View From Within

Not a Hari Raya Post : the tale of Bong the pesky tooth

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Wed, 13 Jul 2016 07:30:00 +0000

Selamat Hari Raya you ollss..

Hope it was a joyous day for you and your loved ones. Mine was uneventful except for this one nagging pain by this one particular wisdom tooth of mine, lets call it Bong. Bong has been a pesky problem for me and I have been ignoring Bong and his pain for quite a while now. However, Bong stopped being annoying and was a pain in the mouth, head, eyes, neck and it chose the most perfect time : Hari Raya.

Yes, it was a miserable raya for me. Whilst everyone was gorging on rendang, ketupat, lemang, daging dendeng, nasi minyak, ayam masak merah, all I can do is watch, telan air liur, nangis tepi dinding sana (ok tipu). I was popping painkillers like they were candies day and night non stop. It was so bad that I even had to pop 3 at 1 go when normally 1 would be more than enough for me. There was even 1 time where I was given a jab of painkiller and it was still painful and I had to top it up with another round of pills.

After the end of the raya week, I promptly forced (shoved and pushed) myself to see the good ol dentist. Yup, as expected, Bong needed to grow but there was nowhere to grow out from. So it was as what the dentist described as "partially erupted". Due to lack of space, Bong was unable to erect itself straight and had resigned to grow itself senget. Some part of Bong was still under the gum which created a pocket where apparently food gets trapped in and the gum gets infected. I know nothing of the sort, All I know is that the only thing that erupted from me was the pain. THE PAIN!!!

Because it was partially erupted, a minor surgery might be required. A section of my inner mouth, and gum will be sliced open to reveal Bong in all its glory and the next process would be to drill my gum, my jaw bone and Bong in order to take Bong out of its place. Drill ok! So you would understand my ~~fear~~ hesitation all these times. Tapi this time around, I had no choice. If it has to be done, it will be done.

The next day (which was yesterday) I promptly present myself at the doctor's office early in the morning for the scheduled appointment. Sweat buckets while waiting i tell ya! When it was my turn, I sat on the reclining dental chair, and the dentist explained what she would do to get Bong out. Then she injected anesthetic into my inner mouth (ouch) and in between my gum (OUCHH). After a few minutes I can feel half of my face started to become numb. She pushed her equipment (whatever that was) into my mouth and tried to ply Bong out of his resting place. Pushed, and shoved with all her might and all those times I was so worried that she might miss and that pointy equipment would hurt my tongue or other parts of my mouth instead. Horror ok!. After a few minutes of hard labour, she took a forcep and yanked Bong out just like that. I, of course felt nothing (yet). She showed me how Bong looked like. Bong apparently had been eaten alive and only half of it is still there. The hole was quite deep that it cuts down to the root. Hence the searing pain I felt all those time. Lubang dah sampai ke akar rupanya. The hole was not apparent coz it was hiding beneath my gum all these while. After all, Bong was born senget.

Lega... went home and had some sleep. After 3 hours, I started to feel the pain. Popped another painkiller as advised by the good ol dentist.

how am i doing now? I'm still popping painkillers unfortunately. My gum (neck, head, face) is throbbing but it is probably due to the cuts when the doctor was trying to shoved and pushed Bong out yesterday. The throbbing is as painful as the toothache. Nobody tells me that it would still be painful after a tooth is extracted. All people keep saying to me is that I will feel relieved, no more pain, bla bla bla. Tipu tawww!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my only point after this long winded whining is that pain will still be there after a tooth extraction. Pain will not disappear magically. How long? We'll see...

Excuse me while I pop another painkiller.

#toothache

#wisdomtooth

#toothextraction

#pain

#SelamatHariRaya

OK

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Mon, 20 Jun 2016 23:29:00 +0000

Am ok now. Life is beginning to return back to normality (laundry, chaos, shouts, mess, the usual stuff). I am also starting my fasting today. Yurp... while everyone else has done half of the ramadhan month. Thinking about the replacement fasting days that I have to do later makes me cringe.

I gained 7kg the last 3 months and only managed to lose a miserable 2kg. Patience and time is not something that I am familiar with. I have been given the all clear and I take that as a sign to move on from this episode of my life. My PMS-sy moods has also returned to normal (a slow return but still a return, thank god for that!). The melancholia phase has passed.

Tomorrow I'll be forty. Life begins at 40 they say. Starting life they say. Start anew they say. Whoever that may be remains a mystery.

But I am starting again, Slow pace, bit by bit, a journey that I need to take alone. I will be wherever I need to be eventually. For now,

Life has been kind. For that I am forever grateful.

#lestweforget
#backtofour
#alwaysinmymind
#iamOK

IF only...

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Wed, 15 Jun 2016 08:26:00 +0000

If only I'm an artist,
I could draw her face.
Perfectly.
Beautifully.

If only I'm an artist,
I could draw her face.
And remember her eternally.

If only I'm an artist,
I could draw her face.
And take her memory with me
wherever I might be.

Because memory fades.
and disappear like a freckle of dust.
And I know i will lose her eventually.
I'm just not ready.
Not now.
Not ever.

Hopefully.

.
.
.
.
.

If only I'm an artist...

She is Gone

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Tue, 14 Jun 2016 08:23:00 +0000

Dream about her last night. With her cute little feet and hands and cherubic face, sleeping peacefully. Perfect in every way.

I miss her already... *cry*

#backtofour
#lestweforget

Loss

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 13:30:00 +0000

My life resembles a tiny non dangerous kids roller coaster recently that had me experience feelings i have never experienced before. From a firm no, to having to deal with reality, to managing denial, to feeling love up to the feeling of loss but no sadness and finally guilt for feeling relieved.

Like i said - a roller coaster.

Those who got to know about the news sent me condolences wishes. I, on the other hand was numb with not feeling anything but bordering on relieved. And i feel guitly for feeling relieved when people keep sending me condolences wishes. A bit confusing for my poor heart.

Makes me wonder if I'm compartmentalizing my emotions.

I don't even know what to write or what i want to say. Its all a jumble of mess right now.

Let me find my mind and will get back to you on whatever yeah...

Roger and out

#loss

#backtofour

#sadrelievedconfused

Black Swan

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Thu, 26 May 2016 07:26:00 +0000

We are so hung up with white skin aren't we?

Krim pemutih, pil pemutih, que putih que putih, mujur ada pamoga... oh. my. gawd!

Let me tell you a story. A story that has been told numerous times in this blog but because tuan tanah kedaung very the pemalas nak backtrack post sendiri so I'm gonna tell you this story again.

I was born dark skinned. Nothing like the standard expected by society. What do you expect when my maternal ancestry bloodline can be traced back to India (the country). My mom even wrote at the back of one of my baby picture "my african princess". Head full of dark thick hair, dark skin, very big round eyes. A picture of pure cuteness... not for those who hold on to the skin expectation of fair and lovely. Well, I was dark and lovely thank you very much.

Growing up I had to deal with severe lack of self esteem. SEVERE. Beautiful and pretty were the 2 most unlikely words I would use to describe myself. My skin easily burn and a slight exposure would turn me crisp charcoal in an instant. And with a huge thick round plastic rims specs I would even describe myself as fugly (yerp, f ugly). Because of that, and while I was in the rebelious teen years, I morphed into a girl-boy. Let me explain. I was never a lesbian. I was still infatuated with men (at that time it was Awie. Siap ada poster tampal belakang pintu - OH. MY. GAWDDD *tutupmukamalu*) but I transformed myself to look like a boy. Crew cut hair, black t-shirt, black tight jeans, high cut shoes, listening to thrash and all sorts of dark metal music. Megadeath, Sodom, Dio, etc memang halwa telinga growing up. Back Street Boys? New Kids on the Block? Jason Donovan? I would rather die a horrible death than be seen listening to BSB or NKOTB.

I guess it was kind of a self-protective mechnism, the only way for me to protect myself from being scrutinised and labeled as tak lawa or hitam. I made a tonnes of boy friends. In fact I was one of em and only a handful of girlfriends who incidentally were drop dead gorgeous and sought after by all the boys in the hood (they are still kickass pretty mommas you know!). Some of the boys were even hooked on megadeath because of me. Balik kampung pun makcik2 tak nak salam sebab ingatkan jantan. Why the 180 degrees change? On hindsight, I was probably more comfortable with boys who dont' judge. Lagipun who wants to admit that he is a pretty boy? Mat jambu? Tak la kan. Memang teruk la kena bahan. So within the boys's world I was safe.

Being surrounded by pretty people doesn't help. And being constantly reminded by well meaning adults was like adding oil to fire. It took me well into young adulthood to accept that I am beautiful charcoal and all and if you disagree, you can f off thank you very much.

Now I see the same trend being repeated again and again against people I know. My lovely, pretty beautiful daughter is being subjected to such misplaced criticism by well meaning adults. She is beautiful with her big round eyes, long hair, sweet smile and dimples. She has dimples ok! Kau ada?And yet people can't see beyond her skin tone. Another friend just gave birth to a handsome cute boy and people can't seem to move on beyond his skin colour. Come on, KJ tu digilai ramai kot, tall dark and handsome kekdahnya. Kajol digilai ramai kot sbb cantik gila. And yet when it comes to the people in front of you, you just don't see the beauty beyond skin colour.

Please la. Muak ok.

Pesanan tuan tanah kedaung:

I am beautiful. I have a pretty smile and an beautiful heart. So does everyone else. You and your obsession with fair skin can G.T.H! Thank you.

#iambeautiful

#darkisbeautiful

#beautifulbrownskin

#beautyisintheeyesofthebeholder

#iamoneprettymomma

#neverforget

Perception and Assumptions

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Thu, 19 May 2016 08:54:00 +0000

A colleague passed away recently under non-normal circumstances. I don't know him that well beyond the work relationship because he was from a different division but we do work together ever so often and we have known each other for quite some time.

His death came as a shock to his co-workers and us in other divisions. He was known as a fun friendly easy going person. Because we knew him, it came as an insult to his co-workers when people assume as to what happened leading to his death.

Whatever he chose to do in his life, whatever decision he made and however lifestyle he chose for himself has got nothing to do with anyone. It was a personal choice that nobody has the right to interfere. I strongly believe that even if I don't know him at all.

But this incident had me thinking. Its easier not to judge when you know the person well. We normally judge someone that we don't know. Human nature perhaps? You see a person with questionable choice of lifestyle and you start to talk bad about that person. Just because you don't really know that person. You see a person that conforms to your idea of an ideal life, and you directly assume that person is a good happy kind person. Even f you don't know that person at all. But then again lebih baik berbaik sangka dari buruk sangka, kan?

Never judge. Easier said than done. I was in a friendly argument with someone the other day who was saying "kesian so and so, dah arwah pun kena tanggung dosa anak2 yang perangai tak senonoh". I mean, who are we to judge? First of all we are not god or an agent of god to assign dosa or pahala to anyone (dosa sendiri pun tak terkira). And do we know what these children of so and so are doing behind our back? They probably donated half their income to ensure that a family gets to eat. Or probably sponsors a child so that he/she can go to school, or helps the blind, or helps stray animals or has a heart of gold that God already assigned a place for them in heaven.

The point is who are we to judge?

Like this colleague of mine. He may have passed on. His life has been determined. What about ours? Tengah2 syok mengumpat tetiba kena patah petir, mampus, Nak kata apa lepas tu?

#somethingtoponder

#selfreminder

#neverjudge

Kisah Tandas di Banda Hilir: salin pampers kena charge rm1. Cekik darah!!!

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 14:58:00 +0000

Long post: luahan tak puas hati edisi Banda Hilir Melaka.

Minggu cuti CNY yg baru lepas ni bawak family jalan2 ronda2 Banda Hilir Melaka. Oklah not bad. Bila dah menghala ke petang lepas jalan2 di Jonker Street we decided to stop kejap bawah pokok tepi sungai Melaka utk minum cendol jam besar. Elok pulak si kecik ni terberak so moh la kita cari tandas nak cuci n salin pampers.

Mmg expect tak akan ada tpt proper utk salin pampers. Fine tak kisahla tu although alangkah bagusnya kalau ada. Dgn berdokong budak yg bontot penuh taik, sebelah tangan lagi pegang pampers n wet tissue. Bawak duit ngam2 30 sen utk masuk toilet.

Ni toilet yg mengadap sungai bersebelahan bangunan merah kat Banda Hilir tu. Sampai depan kaunter kita ni hulur la duit 30 sen kat org yg jaga. Mula2 di jelingnya kita. Lepas tu dia buat tak tau je. Hulur lagi duit. Tgk signboard kata entry 30 sen. Dia buat tak tau lagi. Ni ada budak dah merengek sbb rimas taik kt bontot. So kita ni pun letaklah duit atas kaunter nak masuk dalam toilet.

Elok nak masuk org yg jaga tu terus cakap dgn kasar sambil tunjuk pampers kat tangan "tu nak salin pampers seringgit". Terpinga2 kejap. Salin pampers kena charge seringgit? Tgh dok terpinga2 terperanjat dia cakap lagi dgn kasar "salin pampers seringgit". Kita ni dahlah penat, berpeluh, bau busuk taik lagi, terus naik angin. Tgk rupa tandas biasa2 je. Charge seringgit ni ada ke tpt utk salin baby? Dah la cakap kasar.

As org melaka i can differentiate between cakap kasar org melaka dgn cakap kasar kurang ajar. And this is definitely kasar kurang ajar. Terpaksa call my hubby hantar duit seringgit. Dah aku tercongok dpn tandas dgn budak yg bontot penuh taik tak boleh masuk sbb x ada duit seringgit hanya utk salin pampers. Lepas 5 minit mcm tu my hubby dh nk sampai menghantar duit baru org tu cakap masuklah dulu nanti bayar. Lepas aku dah berangin duduk tercegat depan muka kau dgn budak yg obviously busuk bontot penuh taik baru kau cakap boleh masuk. I was like WTF?

Bila masuk tandas tgk biasa je. As you would expect an outside public toilet would be. Dgn lecaknya, semua tandas cangkung, dgn gayung and baldi dlm setiap cubicle and no where to lay my toddler except for this one empty space where a lonely potted plant was placed. Dah la tk ada tilam or proper place to put a baby lagi mau charge seringgit? Dah la tak ada signage mana2 kata salin pampers singgit. At least KLCC premium toilets yg kena charge rm2 pun siap ada org yg tunggu, ada free wet tissue, ada lotion, bedak sabun body shop lagi to be used for free. Dah la aircond, wangi je bau. Bayar rm2 kira berbaloi la jugak kalau terdesak toilets free penuh.

Mmg tak puas hati. Biarla cerita ni pasal salin pampers je tapi harga cekik darah mmg mengambil kesempatan. Facilities x upgrade tapi nak charge fees mcm high class.

Memalukan betul! Pfftttt...

I rise from the dead : tajuk drama tak boleh blah oleh tuan tanah kedaung

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Mon, 15 Feb 2016 03:10:00 +0000

I have caught on a bug. Its called malasnya-aku-nak-tulis-blog bug. Looks like its stubbornly staying put. I would rather update on FB or insta or twitter. Itupun I have already been infected with malasnya-aku-nak-update-twitter bug. Semua malas dowh... LOL

A quick one from the top of my head:

No 1:

I do not stressed out when my child has yet to master the art of reading by age 6. Mak cool je. I know that they will catch on sooner or later. Every child develops differently and there is no point of me putting unnecessary pressure on my child just because everyone else has a child who can read the Theory of Relativity. What I would end up doing is just telling my child that he is not good enough, not intelligent enough, not smart enough. Why oh why would we want to subject our own children to such mental and emotional abuse, I can never understand.

My take is to let them be kids for as long as they possibly can. Even my soon to be 13 year old. Of course a child's academic excellence is a hope that every single parent in this world has. Including me. But its not the main thing in life for me. I would rather applause and be proud of my kids trying, putting effort rather than then results itself.

When the UPSR result were announced last year at my eldest's school, the school announced the straight As students first. I was seating next to a standard 6 prefect who was waiting anxiously for the result. He was stringing his hands nervously (I seriously thought he might faint due to anxiety) and couldn't sit still. A standard 6 girl in the front row was crying on her mom's lap also waiting anxiously for the result. My son? Well, we didn't know where he was. There was no pressure nor any expectations. He didn't get straight As but I remember feeling so proud and happy that he got an A for a subject that he was struggling with. He made an effort before the exam and for that I am very proud of him. That feeling of pressure and anxiety I saw in those kids' eyes, I seriously feel for them. Too young of age to be feeling such tremendous pressure. Too young.

My 3rd is in standard 1 this year. During report card day last year, his kindy teacher had said that she was quite relieved that my son can now read before going to standard 1. Her aim was to make sure everyone on her watch can read before standard 1. The only thing that came into my mind was poor her. Such pressure. I even told her I don't mind if my son has yet to master the reading skill by then. Its ok. But I guess the pressure must have come from other parents.

I keep seeing this over and over again. On social media. In real life. My daughter/son has so much potential. By age xxx he/she can already do bla bla bla. I need to enrol him/her into a good school that can stimulate his/her mind (stimulate here really mean getting A for every single paper in every single exam). Not reading yet by age 4? Oh no! My child will be left behind. Cannot speak in perfect british english? Oh no! my child will be doomed!

Told my children over and over again. Be whatever they want to be. No pressure from me. I don't expect a lot but I do expect them to make an effort in whatever they do. You want to play games? Fine by me but make sure you know the intricacies of how the game work, on what devices the game would be played best, the technical requirements for the devices, what upgrades are needed. Want to listen to songs and sing all day? Fine by me, but make an effort to listen to the lyrics. Understand the syntax, the subliminal messages, the underlying tone. Know the genre, etc.

singer.

Education. Education. Education. It does not mean how many As. It means you know what you are talking about. My priorities as a mother is to ensure my children knows how to make decisions. How to be considerate. How to be kind. How to be street smart. How to be a good human. To always remember to have fun. To always know when to stop. To always know when to ask for help and when to persevere. I can't put an A or an E on any of these skills. But I will be a happy mom knowing that my children turns out to be a decent, good human being. Despite whatever result they get for their exam. Despite the As and the Bs and the Cs or even the Ds...

But then again, that is just me.

No 2:

Long time ago, somebody was surprised with an insulting and demeaning undertone that I was born in the year of the dragon. The underlying tone carried was "what? you are a dragon? and yet you are so ordinary" *snicker*. It was insulting and despite it happened a few years ago, I still remember that feeling of being insulted. The irony was the same person said a few more years earlier than that I seem to be like a rock in the middle of the violent ocean where everyone clings to me for dear life.

If the benchmark of being a great dragon is to be in real power, or have vast amount of wealth, or command the greatest corporate adoration, then yes, I fail there miserably. But personally I am a powerful dragon. Being liken to a rock in the middle of the ocean is a huge compliment for me. That is something that I can understand. I love being the person that people come for help. I love being the person that people talk to. I love being the person that people spill their guts to.

If people judge me based on their own expectation, it is not my problem. I, too can judge you based on my expectation of you as a human. 2 can play at the game, kan. BTW, this person I still see and talk to on a daily basis. No hard feelings. If you know me, I am never the one to linger on negativity. Good for my soul. You should try it too if you haven't already :)

No 3:

It pisses me off reading racist remarks and hypocritical posts especially on social media. Telling people off for being racists but you yourself is demonstrating racist behaviour. Posting islamic posts day in and day out but still spew obscene four/five letter words for the world to see and in real life is a wife beater, a mother neglector (such a word?), kaki penipu, pembelit.

No 4:

It pisses me off doubly knowing there are anti vaccine out there jeopardising the health of children, the sick, the elderly. Selfish much?

No 5:

Did some bisness kecil2an selling pre-loved goods. Hard work i tell you. Need commitment. Respect la yg buat online business dgn anak kecik kat rumah... fuhhhh... memang mencabar minda dan jiwa raga. Good to know though...

And one last random thought....

Bila la rumahku nak keluar dari zon kapal perang yg kena bom lepas tu tenggelam dalam laut india 18 thn and dah jadi tukun tiruan?

Bila? Bila? Bila?

sigh...

Sekian dari tuan tanah kedaung.

xoxo

Microsoft Outlook 2010 in Safe Mode

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 03:28:00 +0000

OK, I'm guessing most of you who comes here or stumbled on this post (over confident I am) use outlook email extensively especially for work. It is a pain in the bottom if I can't just right click on a name to see the name property, the designation, gender, office address etc. And having to manually select option to see the reading pane, hide the tasks or calendar pane everyday, blerghh. Its a hassle I can do without. Like I said, pain in the bottom.

Went on google and as usual, Ms G has all the answer to the world including on how to get out of outlook safe mode. I googled "outlook in safe mode" and got this link

Turns out, this pain-in-the-bottom anomaly is due to an update. Specifically KB3114409. Apparently, (below is the article cut and paste from this link) after applying December update KB3114409 for Outlook 2010, Outlook 2010 may only start in Safe Mode. Microsoft is aware of this issue and has pulled the update as a result.

Update:

A new update has been released which fixes this issue; KB3114560. You don’t need to uninstall KB3114409 first but can either install it directly by downloading the update via the KB article or via Windows Update.

In a corporate environment, you may need to wait for your administrator to approve the update on their update server (WSUS) before you’ll get the update. Contacting your corporate Support Desk may speed up this process.

Symptoms you may encounter are;

Outlook 2010 is loaded with the default settings.
Reading Pane is turned off.
Modified settings aren’t being retained upon restarting Outlook.
Add-ins are disabled.
The Quick Access Toolbar and Ribbon have been reset and can’t be customized.
Instant Search doesn’t work.

If you are affected by this, you can safely uninstall update KB3114409 from your computer as is doesn’t contain any security updates. After uninstalling it, restart your computer and Outlook 2010 will start normally again with your own settings. As the update has been removed from Windows Update, it will not automatically re-install.

How to uninstall that pesky update?

Easy peasy. Just follow the direction in this link and you are good to go. I followed Method 1. Computer rebooted. And my outlook is now operating as normal.

Yeay!

SSM Online Business Registration

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Wed, 05 Aug 2015 09:30:00 +0000

Baru la berkobar2 nak register business kat SSM through online means. Took me a few days to do research, another couple of days to register myself at https://malaysia.gov.my portal coz that is the first requirement. This blog post really helps. Took me a few lunch hours and after office hours of patiently waiting and pffttt-ing away and the "eficiency" and "stability" of the system, and then I was presented with this:

PFFFTTTTT....!

sigh... kena physically pergi menapak area KL sentral la ni ye? haiyak... wasting time only you now.

***

If you must know:

SSM Online business registration - suspended from 1 April 2015 until god knows when.

for those in KL, SSM HQ in KL is in KL Sentral area.

SSM Business registration at level 4 SSM KL Sentral.

Be prepared if you want to register your business at SSM.
- bring along a copy of your NRIC (front and back) and your partners as well (if any).
- Identify a trade name (the more the better, at least 3). No numbers or combo of eng-malay words.
- Identify the type of business (all in BM), be as general as possible.
- bring along a minimum of RM60 for a 1 year registration.
- be prepared to wait for a maximum of half a day. Don't think it would take that long. The last time I registered a business name, it took me approximately half hour or so. Yang lama sbb masa tu baru nak pikir nama business, masa tu baru nak pikir business apa nak buat.. poyo jer...

Good luck me. Bila la aku nak pi tu agaknya...

Sigh.

Mommy's Nutella Pods

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 16:05:00 +0000

Ingredients:

~ all purpose baking flour - 1 cup

~ Cocoa powder - 1/2 cup

The measuring cup.
Don't ask gram2 bagai.

~ Baking powder - 1/2 teaspoon

~ Soda bikarbonat - 1/2 teaspoon

~ Icing sugar - 1/2 cup

~ Butter - 3/4 cup

~ Vanilla essence - 1/2 teaspoon

~ Egg - 1 (whisk lightly)

~ nutella (or jams, or chocolates, or whatever your fancy is)

*this measurement can get you about 60 - 70 pods assuming all batches turn out perfect and depend on how big is each pod

How to:

• mix flour + baking soda + soda bikarbonat (sift all)

• sift cocoa powder separately.

• mix sugar and butter until fluffy

• add vanilla essence + egg (lightly beaten)

• Mix until fluffy

• add flour (bit by bit)

• add cocoa powder (bit by bit)

• mix until the dough becomes soft dough

• put aside for 15 minutes. In the meantime preheat the oven at 170* Celsius for 15 minutes.

• lay baking sheet on tray.

• make small balls from the dough. Not too small, probably the size of half golf ball.

• make a halfway hole (can either use a spoon, syringe, thumb, index finger, whatevs man)

• bake in oven for 7-8 minutes at 170*celcius

• let cool

• pour in nutella into the halfway holes

• put inside your mouth and eat

• yums.

1st batch too small,
2nd batch too long in the oven.
3rd batch ok

*Disclaimer:

sorrylah ye pods hakak tak cantik. Maklumla buat pukul 10 mlm hari sekolah, janji siap sudeyyy.

Have to have jams/nutella baru terasa kesedapan dan kemanisan. Otherwise, the pod itself is a bit tawar (purposely done)

What To Do Segment : When Your Galaxy Gear Refuses to Switch On

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Thu, 12 Mar 2015 03:15:00 +0000

Haven't been using my Galaxy Gear for quite a while since it looks quite manly to be used as part of my office wear. Bila pakai sempoi or rugged ok la.

Haritu thought of using it since it was quite a hassle to hold my phone while jogging. Tried switching on... nope nothing happened. Ok so probably the battery is completely dead. Charged it to the wall plug. It was there for a week but still no signs of life. Takkan dah rosak kot?

As always, whenever i stumble on a puzzle, 98% of the time i will turn to the oh-so-reliable mr google. Keyed in "galaxy gear won't switch on" anf lho and behold a few sites suggesting solutions to an apparently a common problem.

Some solutions proposed:

1. Hold the power button down for 3-5 seconds and the device will reboot. Nope didn't work.

2. Tap and hold the power button. Need to do a series of tapping and hold. E.g. tap tap tap hold. No idea how many taps to do before the device will finally turn on. Didn't try this so don't know whether this will work or not.

3. Clean the charging contact on both the device amd the charging craddle. Nope didn't work.

4. Try using a different wall plug charger from a different model (e.g. blackberry, sony etc). Nope didn't work.

5. While charging, open the craddle and push down the power button with a needle for a few seconds. Nope didn't work.

6. Charge using a pc or a laptop and not the wall plug (apparently with pc it won't charge but it will charge using laptops). I didn't try pc but i did with my laptop. At first nothing happened. Then i changed to another usb cable and whallah it is now revived and has come back from the dead. Slowly charging but at least it is working.

One issue closed. Now can use it to count burnt calories doing zumba. Oh yeah!

i Know. I'm a Mom too

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Fri, 06 Feb 2015 02:56:00 +0000

This article had me teary eyed.

The Most Powerful Thing You Can Say to Another Mom

(*click HERE to go to the actual article)

A few weeks ago, one of my dearest friends lost her 21-month-old daughter forever when the sweet baby girl died unexpectedly and suddenly. My friend and I live on opposite sides of the country, so I took a trip to visit her for this past weekend. Admittedly, I was a nervous wreck about what I was going to say to her and her husband. How was I going to find the words to comfort them? How would I avoid saying the wrong things? I wanted to find perfect words, and, as I am a writer, words happen to be one of the few ways I truly know how to express myself.

Except I was at a complete loss over her loss. Having two healthy children at home, I felt I couldn't truly relate to her pain, so how on earth was I going to be able to comfort her during a situation that I have very little experience in? Armed with a pocket full of Bible verses and a slough of rehearsed things to say, I walked into her home and could never in a million years have foreseen the life-altering and powerful words that would be spoken between us during our time together. Except the words came from her, to me.

From her. To me.

That's right. My friend, who at this point is proving to be one of the strongest people I know, said something during her time of grief that will forever hold a spot in my heart. It was a phrase so simple, yet it has hit a chord deep inside of me. As she was describing the events leading up to the death of her daughter, she tried to express to me her complete heartbreak as she held her sweet child in the hospital during the minutes and hours after she died. Describing the time only as her worst nightmare, she said to me with tears rolling down her face, "You're a mom, you know."

You're a mom, you know.

This phrase took my breath away — as well as any composure that I had managed to keep together up until then. Because it was at that point, with that phrase, that I was able to start to understand the magnitude of her sorrow. Sure, I was completely heartbroken for her before, as death is difficult for anyone. But I'll admit that I didn't fully understand my role as her friend or as a fellow mom. See, all this time I had been looking in the wrong places for the perfect thing to say to her while I should have just looked at our simplest bond: motherhood. And while I have not experienced the pain that comes along with losing a child, I do understand the joy that she once experienced from holding her child. And to lose that? There are no words

Except maybe "I'm a mom, I know."

Losing a child is every mom's worst fear — no matter who you are or what kind of mom you choose to be. In the days since, I've been keeping this simple thought in mind when relating myself to other mommies. Sure, we all have our different ways of mothering and raising our families, but we do have one thing in common: our hearts are directly connected to our children. It makes the whole mommy wars thing seem, well, totally ridiculous.

You're a mom, you know.

So as I went with my own mom, who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, to her radiation treatment, I glanced over at the young mother of a small boy in the waiting room. He was maybe 3 years old (though it's hard to tell because he was so tiny). He sported a colorful Superman cape and a bland hospital mask as he sat cradled in his mom's arms. She said something quietly to him. My heart stopped. This mom ached for that mom. And the tears started to fall from my eyes despite me not knowing her one bit. Despite me only sitting in the waiting room for maybe 30 seconds. Despite my own mom sitting next to me about to have her own radiation treatment. This is crazy, I thought. I don't even know this woman.

But what I do know is that I'm a mom.

And later I was getting dinner at a takeout restaurant, and one of the employees was on the phone in the restroom. She was struggling to find a babysitter for her child while she finished her late shift. She was frantic. She was upset. She was mad. My heart skipped another beat, and the tears welled up in my eyes once again.

I know, I'm a mom.

As I went back to my mom's house, heartbroken over my friend's loss, my mother was trying to comfort me. Asking if I was OK. Me! She was the one going through radiation, I should be comforting her. And then it dawned on me as to why she was so worried about how I was doing.

She knows, she's a mom.

And on the plane on the ride home there was a new mom standing with her infant son nearly the whole four-and-a-half-hour flight because if she attempted to sit down, he wailed. She looked exhausted and frustrated. She checked her watch frequently, but she also kept on task all while kissing on his little bald head.

I know, I'm a mom.

See, it's a thread that unites us all. Helicopter moms. Free-range moms. Breastfeeding moms. Formula-feeding moms. Rich moms. Poor moms. Moms of sick kids. Moms of healthy kids. Moms. The crazy, heart-stopping love that we feel for our children runs deep through each and every one of us as moms.

And this knowledge is painful at times. It's why every sappy commercial brings us to tears. It's why we can't watch the news. It's why we get in the car and cry after we drop our kids off to their first day of school. It's why food allergies are terrifying. It's why our hearts ache when we hear about miscarriage or fertility problems. It's why we are up at night worrying about our teens. It's why the thought of our children eventually leaving the nest makes us weep into our coffee. It's why the death of another mother's child is so utterly heartbreaking . . .

It's also why we should always provide a blanket of support to all fellow moms. Not only to those who are suffering through the unimaginable pain of losing a child, but also to those mamas going through plain ol' rough times . . . and even those moms who are just having one of those days. Hug her, and if you are struggling to find the right words, all you may really need to say is, "I know, I'm a mom."

But you probably already know this. After all, you're a mom.

Post Self Reminder

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Wed, 04 Feb 2015 07:53:00 +0000

received in whatsapp... *ketuk kepala bagi ingat* Sebelum kita keluar ke pejabat kita membebel pada anak kerana lambat bersiap Sampai di sekolah anak maklumkan ada surat yang dia lupa berikan semalam. Lagi sekali anak dileteri. Anak salam dan masuk ke kelas dengan keadaan emosi yang terguris. Dah dua kali kena marah. Kalau tak bagitahu pasal surat tu pun takpe fikirnya. Buat kena marah je. Seharian dia di sekolah bersama kawan-kawan dan guru. Bila habis sekolah, dia tinggal di taska atau rumah pengasuh. Sementara menunggu ibu dan ayah balik.. Bila matahari semakin hilang cahayanya, baru ibu dan ayah datang mrnjemput. Dah 8/9 jam tak jumpa ibu ayahnya. Banyak yang dia nak kongsikan. Waktu ibu dan ayahnya sedang bercakap, waktu itu juga mereka excited nak cerita dan bertanya itu dan ini. Nak bagitahu cikgu puji dia pandai, nak bagitahu kawan puji kotak pensil yang ibu baru belikan Tapi mereka dimarahi kerana dikatakan menyibuk waktu orang tua nak bercakap. Mereka menunduk dan masuk ke bilik. Bergurau pulak dengan adik-adik. Kecoh bunyinya. Tetiba wajah si ayah tersembul di muka pintu. Kena marah lagi sebab bising waktu ayah nak tengok berita. Ayah suruh baca buku. Tengah-tengah belek buku, teringat lukisan cantik tadi. Berlari nak tunjuk kat ibu didapur. Tetiba terlanggar pulak bucu meja. Jatuh dan pecah berderai gelas atas meja. Sekali lagi anak ini dimarahi dan dileteri. Dan anak ini akhirnya tidur dalam keadaan dia tertanya-tanya adakah ibu dan ayahnya menyayanginya atau tidak. Tiap hari, pasti ada saja salah dan silap mereka. Pasti ada yang tidak kena. Itu senario yang selalu kita hadapi. Malahan saya sendiri mengalaminya. Sungguh tinggi ego kita. Sungguh kita sangat mementingkan diri. Anak ini belum matang. Belum tahu berfikir seperti orang dewasa. Bila ibu dan ayah pulang mereka benar-benar ingin merasai kehadiran kita. Ingin dipeluk dan berkongsi cerita. Tapi apa yang mereka dapat??? Bila mereka besar dan lebih selesa berkongsi cerita dengan teman-teman, jangan kita persoalkan kenapa. Kerana waktu mereka ingin benar-benar berkongsi dengan kita, kita menafikan hak mereka. Keegoan itu langsung tak menjadikan kita ibu bapa yang hebat. Emosi dan amarah hanya mengundang salah tafsir si anak Jika kita berasa penat dengan urusan kerja seharian, bagaimana pula dengan anak-anak? Jam 7.30 dah terpacak di sekolah. Pagi sekolah agama dan petangnya pula sekolah kebangsaan. Tidak penatkah mereka? Kita keluar bekerja tanpa membawa beban berkilo. Tapi mereka bagaimana? Berat beg sekolah saja sudah 5 kg. Ingatlah, anak itu satu anugerah. Bukan tempat melempias lelah. * peringatan untuk saya dan anda

The world wide web from a little man named Iman Aydin

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Sat, 03 Jan 2015 09:58:00 +0000

At 5 years and 4 months, his IT vocab consists of the following

Kompiter
Tinet
Donlot
Pesbuk
U-chub
I-pad
I-tab

...

When i was at that age all i can remember was bathing my doll in her bathtub.

Time changes.
Children changes.
We adult adapt.

2015 Resolution

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 05:19:00 +0000

I have for quite a while now have stopped having new year resolutions. For me, if I want to do something, I will just do it. There is no necessity to wait for a specific date to do it. Agak2 nak make an effort nak kurus, I can always start ~~now~~ tomorrow..... *gelakgulinggulingdenganjokesendiri*

Jokes aside, I really do wish those who are having their annual new year resolutions to actually achieve these resolutions of their. I wish you the best of luck from the bottom of my heart.

Hoping for a brighter, happier, more meaningful, more productive, contented, peaceful year for 2015.

New Year Resolution?

What is that? Me no understand... heh.

2014. At A Glance

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Tue, 30 Dec 2014 09:39:00 +0000

2014 is coming to a close. How time flies. Seems like I just wrote down a brief summary of 2013 and now its time for 2014 pulak.

On a personal note, 2014 is definitely a memorable year because it is the year of Ariz. The one who wasn't suppose to be.

The one who took everyone by surprise… well not that surprised actually, more of a fulfilment of an expectation (not mine!) that has built up over the years. I was ever ready to stop at 3 children. But since there was never any protection used (nor any restraint) (ermm… too much info?), getting pregnant was a news that was kind of expected. I was actually surprise that it took 5 years of doing absolutely nothing to stop me being pregnant for me to actually be pregnant. That was in April. Since then my life has been back to how it was 5 years ago; sleepless nights, blocked ducts, clingy human, cries (baby and mommy), exhaustion, emergency leaves, pushing stroller, baby carrying, outings at indoor areas with aircond only please, pumping regime, carrying pumps all over town, excessive weight (major SIGH!!!) and a house yang macam tongkang karam yang baru dijumpai 18 tahun kemudian...

But curiously, I can't think of how life was pre-Ariz. Its like that part of my life never happened. Thinking of his smile, his laughter, his wiggles, his excitement when he sees mommy, his curiosity, his habit of putting absolutely anything and everything into his mouth. One word. Bliss.

Adlan has master the art of masak nasi. Learn how to do nasi goreng and sambal udang.

Is slowly turning into a tween with his degil attitude, his body odour, and his understanding of how the world works. Expecting his voice to go rougher next year.

He is expressing more of his brotherly concerns for his siblings (despite the incessant tease that drives mommy crazy!).

His obsession with games has intensified, his current obsession being "counter strike". Pandai pulak main MMOG (massive multiplayers online games) ni. Mana belajar ntah.

Aliya turns out to be a wonderful sister and a marvellous mommy's helper. She keeps Ariz company while mommy takes a quick-everything (from taking a piss, to eating, and showering and cooking). On top of that she manages Aydin with his cry baby attitude. Books everywhere. Requests to buy books comes in almost daily. Botak poket mommy kalau hari2 kena beli buku. Nak cakap tak boleh tak sampai hati. Asal pergi shopping mall je she will keep a look out for bookstores.

Aydin? whooaaa that little guy turned to be a cry baby. Sikit2 nangis. I guess being anak bongsu for 5 years of his life and suddenly being dethroned has its negative impact. Trying to be patient with him but kadang2 terkeluar jugak api dari mulut bila mommy tukar jadi dragon. But he loves his little brother no doubt about it. Playing, calling out his brother (more like shouting on top of his lungs AAARRIIZZZZZ!!!), always wanting to see what his lill bro is doing. Tapi bab suka menjerit kt depan muka adik tu yg mommy tak tahan tu. Rimas.

On the school front, he got 2nd in his class. We didn't know about it until we read the program book during hari penyampaian hadiah. Not baddd!

And that hair! oh my. Every 20 minutes he will make a trip to the toilet or the sink to dampen his hair abd comb it. Mula2 style rambut cacak. Then he discovers hair gel. Now it’s the mat skima look. Every few minutes checking his hair. Mommy has to bring a small comb and a compact mirror everywhere just for him. Mat smart betul.

Tapi dalam mat smart mat smart, terjadi jugaklah incident bengkok tulang. Yes, you read that right. Crooked bone. Not broken. Not fractured. But crooked collabone. Happened when he fell in his attemptm to piggy ride his Abang. Earlier this year terkoyak kulit kepala langgar pintu while at kampung. Dah berjahit 5 jahitan.

On a more general note, 2014 was a year of unprecedented events. The missing of MH370, the shot down of MH17, privatisation of ailing MAS, terrible2 haze (what else is new?) and water rationing in the west coast of peninsular Malaysia, the weakening of RM, the leakage of UPSR exam papers (UPSR je kot!!), the biggest flood since 1971.

So there… 2014 at a glance, as I can remember it. For now.

Next year cerita next year pulak. My new year resolution? To at least update a brief summary of the month on a monthly basis so that the yearly summary for 2015 aku boleh check the links je. Fening mak nak recall balik apa jadi for the past 12 months.

till then. peace.

Mug Cake

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Sat, 15 Nov 2014 08:05:00 +0000

Project boring hari Sabtu

1 standard size microwave safe mug

*Mix and whisk in mug*

1/4 flour (sifted)
5 tablespoon cocoa powder
5 tablespoon sugar
3 tablespoon milk
3 tablesppon vege oil / olive oil
1 egg (beaten lightly)

Whisk all in the mug until smooth and put inside a microwave. Heat for 2 (or 3 minutes tops).

Whallah dah siap. Want extra chocolaty taste? Cairkan coklat dan tuang atas kek.

10 minutes and you will get to eat 1 serving of choc cake. Nikmat donyaaaa... hehe..

Good-day,Get Back To Me

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Thu, 25 Sep 2014 03:33:00 +0000

**my reply below**

-----Original Message-----
From: Chase Online [mailto:d-trip@cy.tnc.ne.jp]
Sent: Wednesday, September 24, 2014 5:54 PM
To: ZAINAB900@YAHOO.COM
Subject: Good-day,Get Back To Me

MY DEAR FRIEND .

I AM DR.GAUIS OBASEKI A FORMER {GMD} NNPC WITH THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION NNPC, I AM WRITING YOU THIS LETTER BECAUSE COOL PENNY IS BETTER THAN MILLIONS OF DOLLARS.

IT IS BETTER FOR ONE TO LIVE AND DIE A POOR HONEST MAN THAN A RICH DISHONEST ONE,I AND THE CONTRACT CUSTODIANS (CC) OF OUR MINISTRY NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORP, NNPC HAVE ARRANGED WITH AN OFFICER IN THE CHASE BANK ONLINE COMPUTER SECTION, ENGINEER BARLEY TO BRING OUT A PART OF YOUR TOTAL CONTRACT SUM AMOUNTING TO TWELVE MILLION US DOLLARS

(US$12.M).

THE REASON WE ACTED THIS WAY IS THAT, DUE TO THE INFORMATION GATHERED FROM THE CHASE ONLINE BANKS COMPUTER NETWORK SYSTEM, YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A LONG TIME TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND WITHOUT SUCCESS,I ALSO DISCOVERED THAT YOU HAVE MET ALL THE STATUTORY REQUIREMENTS OF THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL PETROLEUM CORPORATION IN RESPECT OF YOUR CONTRACT PAYMENT,YOUR PROBLEM IS COMING FROM THE INTEREST GROUPS.

A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED IN YOUR PAYMENT AND THOSE PEOPLE ARE MERELY DOING PAPER WORKS WITH YOU AND THAT EXPLAINS WHY YOU RECEIVE EMAILS AND PHONE CALLS FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE EVERYDAY ALSO WE FOUND OUT THAT SOME OF THE OFFICIALS OF THE PARASTATALS THAT EXTORTED A LOT OF MONEY FROM YOU, WITH THE PRETEXT OF HELPING YOU.

I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THIS MAY LAST FOR YEARS YET NOTHING HAPPENS IF YOU DONT GO AWAY WITH THOSE OFFICERS THAT YOU CALL YOUR PARTNERS, AND FOR SECURITY REASONS, DONT TELL ANYONE THAT YOU HAVE YOUR MONEY, UNTIL YOU RECEIVE CASH AT YOUR DOORSTEP.

THE MONEY IS IN ONE SECURITY-FUNDPORTFOLIO YESTERDAY WE WENT FOUR COURIER COMPANIES TO MAKE ARRANGEMENTS ON HOW TO SHIP THE FUNDPORTFOLIO BY COURIER TO YOU.

DHL, EMS, FEDEX, ISA ALL SAID THAT THEY MUST OPEN THE BOX FOR INSPECTION WITH THE COOPERATION OF THE CUSTOMS BEFORE SHIPMENT THIS IS SOMETHING WE WANT TO AVOID BECAUSE THE BOX WERE PADDED WITH MACHINE,WE TOLD THE COURIER COMPANY THAT THE BOX CONTAINS PHOTOGRAPHIC AND FILM MATERIALS AND WHEN OPEN WILL LOOSE ITS EFICACY.

WE DID NOT DECLARE MONEY BECAUSE COURIER DOES NOT CARRY MONEY. TODAY A FRIEND OF MINE WHO IS A DIPLOMAT DISCLOSED TO ME THAT THERE SOME DIPLOMATIC EXPERT THAT ALWAYS LIFT FUNDS FROM ONE COUNTRY TO ANOTHER,IT HAS DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY AND CANNOT BE INSPECTED BY ANY CUSTOMS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, I WILL MEET WITH THEM AS SOON AS I GET YOUR PERMISSION.

THE DIPLOMAT WILL HELP US SO WE DONT HAVE ANY PROBLEM, WE HAVE CONCLUDED THAT YOU MUST COMPENSATE US WITH ONE MILLION US DOLLARS AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE YOUR MONEY.

TO THIS EFFECT, YOU WILL SEND US A PROMISSORY NOTE FOR ONE MILLION US DOLLARS ALONG WITH YOUR MAILING ADDRESS FOR SENDING THE CONSIGNMENT BY DIPLOMATIC,PLEASE I URGE YOU TO MAINTAIN TOPMOST SECRECY TO AVOID PROBLEMS,DONT DISCLOSE THIS TRANSACTION TO ANYONE UNTIL YOU HAVE YOUR FUNDPORTFOLIO.

I WANT TO HELP YOU BECAUSE SOMETHING IN ME IS TELLING ME THAT, YOU ARE AN HONEST PERSON,WE SINCERELY HOPE THAT YOU WILL FULFIL YOUR PROMISE AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF THIS TRANSACTION.

WE SHALL THEN HELP YOU TO SHIP THE FINAL PART OF YOUR FUND TO YOU, GOD IS WITH US.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

DR.GAUIS.OBASEKI
EMAIL:GAUIS.OBASEKI@YAHOO.COM

**

Good day to you too.

First of all, thank you for your kind assistance to break into a bank's system to retrieve my personal data in a bank I have never had an account with. I am flattered that you have picked me out of the huge customer database that the bank must have in its system. It must have been my name that stood out. For that I thank my parents for bestowing me a very unique name, one of a kind, just like me. Your offer to assist me to get part of the total contract sum amounting to 12 mill USD is very flattering although I have absolutely no idea what contract you are talking about what more for a contract worth more than 12 mill USD. I should give myself a pat in the back I suppose for being able to amass revenue worth millions despite never ventured into any kind of business whatsoever. I didn't even know that I have been waiting for this money for so long. Had I knew that I am entitled to millions of USD, I would have taken the necessary steps immediately to claim the money that I didn't know I had, in a bank I didn't know I had an account with, for a contract I didn't know I had entered into. With that kind of money, I could have bought myself a pretty home for me to live in, in an upscale neighborhood of course (one has to mix around with those of the same par, I know you'd understand). I could save myself the hassle of having to drive to work at peak hours in the horrible jam and facing the same scenario coming back from work since with that kind of money, I could own the work and work will drive to me instead of the other way around. That would be wayyy cooler I think. Imagine if I have had the money by now? I could be in some secluded beach on one of the Caribbean island that I own, sipping fruit cocktail (I can't consume alcohol BTW since I am a muslim). For that I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your decision to assist me in such a manner.

You are right when you mentioned that I have been threatened and blackmailed. This is happening even with the money that I have amass from working like a slave day in and day out every day of every month (not much I can assure you!). I know who the culprits are. They are 4 cutest criminals ranging from the age of 11 to the age of 5 months. The 5 month old criminal is particularly adorable that I even have a tough time falling asleep without him sleeping beside me. However, since I am a willing victim, this is of no big issue to me.

Since it will be a security issue sending out the fund portfolio (although to be honest I am a bit loss here since you were offering assistance to get me my part payment from an unknown contract and now we are talking about fund) and diplomatic passage may be too suspicious since I know no one who has diplomatic immunity except that I have immunity in my household to do or be whatever I want to, I propose for the documents to be exchanged in person. For that purpose, I would appreciate if you could arrange transportation, paperwork and sufficient pocket money for me and my family to travel to wherever you are to receive the fund portfolio personally. I believe this is the safest option. You can mail me the bankers cheque and the return flight ticket (for 5 adults and 1 infant please) to my office address soonest. Trust that you would already have all my details since you have broken into the bank's system to retrieve my personal information.

As for the compensation of 1 mill USD, please be rest assured that as soon as the 12 mill USD is safely deposited into my bank account, I will pay you a handsome commission on top of the compensation that you are asking. As you have mentioned earlier, it would be better to die a poor honest man than die a rich dishonest life (although I would prefer to die after enjoying a long rich honest life).

Thank you again for choosing me and believing in me. I can assure you that this matter is being dealt with as discreetly as possible. Looking forward to your correspondences and the necessary documentations and money to enable us to conclude this matter expeditiously.

God bless and god speed.

20 things about ME

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Sat, 20 Sep 2014 17:46:00 +0000

Saw this all over the social media. I was not tagged because my social media friends did not participate in this particular tagging game. However whilst i am forced to lie down and unable to do anything else but look at my phone (despite having 1 urgent work that i have to settle like yesterday) while Ariz is taking his own sweet time suckling, smelling and pinching my breast, i decided to do this. Just because i want to know how well i know myself. Heh.

Here goes...

1.
I am an introvert. I don't do very well adapting in new surrounding although age does taught me a trick or two in making adapting to new surrounding less painful.

2.
I was a very insecure child growing up. I always felt that i was the human version of an ugly duckling. Yg paling tak lawa la senang cerita. Funny thing is my close friends in school were the opposites of me. In school people know me as kawan si polan yg cun tu -in all 3 schools i've been to from standard 1 up to form 5. Same thing in college and in uni.

3.
I have stage fright. Yup. when its my turn to go on stage, my knees would shake violently, my heart beats like i just sprinted 100 metres in 7 seconds, i would hyperventilate. Despite that, in school i took part in a lot of story telling, pidato, syarahan, deklamasi sajak, berbalas pantun. Even represented my school up to state level. And as a working adult i argued my case in front of judges up to the courts of appeal. Yup. The knees and the hands did shake there. Violently i might add. Although now i don't seem to have that fear anymore. I think its the age thinglah.

4.
I was a bookworm. I bath, eat, walk, talk, watch telly, any sorts of activity really, with a book in 1 hand. Love love love to get myself lost in the world of fiction but this activity is now considered a luxury for me. A rarity.

5.
I am a sucker for horror stories. Books, movies, stories, whatever. I collected horror story books and enjoy watching horror stories. The more terrifying the better. Dont get to indulge anymore though coz my princess absolutely abhore any kind of horror. So its a no no in our household.

6.
I am a sucker for gory stuff as well. Gimme head chopping, dismemberment of human bodies, blood splattering any time. During my final year course, we had to study forensic science subject. One of the field trip was to attend and watch a post mortem being performed on a real life corpse (of course the corpse was truly dead and not alive. I mean who would be in the right mind to keep quiet and let someone cut him up from his navel up to his chest or stuff his brain inside his stomach?). Most of the guys opted out half way through the post mortem and by the end of the procedure there were only 4 of us left in the room and i was the only female. It was fascinating stuff. But dont give me any gory, terrible, abused images or stories about children. I cannot stomach any kind. Please.

7.
I cry easily. Really. I'm sensitive like that. Not many know this but i only cry when nobody's around. Nowadays the only human that can easily see me cry would be mr hubbs. Mana taknya, anak balik kampung pun menangis, tgk gambar baby mati accident pun nangis, tengok gambar budak sakit pun nangis.

8.
I'm a positive person. I seldom think bad about people. I always try to justify others people's bad behaviour. I always try to see things from the other side of the coin. Some people find this irritating sometimes.

9.
I don't have a shred of creative juice inside of me. If you know my mom you would know that she is one heck of a creative lady. Apparently its not hereditary. Took me 6 years to finish a cross-stick picture. I can't draw to save my own life. But i did dable in some creative writings long long time ago. Ada la a few short stories, poems, sajak and the likes.

10.
I was once very thin. I mean really small and thin. I can eat like a horse and still wear a size xs. But that was before i got married. Apparently my size grows as my family grow. I blame the gene. Ni semua salah mama! Hehe.

11.
I am addicted to internet. I get depressed easily if i am unable to go online.

"Hello. My name is Jo. I am an internetholic".

12.
I absolutely love durian. And sardin goreng with nasi panas (yum!). And dark choc. And burger tepi jalan.

13.
I am an independant person simply because I don't know how to ask for help when i need one. And i hate having to depend on someone else.

14.
I have a slight OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). Colour coded hanger where all the hangers must have the same distance between each other. Same types of clothings e.g. pants are grouped and hanged together to dry. A clean workstation. A self made system for cookery, clothing, everything (u get my drift). But since i am also a kick ass lazy bum my OCD has taken a backseat. Hence the messy home.

15.
I am quite good at reading people. I normally trust my 1st instinct on people i just met. I have even rejected a tempting job offer just because I've got a spidey sense during an interview with the ceo that i may not be able to get along well with him. I can feel the feeling of others especially the negative ones especially those close to me. For example I can sense anger or sadness or tension. When i say i can feel, it means i can actually feel the intensity of that feeling myself. Difficult to explain but there you are.

16.
As any typical female, I love window shopping. I am not a branded person. I cannot differentiate between a jimmy choo, a cartier, a gucci or a channel. Camna nak differentiate kalau kenal pun tak.

17.
I don't know how to cook. I can cook standard dishes. I cook kick ass sambal and my kids love my nasi goreng. But that's where my cooking skill stop. Thank god for myresipi.com. hehe.

18.
I was a tomboy in school. I dress like a boy, act like a boy, walk and talk like a boy, got a hair cut like a boy (the shortest crew cut the barber could manage). Wore skinny tight jeans. In all black from top to bottom. Listened to thrash, black metal, hard rock, punk. Gimme sepultura, megadeath, sodom anytime. Cuba dengar lagu2 camtu sekarang. Mau bersimpul2 otak. Age caught up with me.

19.
I dont play sports. And i dont care about sports. I was once a sprinter, a netballer, a long jumper in primary school. In secondary school i was a avid spectator and cheerperson. Never a sportman. In college n uni lagi la hampeh.

20.
I am a farter. I fart everywhere and am proud of it. Most family members have been a victim of my fart attack. When i was small i was even able to recognise the owner of a smelly fart. A useful skill as a mother of small children. If you must know.

There. 20 of me for your reading pleasure. Not too hard though the longer the list the longer the pause for me to think. Good exercise. Reminds me why i am me ^_^

Penglipurlara - hiburan minggu ini

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Sun, 14 Sep 2014 07:42:00 +0000

Cerita ceriti hiburang minggu ini nukilan abang Aydin untuk adik Ariz

Cerita 1 - cerita ultraman
Pada suatu hari. Ada raksasa dengan robot. Itu aje.

Cerita 2 - cerita ultraman
Pada suatu hari. Raksasa lawan. Lepas tu raksasa lawan. Lepas tu raksasa lawan. Lepas tu raksasa lawan. Lepas tu bla.bla.bla

Cerita 3 - cerita zombie
Nak cerita zombie tak? (Intonasi soalan)
Nak cerita zombie? (Intonasi heran)
Nak cerita zombie tak! (Intonasi jerit)
Nak cerita zombie lah (Intonasi penyataan)

Cerita 4 - x ada tajuk
Ariz busuk kecik kenot.

Sekian nukilan abang Aydin.

Much Ado About Exams

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Sat, 13 Sep 2014 04:55:00 +0000

My heart goes out to all UPSR 2014 candidates who at 11 or 12 years old have to deal with disappointment and frustration having to retake their english and math papers all over again. That is on top of having had to deal with parental, school, teacher, peer, relatives pressure to get straight As since last year i would imagine. All because of unscrupulous individual or someone who was over enthusiastic to share leaked exam papers.

What is happening? UPSR je kot? I remember my UPSR days. All the way back in 1988. My batch was the 1st batch that took UPSR nationwide (there were trial groups that took UPSR instead of Penilaian Darjah 5 the previous year). I changed school in another state in the middle of that year knowing absolutely nobody only 2 months before the exam following my family. I was singled out by 1 teacher in my previous school (long story of which i did blogged about it before tapi malas nak cari link) and missed out on a lot of topics. If you are an introvert like me, you would understand how stressful those circumstances are for 12 year old me. But i never remember being stressed about UPSR. It was not a big deal to me. I didnt even understand the magnitude of having such an exam. Maybe because it was the first big exam i was taking.

However i have had exprience with leaked exam papers before. During SPM month, some boys broke into the science lab the night before amali science. They wanted to search for the exam paper but couldn't find it. All they could find were equipments to be used during the practical exam. 1 particular item that they found of which i still remember till today is senduk with 3 lubang and so everyone cracked their head trying to piece out what would the test be based on the equipments prepared. Lepas susah payah panjat bumbung still tak boleh agak apa benda soalan exam.

Another time was during our final paper for final exam for degree. It was a new subject just introduced that semester of which nobody knew the purpose. I don't even remember the name of the subject. We always get exercise mock exam papers mysteriously on our table a few weeks before the real exam. Being diligent students that we were, no questions were asked about the origin of the exercise papers but we would sit down and attempted those questions. Turned out the real exam questions was a replica of the test that we have been doing before that. Questions were exactly the same. Only the names were changed. There were a big hoo haa when some lecturers found those exercise papers outside of the exam hall. Those whom had written their names on the exercise papers were hauled before the disciplinary committee for cheating. The whole class came together and decided that if any of those charged are convicted, everyone in class will boycott the graduation. It was a happy ending tho coz everyone graduated that year with no exception (except those yg kena repeat paper cannot help la kan).

Why is there a leak? Because there is demand. Because parents wants their kids to get straight As. Because the parents want the children to go to a full boarding school be it MRSM, RMC, MCKK, TKC, STF, SMAP or whatever school they think would be good for their children. Because the school wants more grant from the ministry. Because the teachers want recognition from their employer and parents.

But to stoop so low to leak UPSR exam papers? Come on! You are talking about 12 year olds here. Those children will still go on to form 1 next year no matter the result. What about those parents who share the leaked questions with their children? Have you stop to think what values you are teaching your children? You can be whatever you want to be with a little bit of cheating. Go on and cheat. Its good for you.

???

Also, the fact that scares me the most is that the parents of these 12 year olds, those who leak the exam papers, those who share the exam papers are most likely gen-x parents. My generation. What have we become to be so uncrupulous like this? What will be of the next generation if these are the lessons that they are being taught in life?

My eldest will sit for UPSR next year. I hope i won't be as anal as some parents. At the end of the day the 12 year olds are still kids. Not scientists or professors. At least i will make sure my kids enjoy their childhood and understand that learning is a fun thing to do. I'm not to anal about the As. I'm more concern about shaping my kids to be a reasonable considerate understanding loving human being.

Yang tu yang penting kott...

BECAUSE THIS IS TOO HILARIOUS FOR ME JUST TO SHARE THE LINK, I AM RE PRODUCING THIS (CUT AND PASTE)

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Fri, 29 Aug 2014 08:38:00 +0000

this is hilarious because it describes my current nite life to a t. That 11.30 pose? yerp.. true story that one! You can find the actual post at:

http://crappypictures.com/what-it-is-like-to-not-sleep-at-night-illustrated-with-crappy-pictures/#comment-363014

***

WHAT IT IS LIKE TO (NOT) SLEEP AT NIGHT – ILLUSTRATED WITH CRAPPY PICTURES™

JUNE 9, 2011 COMMENTS (876)

INTRO: Here is installment #2 in my “real life parenting” series. I draw crappy pictures because I don’t have actual photos of these experiences. Here goes…

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I’ve always been jealous of my husband’s ability to fall asleep and stay asleep. It isn’t his fault that he is a deep sleeper. But I can’t help it. It totally pisses me off.

We climb in bed at 9:00PM…

By 9:03 my husband is completely asleep.

I’m nursing my youngest and haven’t even begun to think about sleeping yet. I lay there motionless, pretending to be calm and relaxed so he’ll fall asleep. Anyway, I’m cold since the blankets aren’t on my top half.

So I pretend to be sleeping but really I’m going over the “to do” list or re-winding conversations from earlier. Or having pretend conversations that might happen in the future. On a good night the baby settles pretty fast.

Finally, around 10:00PM he is asleep. Success! He rolls over and my body is my own for the first time all day. I can pull up the blankets a little. I close my eyes for real. Start to relax and let go…

Until I hear a noise.

Becoming a mama has given me heightened spidey senses. A tiny noise a mile away wakes me up like a mama bear, ready to protect her young.

My husband did not inherit this quality with parenthood.

Wide-eyed, I strain my ears to hear. This particular noise is one I’m all too familiar with.

Enter 4.5 year old. I thought he was asleep by now. He has no concept of being quiet while people are sleeping, so he barges in loudly asking for random shit. I have to jump out of bed and rush him out of the room so he doesn’t wake the baby. This attempt is successful about 50% of the time. Lets assume it was successful tonight.

So now I’m in the hallway, hearing my 4.5 year old’s demands and bargaining with him. Water, bathroom or covers on or off, etc. I have no real power here, I’ll agree to anything to get him back in bed quietly. When he has exhausted all the standard stuff, he finishes by needing to tell me something very important, like “I saw a rock today on the ground and it had dirt on it and I forgot to tell you! ” and I steer him back to his room.

By the time I head back to my bed, the baby has turned into a starfish. Legs and arms stretched out, taking up my whole side of the bed.

I slide next to and under him being careful not to wake him. I can’t move. I’m scared to breathe. This is a very delicate situation. I have to move him. I have to risk it.

The first attempt to move him just makes it worse. He swings both arms and legs on top of me. He is stirring now so I can’t move a muscle. I’m like a statue while I listen to his breathing to hear when he is in a deep sleep again to move him.

Finally, it is midnight and I’ve successfully moved him. I haven’t heard my 4.5 year old in a while so he must be asleep too. I fall asleep for the first time!

Until I’m woken by a foot in my eye. I try to ignore it. A foot in the eye is a sign that he is starting to move into a lighter sleep. This means he’ll wake up completly to nurse soon.

So we’re nursing again. I’m half asleep but not mostly just feel like a zombie. My mind wanders to weird stuff. I close my eyes and see flashes of people and places like a dream except I’m awake.

Finally he settles again and rolls away. It is 2:30AM and I can finally get some realsleep! It is very unlikely that either kid is going to wake me up again. Sweet sleeping bliss.

Until the two cats come in at 5:00AM and announce that they are hungry. They continue make this announcement every 15 minutes or so. I ignore them. But theyknow. They know I’m their target. They know I’m awake no matter how hard I pretend. They finally settle on my feet so that they will be alerted the moment I stir. I get a few more minutes of sleep.

Only to be woken at 7:00AM for a new day. My 4.5 year old skips into our room and gleefully sings, “Morning! It’s morning time!” Which wakes up the baby who replies with “Mownin!” Then they start jumping on our bed.

Even this doesn’t wake up my husband. He is sound asleep. Sometimes I look at his chest rising and falling with his breath to confirm that he is alive before unleashing the kids on him.

“Go see Papa” I grumble.

They have to poke his head and repeat “Papa!” over and over and he finally wakes up.

And what is the first thing out of his mouth? The one and only thing I DON’T want him to say?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SID)

noreply@blogger.com (J.A.D) — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 06:48:00 +0000

A member of an fb group where i am a silent reader posted a message that her exclusively breastfed child no 4 of nearly 4 months old passed away while sleeping when they had both happily went window shopping for a new baby carrier earlier that day. Cause unknown. I don't know her at all but her message deeply affected me.

My Ariz is nearly 4 months old. My Ariz is an exclusively breastfed baby. My Ariz is the 4th child. My Ariz is a healthy baby with no serious illness.

My Ariz is just like her baby.

And the very real risk of sudden death like that scares me to tears.

That is one of my biggest fear. And i can't stop crying

:'(