

While I waited some more Jordan brought Judah in to see me before he needed to head home for bedtime. I loved seeing my buddy and got some cuddles in while he was still our only baby. He had no idea his world would be completely different the next time he saw us! My sister in law Caitlin's mom came to our house to be there until I had the baby. She was so clutch because I hadn't even thought about how no one in our family would want to leave do that (of course).

9:00 pm (maybe, not sure)

I got in the shower to help with the back pain and Jordan sprayed hot water directly onto my back. That is like medication for real y'all.

Somewhere around this time, Margaret finally broke my water. She had me immediately do some test pushes and told me I was so close. They left me to finish off my laboring and let them know when I felt the pushing urge. Since I actually knew what that felt like this time I was like okay let's do this thing.

Things kicked into an even higher gear right away as we were in the home stretch. I mean the contractions had definitely been difficult thus far, but this was the point when there weren't really any breaks, a lot of "help me God"s were said, and my low moans increased. It was SO MUCH LIKE last time, except this time I wasn't as exhausted and out of it. Which partially was nice because I had the energy I needed, and partially was bad because I was much more mentally present and therefore more aware of everything I was feeling.

Last time they made me do lunges and squats to get Judah in a better position. This time I did them voluntarily because 1) it made it slightly easier to get through the contractions as I would breathe and count through them 2) it felt more like a workout which helped mentally 3) I wanted to help the baby along as much as I possibly could so I wouldn't have to push long.

So there I was, identical to last time, with my foot propped up on the bed doing lunges and switching sides each contraction. Margaret had told me that supporting my belly with my arms or getting Jordan to do so could slightly help my back pain so we did that some. (Similar to the support I got from the rebozo wrap last time.) I remember telling him to help me sometimes and then I'd be like NO stop it doesn't help WAIT come back try it again okay that's good NOPE NOPE STOP. Poor guy. He was so great and did anything he could. A contraction would end I'd be like PEEL ME A BANANA and it would suddenly appear, ready for me to take a bite. I shouldn't make it seem like I was yelling because I wasn't (that I recall) but there was definitely a sense of urgency with the contractions so close together.

Everything kept getting more difficult and I was still not having an urge to push. Looking back, I should have known to try laying down since that's what started the pushing urge last time, but I was so focused on getting through the pain that I didn't think of it. When I felt like I truly couldn't take it anymore I told Jordan to go get them and tell them it was at the highest level and that I would love to try to start pushing -- urge or no urge.

Here's a funny story that I was not a part of and didn't hear until days later. At this point Jordan went out to the front waiting area where our family was and our midwife Margaret was out there getting a drink or something. Our parents started talking to Jordan about getting us food and what he thought I would want and he FORGOT WHY HE WAS OUT THERE. So I was by myself, for all they knew delivering my baby alone, while they were sitting discussing milkshakes or something. Thanks, guys. Margaret asked Jordan if anything had changed since she was last in there and he kind of auto responded/thought she was referring to their food conversation and was like, "yeah everything's fine." A few seconds later it hit him and he was like NO WAIT she needs you. I never even realized I was alone for all that time because I was so in the zone. Bless his heart. He really is the best, he just had a momentary loss of sanity.

A few things I remember from being in the zone:

thinking about the things I was glad I wasn't currently doing -- for instance, one of our BFF's was about to summit an icy mountain wearing 17 layers at the exact time I was having the baby (what a great day for our group text chat) and I wouldn't have switched places with him for anything.
picturing Coach Boone in Remember the Titans saying this:

listening to the song You Make Me Brave by Bethel -- LISTEN TO IT. I will never hear it again without reliving this birth and probably crying. It was already one of my life songs but this made it even more so. This time I listened to a mix of Coldplay and Jordan's worship playlist for camp.

So they finally came back to check on me and had me lay down to monitor the baby's heart rate and my blood pressure. And there it was. THE URGE TO PUSH. All the sudden I was like okay okay I need to push you need to help me I need clear instructions you need to tell me when to breathe or I won't breathe alright I'm pushing I can't not push. So they went quickly from sitting and entering data into a laptop to rolling me from my side to my back and getting me situated for baby pushing.

Jordan was stationed right by my head as I grabbed my legs by my knees to brace myself. Tearing up he was saying, "You're doing it, you're doing it!" which gave me that extra bit of energy I needed. I started really pushing with the next contraction and they were talking about being able to see his hair. After that contraction I had to take a break from pushing (contractions help push the baby out) and GOODNESS GRACIOUS. I did not remember the intensity of this part from Judah's birth because I was so out of it and it was such an out of body experience. Well this was an IN BODY experience and I felt every bit of it. I resolved to get him out with the next contraction. During this very short break that felt like a thousand years they asked me if I wanted to reach down and feel his head. I was breathing very hard trying not to push and barely able to respond but in a low moan said NOOOOOO. I could not let go of my legs for a second.

The next contraction came. I pushed with all my might. Jordan turned on the song we had picked, Coldplay's "Amazing Day".

And just like that, after about 5 minutes of pushing, he came. After his head came out the rest of him felt like nothing. I remember them telling me to grab him myself but I just couldn't physically do it so they laid him on my chest. Our first reaction was that he was SO small. Our second reaction was that he was SO loud. Really. Really. Loud. Jordan and I looked at each other like what have we gotten ourselves into.

We met our sweet, strong, dimpled, little Levi Jordan Shelley at 10:29 pm on May 18, 2016. He weighed 5 lbs. 11 oz. and was 19.5 inches long.

He continued to lay on my chest and the nurse encouraged us to let him do the "crawl" to breastfeed and it was amazing to see. In other words, I didn't have to even move him, he moved and found where he needed to go and what he needed to do to eat instinctively. We let him eat for as long as he wanted before letting the family come in. They were waiting outside the door also amazed at how loud the little guy was.

My feelings at this point were mainly ones of relief. I kept saying that I was so glad to not be in labor anymore! I was happy to meet Levi but mostly just simply relieved to be done with the birth.

They helped me deliver the placenta and I expected them to stitch me up next which I was not looking forward to. Much to my surprise, Margaret told me I didn't need any and that I hadn't torn at all. HALLELUJAH. This proved to be a huge factor in a quick recovery and for that I am so, so thankful. It was AMAZING how normal I felt due to the lack of tearing. I walked around with relative ease almost immediately. The human body is incredible.

I put on my pj's and told them to send the family in. Jordan's younger brother Joseph and his wife Caitlin were there with both sets of our parents. We called/Facetimed our other siblings and told them all his name. For both births, telling them the name was one of my favorite parts. I will never forget seeing the joy of our family. They cheered and were SO excited to meet him. My dad had mentioned the name Levi as a suggestion during the pregnancy and he did a victorious fist pump in the air.

Levi had stopped crying at this point and they passed him around while I chugged more Gatorade and realized how hungry I was. The Shelley side of the family went to our house to relieve the babysitter and my dad went to get us some biscuits. I was already wanting to go home to sleep but we had to stay there a few more hours for them to make sure both Levi and I were stable and healthy.

I took a WONDERFUL shower and remember standing there feeling so happy to not be pregnant or in labor. I knew I had a lot ahead of me but at this time the Lord truly filled me with peace.

Levi absolutely hated being checked out, measured, and weighed and cried his head off some more. Jordan and I relaxed in the big, comfy bed while eating our food and then I fed Levi again. I remember thinking, "Already? I should feed him again?" and it hitting me how often newborns eat. It's crazy how quickly I had forgotten.

My parents went home, the nurse pushed on my stomach a million times to help my uterus start the process of getting back to normal (ugh), and they went through all of the check-out info with us. They told us they would call us the next day and visit our home the day after and helped us out to the car. We put his tiny body in the car seat as best as we could and made our way home at about 2:30am. Some people may think this is crazy but it was perfect to me.

We jumped right into our routine of being in our room with Levi beside our bed sleeping. I went to sleep happily without my pregnancy pillow, so glad to have my husband beside me again.

And just like that, we were a family of four. :) All praise and glory to the Lord.

Here is the video Jordan's brother Joseph made from Levi's birthday. It's something I will always treasure.

More posts to come about Judah meeting his little bro, the first weeks with Levi, and life with two babies!

Levi's Birth Story - Part 1

2016-08-10T16:39:00.001-04:00

I prayed for a short and easier labor and delivery this time. I knew that the Lord would help me do it again regardless, but I still prayed.

I prayed for a full night's sleep before the birth. I prayed for the labor not to be all in my back again.

The Lord said no to these prayers.

BUT, God. God not only gave me the grace and strength for a tough birth again, but He said "yes" to things I didn't even know to pray for.

I'll start with Tuesday, May 17, 2016.

Tuesday is the day of the week when my mom, a.k.a. "Nana", comes over to hang out with Judah while I go to appointments/run errands/work/rest my formerly weary pregnant self. On this Tuesday (at 38 weeks) I was feeling SO TIRED and as I told my mom, "over it" physically. It was quite difficult to pick up Judah and I couldn't play with him on the floor anymore. I was so glad she was coming that day. I had so many things to do, but when she got there I decided to take a much needed nap. The whole pregnancy I had trouble actually going to sleep for a nap but that day I totally zonked out.

As in Judah's birth story, this was helpful later.

I needed to wrap up some before-baby stuff, such as shipping off the last order of Lettered Pine signs for a while. I also got a pedicure which was glorious. I was craving McDonald's that day (mainly the sweet tea) and ate there by myself. While I was sitting there, I started noticing some weird crampy feelings that felt a little different than the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having. Hmmm. But they went away and I continued on with my errands.

That night Jordan had a basketball game and his parents came to visit from Greensboro. Again, the weird feelings came. I didn't say anything, but wondered if it meant something. After the game Jordan and I went to our Tuesday night small group and the cramps returned again. Then again later as we talked Jordan's parents when we got home. It was always when I was sitting down and being still.

Before bed, when Jordan prayed with me and we said our goodnights, I told him, "I think it will be tomorrow." Which may not be the best thing to tell your husband before he tries to go to sleep. (Sorry, babe.)

We had been sleeping in separate beds for a few weeks since my giant pregnancy pillow and large self were taking up the majority of the bed and I was getting up to go to the bathroom multiple times a night. So he headed to the guest room and we tried to get some sleep.

11:30 pm

It was taking me a little while to fall asleep and as soon as I got comfortable -- there it was. A real contraction.

"Nope. Noooope. That was just a tease. If I ignore it, I can just go to sleep. Then they can start back in the morning if they want. It was probably nothing. How long has it been since I felt it? Too long. So it probably wasn't real. Okay. Sleep time. OH GOOD GRIEF ANOTHER ONE IS HAPPENING. No. No. No."

If you recall in Judah's birth story, the timeline went like this: went into early labor around dinner time, real contractions started around midnight, never slept, labored all day, Judah was stuck, missed another night of sleep, finally born in the morning after 30+ hours. So one of my main concerns was actually getting sleep this time. But that was not meant to be. Again.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016.

1:30 am

After a couple hours of laying there trying to sleep in between contractions, I decided to get up and take a shower. I thought maybe a change in position and the hot water could slow things down, but the contractions continued to increase in intensity and frequency. After the shower I started to actually time the contractions. (I suggest the BabyCenter app for this! So helpful!)

3:30 am

The contractions were consistent and I had to stand up and sway through them. Last time they weren't like this until much later, so it made me think that this could really be happening. I decided to head over to the guest room and wake Jordan up. He was pretty foggy at first but knew that I meant business when I couldn't talk through them at all.

4:45 am

I called the birth center. I wanted so badly to wait until actual daytime hours but I was afraid that this kid would come much faster and they had told me to call when the contractions were 6-7 minutes apart since this was my second baby. (I seriously know at least four people who have had their second babies in the car or at home in the past year and a half because they came so fast, so I was NOT taking any chances!) At this point the contractions were 5-6 minutes apart and lasting around a minute each. They told me to come in and I would see a new midwife whose name I didn't recognize. Jordan called my parents and asked if they could come over to be with Judah and they came right over. Yay for parents who are only 15 minutes away!

5:30 am

Having contractions in the car was no fun. Thankfully we live less than 10 minutes away from the birth center. The new midwife (whose name I frustratingly can't remember) was super nice and didn't make me feel badly at all about it being so early. She checked me and the baby and I was disappointed to find out I was only 4 cm dilated and 60% effaced. BUT, the baby was in a good position which was encouraging to me after how it was with Judah. I had back labor again, but his head was actually engaged and ready, so that was a relief to know. She told us that a room was ready if I wanted to hang out there without actually being admitted. The tub was extremely tempting, but we decided to go back home.

6:30 am

We got home and turned on a 30 for 30 documentary to distract me (the one about the Magic team with Shaq. I love Shaq.) Jordan dozed off and I continued to sway through contractions and eat.

If you read my advice to myself for labor I knew I should eat well and try to rest as much as I could to help me later on. I ate lightly all throughout the day -- toast with peanut butter, bananas, smoothies, a sandwich. I also drank a LOT of water.

It was good to see Judah when he woke up, but my mom stayed to play with him while I retreated to our bedroom to try to rest. The contractions slowed WAY down at this point. This was both frustrating and helpful -- I wasn't progressing like I wanted, but I was also able to kind of rest. I mean, they were still difficult to get through, but I tried to conserve my energy as much as possible. I remember thinking maybe I'll have him by lunchtime. That'd be nice. Nope.

The timing gets fuzzy here, but Jordan's parents came at some point in the middle of the day. Just like last time, I was SO glad for them to be there for Jordan. Instead of him having to talk to me about being anxious or voicing any concerns, he was able to lean into them for that support. We've learned that Jordan gets really nervous when I'm in labor to the point where it physically affects him and he is sick on his stomach, poor guy. He was sweet to not convey this to me and to be strong, but he told me that it is really hard for him to see me in pain like that.

During labor at home

The next midwife on call, Margaret, called to check in on me. We had her for our first appointment this pregnancy which was the only one Jordan had gone to at the birth center. We had both loved her and that was encouraging to know she would be the one there when the time came. She told me to continue to rest and that sometimes things slow down for as much as a day before they kick into high gear and it's baby time. It helped to know that this was normal, but at the same time I was like noooo let's just do this thing.

5:00 pm

Sometime in the early evening Jordan and I took a walk. I thought I had been resting long enough and could NOT lay down through any more contractions. It was a cold, dreary day for May but I had to get outside since it wasn't raining at the moment. We walked through the neighborhood at a snail's pace, but I would power walk through contractions. We were still discussing names and testing out how they sounded. We were even throwing in some new ones, which was scaring me. Were we really this close to having our baby and didn't have a name? But at least it was something to talk about.

My sweet grandma brought dinner for everyone and my brother in law and sister in law arrived. I was glad to see them (and Judah LOVED it) but it also got me thinking that I needed to hurry up and have this kid. I didn't want everyone to have to wait around like last time. I took another shower for the hot water to soothe my back a little. I would've stayed in there forever if I could have.

We turned on another 30 for 30 about Jeremy Lin (so good) and ate dinner. I stayed in the room with them mostly and preferred for them to ignore me and continue talking when I had contractions. The contractions had been consistent again for a few hours, but they were still 6-7 minutes apart. I knew I wasn't at the end of labor, but I also knew my body had done a lot of work since that morning. TMI -- the urge to pee would NOT go away.

6:45 pm

I called Margaret. She said she was about to call me and tell me to come in and get checked before she left (they had just had a birth). I told her how things were going and she said that it didn't sound like I was ready to stay there and she would probably just give me some medication to help me sleep, and then hopefully I would wake up in crazy intense labor. Even though it wasn't what I wanted, it was good to have a plan.

So Jordan and I headed to the birth center again. And that's where Part 2 will pick up. :)

Arriving at the birth center

Pregnancy This Time Around

2016-05-06T16:37:00.001-04:00

I haven't done any pregnancy updates this time. This will probably be the ONE post about it. More so than not making it a priority, I feel like I JUST wrote about pregnancy and haven't felt like documenting it, haha. So I thought I'd write a little before I actually have this new baby.

Praise the LORD that I haven't had hyperemesis this time. Yes, I've been sick, and I still take medicine for it (Unisom + B6), but it's not much compared to the awfulness of HG. As soon as I found out I was pregnant again I prayed and prayed not to have it. God would have totally given me the grace to get through it if I did, but I thank Him every day that I don't.

Because of that, I have been gaining weight at a much more normal pace this time! I'm 37 weeks now and have gained 30 pounds exactly. So not drastically different, but more steady and healthful for sure. Last time I packed on some pounds at the end to help him grow.

For the first trimester I was basically in survival mode though. So many days I wouldn't have the energy to move from the couch until Judah absolutely needed me to (before he was mobile!). Especially when I was pregnant and still breastfeeding....I have never felt such constant exhaustion. I would pray through each time I had to get up and change his diaper. Partially because I had no energy and partially due to the nausea. But we got through it -- with lots of grace, help from Jordan and my mom, and a sweet, easy going little baby. :)

This pregnancy has definitely seemed to go by faster since all of our thoughts aren't on the new baby. Sometimes I have felt guilty for how little I think of him compared to how I thought of Judah. I told Jordan that I feel badly that I haven't talked to him as much, but Jordan said that this baby actually hears more of my voice due to how much I talk to Judah throughout the day which is true. Now that it's getting toward the end it's really hitting me that we'll have another little buddy and I'm getting more excited to meet him!

Last time we also had to do more to prepare for Judah's arrival going from nonparents to parents, so I also think it feels different this time since we already have most of the stuff we need. Especially since it's another boy which is super convenient for clothes and such! My sweet mom just threw me a baby "sprinkle" last weekend which made it much more real. We are loaded up on diapers and wipes now which is awesome!

I feel more aware this time of how things will change when we have a newborn and I'm breastfeeding again. Since I know how we'll be more tied down, we've been doing a LOT of activities before I'm full term -- going out of town a lot, taking time as a couple, getting together with friends, saying "yes" to lots of things. It's been tiring, but I'm glad we've been taking advantage of this time.

This time around I've had more aches and pains and have felt very pregnant quickly. My back and ribs have given me a lot of trouble this time. I remember having some of that before, but not like this. Tylenol doesn't help and the pain prevents me from sleeping. It's gotten a little better since the baby has shifted into a more helpful position, but I still do a lot of stretching, yoga, and heating pad time to help.

I can tell that I've been swelling a little bit which is earlier that I did last time. And I feel less cute...I know that sounds dumb but just being honest. I think some of that has to do with being very pregnant at a different time of year and wearing clothes for warmer weather -- more exposure for my swollen self. We went to the beach last weekend with our small group and I thought I may feel self conscious in a bathing suit but it was actually the opposite. I felt even more comfortable than usual! Weird. Kinda makes sense though since I know that last time I was much more self conscious of my body AFTER having the baby. Which is something I need to go ahead and just let go of now for sure. Grace all around.

For most of the pregnancy I've been pretty much emotionally numb, but in the last few weeks I've been MUCH more sensitive. Huge bouts of crying over mostly nothing. Poor Jordan. Even though it's unpredictable and not fun when I'm super moody, I actually prefer the emotion over a complete lack of it. I'll touch on this more later in another post I'm sure.

This week I've hit nesting mode and now Judah's new room and the nursery are ready. I loved getting out those tiny newborn clothes again and getting itty bitty diapers ready. There are other things I'd love to do before he gets here but the essentials are taken care of.

I am still in shock of what God has planned for our family. I never thought we'd be doing all this again so soon. I keep reminding myself that God made this kid for us to be his parents and in this exact timing. It is truly a gift albeit an overwhelming gift. We are thankful and scared. More confident in some things this time, less confident in others. Lots of different feelings. But so, so thankful.

Pink Blush Maternity Dress

2016-04-27T12:05:00.001-04:00

Now that I've been wearing maternity clothes for basically two years and have been pregnant in every season of the year, I've figured out what I like to wear. Most of the time I'm wearing basics and rotating the same outfits over and over.

For special occasions like baby showers or pictures I prefer to wear a dress. Something cute AND comfy.

I loved PinkBlush maternity dresses and tunics last pregnancy, so when they offered to collaborate and send me a gorgeous dress for my baby "sprinkle" I was pumped.

This navy lace overlay dress is beautiful, airy, comfortable, and was perfect for my shower. I could move around and lean over easily without messing with the dress, which is huge when you're opening gifts and giving out hugs left and right!

To win a $75 gift card to PinkBlush (doesn't have to be their maternity line!) hop over to my Instagram and enter there! The giveaway will run from 12 pm EST 4/27/16 through 12 pm EST 4/28/16 and the winner will be announced on the Instagram post on Monday, 5/2/16, after I contact the winner.

You are ineligible to win if you have won a gift card to PinkBlush in the past 3 months.

Happy entering! :)

Judah's 1st Birthday Party

2016-04-06T16:33:00.001-04:00

For Judah's 1st birthday, I was conflicted. I wanted to do something special without going overboard or breaking the bank. After doing some research and finding some cheap party decorations at Walmart and Target, I told Jordan that I thought we could invite everyone we want and make it under $100. So we went for it, and it was a fun challenge!

It really couldn't have gone better and I was super happy with how it turned out. I didn't do a theme, just wanted to make it Judah themed since he probably wouldn't have appreciated a theme anyway. :)

Firstly, the invitations. I've used Vista Print multiple times before and have been pleased with the value, speed, and quality. They almost always have some sort of coupon code to use if you search for one, and this time it was 25% off invitations. Perfect. Since you can customize it with pictures, the invitation doubled as a keepsake for us and people who care about that kinda thing like grandparents. We sent out around 30 invites and this was included in the budget.

I had some pictures printed off of Instagram from Walgreens and Parabo Press for this picture window.If it's your first order from Parabo you can get 25 square prints for free (plus shipping) and they are excellent quality. They are the ones with the white border. I have the window up all of the time and use it for cards and photos. It's an old window with lace behind it and twine with tiny clothes pins.

This is a chalkboard that stays in that spot all the time, so I changed it for the party. I used chalk markers from Michael's for the lettering. It was made from an old crib! Our good friend/relative made it and her pieces can be found here on Facebook.

This could easily be done just using black paper or foam board if you don't have a big chalkboard.

Instead of going all out with decorations throughout the house, I wanted to focus on one spot where I knew the most pictures would be taken. Here is my advice on that:

Pick a place in your house/venue that gets good light
Imagine the area in pictures or even take test pictures beforehand
Think about the look you're going for and what colors you will use before you shop
Pick colors that will flow nicely with the decor of your home/that room
Go through your house or stash of party stuff to see if you already have things you can use
Decide what you want the eye to be drawn to in pictures, which will probably be the birthday boy/girl :)
Focus your time, money, and effort in that spot

Since his birthday is in March, it was difficult to plan if it should be outside or inside. The weather can vary so much. To ease my mind I decided to stick indoors.

We don't have a large, open gathering area in our home but we made do with the living room. The colors are neutral and I knew I'd love the white and gray background of the fireplace and wall. It gets pretty good light when the sun is out, and thankfully it was. :)

The banners/bunting were from Target and Walmart. I struck gold at Target when I found their adorable Spritz line of party decor on clearance, and then an extra percentage off clearance through the Cartwheel app. This included plates, napkins, party hats, paper straws, the cake topper, garland, and banners. Everything was from Target except the chalkboard picture banner from Walmart. Some of it isn't available anymore, I guess that's why it was on clearance!

Here are some of the items I purchased along with ones I didn't end up using but will in the future:

I was going to make a banner for Judah's monthly pictures, but found this chalkboard flag banner at Walmart for only 2 DOLLARS. Craziness. I got two of them since they had 10 flags each and used some leftover to make the tiny "ONE" banner for Judah's chair. I just cut the flags down smaller for that one. It even came with chalk.

I had his monthly pictures printed in squares from mpix and simply taped them onto the banner. Afterward I took them off to put in his baby book.

We were going to use his big high chair for cake time but then realized it would be easier to use his portable Ingenuity booster seat strapped onto one of our dining chairs. It was less bulky and we could take the tray off and keep him in it for presents if he obliged. (He did for a while.)

This ridiculously cute chalk board banner cake topper was included in the Target clearance haul and I can't find it online. I can't find a similar one either. You could always make it with some time and effort, but I'm glad I didn't have to. Haha. :)

The DELICIOUS AMAZING INCREDIBLY YUMMY cake is from Nothing Bundt Cakes. Cannot rave about these cakes enough, they are so perfectly moist with just the right amount of icing. A little goes a long way. Judah's little cake was a "bundtlet" from there and he loved it (after getting used to it).

And now for a few fun party pictures. He had a blast with his most favorite people! I think the decorations made for a great picture background. Somehow a lamp was turned on which I did NOT want (yellow picturessss! nooooo!) but oh well. They're still cute. Judah's birthday shirt was a gift from my mom from Gymboree. Major props to Jordan's brother Joseph for taking the pictures during cake and present time. What a guy.

We had an amazing time celebrating our boy and the joy he's brought us in the past year. Shout out to our moms for bringing some delicious finger foods which was a huge help, both to me and to our budget. :) We had the party in the afternoon so we didn't serve a meal. We served fruit, veggies, finger sandwiches, cheese and crackers, pretzels, sausage dip and chips, doughnut holes, angel food cake with strawberries, and birthday cake. YUM.

Judah had a blast playing with his little buddies and seeing his friends and family. We were overwhelmed with love.

Will we reuse everything for baby #2's first birthday? Hmmm....probably. :)

Our Normal Day: Judah 1 Year

2016-04-01T12:17:00.001-04:00

In the past couple months Judah and I have really fallen into a groove. I love it. I love knowing what to expect (which is not common as a new parent or just being a parent in general of course) and am cherishing it before he moves on to a new schedule eventually. And before the new baby comes and the schedule disintegrates before my eyes.

Here is Judah's one year old day if we were to not go anywhere.

7:00 -- 8:00 am

I wake up sometime between 7 and 7:30 depending on what I need to be ready for that day and if I'm washing my hair or not (which changes EVERYTHING). I get ready, eat breakfast which is always always always 2 pieces of toast, one with peanut butter, one with homemade strawberry jelly. I have a jelly dealer at Jordan's work. Seriously. And chocolate milk to drink. I don't drink coffee anymore as lately I prefer only iced coffee and haven't found anything I love for home. So chocolate milk it is. Which I drink sometimes at night too. Basically 80% of my pregnancy weight gain is due to chocolate milk. I digress.

While I eat breakfast and through the rest of the time before Judah wakes up I have my devotional time, which usually spills over into when he is awake but the completely focused time is pre-Judah wakeup.

8:00ish -- 9:30 am

Judah wakes up usually around 8. He's a slow riser, making little noises and movements for a while and I let him have some time to get out of the sleepy zone before I go in there. If he wakes up before 8 then Jordan will go get him so he can see him before he leaves for work. If this happens then we love to watch "Dada's truck" leave and Judah waves bye-bye, unless he is thinking about the fact that his favorite person in the world is leaving for the day and cries which does happen. He's a little obsessed with Jordan.

He still drinks a bottle first thing and we haven't been rushing to get rid of it. No more formula, though! Hurray! He loves milk.

Then he goes straight into play time. He usually forgets about me for at least 20-30 minutes (unless I eat something of course) as he rediscovers some of his toys. This is what I meant by my devotional time being extended during this time. He is usually GREAT at playing independently which is nice, but I play with him a lot as well. I hope he keeps that up when #2 gets here but we'll see. So I try to get some housework or random things done at this time as well.

9:30 -- 10/10:30

Judah's breakfast time. My snack time. We sit together at the kitchen table eating and laughing. At the end of his breakfast time I read a children's Bible to him and pray. It's gotten to the point where he asks for me to read it by pointing and trying to say Bible (which sounds a lot like bye-bye except for the voice inflection) and it's adorable. I am super dramatic with the stories and he loves it. Then we pray. Well, I pray and he tries to say "amen" but it's usually just "mmm".

After breakfast he may play a little bit more and then we read some books before nap. He loves books and it helps him wind down for his next sleepy time. He is not anywhere close to dropping this nap and gets so sleepy after 2-2.5 hours of being awake. I feel the same way these days...

10:30 -- 12:00

First nap. Since I am a hungry pregnant beast I usually go ahead and eat lunch by 11 or so. I really can't eat around him without him wanting all my food so nap times include food for me for sure. During this time I may finish getting ready if that needs to be done. Most of the time I do house work and listen to a podcast because I'm obsessed with podcasts. If we are going somewhere after this nap then I get things ready for that.

12:00 -- 2:00

More play time. Lunch for Judah. If we have places to go it's usually during this time.

2:00 -- 3:00

If we are home for the day then we almost always go for a walk to the park during this time. He loves being outside and we have a little park in our neighborhood with a beautiful greenway leading to it. It's my favorite thing about our neighborhood. He swings at the park and is OVERJOYED if there are kids there for him to watch and wave to. He loves kids and toddlers. Not sure about babies but we'll find out soon.

3:00/3:30 -- 4:30

Second nap. More time for me to get stuff done. And EAT of course. And prep dinner if I didn't do that already. When am I gonna do these things when #2 gets here? No clue. God bless this time of 2 naps.

4:30 -- 5:45

Snack. Play time. Occasionally Judah will watch some Sesame Street. We never have the tv on when he's up unless it's Sesame Street or a ball game so he probably thinks those are the only things that live in that black box. It's not that I'm against tv, I just don't watch it really unless I'm with Jordan. And we don't have cable. So it's not on. I love the quiet. Our culdesac is REALLY quiet....like someone will shut their car door outside and I'm like ugh stop with the noise. As I type each paragraph I realize more and more how much this new baby is going to change things. I'm in for it.

Usually sometime in this hour we both start getting antsy for Jordan to get home so I pull out the favorite toy that stays hidden otherwise because he goes nuts to play with it -- the Tupperware shape sorter ball. This is my trick to make him happy if he's being fussy at home. The catch is that he needs me to actively help him do it. He can put the shapes in their places by himself but I have to show him where they go and hold the ball steady. The moment he puts the last shape in he starts to cry because they're all gone, that's how much he loves this thing. It is getting more difficult as I get larger to play with him on the floor so I usually limit the shape ball to three times. When he can do it by himself he'll probably work on it like an 8 hour work day.

5:45 -- 7:45

DADA IS HOME and all is right with the world. This may include a bike ride, hanging out in the garage/gym with our friend Eric, crazy tickling and wrestling on the floor, guitar playing, etc. Now that I list some of these activities out I can see why Judah is ecstatic to have Dada home. He's a fun guy. We usually have commitments at least 2 or 3 week nights but this is how it goes when we're all at home. We all eat dinner around 6:30.

7:45 -- 8:15

Usually we end the night's play time with a family dance session. It's pretty hilarious. Then it's bath time, bottle, bed. Which we've done since about week 2 of his life. He's so sweet before bed that it's always hard to say goodnight. But then we are eager to have Jordan & Ashley time so it's not THAT hard... :)

One Year of Judah

2016-03-24T14:36:00.002-04:00

One whole year with our Judah William.

A year of change, sanctification, growth, and so much joy.

A year of being thrown into something completely new and learning more about parenting and about ourselves every single day.

A year FULL of God's grace. Over and over again. Grace upon grace.

It is such a joy to be his mom. This is such a mom video so I don't expect you to love it, but here it is if you're interested. :)

Judah's Name and Thinking of #2

2016-02-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

The name Judah didn't come as an a-ha moment and we didn't finalize it on a certain day, it just kinda happened over time.In my pregnancy devotional, I stuck a sticky note that Jordan brought home from work one day back in the fall. He had written some name suggestions that had popped into his mind, and "Judah" was on that list. We had already discussed how we like Biblical place names, especially because Jordan is one, but I hadn't thought of Judah as an option yet.When thinking about a name, there were three categories we were trying to choose from. We could have used a family name, a Biblical name, or a name we just simply liked for no particular reason. We decided to go with a family name for the middle name which was an easy decision. William is Jordan's middle name and is the first name of both of his grandfathers. William was probably number one on the list of family names contending for the first name, but ultimately we chose to use it in the middle. Here is a picture of William Harvey Shelley, Jordan William Shelley, and Judah William Shelley.

As Jordan would tell you, I over-analyzed every name suggestion. I was very picky about how I wanted it to sound. For instance, there were several names we liked that ended in "s" or "sh" but I didn't love how they flowed into "Shelley". One example is the name Silas, which I really like but that would make for all kinds of ssss-ing when saying the full name. Others may love that but it seemed difficult for me to say.I also wanted it to be easy to say and spell, and not have terrible nickname potential (though you can't really prevent that, hence the nickname Trashley). We liked the nickname Jude, so that was another plus.
We loved how Judah got his name in the Bible. After much frustration, Leah chose the name Judah and said "this time I will praise the Lord". (Gen. 29:35) Judah means "praise" and we LOVE that. His grandparents quickly made up a song about it after he was born and now that's the song that makes him light up or cheers him up. Our prayer is that his life will be one of praise to the Lord.
Judah was a complex person in the Bible -- he did some great things, and he did some terrible things. Ultimately even though he made some huge mistakes, God used him in great ways and he was even in the line of Jesus. I pray that Judah will know that God doesn't use people based on performance, but gives unlimited grace.
Since there were so many reasons we loved the name Judah, it's hard for us to think about a name for this new baby. We just worked hard to decide and now we have to decide again! Haha. It may take a while. We lean toward Biblical names in what we like, so we'll see if that's what we go with. I was pretty set on a girl name, but not a boy name. That's how it goes I guess. :) I had a dream the other night that I had the baby early and we had to pick a name, and I was still uncertain in the dream. We will continue to pray about what we should name this little guy and that God will make it clear.

Labor and Delivery Tips for Myself

2016-02-10T07:00:00.000-05:00

I put "to myself" in the title because that's the main reason I wanted to write this. Some things that were helpful to me last time are still pretty fresh in my mind and I want to remember them in May/June when it comes time to deliver baby #2!

EVERY pregnancy/labor/birth is different so this isn't a know-it-all list of precisely what will help. Just simply a list of what helped me last time. I've already been having some fears about the next go around and one of the main ones is that it could be completely different from my last experience and I'll freak out. Which it very well could be, but I can't think like that. It's a new challenge, a new opportunity to trust the Lord. Our Bible study leader said that months ago about something he was facing and it's something that's stuck with me ever since. When challenges arise they are opportunities to trust God in a new way.

With that being said, here is a list of what helped me when birthing my first child. Or things that I want to do differently this time. I cannot emphasize enough that these statements are directed toward myself. :)

Take every opportunity in the labor process to sleep. Yes, it is exciting that you are in labor. But when you are on your 30th hour of hard labor you will need every minute of rest that you were able to fit in.
Eat nourishing food to fuel yourself up.
You have a lot of adrenaline going, but keep the environment calm. Turn on the Coldplay and light those candles.
Take it one contraction at a time. Don't think big picture and get overwhelmed. God will give you the grace and the strength to get through the next contraction, and that's one more closer to being done.
Don't fight the contractions. Let your body do what it needs to do. Your muscles are pushing the baby down and out. It's amazing, really. Let them do their job. Breathe through them and don't tense up. Keep your face relaxed and your voice tone low.
Find what works for you. Walking, swaying, tub, shower, exercise ball, birthing stool. laying down, whatever. Counter pressure or none. Encouraging words or silence. Just do what works.
When you throw up, that's a good sign. Things are happening.
When it feels like it's the worst and you can't go any longer, you CAN. And this is potentially the turning point. You're near the finish line.
Talk to the Lord, He is a very present help in time of need.
You will know what the urge to push is when it comes.
Listen to your body and your midwives.
When you can finally push, push with all your might when your midwife says so. Don't forget to breathe. Don't fear the pushing. The baby exit always sounds the worst, but you may not even remember it.
Cherish your time with that new baby on your chest. It's surreal, but try to let it soak in.
Let your husband take some pictures, your hands are shaking too much to do the picture taking!
Don't be afraid of getting an IV of fluids, a shot, stitches, or anything like that. It's all in your head. You just pushed out a baby, you can handle these little things! Just look at your husband and talk to him. Look at your baby and focus on that.
Take it easy on your body. The nurse is there to help you. Don't worry about getting blood anywhere, this isn't a hotel. They expect a mess!
Accept all offers of food and help from your excited family. It is not a burden on them at all and they are loving it (even with no sleep). Don't worry about being a hostess.
Take some time with your husband to reflect on what you just did. It's a lot to process and you need some alone time with him.
Eat, eat, eat! It will help you recover and breastfeed!

What I Read in 2015 & 2016 Reading List

2016-01-05T12:50:00.001-05:00

I had to share some of the books I read last year and what I'm reading now/this year. I'm so passionate about this and force book ideas on people all the time so I figured I'd compile a list here. :) I'm only going to share nonfiction because I honestly don't read fiction that much anymore and that depends so much on random personal preferences. And I'm not going to make many comments because I'm sure Amazon reviews would be more in depth anyway, haha.

The books on the left are some that I read in 2015, and the books on the right are ones that I'm currently reading or am going to read this year.

I have MANY more on my Kindle since that is my primary reading tool these days and I can find such good deals on there! Some of them will be included in the lists.

What I Read in 2015

Let Me Be a Woman by Elisabeth Elliot
You and Me Forever by Francis & Lisa Chan -- I actually stopped reading this because I want to go through it with Jordan. Otherwise I was trying to relay to him every chapter because it's so good!
For the Love by Jen Hatmaker
Give Them Grace by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick -- Has been a good way to get my mind set on showing our kids the gospel in everyday life. Can be overwhelming, but has excellent ideas.
Make it Happen by Lara Casey
The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
The Freedom of Self Forgetfulness by Timothy Keller -- This is a short and NECESSARY read. Get it.
The $100 Startup by Chris Guillebeau
Boundaries by Henry Cloud & John Townsend
Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist

Read These NOW -- These three books pertain to issues that are currently hot topics in our culture. That's why I'm suggesting you read them sooner rather than later. It can be so easy to stay in my little bubble and these helped open my eyes beyond my personal perspective. Along with the book by Scott Sauls in my 2016 list which I would group along with these, I just haven't finished that one yet.

Parenting Books

The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins -- Great reference for breastfeeding!
Baby Wise by Gary Ezzo -- This book can be controversial but I didn't see it that way at all since I just took it as suggestions and ideas. The eat/play/sleep cycle is what Judah really liked and what I really learned from in this book.
Moms on Call by Laura Hunter & Jennifer Walker -- Written by pediatric nurses, this book of bullet point lists was GREAT and something I have referred back to quite a bit.
Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read -- This was old and at times laughable but the whole concept of getting rid of fear which leads to tension and pain made so much sense to me and helped me quite a bit in Judah's birth.

2016 Reading List

The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers & Devotions
ESV Reader's Gospels -- The four gospels without chapter or verse separations, basically in regular book form.
Jesus Outside the Lines by Scott Sauls -- I've already read half of this since I got it for Christmas and it is EXACTLY what I needed to read right now. I've been so weighed down by arguments in real life but mainly on social media and how I should handle that as a follower of Jesus. This is thought provoking, convicting, and SO good so far.
Jesus Continued by JD Greear
Now You're Speaking my Language by Gary Chapman
To Live is Christ To Die is Gain by Matt Chandler
Openness Unhindered by Rosaria Champagne Butterfield
Simply Tuesday by Emily P. Freeman -- 99 cents on Amazon today only! (1/5/16)
Scary Close by Donald Miller
Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes
Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full by Gloria Furman
The Skeptical Student by Timothy Keller

Parenting Books

The above list is one of the books I actually have and will definitely read this year. I'm sure many more will be added to this list as I check them out of the Kindle Library (best invention ever, check your local library website) and acquire more. I welcome your suggestions!

I also read fiction but have to be really careful about that as I can get sucked in and it takes too much of my time. This is also possible with nonfiction of course, but it happens to me more easily with fiction. Reading can be an idol for me and I have to guard against it! Unless I'm reading the Bible of course. I usually save fiction for trips and vacations. :)

Fall Stitch Fix Review

2015-09-21T07:00:00.000-04:00

My stylist Claire totally nailed this fix. It is the perfect fall box for me.

(To read more about Stitch Fix and how it works, you can read some of my other reviews here or here!)

I haven't shared my last few boxes on here which where mainly maternity, but I have to share this one before I get to those. Let me just say that Stitch Fix is a game changer as a new mom. They sent me amazing maternity clothes last fall, then comfortable and forgiving postpartum clothes, and now this box is perfect as I get somewhat back to my normal style.

And it's so much better than going shopping! SO. MUCH. BETTER.

I was pretty specific in my note for this box. I told them that I could use some new jeans and would love them to be skinny or boot cut. And that I LOVED my maternity leggings they sent me and wanted some regular ones just like that if possible. I also said I'd love a tunic or something to wear with the leggings. I tried to pin some items to my Pinterest style board that I've been liking, because that seems to help the stylist.

So then Claire sent me those exact, perfect items.

I had a little photo shoot with myself and you'll have to excuse the mess as we are doing a lot in that room to prepare for The Lettered Pine shop which is opening October 1st. :)

Okay, so here are the Rune Kiley Ankle Zip Leggings ($58) with the RD Style Ridge Zipper Detail Cowl Neck Sweater ($64).

The leggings are such good quality and comfortable, and I love the zipper detail. They're the same brand as my maternity leggings that they sent me, so I knew they'd be great before I even put them on.

I liked the sweater much better when I put it on. It's light, comfortable, could be dressed up or down, and the perfect length for the leggings. It's a little bit longer in the back.

Next are the Freida Skinny Jeans ($98) with the Arminta Mixed Material Top ($48). I can't believe they can send me jeans that actually fit. They're definitely higher quality than the jeans I usually wear, so that may have something to do with it, but wow. The ankle holes are a little bigger than I'd like, but I'll either cuff them or tuck them in anyway so it doesn't really matter.

The top is like fancy + sweatshirt. So cool. The back bottom part is sweatshirt material. The color is gorgeous for fall and I love the relaxed fit!

Lastly, with the same jeans, here is the Alishia Scoop Hem Knit Pocket Tee ($44). This is so comfy and cute. A great fall transition piece for sure.

I kept the whole box which meant I got a 25% discount. YAY. So the total was $214 for all 5 pieces. And yes, I get credit when people use my referral link, which is awesome. So go ahead and use that link to get your first fix, then you can share your own referral link and build up credit! You get $25 credit for each person who gets their first fix with your link! DO IT. :)

For help picking out what you want, you can browse the Stitch Fix Pinterest and pin those items, or just tell them the type of things you want like I did. It can help to be specific! Especially after you've gotten stuff before and they get to know your style and fit.

Let me know if you try it!

New Favorite Bible Companion: Write the Word Journal

2015-09-04T11:16:00.002-04:00

Last week, my mom gave me a little gift. I had seen the Write the Word journal by Lara Casey online, but hadn't thought much about getting it for myself since I already have other tools to help me study the Bible.

But, wow, I am so thankful she gave it to me. I've been using it for a week now and LOVE it.

It's beautifully made -- sturdy, yet flexible. Made out of vegan leather, so it's easy to clean and wipe off, which is nice since I've already gotten a few stray pen marks on the white cover. The gold foil details are such a pretty touch.

The inside cover has white and blue stripes, along with a space to write or draw whatever you want. Your name, an inspiring phrase or verse, a picture. I love how the pages are thick enough to accommodate my brush pens without bleeding through.

One little thing that makes a big difference to me personally is that it LAYS FLAT. I love how it can do that without a spiral binding. Genius. It also has a handy bookmark.

Of course, what matters is the inside. Why and how do I actually use it?

First, there is a spot for Today Is -- the date, an adjective, what you're doing that day, etc.

Then, there's a box titled I'm Grateful For for a quick time of reflection and thanksgiving.

After that is where you actually Write the Word. There's a Scripture reference at the top of this section and space to write it out below. The Scripture passages aren't random, they were specially selected. This Volume 1 journal contains selections from Matthew, Mark, Proverbs, and Psalm. There are 100 pages including an intro and 49 Scripture passages.

Then on the right side, there is a section for On My Heart Today. This is where you write whatever you want -- response to the passage, prayer, lists, drawings, anything. That's what's so great about this journal, it prompts me JUST enough but also gives me the freedom to use it in my own personal way.

What I have personally enjoyed doing is this process:

Fill out the top 2 sections
Read the passage in my ESV journaling Bible
Write the passage
Read the passage on my phone in another version
Write the passage in that different version
Read through both versions of the passage
Respond in prayer

It may sound like a lot, but it doesn't take that much time and it really helps me to repeat the reading and to use different versions. I love that there is space to do that, too. Sometimes I've read a passage so many times in one version that it's hard for it sink in, so that's why I like to do some comparisons and get a fresh take on it. I find that I can better dwell on it throughout the day when I read it multiple times and write it out.

That's why I love this journal. The simplicity of it has been so beneficial, especially as a new mom. Above any other books or studies to help me, I NEED Scripture and I NEED prayer. That is how I get to know God better, how He communicates with me, how I grow closer to Him. It's not just a fun thing to do (and it's not always fun anyway, it can be tough and convicting, not just warm and fuzzy!), it's a necessity. This journal has helped me to get back to the basics.

Since Volume 1 is officially sold out already, I'm so glad that more of these will be coming out. Sign me up for allllll the volumes! You can't beat the price at $15, either. You will be able to get it at the Lara Casey Shop and check out the hashtag on Instagram: #writetheword. Let me know if you get one and love it, too!

*Disclaimer: affiliate links have been used in this post. I love the Lara Casey shop and am honored to be an affiliate with them! :)

Judah's Birth Story -- Part 2

2015-04-20T18:23:00.000-04:00

Judah William's Birth Story Part 2
You can read Part 1 here.
This is long. You've been warned again. :)
Sometime around 9pm on Saturday, 3/14/15, we headed to the birth center. Jordan and I went in first to make sure we were there to stay, but the rest of the family followed close behind. When I had talked to Luanne on the phone she asked me which one of the three birthing suites I wanted and I chose the one I had been in the most (in appointments and classes) because I was familiar with it. We were the only ones there so the whole place was all ours! Haha.

Luanne checked me and said I was 6-7cm dilated so we were there to stay! We brought all our stuff in and the family settled into the front waiting area to watch the ACC championship game and play cards. They seemed to have a jolly good time of which I'm glad especially since they were such troopers and stayed through the whole night. :)
I met the nurse/doula named Tracy who would be attending the birth with the midwife. Luanne was more of an all-business type and Tracy was the lovey-dovey-fuzzy-encouraging one so they really balanced each other out and made a great team. I was so thankful for them and felt as though they truly cared about us and the baby. For the first couple hours they let us be alone besides checking in to see if we needed anything and to monitor my blood pressure and Judah's heartbeat. They gave me a robe to put on, lit some candles, and filled the tub for me to labor in.

I continued with my swaying through contractions tactic mainly using the birthing ball on the bed as pictured. This ball had stuff in it so it wouldn't roll around which was nice. I tried to sit on it but didn't like that during contractions, it felt best to be standing. Laying down through a contraction was the WORST so I definitely wasn't doing that at all.

I didn't use a certain method or anything, but had done a good amount of reading about birth without medication and had taken the "Birth Out of Hospital" classes at the birth center. I knew that to let my body do what it needed to do, I needed to go with the flow and not fight the contractions. One thing I had learned was the cycle of fear/stress --> tension --> increased pain --> more fear --> more tension --> more pain, etc. It was truly the Lord who lessened my feelings of fear through Scripture, Jordan's encouragement, and a supernatural sense of peace. Whenever I felt myself tensing up through a contraction, I would keep swaying, control my breathing, and whisper "relax" over and over as I relaxed my muscles as much as I could.

When the tub was ready I was eager to get in and see if it helped with my back labor. It felt fantastic. The water temperature was just right (I was afraid they wouldn't let it be hot enough for my liking) and I was able to relax more and sip on Gatorade. Jordan pulled up my Spotify playlist of all Coldplay only Coldplay (my favorite band ever). I still swayed and moved through the contractions, but let the water hold my weight. It was cool how they could still monitor Judah's heartbeat regularly under the water with the doppler.

Many people had been asking if I was going to do a water birth. My response was usually, "We'll just have to see!" because I really didn't know. I didn't know how the tub would feel to me but kept an open mind without ruling it out. I knew that if being in the water helped and the baby started coming, I probably wouldn't want to hop outta the tub and dry off while fighting an urge to push. And it really helped us to see videos of water births at our classes. So I just kept it as an option and wanted to see how it would play out. I loved being in the water, but it seemed to be slowing my progress down as the contractions became a little further apart.

They suggested that I get out and walk for a while to really get things going. We walked around the birth center and went to talk to the family out front. They were so happy to see us and couldn't believe how cheerful I was to be that far along. Yeah, the contractions weren't fun or anything, but I was just so happy to be there and excited. The environment and Jordan were really keeping me calm and peaceful, and everything was still so manageable at this point.

Remember how Jordan was still fighting a stomach bug? And how he also has two herniated discs in his back and hasn't even been able to walk normally for months? The Lord totally answered our prayers with a yes and gave him the strength he needed. He took one of my Zofran pills (the last person to take one wasn't me! ha!) and was able to eat some food. I'm sure some of it was him being strong for my sake but I wouldn't have even noticed at the birth center that he felt badly or that his back hurt. He was SO positive and encouraging in just the right way, helping me in any way possible.

It seemed like time was going by so quickly. It's hard to remember what all we did during this time -- mainly just walking around, talking, and listening to Coldplay. I do remember that when she checked me again, I was 9cm and we were talking about how it probably wasn't possible for him to have a Pi Day birthday (3/14) anymore because it was getting close to midnight. But we thought it'd be REALLY soon.

And then 5.5 hours later he was born. The end.

........just kidding. :) This is the not as pleasant part that Jordan doesn't like to revisit in his mind. (I've been getting him to help me remember stuff.) And I can't come close to remembering it all because it's such a blur. But I'll try.

After that last time before midnight I never looked at the clock again. I had no sense of time at all. I didn't want to know how long it was taking. But at this point my body was completely ready -- fully dilated, cervix thinned, all systems go -- but little Judah was not. He was cozy right where he was and didn't want to budge.

That whole posterior, head tilted and not down thing was still fully in effect. My water wasn't breaking and I had no urge to push whatsoever. So this was a weird time for me. The whole time I had a goal to reach -- get to 10 cm! And now that I was at 10 cm, what was I supposed to do? Keep having contractions that were continuing to increase in intensity and were one on top of another forever? I remember thinking to myself, "This could never end. He may just stay in there. How long could he stay in there?" and then also thinking, "What actually IS an urge to push? Am I having them and not knowing it? That seems ridiculous...an URGE is something that you definitely feel. What if I don't want to feel it? I'm really scared to push. I'm REALLY scared to tear. Maybe I should just not do this."

I could feel the fear coming on and I didn't want it to. Not one bit. So I asked if I could get back in the water. They suggested a shower, and the shower had a separate sprayer thing that Jordan could point at the exact spot on my back where all the pressure was. I thought this sounded excellent. It was a walk in shower area next to the where the toilet was. (Let me just mention that the toilet seat was heated. Heavenly.)

Jordan put on his bathing suit and helped me into the shower. Those two bars that you see in the picture were perfect for me to lean on and let Jordan spray my back. Ohhh man my back. The pressure in my lower back was so intense and concentrated, it covered an area about the size of a softball. Not at all what I imagined labor to be like. I think we were in there quite a while. I was SO SLEEPY. Couldn't hold my eyes open. I was trying to stay fueled with food and hydrated with water and Gatorade, but then I threw up. I knew this was a good sign that things were still happening, but here's what was going on.

Judah still wasn't moving down at all.
My water wasn't breaking.
I was still having no urge to push.
It was starting to take too long, especially since I was already completely dilated.
My blood pressure was getting too high.
With two nights of no sleep I was extremely tired.
Since I had mainly been up and at 'em the whole time we were there and was throwing up, I had no energy. They tried to get me to do some squats in the shower while holding onto the bar, but I could NOT do it.

Throughout all this, Judah's heartbeat was fine, praise the Lord. But I know that my high blood pressure was disconcerting to them. They kept checking it and giving each other a look of "not good". They weren't saying that to me but I could tell that it wasn't good. And I was desperately wanting to know what I needed to do to get to the point of getting him out. So Luanne said that she thought it was time for her to break my water and for them to give me an IV of fluids for energy. I whined to Jordan (in slurred, sleepy language) that I didn't want an IV, but I didn't even remember them putting it in. (I didn't want it because I'm scared of even getting my finger pricked and am prone to fainting.) I absolutely needed it though especially for what they were about to make me do.
When she broke my water (this was uncomfortable, but again, I was in a fog) she felt Judah and said that we need to do some different things to get him to move. She told me that if I didn't, we'd have to start talking about going to the hospital. I should mention that in that moment in my head I was absolutely certain that I'd be transferred and have a c-section and I was okay with that. I was thinking, "He's not coming out. He needs to come out. They can cut him out. That is fine." I didn't think that anything I could do would get him in a better spot. Especially when they told me it was time to do some lunges. Yes, lunges. I told them I couldn't. They told me I had to. Well, Luanne told me I had to. Tracy told me I was beautiful and wonderful and capable and to let my body do it. I thought she was going to break out in song. She was like a Disney princess nurse.
It was at this time that I told them if only I could go to bed and try again tomorrow I thought I could do it.
Since this was not an option, I remember telling Jordan that he needed to tell me I could do it. He did. He was awesome. He encouraged me (but not too much to where it sounded fake), he read my Scripture cards to me, he rubbed my back when I needed it. And when he rubbed my back he did slow circles around where the pressure was. I remember Luanne stepping in to actually push hard on my back to try to relieve it with counter pressure, and it did NOT feel good. All I could do was mutter, "no". Haha. Jordan's way was the best.
So somehow, I did what they said and leaned on the birthing ball on the bed, put one leg up on the bed, and did angled lunges. This is the last thing I imagined myself doing while giving birth. I mean seriously, in no way did I associate Jillian Michaels exercises with having this baby. But at least she wasn't there yelling at me or telling me how she could use another good chest fly in her life.
I had wondered beforehand whether I'd be one to yell or grunt or get angry when it came down to it. It was at this time that my noise level did increase, but my speech was very limited as I was just so physically out of it. Throughout the night I had been softly moaning in low tones during contractions, but now they were much louder. This was also when I started repeating, "Help me, God," and, "the Lord is my helper," over and over. I could NOT continue in my own strength that was for sure.
During the lunges they tried a TENS unit on my back which is electrical nerve stimulation. Basically they placed electrodes on my back that buzzed and shocked me to distract from the pain. It helped very slightly for a few minutes but wasn't so great for me. Then Tracy wrapped a rebozo wrap around my middle and used it to squeeze my hips for counter pressure. That actually did help more throughout the lunges. It also helped me to count through them mentally and time my counting with my breathing.
I had no idea if I was making any progress, had no pushing urges, and was still mentally set on a transfer. When what seemed like a long time had gone by (I have no idea), after each contraction and set of lunges I would tell them that I didn't think I could do another one. Or at least I would try to tell them that, I was hardly speaking English at this point. It probably sounded like, "Mm back.....can't do 'nother.....can't do it....God help...." and so forth. Luanne told me, "Because you're saying you can't do it I know you're near the end!" which I thought was pure ridiculousness but kept going anyway.
Meanwhile Chris Martin was still singing loud and clear. There are only a few Coldplay songs that I would rather not hear and I hadn't taken them off my playlist. So I remember being in the heat of all this and when one of them came on, I pointed to my phone and said, "Song!" which translated from labor talk to English means, "Jordan, will you please change it to the next song?" He was definitely skilled in the art of this translation.
Finally they told me I could stop lunging. I don't know if they just wanted to try something else or if they were afraid I would start falling over from exhaustion. But they told me to lay down on the bed on my side which was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I hated doing that with the manageable contractions, much less these intense ones. I kept telling myself, "Luanne knows what she's doing. She's done this for 30 years and a thousand times. Do what she says." So I did. I laid on my left side with my bottom, left leg straight as they put what felt like 24 pillows in between my legs and bent my right leg forward. That probably doesn't make sense, it barely even makes sense to me but I was in mental crazytown and kept my eyes closed so I don't know. Jordan laid to my left to face me and continued to encourage me.
Again, it could have been minutes, hours, days, in this position, I have no clue. But eventually after more contractions and more "help me, Lord"s I felt a new sensation in the baby exit region. "I think I'm feeling something!!" I told them. They probably had to resist the urge to pop champagne right then and there but there was still a baby to push out. So they situated me on my back and put my left knee in my left hand. Tracy handed Jordan a juice box to make me drink and I gulped it down pretty quickly.
It was then that the feelings of fear started to come back. I was shocked that we actually made it to this point and that I was going to have to push. I thought they might give me some coaching on pushing before I had to do it for real, but nope. They told me to let them know when the next contraction started and they would tell me when to push. "What??" I thought to myself, "I don't know how to push. Maybe I just won't tell them when the contraction comes. I'll just pretend it's not happening." As you can imagine, I couldn't do that. It was pretty clear when the contraction came. Luanne told me to take a deep breath and push. I breathed in and pushed as hard as I could until she told me to let out my breath. Again, and again. She said she wanted me to do it three times each contraction. The next contraction I did the same thing, only she never actually said when to let out my breath and so I held it as long as I could. The next time this happened Jordan said, "BREATHE!!" and I did. He later told me that he thought my ears were going to pop off or that my head would explode and yes, that's exactly what it felt like. I told them that I needed them to tell me when to breathe, otherwise I would keep holding it. I guess they were focused on the baby coming out because this happened a few more times, luckily my head and ears stayed in tact.
Now this might sound really weird, and I don't even know how to explain it. But to keep pushing as hard as I could and especially when I started to feel the pressure of his head, I had to mentally remove myself from the present situation. I guess this was one of those out-of-body experience type things. I had heard that it helps to picture meeting your baby but when I did that it brought me back to the fact that he needed to come out and it was up to me. So in my mind, I was with Jordan dancing at our wedding, I was at the beach with family, I was NOT on that bed pushing out a baby. And then I don't remember where in the world I was mentally because Jordan said I kept softly repeating, "It's just me and You, God," over and over. Where was I with God? No clue. But I am eternally grateful for Him being with me.
Throughout the pregnancy one of our songs for Judah was Sky Full of Stars by Coldplay (of course). When Judah was close, Jordan turned it to this song so I could hear it and it could be his birth song. This was so special and now I can't hear the song without tears in my eyes.
I asked them if I could hold my other knee because it was really helping to brace myself, so they helped me do that. Judah's head was RIGHT there which was the craziest feeling. My feet were kicking as I was trying not to push when I wasn't supposed to and trying to go at the pace she wanted me to (to avoid lots of tearing). Jordan seemed to be getting really emotional and kept saying, "You're doing it, babe, you're doing it! It's happening! He's coming! I'm so proud of you, you're doing it!" which was music to my ears.
Every push I gave 100%. We had worked so hard to get him at that spot, so since he was finally there I wanted him OUT. It took five contractions, three pushes each, and then I felt the strongest feeling of relief ever as Judah came out at 5:07am. I opened my eyes as he made a couple tiny "eeh!" sounds when they placed him on my chest. It was hard to find words, but Jordan accidentally filmed this part with the phone laying on the bed so here are some direct quotes.
"Hi....you're here....you made it....I can't believe it....hi....it happened....thank, You, Lord....hi, Judah....hi, buddy....is he cute?"
"Yes, he's very cute." -- Jordan
"Hi, buddy....you're in the world now...thank you for coming out....you're here and I love you...hi, buddy..."
Jordan got to hold him a little bit as I delivered the placenta, and somehow I took some pictures with my phone as my arm was shaking like crazy. They also gave me a shot of something as I was losing a good amount of blood, but it's hard to remember.

After Jordan held him for a minute, he gave him back to me to breastfeed and Judah latched right on. He was so alert and calm. He seemed legitimately happy to be out of the womb and with us, of which I was glad.
People have asked if I felt an overwhelming love as soon as they placed Judah on my chest. I loved him, yes, but I love him so much more each day. At that time I think the main feelings were relief and thankfulness. And I was just in shock.
It's hard to remember the order of events after this, but I know that when my mom and mother-in-law heard that first little cry from down the hall, they came sprinting to our door and waited outside of it. Such grandmas they are. :) Before I had started pushing I told Tracy to go tell them all to pray. They had been praying for me and thought that it could possibly take another hour or so after that, so they were shocked when they heard that cry right after they finished praying! So after I fed him, the family came in to meet him. They had been eager to find out his name, so I waited until they were all in the room and said, "This is Judah William Shelley!" They cheered and were so happy and full of love. One special moment that I'll never forget was my dad coming over to me, holding my hand, kissing my cheek, and saying, "You're so brave, I'm SO proud of you," with tears in his eyes.

They left the room after a few minutes of time with Judah so Luanne could stitch me up. Remember my huge fear of tearing? It happened, and I still don't know how many stitches I got, but I didn't even feel the actual tearing. People had told me that it could be like that, and I didn't believe them (I'm talking about you, Sydney!) but they were right. Maybe if I would have had an easier time leading up to the pushing it would have been worse, but the end happened so fast and there was so much going on with my body that I didn't even feel it.

I did feel the stitching up part though. Ouch. One of my least favorite parts for sure.

They helped me into a wonderfully warm shower and Jordan spent some time with Judah. I think after I got out was when they weighed and measured him. 6 lbs. 10 oz., 20.5 inches long. The cutest little guy ever.

We were both ravenous and Jordan was feeling like he could actually eat some food and keep it down, so my parents went and got us some McDonald's sausage and egg biscuits and orange juice. YUM. One amazing thing about the birth was that when Judah and placenta left my body, my hyperemesis also left immediately! I felt a huge difference right away and didn't have to think twice about eating that biscuit. Even though my sickness was much worse through the first half of pregnancy, I hadn't realized how badly I had still been feeling until it was gone. Praise the Lord!

Jordan's side of the family went back to our house to get some sleep. We said our goodbyes and thank yous to Luanne and Tracy as a new nurse Kara came in to take care of us. My parents stayed at the birth center for a while which was nice because my mom held Judah while Jordan and I took an amazing nap. I don't know if I've ever been so confused when I woke up. Where am I....what's going on....I'm still so tired....there's a baby....it's my baby. Woah.

After I woke up I fed him again and my parents headed back to their house. Jordan's mom came back to the birth center and helped get Judah cleaned up and dressed for the first time. We started the discharge process as Kara made sure I was good to go, checking up on my body and answering all my questions, giving lots of instructions. She was amazing, too. We really had the most wonderful team throughout this whole time.

Jordan put him in his car seat and we went home sometime around 11:45am. It was a beautiful day for a birthday. I had been a little apprehensive about leaving the birth center so soon, but it was really great. I felt like I had just the right amount of time there. We got to rest at home with lots of help from both sides of our family. They made a huge, delicious meal and we had a birthday party for Judah out on our deck. That evening I kept thinking how weird it was that I had birthed a baby earlier that morning.

What a weekend. It is still so surreal to think that it all actually happened. It was SO not my strength, but the Lord's strength in me. That's the only way I can explain it. I cried out to Him for help, and He absolutely helped me.

"Out of my distress I called on the Lord;

the Lord answered me and set me free."

-- Psalm 118:5

All glory, honor, and praise be to the Lord. Most of all for redeeming us through His Son Jesus and for giving us new life. The name Judah means "praise", and our prayer is that his life will be a sacrifice of praise to Him.

Judah's Birth Story -- Part 1

2015-04-13T20:05:00.003-04:00

Judah William's Birth Story Part 1This is probably going to be long and drawn out, but there's really no other way for me to tell it. You've been warned. :)Thursday, 3/12/15I had my 38 week check-up with the midwife and it took what seemed like forEVER for her to find a heartbeat. I surprisingly didn't freak out until after the appointment when it hit me that I had been really scared in those moments. But the reason was that he had turned posterior (he was facing out with his limbs at the surface) so his arms and legs were blocking easy access to the heartbeat. This was definitely not the preferred position for a smooth labor and delivery, so she told me a few things to do to try to get him to turn, like getting on all fours regularly throughout the day. She could feel his head easily and that is wasn't as low as it was before. She said he wasn't down and ready and seemed to think that we had a good amount of time. (Hence my thinking that it would be April before he was born!) She told me to take a couple Evening Primrose Oil pills a day to "ripen the cervix" (yeah I know, that sounds weird). I took one that night and the next morning and I would totally attest to them being magical if I knew what state my cervix had been in prior to that, but alas, I do not. So I don't know if my cervix was just super ready to go all by itself or what...but I'll get to that.I remember being kinda an emotional mess that day, and Jordan was still on the tail end of a bad stomach bug, so we had a cozy night in with grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup. I leaned on the birthing ball a lot and tried to be on all fours quite a bit.

My last bump pic taken after my midwife appointment

Friday, 3/13/15I had an early morning new parent meeting at the pediatrician's office to see if that's the one we wanted to go with. Good thing I liked them and we felt peace about it, we chose them just in time. :) It's the pediatrician I've gone to my whole life, and I say "have gone to" instead of "went to" because the last time I went to the doctor (besides the OBGYN) I went there. As an adult. Yeah....embarrassing. They laughed when they saw I was still in the system. I should've known something was weird that day because I went home and watched the movie Twilight while I did some exercises and stretching. I have never had a desire to watch that ever. I started the first book once but lost interest about halfway through. But for some reason when I logged into Netflix and it was one of the first things on there, I chose it. So weird. But I was on all fours for most of the movie. I say this to point out that I really did do what she told me to do and gave it my best shot, haha. (Spoiler alert: I failed.)I did a lot of things around the house and took a good nap (I was more tired those last couple weeks than any other time in pregnancy besides my worst sickness times). We were supposed to go on a little date to see Cinderella that night. We were planning on doing so many things that weekend....but I'm not complaining that we didn't get to. :)Anywayyy, around 6pm, I went to the bathroom and started bleeding. It was a good amount more than they said "bloody show" would be and continued for a couple minutes or so. That was a WEIRD feeling. I sat there for a minute praying and saying to myself, "Don't freak out. Don't freak out." I didn't know whether to call the midwife or Jordan first. I also didn't know if this was something bad or good and didn't want to think too much about it, just wanted to act. I decided to call Jordan and said, "Hey...don't freak out but something's happening. I'm bleeding." (I think I said "don't freak out" approximately 87 times that day to multiple people but mainly to myself.) He was very calm (when is Jordan not calm) and said to call the midwife and that he would leave work.One of the three midwives who work at the birth center, Jewel, was still there and said to come on in to be checked before she left for the day. We live 6-7 minutes away which was SO nice throughout this process. Jordan's friend Eric lifts weights in our garage a lot and was at our house, so I thought he might have to be the one to take me which would've been interesting. But Jordan got there right after I gathered my things and prepared to leave. We took the baby bag too, not knowing what we'd be told or what would happen!A wonderful thing about the birthing center is that for all my appointments and everything I just parked and walked right in to be checked. No parking decks, no long walk or elevators, no check-in, hardly ever any waiting, no "let me see your insurance card again", nothing. Just, "Hey, Ashley!" from any of the midwives or staff and then right to it. SO GREAT. I totally understand why people have those feelings of not wanting go in too soon or be sent home, and this aspect of it really helped with that because it just didn't seem like a big deal to go in.Jewel checked me and immediately said, "Wow, your cervix is completely thinned out and you're 1-2cm dilated. You're in early labor!" Jordan was in there too and we looked at each other like WHAT. She said I'd probably end up back at the birth center to stay in the next 24 hours, so to go home and rest and eat. She actually said to have a glass of wine and take a bath to relax, haha. (I didn't. I chose sparkling grape juice and played Bingo on my iPad instead. Pretty sure I killed it in Bingo that night.) She told me to call as soon as contractions started, since I was already effaced it could go fast. We listened to his heartbeat and she measured me, commenting on how he'd be a little guy. (So weird that this was Judah in there the whole time. SO weird.)

Celebrating being in labor!

We left, prayed, and called our parents to tell them it would probably be that weekend. They were surprisingly calm or were at least putting on that front, haha. We picked up food at ChickFilA, but Jordan couldn't really eat because he was still getting over the stomach bug. (Great timing, right?) When we got home I ate, took a shower, and made sure I had everything ready to go if need be. I thought I was having some sensations that felt a little stronger than Braxton Hicks, but I wouldn't even call them cramps. (My monthly crazy cramps that put me out of commission and made me throw up set the bar high when it came to pain in that area.)Jordan was SUPER restless and going around cleaning and disinfecting everything in case there were germs from his bug, getting the guest rooms ready for people to stay with us, and he even put together a bed. I was spending even more time on all fours, praying the baby would turn around. It was tough to go to sleep that night because we were both pretty hyped up and just anxious to see what would happen. I had been sleeping in the guest room due to his germs and my general largeness so we went our separate ways for the night.And of course, as soon I was finally dozing off around 12:30 am, I had my first oh I think THIS may be a contraction moment. It was a sensation that started in my back and wrapped around my belly like a slight cramp. They weren't very painful, but enough to make me not be able to sleep because I was thinking about it and excited. I laid there dozing between the cramping and kept thinking about how Jewel said to call her as soon as they started. I went and joined Jordan in bed to tell him what was going on. At this point I still wasn't positive they were contractions (they definitely were), so we waited until they were more regular to call. I was kinda confused because most of the feeling was in my back. Meanwhile, poor Jordan was still feeling badly and threw up a couple times. Delightful.
Saturday, 3/14/15At 4:48am I called Jewel. Well, I called the answering service who forwarded me to Jewel. The answering lady asked me a few questions and sorta made me feel like I shouldn't be calling. Before she forwarded the call she said, "So, is this an emergency?" and I replied (probably in an annoyed tone, sorry lady), "I don't know but I'm just doing what the person I'm trying to call told me to do!!!" anddd she then dialed Jewel, haha. The contractions had been about 6 minutes apart, but were back to 10-12 minutes. She said she was on call until 7am and would prepare and be ready to meet me at the birth center if they became closer together again regularly. She told me to call back if that happened and gave me her cell number, but that she would forward the info on to the next midwife on call, Luanne.

Jordan's ohmywordthisishappening face early in the morning

I got ready for the day and tried to do some normal things to distract myself. Luanne called and wanted us to meet her at the birth center at 8:30 to be checked again. I was happy to have another checkpoint even if the contractions weren't consistent. When she checked me I was 3cm dilated, so the contractions were definitely doing something even though it wasn't super fast. She was excited and confident she would be the one attending our birth. They had some classes and tours to do and said to let her know if things changed and come back at 2pm (since we live so close) before she left for the day, just in case we should stay then.

Filling out Judah's birth certificate paperwork

We went home to rest and eat, and I think I was able to get some sleep at this point. It's hard to remember. We started contacting people to let them know it looked like it'd be that weekend. Our siblings came in from Chapel Hill and Charlotte, and Jordan's parents were going to leave Greensboro after his dad (a pastor) finished a funeral.I mainly labored at home -- sitting or leaning on the birthing ball (just your standard exercise ball, nothing special), walking around, leaning on whatever surface was close by and swaying through contractions. Since that morning all feeling in the front was gone -- it was completely back labor. If it was still wrapping around to the front I didn't feel it because it was SO concentrated in my lower back. I wanted to walk outside but it was a super dreary and rainy day, so we went to the Harris Teeter by the birthing center to walk around. Jordan has a pretty funny video of me swaying through contractions in the aisles.At the 2pm check, I was 4cm dilated. I was nervous that I'd still be at 3, so that was encouraging. I was making progress with contractions that were extremely manageable in my opinion. She sent me home to continue until I couldn't talk through contractions and they were consistently 5 minutes apart.We went back to our house to hang out with the siblings. This was such a fun part of the day -- being with family, watching Parks & Rec, just hanging out like nothing was happening. Well...for the most part. I could tell they were a little nervous (when I say they I mean JOSEPH haha) especially when I would pause and sway through a contraction. I preferred them to carry on talking but most times they couldn't help but stop completely and wait for me/sit there nervously.They left to get food and brought me back a Frosty, then Jordan and Joe kindly went to go get me some crazy bread from Little Caesar's which was the only thing I could think of that I wanted. I'm pretty sure it's because I had recently gone back and read Megan Tree's birth story and she ate crazy bread while in labor and that stuck in my mind, hahaha. That wasn't all that I ate that night because I was trying to fuel up, but I NEEDED that crazy bread.At some point during this time Jordan and I had a little break down because he was still feeling so badly and I felt so bad for him. He was worried that he wouldn't be able to be strong for me at the time I needed it most and that he wouldn't be himself for the birth. We spent some time alone praying that God would give us the perfect amount of strength that would be needed for what was ahead. We knew we couldn't do it through our own ability. Blake joined us and then both sets of parents got there which made it feel like woah, this is happening. I was so happy for Jordan to be able to have support from our parents, it was exactly what he needed. Shortly after arriving, I had a few contractions in front of my mom and mother-in-law and they both were like, Ashley, CALL the woman. I kept thinking they would get worse and spread all over my abdomen and not just my back, but that never happened. I called and she tried to make me talk through a contraction on the phone, but I couldn't really do it. So off we went!You can read Part 2 here.

Welcome, Judah William!

2015-03-17T12:23:00.002-04:00

Judah William Shelley

March 15, 2015
5:07 am
6 lbs. 10 oz.
20.5 in. long

We are praising the Lord for the gift of our son!

Baby Shelley: 38 Weeks

2015-03-11T16:13:00.000-04:00

38 Weeks

Weight gain: 26 lbs.

Maternity clothes: Today as an older woman stared at me at a gas station, I realized it was probably because the bottom part of my belly was hanging out of my 9th grade softball sweatpants + maternity shirt that no longer fits combo. In my defense, I just drove down the road there to get Gatorade for my sick husband....but still. It was a sight that did not need to be seen. I'm definitely past the point of maternity jeans, they are too tight since he's moved down some!

Sleep: Good once I actually get to sleep. There's just so much stuff running through my head and the kid likes to party late at night.

Medication: Same -- one Zofran a day, Zantac as needed, which isn't as much.

Gender: BOY!

Food cravings: Soda, Starburst jellybeans, cold treats like Icees, Frostys, and ice cream. Still breakfast food.

Food aversions: Nothing specifically, but I'll be eating something and will have been enjoying it but all the sudden I'm like, "I hate this food and don't want it at all," quite abruptly.

Mood: I've been consistently happy and much more myself the past week. :) Only one bout of tears which came because Jordan is sick and he looked so miserable and there wasn't much I could do. People who are due the same week as me have been having their babies which gives me a jittery, nervous feeling when I see that. It freaks me out honestly....because I'm going to have to actually do that too.

Movement: Not as strong because he can't move around much at this point, but still an active boy for sure.

Milestones: Ordered our last supplies using the registry completion discount, learned a lot at breastfeeding class (yes, Jordan went and rocked it), had our last pre-baby planned game night at our house, finally hung some stuff on the nursery walls, washed all of baby's newborn and 0-3 month clothes along with his blankets, burp cloths, and such. Found out I don't have Strep B which is nice. The swelling definitely kicked in for reallll this week. It's funny because I have super narrow and flat feet with scrawny ankles, so now that my feet are swollen most of my shoes actually fit better. :) But I know I'm just stretching them out, haha.

Best moments of the week: My sister-in-law Anna stayed with us and we loved hanging out with her. Playing Hedbanz and Reverse Charades at game night was hilarious, hanging out and eating dinner with my parents multiple times, getting the nursery SO much more ready. Jordan spoke at church on Sunday and did an amazing job in my opinion -- all glory to God! Got to see two of my bestest friends for lunch this week -- one of them recently had her second little boy so she gave me LOTS of great advice. So thankful.

Quotes: People keep asking me if I'm ready or miserable and the answer to both of those is an easy "no". I don't think I'll ever actually be ready. It's all so surreal and hard to picture a little baby living with us. It's awesome but just WEIRD.

Jordan quotes: So as I've mentioned, I've been wearing Jordan's clothes a lot. We went to my parents' house for dinner Saturday night and I didn't bother to change into something that was less...manly. So Jordan took to calling me "Steve" for the night, while also referring to me as "buddy" or "man".

Verses I've been dwelling on: "The Lord, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed." -- Deut. 31:8

Home Maternity Photos by Sarah Seay Photography

2015-03-06T15:07:00.000-05:00

We had some maternity pictures taken in our home by the AMAZING Sarah Seay Photography.

If you live anywhere near the Raleigh, NC, area you MUST check her out. She is the perfect mix of laid back and professional. Sarah definitely knows her stuff and made us feel so comfortable. LOVE her and how the pictures turned out! We did a second round outside on a nice day so those will be coming soon too. :)

These were taken when I was 35 weeks pregnant. The maxi dress is from Pink Blush Maternity. The white maternity tank and black pants are from Destination Maternity, and the gray cardigan is from Loft. Our bedding is from Target.

All photos by Sarah Seay Photography.

Baby Shelley: 36-37 weeks

2015-03-04T11:23:00.000-05:00

36-37 Weeks

Weight gain: 26 lbs. -- They were very pleased at my last appointment. :)

Maternity clothes: I've been wearing Jordan's clothes a lot at home. I can tell my body temperature has gone up because I'm definitely not cold like I usually am! The go-to outfit these days consists of stretchy pants/leggings, a tank top, and a cardigan.

Sleep: The heartburn is significantly better which makes for better sleep! This is supposedly because the baby is moving down, and I believe it because I definitely have increased pelvic pressure and the waddling has started. :) I've always been one to be able to wake up and go right back to sleep, but lately this is pretty much impossible. If I wake up, I'm up.

Medication: Same -- one Zofran a day, Zantac as needed. The nausea has actually increased lately but it's under control with the medicine.

Gender: BOY!

Food cravings: McDonald's sweet tea, mac and cheese, breakfast food -- especially bacon.

Food aversions: Still just depends on the day and the moment. Usually if anything gets to me it's chicken, but I can kill some Zaxby's or ChickFilA so I don't know. It varies.

Mood: ALL. OVER. THE. PLACE. I don't know what has happened in the past week or so, I guess the hormones are just at a max, but I have seriously been a MESS. I've been so goofy and hyper sometimes, but then the next day I'll cry three times for NO reason. We were on our way to our friends' house for dinner and out of nowhere I was bawling. Poor Jordan, he did a double take and was like, "What's wrong??" and all I could say was "I don't knowwww." And then when I slowed down a bit he asked if there was anything he could do or what I needed and I replied, "We're having a baby and it's SO WEIRD," and started crying again. So yeah, that's how it's been lately.

Movement: His limbs can stick out pretty far these days. Sometimes I really can't concentrate on what I'm doing or even participate in a conversation because the kid is so distracting with his movements. He also seems to sleep in longer increments though.

Milestones: Had my last shower with my wonderful church family and it was Star Wars themed. :) LOVED it. I'm now full term and can give birth at the birthing center at any time. We finished our birthing classes and newborn care class, now we just have the breastfeeding class. Jordan installed the car seat which weirds me out when I'm driving around!

Best moments of the week: My awesome Star Wars shower planned by my amazing friend Sydney, my mom and mother-in-law coming over and talking all things baby with them, many snow days which seemed like more vacation with Jordan -- made snow cream for the first time, built Snowpel & Snowbert the snowmen, watched lots of Parks & Rec with Eric and Amy, ate lots of breakfast food. It was so nice to be snowed in. :) Jordan's best friend Patrick stayed with us for a couple nights, had a very fun night of watching NC State's victory over UNC with him and the Allreds, Had brunch with some of my high school friends and ate strawberry banana Nutella crepes. :)

Quotes: We made the mistake of going to Verizon together to get Jordan a new phone. I should have just stayed in the car because they made EVERYTHING they said to us or tried to sell us about the baby. Here's a few things: Boys are awful and so much harder than girls, we need more data because I'll use more because of the baby, we need a new tablet that has LTE because of the baby (what else would we do when we're waiting for him at the hospital?!), we need a video monitor camera that goes with the phone for the baby, we need heavy duty phone cases and screen protectors because of the baby, we need better cameras on our phones for the baby, and on and on and on. We like to make decisions like that together, but good grief I should not have gone in there. In the end he got exactly what he went in there for and was not swayed by any of this. :)

After I returned some stuff to Target I sat down at their Starbucks to write some thank you notes. A worker was walking by and asked how I was doing, talked about the weather, and asked if I was writing invitations. I told him they were thank yous and he asked, "For what occasion, a wedding?" Bless him. The way I was sitting with my big cardigan it may have been hard to see the belly, but even if he was just being careful it was nice to have someone asking me friendly questions that didn't jump right into, "Any day now, huh?" or in one person at Target's case, just looking at my stomach and saying, "Oh my."

At my church shower I was given a little ball toy for the baby called a Rubbabub. My mom pronounced it Rubbaboob and then my mother-in-law went on to say it must be to rub on your chest to prepare for the roughness of breastfeeding........and this is why being around both of our moms is very entertaining. :)

Jordan quotes: The only quotes that are coming to my mind are from when Jordan's best friend was staying with us and a couple of our other friends were over. They were asking about the birthing classes which provided for some VERY interesting conversation and preconceived notions that were completely wrong from the boys. I'll refrain from putting them here though.

Verses I've been dwelling on: I've been writing down encouraging verses for labor (and life!) which has been a great process. Here's one of the many Psalms I've written down:

"For You have been my help,
and in the shadow of Your wings
I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to You,
Your right hand upholds me."
-- Psalm 63:7-8

Baby Shelley: 34-35 Weeks

2015-02-18T15:23:00.000-05:00

34-35 Weeks

Weight gain: 22 lbs.! Yay! I'm sad that my midwife appointment had to be rescheduled due to snow because I'm excited to show her my weight gain and food log. I've been eating SO much meat and eggs, y'all.

Maternity clothes: I've worn the black pants pictured above almost every day for a week and a half. They're just SO comfy and I can make them looks somewhat dressy when necessary. They are Jessica Simpson from Destination Maternity.

Sleep: It's sadly come to the point where Jordan and I have to sleep separately often. With the herniated discs in his back, he already doesn't sleep well. Then there's me taking three bathroom trips a night and flopping my belly over to get out of bed and using a giant pillow and it's just not a great combo. A king bed would definitely help with this situation, but oh well. This will be a short time in the grand scheme of things.

Medication: Same -- one Zofran a day, Zantac as needed.

Gender: BOY! Which was confirmed again at our ultrasound when I asked if he's still a boy. He is.

Food cravings: STEAK STEAK STEAK STEAK and ice cream

Food aversions: Still just don't have a great relationship with food in general. But I've been tracking my eating for the midwife and doing well, I think!

Mood: Let me just tell you about the crying I did during our little babymoon Valentine getaway. Firstly, I cried at Jordan's card he made for me because it had an adorable stick figure portrait of our soon to be family of three and it was just ridiculously sweet. He also wrote the verse, "Her children rise up and call her blessed" but replaced the word "children" with what we think will be our son's name and I just couldn't handle it. Then, while walking around downtown Wilmington I had to keep stopping and sitting for little breaks due to not being able to breathe like normal and that I'm beginning to waddle a bit and tire easily. If I started to feel badly I just sat down on the first bench or chair available outside. At one point I sat down in a chair for about 30 seconds and a guy came out of a store and asked if we were going to order something and said that I was sitting on his "patio" which was actually just a grouping of chairs on the regular sidewalk. I understand where he was coming from, but he wasn't the nicest about it and it made tears well up in my eyes immediately. I was trying not to cry because I knew I was being stupid and didn't want Jordan to see. We then kept walking a little bit and found a bench to sit down. A horse drawn carriage pulled up that was doing a tour and was changing out their passengers. I looked at the horse and he just looked SO sad that it made the tears start pouring down my face. Jordan then realized that I was upset and was very comforting while trying not to laugh although I was laughing too. Later that night, we were watching one of our favorite shows, Parks & Recreation. A recently married couple on the show spontaneously drove to the Grand Canyon and I started bawling because now we can't spontaneously drive to the Grand Canyon. Through tears and sobs I was saying, "And I know you've been to the Grand Canyon like three times but I've never seen it and now we can't drive there and everything is changing and nothing will be the same" and ohmyword WHO AM I. This was all in one day. Poor Jordan.

Movement: I definitely don't have to count kicks because he is still moving around tons, especially when I'm trying to go to sleep.

Milestones: Had two more incredible showers -- a little one with my high school friends and a big one in Jordan's hometown of Greensboro. Our ultrasound at 34 weeks went well and baby boy seems to be growing just fine in spite of their concerns about my weight gain. It was hard to tell what I was looking at, though, because he's so smushed in there! We started birthing classes which have been both helpful and slightly traumatizing.

Best moments of the week: We had maternity pictures taken at our house and I can't wait to see all of them! Some of my friends from high school came over and threw me a little shower that was so special and fun. Then the next day we headed over to Greensboro for a shower at Jordan's Granma's house. SO many sweet ladies came and were overwhelmingly generous. You should see this kid's closet now. We had hilarious game nights with our friends the Ashleys and then the Fords. And like I mentioned, we had a WONDERFUL babymoon/anniversary/Valentine getaway to Wilmington. Delicious food, relaxing, putt putt, exploring downtown, watching basketball, shopping, just hanging out and sharing a comfy king sized bed. :) I am still in awe of how perfect for me Jordan is. NOT perfect (I mean we did have a little disagreement about how many pillows should be in our bed) but perfect for ME. Also since the baby has been acquiring some books at these showers, Jordan has started reading them to him every night which is equally cute and entertaining.

Quotes: Jordan's parents gave us a high chair (yay!) and wrote on the tag, "To our precious grandson and all his brothers and sisters". Haha! Love it!

This isn't a quote, just an observation. I'm big enough now that strangers do double takes at me and really just stare. Like sometimes uncomfortably stare. Which I'm sure I've done to a pregnant woman before but it's odd to be on the receiving end. I've noticed this the most at the gym. When I go to the gym (which should be more often) it's usually when older people are there and they LOVE to stare. And point, even. It's pretty funny. It probably has to do with the way I'm walking on the treadmill and how humorous I'm sure that looks.

Jordan quotes:

J: "What book should I read to him tonight?"
A: "How about The Very Hungry Caterpillar? It's a classic."
J: "Okay." Reads book. Gets to last page. Spoiler/entire book alert: caterpillar eats food and then becomes butterfly. Jordan turns page thinking there is more story. Realizes he is at end of story.
J: "THAT'S IT?! THIS WAS TWELVE DOLLARS?!"
A: "It's a board book! Were you expecting a compelling plot twist??"

After the last shower, we took out all the clothes and realized that baby has a LOT of sports themed items. I mean a lot. For some reason people associate us with liking sports....why could that be?? (JOKE. We love sports.) Jordan proclaimed, "Well, we now have a new laundry category. We can sort clothes into darks, whites, and sports."

We were also going through his blankets when Jordan expressed confusion on what they actually were: "So these 'receiving blankets'...they can be burp cloths, right? I feel like we'll be burping him more than we'll be receiving him."

Before our little trip, Jordan sat me down and said, "I need to know you heard and understood me correctly when I said don't get me anything for Valentine's Day. Please tell me that you understand this." So I said okay I guess and asked about an anniversary gift. He said, "A baby. You will be getting me a baby and that is all."

Verses I've been dwelling on: "Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." -- 1 Peter 1:13

I can't remember if I've mentioned that 1 Peter is my book that I'm going to be studying and attempting to memorize this year, but it is. :)

Baby Shelley: 32-33 Weeks

2015-02-05T15:58:00.001-05:00

32-33 Weeks

Weight gain: 19 lbs. -- Although I think this is great considering how sick I've been and how far I've come with eating food, my midwives are a little concerned about my "poor weight gain" and have referred me for an ultrasound to check on the baby's growth.

Maternity clothes: I'm wearing the same comfy outfits over and over these days, and I'm sure that will only increase! So far I've been really pleased with all the maternity clothes I've gotten and how much I've worn them, so I hope to do a post on that.

Sleep: Has been better the past couple weeks. I've had a couples days when I wake up ridiculously early and can't go back to sleep, but I'd much rather do that than not be able to initially get to sleep.

Medication: Still on one Zofran a day. I went a day without it and felt alright, but then the next day I did NOT feel well at all. So still daily. Zantac for heartburn as needed (almost daily).

Gender: BOY!

Food cravings: STEAK still, which was wonderfully fulfilled at the Angus Barn on Monday night. It was glorious.

Food aversions: Still depends on the day and moment, but I still don't have much of an appetite most of the time so I have to force myself to eat what the midwife has told me to eat. (Lots of protein! I feel like a body builder trying to make gains at this point.)

Mood: I've been more emotional the past couple weeks for sure.

Movement: Lots of stretching and lopsidedness that makes me jump sometimes!

Milestones: Had another amazing baby shower and received our travel system stroller and carseat!

Best moments of the week: Jordan led the worship music for a marriage retreat in Myrtle Beach which was really fun. Everyone was so kind to us and we learned a lot. We also stayed in a hotel with an indoor pool and I LOVED floating in the water. :) My second baby shower was at my parents' best friends the Browns' house. Ladies from my chapel growing up who kept me in the nursery came which was so sweet and special. There were also family members and friends who we've known forever. So basically this was the everyone-who-knew-me-as-a-baby shower, haha. They even gave me my favorite baby toy from back in the day that's not made anymore! (A Tupperware blue and red shapes ball) We went out to eat with Jordan's parents to celebrate him passing his PE exam and that was wonderful. Jordan and I had a great date night at Dave & Buster's. We really are having some FUN times right now.

Quotes: This one is actually from myself. Upon receiving the travel system at my shower, I tried to explain to everyone that it wasn't just the stroller, it's also the car seat. But I couldn't think of the word car seat, so I called it a "baby carrying case". They all picked on me the rest of the time about that.

At the marriage retreat they had a program booklet to follow along with and take notes. In the front they welcomed us as their guests and had an adorable and funny poem written about us. What made it even funnier was that at the beginning it called us Ashley and Jordan, but when it started talking about us having a baby, it said "Josh the father". Josh is Jordan's older brother. So I had multiple people asking me about how Jordan is my husband but apparently Josh is the father. Yeah. Haha. Jordan has been accidentally called Josh his whole life, though, so he wasn't surprised. :)

Jordan quotes: No specific quotes are coming to my mind, but he's been so funny to me when we get baby stuff. After each shower I've had, as soon as I come home he wants to go through everything, organize it, decide if anything needs to be taken back, and then assemble whatever needs to be put together. Right away. As I'm sitting on the floor slowly looking through the cards people gave us like three times. Haha. He is SO efficient and makes me make decisions which is one of the many reasons he is so well suited for me. :) Even when he got home late the other night after Bible study and was tired, he wanted to immediately take out the travel system and put it together when I thought he'd just want to go to bed.

Verses I've been dwelling on: Psalm 139, the passage that I referred to in my last post, has been a sweet comfort to us lately. Jordan read it to me again last night and it just filled me with peace.