The Coffee Shop Diary

The Cilantro Between Us

2019-05-30T13:56:00.000-07:00

My life would be so much easier if I liked cilantro. Living in California, where there is an abundance of Mexican food, I’m the annoying one at the restaurant, asking the waiter, “Does it have cilantro?” Then, disappointed, “Oh, it does? Can you put it on the side?”

Everyone at the table acts shocked. “What, are you kidding? You don’t like cilantro? How can you NOT love cilantro? I LOVE cilantro!” They stare at me, stunned like I just renounced my religion or decided to relinquish my citizenship.

Never, it seems, has there been an herb that has created such a divide. It’s like the red and blue states. I don’t see people having this reaction to sage or thyme. But with cilantro, it’s either, you’re with us, or you’re against us.

So, I kept trying it. I wanted to like it. I was sure I would grow to love it. But, I didn’t. I tried it cooked, I tried it raw, I daringly added a dollop more of a little cilantro-laden salsa on my chips, I took little baby bites, and still, I couldn’t wait to get that taste out of my mouth.

If you’re like me, I’m sure that you, too, wish you could love this little contentious herb, just so that people would stop questioning you about your choice, or so that you could stop making two versions of your favorite guacamole or salsa for friends and family. I figured there had to be some kind of middle ground, at least a Switzerland type of substitution that might work for the masses.

So, I did a bit of research and found that some people recommended a few different substitutions; a few coriander seeds, a little parsley, some finely chopped poblano chilis, or a little minced green onion with a squeeze of lime. But no matter what, the cilantro lovers will definitely notice the missing ingredient, and you, the cilantro hater, will wonder why you even bothered to add anything to what might have already been a perfect dish!

And then, just when I was feeling like there must be something wrong with me, I mean seriously, how could I hate this little green delight that everyone else was touting as tasting so fresh, clean, and bright, I learned that it wasn’t my fault! They now say that people who strongly dislike cilantro are born with some genetic variant. Apparently, it lies deep inside a cluster of smell-influencing genes. There is a special protein that many of us are extremely sensitive to, and for those of us with this extra sensitivity, we dislike the smell and taste of cilantro. For those less sensitive, they will love it, like it, or possibly won’t taste it at all.

So, taking a deep breath, I think we can all relax now. Nobody is wrong or right in this battle of the herb. It looks like we need to just accept this and move on. And, like the saying, two heads are better than one, so it goes, that with cilantro, there is no debate, two recipes are better than one.

No country for old men (or women)

2019-01-24T19:38:00.000-08:00

Photo by Andreea Popa on Unsplash

I’m all about looking our best, being our best. But I’m not in favor of using extreme measures to stay in a place we no longer belong. The problem? We don’t like old people in this country. This is a *No country for old men (and even more so, women.)

Our obsession with youth and beauty could’ve all started with Hollywood, the media, and the billions of dollars put into advertising — there’s a damn lot of money to be made at the expense of making people feel bad about themselves. We’ve seen and heard it enough to believe it — as gospel. As truth. And it’s become ours.

The message has been received, loud and clear. Aging is ugly — aging is to be dreaded, aging is to be feared, and aging should be thwarted at any cost.

I know this isn’t news to any of you, but if we’re all so aware of this scam, if we’re on to these con men and women who have pulled this over on us, why do we continue to buy into it? We had to quit believing in Santa, the tooth fairy, and the Easter Bunny at some point in time, too. We’re not old dogs, we can learn new tricks — we can change our beliefs.

Do you know what the cosmetics industry brings in each year? In 2016, the U.S. was considered the most valuable beauty and personal care market in the world, generating approximately 84 billion U.S. dollars in revenue that year. This includes skin care, perfumes, cosmetics, but doesn’t include the plastic surgeries, Botox, and other procedures now offered in your friendly doctor or dermatologists office.

I’m not saying we can’t use cosmetics to enhance what we’ve got — want to wear a little lipstick, some blush, some mascara? Go for it. It’s when we feel that our naked, natural, face is unpresentable — we can’t go out without putting on “our face.” That’s not only sad, it is actually quite pathetic.(And FYI, the average age of a model that is selling us “anti-aging”skin cream is 14. We are not going to look like her, no matter how many layers of that “crap” we pile on unless we are 14.)

Besides being injected with Botox and derma fillers, we’ve been injected with copious amounts of fear — fear of being cast aside, becoming undesirable, invisible.

Fear of being alone, being ignored, being forgotten. And since our beliefs create our reality, our reality confirms that we are only desirable, valuable, worthwhile, while we are young.

We need to start loving and respecting our faces — our bodies, our lives. We can’t stop time, we can’t go back, but we can go forward, each and every day, with self-respect, wisdom, and an “I’m here, this is me, I am worthy, valuable, and important until the day I’m no longer here” attitude — whether you like my thinning eyebrows and wrinkly upper lip, or not!

*No Country for Old Men takes its name from the first line of ‘Sailing to Byzantium’ by William Butler Yeats. The poem’s central message is that in order to be happy in old age we should abandon the world’s more primal pleasures and turn to the spiritual and eternal instead.

Wabi Sabi through the Holidays

2018-10-13T21:50:00.000-07:00

Photo by Nikola Jelenkovic on Unsplash

Some people can’t wait for the holiday season — for them it truly is the most wonderful time of the year. For others it’s a time of dread and just something to get through. But in whichever camp you fall there’s no better time to put into practice the Japanese philosophy of Wabi Sabi, roughly translated as the art of acceptance and finding beauty in imperfection.

It seems during this time in particular, we demand so much of ourselves, wanting everything to be perfect, that we can’t help but set ourselves up for disappointment. And from personal experience, I have to remember that even if the chocolate soufflé falls, it will still taste just as good.

But truly, one of my best and most memorable holidays was spent years ago with a group of friends.

The woman that was hosting had unfortunately broken her back in late October but she still wanted to host, so her husband had agreed to do the cooking. When we all sat down at the table and he began to carve the turkey, it was not only raw inside but the cavity was void of any savory bread stuffing and instead was still filled with the plastic bag containing all of the turkey organs.

After his wife apologized profusely and the color returned to her skin, we all broke out laughing, that belly-aching kind of laughter that ends in tears and then we made a call for Chinese take-out.

The holiday, though not all that traditional, was nothing if not memorable. The food was good, the wine flowed, the company divine, and the store-bought pumpkin pies that our host placed right on the table in their plastic containers along with the normally looked down upon Cool Whip, was absolutely delicious.

Expectations around the holidays run high and so do emotions.

We want everything to be perfect. We want everyone happy, the food cooked to perfection, and the table setting beautiful enough to rival one in Martha Stewart Living magazine.

So what’s the solution? How can we adopt a Wabi Sabi attitude? First, recognize that the stress of the holidays affects everyone, even small children. You can’t expect everyone to be on their best behavior all of the time. Know ahead of time that this is an emotional time, filled with excitement, joy, and at times, unhappiness. Try to keep your schedule as open and flexible as possible. Go ahead and skip your weekly book club or piano lesson. This alone takes a lot of the pressure off and will give you more time and a feeling of ease throughout the holidays.

Don’t assume all of the responsibility. If we do this, not only will we not enjoy the holidays, but we will end up exhausted and depressed when guests finally come, or shortly thereafter. So this year, enlist the help of your family. Divide up the activities evenly or do them all together. Make it fun, not a chore to be done.

Another problem is that we put too much emphasis on gift giving. If you feel you must buy gifts for every relative, teacher, hairdresser, neighbor, and the mailman, you are setting yourself up for a very stressful holiday season. Try to simplify this year. Give something of yourself — something that you love to do and that you are good at. Bake cookies, make scarves, give gift certificates for pet sitting, plant–watering, childcare for an evening, or help with clutter clearing. These all make wonderful gifts. Do set a budget, make a list and be realistic about what you can afford to spend.

Of course for many people, the holidays can be a time of sadness or depression. This is unavoidable if we have lost loved ones or have memories associated with Christmas that are not favorable. But this year make a ritual of honoring those who have passed and spend a small amount of time giving in to those feelings. It’s okay. What actually causes us the most stress is that we feel we cannot feel this way. This year celebrate your ancestors. Americans usually hide them away because most of us feel so awkward about death. If you are missing friends or family, try to remember happy times and share them with others.

It’s always important that we stay healthy, but it’s especially important at this time when our bodies can easily get run down. If you have a holiday party in the evening, make sure you eat a nutritious breakfast and light lunch and limit your alcohol intake. For every cocktail or glass of wine you have, drink at least 8 oz. of water in between. You’ll thank yourself in the morning!

Treat yourself to a bath with lavender, pine, rose, or tangerine to help you relax and calm down. Do this before bedtime to help with a good night’s sleep.

Remember to BREATHE.

Deeply. Start each morning out sitting still, eyes closed, breathing. Do this for only a couple of minutes, if that is all you can spare. End each night doing the same thing.

A good Feng Shui remedy is to take an orange and cut 9 small round circles out of the peel. Citrus is known to lift our energy and help with stress and anxiety. Place them in a baggie and take along with you when you are out shopping or out in a crowd. Inhale when you are feeling tired and fatigued. This will invigorate you to keep you going a little longer! Or, you can also bathe in orange peels at the end of the day if you need to regain energy.

Most importantly, keep your sense of humor, relax, release your expectations– and enjoy the holidays!

The Emotional Side of Aging

2018-09-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

Photo by Anika Huizinga on Unsplash

Today I was driving near City College and a few young girls passed me on their morning jog. Not together. They came one after the other. It was one of the rare times that reality sort of grabs my attention, reminds me of yesteryear, and I feel a deep sense of loss as it goes sashaying by. It hit me how these young people have so much opportunity ahead of them, so many choices that they can make, so many different directions they can take. And I felt excited. For them.

But it is a melancholy day when you realize that most of your major life decisions have already been made. You have already had your chance to choose a career, the size of your family, the man/woman of your dreams, the place to call home, you’ve rounded third, you know, not much to do now but slide.

Now, this is just an observation, and nothing more.

This is not a letter of regret, confessions to my past loves, or anything of the sort. I realize that life is not over and there is still plenty to do and choices to make. But they’re just not the BIG ones. And there are times I’d welcome a do-over on the BIG ones.

I know a lot of times people look back and many of them say, “I wouldn’t change a thing” — I wonder how true this statement is. I wouldn’t have it any other way either as far as the friends I’ve made, the family that I have, and the daughter that has blessed my life like no other.

And yet, there are so many things I would’ve done differently.

If I’d only thought things through a bit more. If I would’ve known that so much depended on the decisions I would make. If I’d really taken this “life” thing seriously. Especially that old saying “life is short” or “in the end, it’s the blink of an eye.” I wonder where life would have taken me if I would’ve planned more as opposed to living the more free-spirited, “there are no mistakes” mantra. Could that even possibly be true? That there are no mistakes? If you want to feel comfortable in all of your choices, you can subscribe to that school of spiritual thought, that we really don’t have a whole lot of control over our destiny and that we are all exactly where we’re supposed to be in this very moment and all the others.

So then, this is it. Everything is exactly as it should be. Well, okay, things aren’t too bad, actually, they’re pretty good. It’s just that it would’ve been nice to have been consulted about my own divine plan.

Don't Quote Me

2018-09-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

Don’t Quote Me

Photo by Anthony Garand on Unsplash

There’s nothing like a good quote to draw you in, get you thinking and fill you with a sense of empowerment, if only momentarily. Social media has become flooded with feel-good quotes, posted and dished out to lift our spirits and make us better people.

The problem with these quotes or just about any other good intention we have is keeping them in sight. We need to tattoo them on our hearts and basically, live them. They need to have more of an impact and get more recognition than a quick “Oh, that is so true”- earning its place on a coffee mug or getting pinned on the “great quotes” board on Pinterest. We need to have them on display somewhere, on a mirror, on our forehead, written like a college kid cheat sheet in the palm of our hands, transcribed on our soul. I guess similar to prayer, cutting back on calories, and brushing our teeth, we can’t just do it once and think it will make a difference. Life requires a whole lot of repetition.

They say that we learn from our mistakes, our challenges, our sorrows.

That when things are going swimmingly we are not learning much, except I guess, how good life can be. So in reality, if we want to learn, to grow, to gain a boat load of wisdom, we should be welcoming any challenge that comes our way. In fact, sending out an open invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Trials and Tribulations, putting out the welcome mat and changing the sheets in the guest room.

I don’t know about you, but really I prefer the “life can be good” lesson plan. But it seems it doesn’t work that way, we need a well-rounded education. And some lessons you just don’t get. You have to take the class over and over again, maybe try a different school, a different professor, and even then there is no guarantee you will pass.

Quoting lyrics from Kenny Loggins —

“Some lessons are forever
Never need to change
Write and the word is written
Then we turn the page

But some lessons take forever
Time and time again
Caught in a battle that you can’t surrender
And can never win”

Finding your tribe

2018-08-08T09:54:00.001-07:00

-sometimes you have to go back before you can move ahead-

Photo by Anita Jankovic on Unsplash

It seems there is always a silent battle going on within ourselves and as long as that battle continues we will never be able to live a gratifying and fulfilling life.

When we feel that parts of us are unworthy, or less than, we self-sabotage and keep ourselves stuck. We deny ourselves the best life has to offer. How did we ever get to feeling and thinking this way?

Somewhere along the line we were told or it was implied that we weren’t “good enough.” That we had shortcomings. That other people were more deserving than we were. And it was either said to us over and over again, or once we heard it we said it to ourselves over and over again to the point that we believed it.

But how can we change this?

We can start by going back. We need to go back and deconstruct the negative thought pattern that seeped into our subconscious so that we can quit believing these untruths.

This takes work. You can’t just tell yourself, “I’m perfect as is” and truly believe it. You have to hear it over and over until you really get it. Just like we’ve told ourselves the negatives all these years.

One of the most important and life-changing things we can do is to surround ourselves with positive, inspirational, and uplifting people, people who believe in us.

Rid yourself of any negative, toxic, energy vampires that you might currently have in your life. Not so easy you say? Maybe they are family or co-workers? Well then just start by bringing in more positive people into your circle. Eventually their energy will crowd out the others.

If you don’t have those kinds of wonderful people in your life, find the support you need — even if only on FACEBOOK — yes, I can’t believe I said that. But if you follow people like, Begin with Yes, The Purpose Fairy, and Wabi Sabi Women :) you will find your tribe, you will find support!

I was up in Portland visiting my daughter and started talking with a woman who had moved there 4 years ago from California. As I looked out the window at the gray, rainy day, I asked her if she liked it there. “Love it,” she answered. I asked her what she loved about Portland — and she thought about it for a minute and then said, “I found my tribe” — the people she needed to surround her and support her, and truly make her feel loved and valuable. We all need a support team.

To Be Fearless

2018-07-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

I’ve always been fearful - afraid of the dark, of showering when no one’s home, of Halloween. I was even afraid to do a cartwheel when I was a young girl - ride on a horse, or roller skate - I never felt safe if my feet weren’t touching the ground.

When I watch the young skateboarders or extreme sport athletes I envy their bravery - their courage, their willingness to take a chance, to get hurt, to want something so badly that they are willing to endure whatever the consequences. But no, that was never me.

Photo by Mario Azzi on Unsplash

And fear can be a good thing. It is what can keep us safe - it can be a beacon - a light to follow when our intuition tells us something isn’t right. It’s hard to know the difference sometimes between real fear, when your life might be in danger, or imagined fear, the kind that prevents you from trying things, or going for it, just because you think you might get hurt. And that type of hurt is usually just an ego bruise.

I must say I have been brave with my heart, though - to a fault. Gave it away rather quickly at times and trusted that whatever would come my way I could handle. Some I handled better than others because broken hearts, like glass, break differently - depending on where they fall, what they hit, and what force was inflicted upon them. I have heard that the shards from a shattered heart can kill you, and I don’t doubt that. The cracks you can fill and breaks you can try to glue back together but it never again fits perfectly. There are always little slivers missing.

But anyway, I didn’t mean to go off on the Brave Heart thing - what I want now is to be more fearless in all areas of life, I want to try, take more risks, take chances, throw the dice occasionally - trusting that everything I need will find it’s way to me - through the breaks, the falls, the cracks, and the fear, and I will end up ok, no regrets and at least a bit more fulfilled.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a piece on fear that forever changed my life - I think of her and her words now whenever I hear that voice inside my head that says “don’t do it, you’re not good enough, or strong enough, or smart enough, or something along those lines, and it goes something like this - "You're (meaning, Fear) allowed to have a seat, and you're allowed to have a voice. But you are not allowed to have a vote. You're not allowed to touch the road maps, or suggest detours. You're not allowed to fiddle with the temperature. Dude, you're not even allowed to touch the radio. But above all else, you are absolutely forbidden to drive."

The Numbers Game

2018-07-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

As far as numbers go, when it comes to our age there are only so many “good ones” according to society, and society has dictated that they are all in the first quarter of our life!!! Imagine that. The only ages that are made out to be exciting are 13, 16, 21, and maybe 25 so you can lower your insurance premiums if you’re a guy. And then? It’s all downhill from there.

So what do those numbers really signify? I guess it would be a type of freedom- considered a grown up, to be taken seriously, to be valued, to be considered old enough to get behind the wheel of a car, to drink alcohol, or to have a few years of experience under your belt.

So now that we are older (with lots of experience) we should view each year with just as much excitement and anticipation of opportunity than ever before. We have acquired all the freedom we need, and we acquired it long ago. Nothing to stand in our way.

But it is such a double-edged sword - we feel blessed that we get to live a long life and yet cursed that we are getting older. Something has to give here and I believe it’s our old attitude that insists we identify with a number. From our Driver’s license (and the usually hideous picture that does along with it) every application or health form we fill out, to the candles on the birthday cake-we are constantly being reminded of that benchmark - it is all about identifying us with a number.

We’ve been conditioned to believe we should look, feel, and act according to the number on our birth certificate. Imagine for a minute if you didn’t know how many years you’ve been on the planet, you have no idea. Would that maybe change the way you think about your life today or the things you want to do tomorrow? Do you think some roadblocks would be lifted? I do.

But of course I am very well aware of my age, as I am my changing face, body, and attitude, but what I don’t know for a fact is how long I will be here on the planet. So age is actually irrelevant. It really only matters if you know the end date. That’s when you truly know how “old” you are.

Visit me at www.wabisabiwomen.com

Finding our way to Happy

2016-06-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

Don’t worry; be happy. Sounds simple, right? But happiness has been eluding mankind since the beginning of time, or at least since the Declaration of Independence proclaimed that we had the right to pursue it! And so, like an old-fashioned Easter egg hunt, we all scurried off to find it. And no matter how many eggs we found, there was always someone who found that extra egg, the golden egg, or the one filled with chocolate or money. And then, suddenly, all of our pretty pastel eggs just seemed to dim in comparison.

It seems that we may have the word happy confused with the word perfect. For many of us, it seems that in order to be happy, things must be in perfect order. We must have the perfect relationship, the perfect house and the perfect career. But this is where the road to happiness can cause our vehicle to break down, when it collides with perfection and expectation, the mortal enemies of happy.

The main principal of the Chinese I-Ching is that everything changes. This is the natural and universal law. Our moods and emotional state are not exempt from this law. When you study the Yin/Yang principal and their energetic polarities, you learn that everything has an opposite, that you can’t have the light without the dark, soft without the hard, and you definitely can’t have the happy without the occasional sad. Resisting change and trying desperately to stay the same is what causes us pain, discomfort and unhappiness. Learning to flow and adapt to what is before us in the moment is how we come to arrive at a place of peace, a place of happiness. So is it really happiness that we should be in pursuit of or the state of contentment, satisfaction and peace?

They say that true happiness lies within, at the very core of our being. But for many of us, we don’t know how to begin this journey and feel we need a roadmap to find our treasure. And we’ve all seen the map. It consists of things like meditation, exercise, bubble baths, golden puppies and happy children. But like happiness itself, this road map needs to be customized.

Just as important as the food we put into our mouths, is the food we feed ourselves in the form of healthy relationships, our career or path in life, physical activity, our connection to nature and a spiritual practice. Knowing the path you are meant to be on, which is simply finding your passion, being true to yourself, and trying to put into practice the suggestions below, for me, is definitely the path that can lead to happiness (or contentment):

Let go of expectations. This is a difficult one, because we all usually have some intended outcome that we want to see happen. But try not to get stuck on any one particular outcome. Be open to what comes your way.

Trust. In the universe or trust in your God. Trust that life was given to you to live, fully.

Gratitude. Look at your life in smaller segments. Everything might not be going great in every life area, but if you break it down, you will find there are lots of things to be grateful for. When we are grateful, when we consider life itself to be a blessing, we can’t help but feel happy.

Be Present. On too many occasions, we wait for the right time and the right circumstances. We fall into the “as soon as I” syndrome. When I think of how much time and enjoyment I have wasted while waiting for things to be “right,” it’s almost a sin

Know that this too, shall pass. Nothing lasts forever. Unfortunately, not the good, and luckily, not the bad

Forgiveness. Anger and resentment only hurt the person bearing this poison. They do not harm the object of our anger. Give yourself a gift and let it go.

Passion. Find something you love to do, and, as Nike says, just do it. Even if you only take baby steps, just take that first step. If you feel there is nothing that truly interests you, reach back in your memory bank. As a child, what did you love to do? There is always some connection between the interests that we had as a child and what we would be passionate about doing as adults.

Acceptance. Explore the subject of Wabi-Sabi, the Japanese philosophy that finds beauty and acceptance in all things imperfect, impermanent and incomplete. Once we can accept that life is full of imperfections and that they too are beautiful and of no less value, we can relax our grip on the reins of perfection, expectations and outcomes. When we accept that change is inevitable, that this is the way, the law of nature, then life becomes easier. We can then get in and flow with the current instead of always struggling to swim upstream.

Some Idle Wednesday

2016-02-09T20:41:00.000-08:00

"Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday."

True, Mary Schmich, true. Those are lines taken from her hypothetical commencement speech, Wear Sunscreen, that was published in the Chicago Tribune in June, 1997.

It wasn't a Tuesday, but close. It was Wednesday. The chest x-ray showed a large mass in his chest. I watched as his face whitened and disappeared into some underground foxhole, as the doctor calmly explained the different types of cancer it might be, the different treatments that might be applied, and explaining that now he needed to go get additional ultrasounds, blood work and CT guided biopsies. I was trying to be his ears and eyes, because I knew this was skimming his surface. But I couldn't hear all that was being said very well either. There was a loud pounding sound making it hard to hear. I think it was both of our hearts.

Blindsided - yes and no. You know these things are coming. One day. Or another. You know it happens every day to so many people. Just not you. Or the people you love. And all of a sudden, life as you know it, is no longer anything that you've ever known. All the plans you've had get shaken out in front of you, like that party game, Total Recall, trying to remember what all was there. You frantically grab for maybe a couple of the really important pieces, because now you just know, there might not be time to get to it all. To make the plans a reality. Afraid to go forward, to see what might be up ahead, you start working backwards. In little baby steps. Looking and stepping back on wasted years, wasted relationships, wasted careers, wasted time. And it's hard not to go there, but you do know that this negative thinking will get you nowhere! Right? Yes, yes, refocus, pull it all in. Gather your courage. Soldier on. I'm mean, really, it's just life, right? Those words ring loudly now in my head. How many times have I heard that? How many times have I said that? It's just life. Like it's no big deal. But oh my, it is such a big deal.

Life - I read that without an end, life really wouldn't have any meaning. that if our lives went on forever our choices would be without ramifications, utterly without meaning; life without death would be meaningless.

So I lie next to him, in his restless sleep, and I close my eyes, clasp my hands together and go to that place where I go when there's nowhere else to go - sending out my thoughts, concerns and requests to hopefully, a God that is listening. And as I send my wimpy, apologetic airmail to the heavens, "Yes, I know, I only come here when I'm desperate, I'm sorry. But what am I supposed to think? Why would you grant me any favors? One out of three deal with this, and with all the mountains of suffering in the world, why would I be special?" I'm not. But I will try anyway to use all of my bargaining powers, this for that. A fair trade.

Then once I am sure he is in a deep sleep, I quietly sob. I know sobbing is usually a noisy affair, but I do it very quietly, under the covers, holding it in, while my body does a few convulsions rivaling that of some Russian contortionist. And then I compose myself, give God the benefit of the doubt, and hope that I might have caught him in a moment of weakness.

Black Hole Friday

2014-11-18T15:22:00.000-08:00

I'll offer my apologies right up front, because I'm sure I'm going to offend many of you. I have always disliked Black Friday and all that it stands for. What really bothers me is that, what has become more important that the holiday itself, spending time with family and friends, or the tradition of being thankful and showing gratitude for what we already have, has become the countdown to more mindless and gluttonous consumerism. We can fill up those carts at Wal-Mart, Toys”R”us and every other major department store faster than we can fill up our plates at Thanksgiving dinner.

Just makes me all warm and patriotic inside, you?

Black Friday, like every other marketing scheme, is really just that; a scheme, a ploy (and most of these items that you will risk your life for can be had at an earlier date or right after, I mean after all, these people are out to make a sale) It's a sad day when our insatiable appetites are filled by spending, and adding to our already obese supply of material possessions. These newly acquired possessions fill our holes only momentarily ~ then soon evaporate, needing a quick refill. In this article read how less can make you much happier than more.

I know many of you love it. You can’t wait to get out there in the rush and excitement of the season - the hunter/gatherer syndrome. But it’s really time to slow down, examine our lifestyles and the hows and whys of our buying into the material world madness. I just hope that before you run off at 4 or 5 pm on Thanksgiving Day to your nearest Wal-Mart, you might take a moment to rethink it. You might be saving a few dollars but you are feeding the beast and sacrificing the really important possessions, time, peace of mind, connecting with self, family or friends.

If I could wish anything for you, I wish you would slow down, find satisfaction and comfort with less things, and more satisfaction and joy by sharing your time with people you love, cooking together, telling stories, laughing, having a glass of wine and just being ~ just being. Together. No price tags.

Dear Sir, I write to you today concerning a large sum of money

2014-11-08T20:25:00.000-08:00

Stress is one of the biggest factors when it comes to the state of our health. As I've said before, you can eat the healthiest diet, exercise regularly, but if your mind and body are being assaulted by stress, it is pretty much a guarantee that your health will be compromised.

In today's world with all of the gadgets, inventions and technology that we have, designed to make our lives easier, it sure can cause us to "lose it" when it isn't working properly. Like, for example, when your wifi goes down and you can't get online, or the garbage disposal backs up on Thanksgiving after the big meal, or heaven forbid, the cable TV goes down and the latest episode of House of Cards is about to start, and instead you spend hours on the phone with some customer service rep in another country.

But one of the things that can wreak havoc on our lives, and can be more than just a mere nuisance, is Spam. It can turn your life upside down. And while it seems many of us are getting rather Spam savvy, a lot of us are still confused and scared by what shows up in our inbox.

Spam is coming at us from all directions, our emails, on Craigslist, on home rental sites, just about everywhere. It seems that the Spammers can't really be monitored so the only solution I see is to educate ourselves.

So, first and foremost, when you get ANYTHING from institutions like your bank, the IRS, credit card company, or PayPal via email stating that they need account info from you, or any other Urgent message, disregard it. If you look closely at any of these emails, something will be off. Like their spelling. Or punctuation. If there is truly an account problem you will receive a phone call. And, if you think that possibly the email is valid, do not respond, but instead you should call whatever company is emailing you directly. And not to the number on the email, if there is one, but to the correct number that you have in your records or that you can locate legitimately.

I mean seriously, are you kidding me? I keep getting this email from, what they would like me to believe, is PayPal. I love the use of the word "here" in the body of this email. But many people won't even see that ~ and they will panic and respond immediately to the Update Your Info button.

Your Account Will Be Limited.

Dear customer,

Your Account Will Be Limited , Until We Here From You . To Update Your Info . Simply click on the web address below (or copy and paste the link into your browser):



	Update Your Info

So what I am asking all of you, is to look closely when you receive these types of things and share this information with others you know, especially older people who aren't quite as tech savvy and have a strong sense of "doing the right thing" ~ they are extremely vulnerable and the Spammers know it. Heaven knows, we don't need this kind of bulls*#t causing us any more stress in an already stressful world.

Sometimes it's okay to be a control freak ~

2014-09-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

Recently I posted about dangerous toxins and how they have invaded every part of our lives. Whether it is the toxins in food, household items, self-care products or even toxic people (we call them energy vampires, I believe) we need to find a way to rid ourselves of them.

Did you know there are thousands of ingredients that the FDA has approved for use, but no one has studied in over 3 decades, or for that matter, some not at all? And little to no studies have been done on the cumulative effect of all these industrial food-scientist-created ingredients in our food system.

Many of these ingredients are created by substances contaminated with carcinogens, some make us addicted to non-food substances that are cheaper to produce than real food, and some are downright dangerous.

If you feel overwhelmed and are tired of all the conflicting reports and information out there, making you want to throw your hands up in the air, I have one suggestion. And it's simple. It will reduce your exposure to these toxic substances, at least in your food, and it's called, cook at home.

“The most important thing you can do with your health is cook. Cooking is more powerful than any medication.” ~ Michael Pollan

But the key here is that you cook using whole foods, meaning food that is not processed, not from a box, and with ingredients you can pronounce and know what they are. Eat at least 15 meals a week at home using ingredients you buy (so you are in control of what you are consuming) and cook yourself. Make it fun and involve other family members. It is a great gift to teach your children to cook.

That's 5 breakfasts, 5 lunches and 5 dinners. And these can be simple meals, you don't have to get all fancy with it. That leaves you 6 meals a week where you can be flexible to eat wherever you choose, dinner at a friends, have a night of take-out, or at a restaurant.

Cooking at home is beneficial in so many ways; you save money, more time with family, you can flex your creativity, and of course, you know exactly what is being consumed by your body. You control the amount of salt, sugar, and fat you use, as well as being in charge of portion control. Another extremely important benefit that you will get from cooking at home is that you will nourish and ground your relationships, creating a loving and healthy environment for those around you.

Do you take sugar in your coffee? 1 teaspoon or 2?

2014-09-15T22:07:00.000-07:00

I remember when I moved up to Olympia, Washington in 1987. There was this incredible and edgy new Coffee Roaster in town, Batdorf and Bronson. This was well before Starbucks became the rage and was situated on every street corner in America.

On my first visit I sat down at the counter and ordered some crazy (at the time) concoction. I think they called it an iced cappuccino, but really, it was anything but that. It came in a large glass, poured so that the espresso and 1/2 and 1/2 separated, creating these wonderful layers, almost too pretty to stir. It was one of the most delicious things I had ever tasted. It was like drinking an adult milkshake, without the guilt. I mean, come on, it was coffee.

Now, loving coffee like I do, I really appreciate the idea behind the coffee house. The gathering place where friends meet and conversation is cultivated. And for many years, it felt that way to me. It was a place geared towards adult and the adult beverage. But slowly it changed. Everything about it changed.

Starbucks and the other large chains became the place to bring your kids. It became the Ronald McDonald playland for the hip young moms and the grandmother's with their little grandchildren in tow. A place where they could get their "coffee" and buy the kids a little something as well. What's the problem with that, you might ask? Well, for starters, what we are now calling "coffee" is really just a major sugar high in disguise. Actually, it's not even in disguise, and it's not coffee. It's in a cup called a "Grande"~ it is filled with caramel, vanilla or chocolate syrups and topped with whipped cream and another helping of caramel, or . . . yes, yes, I know, everyone loves them. And what's wrong with giving our kids a little treat?

Only about 15 tsps of sugar!

But they are not a special treat anymore, not a once in awhile delight. They have become a part of our daily lives. They say most people now average spending $90 a month on "coffee" ~ the drinks we buy outside the home. And the cost is much larger than the dollar amount we are spending.

Now I must admit, years ago, during the winter, I got into the habit of getting a Starbucks "tall, non-fat, 2-pump mocha" on my way to work, at least 4 times a week. Later in the summer, I would treat myself to a Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf Vanilla Blended. A small one. Oh, how much I loved them! I haven't had one in a long time and the other day I felt I wanted to treat myself. It was the first time I ever asked the barista how much sugar the small Vanilla Blended contained. He didn't know, so he went to look it up. He came back over and said "not too bad, it has about 44 grams of sugar." 44 grams! That comes out to about 10 teaspoons of sugar in that one small drink! I ordered an iced coffee instead.

What we have started here is an awful habit and for some, addiction, in our young people. I see teens with these monstrous sugary "coffee" drinks and I can now see that it's no wonder we have such an obesity and early childhood diabetes problem in this country, and spreading quickly to many more I might add. We have got to get our sugar addiction under control, as consuming sugar only leads us to craving it more and more. (And just an FYI ~ Starbucks Grande Caramel Frappaccino comes in at a whopping 59 grams of sugar.)

I was really sad to learn about the sugar content in my favorite Iced Vanilla Blended. One more item on my "never to do" list. I don't see it though as deprivation, but more, a new found appreciation and dedication to my health. There are other ways to treat your taste buds and get that warm and cozy feeling without harming yourself in the process.You can recreate many of your favorites. For example, when this fall, Starbucks re-introduces their crowd pleasing, Pumpkin Spice latte, do yourself and the ones you love a favor, and make a healthier version of it at home.

My Elimination "Diet"

2014-09-03T22:01:00.000-07:00

Detoxing has become the new black as far as health and diet activists are concerned. It is something we do when we want to give our bodies a breather. But why detox, you ask, is it really necessary? Since we live in a time with more toxins in our environment than ever, many say an occasional detox is a good idea. Whether you do a simple juice/water fast for a few days, a brief cleanse or an extended, restrictive food detox, they can be quite beneficial.

And toxins enter our bodies through much more than just the foods we eat. We also receive toxins regularly through the cleaning supplies, laundry detergents, lotions, deodorants perfumes, hair coloring and makeup that we use on a regular basis. It would be best if we could minimize the use of these chemical based items and substitute natural and chemical free products where we can.

But I believe that what is just as important and necessary for many of us is a media detox for our mind, spirit and soul. One thing that has happened in the past 20 years or so is that we have become overloaded with activity with very little time left for rest, rejuvenation and relaxation. We are on call 24/7 and most of us are not ER doctors, nurses, or first responders. We have programmed our phones to let us know when we receive an email, a Facebook post, or a text message and these alerts come through at all hours of the day and night. For some reason, we feel that if we don’t find out immediately what is going on, we might be missing out on something. The truth is, most of this information is far from an emergency that needs our immediate attention, and more than likely doesn’t require our attention at all. We are overfeeding ourselves ~ too much news, too much information, and it has created an overload that is clogging up our mind and starving our spirit.

I realize in this high-tech day and age, it is hard to let go of something that seems so vital to our existence. But if you really look at things, do you need to be on Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook and every other social media site out there? It is exhausting to say the least. And what are the true benefits? You might want to ask yourself this question. What would benefit you more; adding another post or link on your Twitter account or using that time to do something like, read a book, spend time with a friend, relax in a chair and watch the clouds go by?

I have had to pull in the reins on my own social networking. I was told it was necessary to be involved in all of these if I was to become successful in my business. But after attempting it for only a short time I found that what I was doing wasn’t authentic ~ it wasn’t my true voice or serving my soul purpose. I was so busy trying to figure out what to tweet on Twitter, which hashtags to use on Instagram and finding recipes to share on my website, that I was falling behind on the things that really matter to me. So I eliminated what I could and settled on just a couple of the things that I like to do best; my blog, my business Facebook page, and spreading my message the good old fashioned way, by talking, by word of mouth.

If you are feeling what I am feeling, a bit overwhelmed, then my suggestion is to try a media detox for a short period of time. I can hear you screaming “Nooo” right about now. I realize it is asking a lot. But if you can, take some baby steps here, and at least set some boundaries for yourself where you are “off limits” to the rest of the world ~ establish periods of time that you are available for work calls, phone calls, returning emails and the like. Try to spend the first hour or so of your morning without turning on your computer or the morning news. Set a time in the evening where you turn it all off and don’t recheck it again until morning. Stick to it for a little while and I have a feeling you might just end up sticking with it.

Sleeping our way to the top ~

2014-08-19T22:55:00.000-07:00

It seems that sleep is a rare commodity for many ~ most of us are sleep deprived, myself included. Though I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, I don’t stay asleep for long. I wake several times a night. The reasons are always different, whether it is the train that goes by at all hours during the night and early morning, or the fights I have with the covers on my bed, or the one too many cups of tea that I have in the evening, it doesn’t matter the cause, the symptom is always the same. Not enough sleep.

Now, for some strange reason, for many of us in this society, we don’t like to admit to sleeping. We boast about our sleepless nights and how little sleep we need to survive on. Or the fact that we were up at 4:00 am working on our latest blog, or having closed the deal with clients on the east coast before most of us here in the west have even had our first cup of coffee. We wear this lack of sleep like a badge of honor. Like we are some kind of superhero.

It's as if we fear that by admitting to, or actually sleeping an 8 hour night, we might appear weak or unproductive. You know, the phone rings, it wakes you. You answer with an obviously sleepy Brenda Vaccaro kind of “Hello?” The person on the other end, “Oh I’m sorry, did I wake you?” And for some reason, even if we are in a dead sleep, we say “Oh no, I’m awake, I’ve been up for a while.” It’s like there is something embarrassing about being asleep. We don’t want anyone to think that we either went to bed too early or that we are sleeping in too late. A dead giveaway of a slacker, and heaven forbid we don’t want anyone to think of us as a slacker.

Why do we confuse and sometimes associate sleep with laziness? I know highly successful people who take daily naps, power naps, as they are sometimes called. There are cultures that take an entire 3 hour “lunch” break during the work week to catch up on perhaps, a nap or quick snooze. It seems that if we want to be successful in whatever we do in life, we need to get our share of sleep. Sleep is what keeps us focused, fit and fueled.

There are so many health benefits to getting adequate sleep. It is when we sleep that our bodies heal and repair themselves. Sleep can help to keep our heart healthy, reduce stress, improve our memory and help to control our body weight. So now that we know that, why don't we all just try to get a little more sleep.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nncY-MA1Iu8

Every time I watch the fruit turn rotten ~

2014-08-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I was watching Deepak Chopra being interviewed on TV and he was asked, "What is the one thing you would recommend to people that could improve their health and overall well being?” His response was, "meditate." He didn't say quit smoking, quit drinking or quit overeating, though as obvious as that advice would've been, I still expected something along those lines. So it actually came as a surprise when the number one piece of advice above all else that he gave was to meditate. Even if only 5 minutes a day. Now I believe that we all have five minutes, somewhere in our day. I usually take at least 15 or so just to stare off at nothing first thing in the morning, death grip on my coffee cup, as if my life depended on it, and some mornings, it probably does.

But then the next morning as I was scurrying around the living room getting ready for work with Good Morning America on in the background, I saw Ted Williams, the homeless man with the "golden voice” turned overnight celebrity, being interviewed. I really didn't catch that much except to notice how cleaned up he looked from the photo they had plastered of him days before all over the Internet. Shaking my cynical head, figuring if he didn't get the book deal he would at least qualify to be one of the next "celebrities" chosen to be on Dancing with the Stars. Yes, right there along side Bristol Palin and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino. Only in America, as they say. But a positive thought also came to my mind, which was, "amazing - I'm happy for him. What a difference a day makes." I heard him talking with his radio voice about his drug and alcohol addictions and then he said something that caught my attention. He made some mention of being told at one time to "meditate before medicate" -

That stopped me in my tracks. Especially since I had been suffering with a two-day migraine and I believe a pinched nerve in my lower back. I meditated daily from the beginning of my Feng Shui training in the late 1990’s until a few years ago, when for some unknown reason, I started slacking. To hear about meditating twice within a 12-hour period, and especially from an unsuspecting source, was sign enough for me. More like a loud shout from above in surround sound to get back on the program.

The benefits of meditation have been researched, studied and touted by many and just like everything else that is good for me, I tend to jump on the bandwagon for a short while and then secretly jump off when I think no one is looking. Hence, the treasure chest of vitamins in my cabinet, the bottle of Bragg's unfiltered apple cider vinegar that I vow to drink each morning, the walks I intend to take daily, the green botanical print yoga mat shoved in the far end of the closet, and the crisper full of brightly colored vegetables full of vitamins A, C and K, that always seem to collapse and wilt before I get a chance to eat them. And just like one of the lyrics in a song by Dan Fogelberg, "every time I watch the fruit turn rotten, I tell myself I'll try a little harder next time."

But meditating should be easy, right? We don't have to get showered, don't have to get dressed, don't have to swallow a vitamin capsule the size of a gherkin pickle that has that horrible fish oil aftertaste, don't have to exert any muscles. We just get to sit there, totally silent, relaxing, breathing, getting empty. We don't need any special training or any special equipment. It is free. Why then the resistance? We are worth the investment. We are worthy of good health and well being.

So, if any of this sounds familiar to you and you want to get back into (or for some, just start) taking time for self-care, here is a simple meditation from Deepak Chopra that is a very pure and calming meditation. There are so many ways to meditate, from focusing on the breath to saying a certain mantra, but after doing this one I felt very peaceful and knew that I wanted to do it again and thought you might want to try it too. Start with 5 minutes each morning, maybe even 10-15 minutes, and who knows, you might get it up to 20 minutes a day in no time.

From Deepak Chopra -

1. Put your feet firmly on the ground so that they do not cross. (sitting in a chair or on the sofa)

2. Put your hands on your lap with your palms facing up.

3. Close your eyes and pay attention to your heart.

4. Experience gratitude by thinking of blessings and counting your blessings. Be grateful for everything good in your life. Let your ego move out of the way.

5. Recall an experience of love with someone you love or someone who loves you.

6. Keep your attention on your heart and ask yourself a few questions like the following: Who Am I? Do not try to figure out the answer, just let your heart answer and guide you. What do I want? What is my purpose? What makes me happy?

7. Observe all of the sensations in your body. This step is all about simple awareness of your body. Bring awareness into your breath and breathe air in through your nostrils. Observe as the air moves in and out.

8. Keep your eyes closed and keep your attention on your heart. Focus on sensing your heart beat as either a sound or a sensation.

9. Move your awareness into your open hands and fingertips. See if you can sense your heartbeat in your fingertips as a warm, tingling sensation or mild throbbing.

10. Bring awareness back to your heart and relax you body. Yawn, move, or stretch if you want. Take half a minute and gently open your eyes.

"Reel" Food

2014-07-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

I just returned late last night from a four day fishing trip in Alaska. This is an annual trip that my brother treats our family to, a rugged Deadliest Catch kind of bonding. After 13 years of making this trip, and at the end of each one swearing I will never do it again, I find myself packing up my dramamine, wool beanie and thermal underwear for the next annual adventure.

I’m not sure what it is about this trip. It’s definitely not the getting up at 4:30 am, being out in a boat on the ocean in windy and rainy conditions, or being so exhausted at the end of the trip that I need a couple more days just to recover. But when it is over there is a feeling of accomplishment, the slaying of the dragon, and our bond becomes a little tighter with each war (fish) story we share and the many laughs that accompany them.

A surprisingly and wonderful sunny, calm moment ~

These trips are about much more than fishing. They are what we call primary food. Primary food is the way we feed our souls, the way we feed our relationships, our careers, our joy, our need for connection. And speaking of connection, it is so obvious to me when I am on this trip, away from my computer, my cellphone, emails and Facebook, that this is what true connection means. Face to face, together in the trenches. Those trenches can be true "down in the dirt" or shopping together in the designer jean aisle at Neiman Marcus. Doesn’t matter. The fact is we are together, in the flesh, sharing our time, sharing the experience.

For me, one of the hardest parts of coming back home after those four beautifully challenging days is that I have to turn the computer back on. Panning through the numerous emails to find that my delete button is showing it's wear and that the only messages that really matter are a mere handful. Looking through all the Facebook posts that have accumulated during my downtime, only to find that, truthfully, I could have lived the rest of my life without knowing the majority of what is going on in the lives of most of these people.

Social media and all the rest is a part of the way we live now and it is not going away. And, I am very aware of the advantages, especially when it comes to business. But it is extremely important to remember that when it comes to true relationships and friendships, social media should be treated more like a garnish. The real meal by which we are nourished comes from relationships that are shared and nurtured when we are together. We are filled up when we share real experiences, a good belly laugh, stories, and conversation.

It is important to feed your relationships, your friendships, with true connection. If you can give your time, give it ~ in the form of a visit, an outing or a phone call. And while you might “like” their photos and status updates on Facebook, make sure you are giving them the true attention they deserve. Hearing someone you care about laugh can go a whole lot further than an emoticon when it comes to lifting our spirit and healing our soul.

Massage ~ getting rubbed the right way

2014-07-21T07:30:00.000-07:00

You might be delighted to hear that massage, once thought of as a "luxury item" or something you received an occasional gift certificate for on your birthday, really needs to be part of your regular health regime.

Not only does massage feel incredibly good, works those aching muscles and gets your blood circulating, we now know that it does a great job reducing that stress hormone cortisol from continuing to run on high. That stress hormone, Cortisol, is released in response to fear or stress by the adrenal glands as part of the fight-or-flight mechanism. Like when you come home and see your teenage daughter wearing a much too short mini-skirt, or the repo man with your car in tow, you know, things like that.

But it seems that in our fast paced world and stressful lives our cortisol doesn't know when to kick off. It stays running. And it can go up and down, to extremes. Like an air conditioner you forgot to turn off at night and wake up to a freezing morning. It is a waste of energy.

Cortisol also increases blood sugar when you're feeling stressed and that excess glucose becomes stored as fat once the stressful event is over. Cortisol has been blamed for abdominal fat, as you've seen on so many ads that have been running lately.

Studies have shown that deep-tissue massage lowered cortisol and raised oxytocin, the hormone of alleviation and bonding. The studies also showed that massage improved immune function, slows the heart rate and lowers blood pressure.

So while I realize that not all of us can afford a weekly massage, we can probably recruit a family member or partner to do an exchange with us. Some kind of barter system. Get creative. But it seems that touch, and in this case, massage, is vitally important for so many reasons. I mean, what a wonderful way to reduce stress, build your immune system and feel a little love. Not a bad prescription for a healthier you, eh?

Seed Cycling and the hormone connection

2014-07-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

Hormones ~ what the hell are they really, and how in the world can they wreak such havoc on someone’s life? I remember well my teen years, when mere innocence gets replaced by a tsunami of hormonal upheaval, trading hopscotch for cramps, Chinese Jump Rope for headaches, and the monkey bars for a face full of breakouts ~ it doesn’t seem quite a fair exchange.

Later, after I had given birth to my daughter, my hormones just seemed to be pissed off. Of course, there was still the steady supply of bloating and achiness, but now they were accompanied by an incredible 3-day migraine that became a permanent monthly fixture. They were also accompanied by blurry vision, nausea, you know, the whole enchilada. Then came the night sweats (luckily I didn’t have too many hot flashes, like my best friend, Virginia, who always exclaimed she was going to tear off her clothes and run down the street naked ~ and I’m sure she made good on that exclamation a time or two.)

But probably one of the worst things, and the one thing most misunderstood by the innocent bystander (usually the men in our lives and our children) are the mood swings. These moods swings would randomly and without any notice, show up and have me crying, depressed, grouchy, and definitely not a pretty picture to be around. They were accompanied by more drama than a daytime soap opera. My then husband (lord help him) would collect my daughter and patiently take her out for Chinese food, or anywhere, just to have some peace for a short time. He would give me what he hoped would be ample time to sulk in my own misery before calling to make sure the coast was clear before they headed home.

Now 25+ years later, and I’m still dealing with it. It seemed I had broke through, rounded the corner, that I was free for awhile. But no, recently I woke again with night sweats, and those familiar pounding headaches. And, they’ve been lasting three days.

Hormones are not something that we only have to deal with periodically. They are here to stay, fluctuating and changing their minds on a regular basis. Sometimes they get out of whack, go into hiding and then reappear like a game of hide and seek. And they always jump out from around the corner and scare the hell out of you. But taking hormone replacement therapy scares me even more.

So, here I am now with what I hope to be some good news. I just discovered something called seed cycling and have just started doing this. This is new to me, I have no idea how long it has actually been around, but I’m guessing a long time.

Seed cycling integrates different seeds into the diet at different times to support optimal hormonal balance. Basically, you eat a tablespoon daily of certain seeds for two weeks, and then the same amount of different seeds the remaining two weeks of each month. The idea is that seeds carry certain oils, vitamins and nutrients that can help support the body’s production, release and metabolism of hormones. Different seeds contain different types and amounts of lignans (a chemical compound) and essential fatty acids. Lignans help our body bind up excess hormones, whereas fatty acids help with our hormone production.

I could tell you all about it, but I think if you just Google it, you’ll find much more than I can offer. I will post one link here where you can go to read up on this practice. The author knows a lot more about it, is clear and precise, making it easy to follow. Seed cycling ~ oh yeah, I’m all over it.

http://www.mountainlakewellness.com/blog/seed-cycling-for-hormone-balancing

Little did they know ~

2014-07-09T05:39:00.000-07:00

The doctor basically called me a liar. I was 13, sitting with my mother in his office as she laid out the story of how her 13 year old daughter had gained a whopping 30 pounds in 3 months. She told him how she cooked the right foods for me, watched the calorie intake, and still, something strange was happening. He looked at me, and then looked at my mother and asked “Is she hiding food under her bed? She must be hiding food somewhere.”

At the time, which was around 1970, the school of thought was “burn more calories than you consume, and, a calorie is a calorie.” Plain and simple. There was no thought given to metabolism, hormones, chemicals, allergies, or any other possible explanations. Everyone assumed that if you were overweight, you ate too much and were just a lazy couch potato.

5 years later, at eighteen, I had surgery and was in a hospital bed for 10 straight days. And though I can’t quite remember all the details, I do know that for the first few days I was on a liquid diet while the remainder of my stay I consumed nothing more than hospital food, and still unbelievably managed to gain 10 pounds. The doctors had no explanation for it.

Somewhere around my early 20’s, the extra weight just seemed to disappear. It was so gradual that I didn’t even notice. It just seemed I woke up one day and realized I was no longer fat. I hadn’t been dieting. In fact, I hadn’t changed anything that I could think of. No radical exercise regime, no stress, and no change in eating habits. It was just gone. Through the years I managed to keep the extra weight off. Occasionally I would go up an extra five or sometimes even 10 pounds, but I never took it off by dieting. It just seemed that somehow without my involvement, it would just disappear.

Now, in my 50’s, I’ve been facing the same situation. But this time I come armed with much more nutritional, emotional, and physical ammunition. I’ve learned a lot. The biggest and most important discovery I have made over all of these years, as I have struggled to maintain what I felt was a good and healthy weight for me, is that it is about much more than the food.

I received my training from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, where I was trained in more than one hundred dietary theories and studied a variety of practical lifestyle coaching methods. Drawing on this knowledge, I will help you create a completely personalized “roadmap to health” that suits your unique body, lifestyle, preferences, and goals. My mission is to help those who have had similar frustrations and are at a loss with what to do next. Together, we can figure this out.

Learn more about my training and my unique approach to health coaching.

Are you curious about how health coaching can help you? Let’s talk. Schedule an initial consultation with me today.

Divine Intervention

2014-07-02T16:05:00.001-07:00

Can I go off again on the subject of aging? I do know that I’ve sung this song a time or two, but mainly to the tune of all the physical break downs. As much as I’ve complained about the faulty eye sight, the aching joints, the stiff lower back, the mornings that take a little longer to welcome in the day, I don’t know if I’ve touched on the pure emotional toll aging takes on a person.

It’s hard sometimes to stay present and be in that state of gratitude for everyday that you wake up breathing. Yes, I know I should get down on my knees and kiss the ground each morning. Let out a big hallelujah that I have been gifted another day of life on the planet. And occasionally, I do remember to do this. Usually it is on the days that my coffee tastes incredibly good.

Today I was driving near the City College and a few young girls passed me on their morning jog. Not together. They came one after the other. It was one of the rare times that reality sort of grabs my attention, reminds me of yesteryear, and I feel a deep sense of loss as it goes sashaying by. It hit me how these young people have so much opportunity ahead of them, so many choices that they can make, so many different directions they can take. And I felt excited. For them.

But it is a melancholy day when you realize that most of your major life decisions have already been made, you have already had your chance to choose a career, the size of your family, the man/woman of your dreams, the place to call home, you've rounded third, you know, not much to do now but slide. Now this is just an observation, and nothing more. This is not a I'm not really gonna do it suicide note, a letter of regret to my past loves, or anything of the sort. I realize that life is not over and there is still plenty to do and choices to make. But they’re just not the BIG ones. And there are times I’d welcome a do-over on the BIG ones.

I know a lot of times people look back and many of them say, “I wouldn’t have had it any other way” ~ I wonder how true this statement is. I wouldn’t have it any other way either as far as the friends I’ve made, the family that I have, and the daughter that has blessed my life like no other.

And yet, there are so many things I would’ve done different. If I'd only thought things through a bit more, if I would’ve known that so much depended on the decisions I would make, if I'd really taken this "life" thing seriously. Especially that old saying "life is short" or "in the end, it's the blink of an eye." I wonder where life would have taken me if I would’ve adopted an attitude of “planning” as opposed to the more, free spirited, “there are no mistakes” mantra. Could that even possibly be true? That there are no mistakes? If you want to feel comfortable in all of your choices, you can subscribe to that school of spiritual thought, that we are all exactly where we are supposed to be in this very moment and all others.

So then, this is it. Everything is exactly as it should be. Well, okay, things really aren't too bad. It's just that sometimes I wish I would have been consulted about my own divine plan.

The Rocky Horror-monal Show

2014-06-26T21:17:00.001-07:00

Hormones ~ what the hell are they really, and how in the world can they wreak such havoc on someone’s life? I remember during my teen years, when innocence gets replaced by a tsunami of hormonal upheaval, trading hopscotch for cramps, Chinese Jump Rope for headaches, and the monkey bars for a face full of breakouts ~ it doesn’t seem quite a fair exchange.

http://www.mountainlakewellness.com/blog/seed-cycling-for-hormone-balancing

The art of merging

2014-06-21T22:45:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned before that I do have some what of a superiority complex. I don't deny it, and I actually will admit it, especially when I'm behind the wheel of a car. I've always loved to drive, even before I actually had a driver's license. I remember taking my Dad's old El Camino out for a spin, stopping by to pick up a friend, and zooming around the neighborhood. There was nothing like the freedom afforded to you when you put your foot on that gas pedal, turned up the AM radio and rolled the windows down. I never had any fear of driving, of going fast, of traveling to the unknown. It seemed as natural to me as walking.

So, for those reasons, I find it very hard to understand people who drive, but really don't know how to drive. They don't know how to keep up with the speed limit, they don't know who has the right of way at a stop sign, especially a 4-way stop sign, they definitely can't figure out the rhythm of the round about and worst of all, they don't know how to merge onto the freeway.

Why is it that so many drivers think that the time you need to increase your speed is once you've climbed up the on ramp and are now on the freeway? This drives me crazy. Speed it up, people! You should be merging with oncoming traffic at the speed that they are going. That is why you MERGE ~ seamlessly, you don't cause everyone else to slow down or almost come to a complete stop because you can't quite figure out how if you should go faster to get in front of the oncoming car, or slowly slip in from behind.

And the art of merging also applies to the drivers that are already on the highway and driving in the slow lane. Give the guy who is trying to merge some room. Or make a courtesy lane change. This really is a team sport, with all of us being on the same team, though you wouldn't know it the way most Americans treat the highway, like a war zone with every other driver being the enemy.

There is an art to driving and it is an art that needs to be practiced and perfected. It is not something that you should be learning on the job. It is much too important. Driving today isn't as leisurely as it was in my childhood days, where you could ride without seat belts, hang your head out the window, or sit on the edge in the back of a pick-up truck.

No, in this day and age of faster speed limits, heavier traffic, and people in a hurry, driving has become a much more dangerous game, and one of the key moves is perfecting the art of merging.

It's really not a lot to ask for, is it?

2014-06-19T06:33:00.001-07:00

If a genie appeared before me right now, on this early June morning, 5:00 am, and granted me three wishes, I believe I would ask for things I've already had, but have since lost. I don't have any dreams of grandeur that need to be filled, my wishes are much simpler, but just as difficult to fill.

For starters, I would ask for my 20/20 vision back and that I keep it for the rest of my life. This is definitely the thing I miss most from my youth, and would pay handsomely to have it back. Not by laser surgery or in the form of some stylish glasses, but really have it back, naturally.

The second thing I would ask for is to get a good night's sleep, consistently. This one I probably gave up right around the age of 29. Having a child keeps you up a good portion of the night, and this starts while they are still in the womb and doesn't end until they move out. And even then, there are many nights that you lie awake, thinking about them, hoping they are okay. The mind seems to get more active the older you get while the body takes a back seat, a little too stiff and sore to keep up. It's hard to turn the mind off and for some reason it really likes to kick into full gear around 3 or 4 am. I've tried many different relaxation techniques, meditation, not drinking any liquids at night, reading books and all the other tips found in every newspaper article and women's magazine, and still, no success.

And my last wish would be to have my family back, all intact, all in the same town, all together again. To share more than just holidays, but our everyday lives. This one I haven't had since around the age of 20, so it has been a long time coming.

If that old saying, "be careful what you wish for" has any validity, and if miracles really do happen, well then, you never know. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and restlessly waiting for my Genie to appear.