The Couples Toolkit https://thecouplestoolkit.com/ Mon, 26 Jun 2023 21:50:29 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 https://thecouplestoolkit.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Favicon-80x80.png The Couples Toolkit https://thecouplestoolkit.com/ 32 32 The Pandemic Coupledom 2021: Reinventing the Meaning of Us https://thecouplestoolkit.com/the-pandemic-coupledom-2021-reinventing-the-meaning-of-us/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-pandemic-coupledom-2021-reinventing-the-meaning-of-us https://thecouplestoolkit.com/the-pandemic-coupledom-2021-reinventing-the-meaning-of-us/#comments Wed, 31 Mar 2021 18:10:50 +0000 https://thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9692 The Pandemic Coupledom 2021: A Year of Reinventing the Meaning of “Us” A Year of Loss How is your Coupledom doing a year into the abhorrent challenge of the COVID-19 pandemic? Have you suffered the greatest price, the loss of a loved one – your partner or your parent, your child or your friend? I […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/the-pandemic-coupledom-2021-reinventing-the-meaning-of-us/feed/ 3 Pandemic Wisdom For The Coupledom: The Chance To Be Swaddled Again https://thecouplestoolkit.com/pandemic-wisdom-for-the-coupledom-the-chance-to-be-swaddled-again-2/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=pandemic-wisdom-for-the-coupledom-the-chance-to-be-swaddled-again-2 https://thecouplestoolkit.com/pandemic-wisdom-for-the-coupledom-the-chance-to-be-swaddled-again-2/#comments Thu, 04 Mar 2021 12:00:14 +0000 https://thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9626 This painful Pandemic Pause in our lives offers a time for reflection. And this post is the product of that reflection. As I said to one couple who visited for a session outside on my deck, often what we seek from each other is to be comforted, swaddled, made to feel safe again. And most […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/pandemic-wisdom-for-the-coupledom-the-chance-to-be-swaddled-again-2/feed/ 2 Coupledom Crossroads: Empty Nesting in the Age of Netflix https://thecouplestoolkit.com/coupledom-crossroads-empty-nesting-in-the-age-of-netflix/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=coupledom-crossroads-empty-nesting-in-the-age-of-netflix https://thecouplestoolkit.com/coupledom-crossroads-empty-nesting-in-the-age-of-netflix/#respond Mon, 08 Feb 2021 06:39:05 +0000 http://thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9495 Lately I have seen an increase in couples turning to therapy as a tool to navigate the empty nest chapter of their marriage, or an impending retirement of one or both of the partners. A new current of concern is vibrating through the Coupledom – the unknown is looming and the challenges in the relationship that […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/coupledom-crossroads-empty-nesting-in-the-age-of-netflix/feed/ 0 The Hot Potato of Blame Game https://thecouplestoolkit.com/the-hot-potato-of-blame-game/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-hot-potato-of-blame-game https://thecouplestoolkit.com/the-hot-potato-of-blame-game/#respond Fri, 29 Jan 2021 11:55:47 +0000 http://thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9481 Often, a “discussion” of relationship problems is in reality a “hot potato of blame game”. Each partner assumes a familiar stance based on notions that they  know what their partner is thinking and are therefore prepared to pull out an arsenal of phrases tailored to protect themselves from “blame” and designed to provide “evidence” that […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/the-hot-potato-of-blame-game/feed/ 0 Humor in Couples Therapy https://thecouplestoolkit.com/humor-in-couples-therapy/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=humor-in-couples-therapy https://thecouplestoolkit.com/humor-in-couples-therapy/#respond Fri, 29 Jan 2021 11:53:08 +0000 http://thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9480 I have experienced the bonding effects of shared humor and the therapeutic role it plays in a couples’ relationship. Often, in the course of the therapy, one of the healthiest signs that the marriage is still viable and can become strong again is the shared humor about family matters, each person’s shortcomings, children, and relatives. […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/humor-in-couples-therapy/feed/ 0 For The Coupledom: What to Ask Your Parents While They Are Alive https://thecouplestoolkit.com/for-the-coupledom-what-to-ask-your-parents-while-they-are-alive/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=for-the-coupledom-what-to-ask-your-parents-while-they-are-alive https://thecouplestoolkit.com/for-the-coupledom-what-to-ask-your-parents-while-they-are-alive/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2020 21:47:25 +0000 http://www.thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9383 The sad season of the global Pandemic and its devastation in our nation prompts many questions and offers new opportunities. For the Coupledom and for adult children everywhere, the mortality reality accentuates the limits of “time” and the unpredictability of loss. In my work, I encourage couples and individuals to be curious about their parents’ […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/for-the-coupledom-what-to-ask-your-parents-while-they-are-alive/feed/ 2 For the Coupledom: How to Take Ownership and Why It Is So Scary https://thecouplestoolkit.com/for-the-coupledom-how-to-take-ownership-and-why-it-is-so-scary/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=for-the-coupledom-how-to-take-ownership-and-why-it-is-so-scary https://thecouplestoolkit.com/for-the-coupledom-how-to-take-ownership-and-why-it-is-so-scary/#comments Fri, 13 Mar 2020 15:42:17 +0000 http://www.thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9308 Reader Beware: This post is not intended for the quick fixers or the folks who find exploration of emotion boring! The hardest psychological endeavor in the couples therapy process is the act of taking ownership for perceived hurtful behaviors to one’s partner. Seconds after a spouse expresses their feelings, with lightning speed, their partner launches […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/for-the-coupledom-how-to-take-ownership-and-why-it-is-so-scary/feed/ 7 Conflagration or Communication: Shielding Vulnerability https://thecouplestoolkit.com/conflagration-or-communication-shielding-vulnerability/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=conflagration-or-communication-shielding-vulnerability https://thecouplestoolkit.com/conflagration-or-communication-shielding-vulnerability/#comments Thu, 31 Jan 2019 22:10:38 +0000 http://www.thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9153 Words can be incendiary. Words can be inviting. Words can be soothing or exciting. Words can be informing or confusing. The power of words fueled by tone of voice and facial expression, highlighted by hand gestures and body movement, can open up a communication or shut it down. Fact or fiction or subjective interpretation, words […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/conflagration-or-communication-shielding-vulnerability/feed/ 1 Holiday Horrors for Adult Children of Divorce – A Toolkit of Options https://thecouplestoolkit.com/holiday-horrors-for-adult-children-of-divorce-a-toolkit-of-options/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=holiday-horrors-for-adult-children-of-divorce-a-toolkit-of-options https://thecouplestoolkit.com/holiday-horrors-for-adult-children-of-divorce-a-toolkit-of-options/#respond Mon, 10 Dec 2018 20:17:47 +0000 http://www.thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9114 There should be no shame in divorce. After all, it is a challenge to sustain a marriage through a lifetime. And the circumstances of each uncoupling is unique to the coupling pair. Yet the wake of pain can follow the players throughout a lifetime, with a residue that impacts children, grandchildren, new marriages and families […]

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]]> https://thecouplestoolkit.com/holiday-horrors-for-adult-children-of-divorce-a-toolkit-of-options/feed/ 0 In The Coupledom Grownups Need To Talk Like Three-Year-Olds https://thecouplestoolkit.com/in-the-coupledom-grownups-need-to-talk-like-three-year-olds/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=in-the-coupledom-grownups-need-to-talk-like-three-year-olds https://thecouplestoolkit.com/in-the-coupledom-grownups-need-to-talk-like-three-year-olds/#comments Tue, 31 Jul 2018 20:53:51 +0000 http://www.thecouplestoolkit.com/?p=9083 Many years and many blog posts later, I am thinking about the word redundant. Will this next blog post that I am tempted to write be redundant, as in no longer needed or superfluous? Haven’t I published ad nauseam, meaning to a sickening or excessive degree, the topic of communication in the Coupledom? Well, yes […]

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