The Cyberactivist

I Am Still Here

2007-06-19T00:29:00.000-06:00

I know that it has been quite a time since I have written, but every time I have tried, well, I just couldn't quite do it. It seemed like every time I wanted to try again it just didn't come out right. I have to admit that I really haven't been doing very well lately. And, frankly, that is why I didn't want to post.

I don't want to worry anyone. But, I do feel it is necessary to at least check in with you all. So many of you have been so very kind and supportive that I guess a part of me feels like I don't want to let you down or something like that. I don't know.

This isn't going well either, is it? See why I haven't written anything else?

But, like I said, I did at least want to check in with everyone, let you know I am still here helping animals, building my house (well, trying at least), and trying to pick up the pieces of my life and continue to walk the path that Virgil and I once walked together.

It's been very hard. Very, very hard. I'm still a bit fragile sometimes, but I have learned that I am so much stronger than I ever thought I was. And I will make it. I just still need a bit more time. Thank you all again for everything you have all done.

And a special thank you to everyone who sent food!

Hey, by the way, anyone interested in a schipperke? I took the time to write a short post about Skipper on the Warm Hearts Humane Society site.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Again, this is just really quite hard for me because I can't do it without crying because it is just such a strong reminder of what I have lost. (Oh, and I guess I should probably say that it has been quite a long time since I have even checked my emails. I have over 10,000 of them piled up. I just can't do it. I hope you understand. I just don't even turn on the computer but maybe once a week for just a few minutes at a time. Anything more and I just get too depressed. If anyone wants to "talk" to me, though, you can leave a comment. Since I have them moderated you can use them kind of like an email if you don't really want to post a comment and just want to contact me privately. Simply state so in the comment, and I will get it at a different email address to read myself without approving the comment to be posted here.)

Thanks again, everyone, for your continued support and understanding.

Update and a thank you----

2006-12-18T18:34:00.000-06:00

First off, I want to thank all of the people who have left comments here, emailed me, and especially the close friends who have called. This has been so hard, so terrible, that I just don't think I could have handled it without the support I have gotten from so many caring people. I really do thank you all from the bottom of my heart for you kindness and concern.

Virgil used to say that I was the best thing that ever happened to him - well, I feel like he was the best thing that ever happened to me. We were so lucky to have found each other and had the kind of relationship we shared. Few people ever find that kind of love - that depth of love where you share everything about yourself. And I do mean everything - even the deepest, darkest secrets you have always kept to yourself your whole life. We told it all to each other and loved each other not in spite of, but because of, those things. Because all of those things were what made us who we really were. I loved Virgil unconditionally and whole-heartedly and always will. I knew things about him that he had never told a single, solitary soul, and he knew the same about me. That's so rare these days. Probably always has been. But, oh, is it special!

Unfortunately, it also makes it harder to let go and lose one another, especially so young. It also means that since he was "the one," there will never be another for me. It wouldn't even be fair for me to try if I wanted to, which I don't. I could never have that kind of relationship with anyone else because they would not be him. I will always have friends, but I will never love another the way I loved him. This also unfortunately means that my life will be so much harder than it already has been because I simply cannot do everything I need to do to take care of myself anymore since I became so disabled. There are a number of things I needed to have a man around to do. Like, I can't run a chainsaw and cut the firewood I need to heat my home (yet can't afford to buy it, either). I can't unload 50 lb. bags of dog food out of the car when I get home. I certainly can't finish building this house we started building together. I have done quite a bit of damage to myself even trying. I didn't realize how much until recently when I couldn't do even a fraction of what I could when we started. I always knew I was going against the doctor's orders, but I never realized how much damage I was doing, and now it is too late to do anything about it. I'll manage some way. I really don't have much choice. I have to have a home, and it's cold right now without all of the insulation, and I dream of having my sink hooked up in the kitchen and hot water and stairs instead of cinder blocks to get up on the porch or a ladder to have to climb up into the loft and.....I have family and a few friends, but it will sure take a whole lot longer, and it surely won't be the same as it would be if we were still doing this together as a team like we did everything else in our life.

And there is so much of him here in this place. He is in every board because he cut the logs that the lumber came from. He was part of the decision-making process in the design stage, and the place is designed for him to be here. Two long closets up in the loft, one on each side of the room, along with two sets of drawers that go on each side of the bed. Everything is in pairs. Our coffee mugs, our place mats, even some of our hats and outfits. I just can't imagine a life spent without him being in it. We were supposed to grow old together and sit on our porch in our rocking chairs and tell our grandchildren what interesting lives we had led, showing them all of the articles and interviews and such, sharing what we had accomplished and what we had learned. We wanted them to learn that one person can indeed make a difference in this world. That every single choice a person makes matters in shaping the kind of reality that becomes your future.

Now, it will just be me. And, I don't intend to stop doing what I do and being who I am. I couldn't if I wanted to. Believe me because part of me has tried. Like, this morning, I wanted to just curl up in a ball and not get out of the bed and face the world, but I couldn't. I got up, fed the animals, got my coffee, and started my day. It has been a really hard one, too. Maybe the hardest yet. I won't go into why, as some of what I am going through is just a bit too private for posting here. I may be able to talk more about it at some point, but right now everything is just too raw.

Anyway, enough of the pity party. On to the rest of this post. I promised an update, and I intend to give it to you.

I have been asked about funeral arrangements, so here they are for anyone who cares.

The "viewing" will be held tomorrow, the 19th, at Beasley Wood Funeral Home at 611 Janssen St. in Mena, AR from 6:00-8:00, and the funeral will be Wednesday at 2:00 at
Hilltop Church in Cove, AR (just south of Mena). I know that the vast majority of people who read this will not be there, but perhaps during those times you can hold Virgil in your heart for a moment or so and wish him peace. And, if I may ask, hold me in your hearts for a moment, too, and lend me a bit of strength to deal with all of that, especially since this is not what he wanted done. I won't go into that, either, as I don't wish any more pain on his mother than she is already going through. If this is what she needs to do to deal with this, then so be it. His body is just a shell anyway - his spirit isn't in it anymore. I can't imagine how it feels to lose a son. But I do know now how hard it is to lose the person you planned to spend the rest of your life with and the only person in the world who truly knew you and loved you for who you really are.

It hurts.

A lot.

Sorry, gotta go now. I've done all I can handle for one day. Those of you who have written me personally, I will get back to you individually when I can. I can only handle so much at once. But, I have read every word sent. Thank you all again.

Peace and love and light to you all-----

Laura

Goodbye

2006-12-15T12:21:00.000-06:00

This is Laura writing, and I have bad news for you. Today, 12-15-06, Virgil Butler was found dead.

That's all I have to say publicly at this time other than to convey his wish that anyone who wishes to do so may use the words written here to keep fighting the fight against the scourge of cruelty and the greed that causes it that Virgil spent the last part of his life in fighting. I will not stop doing the vital work we were doing together, though I will indeed miss him terribly. He was my best friend, my soul mate, and the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, growing old together in this house we are still building (well, I guess it's just me now, though, building it alone, isn't it?), and devoting the rest of our lives to making this a better and more peaceful world.

He will be so very greatly missed. He had a hard life and a tortured spirit, shone brightly for too short of a time, but now is finally at peace.

I loved him with all of my heart.

Goodbye, Virgil. Rest now, you very special man. There will be no other one like you. You touched many lives - mine so very much - and I will never forget you. I will keep trying to fight the fight without you by my side, though I cannot imagine doing that right now. This place will always be the sanctuary it was for you and the all of the many others who have come here hurting, especially the many lost and abused animals - a place of healing and love and peace.

I will always love you.

Goodbye, Babes.

Laura

"Ecoterrorist" or Activist?

2006-08-21T15:04:00.000-06:00

Unless you have been under a rock, you have heard of the term "ecoterrorist," seen how much it is flying around these days, and how many people are being accused of being one. Even I have been. Yep. Little ol' me - out here in the woods, hurting no one. Just rescuing animals and speaking my mind - telling ugly truths about those who would wish I would just finally shut up, once and for all.

What's funny (NOT!) is that there was a time that I really and truly WAS a dangerous criminal, and even a killer, but not anymore. I am so damned peaceful that I don't even eat animals that OTHER people have killed! I have actually changed so much that it has apparently manifested physically so much so that people who have known me for years don't recognize me when they see me again for the first time in a long time. Quite a few people have just blankly looked at me when I say "hi" to them, even though they knew me for a long, long time. So, it seems that more than just my mind and spirit have changed - my physical appearance seems to have changed as well. Laura says that she can see it, too, though, mostly in my eyes - that they aren't dead anymore. I know that she has helped me open a part of me that I had closed off a long time ago - my heart. As much as it hurt to do it, I have opened it again and experienced emotions - some hurtful, but mostly just loving and caring ones. I have had more than enough of violence and killing, thank you very much. And, NOW that I have changed my life, been living right, and haven't hurt a soul, NOW is when I am harassed and attacked by the law the most!

Well, a friend forwarded a link to me that I want to share with you. http://www.greenisthenewred.com/

I don't think I should have to say anything else. He says it all.

Keep fighting for those who can't and don't ever - EVER - give up!

Might DOES NOT make right.

Love and light do.

One tiny candle conquers a whole LOT of darkness.....

Keep on lighting them, folks.

I will, too.

Yes, Finally an Update!

2006-08-07T11:26:00.001-06:00

Well, besides still working hard on the house, it seems that we now have a new project. Well, it's mostly Laura's project, but I have joined up as a member, too.

As she has spent all morning uploading photos, this will be a very short post, as there is really a lot needing to be done today on the house. And it is time for lunch, too.

There is no point in repeating what all has been said on the new site, so you can go and read it there for yourself just as you can see the new rescues, too. They just keep right on coming! And we have decided that these are the most destructive kittens ever!

And you don't even know about the little mangy dog yet, either!

All of these animals are costing us a fortune! And, right now, no one is able to help. And, like it says in the post on the new blog site, we don't want to give away any kittens until they are fixed. The mother is first, of course, but then, we start on the babies - all 5 of them! And only one of them is male! Scary, huh?

Try building a house with this many kittens scampering everywhere, grabbing at your extension cord and knocking stuff off constantly. Just try.......

Oh, and I don't guess there is anyone out there who knows what they are doing when it comes to those new tankless water heaters, do you? We bought one, both to be eco-friendly and to save on utilities, but after we read the instructions, I have the sense to know I am in over my head and have absolutely no idea how to do it right. Hopefully the compost toilet will be easier. It is on the way.

Man, do we have a L-O-N-G way to go to get this place finished! We really need some help desperately.

Well, gonna go and eat, then get back to work.

Even though it has been terribly hot, suddenly winter doesn't seem that far away. At least not at the pace we are going.

Welcome, George!

2006-05-31T23:56:00.000-06:00

Well, I tried to write this post once, but we were so tired that we fell as leep during the middle and erased it before posting. Yep, we have been working hard again. New deadline.

Babies.

First comes George, of course. Then, the mother cat and her three kittens the week before last, then two more kittens last weekend.

Speaking of George...

We got some pictures of him and decided to share:

More on the house (first of the bittshots! ha ha!) was posted before the George entry here.

Latest Update

2006-05-19T11:19:00.000-06:00

Since there were so many pictures associated with what I had to say about us working on building the house, and I was afraid that sticking that many in one post would slow the loading time down so much for this site, I put them all on the photopage along with all of the descriptions and explanations about them. Therefore I see no need in duplicating that information here.

I did break up the pictures by the date they were emailed to me from Laura's mother, so they are put up on different days starting with April 2, and that is also the date that I wrote the post to go with them, but since I haven't updated the photopage any more than I have updated this site, my groups, or done anything else online since we started working like crazy on that house, they should all appear on the front page. At least they should for now if you read them now and have not come to this post at a much later date (which is, of course, the main reason I am explaining this - for those who do come here months, or even years, later). Anyway, that is the date to start at to read the whole explanation, then scroll back up to look at the pictures so that you can see them in the proper order. I will also go ahead and tell you that we took more pictures than appear there, and we will find ut why the rest were not sent to us. Either Laura's mother just didn't send them or her camera was acting up again, and they didn't take or transfer to her computer properly. We don't know at this point - just that we took a lot more than she sent us, so there is nowhere near the number of them that existed on the site. but there are enough to give you the general idea of about how we started and when as well as pretty much what it looks like now. The main difference now is that the roms are full of all of the stuff Lowe's delivered and the vinyl flooring the Laura went and bought the other day to go down in the kitchen, laundry room, and bathroom. Now we can figure out properly how to wire and plumb for it all, so that is one of the next things we intend to do. We talked to the wiring guy just a little while ago (he called while we were writing this post), and he is supposed to come and assess the situation next week and should have it wired in a couple of weeks. After that, it's goodbye trailer! Burn, baby burn! Can't wait to watch and film that either. he he!

Anyway, from this point on, now that we have slowed down so considerably, we will make updates at the time they happen and won't wait over a month to do so, so you can keep up with how it comes along. Like I said, Laura has had this house built in her head for years and knows exactly how it will look, down to where she intends to put what furniture even, but no one else can see the pictures in her head, so everyone will just have to follow along as we get it done just as those of us who are building it are following her directions as to how she wants things done. Of course, I have a pretty good idea of how it will look, as she has explained it to me, and I have been working on it since the beginning, but even I don't have the kind of pictures in my head that she does.

I do know one thing. I can't wait until we get in there.

Today I am using my new planer she bought to run our hardwood flooring through since we couldn't get the boards to the place that does that now that our truck is down, and we can't depend on anyone to do everything like that when we need them to. And, unlike a few sheets of fiberboard or plywood, we certainly can't carry a whole truckload of lumber on top of a minivan! Besides, I have to admit that I am one of those guys who loves power tools and who has always wanted a planer. I have already tested it out and used it on a few of the boards that were more warped than the others, and I love the thing! It works well, and the boards are coming out so pretty. We don't intend to stain them - just put a clear finish on them and cover a good portion of them with area rugs, both to protect them and for color so that each room's decor matches. Again, that part of things is part of the picture in Laura's head. And, like she told her mother the other day, we will be easy to buy for on holidays for quite awhile now! Ha ha ha!

We are so very excited!!!!!!

Well, I'm off to plane some boards now. Talk to y'all later.....

Long-Awaited Update - the summary version

2006-05-17T07:29:00.000-06:00

I will write a much longer post later, as I do not have the time now. I will say that I am still around and working a bit on my activism - in fact I did a radio show just a few days ago called "Vegan Stew" out of Colorado, but was too busy at the time to even plug it anywhere, not even in my groups (which I haven't had the time to check yet either - sorry folks, I know I am letting you down and dumping more work on my moderators, though they don't post like I do, but that will change again very soon, too) - for those of you who have become a bit worried about me since no one has heard from me online for about 2 months and I was starting to get worried emails in my private email address from those few people who actually have it, though I admit that I have not had the time to check my online address supplied by this site yet. We have just been extremely busy working on our house. I will update you later and load the pictures we have taken so far - even though things change every day - later as well so that you can see for yourself how fast and hard we worked. I would do so now, but we just dealt with unloading a very large delivery from Lowe's today, then a smaller one from a private company that delivered 3 more appliances that should have been on that Lowe's truck, but weren't. In fact, we have been interrupted so many times today writing this post that it isn't even funny. Believe it or not, but we started this before 7:00 a.m. It started this morning as a short post, but then it grew and grew, despite the fact that I intended to keep it short, so we ended up doing it in pieces as the day went on. And it still won't have everything in it that I had intended to write when I wrote my first update post since the last time you heard from me because I won't make this one ridiculously long by going into lots of details about everything that's been going on while I have been offline - way, way too much for one post!

The main reason I am writing this post without all of the rest of the information yet is because my subscription service for receiving notices of new posts has changed, and we were in a hurry to let you know about that. I was using Bloglet, but I just got an email this morning saying that it would be disabled in the next couple of weeks, as the person who was providing this service did this as a hobby and simply no longer has the time. However, he did leave a way for me to import all of the existing subscriptions to a new service called FeedBlitz, which I have done so that you will all get your subscriptions as usual, though you may have to confirm that you want them through email (seems we saw something about that - another reason for writing this post and getting it up quickly). Laura skimmed over the instructions just enough to get this going for me, just as she handles most of this kind of thing, and we just did the minimum to get it up and running. Hopefully, as this new service is not just a hobby for these folks, but also a way of making income (though I am using the free version, as I do on just about every downloadable program I have - so far there is only one I have thought worth paying for to get the additional stuff I was missing out on), it will also be a bit more reliable than Bloglet has been. At least I am hoping that these statements are the truth. I can't really know until we have tried it and seen whether or not it works properly. (We signed up for a subscription just like we did at Bloglet to make sure that it came through each time we post, so we will get our notice the same way and at the same time that you will - once a day, no matter how much I write, and I am just hoping that I haven't waited to late to publish this one that I missed the time they send out the notices. Guess we will soon see, huh?)

I know that I have received some emails from some of you stating that you were not receiving your subscription updates, and we have had to go to Bloglet to re-enable the subscription updates several times. Bloglet will automatically disable your subscription of posts sent out if it encounters any problems, like Blogger going down or something. Hopefully this service will work differently and fix that, as it didn't mention it being a possibility. We will see. Let me know if you have any problems. The only problem with this changeover was that there were two subscriptions that were anonymously signed up under Bloglet that would not import over to the new service for that reason. I have your email addresses and will send you an email so that you may subscribe to this new service for updates if you like, or you can just go ahead and do so in the box at the right of the screen if you are reading this today, even though you would not have received an update from Bloglet to tell you that I have updated my blog today since we had to disable that service and change the code in the template to start the new one (which we have moved up higher on the sidebar so that it is easier to find for new readers and for the few old ones who never knew that I had a way for them to subscribe - now they can do so).

Anyway, Laura and I will get together later (probably tomorrow, as we are pretty tired) and get you updated more on what has been happening with the old foster dogs, our computer, the arrival of a new dumped dog (we call him George, and the poor guy is just a puppy and was pretty skinny when he showed up, but he is gaining weight fast - now if we can just get him potty-trained...We will also see about getting a picture of him up soon as well - looks part pitt and is a kind of a brindle color. Hopefully we can get a shot of him up today along with the pictures of the house today, though I still use a borrowed still camera and don't control when I get pictures sent to me. Anyway, we will get to the rest of the story later. It ought to bring you up-to-date a bit. It could even be long enough to take several posts.

I will give you a few summary highlights, though.

We did buy ourselves a new digital video camera finally! However, the guy at the store misunderstood what we wanted, so the thing doesn't just plug into the computer like we had hoped, and we cannot edit footage, which is a REAL bummer! - but it does have much better quality optics than the models that did plug in, so that will make up for it somewhat. We would have probably gone somewhere else and done more looking if we had realized that he had sold us the one he did, as we really did want a better one than the one we got, but without giving up the quality of the video, and we would have had to do that if we had bought the others that did plug into the computer. They just didn't have much of a selection, and we were pretty disappointed. But the one recommended to us by a friend to do what we wanted it to do costs thousands of dollars, and we just couldn't afford that. At least not now. The only real problem we have had with this one so far (we have barely used it - only 3 times so far) is that it is one of those models put out by Sony that makes those tiny little DVD disks, and though we have now upgraded our computer with a DVD burner to make copies of them since we have such a slow dial-up connection and could never send a video out to anyone, the computer will only recognize the RW+ disks for me to use, won't copy a file from the camera to the computer and then burn it back to a DVD that anyone can watch on their player at home because of the format, and we haven't been able to find anything but RW- and, of course, the regular R disks. If anyone knows of a common place to get these RW+ ones, please let me know. (We had to drive all the way up to Fort Smith to the Best Buy - about 1-1/2 hours away - to even buy the camera to get this kind of quality, as Wal-Mart (about the only place around to buy anything at all) just didn't have anything that we wanted or that did what we wanted it to do, but we are hoping not to have to drive all the way up there again just to get a couple of disks for the thing!)

As for the other problem of sharing, we have a workaround since the camera won't play nice as far as making copies of disks we make so that we can share them with others and use them to post pictures from (though we are still considering buying a still camera for doing this if necessary, as we understand that they have better quality and come with programs so that you can edit pictures and all - at least the Kodak one that we borrow does - then we can only use this one mostly for video, but we will make that decision after we have used it to take pictures we can actually view on the computer once we get the proper disks). As for the workaround, I can create and burn DVD's to send to people via a new Nero program that came with my DVD burner, so I can get around not being able to hook up the camcorder to the computer or the disks having the format that the computer reads on the RW+ disks burned to another disk so that it can be recognized and played by a regular DVD player (MPEG-2), or so the computer guy tells us. We haven't had time to try that, either. But we have taken some video with it and a few stills that we would like to share (it at least makes .jpg files for the pictures). Whoever knew that this was all so complicated?! We knew what we wanted to do, but just couldn't find what we wanted without spending some serious money - like thousands of dollars to have one custom-made or special-ordered or something.

Our house is our biggest priority, though we did buy us a car that is not only newer and much more dependable (the truck is STILL broken down!), but also gets WAAAAY better gas mileage, which will make a major difference when we make our tour of the country and all and certainly makes a big difference just going to town and on the environment as well as our small wallet. We never would have taken that truck to do that long road trip anyway. Terrible gas mileage and not comfortable enough, not to mention 10 years older than the car, so probably not as dependable. The new car (well, new to us anyway) is perfect for this, though - a nice mid-sized car with plenty of room for passengers and for carrying things in the trunk. Though it hasn't been very helpful in hauling building materials like ol' Hoss (the truck - Laura always names her vehicles, and this one has a name, too - Lady Blue) was. >:(

We still want our truck back, especially since the only reason we bought the thing was to haul supplies to build this house! It has really been a pain in the butt to work with this car, Laura's mother's minivan (with luggage rack), and her sister's vehicle's luggage rack. Can't carry much in or on any of them like we could in ol' Hoss and usually have to drive slowly. For the big stuff, we just had to pay for delivery fees. We sure miss ol' Hoss and check on him frequently. He actually carried a whole pallet of cinder blocks from a town 45 minutes away, surprising even the people who worked there. We worked him hard, but he always came through. A rat chewing wires is the problem now, and the repair guy thinks there is a good possibility that the computer brain is shorted out (if you have one for a '91 Ford F150 4wd or know someone who does, please let me know - I have the exact numbers needed to make sure it is the right part). But, at least we got part of the house done with it and got Laura's mother's house built with it, and even used it to earn a little cash for a couple of years until we could get a steady income coming in, even if it is only a small check. At least we and the animals eat, the bills get paid, and everything like that. Though now that we have the new house, our utilities will be higher, I still don't have medical coverage and am having to pay for all of that in cash, and we don't think the check will be enough to pay for all of that, we are figuring out innovative ways to cut monthly costs and continue to build as green as we started out, even if it costs a little more up front for some of the things we are buying, like the tankless water heater, and will require more work for others, like the compost toilet.

Speaking of money, I really want to thank the people who have been sending donations throughout this time, even with me not writing a word or keeping in touch, to help with all those foster dogs and the chickens, not to mention all of those puppies - two of which had to be bottle-fed to survive. Laura really worked hard during that time taking care of both me, with my head injury and seizures and having to be awakened every 4 hours, and still caring for those puppies and all of the rest of the animals. She didn't sleep much and lost a bit of weight then, too. You can't possibly know how much that money really did help, as we were really eating through that house money to care for the puppies (that formula is quite expensive!) since we obviously couldn't afford to spend 40% of our monthly income to do that and still eat ourselves, much less pay the bills and get my medical needs taken care of and all, and one we got the other money for the car, house, and all, we would not have been able to finish that house and still pay for everything else if it were not for you generous people helping us to make sure that all of the animals had food and medical care. We are really cutting it very, VERY close now with the little bit of money we have left, as we have spent quite a bit of it on the animals that we never budgeted for (just like we hadn't budgeted for me getting hurt so badly, being not only unable to work and make a little money doing odd jobs, but costing so much for all my medical care), but what were we to do? The animals had to be taken care of. No matter what.

There were animals needing us. Just like George. No, we can't really afford him, but here he is. And no, we don't have the time to devote to potty-training him at the moment, but he is here, and no animal that shows up here ever gets turned away, especially when they are so obviously starving and you can see all of their bones like we could with him. He was SO glad to see caring people. He licked Laura right in the face when she found him in the new house that morning as she climbed down the stairs from the loft to make coffee and called him to her, thinking he was one of the other dogs (he is about the same color as Spaz) even before she then immediately went and got him a bowl of food and another of fresh water and brought both to him when she discovered he wasn't Spaz, but just another unwanted baby dumped out in the woods on his own and had entered our house while we slept, looking for help. He wanted love just about as much as he wanted to eat and drink. Well, he sure came to the right place for that!

Funny how they seem to just know where to go, isn't it? Poor baby. How can people do that, especially to babies? I will never understand that one. (Oh, that reminds me - we just bought everyone's rabies shots recently and need to give them to them, though we will now have to buy one extra for George since it is really beginning to look as if we will end up keeping him. We didn't want to and intended to try to find him a home just like we have all of the others that have shown up, but he really did bond with Laura's daughter and is quite happy here - not to mention that he appears to be part pittbull, and we are worried about the kind of home he would go to because of that. But those rabies shots need to be administered ASAP. Very important, especially out here in the woods! Glad I made this post today, as I had forgotten about those shots at the back of the refrigerator. They aren't doing much good in there now, are they?) Maybe we will go ahead and give George the one that was supposed to be given to Sly, "our" cat (even though he moved in with Laura's mother rather than stay down here - who could blame him?), and just get Sly another one. Then we can do all of the dogs at the same time, and besides, George is more likely to come across a rabid animal in the woods than Sly is since George is running in the woods with our dogs, and Sly pretty much just hangs around the house.

I know that I have been a bit lax in thanking you each and every one personally for donations lately, and I really do apologize for that. I have always made sure to acknowledge and thank every single person for every single donation, no matter the size (just like I always answer every email I get). I feel bad about that lapse, so take this as a group public thank you and know that your contributions truly did help take care of all of those animals and are still needed for us to keep going, as obviously we are still getting animals and will soon be building the chickens their new home and, best of all, the big yard so that they can roam freely and engage in more natural behaviors than they now do. We work hard to make sure they get fresh natural greenery from around here and have clean places to nest and all, but their house is pretty well shot, and we hate keeping them locked up in that small yard all of the time to keep them from being torn to pieces. Before we got the money to build the house, we were really hurting badly and not eating well, not to mention just not filling a prescription here and there, all in order to care for the animals we had responsibility for, especially when both shelters cut off all the promised help. We put the animals first, though, just as we would our children. I am sure that most of you understand that feeling. Unfortunately, because of the way things went, both places lost a very good foster home, as we were really having trouble properly caring for them, especially as far as tick control went. We won't take that chance again. And besides, Laura's mother got fed up with some of the things that happened with them and has said that we could no longer take in any foster dogs. Dumped dogs are a completely different matter - she wouldn't turn away a starving baby any more than we would. Same for the chickens. And they don't cost nearly as much as dogs do. And they LOVE ticks! Laura actually goes out to their yard when she gets covered and feeds them to them right off her hands and clothes. We were feeding them the ones we picked off the dogs, but we used that spot treatment stuff you put on their backs, so we can't do that anymore lest we take the chance of poisoning them, even if we do find one or two on a dog.

And, as for what we will do next with the donations you send, besides continuing to feed and care for the existing animals here, the chicken yard expansion is next! Yes, I know that I have been talking about doing it for some time now, but if you have been reading this blog long enough, then you know why it didn't happen when I thought it would. There has just been one obstacle after another, but mostly now it's because I physically can't do it after having that tree fall on my head. I am still suffering quite a bit of dizziness and have fallen off of ladders several times in the building of this house and coming down from the loft, which isn't good. It especially wasn't good a couple of days ago when I fell from a ladder about 8 ft. and landed on a cast iron wood stove, hitting my head on the thing. It is still swollen and sore over that. Needless to say, I was out of commission for the rest of that day - just laid down after Laura helped me inside when it gave me another seizure (the first one I have had in a while - we thought they were gone, but apparently not). I have also fallen and landed flat on my back a couple of times - once right on my tool belt with the hammer standing straight up in its holster and stabbing me right in the lower back and another time breaking an old boombox we had out in the house to listen to while we worked (at least it was old and already half-broken anyway). But, since we still don't have the stairs built to get into the loft to sleep, we have to climb a ladder to get up there and come back down every day. That will be one of the first places we put some of the hardwood flooring so that we can build that ladder, especially as it barely reaches, and you have to climb up on the top step to get into the loft because the top of it is still several inches below the floor of it and is resting on a 2x6 that holds it up.

But, back to the chicken expansion. I still have a donation someone sent me for that (well, most of it - a small part of it was used to try and save Feisty's little life when we took him to the vet - but we still have the rest tucked away in our other account for that project. So, if the person who sent that donation is reading this (and I won't mention you by name since I don't know if you want anyone to know or not and haven't received your permission to say anything), I want you to know that we do still have it, and we will still use it for its intended purpose - to build the expansion for the chickens. And I will get on that just as soon as I am able to do so. It will require a LOT of work, and I will still have to have help. Hopefully I can get some help with it without much trouble and, even more hopefully, at no expense, as there is very little Laura can do as far as setting all those posts for the fence goes. She can help a bit with the house and putting up the fencing, though. We are still open to volunteers from the animal community to come and stay for however long you want to, and not just to slave away, but to enjoy the place as well. Now that we have dried in the house, we can even put people up in it, as we have even bought a blowup double-bed-sized camping mattress and two cots with blowup mattresses in them. And, of course, we still have the tent option if you like privacy and camping out. In fact, we just bought a brand new one since last year ours got torn in the side by a tree branch when we had a storm come up that was unexpected, and the person using the tent at the time had not staked it down enough (maybe not even at all, as it usually isn't necessary). It was just a small rip and can probably be fixed, but we went ahead and got a new one anyway, just in case we could not fix it to the point that rain would not come in. We don't like to take chances like that when we go on overnight canoe trips and are stranded out there on the riverbank until we get to the end of the float.

But, since I have talked about spending all of this money on the house, car, and other things, I did feel that it was necessary to stress our policy once again, especially for new readers. We NEVER use any donated money for personal expenses unless the person sending it expressly tells us to use the money sent in a certain donation for one of them, and right now there is only one person who does this occasionally to help with medications. And, we have NOT spent a single dime of donated money to build our house, buy our car, or on any other personal expenses, just like we promised we wouldn't after we pretty much got on our feet quite a while back. That policy still is the same, and it will remain that way unless something unforeseen and major happens, at which time we will let you know. But, we don't foresee that happening.

Every penny sent to us for the animals goes to the animals.

(In fact, we spend more than we take in 99% of the time), and we do keep the receipts to prove that fact if any of you ever question that or desire to see proof (and we would completely understand and not be in any way offended, especially if you were like the person who sent the somewhat large donation towards the chicken expansion and wanted to be absolutely sure that your money would be well-spent and that you were not being conned or anything). Laura is especially careful about trying to keep up with receipts in her files, especially since we are not a non-profit, and the donations are legally treated as "gifts" by the IRS and are not subject to the same scrutiny from the government that the non-profits have to deal with (and, also just in case they ever come sniffing around to make sure that this isn't untaxed income, too - Laura is now saving ALL receipts for that reason, even grocery store ones, and she has always saved ones for utilities and major purchases for things with warranties and such - she is very organized about this and has done it for years, and you would be surprised at how often it has made a difference - I can look up a phone number I called from 2002, for instance, and that kind of thing is nice when you lose those little slips of paper someone gives you with their phone number on them.

Anyway, for now we have decided to keep things as they are as far as that nonprofit stuff goes. It may cost us some of the larger donations that some rich people like to use to take money owed to the IRS off their taxes, but most of those kinds of big checks go to the large groups anyway, not small ones like ours, and if someone really and truly wants to directly help an animal or to help get me to a speaking engagement or something like that, they will do so without worrying about something like tax deductions. A few people have. People do that because they care about our work and the animals we help, not to mention the many thousands of people all over the globe that I have helped educate as to exactly how the poultry industry operates in detail. Details that even the big activist organizations don't always know and ask me about frequently. Only someone who has worked in such an environment for a number of years would know the things I do, and as far as I know, and as far as anyone at the large organizations knows, I am the only person to come forward and talk about this stuff, and am especially being the only person willing to actually use my name and have my private life torn open for the world to see, in addition to making myself a target for those who are not too happy with me talking. And there are quite a few of those, though most of them are just annoying, and some are even funny, but they are almost all pretty harmless. Almost. Some are not. You have read about some of the stuff we have had to endure because of my big mouth, but not everything. There are a few things that only a few people know about.

I mean, I have actually been sniped at. Repeatedly. Really. And I can prove it. A few people know about it, but this is the first time I have disclosed this publicly. Hope it doesn't backfire on me, but several people told me that I should go public with this fact, so now I am finally doing so. And, yes, it has been reported to the authorities - more than one level at that, but no one is doing much of anything about it. Well, I say that because there isn't a cop car parked outside my place trying to catch (or at the very least stop) who is doing it, but I don't mean that there isn't anyone at all in law enforcement that isn't trying to help. And I pretty well know who this person is. And, yes, that information has been turned over, too, along with pictures and other things, but I am not going to tell all on this at this point because the person doing this will definitely read this, and I don't want to completely tip my hand on exactly what evidence I have gathered, exactly who I have talked to, and exactly what is being done about it.

I will say this, though. The person responsible needs to stop it if they want to have any chance of having anything left of a life. You may think you have been smart and careful, but not quite as smart and careful as you thought. And you have severely underestimated who you are up against just as you have severely overestimated your ability to shut me up by killing me. I mean, I am still here and going strong, aren't I? There is a post being written right now, isn't there? If you agree to stop and leave me alone, I will agree to stop what I am doing to ruin you. And believe me when I say "ruin." I don't use that word lightly. And you know me and know that I mean it. I don't give up. I don't quit. And I don't scare off. And there are others who are following this all who have copies of all of the evidence I have gathered, and it is scattered all over. I know much more than you realize I do, and I have been busy going after you since you started this little campaign to kill me right in my own yard, laying in my hammock reading a book. Quit right now. I mean it. I am not threatening you, but let me give you a piece of advice - you have to get away with it EVERY time. You only have to be caught ONCE. It's not a matter of IF, but WHEN. Isn't that what cops tell those who break the law? It's what I tell those few people I still know who do. And you are breaking the law. But, here on this blog, I will make you a deal publicly. You quit trying to kill me, and I will quit putting together the pieces that will ruin you and those you care about. Call it a truce while you still can. If you even still can. Things have been progressing more than some people know because I am not using the usual means of communication that can be listened in on to disseminate this information. Not anymore. I did at first, and I had a reason for it, even though I knew that you would know about it. In fact, your reaction when I started gave me a clue as to your identity. But now, there is more, and you don't know what it is, and you won't until it is too late. At this point, even if you actually got lucky enough to pop me and actually kill me, your eventual ruin wouldn't stop, as it has taken on a life of its own now with this many people involved who want to see you go down.

And that's all I will say about that - now or in the future.

Just stop.

Leave me alone because it really isn't worth it. Not really. Is it? If so, then...

Anyway, as far as the nonprofit idea goes, this is what we have been advised to do, especially given the political climate of industry and the corporate-friendly government going after animal and environmental nonprofits (think PETA and Greenpeace, for starters) added to the fact that we really don't receive that much in donations anyway. So, it would basically be a major red-tape headache for us with no real gain, and it would cost money to do it that could be better spent on the animals. I mean, we aren't like PETA or the Humane Society or anything like that, and we don't take in millions of dollars (we aren't even like one of the larger sanctuaries who not only get donations but also help by volunteers and/or interns to care for the animals) - quite a few months go by with us never getting anything at all, and 99% of the time we receive less than $100 in any month that we actually get anything at all. Most donations are between $5 and $20 anyway. That will feed animals, but those amounts are just not worth even the $150 filing fee we were told we would need to send in with the mounds of paperwork to the IRS, and they certainly aren't worth the time that would be taken away from our work to deal with those bureaucrats that are auditing everyone right now, looking for anything at all to get them on so that they can take away their tax-free status. Some sanctuaries have even folded, like OohMahNee. That's always a terrible shame, as we need all the places we can get for these relatively few animals saved from slaughter or abusive homes. There is a real shortage of space for farmed animals because of their size, their need for lots of space, and their big appetites, just to start - it's even worse for farmed animals, due to lack of space and the number of sanctuaries, than for the millions of unwanted cats and dogs that either go to shelters, are dumped in the woods like George, or are just killed outright. Many are put down in one way or another, just as the millions of dogs and cats are every year just so that many shelters can make room for more unwanted animals and only keep the most adoptable ones. Others just stay full and turn away many animals needing help. We don't do that just as we don't kill so-called "unadoptable" ones - we either find suitable homes for them with people we personally know or just keep them ourselves.

So, we decided that we would rather have every single penny going directly to help the animals, as I am sure you would too if you sent money in. I know that if I donated money to feed and care for an animal, I wouldn't want it spent on administrative expenses, someone's salary (not to put down anyone who does this work for a living or any organization that pays people to do this work, but we just don't have that kind of budget, even if we wanted to do that, and we don't. We do this simply because we love and care about animals, and Laura had already been doing it for practically her whole life before I even met her - it's just more animals and a bit bigger operation than it ever was for her before - and nothing is sent to the IRS, or anything of the sort. And we truly do need every penny we can get to properly care for these animals. I mean, we could probably make sure no one starved without help if we went without a few more things ourselves, but we could never afford medical care for me, for instance. And, at this point, I really have no choice in that matter. Too many things wrong with me.

Much of the healing we do ourselves anyway, as Laura is quite experienced at caring for rescued animals (even those who are hurt, up to a point), having taken in all kinds of species of them in and nursed them back to health, since she was a child and has a good knowledge of herbs. That doesn't stop us from taking in a sick or injured animal that truly needs a vet, though. I believe our past posts will show that we have done that quite often. Just like we make sure every one of the cats and dogs here are fixed.

We were horrified when Sophia (remember the female foster dog brought to us by one of the shelters who was supposedly "spayed," but wasn't and gave birth on the very day I had to be taken by ambulance to the hospital over my head injury?) The puppies who were born in February and had to stay in this little travel trailer with us for 3 weeks until they were old enough and it was warm enough for them to move outside to the pen with the nice insulated doghouse? Well, we intend to make sure that nothing of the sort ever happens here again! We also couldn't afford flea and tick control for everyone any other way than getting some help. There are quite a few things we could not afford to do without your help. It's just basically the two of us, if you only count what happens here on the ground with these animals, and don't count the contributions made by other group members in the groups I started to help to share information on factory farming.

So, you really are making a huge difference in the life of an animal when you make a donation, even if it is only a few dollars. I have mentioned before how there were several times that we were totally broke and out of dog food, wondering what to do, only to check the mail and find just enough in there to buy yet another 50 lb. bag to keep the dogs fed. Those few times that R.V. sent just $10 came at the exact moment help was desperately needed. I mention his initials because he knows this and does what he can when he can and deserves a very special thank you all his own. Just like several others do who donate regularly, even if it is just a small amount, but I talk to them quite often just as friends, and they already know how much they are appreciated. Sometimes that is just what we need, and it really does make the difference of whether or not we can buy food that week or not. Not as often now as it was before, but it still happens, especially when we have some extra expense not budgeted for, like our car breaks down or something. I mean, we just had to put new brakes on the car. Unexpected, but necessary. Just like when the rat chewed the wiring to the fuel injectors in it recently, and we had an appt. in Hot Springs the very next day. Had to be fixed, and had to be fixed that day, regardless. I don't think I actually have to invoke the saying of "Sh*t happens." Every one of you knows that.

Anyway, I will close this post out now so that we can get started on finishing cleaning up after the work done today so that we are ready to begin again tomorrow and so that we can eat something, as we are starving! But, I will be back very soon to finish updating you. We have just been so pressed for time and running around like crazy for the past couple of months to get this thing dried in and to the point where we can at least camp out in it (which we are doing now - we only still have the trailer because we don't have the house wired yet and need the power, though the extension cord thing is getting old, and we are tired of flipping breakers!)

Keeping ours and your fingers crossed, we will be in there full-time and this trailer dragged out of here within the next couple of weeks now that we finally have this delivery here and will know exactly where the appliances will go so that we can install the plugs and plumbing in the right places. It won't be finished by then - not by any means, but it will be far enough along for us to camp out in and finish at our leisure. Just the bedroom loft space is more than we have in this cramped little trailer. So, we will work on finishing that out next after we get the flooring down for the appliances to sit on and get the place wired, plumbed, insulated, and all. Laura is being very careful to do this right, as we will probably never get another chance to redo anything because of finances. Not unless we have another miracle like this one. She is paying a little more here and there to make sure of that, especially since we are both now unable to work enough to earn any kind of a living and will only degenerate worse as time goes on.

Hell getting old, isn't it? But, I guess that's what happens when you treat your body the way I have during the past years and do the hard physical labor I did for so long. And, of course, poor Laura with the damage from the car wrecks, especially when she was hit by the 18-wheeler, is pretty much done for. Her last MRI showed continued irritation and degeneration of the disks in her back, though we were glad to find out that she didn't need back surgery, as the Dr. had feared. (Needless to say, neither of us are supposed to be doing any of this kind of work, and the doctor isn't really happy about it and is advising against it (though he understands reality, and is mainly making sure that we take it as easy as possible and pace ourselves - he was pretty upset with our physical condition the last time he saw us, as we looked rough, had lost weight, and were just generally run down, though we assured him that the biggest rush of work was over and temporary now that it was dried in and that we would slow down very soon), but how else could we get the house built? We sure couldn't afford to pay to have the whole thing built, even though we have paid some people for certain help, especially enlisting the expertise of a contractor for the tricky stuff - you will see pics of him, too. He was great, and we couldn't have done this thing right without him. He was worth every penny.

Anyway, let me close this out and get out there and get to work again. I've been coming in and out to do this, as it has taken longer than I had first planned, so really Laura is the one who has been stuck in here most of the day typing away (though she also had to come out and work, too, especially when the delivery people came and needed signatures, and she also supervises to make sure everything is done the way she wants it done), with me popping in every few minutes to tell her what I want to say. And I am about ready to take a break for supper, when I will read the whole post to make sure it says what I want it to and just to have one extra set of eyes looking for typos. She likes me to do that before she hits "publish."

But, at least the hardest and most important part is over - it is dried in and not still rotting away on us. (There was a LOT more rotten that had to be redone than we first thought there was - not just the subfloor, but in some places all the way through the floor joists and down to the support beam, and in one place, the sill, as well as some of the bottom plates of the walls sitting on the floor, and at that time, we were really glad we had hired the contractor so that it could be fixed right before resuming building on top of that mess.) But it is finally dried in now and the rot stopped, so we can slow down a bit now. After another week or two, we won't be paying anyone else to help and will finish the inside and the rest of the outside ourselves at a MUCH slower pace than we have done this other stuff, as we have literally worked until we dropped some days and lost quite a bit of weight and sleep doing so.

So, anyway, until I get back to you, at least you have an inkling of what has been going on, that I am still alive and kicking and, even though busy as hell working on building our house, still involved in my activism, and you now know about the new subscription service. If there is any more info we need to let you know about it once we have had more time to check it out, we will let you know. And, like I said, be sure and let me know of ANY troubles at all you might have with the new service.

Until then------

Keep being the wonderful and caring people that you are. And if you have emailed me and I have not gotten back to you, you now know why. I will do so just as soon as possible. Thank you all for your caring, patience, and understanding. This house has been a dream for all of Laura's life since she was a child, and she has really sacrificed a lot and worked really hard to get it. I am so glad that she finally is getting it and that we can finally get out of this falling-apart travel trailer. As for me, well, I just never thought I would ever live in a place like this. Never have and never thought that I would. I can't wait until it is finished. We will throw a big open house party at that time with all vegan food and no alcohol - just good clean fun and lots of grinning, hugging, and jumping up and down. (Okay, Laura and her mother have already done that part of it just thinking about it when we first started, but they and we all will do it again big time when it's all done.)

And, yes, we have already put in a doggie door, so that the dogs will be able to come and go freely, as opposed to staying outside. (In fact, that is how George showed up. We were camping out in there when Laura found hinm inside the house when she woke up the next morning, all scared, lonely, and HUNGRY! He is so sweet, and he and Laura's daughter really formed quite a bond when she was here camping out in the house with us recently - her week-long visit was the biggest part of the reason for the big hurry to dry it in. George slept not only in her room every night, but in her bed with her. Yes, he is already spoiled rotten, but then which animal on this place isn't? Ha ha! Just got to potty-train him, as he really leaves big piles! Yuck!

More later....

I promise. :)

Long Overdue Update - Fosters, and Personal Stuff

2006-04-08T08:23:00.000-06:00

Well, today we are taking the three neutered male foster dogs out to try to be adopted into good homes. Sugar Boy (the pit mix), Dusty (the black one that has the red mange), and Jake (the other black one who has been so destructive, tearing everything up and having a wonderful time chewing everything within sight and trashing up the woods). You see, despite our best efforts, we have been completely unable to keep any of these three dogs in a pen.

Jake would sit there and work for days at a corner of the pen and go at the wire until he finally made a hole for himself and get out, so we finally gave up and just left him out with our dogs to roam and play (despite the fact that there were two strands of wire on the pen he was in - both hog wire and chicken wire, as it was really built to hold puppies (not grown dogs) whenever we had a litter of them and is the yard where we put Sophia and the puppies after the little ones were big enough to go outside). Jake and our dog, Junior made especially good friends, and he would also occasionally play with Chakra, Junior's mother. So, since he was so much happier, we just left him out to run and play and be happy, as opposed ot being so miserable in a pen that he worked all of the time on a way to get out.

Dusty and Sugar Boy dug big - really big - craters all in the yard they were in and kept digging out. That yard is just completely ruined and will have to be completely redone before it will ever hold another dog again. We kept filling the holes in with rocks and chunks of cinder blocks, so then they started going over, so we decided to try just leaving them out, under supervision, to see how they got along with everyone else and hoping that it would be like the case of Jake and be just fine. That did go just fine for awhile, but then one day Sugar Boy jumped on one of the two other foster dogs that Warm Hearts had brought us (poor little Bill, who we had finally let out one day when Laura was in there cleaning out his pen and he got by her, and since he was the happiest we had ever seen him his whole time here - running in circles all over the yard and playing with Junior and Jake instead of huddling sadly in the corner of the doghouse - we just didn't ever have the heart to put him back in there once she was done) and really hurt him, almost killing poor little Bill that one day. Then, we locked up poor Bill again as well as Dusty and Sugr Boy, but Sugar Boy and Dusty got back out again a day or two later, and it wasn't long before Sugar Boy got Spaz, though luckily not nearly as bad, though poor Spaz was hurt and did have a very hard time even walking for about a week. We took him to the vet after he started getting a big swollen place on his chest next to one of his front legs just to be sure he was okay, and he is - just mainly sore and swollen, but very few teeth marks. After that incident, we put Sugar Boy in one of those chain link kennels that Laura's sister had brought up from Shreveport just in case it was needed, but he even got out of that by grabbing the links of wire and unraveling them until he even got out of it, too, so he has been out roaming free for around a week now, though we have very, very carefully watched when Bill and Spaz went outside to go to "do their business." (Both of them have now moved up to Laura's mother's inside, as her mother has decided to adopt Spaz, and her sister has decided to adopt Bill.)

We are also taking the three male puppies with us this morning, along with the adult males, to try to find homes for them. All of them are going to be at one of the local grocery stores (Bob's in Mt. Ida, if you happen to be a local reading this), where For the Sake of Animals (who brought us these dogs, if you remember) is having an "adopt-a-shelter-dog day." We are just hoping for the best. We know that they have to go, as there have been too many incidents, besides just the incredibly large expense of caring for all of these dogs, but we are so very sad about it and extremely worried about what kind of homes they will ultimately go to. But, having exhausted all means of finding them homes ourselves by asking all friends, relatives, and even animal-loving strangers in stores and wherever else we could think of, as well as making many, many appeals all over the web to find them homes, we have just had no luck in doing so. It's just so hard to place a grown large dog, especially when you live in the kind of rural area that we do (not to mention that we have already placed so many after taking in so many dumped dogs - we have just used up all of the willing people we know).

We live so far away from anywhere, that even if a person online in a city were to agree to take one of them, it is a logistical nightmare to get the dog there, though we know it can be done through volunteer networks who do this sort of thing, each driving a leg of the journey, handing the dog off to each other to eventually get them to wherre they are going. We would have even driven the entire journey ourselves to place one of them if it had only been a state or so over, even if it had been far enough to require an overnight stay or a turn-around that simply took all day and night to drive it, but we haven't even been able to set up anything like this. Not one single person has written to say that they will take one of these dogs.

They are pretty sure that they will have no problem placing the puppies, as everyone likes to adopt cute little puppies, but the large dogs, especially with their "issues," are not going to be so easy to place, and especially not with people who will be as patient and loving as we have been with their eccentricities (so, if you are reading this and are just now seeing this appeal and how far we are willing to go to make sure they are properly placed, let us know ASAP, and we will let the shelter know, as we don't expect them to have much luck - last time they tried this at this location, they sat out there all day long and didn't even give away one single large dog. Not one. And, you very well may save a life, especially Dusty's, as they might not be willing to do the work and go through the expense to care for him and heal him, as they are now at over 150 dogs, whereas when we got these they only had over 100. To tell the truth, we are considering very hard telling them that if they do not find a home for him and intend to put him down, that we will take him back and try to heal him ourselves and get him adoptable if it is the only way to save his life, especially since we have already gotten him neutered and gotten his rabies shot and had him so long that we have grown to love him so very much. With the rest of them gone, we would be able to afford that one, and Laura's mother has said that she would agree to help us do it if necessary, as she has gotten very attached to him, too, and does not want to see him killed after everything we have been through, as he is so very sweet and loving and has NO "issues" at all except his red mange, which is NOT contagious to other dogs, in case you did not know - it's not THAT kind of mange, and no one else has gotten it, depite the fact that Sugar Boy has lived and shared a pen with him). He won't even hurt cats. The first time he saw one, he ran away scared and yelping! He gets along with every dog here, even the ones that are hard to get along with, like Sugar Boy, loves children, is just fine inside or outside. Just the mange problem - otherwise the perfect dog, except for not wanting to be in a pen all of the time, and can you blame him?

But we are still especially worried about homes for all of the grown ones - very worried. We are worried enough about the puppies, especially as they are the right breed for hunters to be attracted to, and the vast majority of them don't take very good care of their dogs at all and are the most likely to shoot one if it doesn't "perform" well. But, I mean, how many people are going to put up with a dog like sweet Jake tearing up everything in sight? He has torn up Laura's sister's tent, along with the bedding and other belongings that were in it, gotten into Laura's mother's shed and torn up stuff in there, gotten into our recyclables and carried them off into the woods over and over again, keeping us having to retrieve them over and over again and put them back where they belong (especially the plastic jugs and bottles). He has even carried off tools, like hammers and such! He has to be quite a young dog, just coming out of puppy-hood to be this playful and to have such a desire the chew up everything in sight! And, as annoying as that part of his personality can be at times, all puppies are like this, and he is the friendliest and sweetest dog you could ever hope to meet. He isn't even shy with strangers. He just loves everybody! We will probably miss him the most. (Laura is crying once again at just the thought of him going, as we really badly wanted to find someone we knew to take him so that we could visit him often because we became so attached to him.) But we really just don't have any choice about this.

It isn't just the destruction and the expense and all of the other trouble that they have been, but there is also the simple fact that Laura's mother has had enough and put her foot down about this, and after all, it is her place that we live on, so all of us who live here have to go by the few rules she has or makes. And, there is also the fact that For the Sake of Animals never lived up to their end of the deal (any more than Warm Hearts did). Although they did pay to get the dogs neutered and provided food a few times, we have had them since September, and they never did come out to pick them back up like they said they would when they had previous days like today when they were adopting dogs out, just like they didn't keep up their end of the deal as far as providing all of the food and having this whole deal cost us nothing. And just like the fact that Sophia was supposed to be a spayed female when they brought her, yet she still dropped a litter of puppies who have cost us a fortune to care for, especially during the time that we were having to bottle-feed two of them every few hours. That puppy formula is expensive! Just like the regular puppy food we have been buying for them after they were weaned is more expensive than the regular dog food, and since they are all growing so fast, they eat like there is no tomorrow!

So, this is kind of a bittersweet day for us. We are relieved to be finally having at least some of these dogs taken off of our hands, as this was never supposed to be a "forever home," but only to serve as a foster home until a permanent one for each animal could be found. But, since we have had them for so much longer than we ever anticipated and gotten to know and love each and every one of them, we will still miss them. And, worst of all, we will always wonder and worry about where they go and what kind of home they end up in. When you are dealing with dogs that come from backgrounds that are so bad that the dogs end up at Animal Control to be put to sleep, you know for a fact that the home they came from was not a good one or they never would have been there in the first place. I mean, Dusty had red mange. Sophia's eyes were so crusty, red, inflamed, and so infected that it took us quite a while to get them healed up, so she had to be living in completely filthy conditions. And Sugar Boy, though he has never been any kind of a danger to a human here (not even growling at us, even when we made him do something he didn't want to do, like return to a pen he had escaped from), he has been very leery of us and wary of anything and everything we have ever done, stiffening up completely when we would catch him to put the leash on him to lead him back to the yard almost as if we were going to beat him or do something equally if not worse to him for escaping in the first place, although petting him is enjoyed andnot taken as threatening as long as he is in a pen. But, the last time he had gotten out and attacked Spaz and we had to put him in that kennel, he just ran from everyone, letting no one get close to him. Laura just finally kept circling around him in the woods and cutting him off wherever he tried to go to escape her until he finally just gave up and stopped trying to get away and just stood there, letting her wrap her arms around him until someone could get there with a leash. He wouldn't even accept the treats she had in her hand - just stood there dejectedly waiting for whatever punishment he must have expected (but never came).

This whole foster home thing has been a very emotional time for every person on the place. Even when you are mad at the behavior, you love the dog and can hardly blame them for acting the way they do, given who-knows-what background they came from. They didn't even have names when they arrived. All we knew about them was that they were to die the very next day if we couldn't/wouldn't take them in since For the Sake of Animals was full, as was the Humane Society.

(There should also be a correction made here about the Humane Society of the Ouachitas. We were told by the woman from For the Sake of Animals, as you may recall reading in an earlier post, that these dogs actually belonged to them and that they were a kill shelter, but we found out otherwise after actually going out there to try and bring these dogs to them a few weeks ago after Laura's mother said that they had to leave. The man who runs the place is not the same man who ran it back when the arrangements were made for these dogs, so he knew nothing about them and said that they were not his dogs and that we had been lied to by For the Sake of Animals after he called and confirmed that they had indeed come from Animal Control, and then he also told us then that they did not kill, though he did admit that they would have put Dusty down due to the mange. So, anyone local reading this blog should feel comfortable dealing with the Humane Society, as the man who ran it before was fired, the guy who runs it now is very, very nice, and THEY DO NOT KILL DOGS THERE!!!)

Now, you may be wondering about what will happen to Sophia. Well, according to the woman from For the Sake of Animals, she told Laura that they would come tomorrow and pick her up and get her spayed before she had any more puppies again, and then they would work on finding a home for her now that she has been rehabilitated and better socialized as well. And, as for the female puppies, well, Laura was told that if all of the male puppies were adopted out today, that they would come and pick them up as well. They do not adopt out a female dog, not even a puppy, without spaying them first, which is proper and responsible, as all shelters should be. They will adopt out male puppies who haven't been neutered, but they provide some kind of a voucher deal and require the person adopting them to have them brought back to be neutered within 30 days. But they don't take any chances with females. Every female is spayed first before being placed permanently, as the overpopulation problem that causes so many dogs to end up in shelters and at Animal Control (or dumped or shot in the woods) is directly due to having too many dogs around here living with people who are too irresponsible to make sure that they get their dogs fixed. Sure, most of the people around here are poor, but twice a year there are low-cost spay/neuter clinics advertised in the papers, and even then, in special cases like ours, the shelters can usually find sponsors who will pay for the cost of the discounted surgery (plus they get a rabies shot, too). So, really, there is no excuse for anyone not having the procedure done, especially as the group working in our county is even willing to come to the person's home and pick up the animal, get the surgery done, and return the animal after it is over later in the day if the person has no way to get the animal to them. Warm Hearts (who brought us Spaz and Bill, but for some reason also quit bringing food, and even worse, never even showed up with the forms to authorize us to take them in and get them neutered, though Laura's mother paid for Spaz to be neutered since she decided to adopt him, but which is not an option for her sister for Bill since her sister has no income and will have to wait for one of the spay/neuter clinics and have a sponsor like we did to get it done, apparently) really does go out of their way to try and help the dogs in this county the best they can, even though they have no shelter and depend completely upon foster homes and the kindness of strangers to do what little they can do to stem the tide of unwanted dogs being dumped and shot. They just don't have the kind of budget that the shelters in neighboring Polk County do, as this county just doesn't have anywhere near the same number of people in it, being about 75% National Forest and another 10-15% being owned by Weyerhauser. They do what they can, but it isn't nearly enough to get anywhere near to the point of taking care of the overpopulation problem.

That's why we have worked with them before, spending the whole day with them when we took in animals to the spay/neuter clinic so that we could help them take care of the dogs who were there and needing to be comforted as they woke up and then walked around before they could go home, since their people were not there. We felt like it was the least we could do, especially as they had been so kind as to find us sponsors to pay for getting Princess and the cats fixed. (Chakra and Sweetie, our other two female dogs were spayed at the vet, with the bill being picked up by PETA after we told them of our plight, as you may recall if you have been reading this blog that long, as the times of the clinics always seemed to fall about a month later than they went into heat, leading to each of them having a litter of puppies after we had made an appt. that one year, delivering a day apart in February during an ice storm after Laura's mother's Newfoundland male broke a cedar post holding him in his pen so that he could get to them and leaving us with both mothers and 20 puppies up inside this little 28' travel trailer for the whole 3 weeks until the babies were ready to go outside into the pens. We and PETA both didn't want THAT to happen again! Though we dearly love Junior, and are glad to have him around, especially me, as he has decided to be "my" dog - or to put it another way, he has decided that I am "his" person, even though he dearly loves Laura, too - it certainly would have been better if we had not had to contribute to the already overwhelming overpopulation problem by giving away so many puppies and going through the same ordeal as we are going through today, never knowing what kind of lives they will ultimately live - or not.).

Also, just to keep you all up-to-date on the other situations going on around here:

I am continuing to recover from my accident. I still have dizzy spells, especially if I look up. I have regained most of the use of my right hand, though it is nowhere near as strong or as dexterous as it was before the accident when the tree hit me in the head. I still have problems with, well, basically just being a bit clumsy, shall we say. I stumble sometimes and run into things, sometimes resulting in knocking things over or even falling. I also have a tendency to spill things, especially carrying that first cup of coffee in the morning. Occasionally my hands will still shake. And, even more rarely, something will start to try and trigger one of those pseudo-seizures, though I have not had a full-blown one in a long time. They stopped a couple of weeks after the accident. But, to give you an idea of what happens now (and this is still rare, you understand), the other day I was sitting in a chair in the front yard of a friend's house who is working on our broken-down vehicle, and he was flipping through the pages of a car parts magazine/catalog as I watched, and that started me to twitch a bit. I said something immediately, though, and he stopped immediately, and so did the twitching. And, a couple of times when I would go up to Laura's mother's for supper and see Laura's sister's boys playing their video games, the flashing lights would do the same thing. I have not been able to play my own video games since this accident happened. That is not just due to the flashing problem, as we play different types of games that don't do that the way those kids' games do, but my eyesight is still really bad, and I just don't see very well, many times having double vision. I also am just not able to be able to react as fast as I once did, as my reflexes have been affected, so when the enemy comes to attack me, I have a lot of trouble trying to even grab my units to try to defend myself, so I always just end up quitting the game rather than lose and ruin our perfect winning streak. (We have never lost a game on this one, and that matters since this particular game keeps track of such tings and rewards you with medals for winning X number of games in a row. I am not about to mess that up, as we have built up a large number of wins, already having earned several medals for this and accomplishing other things - the game is Command and Conquer Generals Zero Hour, as we got the deluxe edition with all 4 disks, two for regular Generals and two for the expansion pack of Zero Hour, for you curious fellow gamers - our favorite type of game is RTS [real time strategy for you non-gamers, where you build big armies with many different types of units and fight terrorists. We also have Real War and the expansion pack of Rogue States, too, for you gamers, aliens {like in Starcraft, and yes, we do have the expansion of Brood War, too}, or whomever the enemy happens to be. I like first-person shooters a bit, like the Rainbow Six series, too, though Laura doesn't, so we don't have many of those and don't play them so often.].).

Anyway, I have been a gamer for a very long time, as has Laura, though she had never played RTS before getting with me, and is the first woman I have ever been with that actually enjoyed playing these games with me, which has been wonderful for me and our relationship since it is something we enjoy doing together - I have to admit that she is very, very good at these RTS games - so I really badly miss my games. They were one of the ways I had of coping with stress and my aggression problems, and, believe it or not, a psychiatrist actually recommended me playing these games to help me deal with my stress and the tendency to get aggressive and hostile and feel like breaking things (in the past, actually doing so before getting psychiatric help - I don't need to do this as much now, as that isn't such a problem anymore) as a way of being able to get out all of that pent-up stress, frustration, rage, etc. and not hurt anything or anyone. And it has actually worked, though to be quite honest, when I first started playing games on a computer rather than one of those game systems like a Playstation or Xbox or something, I did go a bit overboard, as I had never before in my life played a video game with such wonderful graphics, much less one where you could play so many different games, build so many units, and certainly not have the game "learn" from you and not act in the exact same manner every time you played it, making it more challenging and fun! In fact, to be quite honest, before Laura and I became activists, we had this computer custom-built just for playing these games because the requirements to play a game like Zero Hour just can't be played on a computer you buy off the shelf at the store without being upgraded with a ramped-up video card that doesn't dump all of the RAM onto your processor and things like that. In fact, the guy who built it for us told us that he had had many very upset customers come in to him who had just gone out and spent even more buying one off the shelf than we had spent having this one custom-built, only to get home and discover that it would not play the games they wanted to play. And, even now, just 3 years after buying the top of the line that was available back at that time (with a Pentium 2, 512 MB RAM, and a video card with 64 MB), when we were far exceeding anything that any game required to play it (as Laura knew how fast even the "top of the line" would become obsolete and not be good enough in a relatively short time), we are now at the low end of what something like Generals Hour requires, so likely we will have to deal with that situation in the next year or two if we intend to keep being able to order more and better games and keep up with the ability to play them, as even Zero Hour will occasionally get jerky on us and every once in a while completely lock up the whole computer - and I don't have to tell you how frustrating THAT is, especially to you gamers who have been playing for a couple of hours, plotting your strategy and getting everything lined up just right and actually starting to move in for the main attack that will finish off your enemy.

Anyway, the whole point of that long paragraph is just a way to demonstrate (especially to gamers who understand the kind of level of alertness and reflex action you have to have to be able to play such a game) how far I have yet to go before I fully recover, if I even do (which is still in doubt). But I have been able to resume some of my duties around here, like feeding and watering the animals (at least 90+% of the time), I can now at least dress myself and fix my own food and pour my own coffee (even if my hands shake enough to spill it on the way to sit down occasionally), dress myself and brush my own hair, and things of that nature - you know, the basics of taking care of yourself and all.

Also, we have finally - FINALLY!!!!! - resumed work on our house! No, we are not doing it all by ourselves this time, and no, I can not do most of the stuff on that as I did before, since I lack not only the strength, but the ability to even hit a nail without a LOT of misses, but I am trying. My doctor told me that the more I continued to try and use that hand, the better it would get. I finally got to where I could accomplish all of the little piddly exercises that were first assigned to me, like simply being able to try and take my thumb and touch the tip of each finger on that hand with it, pick up pages of a book with a spoon until eventually I could pick up the whole book, and things of that nature - VERY simple things that were extremely frustrating at the time when I could not do even those things and had to have Laura zip up my pants after...well, you know, relieving myself...put my shoes and socks on, and basically do everything for me. The one thing I refused to let her do for me was to "hold it" when I needed to relieve myself or "clean me up" after doing the other - NO, even for her, WAAY too humiliating for me!!!

But, I AM slowly (oh! every so slowly - way too slow to suit me, as I have never been one to be taken care of - it grates on me not to be able to take care of myself and make my own way in life, being totally dependent on another person for everything since I cannot work at all - I just can't STAND not being able to take care of myself and having to ask for each and every thing I need from someone else, especially a woman [yes, I know that you feminists don't like those last three words of that, but I am being honest here, and that is just the way I was brought up and taught - that you, as the male, are the one who is responsible for being the one to have the job and bring home the money and not just sit on your butt and live off anyone, and especially not your woman, as that was thought of as being lazy and low-down.).

But I have really been trying very, very hard to work on my feelings about that, and Laura keeps reminding me that this is not my fault because I am injured and simply cannot work, no matter how much I want to, any more than she could when we first got together and I supported her. It's just very hard to overcome a lifetime of conditioning that society put onto you and the ideas that have been drilled into your head since childhood. Very hard. Very frustrating. But, I am getting somewhat better with that, too, though it still grates on me every time I have to ask her for as much as a drink when we are on the road since I am so used to being able to simply pull out my own wallet with my own money in it that I earned and simply buy it for myself. That's bad enough, but then also having her foot the bill for all of my medical bills and prescriptions, buy all of the food, pay all of the utilities, and, worst of all, to have her actually pay what she could on my child support, just really rankles.

The last one is the worst, as that is my responsibility, one I take seriously, and when I worked, I never, ever missed paying that. I even covered his health insurance and went above and beyond what was decided in court and spent extra bringing him things since his mother just still couldn't (or wouldn't - I am not sure which, as the last time I saw her she had a major drinking problem, though that was years ago, and people DO change - look at me!). In short, I took my responsibility very seriously and always made sure that my son has everything he needed, whether the court told me to do it or not. Of all of the things that I cannot pay for by myself, that is the one that bothers me the very most. It eats away at me, especially as I don't want to be sen or thought of as a "dead beat dad," because I am not. If I had ANY way of paying it, I would. I don't even own any assets to sell that I could use to do that with, as every single thing I have (which isn't much) Laura or her family has bought for me (or owns themselves that I just get to use), including the clothes on my back. Laura did that for me even before we were a couple and were still just friends. In fact, her ex gave me some of his clothes that didn't fit anymore, and then Laura took me to one of the resale shops and got me a few more just so that I would have something to go to work in after my trailer burned and they took me in and gave me a room to stay in rent-free, and even fed me.

I told you before that I was one of the many strays that Laura has taken in, and I truly was. She is just that kind of person. Anyone in need, human or non-human, she does her very best to help, even if she has to go through her own stuff and give it away. I even knew of her raiding her cabinets of food once when a young single mother with two small children and who barely survived on welfare and food stamps, with no child support coming in, didn't have enough food to feed her children nutritionally complete meals for the rest of the month, just as she has opened her refrigerator and pantry and given her own food to dogs and/or cats who wandered up when she had no money to go out and buy food for them.

Have I said before what a wonderful and caring woman Laura is and how very, very lucky I feel to have found her? And this that I have revealed in this post is really only a very small portion of the kinds of things she has done for me and others throughout her life since she was but a small child. I mean, she even picked up litter and threw it in the trash when she was a toddler and still does this to this day, just as she picks up cans out of parking lots, crushes them, throws them in our vehicle, and brings them home to be recycled. She even also always searches out a cart at a store that some lazy person has left out in the parking lot to bring into the store with her just so that the guy who has to do that has one less to have to gather up and bring in, and in some cases, opens up a parking place for someone to park that is blocked by one.

For a very, very long time, I just truly didn't - couldn't - believe that such people actually existed in this world. I truly believed that if someone did something nice for you that they must want something in return - that they had some kind of an agenda. That always made me wary of doing favors because you never knew what kind of favor would be asked of you later down the line in return. And, you know, even after all of the years that Laura and I have been together, it is only now that it is even starting to sink in that she really is just what she seems to be - a kind, loving, warm-hearted person who does nice things with absolutely no thought as to what she might get back out of it. I mean, just now, within the past few months has this been starting to finally penetrate the social conditioning that was so deeply programmed into me. And, what's shameful, is that I still catch myself at times wondering what the "catch" is - waiting for the other shoe to fall, as they say. Because every single time that anything at all good has happened in my life, all it meant that it was followed by a letdown.

I guess, no I KNOW, that this belief has been what has led to a good bit of the misery and troubles that I had in my life before Laura took me in and just opened her home and heart to me, asking absolutely nothing in return. I mean, at first when I no longer earning a steady paycheck at Tyson, I truly felt like any help I received had to be earned in some way. If her mother fed us a meal, I did something to help her out around the house. Same with her grandmother. But those were small things. Ever since I got hurt and could not only not earn one red cent of my own money doing odd jobs, much less take care of a single chore around here, even having to have Laura's help in dressing myself, for goodness sakes, and waiting on me hand and foot - getting my coffee and making me a sandwich before I could do such things, for instance - I went into a great depression and felt totally worthless. I felt like I "wasn't a man" anymore. And it didn't matter how many times I was told differently or reminded how much I helped Laura when the situation was reversed and she could not only not earn any sort of a living, but didn't even have the strength to pour herself a cup of coffee if the pot was more than half full because it was too heavy back when she was recovering from the 18-wheeler hitting her car and breaking so many bones and all, and even how back then I paid for taking care of her son, who was living with us at the time - I mean, the situation really WAS totally reversed when we got together! - it just went against everything I had been conditioned to believe was right for so long that I have to confess that I even at one time thought about going out and putting a bullet through my head, thinking I was washed up and feeling so ashamed. I certainly didn't want people going behind my back and saying things like, "Virgil has gotten so lazy that he just sits there and lives off his old lady and doesn't lift a finger, not even to do any chores or anything." I have heard that so many times, and that is exactly what my stepfather did when I was growing up. Lived off my mother's welfare check and food stamps, then sent me to work at 14 catching chickens in the middle of the night, even though I had to go to school the next day and walk to and from where we went to work, even after doing all of my chores after I got home from school and hid out to do my homework (he didn't think I needed to go to school once I was big enough to go to work and bring home money - that it was a waste of time and would even tear up a book if he caught me reading it because I wasn't working and he viewed it as "wasting time." Needless to say, he didn't have much education and can't read.) But I did graduate, just as I promised my mother and my grandfather (rest his soul) that I would.

I know that this has been a long post, but it has been a while since I had written, and I really felt like the people who have been reading this blog from the very beginning and who have been writing personal messages of concern deserved a much fuller explanation of what has been going on that what I have said in the short answers I sent back that just basically said that I was "busy" working on projects, both personal and in the movement. No need to touch on what work I have been doing for the movement, at least not in detail, as it is the same as always - just acting as the consultant that I have come to be, answering questions and giving advice, doing interviews, etc. And, of course, like I said, during this time, I have also devoted a good bit of time to working on the book. In fact, every tape I own that fits my little tape recorder is full on both sides just waiting for Laura to transcribe them. She already did that with the things I had written before receiving the tape recorder as a gift from her mother last Christmas, but with all that has been going on, she just hasn't had the time to do that tape part yet. As you can see from all of the stuff I have talked about above, she has been so busy taking care of ALL of the responsibilities around here, even directing the crew building our house and making sure they know what we want done, not to mention making sure they have all of the materials they need)we spent over 3 hours in Lowe's a couple of days ago and would have been there longer if they hadn't been closing and telling everyone to finish up their purchases and get out! LOL!

So, I guess now you are about as up-to-date as I can manage and still get these puppies bathed, making sure there are no ticks on them and that they smell fresh and clean and are more likely to be adopted out to good homes. Experience has told us that if a well-dressed person driving a nice car and who looks like the type of person able to give a dog a good home comes up, acting so nice and loving towards the puppies and even going so far to pick one out, even so much as sees a flea or a tick on the puppy, that most of them will walk away, not wanting to infect their home and yard or get their nice clean car dirty with dirty little feet and bodies and bugs, so it is time for us to head up to Laura's mother's and bathe the three male puppies to give them the very best chance we can possibly give them at getting the very best home. Because people who don't care if a dog has fleas or ticks on them is much less likely to ever do anything to ever control them, and that's NOT the kind of home we want for these little guys. It was two of the males who were the ones we had to bottle-feed, so we got attached to them even more than we did the others. We love them all, but there is just a special sort of bonding that happens when you hold that little baby in your hands, even before their eyes are open, and feed them with a bottle. Laura has done this many times, both with puppies and kittens (and even some orphaned baby squirrels once!), but I never had, and it made me feel feelings that I had never felt before about a puppy. I mean I have always loved puppies and done my best to properly care for them, but to bottle-feed one is on a whole new level. If you haven't ever done this, then there is simply no way for me to describe the feeling it gives you. It's just wonderful! :)

Oh, I hope they go to wonderful homes where the people are kind and loving, never harming them, only using positive reinforcement as a tool for training and any discipline they might need. It would be nice for the people to even have a couple of children, as the puppies have loved playing with Laura's sister's boys just about as much as the boys have loved playing with the puppies. Puppies and caring children who love animals and who have been brought up by the right sort of parents to always respect and take the uttermost care to never harm just go perfect together. That would be the ideal situation. A family who has a big yard to let them play in and do their business in, but who also lets the little guys inside and be a part of the family. It would be best if people took two puppies at the same time so that they could play together, but since there are only three males, that isn't even a possibility for at least one of them. Part of us wants to sit up there all day to watch over and get a "feel" for who gets these little guys to do our best to make sure, but then, especially since the grown dogs are involved and we have gotten so very attached to everyone, Laura and I know from experience just how hard it is to do this, especially with strangers simply walking into and out of a store. You just never know. Even with people you know well, there is still no guarantee that they will be well-cared for, as we have found out the hard way.

So, I will close this post now so that we can do what must be done. But I do want to ask one wish of anyone reading this.

Please direct your complete, undivided, and concentrated attention, positive wishes, affirmations, prayers, and everything within the fiber of your being that these dogs and puppies will indeed go to good and loving homes. And please give just a little extra bit of a wish that Sugar Boy will, as there are still FAR too many people in these parts who would see that pit in him and think "fighter!" And even those who wouldn't, since he does have a history of attacking at least two dogs that we know of here, that he will go to a proper home where that isn't a problem (preferably one where he is the only dog), and since there is no way to keep him in any kind of a fence, no matter what you do, that they will not put him on a chain and just leave him out in the yard. Or even worse, that he will do something, and someone will shoot him. We are REALLY worried about him. We are worried about all of them, but he has the most potential to be abused and/or neglected, if not outright killed. Maybe even a little something special for Jake so that when (not if, but when!) he tears up things wherever he goes, that the people will be as understanding as we have been and not hit him for it. Just scold him a bit, smile, and shake their heads and wait on him to grow out of it. And, while I am at it, poor Dusty, who has the red mange. May he not be put down, but be treated for it livingly and properly by someone willing to do so.

Oh man, is this hard.

If you have an animal, please, PLEASE spay/neuter him/her and encourage everyone you know to do the same. We MUST stop this. MILLIONS of animals are euthanized every year in this country while more are bought at pet stores instead of being adopted from a shelter.

In other words, please be a part of the solution and not part of the problem.

Please. (Yep, you knew it - Laura's crying again.)

Our Babies - an Update

2006-03-01T01:59:00.000-06:00

**UPDATE: The pictures of the puppies, including one of the mother, Sophia, nursing them are posted at the photopage here:
http://cyberactivist.fotopages.com/?entry=722606

(I wrote the first part of this about how my feelings have changed while bottle-feeding a puppy in the wee hours of 2/26/06, even though we are just now getting it posted, as we have been extremely busy people, as you will soon see. It has been updated since then, though, to reflect new information. We finally moved the puppies outside for the first time today, but the little one discussed in this post still was brought back in this evening to do this all over again. He is so special. So cute. It will be hard to let them go.

And, yes, I am continuing to recover from my injury, albeit very slowly. I have a feeling that this will be a much longer and more frustrating recovery time than I had first suspected, no matter what the doctor said. Guess I should have listened. better. Oh well, I never was a very good patient.)

Tonight I take my turn staying up with our nine baby puppies (yes, there are now just nine, as one of them died after the first night - we are pretty sure it was a congenital heart defect, as he was always so cold all of the time). It's a real chore to see to all of their needs now that their mother has suddenly started drying up and refusing to feed them. However, it is also good therapy for me.

You see, it wasn't that long ago that I had forgotten a very important part of life. That part was called feeling. I had completely shut it off because it made what I did for a living down at Tyson every night so much easier. By feeling, I mean love, empathy, and just a general sense of well-being. Oh, I said the words and, in some cases, even went through the motions (I was a very good actor back then), but I never really felt the true feelings.

Well, it's kind of hard not to feel the feelings when you hold that little life in your arms and feel his/her (in this case his) heart beating against your chest. I have learned it more every day, but especially since I have been taking my turn bottle-feeding our littlest one who just hasn't grasped the ability to lick from a dish yet.

And, to tell the truth, I hope it stays that way for a while. I really am enjoying caring for my little brood.

The sad thing is that we are going to have to give them up for adoption soon. Money is so very tight around here, and we are already going through about 350 lbs. of dog food a week (not counting the three 50 lb. bags of chicken food). The dog food costs $10.50/bag+tax, and the chicken food is $5.45 for the corn, 6.10 for the scratch, and $8.15 for the Allway, per bag. Luckily Laura's mother helps with that part of it sometimes. (She is our best donator. But then, she is like us and cannot stand for an animal to go hungry.) That part, all added up, is just over $200/month, but now that we are feeding these puppies that puppy formula, the price has gone up even higher, as that stuff is about $16/can for the powder, and we go through at least a can of that per week, and are now buying dry puppy food as well to mix in with it, so we are spending closer to $300/month just for food for the animals now! That's about 40% of what we draw in every month to live off of. We obviously can't keep this up. Just as obviously, we just can't afford to keep them all. The fosters have to have homes, and the puppies must be adopted out as soon as they are old enough. But, what's even worse, though, is that the breed and look of the puppies will attract the hunters. I used to be a hunter myself, so I know what they look for, and I see it in these puppies. That in itself is not a good thing, but what's even worse is that hunting dogs around here are about the worst-treated dogs of all.

I have, too often than I can count, seen them chained out in the open with only a 55-gallon barrel for shelter. Not even any old rags for bedding or anything. They are lucky to eat 3 or 4 times a week, many of them are dumped out without food or water to roam in the woods in the mistaken thinking that it will make them better hunters, and if they don't perform like the hunter wants them to, a bullet in the back of the head is the best they can hope for. I've seen others live their lives in wire cages up off the ground in all kinds of weather, never even being able to touch the ground unless they are hunting. I believe I showed you how Larry Harmon, the Grannis Chief of Police treats his dogs (and he breeds them as well), AND THE WAY THAT HE "RAISES THEM" IS COMPLETELY SHAMEFUL! On his bio page it shows a picture of how these poor dogs live, just as he proudly claims on there that his hobbies include "raising and training hunting beagles." Not much of a life for a hunting dog, huh? And this is how the Chief of Police believes dogs should be treated! Do you see what kind of mindset we are up against? Life is cheap here.

Well, that's the simple reality of it around here. Even some of the cops don't treat their animals well. And, if you have some time to kill, you can follow some of Harmon's links to see just what he thinks about animals, which isn't pretty. He absolutely HATES animal advocates or anyone that would threaten his so-called "traditional" way of life. Is it any wonder he has made me his #1 target? He never liked me anyway, but after all of this Tyson stuff and animal rights stuff, that just made that even worse. He seems to have no conscience or limit to what he will do to "get me." At least Polk County, where he lives, does have two shelters (one a no-kill that brought the foster dogs - For the Sake of Animals - and The Humane Society of the Ouachitas, where they did start to kill when they got too full. Then they also have an Animal Control office, which definitely kills and who I saved these foster dogs from killing. What's weird, though, is that this is what I was told back then, though now I am being told that these dogs actually belong to the Humane Society, and not For the Sake of Animals, who brought them to me. All of this I have discussed before. It is just a sad, sorry sate of affairs when it comes to overpopulation problems here simply because not enough people are responsible enough to spay and neuter their dogs. Many even believe that a female MUST have at least one litter before being spayed. And, now that the low-cost spay/neuter program is having a hard time staying funded, we really have a problem.

Montgomery County, where I live, doesn't even have a shelter or an Animal Control office (as I have mentioned before). Stray or dumped dogs without a collar are just shot. And sometimes even the presence of the collar and name tag are no deterrent. The only hope dogs have over here is that someone like us will find them and take them in. In fact, someone just dumped yet another dog the night before last, though we have yet to find and catch the poor baby. Someone did come down here yesterday, saying that they had seen a dog wandering up in the road and wondering if he/she belonged to us. We have looked and called more than once, but have seen and heard nothing. Laura went running out there the very night it happened, as she had figured out what was happening when a car stopped in front of our driveway, a door opened, then a lady yelled, and then the car took off at high speed. When they turned around just up the road, Laura ran as fast as she could up the driveway to try and get a license plate number, but to no avail - they were driving too fast. So, she just stood in the road, calling and calling, but again. to no avail. We just hoped that she was wrong, but apparently not. We won't quit looking for the dog, though. Surely the poor dog will show up once he/she gets hungry enough. One more mouth to feed, but what else can we do???

So, just because we are without the needed funds to take care of these puppies after everything we have been through, these little guys and girls I've come to love so much may very well suffer this similar fate of hunting dogs in this area. We don't even have the funds to properly take care of the other foster dogs, as the rescue groups have stopped all support a while back, with the For the Sake of Animals telling us that they would just go ahead and let the Humane Society pick them all up and allow them to be euthanized since they were considered "unadoptable" (I believe the exact expression was, "Well, I've just washed my whole hands of this. They are then officially "your dogs now."). I can't blame them, though, even as much as I want to - when the donations aren't coming in, they aren't coming in, and everyone seems donated out since Katrina. We aren't getting much, either. Certainly nowhere near enough to feed everyone. We likewise haven't heard from Warm Hearts, the other loose network of people working as a kind of semi-rescue group operating in our county, who brought us Bill and Spaz, so not only is no more food coming from them either, but they haven't even been fixed yet.

It's just so heartbreaking to know that these cute little puppies may be about to suffer one of the worst lives a dog could ever hope to face. We have grown so very attached to them, and at first, had decided we would keep the two that would be the most attractive to hunters, but then had to rethink our decision, especially with me hurt and unable to do any kind of work at all. (maybe never again, according to my doctor - at least not enough to make a living wage on, which is very frustrating and not making me feel very good about myself - more like a burden than anything), and now I am actually costing us more in medical charges than before (no, I still don't have any kind of health coverage - we have to pay for it all in cash) So, there is just no way we can afford the food bill to keep them and save them from the hunters and their horrible ways of treating their dogs. No way. Oh, I so wish we could. It breaks both of our hearts to even think about it. Laura starts crying whenever we think about what may happen to these babies. But then I wish, too, that I could have the name and address of every single person who adopts them so that I can go and check on them and retrieve them if they are being mistreated, too. Can't do that, either. So, here we are, I guess - just stuck with another bad situation that is, again, someone else's fault for being irresponsible and this time that could have been prevented in this case if they had not LIED!!!

On that note, apparently the rescue groups have been working for several years to get the veterinarians to put a small tattoo on spayed females, as it is hard to see the scar after a year or more. Even ours doesn't do this. We had never even heard of it, but it is a good idea. So, if you are a vet, please take this idea into consideration. And, activists, please pressure your vets to do this so that not as many unwanted puppies are born, Thanks.

Just so that you all know - I am not begging for money, but am just hacked off and venting my frustration a little bit into cyberspace. Well, so much for life in the Ouachitas. You all have a nice day. Anyone want to adopt a cute little puppy? Pictures will be forthcoming now that they are outside - it's too dim in this trailer to take one and hope to have to come out okay, especially since most of them are black - the other three are white with black spots. They are just adorable. And, it's those that I am most worried about and wanted to keep from harm by just keeping them ourselves. Anyway, that's why there are no pictures yet. But there will be...

Anyway, now you are up to date and can see why we haven't been doing much of anything online for a bit now. What, with me recovering, and all of these puppies to care for, Laura has just about worn herself completely out. I didn't get to start being much of a help with the puppies until this past week or so. So, she has taken care of all of us, getting up at all hours of the night and nodding off at all hours of the day, when trying to do her job and type in the groups or answer emails and such during the day. There is just only so far you can push yourself, though. So, I have been trying to do my best to help out lately now that I can. It still never stopped her from waking up when they cried in the wee hours of the night for food - that's just the eternal mother in her, but at least the past few days or so, she could turn back over and go back to sleep while I took my turn at it.

I believe I am starting to learn what it is that makes her be the way she is, though - just so very loving. Holding that one little baby puppy and feeding him a bottle, while he was up against my chest, gave me such a wonderful feeling. I guess that is what real love feels like. And it feels good. Man, I hope that at least some of these little puppies go to homes where they are loved like that. The hardest part is the not knowing. I went through this the last time we had to give away puppies, and I am going through it again, after swearing that I would never go through that agony again. (lesson - never swear NOT to do something EVER AGAIN - it's the surest sign that you WILL have to do it!) But, as good as it feels to hold this puppy and love him, I still surely hope I never have to do this again - not one more time. If only those people hadn't lied when they dropped the mother off, telling everyone that she was spayed, none of this would have happened.

Please, please get your dogs spayed/neutered! Don't be a part of this problem!!!!!!!

Again, anyone want a puppy to give a wonderful, loving home to, and to spoil absolutely rotten??? We have plenty to choose from, and you would be saving them from a very uncertain and most probably unpleasant fate.....

I will LIVE!!!!! (plus more updated info)

2006-02-05T13:31:00.000-06:00

(Laura is writing for me today, as I am still having some problems thinking clearly and seeing clearly, though not as severe as before, mostly just having to take a lot of medicine that makes it hard to concentrate and think straight. But the seizures have stopped. I am just really sore and tired.)

Virgil is much better now. Although we did end up having to rush him to the hospital Thursday night after he fell out of a chair and hit his head again, knocking himself out and scaring the sh*t out of all of us, and then taking him back to the doctor Friday, he is going to be okay. He is no longer in danger of death anymore! It will just take a long time for him to heal. Thank goodness! Had us all scared to death there for awhile, but the doctor's help made a real difference and caught the problem in time. His new CT scan from the last ER visit was clean - no blood clots on the brain or anything, so he will be just fine - just in a lot of pain, and it will still take quite a while for him to regain the use of his right hand and things like that because of the pinched nerve and spine. But his head is okay now! That was by far the biggest concern we had. Whew!

I can finally rest without worrying myself half to death and staying up at all hours, never taking my eyes off of him. I have to say that I am still just completely exhausted. Everyone here has been finally resting after we returned from the doctor's office with the good news, as it has been a very hard and stressful time for all concerned. Anyway, just wanted to let you all know. I haven't had time to let you all know yet until today, but we did answer all of the kind and worried personal emails we received to put at least some minds at ease. I just didn't have time to update everyone else here via this blog, as all of the responsibilities around here have fallen squarely on my shoulders, even the simple things he cannot do for himself, like put a jacket on, buttoning his buttons, even sometimes just needing a shoulder to help him walk without falling since he still gets dizzy at times, though he is getting to where he can finally tie his own shoes pretty much. He is mostly using ones that have Velcro on them, though, which makes it much easier.

This has been a very scary and trying time for everyone, to say the least, but at least his new CT was clear, so no blood clot or bleeding on his brain! His hardheadedness can sometimes be a major pain in the butt for me to live with, but it has also been an asset, particularly in this case. ;) No doubt it has been a pain in the butt for Tyson and their ilk, too! Ha ha ha! ;)

You should also know that at the very time the ambulance arrived to take him to the hospital the "spayed female" foster dog we agreed to house until she could be rehabbed and placed wasn't spayed after all. Turns out that the people who turned her in lied. So, guess what? When my sister went to feed everyone for us while the ambulance was here and we were getting ready to leave for Hot Springs, she found that Sophia had delivered puppies! There were originally 11, one of whom was stillborn, and another who died today (just failure to thrive, though we did all we could to help, of course), but the rest are doing well and are up inside this tiny trailer with us in a box on a soft fluffy blanket, all comfy and warm and safe. So, now that makes 24 canines here!!!!!!! What will we ever do? These animals just keep right on coming, one way or another. Guess we will just do as we have always done - care for them, love them, and do our best to find good and loving homes for them. A bit crowded in this trailer, naturally, but I do have to admit that the sounds of newborn babies making their little cries just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I just love babies!!!!!!! :) And, at least this time it isn't 2 mothers with 20 baby puppies all at once!!!

I did call and inform For the Sake of Animals about this recent issue, since they were the ones who brought this particular dog to us, and the woman told me this morning that these 4 animals actually now belonged to the Humane Society and that For the Sake of Animals had their hands so full (about 100 dogs - due to Katrina mostly - and 2 horses!) and that since donations just weren't coming in, that she could not help us anymore. She was just going to call the Humane Society to come here and pick up everybody. Unfortunately, there is a big problem with that. They are a kill shelter. And a few of these dogs would be, without a doubt, deemed "unadoptable" and put down. The rest would be confined to tiny kennels, hoping that a home would come along for them. They would also take the place of animals who could be housed and put up for adoption, so I said, "NO WAY!" They are better off here. I told her to give them our number and that, if they agreed to pay for the spaying of Sophia (which they did), that we would either find the homes for these dogs ourselves or just have to keep whomever we couldn't do that for. So, as of today, these 4 dogs they brought are officially "ours" and, except for the help with the spaying, we will be responsible for everything else for their care. She does seem to think that the Humane Society could find the homes for the puppies, but I am not sure whether to trust them or not. I surely know that they would have better care here than there. They would be loved and socialzed and have a lot more room to run around and play in, as we have a yard for them with a doghouse (actually two now, since we have let Jake and Sophia out of theirs and have the one Virgil built for the roosters, who both died, the last one on Christmas). So, we are still thinking on what to do about that. They could find homes quicker, most likely, but in the meantime, their only quarters there are tiny kennels, whereas here, they would have a yard and a doghouse and more time and love than they would there in that crowded shelter.

And then, there is also the issue of enough money to feed everyone on our own now without the help of the rescue group, who has given us food from time to time, though nowhere near what we have been using. They had originally agreed to provide everything when we made the agreement, but they just couldnt keep it after Katrina hit. So, most of the cost of food has come either out of our own pockets or from the generous donations given by readers of this blog. And, given that Virgil has no way to pay for the extra medical bills we have had to take care of this month to get him seen and cared for, we are pretty tight right now as far as our monthly budget goes. But, if I have said it before a thousand times, I will say it again - NO animal will EVER go hungry here! I have done so before and will again give away my own food and do without before I let any animal here go hungry.

We are seriously thinking of applying to become a shelter. We have talked about going non-profit for some time now, but have also been given advice from other shelters and sanctuaries and such that it may not be the best thing to do because of all of the red tape and all, not to mention the IRS breathing down your neck all the time. We have been advised to keep donations coming in as "gifts" to avoid all of that, though we save all of our receipts we spend on the animals to prove where your donations go if anyone ever wants to see a full accounting, but I would hate to have one little mix-up and be horribly penalized, even being shut down, if we didn't dot every i and cross every t. The no-kill shelter I volunteered for when I was 14 was shut down for having too many animals (because of people dumping litters of them at night when they were closed), the animals were all put down, and the shelter closed, even though they did wonderful work and everyone was healthy and well-cared for. The health code just didn't allow them to have more than a certain number of animals, so they were shut down, as they ended up with about twice as many as was legal. I won't have that happen here. Also, we are worried about the problem that has besieged other small shelters/sanctuaries in rural locations - too many animals for us to care for properly. I am sure some of you have seen some of these stories in the news. People start a shelter, and then when others find out, they not only fill up quickly, but they also have people who will just dump animals illegally at the gate to the shelter, exceeding the limits of what care the shelter can give. Many of these animals are terribly sick and in need of immediate care. Someone calls in a tip, and then the people are demonized. The shelter gets shut down, the caring people branded as horrible, cruel, uncaring people who don't take care of their animals, they get criminal charges brought against them, have to pay restitution to the rescue groups that take in the sick animals that aren't euithanized immediately (some of whom were dumped at their door days before and that they had nothing to do with making sick), and then are the subjects of media articles and hate mail campaigns by angry activists. So, we will be giving this a LOT of thought before we decide whether to even try this or not. We will still expand our chicken sanctuary, although, obviously that project has been put off again, what with Virgil getting so badly hurt and all, but it will get done. I still have the donation for that project tucked safely away in the bank to pay for that, though I used part of it to take in Feisty to the vet to try and save his life, but it was a relatively small part that can be replaced relatively easily.

Anyway, we are still taking things easy around here for the next few days, as we didn't have much rest there for awhile. But Virgil and I didn't want everyone to keep worrying and sending in emails thinking that Virgil was in imminent danger of death. He isn't - not anymore. Whether it was due to the competence of the doctor cathching his problem in time or the fact that we had so many people pulling for him or both, it worked. And, frankly, I don't much care HOW it worked, only that it did work and that he will be okay.

Now begins the long time of recovery of the use of his right side. He probably won't ever be able to work a full-time job again any more than I can, according to the doctor, but then, then doctor had already told him that it was a remote chance he ever would anyway. This latest situation just pretty much seals that fate. But, if I know Virgil, and I do quite well, as many of you do too, this hardheaded determination of his will pull him through that as well, getting him healed up to at least continue his activist work and care for the animals here. I expect that he will exceed the expectations of the doctor and be back to his semi-regular self before too much longer.

Thank you again, everyone, for writing and letting us know how much you cared. It really did make a difference to both of us.

Another radio interview today! - updated (interview is tomorrow)

2006-02-01T13:15:00.000-06:00

===============================
UPDATE: This interview will be tomorrow. Reading the post below, you can see why we have been a bit rattled and got a bit mixed up. But this may actually work out better in that it gives you more notice. Hope you tune in or at least listen to it once it is archived on the site. We have been enjoying the last show Bob did for the past hour. Cool show! Ought to be fun! :)
===============================
Sorry I haven't posted in so long - I will explain it all in another post, but Laura and I will both be interviewed today for another radio show. Here are the details:

"GO VEGAN WITH BOB LINDEN"

- a project of 501©(3) International Humanities Center"

>>>on the radio Sundays>>>

1pm - 2pm KCEO-M-000 San Diego

1:30pm - 2:30pm KTYM-AM-1460 Los Angeles

6pm-7pm KQKE-AM-960 San Francisco Bay Area

>>>On-line ANYTIME at

www.GoVeganRadio.com

Now PODcasting

PO Box 40246
San Diego, CA 92164
818-623-6477
Bob@GoVeganRadio.com

While we were "on vacation" we also finished up an interview with Satya magazine that will appear in their February edition, so don't miss that one, either! See, we were not just being lazy while we were "on vacation" - we were actually quite busy. And we did enjoy spending time with family and friends. :)

To make up just a little bit for not posting lately, I will give you a bit more news really quickly before I get ready for this. Feisty, the kitten, died yesterday. We took him to the vet, got the tests done, got him his medicine, and did everything in our power, but he just didn't seem to have the will to live. He was found by Laura's sister about 2:30 a.m yesterday morning. We believe that Princess was there to meet him with his siblings that died of that tick-borne disease I wrote about on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Rest in peace, Feisty. You were loved.

Also, I thought you would all enjoy seeing what our fireplace mantel looked like this holiday season:

There was, as you can all see, a stocking for every animal on the place, even the fosters and poor little Feisty (bless his little soul), though, of course, we did not have any for the chickens for obvious reasons. Veggies would make a nasty mess in a stocking, but they feasted on all of the cut-off produce and such for three days in a row! They were very happy chickens! :)

Again, I am sorry for not writing on here lately. I will give a full explanation as soon as I can. I will say this much quickly - I have had a terrible life-threatening accident and am still not out of the woods yet. A tree fell on my head when I was cutting firewood - thank goodness Laura's mother bought me a special hardhat made for that for Christmas - it literally saved my life. Literally. It was a very, very close call. I may still require brain surgery before it is all said and done, as I have a blood clot trying to form in my brain right above my right ear in the region that controls my autonomic nervous system. I am having seizures, some life-threatening in themselves, as they could cause a massive heart attack. Needless to say, it has been a very scary time for us all, but I am one hard-to-kill person, and if you have been reading this blog for long now or know me very well, you know how hard-headed I am! Ha ha! Nothing will stop me! Not even a big old oak tree about 2 feet across landing on my head, knocking my hardhat off, throwing me about six feet through the air, knocking out some teeth, and finally coming to rest on top of my leg (though I pushed myself out from underneath it just before it rolled over and would have crushed me totally in the chest - my leg was luckily in a small depression that allowed me to free myself just in time, and I do mean JUST in time!) Anyway, more on that later. I am alive, and that is enough for now, though a few positive feelings sent my way, prayers, or whatever it is you are comfortable with I certainly will appreciate. If I am not very, very careful, I could still die, especially in the next week or so. If anything else happens, Laura will let you all know, as I will be in ICU, in a coma, or dead.

Yes, really. It is that serious. And I will admit that although I am quite scared, I do not intend to just give up, and neither does Laura. She is watching over me 24/7 and has already saved my life once since this started. Luckily I also have an excellent doctor who is doing all he possibly can to help me, especially since some very expensive tests need to be run that I can't pay for, having no health coverage or money or anything.

I would like to say one more thing before I close this out. Don't take any time you have or anyone you love for granted. In fact, make sure you tell people often how much you care. You never know when it may be your last second on this plane of existence. That particular thought has really and truly been driven into me throughout this terrifying ordeal. Don't leave the house mad at someone you love or take the chance that the last thing you say may not be nice. Hug them tight and let you know how special they are to you. It may be the last thing you ever do. Cherish every moment of your life, and try to be the very best person you can be. Don't put off important things until later. There might not be a later.

I would also like to once again thank everyone who has ever written me to say a kind word, donate financially to help us save animals and care for them (even when they don't make it, at least their last moments are spent being loved!), and especially thank you to every single one of who has been such a big part of my transition from a killer to a rescuer. You know who you are. If I don't pull through, at least I will go out knowing that I was cared about and that I was doing my best to make the world a better place in my last days.

"...when we finally know we are dying, and all other sentient beings are dying with us, we start to have a burning, almost heartbreaking sense of the fragility and preciousness of each moment and each being, and from this can grow a deep, clear, limitless compassion for all being."
--Sogyal Rinpoche

"A human being is part of the whole... a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts, and feelings as something separate from the rest–a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty..."

(and)

"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing."
--Albert Einstein

I am only one,
But still I am one.
I cannot do everything,
But still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~Edward Everett Hale

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single minute before starting to improve the world."
--Anne Frank

Done a good deed for the day yet? No? Why not? Just a smile might make all the difference to someone whose day needs brightening. Let your last act on Earth be a good one. I know I am trying. Very hard.

Peace is not something you wish for, it is something you make, something you do, something you are, and it is something you give away.

Peace---

Taking Some Time Off

2005-12-14T16:33:00.000-06:00

Laura and I have talked about this for some time now. We intend to take some much-needed time off from online work until after the New Year. Call it a kind of vacation if you want. Oh, we will still be working with organizations who have our personal email and all of that, but we just will be taking some time off from the groups and other online activities for a bit.

We have a lot of work piled up here around the house to do. I still have to keep getting in firewood, we are still making improvements for the living conditions of the growing number of animals in our care, we have a job coming up, and then of course, there are the holidays when family comes in.

Last year, we worked hard, even on the holidays, and missed out on a lot of the family stuff. We were quite busy at the time, but it left everyone feeling a bit neglected, as most of them really don't understand the depth of the work we actually accomplish in a given day.

Anyway, as we have all of this going on and are already finding it hard to keep up with everything, we made the decision today to go ahead and take some time off. We haven't really done that for almost 3 years now since all of this began. We won't be completely idle on our work, but we will be lowering the level of it for a bit anyway. It's just been really hectic lately, and everything is suffering because of it. It doesn't feel like we are getting anything done because we are spread so thin right now.

Anyway, I thought I would write this up so that my absence doesn't cause concern (I get worried emails from those watching over me when I don't post for a couple of days), so those of you who do that will know that we are fine and are just taking care of things that have built up in regular life (as well as finishing a couple of projects we are working on with a few people).

I hope each and every one of you finds a reason to smile and enjoy the holidays, however you choose to celebrate them (or not).

This message does not mean that if there is an urgent situation that I will be out of touch, though. If you are one of the people who has my private email, use it to contact me about anything earth-shattering or very important, and I will be right on it. Those of you who don't, well, I will still be checking online emails for such things, but it might take me a day or two to get back with you. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff we have going on right now!

I do want to also take this opportunity to thank everyone yet again for sending your supportive emails, your generous financial contributions to help the animals here at our little sanctuary, and especially those who have been there when I really needed a friend and some serious help. You know who you are, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. May I always be worthy of such wonderful friends.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Updates on Several Situations Again

2005-12-11T15:41:00.000-06:00

Feisty is doing better. He is now Laura's sister's special project, as she is as determined as we are that we will save this last little orphaned and dumped baby who had to watch and suffer the deaths of all of his siblings. After the shot he received from the vet, the more careful monitoring of whose food he gets into (like keeping him out of dog food bowls!), the addition of vitamin supplements, and lots and lots of love! he is finally doing a little better. He is not as listless, and though he doesn't play much yet, he has gained back some of the weight he had lost. We are just taking the very best care of him that we possibly can until we can get him those tests and vaccinations that vet recommended. We take those kinds of things very seriously, especially as we live in the woods and our animals come into contact with wild animals frequently as well as the parasites and other things like that that they carry ad pass on. Rabies shots are a primary concern! With 15 dogs on the place currently, we have to make sure everyone is vaccinated, to say the least. Luckily, though, we can get those vaccinations from the feed store for $5 or so and get Laura's mother to administer them, saving us a lot of money.

We are halfway now to the goal of having the money for the tests for Feisty, thanks to two donors. Hopefully we can get the rest soon. If I didn't have to go to the doctor next week and our bills hadn't been almost double this month because of the cold (not to mention Christmas presents!), we would have been able to make up the difference for a bit of time until we could get it covered, like we usually do until we can raise the funds to cover something like this. We were able to get some food from For the Sake of Animals that brought the fosters, but they were supposed to show up the weekend before last with more, but never did. They are so overwhelmed with Katrina animals (over 100 dogs, including two horse rescues, though I don't know their circumstances and can't comment on them, so I don't know where they came from), that they are really struggling since they are the only no-kill shelter in two counties (if not more). So, although we got enough for about a week or so to feed everyone, here we are back to not having enough. We bought some the other day ourselves for our dogs but had to share with the others yet again when they didn't show up, but not nearly enough. December is such a hard month financially. And this year, it is more so than usual.

If you are the type of person who donates money at this time of year, please don't forget the small sanctuaries. They, like I, don't spend money on ad campaigns, memorabilia, take a salary or any type of financial benefit - the money goes directly to help care for animals. We lost OohMahNee this year. That was tragic, but it happens a lot because the big donors draw so much away from the small sanctuaries that we barely subsist, usually paying for a healthy fraction of it ourselves. that's why I did the Blogathon for Eastern Shore. They need help again, as they took in Katrina victims, as did UPC, and others.

I would also like to give one more set of thanks to the person who, through the feed store, donated the wild bird feeder. That has been a very busy place since it snowed a few days ago! This morning they were coming and going like mad. I have been really having to pay attention to the level in the feeder, as they are now eating more and telling their friends! :) (Oh, and btw, not a single squirrel has managed to get to it, though I have seen them trying! Victory! Don't worry, they get their own food down at Laura's Mom's bought especially for them, plus they have many nut trees here in the yard for food. Our squirrels are anything but hungry. They are fat little fluffy well-fed neighbors who we see jumping from tree to tree. They do raid Laura's Mom's bird feeder almost every day, though, hanging upside down and spilling food. Ha ha ha! Not mine, they don't!! Double ha!)

After winterizing the rooster's house we have noticed a definite increase in the temp in there. We also gave him abut a foot of leaves and pine straw in there to snuggle down in and make a nest for himself just as we did in the house for the others. He prefers one corner, and one day recently when the snow was on the ground outside, I went in his house to feed him so that he wouldn't have to go out to eat and didn't see him, wondering if he had escaped for a second. Then I saw a head poke up out of the mound of leaves to look at me and realized that he had completely buried himself in there in the leaves, all nice and snug. He has also started to crow at Laura and me when we go out there to feed, water, and talk to him, which is nice to hear again. Hopefully he is pulling out of the grief and depression he experienced when the other one died. He still needs some hens, though, and we are working harder to find some that are appropriate. Broilers would be easy, as would other domesticated chickens, but because he is a factory-farmed oversized "monster," he will have to be put with the layer hens that produce the fertilized eggs and are big enough and stout enough to withstand him mounting them. The others are too slight, and he would most certainly hurt them, possibly even breaking bones. Can't have that! We are just hoping that some farmer will allow us to have a few for him, especially if they are so-called "spent" and will be sent for laughe or culled. We don't care about the eggs. we just want the rooster to be happy ane express and enjy natural behaviros. Being alone is not best for him. If I am lucky enough to attract anyone from this area who is willing to let me come and rescue the ones left after the catchers are through or the ones not responding properly and having something wrong with them, I will do so. What have you got to lose? They won't make you any money, and you could do something nice for them besides wringing ther necks.

As we have had Jake and Sophia having more freedom, she is losing more and more of her shyness. Jake isn't shy one bit and loves to play. Today he was rolling around on the unfinished deck of our house and spinning around almost like a break dancer, occasionally biting at a pile of snow and eating it. Just living it up! The have mostly taken now to staying in the greenhouse where our other dogs stay, where it is much, much warmer and we have put down foam beds for them all. Everyone is getting along fine, and Junior and Jake are great friends and play every day, with Sophia usually jumping in, too. They especially lie to romp and play in the cold of the morning when they are all especially feeling a bit frisky. It's wonderful to see them so happy and enjoying their lives! :)

It's worth all of the hassle and work and expense. Looking into those faces, how could you not care? How could you not save them when you had the means to do so? Well, we sure couldn't.

Here's a quick pic of our snow featuring a handmade birdhouse made out of a hollow log and 50-year-old barn wood and which hosts a family of birds every spring, with Laura's grandmother's corner of her landscaped garden I built for her in the background showing her pyracantha. (We got around 3 inches or so - enough to keep the kids out of school, so many fun sliding trips were made down the icy hill trail towards the river on a dog food bag, coining the phrase "snowbagging" by our nephew. We rolled in laughter at the idea. And yes, Laura, her sister, and her Mom all did it, too. Funny how Laura's Mom sent us this picture, but not those....)

All in all, because of all of the preparation work we have been able to accomplish, everyone (at least the animals) was much more comfortable, things have gone well through our snowstorm, even though we worked hard and most of the family got some kind of stomach bug going through the schools. (Kid germs - is there anything worse when you aren't used to it anymore?!) Luckily, Laura and I did not succumb to it and completely escaped the ravages of it. Better diet and immune system than the animal product-eaters who did, to a person, succumb, and puke their guts out? I will let you draw your own conclusions with that....

We burned lots of wood, so I was really busy splitting and hauling wood, while Laura kept the fires burning hot in the fireplace to keep down the escalating propane bills at Laura's Mom's, where we stayed during the coldest couple of days. This trailer is just WAY too cold to stay in if it drops below freezing, but especially below 20. Very drafty. VERY! Then it is just completely unbearable, Laura draws up and shivers, gets major muscle spasms all over her back and neck, and hurts like hell. My arthritis kicks in, and we both head up to get warm. (Hell getting old, ain't it? Better than the alternative though, I suppose, wouldn't you???) We usually pack up and stay up there on her Mom's double hide-a-bed by the fireplace when it gets that cold. Might as well take advantage of all of the hard work I am doing. Besides, we are better firebuilders (not to brag, it's just true - Laura has been "the firebulder" of her family since she was in elementary school and applied what she learned in Girl Scouts, then took it further with lots of experience camping and a bit of raw talent - there is a true art to great firebuilding) and can burn the larger logs up and leave a lot of coals, really making the fireplace radiate more than the others in the household (because it's the rocks heating up that radiate the most heat out into the room, not the fire - that can take a couple of days of hard work and just keeping it up and going).

Laura's Mom has a whole new respect for those who cut, split, and sell firewood now, though. She has now decided that the price people charge for firewood isn't nearly as unreasonable as she had first thought now that she has seen and been a part of how much work it is to get it from the woods, sawed up, split in most cases, loaded, hauled, and ultimately, unloaded, stacked, and then finally into the fireplace. Hauling load after load in the wheelbarrow is the worst part. It's a big wheelbarrow ad very heavy when fully loaded. Gets a lot at once, but the ol' back and knees pay the price. Boy, how we have missed our truck to take it down the driveway in large amounts! We got one truckload hauled up there when a friend came in for Thanksgiving, but it didn't take long to go through that. It's been the wheelbarrow, even on snow ice and up hills, to get it up there ever since. Everyone is sore. At least the snow has about melted, so I can drop a few more dead trees (we have a virus killing our oaks just as the pine beetles are after our pines - please send loving and healing energy to this spot, please). We like the firewood, just as we liked getting the lumber for the houses, but absolutely hate losing our big beautiful trees.

Anyway, we are just plugging along, doing okay, and very much appreciate all of the support, e-cards, and kind words everyone has sent us regarding Feisty. Even those who can't help financially, it really is nice to hear from those who care and even share their own stories about rescuing kittens, like this one.

It's always heartwarming to see others out there go to great lengths to save these innocent babies, who through no fault of their own and the callousness of other humans, have come to need help so desperately. I read such stories every day. Too bad not so many have as happy endings as this one has.

Is it just me, or has this holiday season just jumped up on you really quick, too? I can't believe we are this close to all of those festivities. I am not ready....

Feisty is sick!

2005-11-28T13:12:00.000-06:00

Remember the kittens we rescued who were dumped in the woods across the road? All of them got that tick-borne disease, and all but one died of it. We kept him and named him Feisty - for good reason. But, Feisty hasn't been feeling very well the last few days.

Laura just got back from a quick run to the vet (a setback of $39.50 we didn't have in the bank and for which she had to write a postdated check for, even as she can't pay for her prescriptions due the 1st, either) and got Feisty a physical and a shot. The vet isn't really sure what is wrong with him without some tests, though she suspects (and rightfully so) that he needs to be vaccinated against a couple of common problems. The dilemma we find ourselves in is that the tests alone will cost around $60 (we don't know how much for the shots themselves), and of course, we don't have it.

So, dear and constant readers, I turn to you once again to help save the life of yet another individual named Feisty.

As you can see from this picture of Feisty with Laura's sister, he likes to sleep on or around the heads of people and is a quite cuddly little kitty when he isn't tearing through the house playing with his toys (some of them sent in by a reader - thanks Cathie - he loves them!). We have really gotten attached to him, as we do to all of the others we take in, like Spaz - who has also made himself at home at Laura's mom's, going inside whenever he wants and having a chair all his own on the porch with his own blanket on it.

Sophia and Jake are now getting time outside the pen and are running around in the yard, as For the Sake of Animals wanted them to do in advance of their pending adoption. They are loving that! :) Jake is very friendly and loves to play, while Sophia is still a bit shy and needs more socialization. We are hoping that more time outside the pen will help with that. The sooner we adopt them out, the sooner we can save more!

I wish we had the same to say about Bill. Poor Bill. He just sits in his doghouse most of the time. He even waits for dark to come out and eat. It will take a very long time to rehab Bill, if it can even be done. I know that if it can, Laura can do it. She even got him to ome to the side of the fence and be petted while she was wearing a lettered hat, for the first time, a couple of days ago. More progress! I have seen her work miracles with animals of all kinds. Animals will come right up to her when they will not approach anyone else. Or they will let her come to them. It really is just like a force, an energy field of loving-kindness radiates that out from this wonderful woman who has helped save so many lives throughout her lifetime. Animals seem to pick up on that and just know that she means them no harm and only wants to help and give love. We would never have saved as many as we have without her loving energy to help them trust us enough to help them. It's almost like they seem to know where to go for help. Animals have simply turned up everywhere she has ever lived, in the hope of finding the help that was there to be found. And they did always find it, whether or not she really had the capability or knowledge of exactly what to do. She just did some reading, found out, helped them, and then found them homes.

Feisty is just one of the most recent of those animals. If you have the means or know someone who does, please send whatever you can afford to help. If you would rather make arrangements through the vet herself - if that makes you more comfortable knowing your money will be spent just as we say it will, or you want a copy faxed to you of what we spent today, let me know. We can also send a copy by email. That can certainly be arranged, as it has been in the past, though we are very rarely questioned. The pictures speak for themselves as tp the good we have done with so little in a county that has no shelter or recourse.

Speaking of which, we are also hurting for animal food. I know that everyone has just given so much to so many different charities recently for realyl good causes. Katrina espeially caused a lot of charitable donations to go out. But 100% of this money will truly go to save a life. It won't pay a salary or pay for slick handouts, bumper stickers, coffee mugs, tote bags, etc. It will g directly to save an innocent life. Feisty deserves no less that the best chance we can give him. He didn't ask to be born.

And he certainly didn't ask to be dumped in the woods and watch all his brothers and sisters die before his eyes...

On Thanksgiving - From the Mailbag

2005-11-25T09:25:00.000-06:00

We ate our Tofurky again yesterday - much better than last year since we read the instructions. LOL! All of the animals here got a special feast and blessing with thanks for them being here and enriching our lives with their individual selves. Mostly, we don't like to celebrate Thanksgiving, but do it for the family. Laura's family is big on celebrations of holidays and go all out for all of them. As we all did yesterday. Therefore, Laura and I, along with a smart and caring young boy, went around and gave each and every animal a special treat while we talked about how special they were.

Today, we are happily particpating in the Buy Nothing Day! Many others refer to it as Black Friday and hold anti-fur demos everywhere. Check out http://www.furfreefriday.com/ for the nearest one to you.

Now, the articles (not all the comments and e-cards. though I thank each and every one of you who contacted us, but they were way too personal to put here) that were sent to me on what others were thinking about yesterday. First, the main one we were pondering:

"Re-Membering Thanksgiving" by Eastern Shore Sanctuary cofounder pattrice jones (and very good friend - a really outstanding and intelligent woman) was published last year and remains relevant today. This challenging essay looks at the links between factory farming, colonization, homophobia, and war in the context of a
meditation on the holiday of Thanksgiving.

http://www.pressaction.com/news/weblog/full_article/jones11222004/

She also gave several options and reasons for Buy Nothing Day:

Buy Nothing for the Animals November 25

Inaugurated twelve years ago, Buy Nothing Day asks U.S. consumers to protest amoral consumerism by staying out of the stores on the busiest shopping day of the year. Now maintained by the folks at AdBusters Magazine (who have recently run some very fine articles exposing factory farming and meat consumption), Buy Nothing Day is an
easy way for animal advocates to show solidarity with other movements without in any way compromising work on behalf of the animals.

Top 5 reasons for animal advocates to honor Buy Nothing Day:

5. Because selfish greed is at the heart of both consumerism and animal exploitation.
4. Because production of superfluous consumer goods depletes resources and harms habitats, thereby hurting animals.
3. Because you can give the money you save to an animal sanctuary.
2. Because if we want people to listen when we say "don't buy that," we have to be willing to listen when other people say "don't buy that."
1. Because sometimes nothing can mean everything.

5 Things to do instead of shopping on November 25:

1. Volunteer at your local animal shelter or sanctuary
2. Plan how you will reduce your consumption over the next year.
3. Download Buy Nothing Day materials and distribute them at your local mall.
4. Download pro-vegan materials and distribute them at your local supermarket.
5. Read a book, take a walk, play music, visit your neighbors or just sit and think.

The Buy Nothing Day website is:
http://adbusters.org/metas/eco/bnd/

Many animal liberation organizations offer handouts that can be
downloaded and distributed by anyone. A handout that is particularly
apt for Buy Nothing Day may be downloaded from:
http://www.globalhunger.net/goveg.pdf

Next, we have a selection of articles from someone else, along with what he was thankful for:

I am thankful for the emergence of leaders like Hugo Chavez and Evo Morales, both of whom champion the rights of the poor and defy American neocolonialism: (I have to admit that we frequently support Chavez through purposely buying our gas to do so at Citgo and mever - I mean NEVER - do we spend one penny at Exxon-Mobil!)

http://www.rense.com/general68/sno.htm

I am thankful for the blow the University of Kansas has struck for intellectual honesty:

http://civillibertarian.blogspot.com/2005/11/conservative-christian-majority-on.html

I am thankful for the courage of John Murtha and the growing momentum against the despicable Bush regime:

http://www.upi.com/SecurityTerrorism/view.php?StoryID=20051117-090928-6137r

I am thankful for the integrity and courage of Kevin and Monica Benderman (me, too - I wrote to them) as he serves 15 months in a military detention center for his refusal to redeploy to Iraq based on the obscenely immoral acts he was ordered to commit during his first tour:

http://uruknet.info/?p=m18059

I am mostly thankful to The Black Commentator for opening my eyes to the dark and disturbing truths about our cultural ancestors, whose "success and prosperity" we have been brain-washed into celebrating on this day:

http://www.blackcommentator.com/66/66_cover_thanksgiving.html

However you spent your day, I hope that it was respectful and peaceful.

P.S. - If anyone else wishes to share something they did or pondered yesterday, send it in and I will put it up here.

Another Tragic Loss

2005-11-20T08:53:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we learned of the death of our sweet Annie,

the chicken we saved from eminent demise in the highway after she fell from a truck hauling her to slaughter. You may remember reading that we had let her go with a very close friend to keep a blind hen company after the rooster who had done so died of old age. Well, Annie didn't get a chance to die of old age. From the description I got - no wounds, nothing to indicate any sort of injury or illness, just found dead the next morning, it sounds like she also died in the same way that our rooster recently died - from "flip-over syndrome" (better known as a heart attack).

Well, obviously, when we got that call yesterday morning we were devastated, especially Laura. Lots of tears were shed. (**note from Laura - being shed as I type this - she was so special) That's why we not only did not post this news yesterday, but didn't even send out the normal personal emails to our nearest and dearest friends that we do (you know who you are) when something of this magnitude happens. We just couldn't. Not our precious Annie. We just shut down yesterday, got offline, and talked and played some music and just generally were hermits.

It was so upsetting, but sadly, not surprising. This is just something that the industry has promoted in these chickens by genetically messing them up to the point that their little baby internal organs don't catch up fast enough to accodomodate the extra-fast growing cycle. They are never intended to live past slaughter age, so the industry doesn't worry about that. No, they just want them when they are still peeping at 7 weeks of age, with all manner of ailments, but still enough of them alive that it is still profitable to slaughter and sell them.

As a result, many of the ones who miraculously escape this fate and end up in sanctuaries just don't make it, despite the fact that we give them the very best care we possibly can. Annie was yet another on that horrible and tragic list. Our sweet Annie - the sweetest and most loving chicken either of us have ever known.

It's funny that most people focus on the extremely large numbers of birds like her that die every die each day - an enormous number that we can't possibly even imagine (can you really imagine millions of chickens?) and not on the fact that each and every one is an individual just like she was. Just like the rooster was and all the others we have buried on this little piece of woods.

Annie and Beau, both buried this year, among others.

That's the hardest part of rescuing animals that I have to death with. The graves.

There have been too many graves dug here this years. Too many lives lost.

Yes, at least, even for their short time, they were loved. But it still breaks your heart to lose them. They are so loved.

As individuals.

Rest in peace, sweet Annie.

You were loved by many and will never be forgotten.

Musings and Updating You on More Progress

2005-11-12T08:27:00.000-06:00

First off, I want to let you all know that we have finally gotten the three male dogs that For the Sake of Animals sent us neutered, so they are one step closer to being ready to adopt out. However, Dusty, the one who has the red mange (that is not contagious) needs more treatment than For the Sake of Animals told us he did and gave us medicine for. They brought us medicine (Ivermectin) for him and the other three they brought us and told us to mix it in with a little bit of canned food (which they also supplied because it tastes so bad) for three days. Well, according to the vet, this should be done for 2-3 months! So, we have now informed For the Sake of Animals that not only are the dogs all fixed now, but that the amount of medicine they sent was inadequate to take care of the problem. We had to leave a message, as the lady who runs the group was at work, so we are now waiting on them to answer us back to see what they want us to do next. But, at least we have made more progress there. The dogs are fixed, and 3 out of 4 ready to be adopted out to good forever homes.

We have discovered an interesting thing about Bill. He is afraid of hats with lettering on them. Apparently, whoever the man was who abused him wore a hat with letters on it. We have noticed this because whenever I am wearing such a hat, he is afraid, but the times he let me pet him, I was wearing a toboggan. He was even afraid of Laura the other day when she walked out of the house wearing her Vegan cap. And, it didn't even seem to matter when she realized what happened and took it off immediately. She had had it on, and he was afraid and wouldn't come out of his house. He just stood there inside of it, peeking around the corner of it at her. He is never afraid of her, so it has to be the hats. It is going to take quite a long time to get this dog to where he is adoptable.

On another front, I had planned on writing my usual "Happy Veteran's Day" post yesterday, but somehow it just didn't feel right. You know how sometimes something you see or read just somehow really gets to you, and you can't seem to get it out of your mind, even though you might have seen or read similar things? Well, that is what happened yesterday here. Laura was too depressed to type anything out after reading an article on what the day used to be called. The article, written by Steven Laffoley, and found in Common Dreams (one of our favorite news sources, btw), was called, "Almost Like a Day for Peace" and just really got to her. As she went through the day, going through emails and reading articles and doing everything she normally does, she just kept returning to the thoughts expressed in that article and continued to have tears welling up. Finally, she just broke down in my arms and cried, wishing that the whole world could finally be at peace, with no suffering, no greed and corruption, no suffering, no meanness. Then she stated that she just couldn't do any more reading or working that day, shut the computer off, and decided to go outside in the beautful woods that she loves so much and find such peace in, and work for awhile, which we did. (In case you haven't checked the photo page lately and/or don't subscribe to it, there are new photos that we posted there the other day, with a little commentary, showing views of the riverbank with the trees changing color. Which reminds me of an email I received the other day from a subscriber to this site, saying she hasn't been receiving her emails telling her of updates. I established a feed in the sidebar for this and other reasons that you can use to stay current if that is happening to you, too.) Anyway, that article reminded me of the fact that one of my uncles who had fought in WWI (he was a Native American sniper) had never ceased to call that day Armistice Day, even after they changed it to Veteran's Day during WWII. Laura and I both spent some time talking about this and wishing that we could go back to calling the day that - a day for celebrating peace. Maybe one day...

Today, already she has found more articles about "support the troops," like this one, that we completely agree with, and she has started to get upset again, but not nearly as much, so at least we were able to write this post and get you all updated. Nothing has been as bad as this one that was written when the 2000 mark hit. She cried all the way through that one, and then we passed it on to everyone, especially to those we know that voted for Bush and continue to support this war.

Anyway, enough of the somber grief and sadness. Let's get back to what we have been doing lately around here. It's a little bit of a happier story. No need to get Laura all upset again as she types this up (she has already teared up just doing so, and I don't want to make that any worse than it already is).

The day before we had already raked up the yard and taken wheelbarrows upon wheelbarrows of leaves to the chickens to the point that they were about a foot high in their houses and close to it in the yards. I saw yesterday where our sole lonely rooster had made his comfy nest where he had already wallowed out a spot in his house in the corner. The others were doing their usual excited business that they always do when we bring them fresh leaves, scratching through them, tossing them high in the air, and gobbling up whatever kinds of bugs they could find.

I also got some more firewood ready yesterday for Laura's mother. It's still some I cut from last year that just had to be split. We are trying to gather up all of it that is still good and burn it until I can get my chainsaw out of the shop, which will probably be Monday, if everything goes well and as expected. I'm not supposed to run it at all, according to my doctor, but I am the only one here who can, and there isn't enough wood for the winter already cut, so I am just going to have to go against doctor's orders and do it. I will take it easy, though, and do only it a little at a time. I really won't have any choice about that, as my back is still in pretty bad shape from that tree falling on me. That's also the reason that the wonderful new expansion hasn't gone anywhere yet, though I do plan to start on that, too once my chainsaw gets back to me. We will just start out small and keep adding on, as opposed to doing the whole thing at one time. boy, I sure do wish I had some help in doing that, as it will be a big job. A really big one. But, it will certainly be worth it to be able to let the chickens roam free inside of it and engage in all of their natural behaviors. Plus, it will give us enough more room to be able to take in more of them when needed. And, an added bonus is that it will allow us to let them inside the gardens to till the ground up and get out all of the weed seeds and larvae of the pests that eat our veggies every year. They and we will both enjoy that! Less work for us and more fun for them - a win-win situation for all! :)

Everything else is about the same ol' routine as always. We are still looking for companions for our rooster, though. So, if anyone has any or hears of any, please let me know. He is awfully lonely. It is just breaking our hearts - all of us. Even Laura's mother, who was so afraid of him and the one who died, and who first used the term "the monsters," has had her heart melt at his sadness and feels differently now. He is certainly not so aggressive anymore. He hasn't tried to attack me once since the other one died. It's just so sad...

We realize that death is an inevitable part of rescue, but each one is a blow to the heart. The one bright spot in all of this is that we now have one chicken pen not being used, so we have room to take in more rescues, should they come our way. And, that's the one thing that I am certain about - that they will...

Again thank you to everyone for your kind emails and your financial support. We appreciate every bit of it. We work really hard, and it is nice to know that our work is so appreciated and that it makes such a difference in so many people's lives. Every single person who writes us to tell us that they have gone vegetarian just literally makes our day. Because we know that just that one person has saved the lives of thousands of animals by never eating any of them again. And that, usually, they will become activists themselves, reaching even more people, like a domino effect. Emails like those make everything we have suffered worthwhile and truly do make our day and our work more rewarding. So, keep them coming, you new veggies! They are what keeps us going through the hard and depressing times, just as the financial help keeps us going through the times when funds are non-existent and we don't know how we will feed everyone another week. Thank you all for helping us however you can. It really does mean a lot to us to hear from you.

And, for all my fellow vets out there, Happy Veteran's/Armistice Day to you, even if it is a day late. May there be a day when we can call it the latter again. May there be a day when we don't send young boys to come back from the battlefield men forever haunted by what we saw and did there. You know what I mean, my brothers. Only other vets with their boots on the ground really understand what war is like. And this is one who does. You have my respect and my friendship always, no matter what. I'm behind you all the way. A virtual salute to you. Keep your heads down, stay safe, and come back home where you belong.

Have a good day, everyone.

More Corroboration About Chicken Catching

2005-11-06T09:55:00.000-06:00

Some of you who have been reading this blog from the beginning may remember my discussions about catching chickens. I started doing this job at night when I was only 14 years old to help support my family, as I was the oldest, and we lived in extreme poverty in the Ozarks. Even so, I still got up each morning and went to school each day and graduated with good grades. From what I know and have spoken about this horrible job and the terrible abuse of the chickens, I can say with certainty that what you are about to read is nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, this sort of thing happens every day and night. Some places use the new automated chicken catching machines, which are supposed to be more humane (Although they are harder on the workers at the slaughter plants because they suck up more dust, feces, and even the lime that is used to keep the smell down - we hated it when Tyson started using them in some of the houses, and some chickens are still broken and maimed in the process - there is simply no "humane" way to catch terrified baby chickens and stuff them in the cages on the trucks. Period.), but as you will see from the statements of two people hired on to do this job, nothing has really changed in all these years. Many houses are still caught by the same means that they were way back when I was a teenager. You may also remember that I spoke about the fact that the need for speed was important because we were paid per bird, not per hour, and we would not take breaks to eat or anything in order to be finished early and get through so that we could go home. Hence, the brutality and rushing around to get done. Even if you aren't a sadist, like the person who enjoys killing runts, you can't help but injure chickens when you are running and working as fast as you can. If they paid people by the hour instead of by the number of birds caught in a night, the process would no doubt be a little more humane.

There is a summary story about this here, but I will simply put the entire statements of these two shocked and upset individuals in full in this post. I believe that they speak for themselves without any further comments from me. I am just glad that more and more people are coming forwrd and speaking out against the absolute brutality of this horrible industry.

I continue to hope and wish that more people will follow my lead and continue to come forward with their stories. And, as I have said before, if you workers want to have your say, but are afraid of losing your jobs and want to remain anonymous, I will be glad to post your stories here without revealing who you are, letting you see and appriove any post before it is made public, just as I have done before with others. Believe it or not, most of us activists really do care about you (I certainly do!), and the things we are trying to change about this industry will definitely improve your lives and working conditions. My activism started with the idea of simply improving the working conditions at the plant I worked at. I still want to help you. But we need more of you to come forward, whether by name or anonymously. Just get your stories out to the public if you want your jobs to be less hellish.

For the rest of you, keep in mind that this and every horror story on this blog is what you support each and every time you risk your health and that of your kids by taking a bite of chicken. This is what your hard-earned dollars support, and therefore you are complicit in this suffering if you eat chicken. Hopefully, as more and more people find out the truth, they will turn to the alternatives like Laura and I (and many others) have and not eat them ever again.
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Statement of Whistleblower Chad Haberstock
I, Chad Haberstock, took a job as a "chicken catcher" for Brian's Poultry in southern Ontario, Canada on May 12, 2003. It was a horrible experience for my girlfriend and me, but it was even worse for the chickens.

Upon entering each barn that night, we were hit with the overpowering stench of ammonia, clouds of dust, and dirty wood chips. At the first barn, which was kosher, we were told that catchers could only carry two chickens in each hand and that we were to hold each chicken by both legs to prevent the breaking of blood vessels. Holding the chickens by two legs (instead of using the standard one-leg rule)
caused much less damage and injury to the chickens, though it did require more care and time on the part of the workers-time that most farmers in other barns didn't want us to take.

On the other farms, we were required to carry eight chickens at a time-double the number that we carried in the kosher barn. I tried to handle these chickens with care, but I could still feel their bones crushing under their own weight as I held them. These were not very big chickens, and we held four-each by one leg-in each hand. I was trying to be gentle because my heart went out to these poor animals, but I could still feel the chickens' legs breaking in my hands. Carrying four chickens in each hand puts a lot of pressure on certain chickens, causing their legs to pop out of joint or their bodies to crush under the weight of the other chickens. The swinging motion that was used to lift the chickens up to the loaders caused the most damage because the pressure of the swing and the weight of the other chickens pushing down on the leg of the chicken on the end caused the leg to shatter or pop. The loaders applied even more pressure when they grabbed the chickens out of my hands, causing even greater damage and breakage. The loaders grabbed the chickens very forcefully, shoving them into the crates. A few times, my fingers were grabbed with the chickens' legs, and it was surprising to feel how much pressure the loaders applied.

Around the loading doors, there were a lot of injured chickens, lingering in pain on the ground. These chickens had either been dropped by the loaders or were left behind in the catching and loading frenzy. Many of these chickens couldn't walk properly and, therefore, could not move themselves out from under our feet, so they were injured and crushed. In all the barns, including the kosher barn, I witnessed chickens who wandered out into the open being kicked and stepped on by workers, then left to die with damaged legs and broken wings. I also heard numerous callous comments from the workers, such as: "They're not really animals," "I hate chickens," "I just want to kill them," "Just don't think about them," "Just don't worry about them," and "Just kick them out of the way."

The chickens were also mistreated in the process of trying to corral them. Large, plastic gates were used to contain groups of chickens in certain parts of the barn. I did not see a problem with this, until I saw the gates being put into place by some of the workers. They were dropped onto the chickens and forced down in a very aggressive manner, making the chickens move and crushing them if they didn't move fast enough. I witnessed a number of injuries that were caused by this method of gate placement. I also noticed a lot of injured chickens around the gates, many with broken wings.

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Statement of Whistleblower Sally Mitchell

On the evening of Monday, May 12, 2003, my boyfriend, Chad Haberstock, and I accepted positions working as "chicken catchers" for Brian's Poultry Services (BriansPoultry.com), based in Mildmay, Ontario in Canada. We were hired almost immediately over the phone with no references and no questions asked. We had no idea what we were in for.

A company van picked us up at 6 p.m., and as we climbed inside with other employees who had been hired for the same position, it quickly became obvious that there would be no friends made here. No one was interested in learning our names, and if not for two boys who talked to us in the back of the van, we would not have understood what we would be doing as "catchers" that night. The boys told us that we would feel badly afterward and have trouble breathing but that we would "get used to it."

When we arrived at the first farm, I learned that the chickens are kept in total darkness. The lights in the barn were turned up when we entered so that we could see to put down the gates that are used to catch the chickens. When that had been done, the lights were very slowly turned down again. Walking through thousands of chickens as the lights dimmed and the sound of electricity faded away made me think of the fear and confusion of gas chambers. It was like a bad dream.

We were informed that the first barn was a "two-leg barn," meaning that we were allowed to carry only four birds at a time and that each one had to be carried by two legs. The heavy gates, which weighed approximately 10 pounds each, were thrown around the barn to trap the chickens so that they would be easier to catch. Even though this was supposed to be the barn where chickens were not hurt, the catchers threw the gates around without regard for the chickens' safety, crushing and trapping many of them beneath the gates. If the gates were not even with the ground, the catchers would lean all their weight on the gates and force them to the floor, crushing the live chickens who were caught below. Walking across the barn from the gates to the door was insane. It was impossible not to crush chickens underfoot. It took so long for me to cross because, with every step, I felt crushing and heard screaming. I carefully tried to move the chickens out of my way, but other employees just ran from side to side as if they didn't notice the sea of bodies under their feet.

When the doors of the barn were opened, the real horror began. A truck was backed up to the open doors, exposing these birds to the outside world for the first time. They panicked. There is no way to deny that those birds were terrified and confused. That was when I started feeling guilty. I looked at the birds and knew that it was the end for them-there was no escape. We began grabbing chickens and holding them upside-down by their legs, carrying two in each hand and giving them to "loaders" in the truck, who threw and slammed them into tiny transport crates. This process was brutal, and it's amazing that any of the chickens were alive at that point. There were 7,000 chickens inthe barn, and it took about an hour to load them into the truck. When we were finished, I couldn't breathe, but I knew that we had another farm to go to.

Little did I know that things were about to get much worse. We were split into two teams, and as we approached the next barns, one of the workers started yelling, "I get the runts! I get the runts!" When I asked him what he meant, he said that, in order to get a higher weight in the truck, they wanted to load only the big chickens and kill the smaller ones. He explained how he smashed the skulls of the "runts" until they were dead. He was assigned to the other barn, so I did not have to witness this.

The next barn was absolute hell. You wouldn't believe what it was like unless you were there. We had to wake 38,000 sleeping baby chickens and terrify and break them. In this barn, there were none of the restrictions of the first barn. We were told to pick up eight chickens at a time and to hold each one by one leg-four chickens in each hand. Chad told me that he could feel the chickens' legs snap and pop when he handed them up to the loader on the truck. The chickens tried to huddle in groups, but occasionally, one would stray into the middle of the floor and get stepped on and kicked around. It broke my heart. I only worked a little while in this barn before I had to sit down because of the combination of exhaustion and emotional strain. I made eye contact with some of the young chickens, who were so little that they weren't even clucking yet, just cheeping. It just killed me. They started huddling under me for safety when I knelt down. Some people think that chickens don't have feelings, but it was perfectly clear how scared these animals were. It was absolute hell-there are no better words to describe that graphic scene. It was death. It was screaming babies with no one to help them. Worse, I knew that I was only seeing a very small percentage of the billions of chickens who are killed every year in the industry. I couldn't do it anymore, so Chad and I both went and sat out for the last hour while the final truck was loaded.

I cried the whole way home. I only made it half of one night, but the biggest shock came when I realized that the catchers do this every day and have been doing it for years-some of them for their entire working lives. The brutality that these people inflicton animals shocked me. Ever since that day, my boyfriend and I have sworn off meat. Most people don't know what happens to animals in the meat industry, but now, you know that there is a fate worse then death for these chickens-their journey to slaughter.
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Want to email Brian's Poultry with your comments? Here is their email address: sseitz@brianspoultry.on.ca

Progress!

2005-11-01T16:21:00.000-06:00

I just wanted to share the joy of progress I have made with Bill, the very abused little terrier mix that is so afraid of men. Yesterday, for the very first time, I petted him. It was only for a second, but he allowed it when I was out feeding him. Then again today, when I went to feed him, he allowed it again. I can only hold my hand with palm up and scratch him under the chin a little bit, but today was the first time he didn't growl at me when I came near his pen. So, more progress is being made with him! :)

Also, though I personally thanked the person who arranged a food donation through our local feed store, I wanted to publicly thank her for taking the time to do so and being generous to make sure that everyone had some food. She also included a bird feeder with wild bird food to go with it.

So, if there are any of you out there who wish to donate this way, you can do this too, though she told me that they are no longer accepting credit cards. I guess you could always mail them a check or something. I am not sure. the woman's name who arranged this is named Joyce, and she would be able to tell you how to make arrangements to make donations this way. Anyway, if any of you choose this option to help feed the animals, here is the information for the feed store we use:

Parks & Hansen, Inc.
P.O. Box 506
4th and Gillhamn
Mena, AR 71953
479-394-2663

We use Tops 21 for dog food, Allway and Chops (screened corn) for chicken food (though the person who made the donation also added in some scratch, which the chickens love! - We will have to get them more of this!). She also added cat food, which we weren't even aware that they sold, and like I mentioned, the wild bird food and feeder. I have hung the feeder in such a way that I don't believe the squirrels can get to it, but we will see. They are pretty smart and agile...

Since we are not yet an official non-profit, I can understand the wariness of some people as to whether or not their donations are truly used for the animals. Well, this is one way you can be sure that they are. I had never thought of this before, so thank you for not only making the food donation, but giving people another way to help out!

Well, now that everyone is now fed, the bird feeder hung and filled, I believe it is time for me to go and fill my own belly, so I will cut this post short. I just wanted to share this happy bit of news with you all since good news in the animal protection community is scarce.

Another quick note to thank everyone who sent me cards and all for my birthday. I think I remembered to thank each and every person personally, but if I missed any of you, it was not on purpose. There was so much going on at that time that it was hard to remember what I had done and what was still on the list of what I still needed to do. So, if I missed thanking you personally, please forgive me and take this as a public thank you to all that sent cards, letters, and donations. They were very much appreciated.

The Latest News - Bad and Good

2005-10-26T09:33:00.000-06:00

I have more bad news to report, I am sorry to say. One of the roosters, affectionately called "the monsters," died yesterday. He died from a very common factory farming created syndrome that is commonly referred to as "flipover syndrome." On this page, Jim Mason's article quotes a poultry farmer:

In broiler operations, some birds suddenly jump into the air, give off a loud squawk and fall over dead. This 'flipover syndrome' is usually seen in the larger, faster-growing birds, yet poultry experts say its cause is not known. One southern broiler farmer told me that he had been losing several birds a day from this condition, which he called 'heart attack'. He told me that the problem is 'in the birds - they grow too fast these days'.

And on this industry site, written by a veterinarian, among the very long list of poultry diseases the factory farming system has caused, this syndrome gets a small note under the category of "Other."

Acute death syndrome ("flipover," "heart attack" birds) 1. Cause - unknown, thought to be related to rapid growth 2. Gross - none other than pulmonary edema 3. Micro - same as gross 4. Trans - none

So, despite the very best care we could give him, he died. To give you a better idea of just how big these birds get when they don't go to slaughter, we took another picture of the surviving rooster just yesterday. You can see how much he has grown since we got him. He is now grieving and wasn't the least bit aggressive towards us yesterday when we went in there to take these pictures. The first one was taken to show a bit of scale as to exactly how huge he really is now. Based on how heavy the one I buried was when I picked him up yesterday, I would say that they weigh close to 20 lbs.

The second one Laura took to show how we worked out the trough system so that when we aren't here, others can feed him without actually having to go into the pen since they are so afraid of what was "them" and is now, sadly, only "him." Now that it is getting cold, we are going to go out there today and cover the cracks in the boards and make the entry hole to the house smaller, as well as getting him some more fresh nesting material. We kept it the way it was through the warm weather specifically to prevent what occurred yesterday by having enough air circulating in there to keep them from getting too hot and having this happen. These poor birds are so badly genetically manipulated that few of them survive long after they reach the age of slaughter. The only reason he lasted as long as he did was that we had taken such good care of him. We can only hope that our continued good care will keep the remaining rooster alive.

We are now even more actively pursuing proper mates for him so that he will not be so lonely. We are afraid that the extra strain of grieving will prove to be too hard on him, and we don't want to lose him, too. The problem is that, since he is so big, regular "broiler" chickens and our other hens we have here cannot be put with him because he will hurt them. We have to find similarly large "layer" hens (the ones the industry uses to raise new birds with, not the ones used for unfertilized eggs), to put with him. Any of the others could not withstand the mounting and could sustain great injuries, even to the point of broken bones. So, if anyone knows of or has "spent" layer hens who have been rescued or knows of a chicken farmer that would be willing to let go of some, please contact me ASAP. It really could be a life or death matter for him, as he could literally grieve himself to death. His heart might not be able to withstand the loss of his only friend.

We also lost one of the hens rescued long before I met Laura the day before. Her name was Hester. Nothing really bad happened to her or anything; she was just old, as are several of the ones left here now. The only bright spot in this is that it frees up more room for more rescues, though that fact doesn't help much when you are holding a lifeless body of a friend you have known for years and are digging their grave to return them to Mother Earth. Doing rescue work is hard on the heart, even with the many joys it brings. I have certainly dug too many graves this year...

In other news, to bring you up to date on the bogus "theft" charges brought against Laura and me for trying to return that bag left in the shopping cart in the parking lot of Wal-Mart, the case is now over. We appeared in court to ask for a lawyer. That didn't happen. They were determined to try us that very day without representation and with the very real possibility of us both going to jail and paying huge fines. So, as many innocent, but unrepresented or underrepresented poor people around here, I went ahead and just made a plea deal to save Laura from the possibility of her going to jail for something she didn't do. Yes, I pleaded guilty to something I didn't do (not the first time I have done this, either) in order to spare her and me from being railroaded and probably facing more severe consequences than I received under the plea. As it stands, all I have to do is to pay a fine of $1100 by April. If I don't, then I go to jail. But at least Laura is safe and the charges against her dismissed, though we are both banned from Wal-Mart forever. As you all know, this was only about trying to paint me as "still a criminal" and not at all reformed in order to destroy my credibility. That, and to cost us money. It seems like that has been the latest tactic used against us lately since nothing else has worked to shut me up. They have worked tirelessly to cost us money and to keep me from being able to find even odd jobs in order to earn any money. I haven't reported everything here publicly that they have done, but others know and keep records on all of this should the worst ever happen to me. We don't use your donations for this, though. These types of costs come out of our own shallow pockets. Your money goes only for the support of the animals, unless otherwise specified.

The good news is that the dogs we are fostering are doing well and getting much better. Bill is coming slowly, but surely around, though he is still afraid of just the sight of me and will growl when he sees me. I am not pushing him, though I do call his name out and talk softly to him when I feed and water him each day. Laura and her sister are the ones who have been able to make great strides with him and start building trust. He is going to require a lot of love and patience, though. The sight of him being so afraid, trembling and growling just at the sight of me walking by his pen, makes me want to get my hands on the man who made him this way, though. What a low-down dirty coward to treat a sweet little dog that way!

Spaz has just made himself completely at home and now spends most of his time up at Laura's mother's, laying on one of the chairs on the porch, playing with the kids or other dogs, or lounging inside. Despite our best efforts, we just could not keep that dog in a pen. He always figured a way out no matter what I did. Since being in there was so distressing to him (and Bill didn't like him in there anyway), we finally just gave up and let him do as he pleased. He has stolen the heart of Laura's mother. He is one of those dogs who "grins" at you when he is happy, showing his front teeth as he exuberantly wags his tail. He really is a neat dog, as are they all.

Sophia's eyes are almost completely cleared up, and Jake is as happy as he can be. They play together every day, as do Dusty and Sugar Boy. I wish we could keep them all. But we go through 200 lbs. of food a week now just for them, not counting what we go through for the chickens. We can't do that forever without more help than what we currently are getting. And, even more important, as long as we don't get these dogs placed in homes, we don't have any more spots for more who badly need placement in a loving foster home so that they can return to good health, too. Needless to say, we have just been on an emotional roller coaster ride here lately.

This has been a very hard year for us, but we will soldier on because what we are doing is right and just. The animals need us and just keep coming, as do the questions from people wanting to know more about where their food comes from. This has pretty much become a full-time job for us, though one with no pay, but many heartwarming benefits, despite the heartbreak at the losses of life.

We really couldn't stop now even if we wanted to anyway. Being in the public eye is about the only protection we have. But I will tell all about all of it in the book. You can count on that. Speaking of which, I got a little mini-tape recorder for my birthday to make it easier for me to get the material for the book onto something that Laura can type it up from. Spending the time writing it all out or just trying to dictate it straight to her wasn't working out so well. So, hopefully with this wonderful new gadget, the book will become real a whole lot sooner.

Then, the rest of this long saga not yet reported here on the blog will be told...

Updating You

2005-10-16T14:56:00.000-06:00

Well, the job goes on just as always every day. But then you already know that. Our day-to-day care of rescued animals is routine most of the time. So, let's get on to what we recently did that was different now.

On Oct. 2 we had our little World Farmed Animals Day vigil right here in Pine Ridge and right on our very own road. This is the first time we have had any sort of public demonstration in our area, as we wish to keep being quiet and not create problems where we have to live for the rest of our lives. So, this was a big thing for us, despite the smallness of the way it looks. We didn't hand out any leaflets (we took them to the Walk to give out) or engage in any conversations (which we also did at the Walk), but only one guy flipped me the bird, so it wasn't too bad. At least our presence and feelings were known, just as they were with the Cindy Sheehan vigil.

I put up the newest photos of all of this on the photo page, as I always do, but here are the two pics of our little vigil:

Then ,later that week we headed for Nashville for the Walk for Farmed Animals, where I did a short talk and a long walk. The visit over there also included a wonderful treat - a visit to a pig sanctuary - Shepherd's Green, where they have over 200 pigs. It was amazing to see so many and sad at the same time to know that so many people had gotten them when they were little and cute, then abandoned them when they realized that they would get big and all. Again, the pics of all of this are on the photo page. I would put them here, but it makes it hard for people like me who only have dial-up to have to deal with a bunch of pictures in a post. You never get them all.

Anyway we had a great, if quite chilly Walk and got to see a pig sanctuary. All-in-all another great trip well-spent. Staying with local activists in their homes is a major plus. I want to thank Billye's mother publicly for sharing her home with us while we were there (say "hi" to Hound Dog and Teddy Bear from us, as well as the cats). And, thank you once again, Billye, for putting this thing together, having us out there, and once again having a great time while we did some great things. We raised over $3000 for Farm Sanctuary, about double what we raised last year! So, that was great.

We also had our first bits of information printed up for our own table for the first time. Laura's mother gave her a printer/copier/scanner/fax for her birthday, so now we can do more than we could before. Of course we have already used up two whole printer cartridges since we started, but we did get some stuff printed up and have designed our letterhead and business cards. All we could do in the time permitted was to print the cards up on regular paper and cut them out, but before long we seek to have them printed out on card stock like anyone else.

Our little organization and sanctuary is growing, and we am doing more and more, so we are doing our best to meet the demands being put upon us. It's like trying to run an entire organization with only 2 people, but many groups have started out with only a handful of ompassionate and dedicated people and succeeded. I think that what we are doing is important and makes a difference in the world - a positive one to make up for so much of the bad I did for so many years.

Thank everyone that sent me birthday e-cards and emails. I believe I answered you all individually, but in case I missed anyone, I thank you. Yet one ore year I survived, despite the obstacles. Definitely something to celebrate!

After you get finished checking out the rest of the photos and extra commentary, check out the page for the sanctuary we visited. They are doing great work there, and, like all sanctuaries, work really hard and barely get by. They are always in need of help, so if you live in the area and wish to help, check out their volunteer days. If not, perhaps you might throw them a little cash to help care for all of those animals, some of whom need lots of medical care.

If it is one thing I have learned it is that sanctuaries never pay (that's why the exppansion hasn't gotten anywhere yet+I have to get my chanisaw out of the shop to cut the poles) - you are always pulling money out of your own pockets to keep everyone cared for. When you decide where your donations go, don't forget the people who take in these animals. With people like us and them (as well as other already mentioned on this blog, like the one I did the Blogathon for), the money goes directly to the animals. You are literally saving lives here. Without the public's compassion and support, sanctuaries can only do so much to save so many. And then what? You turn down an animal needing help? Some have had to do just that.

I hope that never happens to us, but it is a worry of mine...

Walk for Farm Animals '05 - Nashville, TN

2005-10-06T16:33:00.000-06:00

**Before I start this post, I wanted to point out to you a new section in the sidebar of some of the most popular posts I have written. If you peruse the archives and see one that you think should be included, by all means, let me know, and I will include it there.**

Yep, I am doing it again. I wanted to take the time to write a quick post to let you all know that if I don't answer your emails this weekend, this is why. And, if you live anywhere near Nashville, please come out and attend. There are plenty of extra T-shirts ordered from Farm Sanctuary for last-minute arrivals to purchase at the low price if only $10. So, if you want to be part of something fun and meaningful, come on out. We had a great turnout last year, though it doesn't look like as many people are going to show up this year. Please make this Walk if you possibly can so that we can show the people of Nashville that so many of us really do care about farmed animals.

Although I am not the main speaker this year, I will be giving another short little speech before we start the Walk. Things should also be a bit better coordinated this year (he crosses his fingers). I look forward to seeing old and new faces there! And now that Laura got a brand new printer/copier/scanner/fax for her birthday, we have printed up a few of my own writings to take with us, as well as some excerpts from the book, "Slaughterhouse," by Gail Eisnitx. We didn't realize how fast a printer cartridge runs out! Next time we will try and get them to a printer. It should be much cheaper and allow us to make more copies, as we were only able to make a dozen of four different printouts before we ran out of ink - two color on our new letterhead and two in black. Our next step is to design our own business cards and labels to be printed. Aren't we getting all professional and all?

We will be back early next week, probably to find overflowing inboxes. Oh well, such is my life. It's worth it. We have made some big differences this year. The temporary downer ban (click here to help make it permanent and include more species than just cows), the stop to the slaughtering of wild horses, the big win that COK managed to get over the use of the "Animal Care Certified" logo, ending the slaughter of wild horses, etc.

There is one more thing I want to point out before I sign off for the weekend. I received this in my inbox this morning and took action on it a while back. I hope you will, too. As we have seen in the past, when the public rises up in large numbers against something, they do in fact create change. We CAN stand up to these industries, protect those that are doing it right, and ensure that the premium price we are paying for organic truly means organic. If the industry can't do it right, then they don't deserve to make the extra profits. It's that simple. Anyway, here is what I received, and I hope that every single person that reads this not only sends an email, but also makes a call (which are more effective) and then sends it to everyone they know:

Over the past two weeks Organic Consumers Association (OCA) network members have bombarded the U.S. Congress with over 100,000 emails and 15,000 telephone calls. Our calls and letters have urged elected public officials to reject the now discredited Organic Trade Association's "Sneak Attack" rider to the 2006 Agriculture Appropriations Bill that would seriously undermine organic standards by removing traditional organic community control over organic standards and centralizing power in the hands of the White House-appointed US Department of Agriculture.

OCA's allies such as the Consumers Union, the Center for Food Safety, the National Campaign for Sustainable Agriculture, the National Coop Grocers Association, the National Organic Coalition, the Health Freedom network, and several hundred organic businesses have also generated thousands of emails and phone calls. Thank you for taking action. This massive grassroots outpouring prompted the U.S. Senate ten days ago to reject the industry Sneak Attack rider and propose a 90-day study to determine proper organic standards on synthetic substances, animal feed, and commercial availability of organic ingredients.

Unfortunately members of the joint House/Senate Conference Committee on Agricultural Appropriations still seem to be listening more closely to powerful industry lobbyists representing Kraft/Phillip Morris, Dean Foods/Horizon Organic/Whitewave, Dole, Smucker/Knudson's, General Mills/Small Planet, Danone/Stonyfield, Aurora Organic, Whole Foods, Wild Oats, and the Grocery Manufacturers of America (Wal-Mart and the supermarket chains), than they are to us. And because this is a last minute, back door Sneak Attack, most of the media, and even most organic consumers, are not yet aware of what's happening.

We have no choice but to move quickly and raise the volume of our protest, double the number of letters and phone calls pouring into Congress, and aggressively take our message to the media. In 1998, 2003, and 2004 OCA and the organic community successfully mobilized and beat back similar attempts to degrade organic standards. Unfortunately this Sneak Attack is an "inside job," organized and funded by powerful pseudo-organic food processors and supermarket chains who have seized control of the Organic Trade Association, hired powerful lobbyists who usually represent big Pharma, tobacco, supermarket chains, and liquor interests, and are moving in for the "big fix."

We need more letters, and we need money now, to lobby Congress and to take our message to the media. Please forward this Action Alert to everyone you know who is concerned about preserving strict organic standards and organic community control over these standards. If you haven't already, please click here to send a letter to your members of Congress http://www.organicconsumers.org/sos.cfm And please click here to send OCA a tax-deductible donation so we can continue to defend the integrity of organic standards. http://www.organicconsumers.org/sos.cfm

Time is running out. We must stop this Sneak Attack in Congress and beat back this unfriendly takeover of the organic industry. For the sake of the Earth and the health of the People, please Take Action Now!

Ronnie Cummins, Co-Founder and National Director, Organic Consumers Association

__________________________________

DONATE TO THE OCA

http://www.organicconsumers.org/donations.htm

__________________________________

Please forward this publication to family and friends, place it on websites, print it, duplicate it and post it freely. Knowledge is power!

Help others learn about food safety, organics, and related topics. Place a link on YOUR website to http://OrganicConsumers.org Banners for your use - http://OrganicConsumers.org/logos.htm
__________________________________

ORGANIC CONSUMERS ASSOCIATION
6771 South Silver Hill Drive
Finland, MN 55603
Phone: (218)-353-7454 Fax: (218) 353-7652

__________________________________

If I don't see you in Nashville, I will be back to talk more early next week. I have some interesting stories to tell, not all of them mine, but we have been just too busy getting ready for this trip and caring for all of these animals to post much of anything this week.

Take care, everyone.

Better yet, take action!

The Newest Foster Dogs

2005-09-30T11:27:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know that I was going to post about this yesterday, but by the time I finally got the pics sent to me, it was late, and we were too tired to mess with it.

We were supposed to get a "hunting dog" and a beagle, but that isn't what happened. What they are calling a "hunting dog" really doesn't fit that description. More of a brindle, though I guess he could have been taught to hunt. Don't really know. Most of these dogs come with very little information if any at all. We do know that his name is Spaz.

The other little dog is more of a terrier mix, maybe a little bit of schnauzer, and has been very abused. Now I see why they had such a hard time catching him. Both of them were afraid when I went out there yesterday and picked up a stick to turn over their food bowls to feed them, but this little guy, named Bill, went up into the dog house and wouldn't come out. I had to come in and get Laura to come out there and coax him out of there to eat. He seems to be afraid of men especially and always keeps his eyes on me, even if she is petting him. You can see that in the pictures of him that he isn't looking at Laura and the camera, but at me, standing off to the side.

Anyway, here are their pictures. You can see the fear in their eyes. Neither one of them has lived a very good life. That is obvious. But now all of that has changed. We intend to spend a lot of time with them, especially Bill, to help him recover trust in humans, especially in men. He won't come to me yet, but he will come to Laura. We don't think he was fed well, either, because he always growls and tries to estblish control over both food dishes, even though we have them as far apart as possible in the pen. This little guy will need lots and lots of love to rehabilitate him. We can't imagine the kind of home he came from. Don't even want to think about it. Laura's heart went out to Bill immediately when he arrived. He was too afraid to even get out of the carrier crate. She looked him in the eyes, petting him, and assuring him that he would never, ever be hurt here. Not anymore. Not ever again. She finally helped to get him out of the crate very gently and get him stnading on the ground, always petting him and talking to him in a loving, soothing voice. Then he wouldn't even walk with us on the leash. I finally had to pick him up and carry him to the yard. Sad. Heartbreaking in fact. It made Laura cry, and she has made up her mind that she will love this dog back into trusting her, then trusting me, then onto trusting other people. She has also decided that she may be the one to find him a home that we know we can trust. All these groups do to find these dogs homes is sit outside of stores and hope that the people who take them will treat them well. she doesn;'t trust that, and she has decided to put extra effort into finding this little guy a special home with someone we know. when you see his eyes, you will see why she instantly bonded with him and was so distraught at his absolute fear.

Here's Bill"

And here is Spaz:

With his head hung low - we couldn't get him to look up at us.

Laura reached out to him in this one and got him to hold his head up so that you could see his face. And those eyes...

As for the others we already have, well, they are doing much better. We are gaining trust with the ones who were too afraid even to be petted at first. They will now come to us and get some good petting and love. The female, whom we have now named Sophia, has had her eyes clear up considerably from when she arrived. She must have been living in filth. They were all crusted, red, and starting to get infected. She was one of the ones who would not come to us, though we could approach her and pet her. We named the male with her Jake. He is playful and happy now. A whole new dog. As soon as we get him fixed, he will be ready to be adopted out.

Speaking of which, For the Sake of Animals isn't doing too well financially. I had told you about them having a thrift store that we shopped at often. Well, they had to close that because they didn't sell enough to cover the rent. So, that money is now gone. We talked to Diane, the lady who brought the dogs to us, yesterday, and she told us that they have 100 dogs on their hands right now and can't afford to fix them all. They are even struggling just to feed everyone. It's hard here. Not enough people care.

In fact, I was talking with some of the local cops in this area that were very appreciative about what we do - taking dumped dogs in, rehabilitating them, and finding them homes. Because you know what happens to the ones who don't get found by people like us on the other end of the county, where no one exists that takes them in? We didn't know before they told me.

They have to go out to the complainant's property and shoot them.

They hate doing it. They love dogs themselves, but this county has no Animal Control, no shelter, no nothing except for the few people like us. They were quite thankful that there were people like us that saved them the horrible task of going out to someone's house to shoot a stray dog who someone else had dumped and who only showed up because they were hungry. They even told me that they get calls from upset tourists who see dogs and chickens run over and splashed all over the road. The sheriff said that these are the people who come to our area and spend money that goes into the county coffers and that pays all of their salaries. So, apparently, we are not only saving lives here, but also saving the county money. And this is a poor county. A very poor county. That's why there is no Animal Control or shelter or anything but the few of us who care to help. This county needs to take in as much money as it can.

Every dog we take in makes a difference. It really does. Every one of them is a saved life and a call that the county sheriff's office didn't have to make - a shot they didn't have to take. An innocent life they didn't have to take. It's that bad here. That's why it is so important that we stay where we are and do what we do. If we ever left, like so many have suggested in the face of all of our harassment for our work, then more innocent and loving dogs would die. Right now we have six total foster dogs. I am only aware of one other person in the county who is a foster to dogs for Warm Hearts (the group that works in our county), and she can only hold 3. We have a neighbor not too far away that will take them in, but many of those end up getting run over in the road, as she has no pens. The rest of them, well...

That's why I appreciate every single donation someone sends. Every life I can save makes a difference. Every chicken, every dog, every cat. The costs are mounting as we take in more and more animals, as are the amounts of time and energy spent taking care of everyone. But what else can we do? When you look into the eyes of these animals, your heart just breaks, and you take them in. But we are worried about getting to the point that we will get so many that we won't be able to adequately take care of them all. Already we spend more on that than we take in each week in donations. It comes out of our own skinny pocket. Someone wrote me the other day and asked if there was any amount to small to send. I told them no - that every little bit helps. And it does. We are now going through 100 lbs. of food here a week on the dogs and the same for the chickens. At $10/50lb. bag, that adds up. There have been several times that we didn't know how we were going to feed everyone another week, only to check our mail and find a $10 donation that kept us going another week. So, every little bit really does matter.

I want to thank everyone again for your support. We couldn't do what we do without you. You are helping to save lives here. You really are. Thank you.

Oppose John Roberts NOW! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-09-28T16:04:00.000-06:00

You know, usually I don't get into politics much on this blog, but this issue is so very important for ALL citizens of America, that I just had to do my little bit to help fight this man. Even as he looks like he will pass confirmation in spite of all of the opposition to him, there are still some fence-sitters, like my own Senator (who did receive a call from this household, I can assure you) and last-minute miracles have been pulled off when enough people have gotten involved and taken action.

Even if you have never done anything like this before, figuring that your one little voice doesn't matter much (and who hasn't felt that way at some point in their lives?), please do this now because it really and truly DOES matter! Yesterday I meant to post this, but we were so busy all day running errands that we just never got a chance to do so. Looks like it wouldn't have done much good anyway of the phone line went mysteriously down. Okay, please stick with me here. Take the time to read this whole post and please take action. White or black (or any other race - doesn't much matter), middle-class or poor, disabled, veteran, or just a regular citizen, this post directly affects YOU!

Really. It will affect every single person in this country for generations no matter who you are.
Read on to find out why.

See, it's like this. I get this newsletter called "The Pen" (subscribe here) that alerts me to things needing my attention. I am sure that most of you reading this blog have received alerts from just about every organization, like MoveOn.org and many others. It seems that just about every single social group is fighting this man! Why?

Well, as today's newsletter states:

If you were listening to Thom Hartmann on his widely syndicated radio program today, you know he was breathing fire in opposition to John Roberts. You also know from your own experience that the primary toll-free telephone number for Congress (877-762-8762) is mysteriously and suddenly out of commission with just a fast circuit busy signal (try it yourself), even in the middle of the night. Yes, Thom thought that was extremely odd also, especially with so many of us calling to declare our strong opposition to John Roberts.

WHAT WE MUST NOW DO is create a permanent record of this situation and use that to generate even more messages and phone calls to the Senate in the next 24 hours. If you are a member of any BLOGS go to ALL of them overnight and start a new thread or article, and/or leave a comment on an existing one. In your own words there are three simple key points we need to make in any order you like:

1) Whether we have in fact overloaded the primary toll-free number with our calls or whether someone deliberately cut the line to slow down the calls, it is in FACT down now.

2) There is a growing ground swell of opposition to the stealth reactionary Roberts that can no longer be ignored.

3) To take action there are two alternative toll-free numbers still working, 888-818-6641 and 888-355-3588, plus an action page that will give you all the direct phone and fax numbers of your own senators, http://www.millionphonemarch.com.

What we want to accomplish is to create as many entries on as many blog threads as possible, to reach as many people as we can who wish they knew what to do to stop this administration from scuttling our Supreme Court, but who just don't where to start. Feel free to make your own arguments as to why Roberts must be stopped, just as you do when you send your personal messages to your senators. If you would like some additional ideas, this piece from OpEd News might be useful (don't know why there is a big gap here, but the info is below, so just scroll down):

http://www.opednews.com/articles/opedne_thepen_050914_we_can_stop_roberts_.htm

Leahy, Feingold and Kohl have been excoriated on the blogs for their judiciary committee votes, which even they admit were "close calls." All we have to do is get one or two of them to heed the voice of the people and the MOMENTUM is on our side. All they simply need to say is that they have been hearing from their constituents, and while they may have been initially inclined to support Roberts, they can no longer do so.

And you can also send your friends who want to know more about why Roberts must be stopped to the one click congressional email and letter to the editor action page, where there are many informative links, at

http://www.millionphonemarch.com

Take heart that we have achieved a lot of radio visibility in the last couple days. More and more people are starting the question why Roberts is being hustled through the process without even a proper examination of what he really stands for. Will it be enough? That is entirely up to us alone. First we must BELIEVE we can win. After that the rest is easy.

We must reach out to our fellow citizens every way we can. Please take action NOW, so we can win all victories that are supposed to be ours, and forward this message to everyone else you know.

Here was what MoveOn had to say:

Tomorrow morning at 11:30 the entire Senate will cast the final vote on the nomination of John Roberts to be the next Chief Justice of the United States.

While the vote count doesn't look promising, Democrats still have the opportunity to show the country that they will defend core values--like equal voting rights, reproductive choice, and basic protections for workers. Every Democratic Senator who comes out against Roberts strengthens that message, and every vote counts.

This week Senators Reid, Obama, Clinton, Kerry and others all came out against Roberts. We can still get a solid majority of Democrats to join them, but only if the last holdouts like Sen. Lincoln step up to do the right thing. With only hours remaining, your voice can make a real difference.

Just tell whoever answers the phone something like:

"Hi, my name is (YOUR NAME) and I live in (YOUR TOWN). I'm calling to ask (SENATOR) to vote against John Roberts's nomination to the Supreme Court. I'd also like (SENATOR) to know that I'm counting on (HIM/HER) to stand firm during the next nomination, and do whatever it takes to protect our basic rights. Thank you."

The reality is tomorrow's vote count doesn't look good. Strong Republican support and division amongst the Democrats makes Roberts's confirmation appear certain. But this is not a time to stay silent. The issues at stake here are worth fighting for till the very end.

In the last week many Democratic Senators have joined leading progressive advocates for civil rights, womens' rights, workers' rights, the disabled and privacy to oppose Roberts' nomination.1 Senator Obama's statement explaining his opposition was particularly powerful:

"[In many of the most important Supreme Court cases]... Legal process alone will not lead you to a rule of decision. In those circumstances, your decisions about whether affirmative action is an appropriate response to the history of discrimination in this country or whether a general right of privacy encompasses a more specific right of women to control their reproductive decisions or...whether a person who is disabled has the right to be accommodated so they can work alongside those who are nondisabled--in those difficult cases, the critical ingredient is supplied by what is in the judge's heart...

The problem I had is that when I examined Judge Roberts' record and history of public service, it is my personal estimation that he has far more often used his formidable skills on behalf of the strong in opposition to the weak. In his work in the White House and the Solicitor General's Office, he seemed to have consistently sided with those who were dismissive of efforts to eradicate the remnants of racial discrimination in our political process. In these same positions, he seemed dismissive of the concerns that it is harder to make it in this world and in this economy when you are a woman rather than a man...

The bottom line is this: I will be voting against John Roberts' nomination."2

The NAACP Legal Defense fund put it this way:

"...it is now apparent that Roberts played a key role in the retrenchment on civil rights during what can only be called the most destructive period for civil rights enforcement in the second half of the 20th century.3

Service Employees International Union (SEIU) cited Roberts's:

"consistent insensitivity to the rights of women, minorities and immigrants and hostility to the role of congress and the federal government in protecting these rights."4

The American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees (AFSCME) said:

"As a lawyer in private practice, John Roberts almost invariably sided with the rich and powerful against workers. This included auto workers crippled by carpal tunnel syndrome, poultry workers fighting for a decent wage, and coal miners striking to ensure the preservation of health care benefits for retired miners."5

Senator Diane Feinstein summarized her opposition this way:

"Simply put, I didn't find the argument that he was just an employee doing what his boss wanted him to do to be credible."6

It's not too late for our Senators to do the right thing and stand up for core progressive values. And whatever happens tomorrow, with the next nomination days away our Senators need to know that the Supreme Court is still worth fighting for. Please call today http://www.supremecourtwatch.org>

(they gave me the number for Senator Lincoln's office, but you have the toll-free numbers above to refer to, but if you happen to live in Arkansas and want her number, it is 202-224-4843):

For more quick facts on John Roberts see:

http://www.savethecourt.org or
http://www.supremecourtwatch.org

For In-depth analysis on John Roberts see:

The NAACP Legal Defense Fund report: (PDF)
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=908

The National Women's Law Center report:
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=909

The People for the American Way report: (PDF)
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=910

Sources:

1 For a complete listing of organizations officially opposing Roberts, see:
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=922

2 Remarks of Senator Barack Obama on the Confirmation of Judge John Roberts
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=935

3 Report on the Nomination of Judge John G. Roberts Jr. to the Supreme Court of the United States , p 2.
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=908

4 Official statement of the Service Employees International Union, September 20th 2005
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=923

5 Official statement of the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees, September 20th 2005
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=936&id=6054-3709730-nJ1lsgQ4983JA1PWUEHCvw&t=5

6 Statement by Senator Dianne Feinstein in Opposition to the Nomination of Judge John G. Roberts Jr. to be Chief Justice
http://www.moveon.org/r?r=937

So, you see, just about everyone is against this guy. he is a true stealth candidate, and I have yet to read even one single good thing to say about him. They won't release the documents they usually release on Supreme Court candidates (much less for the Chief Justice, which definitely set alarm bells going off in my head!) He wouldn't answer pertinent and relevant questions posed to him by Congress. He is just not the man for this job, unless of course you are a multi-millionaire making huge bucks off of the rest of us Americans. That much we have been able to glean from the very small amount of information we have found on this man, as he has fought against just about all of the rest of us, if not ALL of the rest of us time and time again.

How does this tie in to the normal writings on this blog? Well, that ought to be obvious. He is anti-environment, anti-animal, and he even fought against poultry workers being properly compensated. I can't tell you how many people I saw working at Tyson that got carpal tunnel syndrome, arthritis, and other ailments and just struggled to get by - many of them two-parent households and on food stamps to feed their children. It's a given if you work there long enough that you WILL have health problems that will last you the rest of your life. I have just started really seeing it show up greatly recently, just as I have arthritis in my hands, back, and knees (although, to be fair, some of that happened in the military from too many parachute jumps ad from cutting one of my knees with a chainsaw - Tyson just made it worse - way worse). According to my doctor I have the body of a man over ten years older than me, and it will only get worse as I get older. He has seen a lot of that from Tyson workers. After looking at my chart, he said that even if I hadn't gotten out for the reasons that I did, I wouldn't have made it much longer and that I can now rule out working any more hard labor jobs. He saw that I had not used the doctor much in the past ten years, but then the last year or so there, I was in to see a doctor from every week to every month, including many trips to the ER, which were not reported as on-the-job injuries to Workman's Comp.

And he is right. Companies like that use you up and spit you out, so they would have been looking for a way to get rid of me even before the OSHA thing came up. That's the way they have been able to get the numbers down showing that there are fewer injuries, too. There aren't, as Human Rights Watch so aptly proved, but they convince you to go in under the insurance, argue that your condition could have happened at home, and always throw the drug test at you, which you have to pass in order to get Workman's Compensation benefits. So, from a statistical point of view, it looks like the injuries are falling because they aren't being reported, when in fact, they are going up.

And John Roberts was one of the men representing the poultry industry to make sure these people didn't get their much-needed and much-deserved help.

Is this who you want representing your rights and your children's and grandchildren's rights as an American for life???!!!!!!

I don't think so.

Please call one of the numbers ASAP - as soon as you read this. Then pass it along to as many people as possible. Even if we don't win, perhaps we can get the democrats to take a stand (maybe even a few Republicans who will be facing re-election battles next year!), but the least we can do is to make sure that our voices are heard loud and clear.

Because there is still one more vacancy. And you can bet that BushCo and the GOP will be watching to see how may of us take the minute or so to even make that one little call. It's time to get off our collective apathetic butts and take our country back! EVERY single call DOES matter!!! It's too late for emails and petitions, which we have both signed repeatedly. It's down to phone calls. Make them now. Right now. 888-818-6641 and 888-355-3588 or go to http://www.millionphonemarch.com/ for the direct numbers to call like I did. It was worth ten or twenty cents to us to make sure that our Senator heard from us, isn't it to you?????

Tomorrow I will post about our newest residents - we got the two new foster dogs today. Spaz (a sweet and loving brindle) and Bill (a terrier mix), who has been abused. I will post their pics and write them up tomorrow. This took precedence over that.

PLEASE TAKE ACTION AND TAKE IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!