The CRM Copywriter

How to lose more customers than you win.

2007-10-30T14:30:00.001-04:00

I just went to an email seminar given by Campaigner and BrightWave Marketing. Learned a great deal about relevancy and email marketing. I also got a few good resources for more information. But that is not the purpose of this blog.

At the seminar I sat next to the owner of a small e-commerce company. Upon getting home I visited the Web site and saw an offer in a small banner at the top of the page: 10% off to residents of North and South Carolina.

I live in New York. I was in New York.

Now this may have been a failed attempt to target by IP address. Or they may have been advertising in North and South Carolina. If it's the former, there's nothing I can say but test, test, test. If it's the latter, a separate landing page for the promotion is probably in order.

Now, here's another idea for a home page promotion. This site's product is one that I would buy for my home. Maybe offer that discount in areas being hit by the San Diego wildfires. Open the offer up to any area that's eligible for FEMA relief. Turn it into a form of cause related marketing.

Just a thought. Now let me get back to work.

Congratulations, you just married a great guy. Me.

2007-10-08T12:31:00.000-04:00

A little while back I saw a couple of concepts for a "getting started with your new service" letter. The headline on one letter said, "Welcome to Name Service." On the other it said, "Congratulations, you now have Name Service."

It's easy to see how a product-focused company might congratulate a customer for all the wonderful benefits the new product will provide. But a customer may think, I just gave you my money and you respond with "congratulations on picking me?"

This is a bit like the groom telling his bride how lucky she is. How long will the marriage last?

On the other hand:

"Welcome."
"Thank you for your business."
"We look forward to being of service."
"Here's how to use our service."
"Let us know if there's anything we can do."

I believe that is how a customer-focused company gets a relationship off on the right foot. And if the sentiments are sincere, the customer relationship may last longer than some marriages.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

2007-08-02T10:45:00.000-04:00

I was brainstorming a list of ways to make a thank work harder. Then it turned up in my inbox, an announcement of a Vertical Response blog entry titled Are You Under-Utilizing-Your Thank You Page. They cite seven things you can do.

Friend Get A Friend (ask happy customers to refer others, maybe even incentivize them)
Cross Sell (especially related products or add-ons)
Tips (for getting the most out of the product)
Product Tour (if you have a product video or tutorial, show it here)
Customer Support Information (phone numbers, hours, etc.)
Advertising (monetize the thank you page with Google adwords; I don't recommend this for big brands)
Tell Your Story (Make people feel good about the purchase)

The last one especially presents an opportunity to reinforce the brand and even have some fun. For an example, let me direct you to another blog, Media Post's E-mail Insider. The blogger, Melinda Krueger, cites an confirmation/thank you email from CDBaby.com. I urge you to check out the post for yourself, but I have to say that I especially admire the way they worked a simple "shipped date" into the following.

...the whole party marched down the street to the post office, where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Tuesday, July 10.

If you work on big brands, you can probably imagine the suits saying, "transactional emails need to deliver information, not fluff." You can hear the dreaded literalist saying, "we don't have a private CD Baby jet." And face it, most brands, especially the big ones, will not let you go so far over the top as CD Baby.

But it's still well worth a few extra words to use your "thank you" to add any value you can to your brand.

Getting the relationship off to a great start.

2007-07-24T10:15:00.000-04:00

A while back I was doing some intelligence for a client and I came across a survey on IBM's Web site. It was one of those surveys that ask a little bit about my infrastructure and a lot about my decision making authority and budget. The carrot: a coupon good for a free Blockbuster movie rental and some cable ties.

I imagined that offer emerging from one of those meetings where one stakeholder says the offer has to have personal appeal and another says it has to be business related. So in the end they decide to make it both a dessert topping and a floor wax. But the fulfillment package told a different story.

It showed up in a small box. "A box?" I thought. "How many cable ties did they send me?"

Not many, it turned out. The box contained the requisite thank you letter, a clear envelope with three cable ties, an envelope with the Blockbuster coupon, and the classic "surprise and delight." A never-offered, never-promised bag of Microwave popcorn. The popcorn bag was custom printed with "Here's your free Blockbuster movie rental. "Enjoy the show."

I showed it to a friend who just nodded his head and said, this is really smart. "IBM just told you that they're a company that overdelivers."

About two weeks later I received an e-newsletter from that same group at IBM. I read every word of it.

"Create all these ads?" That's only half the problem.

2007-07-18T09:54:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week on his Publishing 2.0 blog, Scott Karp wrote The Scalability Problem in online advertising models. He joins others in pointing out, "Data-driven digital media, with platforms like behavioral targeting, make it possible, in theory, to show a different ad to each person in each medium, each time they interact with that advertising." But unlike other pundits, he also notes, "yikes, that's a lot of work."

To quote an earlier post of his, "Who's going to create all these ads?"

I frankly think that's the least of the problem. Direct marketers have been versioning and personalizing templates since the advent of databases and laser printers. The real issue as I see it, is that the more complex the system gets, the more opportunities you have for error.

About a dozen years ago, one of those much-hated monopolistic Baby Bells decided to send customized retention letters to high-value customers. To produce these letters, we created about 20 copy blocks to describe new product and service initiatives. The technology team designed systems to read survey results, identify and prioritize customer concerns, choose choose 3-5 of of our copy blocks and put them in the appropriate order.

Do the math and you'll see that this simple approach allowed us to create hundreds of thousands of unique letters. Pretty heady stuff for it's day.

More important, these catalog-like copy blocks gained and emotional context from the opening and closing paragraphs that surrounded them. These copy blocks became proof points. They assured satisfied customers that we were not sitting still, promised dissatisfied customers that the company was improving.

But someone dropped the QA. The most satisfied customers got letters telling them that thousands of customers shared their dissatisfaction and the problems would be addressed. Fortunately, not too many of those letters went out. The vast majority of the letters went to the most unhappy, most angry customers. These letters promised this group, "more of what you've come to expect from us."

These days it's relatively easy to create millions of unique ads. Getting them right and delivering them properly is the challenge.

Remember AD CLUB without the vowels.

2007-07-13T16:08:00.000-04:00

You're at a wedding, bar mitzvah, or barbecue when your unemployable cousin asks you about technologies to deliver relevant, targeted advertising. Horror of horror, you can't remember the buzzwords. That's probably because you, like me, have a memory that needs acronyms to operate. There's just no way to remember any list that doesn't have a vowel or two to make the initials into a word. So as a service to my readers, I created the AD CLUB. Drop the vowels and you'll be able to remember:

Demographics: Age. Gender. Income. In the bad old days of advertising, agencies would compile this information and sell to the lowest stereotypical denominator. Now creative people can build a messaging framework and craft benefits to work with any slicing and dicing of the data. I've actually versioned communications for home-based mining companies.
Context: This how Google makes their zillions. Their spiders read Web pages so their ad servers can deliver relevant messages. A client once sent a note to my G-mail about landing pages and Google offered me dating services. I guess the spiders thought I was trying to land a page.
Location: Today, you Google a recipe for Alfredo sauce and an ad for a local Italian restaurant shows up in the results. Not bad. Tomorrow, you won't be able to walk past a McDonald's without a coupon for Happy Meals coming to your cell phone.
Behavior: Built on the theory that what you do is more important than who you are, what you're doing, and where you're doing it. New advertising engines will know that you spent the morning researching cars. Later that afternoon, they'll feed you a car ad while you're reading about stocks or window shades.

That's the list for now. If I've missed anything, please click on the comments section and let my readers know. I'm also sure more are on the way.

But in the mean time, the next time you're at a wedding, bar mitzvah, barbecue, or even a client meeting, remember AD CLUB without the vowels. Right now each initial represents a different platform, but they will soon enough merge. Whether this represents a Nirvana or a nightmare depends on whether you're a marketer or a privacy advocate.

But if you're a consumer, you'll probably just want to know why all those girls near the Northeast corner of 34th and 6th are suddenly dying to meet you. Could it be that you stopped in front of the Victoria's Secret window display there today? Could it be that you read an email off your mobile device there? Was it that email about landing pages?

Increase C-SAT for 10¢

2007-07-10T21:19:00.001-04:00

Some time ago, I saw some frightfully low Customer Satisfaction (C-SAT) scores for a software subscription service. The service cost about $600, not enough to bust a budget, but certainly not so cheap as to get a quick tic-of-the-check-box approval. Among other things, the subscription included monthly US Postal Service mailings of trial software, Betas, updates, and other digital assets.

One day I got to experience a mailing like a customer. The small cardboard box showed up with no corporate ID on the mailing label. Just an address that I assume belonged to the fulfillment house. The shipping label was wrapped halfway around the box so it could double as packing tape. Everything about this mailing shouted "cheap." Once I got inside, I found three sleeves with three properly-labeled DVDs. Nothing more.

If I had the authority I would have bet my company's fees that we could improve C-SAT just by adding even a quickly thrown-together letter like this:

Dear Subscriber:

Thank you for choosing to receive Houseware Software Updates.

As you probably know, we'll be launching Schoolware V19.95 this fall, so this month's subscription mailing includes a DVD with the final Beta. It features fixes to reported hem and seam splits plus improved color coordination. We invite you to test the new Beta and share your experiences or issues in the user forum at schoolware.houseware.com/yakityyak

We've also included important Windows updates. We hope you'll deploy them quickly to better insulate your environment and make it more energy efficient. Note that deployment can be less time-consuming with Handyman V6.07. A trial edition, specially enhanced for subscribers like you, is also in this month's mailing.

Additional software packages are available for download at subscriber.houseware.com. This site also features special, moderated, subscriber-only forums with guaranteed response time to support issues in 24-hours or less.

We hope you take advantage of our Website, software, and other services. Thank you again for subscribing to Houseware Updates.

Sincerely
Real Person's Name

You'll notice my model letter says "Dear Subscriber," not "Dear Personalized." Keeping it generic keeps costs down to about the dime I suggested in the headline. More importantly, a personalized letter would create huge database issues as you tried to print uniquely relevant letters for thousands of subscribers every month. Not impossible, assuming you had a buck or two to invest in the letter, but probably not necessary.

Why not? Because I would bet that if you focus-grouped a package like this, most would say that they never read the letter and throw it right in the trash. If that's true (and IMHO, that's a big "if"), a quarter-second glance at any paragraph would still communicate a customer benefit or value proposition. Unless, of course, the customer's eye happened to go to the first paragraph or last.

Those simply say, "thank you for being a customer."