The Crooked Feed

MDMAster

Paul — Fri, 25 May 2012 22:03:07 +0000

Did you know that whoremaster is a word? Seriously, check it out. First known use: 14th century. Awesome.

I’ve been playing Ghost Recon: Future Soldier. It is very much like Splinter Cell: Conviction. That’s not a horrible thing, but it’s a thing. Possibly an unexpected thing. An unexpectedly horrible thing.

See, I hate fail states. I hate trial and error if I have to look at a load screen that lasts more than a millisecond. This is why Trials HD and Trials: Evolution are good games. You get to try again immediately.

When Future Soldier says I fail, after slowly and carefully clearing an area with my squad, just because one sniper (one that I would likely never see unless I had already failed) sees a dead body? Mix a long load screen in to that shit and BOOYA! Game-I’m-Not-Playin-Soup.

Block Buster

Paul — Thu, 17 May 2012 22:35:21 +0000

Carter and I have both been addicted to Minecraft since it came out on XBLA. I know that it has been around forever on the PC, and that that version is vastly superior. Well, I’m happy to report that I’m ruining my life just fine with this version.

Figured it could ruin the comic for a minute too. You know, since the gremlins live underground. Now, if you’ll excuse me, theres a giant boner made of dirt that isn’t going to build itself.

*runs to xbox to play*

*falls down stairs*

*breaks neck*

*stacks shoes before dying*

Achluophobia

Paul — Mon, 07 May 2012 22:39:11 +0000

Do you like the comics? Then boy do I have a movies for you!

Go see Avengers. It’s really fun. Joss Whedon, yo.

Riders On The Storm

Paul — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 01:33:57 +0000

What’s up, y’all. Sorry for the lack of post(s) last week. I was out of town. I meant to put something up beforehand but, you know… life and shit.

Anyway, here’s a bonus thingy I made a little while ago that shows more of the clouds I’ve been making with a new brush I’ve been using. I’m a fan. I’m also a fan of Xenoblade Chronicles, which is where these characters come from.

F*ck you, Riki.

Aperient

Paul — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 23:27:55 +0000

I have been playing ALL the video games. Right as I was feeling like I didn’t really want to play anything other than Street Fighter or Call of Duty…

BAM!!

Xenoblade Chronicles!

Skullgirls!

Devil May Cry 3!!

That last one gets 2 exclamations because I LOVE IT. I missed it. It had been what… 7 years!? Crazy. I played that game so much the disc broke. True story. Actually… I think it broke my roommate’s PS2. Yep. I’m remembering it now. Here’s what happened. I flipped out and threw the whole rig out the window cuz GODDAMN WAS THE END HARD.

Butreallywhatanawesomegame

Xenoblade Chronicles is also very much worth checking out if you want to feel like you’re playing a lost RPG gem from the Super NES era. I’m getting whiffs of Chrono Trigger level greatness from it. It smells like chicken. Wait… my neighbor’s cooking. But what the hell?!…

Hustle And Bustle

Paul — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 01:30:29 +0000

I wish I had all the time and energy in the world to do these sometimes. But enough about that. You guys realize we made it, right? We’re finally back to Star Wars being awesome.

I know, I know. It’s crazy.

It was the right move. They… I… I’m sorry. I’m trying to write something funny about this shit, but I have the video playing while typing this. I… I mean, WHAT THE FUCK.

Block and Bridge

Paul — Tue, 27 Mar 2012 00:08:18 +0000

Here is an update.

Resident Evil: Raccoon City Butt-ache orwhateverthehellit’scalled has the worst multiplayer I’ve ever played. I’m actually suggesting you try it just to see what I’m talking about. If you like your 3rd person shooters to feature lackluster gunplay, enemies with a million health points, and the ability to catch somebody in an infinite melee combo like this was Marvel vs. Capcom, look no further.

Seriously, I knifed the same guy for about a minute straight, the whole time he was just going through a stumble animation, over and over, caught in the corner. Finally, he said, “I don’t feel so good.”

I put on my jetpack and flew out of the big, gaping hole where the good game was supposed to be.

Bizarre Incantation

Paul — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 18:02:00 +0000

Smile ye nubs, for I have brought unto you the stupids. Rejoice in their being. Wallow in your butts.

I dunno.

Whatever.

Street Fighter X Dressing

Paul — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 01:46:12 +0000

For those who do not know, Street Fighter X Tekken (that’s “Street Fighter Cross Tekken”) released today. It features a controversial gem system whereby players choose gems that will activate extra attributes once certain conditions have been met. An example of this would be +10 to movement speed after you get hit by two enemy special attacks (or something like that). So now you get the joke. Moving on.

I’m a big fan of Capcom’s signature series, and was really excited for this release because it would be new to everyone. Getting in day one means that I could grow my skills right alongside the rest on the online community.

Unfortunately, the online issues that plague some new releases are present here. Sound effects drop at random, which is surprisingly distracting when you are trying to hit-confirm, and I’ve found lag to be a major issue. Considering the fact…

The Familiar Four

Paul — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 16:35:40 +0000

Y’all remember the Omni-Goo, right?

Either way, here’s a comic with a big ol’ boner in it. Enjoy.