The Creative Side of Jen

Redefining Myself For A Summer

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Sun, 22 May 2011 13:52:00 +0000

Last summer, after completing my first year of law school, several of my classmates were taking the summer off. Not me! I signed up for two classes, dropped one after coming to terms with the fact I did not want to be at school four days a week for my entire summer, and was the diligent student ever so slowly chipping away at my goal. I remember thinking, "I can't take an entire summer off... my brain will stop functioning. I will forget how to read like a law student. I will lose my ability to make an outline. I will get out of practice." I just couldn't IMAGINE not going to school last summer.

So imagine my surprise when, as summer enrollment began this year, the absolute last thing I wanted to do was take a summer class. I think some of my classmates, those closest to me, thought I would cave and sign up for a least one. There was a moment where I looked at a class and thought "maybe." But at the end of the day, I stuck to my resolution of "re-booting" my law school life and taking a summer off. I will have to take classes next summer and the following summer I will be studying for the bar. My rationale was that I had successfully finished two years of law school, so it was time to reboot, refresh, relax, and then dive back in for 2 more years.

Now the question is - what the heck do I do with this new found freedom? First of all, let me clarify - I am not just sitting at home all summer. I still go to work everyday and work between 40-45 hours a week - unfortunately taking a "summer break" there is not an option. But still, what do I do in the evenings when I don't have to go to class? What do I do on the weekends when I don't have to hop out of bed and start reading or studying or working on an outline right away?

I have always been an avid reader, and truth be told, I always sneak in at least one "book for pleasure" during my law school semester. Granted, it takes me all of three or four months to actually read it, but I get through it. So naturally, I will be reading a lot more. I have recharged the battery in my Kindle and have started carrying it around - a very light replacement for the heavy law school backpack. I already flew through the ending of a book I had started during the semester and then completed another one. It's only been a week. And actually, I think I was a little slow on that last one.

Organizer that I am, I actually wrote a "to do list" of things I want to accomplish this summer. Everything from "read books" to "play sand volleyball" to "plan a vacation" is on the list. And lots of other things in between. I wrote the list as I was studying for finals - a way to motivate myself to keep pushing through those last couple of weeks. So, here it is - summer break - and I actually dreamed about school last night. I dreamed it was my fall semester already and I was hopping from class to class to try and find a seat. I had anxiety over the one day class I am taking next fall - because I am not looking forward to leaving the comfort zone of my fellow night class folks. Just a silly little dream that WOULD NOT END. When I woke up, I was exhausted. And I thought, "really Jennifer? Really?" I am only a week into my summer break and already I am thinking about school. I see the posts on Facebook about my classmates who are getting ready for summer classes, reading, starting their pre-outlines, buying books, etc. Suddenly I feel so disconnected. Like I have suddenly cut out a part of my life. It's a strange feeling.

I know that I will return in the fall and all my friends will be there and classes will be the same and I will be tired again and my back will hurt from the heavy backpack and my diet will turn to crap again and I will be complaining about professors and I will be arguing the ridiculous court opinions from our case books and I will be scoping out the best hornbook to study for the finals, and I will get frustrated at my study partner's ability to reiterate verbatim everything the professor has said and I will laugh at the oddities that appear in the classroom and... and... and... and everything will be right in the world again.

Until then - cheers to a summer of fun! No matter whether you are a taking classes or not, working or not, or even if you are not part of my law school community and you are wondering what the hell that last paragraph was about - enjoy it. Take time to enjoy it.

Until next time,

Jen

My Very Incredible Droid

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 21:35:00 +0000

Some people reward themselves with clothes, vacations, massages… I rewarded myself for successfully finishing my Spring semester of school with the purchase of the new Droid Incredible. As I walked into Best Buy the day after my last final my heart soared to find out that there was exactly ONE Incredible in stock there. As I made the leap and not only ended my 10 year relationship with Sprint, but embarrassingly put my beat up pink Palm Centro on the counter, I saw the look of pity in the eyes of the Best Buy guy. I moved from clunky pink Palm to sleek black Incredible. And yes… I love it!

I had the toss up between iPhone and Droid and at the end of the day my reason for Droid was 3-fold. 1.) I have not heard great things about AT&T. From cell service, to prices, to customer service. 2.) When asked to compare the benefits of iPhone vs. Droid… the iPhone people always said “iPhone!” with a zealous excitement but nothing else. As if I was supposed to get it because it had an “apple” on the back of it and that would inherently make me cool. Whereas Droid people listed reasons, from operating systems, to app availability, to multi-tasking and more. The people who use software and data in a similar fashion as I do all recommended the Droid. 3.) I just hate being like everyone else. Now I realize that eventually we are all going to have either an iPhone or a Droid, but something about going out to a bar and seeing 98% of the people pulling out an iPhone just turns my stomach. So, I like that Droid is giving the iPhone a run for their money. I like that people are realizing the benefits of the Droid and realizing that there is something else out there.

Now, I realize that by posting this, I am going to get some iPhone junkies defending their position till the death and if I am lucky I can get some Droid v. iPhone Debate happening… but nonetheless… I love my Droid!!

Why? Let’s see… I don’t ever start my laptop unless I am doing school work. I read the news, shop, look for movies, manage my social networking, upload photos to Picasa, email, take photos (8 megapixel photos), GPS navigate myself wherever I need to go, store my grocery store discount cards (lighter key ring!), listen to online music, and so much more. Oh… and play mindless games… my favorite… SKETCH! It’s like Pictionary with people from all over. You draw, you guess, you get points… basically… you pass time. I can even read books on it… but not much (I still love the Kindle, folks).

So, it’s sleek, it’s cool, it’s functional, it’s fast, yes folks… it’s INCREDIBLE!

The Power of One

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 23:14:00 +0000

As we go through our lives, I think sometimes we don't realize exactly how much power we each have in this world. At some point we have all been at the point where we ask "why". Why does this have to happen to me? Why do I have to experience this? There is a point where we feel like the world is so much bigger than us and that we have no control over what is happening to us. But what happens when you stop for a moment and realize the power you actually DO have?

In my professional life, I have the power to affect lives in all sorts of ways. Last month I promoted someone to their first ever supervisory position. I have affected her life, because now she is really starting her "career". This is the first step. I remember my first management position and how much I learned from it. I look back now and how much I have grown since that first position and I know that I have affected this person's life greatly (and she is doing fantastic, by the way!). Last month, I hired two new employees. One of them had been looking for work for nearly six months since being laid off at her last job. When I called to offer her the position, she almost cried on the phone she was so excited. I affected her life by bringing her hope... and she is doing fantastic, by the way! Next week, I am going to have to let someone go. It is not going to be easy, we are eliminating a position, and I am going to offer another position, but I feel fairly certain that the cut in pay is not going to be something that works, and so I am going to affect yet another life (and unfortunately not in such a good way). And I am just one person.

Last month, I donated money for Haiti relief. It wasn't a lot, but it was something, and I know that it is going to make a difference in someone's life. Last month, millions of people donated to the Haiti relief effort, all in their own small way... and as a collective whole, we have made a difference in someone's life. And we are just one community.

I have a friend who is currently going through the process of adopting not one, but most like two, children. Children who are in our foster system and so desperately need a home. And those people are going to affect the lives of so many with their decision. From the children they adopt, to the people in the community who are inspired by their giving nature, to their children's future children. And they are just one family.

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, the day of love, I want you to ask yourself, what have you done, as ONE PERSON, to affect someone else recently. Do you realize the power you possess within your self to affect others? If so, how are you using it? Use your time on this earth to make a difference, to affect the lives of others, to affect your own life. It is, after all, your life to live.

How to ensure law school doesn't suck the creative writing out of you...

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Sun, 10 Jan 2010 22:07:00 +0000

I just realized that I started and quite quickly abandoned this blog, with my last post being last February. That is pretty sad. Now, I have done some other writing but this blog in particular was started to help me keep my "creative" side going. A place where I could just write for fun, with no rhyme or reason. I have had a few people in the legal field tell me that their law career, law school especially, managed to suck their ability to do creative writing (short stories, poetry, etc) right out of them. I am trying to not let that happen to me. So I am going to set myself a reminder today on my calendar that I will post at least one "creative" blog per month on here. Somewhere to just stretch my thinking a little and maybe create some interesting banter. Now, I will not promise that the posts will not be law school or legal field related, after all that is my world right now, but I will promise that they will be entertaining, unstructured, and have just the right amount of "Jen" thrown in.

That's it for now... but another post before January is over!!

Sitting in the Coffee Shop

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 02:21:00 +0000

It's Friday night and I have gone to the local coffee shop because I needed internet access and a place for some coffee. There is live music here on the weekends so it is a great place to have a good coffee, sit on a comfy couch and hear some good tunes. Which was exactly what I had been doing until the 20 year old college couple came in and sat on the couch that is next to me. When they first came in they were all cuddly and kissy which is fine. Everyone deserves a little cuddly time. But then the band took a break and their conversation quickly drifted over to me. And it is so... childish... and the boy is obviously trying really hard to impress the girl because he is giggling at everything she says even though it is clear to everyone around us that it is not funny. I have not even moved my eyes in their direction to really see who they are or what they look like. That part is not really that important. What is important is that I was enjoying the music, and so were they... until the break. And now they are just talking away and giggling. Even though the music has started back. They are discussing what they are going to do for her 21st birthday. She wants to go to the casino and he is educating her on the odds of winning at the casino. And she thinks that is cute too I guess... because even that conversation makes her giggle. Then he giggles. And the giggling ensues... And I am out of coffee...

Why a bed in your living room is cool...

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Tue, 17 Feb 2009 02:51:00 +0000

So, since I am preparing to move next weekend, I have done some creative furniture shifting in my apartment. Basically, I disassembled my bed and I put all the boxes that I packed into my bedroom and took my mattress and box spring and placed them on the floor in my living room. So what this gives you is basically the ability to walk right in my front door and collapse onto the bed. So here are the reasons I think this is the coolest thing ever:

Instant relaxation as soon as you get home.
It's like having a sleepover or a camp out every night.
Everything you need (aka Refrigerator) is just a few steps away
Less vacuuming to do since the bed covers the entire living room floor
I am much more motivated to crawl into bed with a book instead of go out and eat/drink too much
It is entertaining to see the look on people's faces when you open your front door and a bed is right there.

The only catch... most of those things listed above are also negatives... and when I say negative, I mean that they totally promote laziness. :) But hey... it's only for another week so I am living it up while I can!!

Concerned Parent Gets Kicked in the A**

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 17:10:00 +0000

That's right. It's Saturday morning and I am once more fired up by some random news article I stumbled across. Check out this story about a 14 year old boy who was charged with nine counts including statutory rape and indecent assault and battery of a child under the age of 14. Now those of you who know me well, you know that I am a huge advocate for sexual assault laws, sex offender regulation and much more. And I know that our law allows for little "gray" in some areas so that it can protect us from legal professionals. But sometimes, you just have to say, "COME ON - GET REAL".

Now, let me first say that I in no way condone the thought of my (or any) 14 year-old son having sex with anyone regardless of their age. And if the day comes where I find out my son has decided to make that decision at such a young age I am pretty sure my head will spin off my shoulders and I may need to have someone restrain me so that I don't beat him senseless. BUT, do I feel that he should be charged and marked forever as a sex offender because not only he, but the girl he liked, were both dumb enough to think they were ready to make such a monumental decision? NO!

Initially, when I started reading the article, I found the opening premise to be very valid. When I worked in law enforcement, one of my roles was to oversee the sex offender registration for the city where I worked. We didn't have a lot of offenders in that city, but even those we did have were a wide variety. From the teenage boy whose girlfriend happened to be just one year younger than the law thought "okay" so when her parents filed charges he was quickly found guilty, to the just plain creepy guy who performed lude sexual acts on kids 15 years younger than him. For the latter, I say lock them up, throw away the key and let them suffer the same pain they caused others. But the former... that is where we need the gray. So when I saw this article asking why the girls were not charged as well, it did give me pause. I mean, why were they not? They were all underage and they all made the same decisions. Why is only the boy made to be punished? Is the law actually saying that because he was 14 and the girls were 12 that he should be THAT much older and wiser than them?? I mean, obviously the court has not spent much time with a 14 year old boy before.

But hold on - I am not at the height of my pissdom (yeah, that's right... I said "pissdom") yet. I kept reading the article because I love being fired up in the morning. And there, in the last paragraph of the article is where you learn how it all started. The boy's father, being a good attentive father, read the son's sexually explicit text message from (or to) one of the girls. He was obviously upset and concerned about this behavior on the part of both children. So he called the mother of the girl to talk to her about it. The mother, she calls the police and files charges!! Even the girl is quoted as saying the acts were all consensual! So there, Dad... that's what you get for paying attention to your son and trying to open the lines of communication between you and the parents of your child's friends. Someone slap this woman.

Now, because I like to imagine the best in individuals, I would like to imagine that this woman, somewhere down the road realized she had overeacted by involving the police. Of course, by that time the law had control of it and she couldn't really go back. But maybe she at least realized it. What I am saying is this... as a parent, if you are put in this situation, LISTEN to your children. If you know your children, you will know if they are lying, you will know if they are saying it was consensual out of fear of retalliation or if they really felt it was. No child at the age of 12 can truly "consent" - I know that. But I also know that today, sex is cool. Kids are talking about sex, dressing sexy, taking sexy pictures, and some of them are actually having sex. You have got to get in there and intervene. Distract them. Hell, keep them so busy they don't have time to have sex. I don't know what the perfect answer is, all I know is that ruining a child's life by having him labeled as a sex offender for the rest of his life is not teaching him anything. Make him babysit everyday after school and all weekend to show him what it is like to be a parent at 14. That will teach him something.

You Reap What You Sow?

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 01:14:00 +0000

You know, I have always been a big believer in karma. I have seen it in action both in my own life and in the lives of others. Sometimes it is the little things like letting someone turn in front of you in traffic and sometimes its the larger things like giving freely of your time or talents in order to help others. When you do good, good seems to return to you.

On the other hand, when you do bad, bad seems to return as well. Just ask Alexander Kirilov, who learned the hard way that no bad deed goes unpunished. I mean, really?? First of all, who in their right mind looks at a raccoon and goes, "Hmm... I wonder if my ding-dong would fit in there?" And even if someone was loony enough to think it, who in the WORLD would actually try it?? This guy is obviously in need of some therapy and may want to consider the possibility of not drinking again in the future if he is going to blame drunken stupor for this outrageous act. I mean I know Russians make good vodka... but seriously??

Is it the Hippocratic Oath or the Hypocrite Oath?

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 16:36:00 +0000

We have all heard of the Hippocratic Oath. It's the oath that we have always thought of doctors taking. However, according to Wikipedia, it is no longer obligatory or taken by all physicians. Maybe that is why Dr. Christopher Thompson of Brentwood, California felt he was justified in his decision to teach two cyclists "a lesson". I suppose he was one of those doctors who didn't take the oath. Or maybe he just assumed that since these cyclists were not his patients, he didn't have to apply the oath to this situation. Because that is an oath to "do no harm" and I am pretty sure that driving down the road and slamming on your brakes in front of two cyclists had some harm intended. This decision on the part of a 59 year old physician, caused one cyclist to be thrown through the cars rear window and the other to land on theh pavement. As a result of this incident, he is being charged with several felony charges including reckless driving and battery. Apparently, this incident is not the doctor's first run in with cyclist. The LA Times reports that he has attempted to do the same thing to other cyclists.

I could not help but be shocked when I read this article the first time. Just plain old human ethics should keep someone from doing something like this. I can understand the fact that some of these cyclists do ride as if they "own the road". I do understand that it can become frustrating. I don't understand waging war against them in your car. It is not a fair battle. He could have killed these men. This is a man who has promised to preserve life and instead he has put it in harms way. Are we really that angry? Are we really that in need of emotional release? Take a martial arts class, lift some weights, write blogs where you bitch about all the things that make you mad... do something... but not this.

I am sure the California doctor has a good lawyer and it looks like he is sticking to his plea of "not guilty" as of now. The trial is set for March 6th... which I am sure they will delay 15 times... Man, I would love to be the lawyer on the other side of this trial. Of course, before I can do that, I will need to learn how to control my own anger because what I would really want to do is walk across the court room and just knock that hypocrite upside his head. :)

Need a Gift Idea?

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 21:07:00 +0000

You ever have that person that is just impossible to buy for? Maybe Oilfield Jewelry is just what you are looking for. Growing up in South Louisiana, there were a lot of the oilfield worker types. Both of my sisters were either married on in a long term relationship with those types. I suppose if I would not have gotten married so young, I probably would have ended up dating one of those too. And I suppose, if I had, then I might understand how cool it would be to have a sterling silver drill bit charm or a tiny drill bit earring. And I suppose I wouldn't mind spending a lonely Friday night with a six pack of beer and a CD of the Oilfield Cowboy. I also suppose I would understand the humor behind a hard hat label that says "Its a total nipple up" with a topless girl on it.

Now, knowing these oilfield guys, I can tell you that most all of them could do well by stopping in at the Oilfield Bible Fellowship Church. There are a lot of sins to be forgiven with those guys! Possibly they could all get together and sing some roughneck songs.

You are probably wondering how in the world I ended up on these pages. Well, I have an explanation... sort of. You see, I use GMAIL and in GMAIL, they give you what is called "web clips" along the top of your inbox. Some of the the clips are things like quotes and some are website "advertisements". They are typically based on the subjects of your emails. So, for instance, if someone sent me an email and in the body of the email asked me about recipes for spaghetti, it is quite possible that I will get a web clip that shows a link for spaghetti recipes. It is actually a pretty cool concept and I try to make a habit of clicking the links that catch my attention. (After all, GMail is free and I really like it and I would really like to keep it that way.) So, I am not exactly sure what email I got that caused the web clip for "Oilfield Jewelry" to show up on the top of my email, but nonetheless, I clicked it. Once I was there I was trapped by some odd sense of curiousity. I can't help but wonder, if my brother-in-law, the die hard oilfield worker, was still alive... would he be really excited about this?

The End of the 30th Year

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 02:47:00 +0000

Okay, so tomorrow I turn 31. What better thing to do than to write a blog recognizing all the glory of my 30th year. Let me think about that for a second...

...

........

............................

well, okay... maybe I should talk about the how glorious my 31st year is going to be. :)

Seriously, for all the craziness that my 29th year brought me, my 30th was relatively calm. I began the year as a college graduate and I am ending it applying for law school. I began the year in a fairly new relationship and I am ending it in the same relationship that is stronger than I ever could have imagined. I began the year in a job that I thought for sure I would be walking out on any day and I am ending it working for the same company about to move into a position that I am really excited about. I began the year scared about what my future will hold and I am ending it... well, I am still scared... Hey, 3 out of 4 ain't bad, right??

So, what's the big deal about turning 31 anyway? I will tell you what... I will officially be "in my thirties". Think about that for a second. Up through the age of 29, I was "in my 20s" which was great, especially when I could get away with that at 29. When I turned 30, I was just that... 30. But now, now I will be 31 and I will be "in my 30s" which is a description that I just can't believe. I mean really? How is that possible? How does time go so quickly? My son, he just turned 9. He will be 10 by the end of this year... 10. In double digits. Where did time go?

I know what you are all thinking... what a dumb blog Jen... do you think you are the only person to feel this way? NO! I don't! But I am the one who writes the blogs and so I can write about whatever I want and at this moment, I want to write about the fact that I can't freaking believe I am going to be 31 tomorrow. I can't believe that it is 2009 and that we just put our first African American President in the White House. I can't believe that I am going to start law school in the fall and I can't believe that my little brother is a college graduate and that my niece is going to be a mom. There is an entire list of things I can't believe, but on the top of that at this very moment is that I am having a birthday tomorrow and it doesn't even feel like it. It feels too soon... Hell, I still can't believe that Christmas came and went - I never even put up a tree!

BLINK! And there it goes. Wow. Okay, I figure I should end this particular post here and change gears so that this doesn't turn into a completely rambling blog. Until the next topic tickles my fancy....

Blog Topics

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 00:32:00 +0000

Okay, so I am in this "write like crazy" mode. I want to write all the time. I have been writing a lot on my personal blog/journal, but that is mainly mindless ramblings from my mind where I over think everything in my life. I started this creative blog with the idea of writing on more random topics. I am thinking of starting a story line - sort of like a short story - but at this very moment, I am sitting at a Starbucks staring at my screen and waiting for the time to meet my friend for a little girl time and so my time is limited. I did a few google searches... "Conversation Starters" and "Blog Topic Ideas". The latter found a few good ideas, sites worth bookmarking that I might come back to. I have been trying to peruse more websites lately to read editorials, new stories, etc to help my mind go. I don't want to write about something someone else already wrote about. I more am hoping that something I see will trigger another memory or another story line or some insane emotion that will give me the burst I need.

In the past, when I get to this point with writing, I have a tendency to just stop. This time, I am trying to push through that urge and just keep writing something, even if it is mindless and dumb. I am just trying to keep my fingers moving and my mind churning so that maybe, just maybe I will launch into some great writing frenzy. In the meantime, send me some ideas!! Give me a topic, ask me a question, whatever! I was laughing just last night about how people I know (personally and professionaly) tend to ask me questions all the time without even taking the time to attempt to think of the answer themselves. The funniest thing about that is that it is not like I am a walking encyclopedia of knowledge or super intelligent - I simply am able to quickly scan what I know for a fact, what I have heard, and what I assume to be true - and give an answer that makes them happy (or at least gives them an answer). The joke was that I should start my own advice column - like "Just Ask Jen". Maybe if I get enough blog topics and questions, I will change the name of this site to exactly that.

Let me clarify something - I don't want to turn this blog into a political rant, unless I am feel like ranting about politics. I don't want to turn this blog into a relationship advice site, unless I feel like talking about relationships. I don't want to talk about the weather, unless it is unreasonably crappy weather and it is putting me in a foul mood. I am not the deep writer, full of big words and long exhaustingly sentences. I typically write to engage myself and my readers. I like to make people laugh so the typical blog will have a funny twist no matter how depressing the topic.

So send me some ideas... post a comment to the blog, send me an email.... come on... Just Ask Jen!!! :)

The First Kiss

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:48:00 +0000

There was a news story out about six months ago about the singer Fergie and the actor Mario Lopez where Mario told newspapers that Fergie was his first kiss. They met on the set of the popular 80's show Kid's Incorporated. For whatever reason, this became a topic of discussion in the office last week which got us on the topic of "Would you marry your first kiss?" I actually have one friend from high school who did that - and they have been married for over ten years now. I started scraping back through my foggy memories of childhood - I clearly remember my first kiss - but I want to cheat a little and not count him. The first boy I kissed was a friend of my sister and the only reason I kissed him was because he was being nice to me and flirting with me to keep me entertained so that I wouldn't tell my mom that my sister had boys over while she was gone. As they all went to leave, and all the teen couples were kissing, my sister's friend thought it would be great to taunt me into kissing that boy. So, amid shouts of things like "Just open your mouth and put your tongue in!" I had my first kiss. That one doesn't count, I don't think - because it was not really of my own accord. Besides, if I had to bet money on it... that boy is most likely in jail or has at least spent a considerable amount of time there. So there are no funny stories and the answer to the question here would be a quick and decisive NO.

So I move on to the first boy I kissed on my own - alone - without the pressure of others. Now this boy - there are at least a couple of funny stories here. His name was Brad. I lived in apartments and he lived in the neighborhood right behind us. He moved there over the summer and his mom was a school teacher at another elementary school and so he was going to school with her instead of with all the kids he lived near. I am not sure why he liked me specifically. There were lots of girls our age in the apartments and I don't think I was especially flirty or anything. Our first kiss was while we were sitting on top of the swingset in the playground of the apartments. I remember thinking that he seemed so nervous I thought he might fall off and then I would have just laughed at him. It was a sweet kiss. Short, not sloppy... just sweet.

Brad's mom loved me to death. She would let me come over every day and do homework with Brad. We were allowed to stay in his room for hours without her even peeping in. Don't get me wrong - we were very well behaved. Most of the time we were actually doing homework or watching TV or just talking about whatever 5th graders find interesting (for the life of me I have no idea what that is). At some point, about 2 months into the school year, his mom transferred him into my school - and guess what - he was put in MY class! Now let me explain a small childhood victory to you. In all of my childhood and high school years, Brad was the only boy I really remember dating that actually went to school with me. As a matter of fact, he may be the reason I never dated anyone who went to school with me - but I will get to that shortly. He was a cutie! Blond hair, big blue eyes, olive colored skin that looked like he had just been to the beach, pouty lips and a dimple on one of his cheeks. As he was shown into the classroom immediately the whispers started from the girls in the room. No one in my class knew he was my boyfriend and so my heart was pounding out of my chest. For a minute, I was nervous that he might decide he didn't want to be my boyfriend any more because he might like one of the other girls in my class better. But all my worries faded away when he walked down the aisle, smilied at me and ran his hand across my shoulder as he passed. I immediately began to tell the curious girls around me his whole story - how he was transferring from another school, how he lived right behind me, and how he was MY boyfriend. It is hands down one of the best "victories" I can remember in my younger years.

Life was good for a while. Time frames elude me, but I think it was about a month later when his mom took me shopping at the local Wal-Mart with them. She needed to pick up a few things and I tagged along for the ride. While there, we passed a rack of local tourism clothing that supported our community and our state. As we passed, his mom's eye caught on this red t-shirt that said "Somebody in Louisiana Loves Me" in big black letters, with a heart in place of the word love. She thought it would be super cute if she got two of those t-shirts, one for me and one for Brad. She really did see us as the cutest thing ever. Thinking back to the way she saw me, I wish I could remember more about what I was like at that time. Anyhow, after tossing those shirts in the basket and continue down the aisle, her eye was once more drawn to another rack. Bicycle shorts. Oh - don't laugh - they were cool back then. Go back to the beginning of this blog and click on the Kids Incorporated link and you will see! Well, she found bicycle shorts that were black with red and yellow stripes down the side that just went perfectly with the t-shirts. She just had to buy us those too! So here we were with matching outfits. Now, at the time - we thought it was very cool. We are were already planning (against what later would seem to be better judgment) to wear them to school the next day.

So, the next morning, we met at the bus stop in our matching outfits and waited for the bus while holding hands. Were we not just the cutest thing? I will say that our friends who caught the bus at the same stop thought it was just as cute and kept telling us how lucky we were that his mom bought that for us. I believe it was on the bus ride, as I heard a couple of hushed comments from some kids sitting behind us that I started to think this wasn't such a good idea. I believe Brad had the same idea based on his tense posture and his lack of silliness on the ride to school. We arrived and I decided I would just suck it up. It was only one day - I could survive anything for one day.

The first half of the day was not so bad. A couple of sarcastic "awww - aren't you two so cute" comments from classmates was about the worst of it. But then it was lunch time. We headed to the cafeteria and then out to the playground. The school I went to had only two grades - 5th and 6th. We were in 5th, therefore we were the "freshmen". In 6th grade, there were the "Andreas". There were two of them - best friends and just as mean and snotty as you could imagine. They had a couple of other friends, but the two Andreas were the ones you always heard from.

Let me paint you a little picture of what I looked like in 5th grade. Actually, I can do one better - I have a picture.

From Old Family Photos

What you can't really see in that picture is how damn skinny I was. I had no curves, no hips, no anything. I was just a tall, skinny rail of a kid. My legs were like twigs. This is where the problem came in - with those damn skinny legs. You see, bicycle shorts, by the pure nature of them, are meant to be fitted shorts used for cycling. However, when you are my age, have no meat on your bones, but are still required to buy a size that allows for the shorts to be long enough to wear to school - you end up with loose bicycle shorts.

This is where the Andreas come in. As we were walking out to the playground, slightly more confident since the morning had not been so bad, we passed the Andreas. I am pretty sure one of them said somthing like "OH - MY - GOD!" or some other colloquialism from those days. I tensed again. Here it comes. So the typical laughter and thinks like "Isn't that cute?" and "Look - they match!" came from behind as they followed us out to the playground. That is when one of the Andreas noticed - I was wearing bicycle shorts, and they were loose. "Hey, aren't those tights supposed to be TIGHT?" Rolls of laughter started behind me. That is where the chant began. The Andreas (and I am sure a few of their evil friends) began chanting "Your tights are loose, your tights are loose" in this sort of schoolyard rap version of hazing. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die. That was the longest recess of my life - the longest day for that matter. I also believe that was the beginning of the decline of my first relationship. You see, for some reason - I was mad at HIM for this whole situation. After all, it was HIS mom who had bought these stupid outfits for us in the first place!

I ran inside after getting off the bus and peeled those clothes off so fast you would have thought they were on fire. I think I shoved them in the bottom of my closet or something. I can't be positive of where they ended up, but I can be positive that I NEVER wore them again. After that day, as you would imagine, the chants didn't stop. "Your tights are loose" was now a favorite song of a lot of my classmates. It seemed that the only way I could disassociate myself with that song was to break up with Brad. I needed something to distract people. Evidently, so did he. His distraction tactic was slightly different. He started telling anyone who would listen that him and I were engaging in hot and heavy make out sessions at my house after school. He even went so far as to tell people he had gotten to second base and almost to third but my mom came home. I was FURIOUS. Sure, we had kissed several times by this point, but they were always the same short and sweet kisses - nothing more.

This gave me the ammo I needed - we were over. I broke up with him after school, in the same playground, sitting on top of the same swingset where we had our first kiss. So naturally, being a stinky, rotten boy... he had to go to school and tell his own version of the story. He said that we had to break up because his mom caught us in his bed with my shirt off. THE NERVE. We are inside for recess that day because it had been raining and our teacher was out of the classroom. As Brad sat in his desk, I stood up, leaned across the aisle and started yelling at him about telling lies and that I was going to kick his butt. You know what he did? He pulled my hair! He grabbed a handful of my long blond hair and just pulled for all it was worth - and didn't let go. As I was struggling to regain my balance - there was a desk between him and I that I was practically being pulled on top of - my hero, a boy by the name of Robbie who had a crush on me since the 4th grade, came running over and punched Brad straight in the nose! Brad immediately let go of my hair, grabbed his nose and in a whiny voice wailed, "Why'd you have to hit me, Robbie?" to which the classroom rolled with laughter.

The teacher came in, brought both boys outside and tried to regain order in the classroom. I think both Robbie and Brad got detention and I somehow came out of it as a superstar. Well, maybe not a superstar, but at least as the cool girl who had a boy hit another boy just to protect her. The best part? The new chant on the bus, in the classroom and on the playground was now a unified, whiny version of "Why'd you have to hit me, Robbie?". No more "Your tights are loose!"

Brad and I no longer spoke after that. I moved the summer after that so we didn't live near each other any more but when 6th grade started and he was nowhere to be seen, I found out from a friend who still lived near him that he had been enrolled in the Catholic school in town. I have no idea if this had something to do with me or the torment he received or if it was just something his mother had planned all along - but either way, he was gone and the memories of the "Somebody in Louisiana Loves Me" outfit were far behind me.

So, coming back around to the original question, "Would I marry my first kiss?" the funny thing is, in a lot of ways, I think I did! As I recalled this story, I saw a lot of similarities in the personality of Brad and of my ex-husband. Brad and I spent one year in school together again in high school. We didn't talk or hang out, but we did have a couple of classes together and I could see his personality and remembered thinking how shy he had seemed then compared to the way he was in 5th grade. Somehow, he had grown more introverted. And unfortunately for him, Robbie (the boxer) was still around and remembered him the moment he saw him which started another, although short lived, round of "Why'd you have to hit me Robbie?"

I am sure Brad turned out to be a nice guy. Probably middle of the road sort of worker bee - nothing out of the ordinary, nothing too risky or daring. I like to think he learned his lesson about lying about girls. And for the life of me, I wish I could remember his last name and find him on MySpace or Facebook - I would love to send him an email with the subject of "Your Tights Are Loose" and nothing else and see how quickly this whole story comes back to him!!!

I'm Bored

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:35:00 +0000

I have been spending a lot of time recently with my boyfriend and his teenage son and I have learned one of most popular phrases in the teenage vocabulary is "I'm Bored". Now, I don't know how many people who will read this have had the luxury of spending time with 13 year old kids these days, but it seems that being "bored" is a common theme among adolescents these days. Just the other day I was watching an episode of Two and A Half Men where Jake, the teenage boy, was grounded from basically everything. After being given his punishment, his dad tells him to go find something to do that he isn't punished from. He sulks out of the room only to return less than three seconds later saying, "I'm Bored." Now, if you haven't been around this generation recently, you may laugh and think that it is being over-exaggerated. It's not.

Now, I don't know if it is that they are genuinely bored or if it is that in today's world, they find so much stimulation from so many sources (video games, computers, MySpace, Facebook, television, movies, cell phones, text messages, etc) that having even two minutes of time where their mind is not being used seems like eternity to them. I guess this is where being an avid reader pays off. You see, I am never bored. Even in the times where I feel there is absolutely nothing to do, I can grab a book. Thanks to the invention of the Kindle, if I don't like the book I am reading, I can simply download a new one without even getting out of my chair. I get to occupy my mind in someone else's real or imagined world. I think the ability to read for entertainment is something that is sadly slipping through society's fingers. All of our technology allows us to get information fed to us visually and audibly with no real imagination required.

I had a conversation with my 9 year old son the other day where I reminded him about the the time he learned how to sing Silent Night in sign language. He tried to explain to me how he didn't remember how to do that anymore because he didn't really need to know sign language since he didn't know anyone who couldn't hear. I tried to get him to imagine that one day, he could meet someone who had a lot of cool stories to share, maybe another kid who liked to play all the same video games as him and that if he still knew and understood sign language, he could communicate with that child about the things they both enjoyed. His response, "Pfft, like I am EVER going to meet any one like that!" I could not get him to imagine with me this one possibility. It's no surprise to me then when I try to get him to read a book these days. "Books are boring," he says. "They are all full of fake stories and just a bunch of words." I have tried to explain to him that when you read the words, you make the movies in your head. He wants no part of it. He used to love to read when he was younger. He would sit in his room for an hour or more reading the books on his bookshelf. Recently, when faced with the fact that his bedroom is becoming overcrowded he announced that it would be "fine to take out his bookshelf because he never reads anyway." UGH.

And so, what I fear is that I too will be innundated with thousands of "I'm Bored" statements coming from my own son in the coming years. It appears that as part of the new millenium, we need to add a new chapter to that ever helpful Parenting Manual titled "How To Entertain Your Child 24/7". Until that comes out, I think I will just pretend that I am hearing impaired and only respond in sign... who knows, that might help to spark his imagination again.

Just want to have fun :)

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:58:00 +0000

I know what you are all thinking... Jennifer can not possibly be starting yet another blog! But I am!! I have my family and friends blog, but that is basically a "life" blog. I will continue to write on that one to talk about the things that are going on in my life. But lately, I have found myself consumed with the desire to do some "creative writing" such as short stories, poetry, and just plain silliness about whatever I feel the need for. Previously, I have done this sort of writing in my own private journals and blogs - those that I don't share with anyone. But some of my biggest fans love to read the creative silliness I come up with so I thought I would just start another blog and add some of you to the email list that gets the blog updates. Blogger now has a new feature that lets me add up to ten email addresses to the automatic send email so I am not sure what this will look like when you get it. I imagine it is just going to look like an email from "A Girl In the World". If you reply to the email, you will be emailing me directly. If you would like to visit the original blog site (or share the site with anyone) the address would be http://creativesideofjen.blogspot.com/

Feel free to share the site with anyone and watch for some creative blurbs in the very near future. I am pretty sure that I will use this one more than anything else because it is sort of a "no rules" blog that I can write as little or as much as I want and pretty much just have creative freedom. I am really excited about this one. Feel free to suggest topic ideas as well. I do my best writing "on demand".

Enjoy the Creative Side of Jen!!

Coming Soon...

noreply@blogger.com (A Girl In The World) — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 23:23:00 +0000

Musings from the creative mind of Jen.