The Cleveland Free Times - All Stories

News Lead: You Will Believe A Dude Can Fly - AST Dew Tour, Thursday, July 17

By Anastasia Pantsios

I’m surprised no one has thought to ask Nick Lowe to rewrite his song “I Love the Sound of Breaking Glass” as “I Love the Sound of Breaking Bones” to be the theme song for the annual AST Dew Tour, a series of skateboarding, BMX and freestyle motocross sports competition lifestyle events held in cities across the country for the last four years.

At the five events, athletes in six different, potentially bone-crushing skills earn points to become champion of their domain.

The daily Outdoor Festival with its vendors, freebies, athlete autograph signings, and chances to try your hand at a rock-climbing wall, a dirt-bike track and RockBand for PlayStation, and a 9 p.m. concert tomorrow by Plain White T’s provide distraction when there aren’t bodies flying in the air trying to maintain contact with bike or board after spinning in the air multiple times.

The AST Dew Tour Right Guard Open starts at 2 p.m. today at the North Coast Harbor and runs through 6 p.m. Sunday. And if you can’t make it down, you can see highlights on NBC Sports tomorrow through Sunday. Tickets: $15 single-day, $35 fourday pass and up. Call 216.241.5555 or go to ast.com.

Music Lead: Warped Tour - Our Picks For The Annual Skate/punk/corporate Sponsorship Affair

The Academy Is...

Like every band from Chicago, The Academy Is... gained positive reviews and lots of MySpace hits with a debut album that seemed too clever and innovative for another band from the city that brought us Fall Out Boy. Almost Here secured the group as a "band to watch." Unlike others, though, The Academy Is... always gave the impression of a band larger than its indie confines. With its sophomore album, Santi, it channeled some of the rock-star stadium-packed persona of classic rock, but didn't live up to it. While the album received mixed reviews, it did have some standout tracks. "We've Got a Big Mess on Our Hands" is an edgier rock 'n' roll take on the band's signature sound and "Everything We Had" is a pleasing reminder of the music The Academy Is... wrote before its members tried to be rock stars. While the record was a valiant effort, fans fell in love with the band for its emo hooks and insightful lyrics. See if The Academy Is... returns to its roots for its third album when Fast Times at Barrington High comes out in August. — Brittany Moseley

Against Me!

Ask any musician and they will tell you that it's easier to write a sad song than a happy song and that it's easier to write an angry song than an upbeat song. But in a scene inundated with negative sentiments and pessimistic tones, Florida punk band Against Me! isn't necessarily known for happy-go-lucky numbers. It aimed for something uplifting with last year's New Wave. The album was largely written while the band was on tour supporting its previous release Searching For a Former Clarity, formulated during sound checks and eventually sliced down from 25 songs. It perpetuates the group's signature raw, driving punk sound and politically tinged, self-aware lyrics. Against Me!'s recent decision to leave indie label Fat Wreck Chords and ascend the major-label ladder to Sire Records may have left some fans crying "sell out," but the band was unfazed. And despite some of the lyrics on Clarity that decry the music industry as a whole, the band is confident Sire will boost the band's visibility in the music world. — Emily Zemler

Angels and Airwaves

Toward the end of their decade-long career, those potty-mouthed punks known as Blink-182 had finally started to mature. Blink's last album, a self-titled effort, had songs about more serious subjects. That mentality has also carried over to Angels and Airwaves, a relatively new band led by former Blink singer-guitarist Tom DeLonge. To date, it's released two albums — 2006's We Don't Need to Whisper and last year's I-Empire — and there's not a single reference to masturbation between them. I-Empire is a conceptual affair that picks up where the band's 2006 debut, We Don't Need to Whisper, left off. And, according to frontman DeLonge, making the album, which is a bit punchier and more straightforward than the lush We Don't Need to Whisper, was easier. The two albums together form a distillation of DeLonge's various musical interests. While he describes himself as a "modern-rock kid," he also cites Peter Gabriel, the Who and the Cure as influences. He's a fan of contemporary punk and likes electronic music, too. But like the last Blink album, Angels' two discs are often described as showing off DeLonge's "maturity," and that's meant as a compliment. — Jeff Niesel

Bedouin Soundclash

Another band from the up-and-coming Canadian influence in independent music is Bedouin Soundclash which, unlike its contemporaries (Wolf Parade, Arcade Fire) from the land of Labatt Blue, plays inspired ska and reggae music. Bedouin Soundclash has gained an ever-growing fan base in its native country and overseas since the 2004 release of Sounding a Mosaic. The Canadian number-one hit "When the Night Feels My Song" is as laid-back sounding as it is catchy. Street Gospels, its 2007 release, features the standout song "St. Andrews," which is no doubt played in Caribbean resorts. With its optimism and sing-along chorus, this tune will be sure to inspire fan interaction. The BS catalog is full of many songs that are hooky and uplifting, often reminding us to just relax and take a load off. While not Sublime (pun totally intended) in nature, Bedouin Soundclash hits most of the same notes and often gets similar results. — Ryan MacLennan

The Color Fred

For four years Fred Mascherino was in the background. As guitarist/singer of Taking Back Sunday, he was wing man to energetic lead singer Adam Lazzara. Now, though, he's no longer in the back. After quitting Taking Back Sunday last year, Mascherino released his debut solo album, Bend to Break, as The Color Fred. Unlike the guitar-heavy emo songs his former band is known for, Bend to Break is less tormented teenage anthems and more acoustic pop melodies. From his time in Taking Back Sunday, it was clear Mascherino had talent, but his debut proves he can do more than sing back-up. "If I Surrender" pairs rock riffs with lyrics that expose a vulnerable yet eager side to Mascherino, while "Complaintor" sounds like a song Taking Back Sunday could have one day been mature enough to write if Mascherino had stayed. The closing "Don't Pretend" is six minutes of acoustic heart-on-the-sleeve music that sounds confident and raw at the same time. Compared to Taking Back Sunday's scene-shaping album Tell All Your Friends, Bend To Break is the little record that could, and who doesn't love an underdog? — BM

The Horrorpops

Although often labeled as psychobilly, the HorrorPops' stylistic identity goes beyond mere punked-up rockabilly. Sure, the group has a lot of Cramps blood in its veins, but the H-Pops also embody the broader spirit of Adam Ant, Siouxsie Sioux and the B-52's. The HorrorPops are throwbacks to that whole subculture of wild, high-energy rock performed in outrageous outfits and eccentric makeup. The group's latest disc, Kiss Kiss Kill Kill, is a kitschy collection of cinema-themed tunes fueled by scorching guitars and female vocals. The band's recordings are hot stuff, but the ultimate HorrorPops experience is their obsessively staged concerts. The musicians' volatile chemistry and the mania of go-go dancers Rita-tah and Tweek demand to be witnessed live. — Michael David Toth

Jack's Mannequin

Jack's Mannequin is the side project of Something Corporate's singer and pianist Andrew McMahon. Jack's Mannequin reveals a more personal storytelling songwriting by McMahon than his work with his other band. Due to release an album in 2008, the band has provided audiences with sneak previews of the much-anticipated record. But for the most part, Jack's Mannequin is famous for tunes from its 2005 release, Everything in Transit, which features songs that are always charming and endearing, often balancing a melodic piano with surprisingly atmospheric drum rhythms. Whether it be a relatable song about escaping the mundane ("Holidays From Real") or the instantly dramatic world of a guitar and drum barrage that's beautiful when undercut by the piano bliss ("The Mixed Tape"), Jack's Mannequin offers a unique brand of piano-dense rock. — RM

Say Anything

Just think: If lead singer Max Bemis hadn't been a depressed, bipolar Jewish kid who spent time in a psychiatric ward, Say Anything's music would be real boring. After his bipolar disorder caused the band to cancel two tours and jeopardized the release date of its debut album, Say Anything released ...Is a Real Boy in 2004. Ironically, what threatened the band's future also made Say Anything popular. Bemis' label as a lunatic/gifted musician made for powerful, blunt, self-deprecating songs. The band's second album, In Defense of the Genre, is just as autobiographical as the first, and it picks up where the debut left off. However, the two aren't identical. If ...Is a Real Boy was about Bemis discovering he was bipolar, In Defense of the Genre is a coming to terms with it, not just for Bemis, but for the whole band. The album is Say Anything's Sgt. Pepper's and with 27 songs, it channels a year in the life of one of emo's favorite bands. Although some may say Bemis is exploiting his disorder for the music, it's an empty accusation. The best musicians write what they know, and no band is doing it better than Say Anything. — BM

Street Dogs

Street Dogs singer Mike McColgan has been known for several things beyond his current band: being the singer of Dropkick Murphy's in the late '90s, being an outspoken and highly educated political activist who served in the military during the Gulf War, being a firefighter in the Boston Fire Department. But on Street Dogs' fourth record, State of Grace, it becomes clear that music is McColgan's first love. State of Grace is an impassioned collection of raucous Irish-tinged punk-rock songs that actually sound like they come from the Boston music scene. The songs may not be all that poetic or melodically beautiful, and occasionally even bitter and engaged in tone, but they come across like love letters to music. Speedy, pounding tracks like "Mean Fist" and "Two Angry Kids" overflow with the musicians' adoration for their craft; you can practically hear the joy with which the band executes the songs, particularly "Two Angry Kids," which offers a calm little opening before it explodes into an admittedly catchy punk number. Street Dogs are often overshadowed by their more well-known peers, especially those also from Boston (ahem, the Unseen), but State of Grace is one of those albums that proves this band is helping to keep punk alive for all the right reasons. — EZ

Van's Warped Tour: Opening noon Thursday, July 17 at Time Warner Cable Amphitheater, 351 Canal Rd., 216.241.5555. Tickets: $37.25.

Being There: Alkaline Trio - House Of Blues, Thursday, July 10

By Ryan Maclennan

The sold-out crowd that awaited the Chicago-based emo act Alkaline Trio at the House of Blues showed the kind of patience you don't often see from punk audiences. Prior to playing, the band took nearly 45 minutes to set up its equipment and run through one final sound check. Despite chanting "Trio! Trio! Trio!," the crowd didn't become too unruly as it waited. The fact that the band looked so pleased when it finally started playing — singer-guitarist Matt Skiba appeared on stage with a broad smile on his face and wearing a pair of oversized sunglasses — helped to smooth over any resentment for the interminable wait. The band's set featured a great mix of material from its six studio albums, including several tracks off its latest release, Agony and Irony.

Highlights from Agony included "In Vein," which had bassist Dan Adriano giving a stellar vocal performance and found Skiba dancing frenetically at the front of the stage. "Mercy Me" sent the crowd into a state of poetic hysteria and had everyone singing the words in unison. The band also played the rarity "Warbrain," which is featured on Rock Against Bush, Volume 1. During "Old School Reasons," the crowd was in a frenzied state with fans surfing, and Skiba stopped the show as a young fan was injured. He instantly grabbed the mic and said, "Hold on, people are getting hurt over here. No one needs to get hurt for some stupid-ass reason." He then handed the young lady a water bottle and told the fans that caused the problem to calm down and picked up the song like nothing happened. When one fan spat at Skiba, he wasn't fazed, either, and dodged it and laughed into the microphone and exclaimed, "You missed me, dickhead!"

After those few tense moments, the band sprang into "Help Me," a song about Joy Division singer Ian Curtis that Skiba described as "a song about a boy from Manchester." After the trio walked off stage, the crowd immediately burst into the "Trio!" chant again and the band came back out, explaining that it "forgot" to play a couple of songs. The encore featured "For Your Lungs Only," which Skiba said it hadn't played in 11 years, and "Radio." Both songs were gratefully received and sent the audience home after a lengthy set.

Gavin DeGraw
House of Blues, Friday, July 11

Gavin DeGraw attracted a decent crowd Friday night, proving that fans have remained loyal to the New York singer-songwriter after a five-year hiatus. As soon as DeGraw came on stage wearing a T-shirt, jeans and one of his signature hats, it became apparent why he has so many enthusiastic fans; this down-to-earth guy has great stage presence, but above all things, he has soul. Launching into "Relative," a track off his latest self-titled album, it was evident DeGraw has gained a rock edge, singing less about Mother Earth, yet staying true to his popular sound. Switching back and forth between electric guitar and piano, there was no doubt DeGraw has a natural talent. The party really got started with "Chemical Party," which gradually led into a bluesy rendition of Creedence Clearwater Revival's "Proud Mary." DeGraw also covered the Ronettes' "Be My Baby" before belting out his hit single "In Love with a Girl."

At one point during the 90-minute set, DeGraw serenaded an overwhelmed fan, finishing by saying, "I'd kiss your hand, but it's too far away." However, the best moment of the night came when DeGraw stood on top of his glittering silver piano, telling the audience to keep it down so that he could sing without a microphone. While several audience members remained quiet, others screamed in order to disrupt the calmness. After commenting on the intimate moment, DeGraw joked, "That's why I like playing in small places, if only those few motherfuckers would shut up," leading to an uproar of approval from the audience. There's just something about rock stars and swearing; fans love it. After ending things with "I Don't Want to Be" and "Chariot," DeGraw stuck out his tongue in excitement and made sure to touch everyone's hand in the front row before leaving. On the way out, one of the few men in attendance shouted, "I may have been only one of 10 guys here, but that was awesome!"

Marie Digby opened the show, starting things off with her upcoming single "Stupid for You." Although Digby looked ever so gleeful, swaying her glistening locks back and forth to the melody of the keyboard, her bandmates seemed less than thrilled to be sharing the stage. After singing her current single "Say It Again," Digby aroused attention with her controversial YouTube hit "Umbrella" following a series of technical difficulties. While several members of the audience seemed confused with this acoustic version of the successful Rihanna song, others sang along happily, though it was DeGraw whom the crowd eagerly anticipated. — Lauren Yusko

Three Doors Down
Blossom Music Center, Friday, July 11

The mood at the Three Doors Down show at Blossom verged on obnoxious. Liquored-up frat boys sat side by side with bikers and teenage girls all with a common goal: to hear every radio single Staind and Three Doors Down have ever put out. They definitely achieved their goal. Three Doors Down didn't disappoint the fans who came for the hit songs we've all heard a million times. They played them all, from "Kryptonite" to "Duck and Run." The crowd was treated to polished, album-worthy renditions of their favorite songs. Three Doors Down even threw in the proverbial sing-alongs, arm waves and generic in-between-song banter. They made an attempt to be visually appealing by playing some of their videos as backdrops to several songs but, unfortunately, this only upped the cheese factor and made the band look trite. One song blended into the next to form a weird commercial slush of sound and the pseudo-sentimentality expressed in their lyrics was so generic, it usurped any hope of it coming across as genuine.

Staind opened the evening with a set that was bland and uninspired. It gave the crowd exactly what it wanted as it played single after single. Standing as if he was glued to the spot, frontman Aaron Lewis delivered note-for-note vocals that replicated the sound on the CD, and he simultaneously managed to not move an inch for the entire show. I wondered if he was actually alive up there, because he certainly looked like a mannequin with a mic. Staind even tried its hand at a cover song, Bob Seger's "Turn The Page." This was just as unoriginal and overplayed as the rest of the songs. You could have gotten the same result by turning your radio on and staring at a picture of the band. — Lois Elswick

Local Dirt: Summit Meeting - Original Regional Acts Get Their Chance To Rock The Docks

Normally, an event like Summit County's Rock the Docks on Springfield Lake between Lakemore and Springfield townships, which features an American Power Boat Association hydroplane regatta, food, vendors, family activities, fireworks, skydivers, the Starboyz motorcycle stunt team and other entertainment, calls on cover bands and tribute acts to provide the musical backdrop. But the organizers of the first-time event decided to do things differently, giving the nod to more than 30 local original rock acts. Lorie Strittmatter, who's overseeing the entertainment, explains how she got involved: "My husband is on the organizing committee and he came home one day and said, "They've got a DJ, karaoke and a barbershop quartet.' I thought it was important to showcase our local original talent and what they have to offer. It seems to be like all-original bands get the shaft. They either have to pay to play or find clubs where they know people." She called on her friendships to assemble the roster of Northeast Ohio acts, primarily from the Akron, Canton and Youngstown areas, including Waterband, Last Stone Cast, Nemesis 3, David Ullman, Templeton's Zeal, Winslow, Rob Metz, the Greg Wagner Project featuring Breaker guitarist Wagner, Ellen DeGenerate and Sarah Burgess, an American Idol contestant from the Youngstown area. Acts will be playing on two stages on opposite shores of the lake, with the north-shore stage featuring mostly lighter music, acoustic, folk and country acts, and the south-shore stage offering metal and rock acts. Music runs from 4:30-11 p.m. Friday, July 18; noon-10:15 p.m. Saturday, July 19 (followed by fireworks); and 11:45 a.m.-8 p.m. Sunday, July 20. A ferry will take guests between the two shores. The event's free. Go to rockthedocks.org for more info. — Anastasia Pantsios

Trumpet Sensation plays Brothers

Young jazz trumpeter Aaron Kleinstub, who graduated from high school just last year, is following the footsteps of another locally bred trumpet prodigy, Dominick Farinacci, who's now enjoying some international acclaim. Like Farinacci, he headed east to New York's Juilliard School, where he's just completed his first year. And he too cut his teeth at Tri-C's respected high school program where he had studied with Steve Enos and had the opportunity to perform in the annual Tri-C JazzFest. He's earned numerous awards as well as scholarships to the Berklee College of Music Summer Camp and Vail Jazz Workshops (see myspace.com/aaronkleinstub for a full bio). He'll show his hometown friends and fans what he learned at that fancy New York school when he plays at Brother's Lounge (11609 Detroit Ave., 216.226.2767) from 8-11 p.m. Tuesday, July 22. Admission: $10. — AP

Tailgate Party at Beachland

Indie record store Music Saves (15801 Waterloo Rd., 216.481.1874, musicsaves.com) is drawing out its fourth anniversary celebration as long as possible with yet another event: a pre-show tailgate party prior to the Hold Steady show next door at the Beachland Ballroom. There will be barbecue, drink specials and music courtesy of DJ Bill from I Rock Cleveland (irockcleveland.com). It starts at 6:30 p.m. in the Beachland Tavern (15711 Waterloo Rd., 216.383.1124). It's free. — AP

Ayler Documentary Returns

Groundbreaking jazz saxophonist Albert Ayler, one of the most adventurous free-jazz musicians of the '60s, began and ended his life in Cleveland: He was born in Cleveland Heights and is buried in Highland Park Cemetery in Beachwood. In between, he joined the Army, moved to Sweden and New York, and found international adulation among aficionados of the avant-garde. With his provocative recorded legacy and mysterious death (he was found floating in the East River in New York in November 1970 at the age of 34), he's continued to fascinate people, among them Swedish filmmaker Kasper Collin who produced the 2005 documentary My Name Is Albert Ayler. It includes performance footage and interviews with the musician's local relatives in an attempt to capture the elusive musician. The film screens at the Cleveland Museum of Art Lecture Hall (11150 East Blvd., 888.CMA.0033) at 7 p.m. Friday, July 18. Tickets: $8, CMA members $6, seniors $5, students $4. — AP

Wrestling Anniversary

Come for the wrestling, stay for the music. Both are bound to be loud and uninhibited when Cleveland All-Pro Wrestling presents its 15th Anniversary Show at the Phantasy Nite Club (11802 Detroit Ave., 216.228.6300) with music by punk rockers Hostile Omish and Amplexus, which blends melodic and extreme metal, following the grappling. Doors are at 6 p.m., bell time at 7, music at 10:30 on Saturday, July 19. Tickets: $15 ringside, $10 general admission. — AP

Locals Only: Eclectic Company - The Reunited Mirrors Have A Surplus Of Songs

By Anastasia Pantsios

Mirrors, one of those Velvet Underground-worshipping Cleveland underground bands of the '70s frequently dubbed "legendary," played its last show with its original lineup on Sept. 18, 1975 in the courtyard of Case Western Reserve's Mather Building. Founder, guitarist and primary songwriter Jamie Klimek walked away from the group to play with Mirrors' keyboardist Paul Marotta's Styrenes, and later in the '80s, while living in New York, he played his songs with a trio version of Mirrors featuring Marotta and drummer Paul Laurence.

Now, the band has arisen from the ashes of a tragedy to perform together for the first time in more than three decades with Klimek, Marotta, Laurence, guitarist Jim Crook and bassist Craig Bell. With the exception of Laurence, all are original members. When guitarist and former Mirror Jim Jones (who later joined Pere Ubu) died early this year, his friends gathered at the Beachland to pay tribute to him.

"At the Beachland memorial, we started talking to [Beachland owner] Cindy [Barber] about it," Klimek says. "We were just going to goof around and all of a sudden it started turning into something a little different."

Klimek says there was nothing inherently stopping the group from reassembling earlier; in fact, he says, "I had written a batch of new songs toward the end of last year, early this year, and I'd been talking to Jones about getting all the guys together just to try these out, see what happens. I said, "I'm thinking of calling the other guys; are you interested?' He said, "Sure, but I don't know what I'll be able to do.' We talked about it at some length. I said, "Jim, isn't it amazing? We're all still alive!'"

The biggest obstacle standing in the way of a reunion wasn't reluctance but geography.

"We're pretty far flung," says Klimek. "Paul and Paul Laurence are in New York City. Jim Crook lives in upstate New York, and Craig Bell is in Indianapolis. If we'd been closer together I'm sure we'd have gotten together much, much sooner. There wasn't anything in particular keeping us apart. We just needed a kick in the ass to say do it."

Another spur to action was a call from a fan in Portland, Oregon named James Englebeck who wanted to re-release some of the band's old material, an eclectic lot that ranged far beyond its Velvets roots, covering '60s British pop, proto-punk, garage rock and early Pink Floyd psychedelic influences.

"This kid called and wanted to put out a record on that new-fangled vinyl kids are talking about, culled from stuff we released on Scat and Overground," says Klimek. "The album is called Something That Would Never Do on the Violet Times label. It should be released in fall."

Meanwhile, each band member is learning a set list that includes 17 songs, a three-song encore, 12 possible alternate tunes and several new tunes.

"We've actually got a surplus of songs," Klimek says. "We'll try to figure out what works and what doesn't and whittle it down. It's a good problem to have. We're perfectly prepared to play as long as anyone wants to hear us. It's basically going to end up on the day of the show we're going to decide.

"This is a cooking band and it still is," he promises. "We're taking this very seriously. This is not seat-of-the-pants stuff. Everybody's rehearsing on their own. We're going to rehearse together the afternoon of the show. It's going to be amazing; it's going to be absolutely astounding. The only problem is we're playing with much smaller amplifiers and we're not going to be able to bludgeon the audience as properly as we'd like, although we're working on upgrading things."

Klimek speaks fondly of Mirrors' departed member, whom he says was a regular companion since they got back in touch in the last five years. "We had all this shared experience. Basically he was the only guy I knew in town that I could talk to. Everybody else had departed for different shores and he was just a nice guy to call up and shoot the breeze with. We're putting him on the guest list and we're hoping he'll show up."

Mirrors, Home and Garden, Rainy Day Saints: 9 p.m. Saturday, July 19 at Beachland Tavern, 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216.383.1124. Tickets: $8.

Quickening
Crisis Or Catharsis (self-released)
myspace.com/quickening[/url]

This indie-rock trio has progressed enormously on its fourth album, on which lead singer and songwriter James Isom displays a wide range of emotions, truly creating a catharsis of his own and vocalizing the band's musical sincerity. The album's opening track, "Let It Go," perfectly demonstrates the bittersweet feelings of love and loss, setting the tone for the rest of the tracks, which give off an electric therapeutic vibe. "Island" proves this is a band that can deliver not only emotional sensibility, but also powerful vocals and apt lyrics, accompanied by an amazing combination of exhilarating keyboards and defining drum rolls. The fast-paced "3" shows off a mesmerizing guitar solo midway through the track, while "Bury Me" is just as catchy, though it closely resembles the Killers' "Mr. Brightside." With a variety of styles, this band is definitely not going anywhere except up. — Lauren Yusko

The Muttering Retreats
The Muttering Retreats (self-released)
myspace.com/themutteringretreats

The Muttering Retreats deliver an intelligent mix of music that will have you humming along to the catchy tunes. With its self-titled debut, this freshly established indie-pop trio shows itself to be a group of artistic naturals who exhibit a wide range of literary and lyrical expertise. Although the trio may sound like a mix between Death Cab for Cutie and Ben Folds Five, the members create a distinct sound of their own, offering a lyrical reverie accompanied by an array of instruments including organ, accordion, clarinet and even a filing cabinet. Each sound adds character to the songs reflecting the members' cynical, scholarly and buoyant attitudes. Tunes such as "Cupid Always Misses," "Modernism 101" and "Screw You & Your Beachfront Property," a song paying tribute to the band's Cleveland roots, energetically captivate. — LY

Soundcheck: Chubby Checker - Inventor

Chubby Checker didn't write the song "The Twist," but he helped make the tune and the dance a national sensation. The golden oldie, who performs Wednesday at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and then signs copies of his new CD, won't let you forget about his place in rock history. They don't call him Chubby for nothing. Checker (Ernest Evans) hawks snacks through The Last Twist Inc. when he's not sweating off the calories performing. The 66-year-old musician spoke about his influence in a recent phone interview. — Ed Condran

The last time we talked you compared yourself to Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison and George Washington Carver. That's pretty serious company.

They're all inventors. I'm an inventor. I'm an important person because of "The Twist." It changed the music business. No one danced apart from the beat before the Twist happened. It was No. 1 twice (in 1961 and 1962) and who else has done that?

The Beatles did it.

Dick Clark once said, "The three most important things to happen in the music business are The Beatles, Elvis Presley and Chubby Checker."

That was then. Is that still so now?

Yes. I've had quite an influence.

How?

Look at the dances I invented, and I'm not just talking about the Twist. There's the Fly and the Pony. Kids are doing the Fly and they don't even know that they're doing it. It's raise your hands in the air and wave them like you just don't care. The Pony, two on one side and two on the other, is the biggest dance of the last century. I would say that's pretty important and influential.

So should you be a running attraction at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

Yes, I want my flowers now. I can't smell them when I'm dead.

The press you've received hasn't been that flattering.

The bottom line is that my fans are loving it but for some reason most publications just knock me down. For some reason they can't say, "He was great." They have to come up with some negative angle. They'll say all the people who come out to see me have gray hair. That's who they'll focus on when I'm on TV. They show the Beatles music and it's all young people listening to it. I don't understand it. Thankfully though, that's not what matters most to me. What is most important to me is the music and getting out there in front of the fans.

What advice do you have for someone who wants to become the next Chubby Checker?

The toughest thing in this business is to have patience but you got to have it. The other hard thing to do while being patient is to behave yourself. You also have to work hard. That's what I've always done. I wouldn't be where I am if I didn't work so hard.

You have The Last Twist Inc. but do you also own Checkers and Twist pretzels?

No. Everybody thinks I own these places and I don't. I'm not angry with these people that own them. They love me. It's all good for me. I have fun doing whatever I do. It's great for me because singing goes along with eating. It's good times.

How difficult was it growing up in gritty South Philadelphia?

It wasn't easy. Kids would want to get into fights with me because I had manners. It wasn't an easy place for a kid who was trying to be good to grow up. But I have lots of great memories.

But the memories of performing on American Bandstand must be a lot better.

Yeah. They're just really different too. I had a good childhood and once things started breaking for me, look out. I had a ball. I wouldn't trade anything for nothing. It all worked out for me. I have no complaints. I look back at things fondly.

Any plans to retire from performance?

Anyone who is in the rock 'n' roll business is between 62 and the graveyard. The Rolling Stones are all over 60. Eric Clapton, Aerosmith, Willie Nelson. It's the same thing. They're all just going to sing until they dry up, and I'll be right there with them. There's no reason to stop. That's the great thing about being an entertainer. You can go as long as you want to go. I still have fans from all over the place that want to see me do my thing.

Chubby Checker: 6:30 p.m. Wednesday, July 23 at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, 1100 Rock and Roll Blvd., 216.515.1939. FREE.

Music: Almost Famous Amos - Singer-songwriter Returns With Last Days At The Lodge

By Jeff Niesel

Since releasing his first EP in 2003, singer-songwriter Amos Lee has had a number of experiences that are the kinds of things most musicians wait a lifetime to experience. He toured both Europe and the States with Norah Jones, opened for Bob Dylan, and appeared on just about every late-night talk show that there is. But the highlight, so far, was sharing the stage with veteran folkie John Prine.

"The most surreal moment was playing John Prine's guitar when we were singing 'Paradise,'" Lee says via phone from a Toronto tour stop. "It would be like if you were a pothead and got high with Willie Nelson. My mom and stepdad were in the crowd at the show in Philadelphia. His whole people are really cool. I'm a huge fan, and he's a great guy."

Lee, who's just released Last Days at the Lodge, a stellar album of soul, R&B and rock that's the culmination of his short career, wasn't always so in touch with the roots of American rock 'n' roll. Growing up in Philadelphia, he listened to mostly hip-hop and R&B and confesses his first cassette was the Beastie Boys' magnum opus, Licensed to Ill. But then when he went south for college, he got a gig at a "really small record shop," and that opened his mind to all sorts of new things.

"You could bring anything home with you," he explains.

When he returned to Philly, he would hit the occasional open mic and eventually ended up at a friend's studio out in Ardmore, Pennsylvania.

"I sat in his studio for two months and all we did was play NHL 94 and make the record upstairs. It was the most fun I've ever had recording."

Eventually that self-released EP found its way over to Blue Note Records and impressed the higher-ups enough that they signed Lee to a deal.

"They wanted to make more than one record," he says of Blue Note. "I didn't consider the fact of having a hit. I just wanted to have a career."

Then came the European and US tours with Jones.

"Her crowd is a music-loving crowd," he says. "She's the best singer of the generation. If you like music, that's what you go see. So that was the perfect audience for me."

Produced by Don Was (Rolling Stones, Al Green), Lee's new album has a bit more of an edge to it, thanks in part to the fact that session guys like Doyle Bramhall Jr., Spooner Oldham and Pino Palladino all play on it. It's apparent from the opening track, "Listen," a tune that could pass for a Ben Harper song with its inspirational vocals about "angels falling" and other cataclysmic events, that Lee has upped the ante.

"I wrote that a while ago," he says of the tune. "I wrote that eight years ago. You can always see this stuff coming. It's pretty broad in its way. I was listening to [Dylan's] 'It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding).' I wrote it more in that way. It's a real simple song and boiled down to the essence."

While Lee won't say the album has a political bent to it, he admits it's probably informed by the social changes that seem imminent.

"It feels like to me everything in this country is getting a little tight," he says. "There's always change and everything is happening. But the focus needs to be tighter. Government is out of control. I think we have a lot of potential for coming together. So much in our lives pushes us away. By that I mean we get lost in the nooks and crannies of technology. We're the best and brightest. If we need to get something done, we can find a way to do it. I think there are possibilities."

Amos Lee: 7:30 p.m. Sunday, July 20 at House of Blues, 308 Euclid Ave. 216.241.5555. Tickets: $18.50 advance, $20 day of show.

Music: Meet The New Boss - The Hold Steady Makes Heartfelt Rock Hip Again

By Frank Lewis

The Hold Steady must be cool with oft-made comparisons to Bruce Springsteen. The band's fourth album, Stay Positive, opens with a rousing number that would do the E Street Band proud, with sometimes-pounding, sometimes-pretty upper-register piano work backing the straightforward, unflashy guitar. All that's missing is a sax solo.

But it's the band's carefully crafted lyrics that have always reminded this Jersey native of the Boss's populist poetry. Though the edges of the Hold Steady's story-songs are sharpened by generationally appropriate jadedness, they still evoke Springsteen's most dearly held values - clear-eyed but empathetic regard for the ragged and damaged characters relegated to the fringes of society (Magic Rat, meet Holly Lujah), and unshakeable belief in the power of youth and rock.

That aforementioned opening track, "Constructive Summer," conjures the latter, and opens the CD with such gusto that you figure the band's been dying to get back on the road. Singing about young people in a dead-end town, Craig Finn implores, "This summer, grant us all the power to drink on top of water towers /With love, and trust, and shows, all summer (Get hammered!)/Let this be my annual reminder that we can all be something bigger." Spirited but not corny, it's an anthem the likes of which few have pulled off since, well, you know.

On the more sober side, there's "One for the Cutters," another that draws on songwriter Finn's fascination with flawed people who make bad choices - in this case, a college girl with a secret dark side ("Sniffing on crystal in cute little cars, getting nailed against dumpsters, behind townie bars"). Set against harpsichord (yes, harpsichord), the song is more plodding than typical Hold Steady fare, but still intriguing, if only for illustrating just how good songs can be when not mucked up with the melodrama that too many performers fall back on.

And that clarity is what makes "Lord, I'm Discouraged" one of the band's most gripping and heartbreaking tales to date. The narrator is a man who's in love with an abused woman who either doesn't want help or is beyond asking for it. "She keeps insisting that sutures and bruises are none of my business/She says that she's sick but she won't get specific ... This guy from the north side comes down to visit, his visits they only take five or six minutes." Even when begging God for a sign that he sees or cares, Finn steers clear of maudlin or sappy. "Bittersweet" is an overused word, but this song truly is.

Longtime fans will find much on Stay Positive that's familiar: sarcasm and word play, references to other Hold Steady songs, mentions of places (including Cleveland and, of course, Ybor City), spiritual subtexts, all layered over grinding guitars, airy keyboards, and sometimes both. And longtime fans will love it. So, too, will anyone who appreciates rock with heart and brains, or who's ever wondered what's going on these days in Jungleland.

The Hold Steady performs with the Loved Ones at 9 p.m. Thursday, July 17 at the Beachland Ballroom (15711 Waterloo Rd., 216.383.1124). Tickets: $15 adv, $17 dos.

Music Calendar: Not Just A T's - Plain White T's At Ast Dew Fest, North Coast Harbor, Friday, July 18

Most bands don't tour until after their new release comes out. But for Chicago's Plain White T's, the summer represents an opportunity to fine-tune their live act and show off some of the tracks from their forthcoming album, Big Bad World, due out in September. "We have a full summer for sure," admits guitarist Dave Tirio via phone from a Milwaukee tour stop. "Even though we are in a transitional period, we do have a lot of new material. The album should be done soon. We'll put the finishing touches on it through the summer and should have a single by the end of July." Formed by high school friends nearly 10 years ago, the band's fan base grew quickly after the success of 2006's Every Second Counts, which yielded the spunky hit "Hey There Delilah." The group also benefited from being part of a burgeoning Chicago scene. "We were more suburban," Tirio says of the band's roots. "Right when we were starting up, there were tons of bands and a really booming scene. We got to exchange fan bases once we started playing in the north suburban scenes with Fall Out Boy and the south suburban scene with Mest." And yet the band really took off in Europe, where it remains more popular than it is in the States. "Until we reestablish ourselves here in America, I think we'll be bigger in Europe," Tirio says. "We haven't done a headlining tour in the US since "Delilah' got big. We'll do that in the fall and then headline in the spring. Things just went smoothly in the UK. All the points lined up and serendipitous stuff happened. But we're excited to come back to Ohio. I used to date a girl from Ohio." Plain White T's perform as part of the AST Dew Tour at 9 p.m. at North Coast Harbor. Tickets: $15-$35. — Jeff Niesel

THURSDAY, JULY 17

John Mayer

John Mayer has come a long way since his "Your Body Is a Wonderland" days. After major-label success with Room for Squares, Mayer made a risky but smart decision, ditching his acoustic sensitivity for rock and blues to form the John Mayer Trio in 2005. Mayer gained substantial critical praise, proving that he is not just a sensitive singer-songwriter, though he still has the girls swooning. While being influenced by Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughan and labeled one of the "new guitar gods," he's collaborated with musicians such as Common, Eric Clapton and Fall Out Boy, diversifying himself and showing that there is something there for everyone. His 2006 album, Continuum, became no less of a success and combined Mayer's signature pop sincerity with grooves, while his bittersweet single "Say" became his highest charting single to date. With Where the Light Is, Mayer's latest CD/DVD recorded live at the Nokia Theater, three sets are featured: one solo acoustic set, another with the John Mayer Trio and the last with his touring band, providing fans with songs not available on previous albums and delivering a musical workout with powerful vocals and mesmerizing guitar playing. If anything, Mayer sounds better live, making his old music sound impressively new with such clarity. Colbie Caillat and Brett Dennen open at 7 p.m. at Blossom Music Center (1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216.241.5555). Tickets $30-$55. — Lauren Yusko

FRIDAY, JULY 18

Widespread Panic

The jam band Widespread Panic is the Rolling Stones of Southern rock. In 22 years, the six-piece group from Georgia has released 19 albums, headlined Bonnaroo seven times and is one of the highest grossing live bands. It's already sold out several dates on its summer tour in support of its latest album, Free Somehow. It's also Widespread Panic's first album with guitarist Jimmy Herring, who joined after co-founder and lead guitarist Michael Houser died in 2002. While other bands of the same age keep performing the same songs they did 20 years ago, Widespread Panic has continued to evolve, and songs on the latest album were influenced by Hurricane Katrina and the Virginia Tech massacre. Widespread Panic adapted while keeping the bluesy rock 'n' roll sound it's known for. The show starts at 7 p.m. at the Plain Dealer Pavilion (2014 Sycamore St., 216.241.5555). Tickets: $33.50 advance, $34 day of show. — Brittany Moseley

MONDAY, JULY 21

Cherry Poppin' Daddies

It takes a certain type of song for "Weird" Al Yankovic to cover it. The Cherry Poppin' Daddies' "Zoot Suit Riot" was that song. It's also the song that brought the band record sales and got them labeled a swing band. That was 11 years ago though. They've released three albums since then, including the latest Susquehanna. Although the album features the swing sound that made Cherry Poppin' Daddies popular, it also includes ska, Latin dance and happy rock 'n' roll in the vein of the Beach Boys. The themes of the album are as deep as the New York river it's named after. The airy number "Breathe" is about living to the fullest before you run out of time. When lead singer Steve Perry sings, "This is the dream that they thought they would lead" in "The Mongoose and the Snake," it sounds like he's singing about Cherry Poppin' Daddies' struggle to be seen as more than a dance band. Susquehanna isn't all serious, though. "Wingtips" and "Bust Out" remind listeners that Cherry Poppin' Daddies still know how to make you move. Madison Crawl opens at 7 p.m. at Peabody's (2083 E. 21st St., 216.776.9999). Tickets: $14 advance, $16 day of show. — BM

!!!

Call !!! anything you want. No really, you can, as long as it's a monosyllabic word repeated three times. Most people call them Chk Chk Chk. Just don't call its music predictable. With eight members (half from Kenya, half from the States) playing everything from saxophone to the synthesizer, !!!'s music blurs genres and borders. The band formed more than a decade ago and somehow managed to combine funk, punk, dance rock and glam into songs that were trippy enough to work. Its last album, Myth Takes, takes all those influences and more, making it an album that would be just as popular if it was released 30 years ago. Even though Myth Takes came out more than a year ago, people are more than happy to see the group, new music or not. The band is known for its energetic live shows that turn into all-night indie dance parties. Just try not to tap your foot when !!! plays the Grog Shop (2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216.321.5588). Extra Golden and Icy Demons open at 9 p.m. Tickets: $14. — BM

TUESDAY, JULY 22

King Khan and the Shrines

As usual, Europeans seem to know what's cool before US fans. Germany was introduced to King Khan and the Shrines in 1999, and now the band is touring in the US for the first time. After releasing Three Hairs & Your Mine and Mr. Supernatural, the band — which includes Khan and 10 others — gained popularity and some memorable gigs, including shows with the Black Lips and an afterparty for 50 Cent. The latest album, The Supreme Genius of King Khan and the Shrines, is a throwback to '60s psychedelic rock complete with trumpet, organ and tenor saxophone. The album includes some of the best tracks from the band's last album, What Is?!, and earlier songs. Even though the band is the size of two normal bands, the music is never overpowering. Instead, each musician contributes something different, giving King Khan and the Shrines a vintage sound that many popular bands have tried but failed to accomplish. See what made Khan King when his band plays the Grog Shop (2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216.321.5588). Half Rats and the Dimeras open at 9 p.m. Tickets: $8 advance, $10 day of show. — BM

Over the Rhine

In nearly two decades as Over the Rhine, Linford Detweiler and Karin Bergquist have grown into more than a married couple of musicians. They're one of the most consistent American songwriting teams on the market today, churning out song after fanciful song in such an eclectic fashion that the result is a timeless, down-home vibe for just about anyone, black to white, sea to sea, city on out to the fields. Maybe if they hadn't chosen Cincy as their headquarters years ago (naming themselves after one of the city's historic districts), they'd be more of a household name by now. But that's never been the goal. Combining elements of everything America's grown to be known for — jazz, country and blues to cabaret, soul and folk — OtR has consistently delivered with virtuoso instrumentation and that torchy voice of Bergquist's. The group garnered one of PASTE magazine's first five-star reviews for 2003's dreamy double-disc Ohio. Dylan's taken them on tour as an opener, and they've been named "adjunct" members of the Cowboy Junkies. But not until recent years have they started to sell out venues on their own. See what the hubbub is about when the group performs at 8 p.m. at Cain Park (Superior and Lee roads, Cleveland Heights, 216.241.5555). Tickets: $2. — Dan Harkins

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23

Jeremy Jay

Normally, I'm inclined to distrust those who have a Christian name as a surname; these people have long struck me as a little noncommittal, or as if they are hiding something. I'll make an exception for K Records artist Jeremy Jay. The LA native is so wispy and thin that you might actually bet on Deerhunter/Atlas Sound frontman Bradford Cox to win if the two were on one of those celebrity boxing shows. In addition, he populates his debut, the mostly excellent A Place Where We Could Go, with time-warped tunes that evoke any number of 1950s rock songwriters filtered through a distinctly Jonathan Richman-style whimsy. Tracks like "Hold Me in Your Arms Tonight" and "Heavenly Creatures" are utterly earnest, with Jay's heavily reverbed and double-tracked vocals still somehow sounding naked. The ballads of this thin man are almost guaranteed to warrant a strong reaction from a prospective listener; you'll either fall in love or wince uncontrollably. Jay and locals JJ Magazine open for Film School at 9 p.m. at the Beachland Tavern (15711 Waterloo Rd., 216.383.1124). Tickets: $8. — Chris Drabick

Discourse Feature: John Mellencamp - Love And Freedom (hear Music)

After experimenting with the blues on 2003's misguided Trouble No More, singer-songwriter John Mellencamp seemed rather lost. It was as if the iconoclastic rocker couldn't quite figure out what to do so he turned to the tried and true. But Mellencamp is known for his original material and, while I wouldn't argue that his late '70s and early '80s material holds up well over time, Scarecrow and The Lonesome Jubilee still rank as definitive works. Leave it to producer T-Bone Burnett (Elvis Costello, Roy Orbison, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss) to get Mellencamp back on track.

This album has a sublime sound to it that's apparent right from the opening notes of "Longest Days," a tune that finds Mellencamp reminiscing on the way "life used to be." A song about broken dreams, it's every bit as affecting as anything on Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska, the album that Love and Freedom most clearly recalls, especially as Mellencamp sings "nothing lasts forever" and echoes the Boss' "Reason to Believe." With its raspy vocals and narrative twists, "John Cockers" ventures into Tom Waits territory and "If I Die Sudden" is a rumination on death that features a fuzzy guitar riff and spooky ambiance. The album's intensity never lets up as Mellencamp dwells on mortality ("Don't Need This Body") and revisits the trial of the Jena 6 in the haunting "Jena." Anyone who questioned Mellencamp's Rock Hall induction earlier this year would do well to hear just how well the man returns to form with this excellent album. — Jeff Niesel

Donna the Buffalo
Silverlined (Sugar Hill)

For the past 20 years, singer-multi-instrumentalist Tara Nevins and singer-guitarist Jeb Puryear have guided Donna the Buffalo through a sonic travelogue of American music, serving up a hybridized gumbo of bluegrass, rootsy rock, folk and country, spiced with exotic bits of Cajun and reggae. Considering the diverse genres that DTB draws upon and the freewheeling manner in which they interpret them — particularly with Nevins' Emmylou Harris/Dolly Parton/Natalie Merchant warble and Puryear's laconic Buddy Miller/Pat MacDonald delivery — the band has become a rootsy fave within the jam community.

For Silverlined, Donna the Buffalo's latest album, the quintet does what it's always done exceedingly well, which is incorporate a broad range of styles into its soulful American blend. The beauty of DTB's presentation and the secret of its success and longevity is the purely organic way it weaves genres together without diluting them, from the Memphis soul reggae of "Temporary Misery" to the winsome 10,000 Maniacs/alt-country sway of "Locket and Key" (featuring banjo sensei Bela Fleck) and the roots-pop jangle of "Broken Record." All of DTB's gifts are brought to bear on the Grateful Deadgrass lope of the title track and the kitchen-sink joy of the album's high-spirited finale, "Forty Days and Forty Nights." A good many bands can't generate this kind of enthusiasm and energy in half as much time and with half as many albums as Donna the Buffalo has sustained over the past two decades and seven studio albums. Long may they stampede. — Brian Baker

Eat Skull
Sick to Death (Siltbreeze)

Despite the doltish hardcore-esque band name and penchant for gruesomely titled releases (its last single was called "Dead Families"), Portland's Eat Skull produces some of the cheeriest, if a bit sideways, sunshine-blitzed summer sounds a listener could ask for. The band's full-length debut, Sick to Death is all distortion-fried basement-slop symphonies bursting with hooks that crustily take a cue, buried as it may get in the mix, from the convertible-cruising beach bunk of Jan and Dean and other fixtures of '60s AM pop. Supremely infectious melodies whir and crackle like they could fall apart at any second but, no matter the varying tempos, continue driving on, reaching a brainsick crescendo that soars to the moon and knocks my ass flat every cut. The production is as fittingly crude as the hand-drawn, juvenile sleeve that depicts slasher- flick heroes and mutants with bongs indicates it will be. The whole messy thing reeks of a mail-order, homemade pre-punk album that could've been advertised in one of the mimeographed fanzines that in 1973 were as unavoidable as the air pollution layered over our great country. — Steve Newton

Los Lonely Boys
Forgiven (Epic Records)

Catchy melodies accompanied by lame lyrics pretty much sums up Forgiven, the third studio attempt by Los Lonely Boys, produced by Steve Jordan (John Mayer Trio). Although this Texas trio of brothers — Henry (guitar), JoJo (bass) and Ringo Jr. (drums) Garza — brings out the essence of "familia" in its new rock album, the group winds up with likable tunes that remain predictable and unimpressive. Perhaps the best song on Forgiven is the edgy opening track, "Heart Won't Tell a Lie," where blues meets rock 'n' roll while also displaying Henry Garza's remarkable guitar chops. Another noteworthy track is "I'm a Man," as the brothers honorably take on the Steve Winwood/Spencer Davis Group classic, but the other songs that follow are noticeably dull. "Loving You Always" takes the trio back to its Tejano roots, sounding a bit like the group's award-winning "Heaven," though it lacks a certain spunk that made the brothers such a hit. Ringo makes a noble lead-singing debut in "Superman," but still, the lyrics tend to fall short, as they do in "You Can't See the Light," a supposedly inspirational song that remains, well, uninspired. The passion may be there, but the soul most definitely isn't. — Lauren Yusko

Yaz
In Your Room (Mute)

After leaving Depeche Mode and before forming Erasure, British synthmeister Vince Clarke had a brief but successful period with singer Alison Moyet as the dance-pop duo Yazoo (shortened to Yaz in the US for goofy legal reasons). Like the Eurythmics, Yaz paired a male synthesizer whiz with a soulful, charismatic, androgynous, alpha-female vocalist. Yaz shared the Eurythmics' icy new-wave coolness but furthered it with Clarke's effervescent melodies and Moyet's personable sweetness. This boxed set remasters both Yaz albums plus single sides and remixes on three CDs. There's also a DVD of music videos, TV appearances, and both albums remixed in 5.1 Surround.

Yaz's 1982 debut, Upstairs at Eric's, holds up fabulously as a nonstop masterpiece of UK new-wave dance pop, with a fascinating experimental playfulness throughout. Digitally diced-up dialogue explorations like "In My Room" and "I Before E" are admittedly dated but manage to defy being stale by being genuinely fun. And tunes like "Only You," "Don't Go" and "Bad Connection" are as infectiously catchy as pop songs get. Upstairs has proven itself as an addictive album that manages to be smart, cool and sophisticated without getting calculatedly artsy or soulless. The second and final original Yaz album, 1983's You and Me Both, has some hip tracks like "Ode to Boy" and is a classy, more even-sounding record. However, overall it lacks the memorably exhilarating quirks and carefree creativity of its predecessor. — Michael David Toth

Arts Lead: Judgement Days - Cleveland's Youth Slam Team Takes Poetry And Politics To Washington

By Michael Gill

Cleveland's youth poetry slam team is tired of what everyone else thinks of them. You could hear this as they erupted last week at Playhouse Square's Idea Center theater in their final performance before the trip to Washington, DC for the Brave New Voices International Youth Poetry Slam competition. The performance began with a team piece, all six members trading lines that foretold what was to come from each of them, in the way that an overture foretells the melodies of an opera. Poem after poem protested the treatment of gays, blacks and fat people, or the irresponsibly fantastic images of women that confront young girls every day, or the torment imposed by broken families, both on individuals and entire neighborhoods.

They're even tired of the surprise that comes when they defy expectations, expectations inevitably rooted in their race or the fact that they live in the inner city. Sarcasm drips from their mouths as Jonathan Lykes and his teammate Akeem Rollins deliver "Equality 666." "U speak so well while spitting that spoken word. You're so articulate and clean," as if it should be a surprise that a black kid speaks well and bathes. So the poets repeat the line, "And they say the subject is getting old."

"These are very popular subjects in these competitions, every one of them," says Lykes, 18, of Shaw High School in East Cleveland. "A lot of the issues are the same. The competition becomes about how good you are at expressing it."

The Cleveland Youth Poetry Slam team formed out of competitions sponsored by Playhouse Square, starting in January. Members are Lykes; RyanAustin Dennis, who just graduated Copley High School; Nkechi Edeh and Siaara Freeman, both of whom just graduated Brush High School; Eric Odum, who will enter his final year at Cleveland School of the Arts in the fall; and Akeem Rollins, a student at Tri-C. They've been coached by Cleveland slam masters Michael Salinger and Q-Nice.

In both adult and youth competition, political issues have dominated slam poetry in recent years because the content has been successful. Delivering a righteous point with rhetorical muscle has been an effective way to seize the judges' attention and, in the three minutes allowed in competition, carve out places in their memories, the better to score, the better to win.

The young poets from Cleveland work the style with literate virtuosity as their free verses stand up for themselves and others. In "The Coalition," Eric Odum eventually identifies himself as straight, but only after mocking the gay-haters: "Why is it funny to say homo, or to say that something's gay? How can gay be an insult? That's just like saying, that car's so black. Or look at his shirt, that's so Asian. Or damn, don't be so Hispanic about it."

In "My Substance," he verbally winks and laughs with hip-hop hubris as he makes a double entendre between weight and intellect. "You must be mad that in a winter storm I could live for days while your bony ass would be frost-bitten within minutes. My substance, no, no not my extra skin or the layer that you call fat. See, my intellect was too much for my head so my brain is stored in my body. Imagination flows so heavily that I can't express it all so I retain it like water."

Lykes alludes to Shakespeare's Sonnet No. 130 in a poem about standards of feminine beauty that begins, "My girlfriend was not the best thing I ever placed my eyes upon."

In her poem "Understanding," Siaara Freeman drags imagination through the pain of race relationships. After framing a diner scene, she proclaims, "I want to talk to this clocked parasite/take the icy rage from his eyes and place it in my coffee/let it mix with dotty's spit/then sip, slowly/so I can taste prejudice./I want to understand why my great-grandmother would never truly trust a white woman/and why me and Katy's friendship surprised her so. I need real racism to run through my veins/and not the diluted version of merely being followed in a store./I need to know this hatred so I can appreciate love."

In "Froze," Nkechi Edah describes the pressure on a Muslim girl in a Catholic school. "And she knows that her skin is not classified as black/her classmates call her a terrorist/and every time they ask if her father is one too, she cannot contain her tears."

Not all their work is so heavy. Freeman and Lykes perform a poem called "The Nineties," which is a catalog of nostalgia from the decade of their childhood, including ancient technology like the VHS, and primitive dances like the Running Man and the Cabbage Patch. The poem's serious note takes the form of a brief lament — that "we are the last generation who will actually be able to recall what real hip-hop is."

What that means is that they are looking for more substance and introspection than commercial hip-hop provides. As Rollins says, "Back in '80s and '90s, hip-hop would be about real things. People would write about crack on the streets, or love, about real subjects that are really happening to them. Our team is mostly tired of the "hip-hop is dead' poetry. But hip-hop really is dead because it's not talking about the real things anymore. People talking about how they're ballers and have a bunch of money and hos and all that. It's okay if you're doing all that, but how did you get there? People used to write about that stuff. They don't anymore."

At least the rappers don't. And in that sense, especially for that last generation of kids who remember when hip-hop was something more, slam poetry is filling a void. Society's constant judgement and deck-stacking against minorities has not gone away, and so the poets keep at it. The Cleveland youth slam team's work is a window on the city and on the kids' lives, a little like reading an eloquent and very personal newspaper focused more on truth than fact. And that's what they're taking to Washington.

Arts: The Eyes Have It - Contessa Gallery Shows Classic Avant-garde Works

By Douglas Max Utter

Examples of surrealism aren't exactly hard to find in present-day America. Consider Legacy Village on Cleveland's East Side. In a style of post-indoor mall shopping commonplace around LA, the stores pretend they're part of a mythically wealthy village, somewhere long ago and far away. Leased SUVs can dock near upscale goods while their drivers play platinum-card pirate in a fantasy of limitless, guilt-free consumption. It's the unconscious realm of the suburbs, dreaming improbable architectural follies, fueled by plentiful, pretty-good pizza. Sooner or later you wake up, of course, and take the bus (if you can find one) back to the land of crumbling infrastructure where real pirates seem to have sunk the economy before they sailed away.

But what the heck. Last Wednesday I went to Legacy Village and enjoyed it. I like to channel-surf reality as much as anyone. Plus a fake shopping village is just the right kind of place to find an honest-to-god blue-chip fine-arts emporium like Contessa Gallery, which was my destination. Art has no proper place in real reality anyway. Isn't that the whole point - to produce something useless, lovely, horrible and somehow true, then insinuate it onto the shelves and into the display cases of daily commerce? To plunk down real live art — especially classic surrealist art - smack in the middle of an imitation market town is exactly the right thing to do, not least because nothing says surrealism these days like a hefty line of credit.

Certainly it's a gesture that the great jester-chameleon, trickster figure Salvador Dali would have enjoyed to the tips of his famous mustache. The exhibit Kandinsky to Dali & the art of the avant-gardes is a first-rate, fascinating and meaty selection of small sculpture, huge tapestries and works on paper selected for sale by Chistine Argillet from the seminal Argillet Collection. Besides several dozen large and small prints by Dali, many of them hand-colored, there are several surprising and impressive names on the wall, attached to prints of genuine merit. A group of lithographs by Giorgio de Chirico are especially impressive, including one titled "Sole et Mare." Highlighted with light tints of yellow and blue, it shows a frantically vibrating abstract creature, like a bright pinwheel with tentacles, shining in the darkness of a doorway in a house near the sea. A hose-like attachment undulates from beneath it, snaking down the beach and out across the water until it reaches its double, the shadow of a setting sun, twirling on the horizon. The sun, lurking like an anarchist or an artist in a place it can't belong, pumps its darkness out to a spectral, public twin, setting up a circuit of identity that is at once a distraction and an advertisement, a suicide and a celebration.

More astonishing still as a parable of creative process is the centerpiece of the Contessa exhibit, a large Aubusson tapestry commissioned in the early 1970s by Dali and his long-time patron and friend, the publisher and collector Pierre Argillet. One of only eight ever completed, Contessa owner Steve Hartman says the 10-by-8-foot work was woven by a team of three or four master craftsman over a period of a year. The image was one of 13 chosen by Dali to be translated into wool. Two other Aubusson versions of Dali prints are on display at the Contessa exhibit, but "Argus" is the most impressive. A print of the large hand-colored etching on which it is based is also on view, a tour de force featuring Dali's characteristically nervous, vibrating lines. Enlarged in the weft of the tapestry, Dali's drawing gains mythic presence and surprisingly loses very little of its delicate force. An essay in the catalogue "The Argillet Era" available with this exhibit explains that Argus was a hundred-eyed creature of early Greek lore. When Zeus seduced the human woman Io, he turned her into a cow to hide her from his consort Hera's jealousy and set Argus to watch over her. Hera however persuaded Hermes to destroy the monster. Afterwards she bestowed Argus' eyes on her favorite bird, the peacock, and this event is the subject of Dali's fantasy. In keeping with the hyper-intense focus and hallucinatory combinations of his "paranoid-critical" compositional method, Dali re-imagines the scene: The peacock's tail has received an infusion of new DNA from the matron of the universe. As they explode across the upper three-quarters of the tapestry, the arching feathers take the form of a double helix - sweeping parabolas crisscross in waves, and at each intersection a human eye is suspended like a fly in a spider web. A nude woman on the lower left is Io, stepping gingerly out of her cow suit; rumpled at her feet the loose skin merges with other debris, including the headless body of Argus himself; leftover eyes are scattered here and there, and two figures near the center seem to be spectators. They lie on the grass and watch the transfiguration as if it were a fireworks display.

Or maybe the price tag knocked them off their feet. The masterwork is quite possibly a bargain at $500,000, but it's not in everyone's budget.

That's not the only case of sticker shock in the show, although it's the most extreme. Works by Hans Arp, Leonor Fini, Hans Bellmer and Wassily Kandinsky hang on temporary walls and in a series of intimate, booth-like spaces deployed along the margins of the gallery. None of these artists are likely to be encountered except under the watchful eye of a museum guard anywhere between Lyndhurst and New York's Upper East Side.

You really can't blame the gallery for locating its major showroom along the quaint, now five-year-old cobblestone streets. Legacy - legacy? - Village has proved to be a very profitable location, and anyway, Contessa's original, smaller space on Playhouse Square is still in operation, though no longer the favored location for major exhibits. "We really believe in downtown," Hartman insists, and I believe him. After all, a few years ago it was Contessa Gallery that joined with Cleveland Public Art to bring the great contemporary sculptor Louise Bourgeoise's enormous bronze spiders to downtown's Star Plaza for a too-brief, two-month-long visit. Like it or not, that was one of the more mind-bending gifts — a legacy of sorts — anyone has given the city lately, incomparably more interesting than much public sculpture, which if anything tends to overstay its welcome.

Kandinsky to Dali & the art of the Avant-Gardes: Contessa Gallery, Legacy Village, 24667 Cedar Rd., Lyndhurst, 216.861.9280.

Arts: Theater By The Tankful - Csu's Second Season Of Repertory

By Keith A. Joseph

As an avid follower and historian of Northeast Ohio theater, I can comfortably state that one of this year's most stirring romantic dramas played itself out last Thursday at Cleveland State University's Factory Theatre. It occurred at the opening of the second season of the CSU Drama Department's noble experiment labeled Summer Stages. This is an attempt to replicate for the benefit of students and local theater habitues a miniaturized variation of a Shaw Festival-style repertory theater.

Placed in the front row for public adulation were the university's regal old guard. In attendance was Joe Garry, the ever-dapper auteur of Cleveland's legendary Jacques Brel, seated next to his far larger-than-life muse and companion David O. Frazier. To their right: our most cherished and beatific joint acting institution, Dorothy and Reuben Silver. And to complete the eccentric grandeur was the presence of venerable designer and puppeteer Eugene Hare.

On stage, one of our newer veterans, Scott Plate, paid heartfelt tribute to what was and what hopefully will be. He extolled the lofty goals of the ambitious Summer Stages company of old pros and enthused theater students, coalescing to revivify a program that had become a desert.

The event was equal parts ribbon-cutting, passion play and Capra-corn. For our de rigueur hero we have to cast Michael L. Mauldin, director of CSU's dramatic arts program. Aspiring to be a combination Moses, Gerald Freedman and Sir John Gielgud, he's performing much the same services for nascent thespians as Victoria Bussert is doing for Broadway musical wannabes at Baldwin-Wallace. Both are attempting to lead their disciples out of the wilderness of amateur theatricals to the hoped-for milk and honey of professional theater.

To demonstrate Mauldin's vision, we look to the well-rounded esoterica that comprise his first two seasons. Last year, he paired Austin Pendleton's flawed chronicle of the acting Booth family with the folk fantasy The Robber Bridegroom. This summer he's programmed the similar, but much more rarely done Dark of the Moon, an eerie tale of Appalachian lore, based on the traditional folk song "Barbara Allen." On the other side of the universe, we have Rough Crossing, Tom Stoppard's adaptation and resetting of Ferenc Molnar's beloved sophisticated comedy The Play's the Thing. And for sheer commercial viability, there's also Galt MacDermont's "groovy" '70s version of one of Shakespeare's most forgettable comedies, Two Gentlemen of Verona.

Be warned, you won't be deceived into thinking you've miraculously crossed the border into Niagara-on-the-Lake. These shows are not comparable to the effortless souffles that annually delight the palate of John Simon and battalions of pilgrim English schoolteachers. Their most prevalent quality is a rough-hewn vitality and an eager-to-please ramshackle charm. But this often goes with some strange, though never dull, bizarre stylistic cross-pollination.

A prime example is director Plate's production of the Molnar remaking. Stoppard's 1985 nautical resetting slightly broadens the word play and comedy of the original. To visualize this almost extinct form of theater, you have to picture impossibly beautiful, temperamental demi-gods and goddesses, plumed like peacocks, dropping periodic bon mots. They interact with arched-eyebrow wry companions and sublimely silly servants, and perpetually find themselves caught up in madcap schemes. From Molnar, via Stoppard and PG Wodehouse (the play's first English translator), we have two egotistical playwrights and a neurotic genius of a composer. They've embarked on an ocean crossing and are about to surprise the composer's betrothed prima donna. Their surprise is even greater when they accidentally overhear that lady in the next compartment in a far too realistic love scene with her impossible ham of a leading man. In one of the great twists of theatrical history, it becomes the playwrights' friendly task to hurriedly write a scene incorporating verbatim the overheard dialogue in order to convince the composer that his intended was merely rehearsing a play.

To get some idea of how this sort of platinum machinery functions, one couldn't do better than to study the stylish innuendoes and impeccable timing of its greatest cinematic exponent, Ernst Lubitsch. Unfortunately, someone must have given Plate the wrong DVD, for he instills his production with the raucous abandon of a bottom-of-the-bill B movie. His ocean liner is five-and-dime, his heroine a gum-chewing chorine, his composer has the tics of a small-time hood, and there is added a comic servant purloined from Loony Tunes. Only Mauldin's playwright has a grasp on the required style. Just as Chaplin drew an entire existence from a derby, Mauldin derives exactly the right character from pince-nez glasses. Nonetheless, the voyage manages to remain enjoyable if strictly steerage class.

With its moody yearning and Appalachian ambiance, Dark of the Moon is one of those plays that cries out for musicalization by a Virgil Thompson or a Harold Arlen. Fortunately, director Everett Quinton, with a keen eye for casting and tone, brings out the inherent music in the script. This is another in an endless line of stories in which a supernatural being longs to be human to consummate an amorous itch. Lew Wallace, with his translucent, startling blondeness, makes the perfect embodiment of a live-by-night witch boy cut off from human relationships. His sincerity is echoed by the entire company in this heart-on-its-sleeve drama that can switch from Li'l Abner to Macbeth in a twinkle. Among the evening's more agreeable felicities is Margaret Ford-Taylor's Eartha Kitt-ish smoky Conjur Woman.

If you are among those who swear by Hair, you're likely to experience a similar spacey karma from the musicalized Two Gentlemen. It shares the same composer and italicizes Elizabethan bawdry with the same joyful abandon that Hair did for '60s love-ins. It's a natural selection for this young company, and it's absolutely stolen by Stephanie Nicole Wilbert as a subsidiary milkmaid with an eat-'em-up smile that threatens to devour the entire audience.

With the price of gasoline making a journey to our northern neighbors prohibitive, the cineplexes overstocked with overachieving superheroes and Progressive Field populated by discouragingly underachieving Indians, it's nice to have the reasonable option of civilized entertainment available on less than a tankful.

Rough Crossing, Dark of the Moon and Two Gentlemen of Verona: In repertory through Aug. 10 CSU Summer Stages, Factory Theatre, East 24th and Chester Avenue, 216.687.2109.

Arts: Vacation - Summer Painting Exhibition Is All You Ever Wanted

By Dj Hellerman

William Busta Gallery continues a streak of impressive showings by artists on its roster with its Summer Painting Exhibition. All of the pieces in the show were completed in the few weeks leading up to the opening, and it's extremely fresh and accomplished work.

In the very front of the gallery Eva Kwong's "Spotted Acalephoid," an approximately 24-inch-tall jellyfish-like ceramic sculpture, sets a light and playful tone. It's spotted, bright pink and the only object that's not on the wall, but instead is presented on a pedestal, all of which makes it difficult to miss. This bizarrely entertaining anthropomorphic little sculpture seems as though it will jump to the floor and chase visitors as they begin moving through the gallery.

Reminiscent of the stickies my mother would change every season on our overworked family microwave, Lorri Ott's brightly colored urethane resin and mixed-media abstract wall sculptures continue the visual fun. Juxtaposing Kwong's sculpture with Ott's creates a push/pull dialogue between the two artists' work: Kwong insisting on light and fun; Ott only flirting with those qualities while interjecting a more serious sensibility. Her tightly defined aesthetic alludes to a developed visual language, but the small sampling of her work within a group exhibition makes obtaining a more complete understanding a slightly more challenging task.

Changing to a new and smaller loom earlier this year, recent Cleveland Arts Prize recipient Hildur Ásgeirsdóttir Jónsson continues to produce soft and seductive silk weavings. Her palette is softer and brighter than I've seen in previous collections of her work. While still drawing inspiration from the Icelandic landscape, here she begins to explore and expand her depth of field. She's introducing vertical veils over horizontal fields to push the picture plane farther from the surface of the weaving. Jónsson continues to perfect her weaving while introducing subtle and quiet formal nuances. It will be exciting to see what develops next.

Showing his most successful work to date, Matthew Kolodziej has begun to translate his thick acrylic impasto technique into 30-by-22-inch gouache-on-paper works. Kolodziej loses the tactilely dense and layered effect of his straight-from-the-tube application of the acrylic paint, but achieves the same sense of depth and chaos by working brightly colored gouaches. These works on paper may be preliminary studies for his paintings. It is easier to make sense of the madness in gouache rather than acrylic. Shifting from canvas to paper reinforces his exploration of topography and creates a tighter connection to the cartologist/artist on a mission to document something slightly more metaphysical than merely recording terrain and elevation.

Free Times art critic Douglas Max Utter's work takes best in show (even if we do say so here on our own pages). His five paintings are brighter than usual for him and utilize a nearly uniform palette of kelly green, goldenrod and slate blue with cracking surfaces complicating the figurative faces. Referencing the palette and atmospheric portraits of Francesco Clemente and Francis Bacon, Utter's work emanates a dark, brooding psychology. In this grouping of work, he insists on telling deeply rooted stories of a troubled humanity. "Slander: Wig and Self Tanner" is the only work in which he uses a sepia wash. The wash, resembling the color and texture of self-tanning dye, falls from the top of the canvas across the figure's face, leaving only a section of the natural skin tone exposed. Contrasted against the natural-colored flesh, the self-tanning wash cuts a sharp psychological tear through his work and across the gallery. Using this technique Utter ignites the emotional gaze of the figure. Suddenly, the shape of the eyes, the clinched lips and the posture of the head expose the gravity of the character's mental conflicts. The character's presence is so powerful that one cannot dodge empathetic feelings. Quickly, an accompanying dose of self-criticism and self-awareness creeps into your mind and lingers for days.

Summer Painting Exhibition: Through July 26 at William Busta Gallery, 216.298.9071.

Arts Calendar: Heated Sensibilities - Cleveland Orchestra At Blossom, Saturday, July 19

A balmy July night under the stars of rural Blossom Music Center (1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls) hardly seems like the appropriate setting for the heated, distinctively 19th-century-Russian sensibilities of composers Tchaikovsky, Mussorgsky and Rimsky-Korsakov. Their brooding, emotive music will provide an interesting contrast to the environment when conductor Andris Nelsons makes his Cleveland Orchestra debut at 8 tonight. The program opens with the Rimsky-Korsakov arrangement of Mussorgsky's orchestral tone poem Night on Bald Mountain, followed by Tchaikovsky's Violin Concerto in D major, featuring another Cleveland Orchestra first-time guest, soloist Julia Fisher (pictured). The evening concludes after intermission with Tchaikovsky's towering 1878 Symphony No. 4 in F minor, in which his conflicted passions and fatalistic outlook got their most perfect sonic expression. At 7 p.m. tomorrow, Nelsons again takes up the baton, this time to direct the orchestra in Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique and Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 1 with soloist Orion Weiss, while Cleveland Orchestra Assistant Conductor Tito Munoz and the Kent/Blossom Chamber Orchestra will handle the pre-intermission program of works by Mozart, Stravinsky and de Falla. Tickets: $20-$42. Box office: 216.231.1111. — Anastasia Pantsios

THURSDAY, JULY 17

Hamlet

Hamlet, Hamlet, everywhere. Can't shake the guy loose this summer. While the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival is touring the morose prince around various outdoor venues in the Cleveland area, the Ohio Shakespeare Festival brings him to the lagoon at Stan Hywet Hall and Gardens (714 N. Portage Path, Akron) for a three-week stand in its seventh season there, starting with an open dress rehearsal at 8 p.m. tonight for only $10. The production formally opens at 8 p.m. tomorrow and runs through Aug. 2. Gates open at 6 each evening for you to picnic on the grounds (bring your own or buy a sandwich there); the "greenshow," a pre-performance opening act, starts at 7:30. Performances go on regardless of the weather so be prepared. Tickets: $15-$26. Box office: 330.315.3287. — AP

Dog Sees God

Several generations of kids have grown up with Charles Schultz's lovable Peanuts characters. But young playwright Bert V. Royal views them through a less lovable lens. In his play Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead, which was the sensation of New York's 2004 Fringe Festival, he re-imagines the characters as older, more cynical and way more dysfunctional. The play launches from a shocking event: a rabid Snoopy is put to sleep, causing C.B. (aka Charlie Brown) a whole lot of existential angst. Cleveland's young upstart theater ensemble Fourth Wall Productions, only in its second season, has scored the coup of giving the work its area premiere at the official opening performance at 8 tomorrow. Tickets: $7-$10. The show runs through July 27. Call 330.283.2442 for tickets and info. — AP

Chagrin Falls Art Walk

The work of more than four dozen artists will be on display and more than 35 shops, galleries and restaurants will be participating in the Chagrin Falls Art Walk in downtown Chagrin Falls from 4-9 tonight and noon-9 p.m. tomorrow. The town's an easy stroll; everything's close by. But if walking's a problem Lolly the Trolley will be on hand to help you get from place to place. There'll be artists on hand in many of the galleries, live music playing around the village, free refreshments and specials in the boutiques. Call 440.247.1895 for info. — AP

FRIDAY, JULY 18

West Side Story

Tonight, tonight, won't be just any night for the teenaged cast and crew of Near West Theatre's production of West Side Story: At 7:30 lights go up on opening night and the kids show their hard work to an audience. The 1957 show, with its indelible Leonard Bernstein score (Stephen Sondheim contributed lyrics to his first major show), is tailor-made for this diverse inner-city ensemble with its mission of breaking down walls between different groups through the teamwork of putting on a show. And since the Romeo and Juliet story recast in 20th-century New York deals with the extravagant emotions and sometimes destructive impetuousness of adolescents, it's especially poignant to see it performed by actors the same age as Tony, Maria, Riff, Anita and Bernardo. The show runs July 19, July 24-26 and Aug. 1-3 at the St. Patrick's Club Building (3606 Bridge Ave., Ohio City). Tickets are a mere $6. Box office: 216.961.6391. — AP

Altar Boyz

The theater gods (or demons) do not necessarily move in subtle or mysterious ways; they're damn Drama Deities half the time. Example: As Playhouse Square bids farewell to the Broadway touring show of Jersey Boys, the musicalization of the saga of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons, Beck Center for the Arts (17801 Detroit Ave., Lakewood) welcomes the area premiere of the Off-Broadway hit Altar Boyz. What's the difference? The newcomer is a pop-flavored musical satire about a latter-day boy band — not unlike the Four Seasons, actually, scrounged off the streets of NYC — who take advantage of America's ongoing religious mania and the Jesus-pandering commercial marketplace by promoting themselves as a hip Christian ensemble (albeit with a Jewish member), saving souls with a gospel sound that's N'Sync-ier than thou. It opens at 8 tonight and runs at 8 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays and 3 p.m. Sundays through Aug. 17. Tickets: $17-$28. Box office: 216.521.2540. — Charles Cassady Jr.

SATURDAY, JULY 19

Kim Bissett

Kim Bissett's airy, sinuous work has a musical quality - and that's intentional. In her artist's statement she says, "Like free jazz, I begin by laying down a few strokes — large, sweeping — I work to the scale of my body. Gradually, the piece begins to take on its identity, then that identity leads. I'm especially excited about finding that balance where things just hang together — one little push and they would fall apart." A sculpture major at the Cleveland Institute of Art where she earned her BFA (she also has an MA from Case Western Reserve), her clean-looking works also appear to depict heaving fantasy topographies. Her show opens with a free reception from 6-9 tonight at Cain Park's Audrey and Harvey Feinberg Art Gallery (Lee and Superior roads, Cleveland Heights). It hangs through Aug. 17. Call 216.371.3000 for info. — AP

TUESDAY, JULY 22

Ian Adams and Mary Alice Mairose

Gov. Bob Taft's years of invisibility in office culminated with a "no contest" plea to accepting illegal gifts. His wife Hope, on the other hand, made the most of her time as first lady of the Governor's Mansion in Columbus suburb Bexley, transforming its grounds into a series of gardens based on native Ohio flora. Her successor, the genial, guitar-playing Frances Strickland, is preserving Mrs. Taft's improvements and adding her own: an increased emphasis on food crops and those that could potentially be used to create environmentally friendly energy, as well as adding such clean energy improvements as solar panels and green roofs. Residence curator Mary Alice Mairose and photographer Ian Adams tell these stories and more in words and pictures in their new book, Our First Family's Home: The Ohio Governor's Residence and Heritage Garden. They'll be at Joseph-Beth Booksellers (24519 Cedar Rd., Lyndhurst, 216.691.7000) to sign their book at 7 p.m. today. It's free. — AP

Dining Lead: Oh, The Places You'll Eat - If I Knew Then What I Know Now ... I'd Still Take The Job

By Douglas Trattner

My first restaurant review for the Free Times was published on Oct. 3, 2001. It was a feature on Goodman's Sandwich Inn, a Parma institution that serves up this city's finest hand-sliced corned beef. They say novice freelancers should "write what you know." I knew Jewish deli, so that's what I wrote about.

Corned beef served straight up on soft rye with yellow mustard is certainly the biggest seller, followed by the brisket and then the pastrami. You won't find a Reuben, so don't ask. And although it ain't kosher to do so, you can get a slice of cheese on any of the sandwiches. The strangest request for a corned beef sandwich? "I once had a guy ask for grape jelly on his," Goodman recalls with a grimace.

Since 2001, I've had the pleasure of reviewing 400 restaurants, interviewing numerous culinary luminaries, and penning some enlightening food-related features. I sought this position because I believed I possessed superior food chops. Man, did I have a lot to learn.

Fried chicken and waffles was as foreign a concept to me as it was to the rest of the city when I wrote about Phil the Fire, back when Phil Davis worked out of the basement of the Civic rather than a proper restaurant. He went on to open - and close - two restaurants. Dim sum was something I felt comfortable writing about when I covered Li Wah's popular Sunday banquet. But even six years later, I vividly can recall the singular horror of beef tripe.

With a texture akin to cat's tongue and a flavor much the same, I can only imagine, I readily expect to see this dish on the Survivor food wheel.

It takes a spirit of adventure to be a successful food writer. Rare is the critic who can perpetually sidestep variety meats in favor of filet mignon. In the line of duty I've eaten eel, frog, cactus, tofu, schweinsbraten, ostrich, curried goat, oxtail stew, chopped liver, kimchi, vegetarian hot dog, questionable sushi, mofongo, Kentucky Hot Brown, chicken feet, even a deep-fried Twinkie. But even I sometimes draw the line, as I did at Empress Taytu.

Listed in a section entitled "If You Dare," kitfo is the Ethiopian version of steak tartare. Lean raw beef is mixed with hot sauce and served with homemade cottage cheese. I can't relate how this dish tastes because I did not dare.

Adventure is one thing, danger is something else entirely. I never imagined that my role as critic would place me in harm's way, as it did when I was served a blood-raw chicken leg as an amuse bouche. That it was served in the middle of the meal only made me that much more suspicious. Worse, I nearly ingested gelatinized gasoline once simply by ordering the beef yakitori.

Nudging the beef to one side, I see that the heat source is an open Sterno flame, with both wick and fire literally climbing up through the grate. Sterno, also called napalm, is not intended for direct cooking. Who can possibly enjoy napalm-scented beef? To his credit, the manager offers to remove it from my bill. It should be removed from the menu as well.

Despite opinion to the contrary, restaurant critics — at least this one — do not take pleasure in writing negative reviews. Still, critical reviews can alert readers to potential pitfalls. And properly penned, they can offer management a roadmap to brighter days. Here are some particularly egregious blunders.

When our server sets down a cup of seafood bisque, the contents in the mug continue to shake - jiggle, actually - for a good two seconds. "Is the soup normally this thick?" I ask the server. "No, it isn't," she states dryly. "Let me take it back and have the chef thin it out." ...

"There's nothing worse than over-cooked pasta," says my companion, who obviously has never tried beef tripe soup. The side of linguine, which should be firm to the tooth, is softer than Bob Dole after a glass of wine. ...

I don't know about you, but when I see a menu item called "hot clam dip," I pretty much have to order it. Let me tell you, hot clam dip is not as good as it sounds, unless a crock of melted cream cheese sounds appetizing. I had half a mind to ask my waitress to send over the captain. ...

Our strips of bacon look like desiccated pigs' tails, and they shatter like glass when touched. "They deep fry them," my server volunteers. "Looks like they left them in too long." Before I could say a word, she leaves to retrieve a fresh order. ...

As with any job, there are obligatory tasks that food critics must undertake regardless how unsavory. Among them are writing annual "Best Of" lists and patio round-ups, returning to a dismal eatery, eating eggplant, and attending the dreaded all-you-can-eat buffet.

Buffets are a calamity by design. Every other restaurant meal is made to order and delivered hot and fresh to the table. Not so at the buffet where food is prepared by the gallon and kept warm for long periods of time in a covered dish. Worse, on a list of foods sturdy enough to withstand such abuse, delicate breakfast items would sit near the bottom.

Some meals have been bizarre:

At one point, in the midst of flying spatulas and glinting knives, a severed and bloody finger bounces across the grill. Alas, it is a phony. Though the routine was hokey, this Japanese Jerry Lewis has us laughing right up to his bow and exit. And the food he left in his wake was no joke.

Others are just plain sad, as was this meal at Bistro du Beaujolais after the start of the Iraq war.

"Our business is off by 85 percent," says Georges d' Arras. It seems that although Georges considers every customer a friend, most have decided to stay home or eat elsewhere. And to this gregarious man with a pocketful of wine corks, nothing could be more heartbreaking.

One of the best parts of the job is spreading the word about little-known start-ups — places like tiny Pho Hoa, quirky Happy Dog, convivial Bistro 185, "hidden gem" Grovewood Tavern, Southern belle Henry's at the Barn, and up-and-comer Tremont Tap House. Inevitably, there are times I get to the party late, reviewing places that have been around longer than I. But just because a restaurant has thrived for decades doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy it.

The Diamond Grille is the stuff of legends, many of which may actually be true. But pity those customers who are neither Tiger Woods nor Vijay Singh, whose last names don't happen to be Firestone or Goodyear, because at the Diamond Grille there exists a rather patent dichotomy of treatment based on who you are — or are not.

Dinners out have provided me with opportunities not only to analyze new restaurants, but also new friends. It was over a lovely meal of snails and sweetbreads that I became smitten with Mosaica restaurant, and a gal named Kim. The restaurant is long gone. Kim, thankfully, is not.

Some guys are attracted to women with money. Others simply are breast men. But with me, it all comes down to food. I've given up on perfectly lovely women who refused to eat curry. I've thrown in the towel after a single date when one wouldn't try the freshest Malpeque oyster. So when, after sitting down at our beautifully appointed table, my date agrees to share a plate of escargot, I know that our future lies completely in her hands.

A long drive back from a bad restaurant can be absolute torture. But some of my favorite experiences have taken place miles from home. Little can top a high-summer trip to South Market Bistro in Wooster. The ride back from Chez Francois is rarely filled with regret. I have had the privilege of writing about restaurants in New York, San Francisco, Napa and Martha's Vineyard.

I very much enjoyed chatting with Anthony Bourdain, who offered this tidbit.

"The perfect meal will sneak up on you. You can't plan for it, you can't look for it, but it will hit you when you're half-drunk and least expect it. Cooking is a dominant act. It is all about control - of your time, your space, your ingredients. Eating, however, is all about submission. It's about sitting back in your chair, spreading your legs and letting whatever happens happen."

I've been sitting back in my chair and spreading my legs now for almost seven years. It has been the job of a lifetime, and one I would loathe to lose. Happily, I'm not going anywhere. Looks like we're stuck with each other for the foreseeable future.

Film Lead: Transcendental Journey - The Dark Knight Is More Than Just Another Superhero Movie

By Robert Ignizio

To call The Dark Knight a superhero movie is like saying that The Godfather is a gangster movie, The Unforgiven is a Western or 2001: A Space Odyssey is a science-fiction film. All these movies are certainly of their genres, but they also transcend genre. And yes, I really do think The Dark Knight is worthy of being mentioned in the same breath as those other films. I hate it as much as anyone when a movie gets over-hyped, but in this case it's not just hype. Earlier this summer, Iron Man proved it was possible to make a superhero movie that could entertain even people who normally hate superhero movies. But The Dark Knight proves it's not only possible to entertain those people, but also to do so in a film with substance and depth.

Writer/director Christopher Nolan took over the Batman franchise with 2005's Batman Begins, giving the character back the dignity he had lost in Joel Schumacher's execrable Batman and Robin. Still, as good as Batman Begins was, it was hindered by the need to rehash the character's origin and an incredibly weak female lead in the form of Katie Holmes. And the whole thing ended in an all-too-typical action-movie climax, undermining the tone of realism that much of the film had strived to create. Well, with The Dark Knight, the back story is out of the way, the excellent Maggie Gyllenhaal has taken over the role Holmes played and the big action set pieces are handled in a more believable way without sacrificing any excitement.

As the story begins, Batman/Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) has been making some real headway in cleaning up Gotham City, thanks in part to the help of policeman Jim Gordon (Gary Oldman) and new district attorney Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), who has more than just a working relationship with Wayne's ex, Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhall). But with this success comes unintended consequences. The Joker (Heath Ledger), a dangerous new criminal, offers to help Gotham's crime bosses get rid of Batman. In return for his help, the Joker says he wants money, but this isn't his real motivation. In fact, none of the reasons that usually motivate a movie villain apply here. As the Joker himself says, he's an "agent of chaos," and all he wants is to see society reduced to its basest level. As for what kind of past could have forged a creature like this, we're given several possibilities. Which explanation is true, if any, is left uncertain.

It's hard to make a character like the Joker come across as believable in a real world sense, but Ledger does it. He makes the guy into true nightmare material while still being all too human. Sure, there's a humorous aspect to the Joker, but it's humor of the blackest sort. And as obviously insane as the character is, he makes a certain twisted kind of sense when he explains his views on human nature. Ledger is absolutely amazing in this part, making Jack Nicholson's portrayal of the character seem almost silly by comparison.

But perhaps the most interesting story arc belongs to the character of Harvey Dent. Dent is exactly the kind of decent man the Joker wants to corrupt, and Aaron Eckhart makes the most of the part. Eckhart is so central to this movie that I'd say he's as much the lead as Christian Bale. Speaking of Bale, he once again does a great job as the caped crusader. It's not as flashy a performance as Ledger's, but it's the right one for the movie. And as much as people are talking about a Best Supporting Actor nomination for Ledger, I wouldn't be surprised if Maggie Gyllenhaal makes the short list for Best Supporting Actress as well. Rounding out the cast are Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Eric Roberts, all of whom bring their A game.

Co-writing the screenplay with his brother Jonathan, director Christopher Nolan has crafted a complex and thematically rich story that will bear up to repeated viewings long after the CGI thrills of lesser movies have dissipated. In some ways, The Dark Knight doesn't even feel like a superhero movie. It's more like a gritty '70s crime drama where a couple of the characters happen to dress kind of funny. But all that aside, it's also just a blast to watch Batman kick some ass. You can have your cake and eat it, too.

THE DARK KNIGHT: Opens Friday areawide

Film Picks: A Novel Approach - Reprise Pays Homage To New-wave Experimentation

The French new wave had run its course even before Jean-Luc Godard became a Maoist. But its heady influence and stylistic exuberance can still be felt across the cinematic globe. Filmmakers as diverse as Quentin Tarantino and Wong Kar-wai took much of their filmmaking ethos from the nouvelle vague, particularly early-to-late-'60s Godard. (I guess Pauline Kael was wrong when she predicted that nobody would dare follow in Godard's footsteps.) The latest movie to emerge swathed in the romantic fatalism and go-for-broke experimentation of the new wave hails from a most unlikely source. First-time writer-director Joachim Trier's Reprise may be Norwegian by nationality, but it's internationalist to the core.

One of the most accomplished and stirring debut efforts in recent memory, Reprise is, of course, beholden to Godard. Yet Francois Truffaut, particularly his 1962 masterpiece Jules and Jim, exerts just as strong an influence. Like so many of the cinephilic reveries that emerged from France 40-plus years ago with their impassioned dialectic between form and content, unconventional sexual couplings and reverence for the printed word, Trier and co-writer Eskil Vogt have chosen young men and literature as their conjoined subjects.

An alternate title for Reprise could be Portrait of Young Men as Artists, which, considering the near-Joycean density of its flood of words and images, makes a kind of sense. The film opens as boyhood friends Erik (Espen Klouman-Hoiner) and Philip (Anders Danielsen Lie) are preparing to mail their first novels out to potential publishers. What happens next is a matter of conjecture. Voiceover narration — a la Alfonso Cuaron's Y Tu Mama Tambien, another movie indebted to the French new wave — fills in some of the cracks, but trying to decipher reality from fantasy is as futile as it is beside the point.

Time becomes as relative a concept as "truth." Whether the events chronicled in Reprise are fact, fiction, nightmare or dream, Erik and Phillip's literary and romantic misadventures have the sting of real-life experience. Trier's non-linear approach to narrative structure is as Godardian as his melancholy lyricism (and playfulness) recalls vintage Truffaut. Women, naturally, are involved, particularly a lissome beauty named Kari (Viktoria Winge) whose resemblance to onetime Godard wife/muse Anna Karina is surely intentional. An attempt by Philip to rekindle his romance with Kari by returning to Paris — a city revered by both lovers and intellectuals — disastrously backfires, leading to his mental meltdown. Like much of Reprise, it's a tragedy that's laugh-out-loud funny, and a comedy guaranteed to make you cry.

One of the glories of the nouvelle vague was the thrill of infinite possibility you experienced while basking in a new film by Godard or Truffaut. Reprise brings back that same sense of discovery and exhilaration. Maybe that's why I found it so exquisitely moving and deeply nostalgic. — Milan Paurich

Reprise: Opens Friday at the Cedar Lee Theater, 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 440-564-2034, clevelandcinemas.com.

Planet B-Boy

Breakdance, we're told, is one of the four cornerstones of hip-hop culture, alongside turntabling, graffiti tagging and rap (other documentaries actually told me there are five cornerstones; guess messing with stupid suburban whitey film critics' heads makes it six). But soon after breakdance broke out in the mid-'80s (drawing inspiration from everything from kung-fu movies to the mad choreography of James Brown), it became rapidly commercialized, camped up and kitschified. Sights such as Ronald and Nancy Reagan beamingly beholding an onstage breakdance spectacle did the cultural equivalent of a drive-by to the art's street cred (the documentary doesn't choose to mention feature films on the level of Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo, but I'd suspect that Hollywood was even more guilty). Breakdancing thus fell from favor, except for pockets of grassroots devotees, or "b-boys," mainly outside the US. They seem almost universally male and more or less marginalized and "at risk" in their given societies (wait through the end credits for a clumsy PSA on that). In the 1990s some enterprising Germans decided to stage an international breakdancing competition World Cup — the award plaques actually look like Domino's Pizza boxes — in the hamlet of Braunschweib.

Planet B-Boy first assures us with quick, eye-filling visits around the globe that break-dance is not dead. Behold the incredible athleticism of the Japanese troupe Ichigeki. From the North African-colonized town of Chelles, outside Paris, hails the troupe Phase T, with a scene-stealer in the form of a precocious little white kid called Lil Kev (his politically incorrect mother, obviously a savory find for the filmmakers, proceeds to make Don Imus-type statements over anxiety at her small son mixing with big black men). South Korea is a latecomer to the b-boy scene, yet has compensated with two especially world-class crews, Last for One and Gamblerz. In 2005 they all converge on Braunschweig in a spirit of high-energy competition and fellowship. Well, maybe not quite total fellowship. An American team member, sensing the hostility, complains he feels like he's accused of personally electing Bush.

The dazzling dance-offs (and a terrific remix-heavy soundtrack) are reason enough for this documentary to exist, but a recurring theme in Planet B-Boy nonetheless emerges, the one summed up by those hip-hop immortals DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince in their hit "Parents Just Don't Understand." Around the world, the conservative older generation grapples to accept the unconventional career/lifestyle paths of their b-boy offspring, not just Lil Kev's maman but straight-laced, hardworking salarymen in Japan and South Korea, chagrinned that their sons seem so ill-suited to becoming worker drones or soldiers. The verisimilitude of the documentary format (not to mention the rapid-fire editing) let this movie get away with what would seem unbearably contrived in a scripted narrative about driven, distant Asian fathers and their misunderstood sons. Call it The B-Boy Luck Club. — Charles Cassady Jr.

Planet B-Boy: 7:20 p.m. Thursday, July 17 and 9:05 p.m. Friday, July 18 at Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque, 11141 East Blvd., 216-421-7450.

My Winnipeg

Winnipeggian fabulist Guy Maddin ran into some trouble a few years back when he attempted to graft his quirky, one-of-a-kind cinematic style onto a bigger-budgeted canvas in The Saddest Music in the World. What felt so blissfully ineffable — and ineffably strange — in early Maddin treasures like Careful teetered on the verge of self-parody, or worse. But with last year's masterful nouveau-silent Brand Upon the Brain, Maddin seemed to have recharged his creative batteries by returning to his bare-bones outsider roots. The director's latest "whatzit?" is an equally uncategorizable, similarly dazzling hybrid of documentary and Proustian (or is that Maddin-ian?) memory piece. The hypnotic, dream-like tone is set by Maddin's drolly purplish voiceover narration ("Snowy, sleeping Winnipeg ... always winter, always sleepy") which both celebrates and bashes his Manitoba hometown, sometimes for the same virtues/failings. Octogenarian Ann Savage (star of Edgar G. Ulmer's 1945 noir classic Detour) plays Maddin's mother in mock simulations of his formative years spent atop a Winnipeg beauty parlor. Is the "Winnipeg" of My Winnipeg truly real or merely a figment of Maddin's overheated, if vastly amusing imagination? Who cares when the results are as laugh-out-loud funny and moving as they are here? — MP

Opens Friday at the Cedar Lee Theater, 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 440-564-2034, clevelandcinemas.com.

Tuya's Marriage

Even with the surprise success of a certain "early-days-of-Genghis-Khan" biopic that's currently raking in the bucks on the arthouse circuit, the Mongolian Steppes still remain a fairly exotic locale for US moviegoers. That Wang Quan An's Tuya's Marriage seems so familiar despite its Inner Mongolian location has less to do with setting than genre. It's easy to picture this same story as the basis for an early '50s Anthony Mann Western. Tuya (the formidable Yu Nan) lives with her crippled husband Bater and two small children in an isolated rural community whose primary source of income derives from sheep herding. Because she's still attractive and of "marriageable" age, everyone tries convincing Tuya that she should divorce Bater and find herself another husband who might better provide for her and the kids.

Among the most zealous advocates for Tuya finding a new mate are Bater and his widowed sister Zhaya. After badly injuring herself trying to help free a man from an overturned truck, Tuya reluctantly decides to pursue her options. The catch is that husband number two must agree to take care of Bater and the children. With the simplicity of a fable, Tuya's Marriage plays out as you would expect. There isn't much more to the plot, which is part of the film's charm as well as its limitations. Tuya, Bater, Zhaya and Baolier, a childhood classmate of Tuya who becomes her most likely marriage prospect after striking it rich, remain archetypes unburdened by psychology or nuance. The Freudian symbolism may have been comically broad in films like Mann's The Furies or King Vidor's Duel in the Sun, but at least we knew what made those characters tick. — MP

Tuya's Marriage: 7:15 p.m. Saturday, July 19 and 8:50 p.m. Sunday, July 20 at Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque, 11141 East Blvd., 216-421-7450.

Film: The Blind Leading The Climb - Blindsight Documents The Plight Of A Sightless Team Of Climbers

By Charles Cassady Jr.

Fault-finding Tibetan Buddhism is not a particularly popular pastime, at least not in the West these days. All those admirers of the high lamas and heroic peasants under Chinese occupation tend to overlook an especially unpleasant keystone of the culture's belief in reincarnation, that one's sins in this life will affect one's situation in the next. If you were exceptionally wicked, you're reborn disadvantaged or a lower form of life (a beggar or a freelance film critic, for instance).

Thus does Tibetan cosmology account neatly and pitilessly for birth defects and congenital illness; the sufferer deserved it (a well-known UK soccer coach and Buddhist convert got the sack by saying he agreed with this).

That local color endows the documentary feature Blindsight with significant poignancy and emotional depth, making an especially moving experience out of what would otherwise seem a contrived "inspirational" photo op. The focus is on a mountaineering expedition to one of the adjacent peaks of Everest, undertaken by a largely sightless team of mountain climbers. Recruited especially for the "Climbing Blind" ascent is Colorado's Erik Weihenmayer, a Time cover celebrity for his achievements in climbing and bouldering without benefit of vision. But the driving force is one Sabriye Tenberken, who founded a "Braille Without Borders" school in Lhasa that accepts blind Tibetan youth, otherwise scorned outcasts in their own villages and families. Even the kids are largely convinced that their handicap is righteous lifelong punishment for — something. The ascent of the Sacred Mountain is supposed to be a lesson in overcoming such limitations.

Thus, we learn the back stories of the natives, usually reduced to undifferentiated Sherpas in so many mountaineering accounts (documentaries have been generally more even-handed). Most of the blind teenagers speak English, sing Western and Asian pop tunes, and one named Tashi (Lucky) recounts an especially heartrending life of deprivation and exploitation. He's also hiding a shameful personal secret; yes, I sort of expected a revelation, like that Arrested Development sitcom subplot, that he's not blind at all, just faking for sympathy and career opportunities. Guess in my next life I'll be fortunate if I'm reborn a higher vertebrate.

Director Lucy Walker intercuts Tashi's woe skillfully with the expedition itself, which does not go quite the way you'd expect, certainly not how a Hollywood screenwriter would have plotted it out. If there's justice in the world, there will be VHS versions of Blindsight (I'd imagine navigating DVD menus might present a problem) released that are audio-described — in all languages.

Blindsight: 5:15 Thursday, July 17 and 7 p.m. Friday, July 18, at Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque, 11141 East Blvd., 216-421-7450.

Freestyle Lead: Steel Driving - How Many Bikes Does It Take To Pull A Humvee?

By Michael Gill

Bobby opened the weathered journal to its back page, the place of doodling, and showed me among the jumbled lines and stray thoughts a simple, even innocent question: How many bikes does it take to pull an SUV?

Our friend Lois was going to block off Detroit Avenue in Lakewood so people could walk around and ride their bikes without competing for their space on the pavement with the noise and the gassy expulsions and the sheer metallic hulk of all those cars. Our friend Tim was setting up his portable bike-parking rig for the day. There would be all kinds of music and other entertainment on the street. We were supposed to do something fun involving bikes. That's why Bobby had been scratching ideas on the back page of his journal.

Some questions are not meant to be asked. Some are not meant to be answered. Some questions, once posed, carve the questioner's destiny into his brain in the form of a "tenacious hankering for answers." We knew what we had to do. We called Kiley and some other friends. We set a date at Tim's house.

Pulling an SUV with bicycles is not the kind of thing you do to win arguments about the cost of gasoline or the worthiness of bicycles as a transportation option. There is no practical purpose and no reasonable excuse for the effort. It may bestow some kind of bragging rights, the kind of story grunted in between beers, or it may serve as testimony to the brawniness of a messenger's thighs, but it's not what you would call a "good" idea.

Sure, gas costs more than four dollars a gallon these days, and sure, your bicycle gives you complete freedom from bus routes and schedules and fares and gas pumps, and sure, it doesn't pump out smoke, and sure, you get your exercise without spending your hundreds of dollars at the gym. But none of those things really plays into the decision to try pulling an SUV with bicycles. Indeed, all that sounds just a little preachy, even if every word of it is true. Pulling an SUV with bicycles is a more innocent thing.

And so we all felt pretty good about pursuing the idea. Refining it, even. So to add an order of magnitude, we decided our tow job shouldn't involve just any SUV, but the granddaddy of them all, that 200-proof symbol of gluttony and arrogance, a Hummer. Or better yet — and since no Hummer would consent to be lampooned by a peloton of whack-job cyclists — why not just go ahead and get an honest-to-goodness military-issue Humvee? Forget about civilian wannabe knockoffs, and get right to the battlefield.

Once someone suggests something like that, and someone else says out loud, "Hey, I know a guy," there is no way to take it back. So we set out to practice with Tim's minivan.

When you take up a project like this, it is important that you pause and think things through. Don't just use whatever materials you may have on hand, for example, no matter how convenient. If, for example, you figure that because you have some ropes and a two-by-four in the garage, and the minivan happens to have a trailer hitch, and someone happens to have a daughter who is small and light, it might seem like you have a good start.

But in fact the effort might reveal the following: A) Nylon rope is elastic and when used for towing creates a sort of rubber-band effect, which causes the cyclists and their heavy cargo to go woooo-wheeee, wooooo-wheee, back and forth, and you never get any decent momentum; B) A two-by-four yoke attached to a central trailer hitch is prone to a teeter-totter effect, which is not good at all; and C) While a young and unlicensed teen daughter might seem the perfect "driver" because she doesn't weigh very much, her skills might not be up to steering in reverse, which might result in what the truckers refer to as a "jackknife."

I'm not saying it went that way for us. What I am saying is that after some persistence, after switching vehicles, and with some changes in the proprietary towing technology, we found that four cyclists with moderate skill were able to pull a Honda CRV with relative ease. Down the street and around the corner we went, to the confusion and delight of Tim's neighbors. But we were just warming up.

There are at least 17 different versions of the Humvee, the Army's High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle. Manufactured by AM General starting in 1984, the basic model has an 8-cylinder, 6.5-liter diesel engine. It is 15 feet long, 7 feet wide, 6 feet high and has a curb weight of 5,200 pounds without armor. To pull one of these will be a little different. The wannabe version that consumers drive, the H2, gets 10 to 13 miles per gallon. The real deal gets in the realm of four miles per gallon in the city, and eight on the highway.

Meanwhile, a typical bicycle weighs 20 to 30 pounds. According to David Gordon Wilson's 1977 book Bicycling Science, a typical person riding at 12 miles per hour produces about one-quarter horsepower, which is about enough energy to power two 100-watt light bulbs. It is not enough to break the inertia on a Humvee. Not even if it's in neutral with the brake off. Which brings us back to that question: How many bikes does it take?

Theorize with Bike Lakewood at the Celebration of Walk + Roll at 8 p.m. Friday, July 18, at the Lakewood Phoenix Café (15108 Detroit Ave.). Derica performs. Proceeds benefit Bike Lakewood.

Then find out how many bikes it takes to pull a Humvee - and take in musical and other performances - during Walk + Roll Lakewood from 4-9 p.m. Saturday, July 19. Detroit Avenue will be closed to motor vehicle traffic. Bike Lakewood provides secure, monitored bike parking.

Freestyle Calendar: You Will Believe A Dude Can Fly - Ast Dew Tour, Thursday, July 17

I'm surprised no one has thought to ask Nick Lowe to rewrite his song "I Love the Sound of Breaking Glass" as "I Love the Sound of Breaking Bones" to be the theme song for the annual AST Dew Tour, a series of skateboarding, BMX and freestyle motocross sports competition/lifestyle events held in cities across the country for the last four years. At the five events, athletes in six different, potentially bone-crushing skills earn points to become champion of their domain. The daily Outdoor Festival with its vendors, freebies, athlete autograph signings, and chances to try your hand at a rock-climbing wall, a dirt-bike track and RockBand for PlayStation, and a 9 p.m. concert tomorrow by Plain White T's provide distraction when there aren't bodies flying in the air trying to maintain contact with bike or board after spinning in the air multiple times. The AST Dew Tour Right Guard Open starts at 2 p.m. today at the North Coast Harbor and runs through 6 p.m. Sunday. And if you can't make it down, you can see highlights on NBC Sports tomorrow through Sunday. Tickets: $15 single-day, $35 four-day pass and up. Call 216.241.5555 or go to ast.com. — Anastasia Pantsios

THURSDAY, JULY 17

Coventry Street Fair

The second edition of the 2008 Coventry Street Arts Fair will offer rocking roots music from Cats on Holiday, Brittany Reilly and her Almost Acoustic Band, and the Cleveland Jazz Project, as well as the zany Something Dada sketch comedy ensemble. Along Coventry Road in Cleveland Heights, which will be closed to traffic from Mayfield Road to Euclid Heights Boulevard from 6-9 p.m., there'll be sidewalk sales, outdoor dining, poetry readings and family art activities sponsored by the Cleveland Museum of Art. It's all free. Go to coventryvillage.org for info. — AP

Historic Centrum grand (re)opening

The 88-year-old Centrum Theatre (2781 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights) has had a hard time finding its identity since ending its run as a movie theater. Parts of it currently house a Johnny Malloy's and a Geppetto's pizza shop while the upstairs theater has been used sporadically by different music, comedy and special events promoters. Now a new group is taking a stab at it. A production company called FamFest founded by actor/playwright/producer Fred Taylor has booked a weekend of entertainment as a teaser for the fall season it's planning. "It's a collaboration of directors and playwrights and dancers and others who have the same vision I have," says Taylor. "Everyone has a piece of the puzzle and if we put the pieces together, we'd have this magnificent painting." At 8 tonight and tomorrow Taylor performs his self-written and directed interactive fantasy show The Vagabond, in which a time-traveler morphs into different characters. Originally a one-man show, he'll be joined by students from the Rainey Institute Summer Youth Program. At 2 p.m. Saturday, Colombian dancer Jhoanna will offer salsa classes. And from 2-6 p.m. Sunday, the Rocking Robots, a three-man group that entertains kids with costumed, android dance moves, and modern dancer Lisa K. Locke will perform. The salsa classes are $10 each; the other performances are $15. Call 216.544.0663 for info. — AP

FRIDAY, JULY 18

Puerto Rican Parade and Latino Fest

Each year, the Julia de Burgos Cultural Arts Center steps out of its West Side digs and moves to the downtown municipal parking lot across from Burke Lakefront Airport to share its cultural offerings with the whole city at the annual Puerto Rican parade and Latino Fest which has been going on, in one form or another, for 40 years. Three days of food, vendors, performances and rides are highlighted by the parade at noon Sunday, with its festive array of musicians, dancers and pretty girls in colorful gowns. If you don't already have a Puerto Rican flag - and rest assured, a significant percent of the cars in the parking lot will be displaying them - you'll readily be able to buy one there. Call 216.961.2970 for info. — AP

Cleveland Irish Cultural Festival

Not since the Guinness Fleadh festivals of the '90s, at the height of the Irish-American awakening, have I seen a fair bring together so many great artists in one place. This year's Cleveland Irish Cultural Festival at the Berea Fairgrounds today through Sunday boasts a truly remarkable lineup, including violin prodigy Eileen Ivers, divinely gifted tenor John McDermott, supergroup Cherish the Ladies, former De Danaan vocalist Maura O'Connell, Celt rockers Seven Nations, the Young Dubliners, the Elders, trad sensation Gaelic Storm, and local favorites Mossy Moran, Brigid's Cross, Brace Your Bridget!, the New Barleycorn and the Kilroys. Somewhere Tommy Makem will be smiling. — Frank Lewis

SATURDAY, JULY 19

Nature at Night

The critics hated it, but the public embraced it, and darned if museums and nature centers across the country aren't grateful for Night at the Museum, the Ben Stiller fantasy vehicle about a bumbling museum night watchman discovering the dino bones and dioramas magically come to life at night. The flick has become a fixture of after-hours get-togethers, and an outdoor screening is part of the fun at the Cleveland Metroparks' twilight program Nature at Night. Happening in and around the North Chagrin Nature Center in Mayfield Village from 5-11 p.m., the free soiree includes nocturnal nature hikes, stargazing, campfires and storytelling, live animal presentations, refreshments and music by Blue Lunch. For info call 440.473.3370. Dick Van Dyke steals the picture, by the way. — Charles Cassady Jr.

Hudson Wine Festival

We give bonus points to animal-lovers. So kudos to Hudson's Vue restaurant (46 Village Way, downtown Hudson, 330.650.1883) which offers up its celebrated wine list for the first annual Hudson Wine Festival for the Humane Society of Greater Akron. It takes place in the parking lot behind the popular restaurant from noon-8 p.m. today and 1-6 p.m. tomorrow with wine tastings, food, cooking demonstrations, wine discussions, music and raffles. Yes, the Humane Society is bringing animals! In addition, there's a VIP event inside Vue at 6 p.m. Friday with hors d'oeuvres, wine tastings and a silent auction. The VIP event is $100; otherwise it's $20 advance, $25 at the door, which includes 10 tastings. Additional 10-taste tickets can be purchased for $5; kids and designated-driver tickets are available. Call the Humane Society at 330.657.2010. — AP

Go Bananas!

Are those bananas — or are they just glad to see you? Both, actually, at the Cleveland Botanical Garden (11030 East Blvd., 216.721.1600). Today is the opening of Go Bananas! in the Garden's Geis Terrace, transformed into a veritable banana republic for this ongoing celebration (through Sept. 7) of that yellow offshoot of the plantain, Plantago musa. Over the past century the banana has gone from an exotic tropical novelty to a supermarket staple (not to mention an indispensable denizen of any wax fruit bowl). Go Bananas! highlights the cultivation and uses of bananas throughout the world, amidst the splendor of actual banana trees, coconut and pineapple plants blooming in University Circle (always knew the global warming would be good for something). Event tie-ins include Curious George readings and, on Thursday, July 24, the annual CBG members banquet amidst the foliage. Hours: 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tuesdays-Saturdays, noon-5 p.m. Sundays, until 9 p.m. Wednesdays. Admission: $7.50; ages 3 to 12, $3. — CC

Medina Bicycle Club Ice Cream Odyssey

How far would you bicycle for an ice cream cone? One summer when I was a kid, my sister and I regularly rode 10 miles roundtrip to a Baskin-Robbins to fuel up. The Medina Bicycle Club Ice Cream Odyssey makes us look like slackers. The event consists of three rides: 62, 42 and 25 miles through the bucolic countryside and small towns of Medina and Northern Wayne counties. Participants in the two longer rides will find themselves at the Hartzler Family Dairy Ice Cream Shop outside Wooster before continuing on/returning to home base. There, they'll enjoy fresh ice cream made on the premises in such flavors as "Road Hogg," "Heifer Trails" and "Trip to the Dentist" (all tastier than they sound). Rides start at Medina County University Center (6300 Technology Lane, off Rt. 162, between Rts. 3 and 42) with registration at 8 a.m. and roll-out at 8:30. The $25 registration includes map, T-shirt, ice cream on the two longer rides and a cookout for all after finishing. It's not a contest so you can take your time. For info, call 330.421.1987. — AP

TUESDAY, JULY 22

Summit County Fair

The county fair season in Northeast Ohio kicks off today with the Summit County Fair at the fairgrounds on Rt. 91 in Tallmadge. You know the drill: lots of 4H exhibits, animals, really large vegetables, rides, little kids with big voices singing country songs, food you probably shouldn't eat every day, horsemanship displays, tractor pulls and, of course, the ever-popular demolition derbies. They're so popular in fact that they've scheduled two: at 7:30 tonight and tomorrow. You'll probably want to book your tickets in advance because these things sell out. The obligatory big-name country music concert takes place at the Arena complex on the fairgrounds at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, July 24 and features Keith Anderson, Tony Rio and Relentless; tickets are $20. Call 330.633.6200 for more info about the fair which runs through Sunday, July 27. — AP

Community Service Show

When most people get a DUI, they spend a week dishing out meals to the homeless or picking up trash on I-77 to satisfy their community service requirements. When stand-up comedians get DUIs, they turn it into a routine. At least that's what funnyman Chad Zumock did, after he got busted for drinkin' and drivin' earlier this year. The end result - Chad's "Community Service Show"- presents some of Cleveland's best comics for a night of not-so-sober laughs at the Improv (2000 Sycamore St.) at 8 tonight. Proceeds will benefit Big Brothers & Sisters of Portage County, thus fulfilling Zumock's service requirement. It's a stand-up comedy benefit that sounds like a joke but isn't, which probably makes it post-modern, or at least ironically amusing for its realism. "Big Brothers and Sisters helps kids in need of a role model," says Zumock. "Maybe if I had been in the program when I was a kid, I wouldn't need to be fulfilling a community service requirement right now." Zumock, a founding member of sketch group Last Call Cleveland, has also appeared on Spike TV and claims to be in an episode of Entourage. Other comics that Zumock has roped into performing for free that night include Mike Polk (from HBO's Man in My Box) and Ryan Dalton (who recently appeared as the Riddler on Comedy Central's Live at Gotham). Tickets $6 advance, $10 at the door. Call Big Brothers & Sisters at 330.296.6655. — James Renner