Special delivery.

Duty always calls at the worst times, doesn’t it?

According to KGW.com, a postal worker in Southeast Portland was caught on camera defecating in a neighbor’s yard. Neighborhood Watch comes in handy, especially when it catches a USPS worker in the wrong.

The USPS responded with the following:

This will not happen again with that mail carrier in the neighborhood.

Interesting to note, the carrier was not fired. In fact, he was simply relocated to a separate route. That leads us to believe that public defecating is an acceptable practice, but not preferred.

Talk about a bad case of the Mondays. It’s hard to say who had it worse, the postal man or the neighbor who took the pictures of the postal man.

When you got to go, you got to go. I guess?

Check out the report below:

[Source: KGW.com]

Fake it 'til you make it.

Sure, he can be irritable, pompous, and sometimes even frightening, but every now and then Seinfeld’s George Costanza has a piece of golden advice for us all.

The clip below details the Costanza solution to looking busy at work. The key? – Acting annoyed.

Enjoy.

Ahhhh! Real Jobless Monsters!

How’s this for irony? You are now unemployed, because your company, which specializes in finding employment for people, is letting you go because the job market is terrible.

Unfortunately, the truth is often stranger than fiction, as this is going on as we speak at leading job hunting site Monster.com.

According to Reuters:

Online recruitment firm Monster Worldwide Inc forecast a weak start to the year and said it will cut jobs, as it does not expect the global job market to improve drastically in the near term.

Shares of the company, which will reduce its global workforce by about 7 percent or 400 jobs, fell 15 percent on Thursday on the New York Stock Exchange.

Now, these unfortunate people are on the prowl for new jobs. Do they continue to use online sites that they thought the mastered, or go with the traditional boots on the ground approach?

Former Monster employees haven't done this in years.

So in summary, no one is safe. The economy always seems to be in the gutter which will continue to force cuts. This is a constant hazard that even recruitment firms aren’t immune to.

[Source: Reuters.com]

Your competition.

We’ve been providing our readers with a sneak peak of some of our favorite resumes found on Craigslist. After those long days of job hunting, sometimes we all need a good laugh.

If we can provide one piece of advice, don’t follow any of the resume postings on Craigslist.

Although entertaining, it’s doubtful that many Fortune 500 companies are prowling Craigslist for potential hires.

This week appears more depressing than others. There are far too many people simply asking for work without any real qualifications. How these people find work is beyond us.

That said, let’s just see how tough your “competition” really is:

Wow, what a genius. Years of social media use can come in handy, you just have to find the right buyer. Shame on a business owner if he can run a successful company, and can’t figure out how to create a profile on Facebook. I don’t think there will be too many email inquiries on this one.

Think you can solve the impossible? Are you a refrigerator expert? If so, you’ve just landed yourself a job.

The make and models of the cars are not listed. That’s not even the worst part. You have a person, obviously looking for work, who will not start earlier than 11am. Who needs a driver in the afternoon? Good luck buddy.

$1,000 a week? Roughly $4,000 a month and $48,000 a year. Sounds OK, but this couple is looking to split the total. Our recommendation: split up the “dynamic duo” and earn two sources of income.

This is a top 5 post. Favorite line of the day: “this is a family oriented environment.” OK, I get it. They aren’t talking about the dancing environment, but how they are treated within the company. I don’t have much experience in this matter, but based on “factual” information from Hollywood, they aren’t treated like “family.”

Our other favorite Craigslist resumes:
November 16, 2011
December 21, 2011
January 18, 2012

The team at SocialCast thinks not. In fact, they believe business can learn quite a bit from sports leagues and teams, all detailed in the below infographic. Keep this in mind the next time you ask your “coach” for a bigger “contract” because you’re a top performing “player”.

[Source: SocialCast]

#newsfromthecube highlights

In addition to the community we’ve built here on The Collared Sheep, there’s a fun group of folks on Twitter who make the work day easier by broadcasting live from their cubicles and offices.

We use the Twitter hashtag #newsfromthecube (or #nftc when we’re pushing 140 characters). And because we know you’re pulled into meetings or get stuck on conference calls all the time, you can’t always be up on your cubicle news.

So allow us to present some of our favorite #newsfromthecube tweets from the last week!

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Past installments of #newsfromthecube

Brief Overview:

In this week’s episode of “Undercover Boss”,  Rick Tigner, President of Kendall-Jackson Wine Estates, goes undercover as “Jake Williams” to gain a better understanding of how his wine company works as a whole.

Analysis

Grapes of Wrath

Position 1: Assistant Vineyard Manager

Overview: A 24 year old female vineyard manager Laura shows Rick the basics of crop estimation and gopher prevention at one of the vineyards.

Result: Rick has great difficulty communicating with Laura’s team, as they all speak Spanish. Laura does not.

Rick learns that Laura is proud to be one of the few females in her position, and notes that her college courses prepared her well.

How he made amends: Rick details he plans to start two new programs: a management training program, and a language training program. Laura is also given $10k to assist with her student loans.

What he should have done: To deal with the language difficulties, Rick could either hire English speaking workers, or train managers to speak Spanish. Training managers to speak Spanish would likely be the cheaper option, and allows people like Laura to add another bullet point to the ol’ resume – Rick “para la victoria” (translation: for the win).

Side note: I never understood why they blur out the mouth on TV when someone curses. Do they think we can all read lips?

Position 2: Truck Driver

Overview: Rick joins Rene while they go door to door delivering wine packages to businesses and restaurants.

Result: Rick is shocked to hear Rene discuss his distaste for his job and coworkers, using curse words like a sailor. Rene cares little about customer service, and only about getting rid of the packages so that he can go home as soon as possible.

How he made amends: Rick brings Rene to his office, and gives him plenty of opportunities to apologize for his actions, admit his view is wrong and he needs to be a team player for team Kendall-Jackson. Rene’s responses are mediocre at best. Rene is given a 30 day suspension from truck driving, and instead must work in office to learn the “other side” of the team. The hope is that this will make him appreciate the team effort.

What he should have done: We’ve got to hand it to Rick. He allowed Rene a chance to redeem himself, where many bosses may have just let him go. It turns out, an update at the end of the show mentions that Rene develops a better method of filing out paperwork for the office he’s required to shadow, and he turns out to be somewhat of an asset after all. Rick’s gut was correct.

99 bottles of wine on the wall, 99 bottles of wine...

Position 3: Bottling Supervisor

Overview: Marcos, a bottling supervisor who’s worked at the company for more than 20 years, shows Rick various positions along the bottling conveyor system.

Result: Rick finds it very difficult to work fast enough for the system, and the conveyors had to be halted several times while he caught up.

Rick learns that Marcos likes to DJ as a hobby, and has an exceptionally long commute.

How he made amends: As a token of appreciation, Marcos is awarded $5k for new DJ equipment, an additional $5,000 for gas expenses to help with his commuting costs, and finally $10,000 to take his family on vacation.

Rick also instituted a new Jess Jackson award, with Marcos being the first recipient, that includes a $2,000 cash bonus.

What he should have done: Rick was the bottleneck of the bottling system. After being moved to a new station, it was running once again like a well oiled machine.

All jokes aside, the main issue he was the lack of recognition some of the loyal employees felt they had received over the years. Rick notes the problem, and  implements a new yearly award to address it.

It has a certain..."je ne sais pas"

Position 4: Sales Associate

Overview: Rick tries to assist Savannah as a sales associate at one of the wine tasting club stores.

Result: Rick performs fairly well, in comparison to some of the previous roles. Savannah chimes in whenever Rick forgets the details of certain wines, or current promotional deals.

Rick learns that Savannah had a very tough upbringing, and was homeless at 14 after her mom died of a drug overdose. She now works 38-40 hours a week, but is still considered part-time, and there earns no medical benefits. The company also did away with the 401k benefits due to recent economic conditions, so that is not in the cards for her either.

How he made amends: Rick pledges to donate $10k in her name to a homeless shelter of her choice. Savannah is offered a her full-time job that comes with a $5k raise and medical benefits. Rick notes that he will cover the first $5k of any of her medical costs. Rick restores the company wide 401k program, as icing on the cake.

What he should have done: The store appeared to be running full steam ahead without a hitch, leaving the main issue to be Savannah’s benefits and 401k (both tackled by Rick). Rick surprised us by removing the 401k program ban company wide – this is likely not a small expense, and shows that he and Kendall-Jackson truly care.

Grade:

This wine goes great with damn near everything.

Rick Tigner earned an “A” grade for hisappearance on Undercover Boss.

In one of the most stellar performances to date from an Undercover Boss, Rick Tigner’s combination of charismatic leadership abilities, big picture thinking, and focused approach to the issues his company faces earn him excellent marks from the Collared Sheep team.

Pop a bottle for this one, and make sure its a good year. Well done, Rick.

Don’t like our grade? Drop us a rebuttal, and leave a comment below.

Wait, you said "21 Jump St., right?".

According to Courthouse News Service, police raided a man’s home by firing a flash bomb through his back door, smashing through the door, and zip tieing the man’s hands behind his back. Danny Cantu, a diesel mechanic in Dallas, was the unfortunate individual.

Not only did they tie him up, but they beat him until he was bloody and unconscious. They then ransacked his home as a bonus.

The kicker? It was the wrong guy.

Danny Cantu was never convicted of a crime, and walked (as well as he could) free. Here is a recap of the complaint:

In matter of milliseconds after the deafening and frightening explosion, the defendant officers … forcefully entered the home by ramming through the back door.

Defendant officers then proceeded to ‘zip tie’ plaintiff Danny Cantu’s hand behind his back placing him under arrest. Not satisfied with shooting bombs off in plaintiff’s home, violently breaking the door down and screaming at plaintiff Danny Cantu for no reason, defendant officers then proceed to repeatedly kick and beat him, causing significant bodily injuries which rendered him unconscious and lying in a pool of his own blood.

Officers searched his home but did not find any illegal items or contraband. Mistakes like this are hard to cover up. Especially when the following damages are inflicted on an individual:

Sorry, you've got the wrong mechanic.

• Broken orbital bone
• Broken nose
• Concussion
• Traumatic brain injury
• Loss of vision in left eye
• Loss of hearing in left ear
• Surgical intervention
• Significant scarring
• Disfigurement

Surprise surprise, Danny Cantu is seeking punitive damages for the mistake. Even in the United States, where lawsuits are more common than traffic violations, it is hard to argue this one.

I’m not quite sure who is having a worse case of the Mondays, the City of Dallas or Danny Cantu?

[Source: Courthouse News Service]

asdf

A prime example of a work communication FAIL.

Well, to be fair, it’s more of an intelligence fail, with a side of no communication. But who’s the dumb one here – the workers? Or the guy who hired them?

Lucky for me, it was an issue that was out of my control and something he was only half mad about. But there’s really nothing worse than having a boss call you out for something that went wrong, when the blood is on your hands.

It’s a huge occupational hazard. And we came across a really good example of it in Missouri:

Mayor Loretta Johnson says there are 120 cases where potential suspects ran free because Dellwood police failed to forward the cases to the county prosecutor. … Johnson says as a result of this investigation, she’s now recommending the termination three officers who refuse to cooperate with this investigation.

Where did you get that gun, officer?

Well, that’s pretty much the definition of getting called out in the workplace.

A recent audit showed some pretty gross negligence on part of some police officers, including one top cop who used a gun for personal use that was collected as evidence in a crime. Another sold copper that was acquired during a case.

I know copper is going for a pretty penny these days, but people get arrested for that.

Sounds like the protect and serve credo was brushed aside and obviously that’s gonna come back to bite you.

[Source: KSDK]

Yesterday was one of those days. The internet was out in the afternoon, and I was left to twiddle my thumbs.

It is amazing how much we rely on an internet connection at the workplace. No longer are the days where the internet was only beneficial for surfing the web. Now, if your company has you somewhere in a satellite office, an internet connection is required to access shared files.

Would we revert back to the Stone Age without the internet?

When the connection is dropped, there are a series of emotions that arise.

1. The first being frustration. Whatever documents you were working on, will of course NOT be saved.
2. You then feel a sense of determination. The more you click on your web browser, the faster the internet will start working again. In the back of your mind, you know this will not work, but you continue to try, and try again.
3. Once you realize that the connection is not coming back. One begins to feel the lack of compassion. Expletives are said aloud about the situation. There is nothing further one can do, but wrap up work for the day.
4. Finally, a sense of happiness comes over you, as you begin to realize that the world’s reliance on the internet, isn’t always so bad. This might not be applicable to all, but it was at least applicable to my situation yesterday.