Guest Blog Written By: Danyel Buie, Event Planner Extraordinaire

Memorial Day is the official beginning to the summer season! School’s out and the pools are open. What better way to celebrate the long weekend than with a fun gathering with friends and family?

On a day reserved for the remembrance of our patriotic heroes who sacrificed their lives for our freedom, a patriotic celebration is the way to go. Here are some ideas to help get you started:

• Red, White and Blue isn’t just for the 4^th of July anymore! This color theme helps us remember our veterans and there’s no symbol more fitting than the American flag. Flags are now designed to be placed specifically on decks, picnic tables and even in your yard. Remember if you choose to fly an American flag, it must fly at half-mast until the noon hour on Memorial Day in your time zone.

• Another great way to carry the patriotic theme and color scheme is through balloons, flowers, tableware ( Red, white, and blue paper plates, plastic utensils, napkins, cups, etc.) and décor. Don’t forget the confetti!

• Lighting is a must for any celebration-Strands of red, white and blue fairy lights in trees and bushes around your party area will make for a cool evening glow as the sun goes down.

• Use foods that keep in the theme of Memorial Day. Red and white colored Jell-o, cupcakes, cookies, etc. make the environment festive and fun!

• Keep the mood celebratory with patriotic music. Songs like My Country Tis of Thee, The Star Spangled Banner, This Land is Your Land, and others get everyone in a celebratory spirit. You can use an iPod or laptop to play the music inside the house or on the patio or entertaining area.

• Have a table set up the kids who are attending with paper, and red, white, and blue paint or finger paints. Let the kids make their own flags or other patriotic artwork and display them hanging on a clothes line or in a special drying area. It makes for great scenery, and the kids have plenty of fun!

No matter how you choose to spend your Memorial Day weekend, enjoy the time with friends and family and have fun making memories that will last for years to come.

Happy Memorial Day!

I am a HUGE Chaka Khan fan and have been since I was a little girl. My parents were really into music so I grew up listening to so many different types of sounds. Rufus and Chaka Khan were always in heavy rotation on my mom’s record player. Tell Me Something Good, Sweet Thing, and I’m Every Woman were tunes that I would two-step to while my mom would play it during our Saturday cleaning house activities. Chaka was (and still is) a part of my life, musically!

So when I saw her a few weeks ago in some pictures that surfaced online, my jaw dropped. Chaka had battled drug abuse in recent years and was a little heavier than she used to be. But girlfriend was looking flawless and super svelte. My jaw dropped. She looked like she had dropped major weight.

And when more pictures were showcased on her Facebook page of her on the red carpet at an event as well as during her performance on the American Idol finale, I instantly looked at my stomach and sucked it in. Chaka, at age 59, is killin’ em! She’s making my 36 year old tail look geriatric.

Chaka, what is your weight loss secret, girl?

With all of these celebrities making major dough with weight loss campaigns (see Mariah with Jenny, Jennifer Hudson with Weight Watchers, and Janet with Nutri System), I’m wondering why someone hasn’t tapped Chaka, who is obviously doing something right.

The last few weeks has been a little un-epic with my weight loss, but seeing Chaka is making me step up my game and get back on the ball.

{Ain’t Chaka FINE? YES!}

I have been quite fortunate to be a part of some pretty groovy blogger campaigns and programs. When I received word a few weeks ago that I was selected to be a part of TWIN (Toyota Women’s Influencer Network), I was quite enthused. One of my blogging goals (yes, I have those) has been to work with a major car manufacturer, and up until this point, I haven’t been able to. I was excited that I was chosen because, not only is a cool thing to be a part of, but it also fulfills something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.

My experiences with Toyota has been limited, but I did own a Corolla back in 1995 (it was a ’91). And I rode that bad boy until the wheels fell off. I’ve always been a fan of their vehicles, and now that I am in the market for a new car, I’ve been eyeing the Rav4 for several years. So being a part of this network will allow me to try out Toyota vehicles, learn more about the company and their initiatives, and share all of the news and information that I learn with ya’ll!

One of the first items of the TWIN campaign is a TWIN Camp that will take place the first part of June. We will fly to Los Angeles and spend time driving Toyota vehicles and learning about the company and their brand culture.

If you have any questions about Toyota the company of their vehicles, I’m your girl. You guys are just as much a part of this as I am, so I want you all to come along with me for the ride!

Oh, and right now, Toyota is promoting their 100 Cars for Good in which Toyota is selecting 100 non-profit organizations to give vehicles to over a 100 day period, and they win by our votes on Facebook. Our very own Haven House right here in St. Louis is up for a car from Toyota! They are up to win a vehicle on June 15th. To learn more about 100 Cars for Good, click HERE!

Look forward to blog posts, videos, and other stuff on TheCubicleChick.com about the Toyota Women’s Influencer Network.

Got questions? Let me know!

Disclosure: I was selected for participation in the TWIN community through a program with
Clever Girls Collective. I did not receive any compensation for writing this post, or payment in exchange for participating. The opinions expressed herein are mine, and do not reflect the views of the Toyota. Smooches and deuces!

It’s official. My Chicklet is now out of school for the summer. I have all sorts of things planned to keep her busy during the summertime. She will be attending summer school for half days beginning in June. And after that, she will be transported to summer sports camp where she will be active and moving around. When summer school and summer sports camp finishes in July, she will be off to summer day camp. In between all of this, we are taking a few trips and on the weekends, she is enrolled in ballet.

That’s a lot of stuff we have going on. But I am an advocate for keeping my child busy, even in the summer. It’s important for kids not only to be active and moving, but also learning. During the summer, your child can actually “lose” some of the knowledge they’ve learned during the school year. But I have plans for that.

During the summer, I keep The Chicklet “Brain Active”. Meaning, we both participate in activities and items that get her brain going so that she continues to learn and grow intellectually during the summer months.

Here are 5 Ways to Keep Your Child Brain Active:

1. Grade Level Work Books: This is something I also did with my now 18 year old. I purchase workbooks at Barnes and Noble or Walmart or a place that sells them inexpensively for the next grade the kids are going to enter. I usually get one math one and one reading one and alternate the lessons everyday. These workbooks are usually well produced and has great brain stimulating material and we get it done first thing in the morning, right after breakfast, when my daughter is full and focused. It’s a great way to continue the learning process during summer break. (You can also print out worksheets for free on the web. Get them HERE and HERE.
2. Summer Reading Book Clubs at the Library: Most major libraries have a Summer Reading Book Club for pre-k, elementary, and young adult readers. These clubs usually give rewards or incentives based on how many books you’ve read and it’s a great way to get your kids to read during the summertime. My daughter loves participating in the Summer Reading Book Club at our local St. Louis County Library, and we will be participating again this year.

3. Educational Field Trips: Who says that you can’t have field trips during the summer? Planning a few hours once a week at a fun, yet educational spot in your city or town is a great way for your kids to learn. And a lot of times, you learn with them. This year, I have a trip to the City Museum planned as well as a visit to the St. Louis Science Center. You can also talk to certain stores in your area (like Petco) who may give store tours geared towards children. These trips are not only fun, but also create a way for you to bond with your brood.

4. Summer Learning Fun Packet: This year, my daughter’s 2nd grade teacher sent home with them a ‘My Summer Learning Fun Packet’ which has worksheets and fun activities for her to complete over the summer.

5. Writing Letters: My son used to love writing letters to our out of town relatives, so during the summer, we would buy dozens of postcards so he could send them in the mail. He also liked to type out letters (his penmanship was never that great), which helped his typing and spelling skills. This also teaches your child how to write formal letters and address them too. This summer, my daughter wants to write a letter to Malia and Sasha Obama. We are going to have so much fun with that!

By using your creativity, you could probably come up with a dozen more ways on how you can keep your child Brain Active and learning over the summer break. I hope these five items help you, or spark an idea of your own.

What are you going to do over summer break with your kids? How will you keep them Brain Active?

In my new ongoing series of life lessons and teachable moments, I will be sharing food for thought items that have inspired me, made me cry, made me think, made me change, and most of all, made me ME.

I never really knew that I had courage until recently. It came a point in my life when I saw others around me who were afraid. Afraid to be themselves. To be “weak”. To be vulnerable. To confront their truths. Afraid to do the “work”. I’ve had my issues with all of those as well. But I’ve never been one to hide from my issues or problems, or misplace blame onto others about “my stuff”. When I mess up, I own my mess up. And I try to rectify the situation. But not everyone does this. They would rather be silent or hide their feelings because a. they are afraid or b. it’s the easy way out.

Yes, being silent is the easy way out.

Talking out the pain, the hurt, and asking the hard questions takes work and resolve. It also takes courage.

Being courageous isn’t something that is common anymore. We can hide behind our computers and spit venom to others without identifying ourselves. We can send emails and inbox short DMs without really revealing what’s really bothering us. We can go through the motions of “looking” like we are making progress when we really aren’t. None of those items I just mentioned are courageous acts. They are disguised action items that don’t really expose courage.

Being courageous takes action. It takes someone who doesn’t mind going against the grain or status quo because they feel it’s right. It takes hard work. Silence is easy. Talking it out, being upfront and open and vulnerable—-that is courageous.

If you would’ve asked me a few months ago if I was courageous, I would’ve said no. I haven’t “fought” for anything. I haven’t made waves. That was my former definition of courageous. But I now know that being courageous is so much more than that.

When you are courageous, you may lose friends, especially if they aren’t in the same place with their self esteem as you are. When you are courageous, you don’t wear it as a badge. You just do what you feel needs to be done and say what it is you need to say, without taking the easy way out. When you are courageous, you sleep well every night. Because your chest is light and so are your burdens. You can lay down knowing that your baggage has been unloaded. When you are courageous, you are usually a leader. Someone who has resolve to do not what you want to do but what you need to do.

Courage is action.

Silence usually wins when people don’t want to do the work. And guess what? A lot of people don’t want to do the work. The hard work. They want to please others, but they can’t even please themselves. I am not saying this out of a place of judgment because I have been there and done that. But I became a better person when I decided to do the work. Even if that means performing the NEED and not the WANT.

I hope I can continue to be courageous. I hope I can continue to do the work. I hope you can too. Because even though you don’t think you can do it, I think YOU CAN.

{ Be. Courageous. }

When Fashion Star first debuted on NBC a few months ago, I was all on it. As a closeted Fashionista and pop culture girl about town, reality competition shows that involve fashion and celebrities always warm my heart. The premise of the show was daunting: allowing contestants to compete for a spot in Macy’s, H&M, and Saks Fifth Avenue while immediately selling the winning fashions and in stores to viewers had me at hello. I only hoped that the show would live up to the hype.

Early on, I tweeted that designer Kara Laricks was one of my favorite standouts from the show, and she proved that she had what it took to be crowned the first winner of Season 1 of Fashion Star. Her visually stunning aesthetic, bold lines, and trendy pieces was something that the judges and mentors could not ignore. And with her fab personality and bold haircut, what’s not to like about Kara?

I received the wonderful pleasure of interviewing Kara Laricks and Macy’s buyer and judge Caprice Willard last Thursday via Skype. And while I look like I am being taped from a cubicle located in a tunnel, I wanted to share the video with you because it was so much fun asking questions to Kara and Caprice. So please ignore my blurry and rather “grotesque” appearance during the video. Not sure why it came out like that, but I am proud of being able to receive this unique opportunity. SCORE!

Also in the video, Kara introduces a few items from her new line at Macy’s: a fabulous blouse and slacks combo perfect for work, a colorful pattern sheath dress that I absolutely adore, and a one-piece romper that can be dressed up or down.

Oh, and special thanks to my Twitter friends @Tanijoy and @Enana80, who sent me wonderful questions to ask Kara and Caprice. So wonderful, that I used two of the questions during the interview.

Peep the video interview below!:

Did you watch the first season of Fashion Star? What are your thoughts? And what do you think about Kara’s fashions in the video?

I love nothing more than pampering myself, aesthetically speaking. The Diva in me must do something for myself as it relates to my mind, body, and soul, at least once a month. A facial, manicure or pedicure, whatever the case, I make sure to indulge. So on Friday, I took advantage of my free schedule and booked a Signature Massage at one of my favorite day spas in the St. Louis area. I hadn’t had a full massage since March, and it’s been a little hectic in my world, so I knew I was due. When I get a good massage, it’s like a stress reliever for me. My headaches go away, my muscles relax, and I feel like a million bucks. It’s for the betterment of the world that I get a massage every now and then—because if not, well…let’s just say mama ain’t happy.

I had never experienced a Signature Massage before with hot stones and aromatherapy, so I was looking forward to this treat. I wanted a 75 minute experience that would make my toes curl and my knees buckle. A little bit of heaven on earth in the form of Swedish massage.

Stevie, my massage therapist had the Midas touch with her hands, and I instantly fell into a bliss type of situation during the first 10 minutes of the massage. The music was tranquil and her technique was on point. Nirvana, I tell you.

And then, it kind or sort of happened. I must’ve zoned out and fell asleep during the massage. I can tell you, I hardly ever fall asleep during a massage because my mind is usually always racing—what is on my to-do list? Where do I have to go next? What projects are due? It’s hard to fully submit to the feeling of the massage because my mind never stops. So when I noticed I fell asleep (for I think at least 20 minutes), I was certainly surprised.

And as I came to, I was awakened by the sound of myself—snoring loudly. Bear like. Grizzly.

Yes, your girl was snoring during the massage. And I had a tad bit of drool coming out the side of my mouth too. It was so gross! I was certainly embarrassed as I hoped that I wasn’t the first person Stevie had encountered who snored and drooled during their massage.

I so tried to play it off by giggling a little and acting like I was making noises, and not snoring. But I am sure I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was in this nicely maintained posh day spa on the upper echelon part of town and I was snoring and drooling and acting like a peasant. How dare I!

I managed to stay awake for the rest of the massage, but it was hard to do. I almost drifted back to sleep a few times but I caught myself. I had already embarrassed myself once before. Falling into another deep sleep and then talking to myself and snoring and drooling would’ve been a bit too much.

Afterwards, Stevie left the room and I got dressed, feeling all wiggly legged and spry. I was so embarrassed by my performance in the massage room and hoping that she wasn’t outside sharing my faux pas with the other employees.

{AWKWARD}

So a big old A for Stevie and her magic hands. And a big old FAIL for me and my snoring and drooling activities. I am not sure if I will be able to show my face at that day spa ever again.

Oh, the pain!

Has something like this ever happened to you? Am I the only person to snore and drool during a massage at a day spa? Please share your stories so I don’t feel as bad!

#FitFlyFab is now an agenda of mine. I have been working hard watching what I eat and getting more active so I can be physically fit. I have lost a little bit of weight so far, but it’s also been hard maintaining a healthy lifestyle when I travel so much. Luckily, there’s FLOTUS Michelle Obama, who looks so amazing—every time I see her, I am reminded just how fly I can be if I practiced good eating habits and worked out on a regular basis.

Recently, Michelle O shared her workout playlist with Women’s Health magazine. This playlist gets Michelle inspired while working out. I must admit, as a music junkie, I am quite impressed with her playlist. Check out the tunes for yourself:

1. Stevie Wonder: Signed, Sealed, Delivered (I’m Yours)

2. Beyonce: Move Your Body (Let’s Move Theme)

3. Jonelle Monae: Tightrope

4. Sara Bareilles: Love Song

5. Michael Jackson: Unbreakable

6. Willow Smith: Whip My Hair

7. Beyonce: I Was Here

8. Chubb Rock: Treat ‘Em Right

9. Ledisi: Thank You

10. Jennifer Lopez: Get Right

As you can see, Michelle Obama’s musical tastes are diverse! I love the way she blends pop, soul, R&B, hip hop, and old school.

In honor of National Women’s Health Week, Michelle also wrote an article for Women’s Health magazine called ‘Taking Control of Our Health’. She discusses how she became more concerned about her health after a chat with her family pediatrician when her girls were younger. The discussion made her realize that there were some changes that needed to be made as it related to the foods that they were eating. It was from then on that Michelle made it a point to make health a priority in their lives, so they began eating out less, watching their portions, and being more active.

That’s what being fit meant to me: feeling good inside and out, and taking control of my health.

Kudos to the First Lady for making being healthy the IN thing to do. She is a great example for all of us to follow!

Doesn’t seeing Michelle’s devotion to health and fitness make you want to be fit and fly and fab too?

Photo source

When I was a teenager, I lived for Saved by the Bell. The show came on the scene around the same time that I was entering high school, so it was a program that I watched every Saturday morning like clockwork. Even after school ended, I still found myself watching the reruns on USA. My favorite character was always Lisa Turtle, played by actress Lark Voorhies, the supposed BAP (Black American Princess) of the group. With her curly hair, fresh gear, and amazing life, I wanted to be Lisa. She was everything! I didn’t like how they didn’t have a romantic interest for her on the show (you don’t think Screech counts as a “romantic” interest), because I thought that her character really could’ve brought an interesting dynamic to the show if they showed her dating and such. Such a waste!

Anyway, I am getting away from the topic at hand. Lark Voorhies who played the Lisa Turtle character was fly and fabulous. In my head, I thought I was the Lisa Turtle of my high school. After a few acting roles during the late 90′s, Lark kind of faded away in obscurity. The rumor mill had her engaged to comedian Martin Lawrence (until he broke it off publicly by marrying someone else) and I think she even acted in a soap opera or two. It was if Lark fell off the earth—-then, she appeared online last week looking quite…different.

Internet personality Michael Yo caught up with Lark and interviewed her about her life since Saved by the Bell. When I saw the link of the video appearing on my social networking feeds, I couldn’t wait to catch up with my old BFF (in my head of course). But I was shocked to see that Lark’s appearance had changed so drastically over the years.

I am not sure it it was the makeup or the lighting or plastic surgery, but Lark looked…WHOA. Her whole appearance was alarming to say the least. I didn’t recognize her at all and most people were online commenting about how bad she looked.

Lark, girl, what happened to you?!

Lark and I are only 1 year apart, and I understand that as you grow older, you may want to try to hang on to your youthful looks for as long as you can. But, her appearance was one of more astonishment than anything. Her whole look aged her and it was hard for me to watch the entire video because she looked so weird!

I mean, at this point, I don’t think her high school crush Screech would touch her with a 10 foot pole.

The wonder that was Lisa Turtle is merely a memory now.

I know being a celebrity has us mere mortals thinking that they are held up to a higher standard than we are. But really, seeing Lark heavily made up to look like she looked was more sad than anything. Whatever is going on (and I hope it’s not a medial condition as some are stating), I hope Lark is well. And I also hope she fires whichever makeup artist did this to her face.

I would love to see Lark Voorhies make a comeback, and I am rooting for her.

What are your thoughts on Lark’s “new” appearance? Were you shocked to see how different she looks?

Photo source

Mommy Wars: (term) a divisive tactic that is used by the media and pundits to push a particular agenda where moms are concerned. By putting moms against each other, it not only creates polarization, but sells magazines, antagonizes political sides, promotes page views, and takes away from the real matters at hand.

During the last few months, I have witnessed a lot of judgment, name-calling, and soap box talking as it relates to moms. I first saw it in the political arena where “stay at home moms” were pitted against “working moms”. You may remember this happening when Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s wife, Ann, was countered by Democratic strategist, Hillary Rosen. Ann basically said that she loves “stay at home moms”, while Hillary fought back on behalf of the moms who work. I have seen it for years in the breastfeeding debate (those who do and those who don’t breastfeed). And most recently, I’ve seen it with the Time magazine “Attachment Parenting” article in which the cover shows a mom whose three year old son is sucking on her breast.

Basically, it’s who is the better mom?

The stay at home mom or the working mom?

The breastfeeding mom or the mom that chooses formula?

The married mom or the single mom?

Homeschooler moms or moms who send their child to traditional schools?

{See a pattern here?}

This type of argument is ridiculous, of course. In real life, not everything is black and white. I have been both a stay at home mom and a working mom and there are advantages and disadvantages to both. Children being brought up by stay at home moms don’t always turn out to be “perfect children”. And when we place these labels on moms, then there is sure to be people who have issues with it—me included.

Being a mom isn’t easy, no matter what circumstance you are in. I know moms that have never worked outside of the home who have kids that have had issues with the law, etc. Despite the fact that they have been there for their kids (and some moms have given up their careers and jobs to be a stay at home mom), their children may have turned out not the way they expected. And I know moms who worked 12 hours days and have children who are now going to school to be doctors. To make everything either or based on the “type” of mom someone is quite silly to me.

And while us moms should be encouraging one another and having each others backs, outside forces via magazine articles, blog posts, and other propaganda are asking us if we are “mom enough.”

Where are the articles asking are men dads enough?

Where is the public outcry over the term working moms? Do we refer to dads as working dads?

These mommy wars are straight up ridiculous. I am not one who uses Attachment Parenting, but if another mom wants to, then I am all for it. If they like it, I love it. I have my own children to raise—I can’t be worried about the methods another parent uses to raise their kids.

And I won’t let someone else who doesn’t know me or my situation judge how good of a mom I am.

For years, when my son was younger, I wanted to be a stay at home mom. But reality said otherwise. I was a single mom and had to work. My son was in daycare when he was just a few months old because I had to work full-time to take care of the bills. I didn’t have a choice. Did that make me any less than a mom who could stay at home? I certainly think not.

There are women who choose to work outside of the home, who do it because they want to. This choice doesn’t make them bad moms. But for some reason, we are always looking to play the blame game by identifying the “hero” and the “bad guy”.

Moms, don’t fall for the okie doke. Do what you need to do as a parent. Do what you feel is right. Yes, statistics may say that those moms who do X,Y,Z, may turn out to be healthier, stronger, etc. But if you aren’t “built” to do it, don’t feel pressure to. You deserve much more than to be judged about how you choose to raise your children. And I’d like to think as moms, we all do the best we can.

As long as you are not breaking the law (and of course within reason), I say, parent the way you want to parent.

Women, we tend to be harder on each other than men are on us. Why is that? We tend to look down on each other, show cattiness and judgment. But when we learn to support each other, despite our differences, then we may be able to move further ahead.

So I say, just say no to the Mommy Wars.

Do you, Boo!

What is your take on the Mommy Wars? Are you engaged in the discussion? Are you frustrated at the way moms are being pitted against one another in the media?