Last week I was thrilled to attend the book release party for “Lost in Suburbia: A Memoir: How I Got Pregnant, Lost Myself, and Got My Cool Back in the New Jersey Suburbs.”  The author and I had long been social media friends, and it is always lovely to put a “real life” face to the name.

Plus, I got a blow out, I’m always up for a good blow out from the fabulous Lux Salon in Bethesda. This is me pre blow out:

This is me after blow out, and after I had won an awesome set of sheets from Fresh Linens.  Great hair do, new awesome book to read, AND great new sheets: BEST EVENT EVER.

Also in the swag bag was the most amazing clinical grade skin care, Theraderm.  I’ve been using the products for a week and my skin looks amazing.  Another product in the Swag bag, Unite Luxury and Shine moisture creme, which I love, and is helping with my fight against frizz in the DC humidity, is no where to be found online.  I may have to drive over to the salon just to buy it.  That is how committed I am to my hair.

The best part of the event, as with all events, was just hanging with my friends.  Seeing the cast of Listen to Your Mother, some of which I haven’t seen the the show.  Listening to Tracy read from the book, what she read was HILARIOUS.  Drinking wine and eating cheese.  I ate a lot of cheese.  And the delicious cookies.

I haven’t started the book yet.  I’m saving it for long lazy days this summer at the pool.

Disclosure: This post is not sponsored.  All products mentioned were gifted to me as an attendee of the event.  All opinions are my own.  Some links are affiliate links.

Jodi blogs at Jodifur about life, motherhood, working, and shoes. Mostly shoes.

It has been a rough couple of days around here because I’ve had to tell my inquisitive young kids about some sad and anxiety-provoking news.  My son, Noah, is five and my daughter, Mallory, is three.  He is a high functioning autistic and that means that I never really know if a serious topic will resonate with him or if he will just look at me and laugh or pinch my checks because he doesn’t understand my body language and emotions which I’m thinking about very carefully as I present the sad news that our family’s cat has died.

It’s never easy when a family pet dies.  Last week, our cat died and I had to figure out a way to tell the kids.  I decided that I would tell them later in the evening when I thought they would both be more calm and sit still long enough for us to talk about it.  I was going to follow the adage that you find out what they know or hold to be true and then shape that existing belief. HospiceNet and PBS Parents both encourage talking about death because kids are aware of death; they see a dead bug, a dead ant or animal on the side of the side of the road, and well before we even know it, they become aware.  What we don’t know without talking to them is if they are scared or worried or have misconceptions.

If we permit children to talk to us about death, we can give them needed information, prepare them for a crisis, and help them when they are upset. We can encourage their communication by showing interest in and respect for what they have to say. 

Just before bath time, I gathered them, an accomplishment in itself, really, and I asked if they knew what dying meant.  I didn’t get a response so I proceeded to tell them that Guinness, our cat died.  I explained that he was old and sick and that he doesn’t hurt anymore.  They didn’t ask any questions, still.  I further explained that he didn’t live here anymore and that when you die you go to heaven.

Then they both jumped up and ran away to play.

So, … yeah …. that went over well.

Many of children’s concerns focus on body functions that are important to them– “Can a dead person or animal get hungry…feel cold…make a bm or pee-pee in the ground?” Children don’t mean to be rude or hurt anybody’s feelings with what they ask or say. They’re just wondering about a lot of different things at the time of a death. Asking the same questions again and again gives them another chance to test our answers and gradually come to their own understanding.

Of course, the finality of death is the hardest thing to comprehend, particularly for young children. After all, their friends “play dead,” then get up and run around again. A child whose mother had died asked, “Is Mommy coming back for my birthday?” It takes a long time for children to realize that death is permanent.

The next day, at bedtime, Mallory looked at me and very matter-of-factly declared, “Guinness died.” And I took that as my opportunity to confirm that, yes, he did, we miss him and did she have any questions.  This simple exchanged happened several times over the next few days and each kid told a different relative or family friend and got positive support in return.  While not surprised, I was concerned that she had been carrying this around and worrying.

I really like what HospiceNet has to say about what to say to kids and how even if we don’t talk about something, kids read our faces, our body language and if i we don’t talk about death, they interpret that to mean they can’t talk about it either.  I really tried to ask both kids if they had any questions.  I was calm and emotionally available when they brought up the issue.  I was prepared to say that Heaven is a nice place where you don’t hurt anymore but that some people believe different different things.  I was prepared to give them as much information as they wanted but careful not to overwhelm them with age-inappropriate details.

Stacy Kravitz is a contributing writer at The DC Moms.  She has a husband, two kids, two dogs, a fish and a minivan. You can find her older writings at The Fabulous Miss S. and her current project, AutMont, a website dedicated to resources and information for Special Needs children and their families in Montgomery County, Maryland.

UGG Australia usually connotes one thing: soft shearling boots worn by everyone from A-list celebrities to snazzily dressed toddlers. So when UGG approached me about their “Let’s Get Lost” initiative to outfit select families with shoes and then send them to a zoo to get lost in an adventure, my first thought was “Of course” and then my second thought was “Boots in May? How’s that going to work?” Luckily for me, UGG Australia has way more than their classic boots available.

Last Saturday morning, my family trekked to Washington D.C.’s Georgetown store (1249 Wisconsin Ave NW, between Prospect & N St.), where store manager Sean and his staff Gabi, Julio, and Kidist paid undivided attention to us as we looked for sturdy Spring shoes to wear to the National Zoo on a rainy, cloudy day.

My daughter, 8, had the easiest time picking out shoes with Gabi’s help (it should be noted that she’s the only one of us who actually owned a pair of UGG shoes already, the Classic boots in black) . A budding fashionista, she quickly narrowed her choices to a pair of tan loafers and pink Gladiator sandals. To my surprise, she picked the Marin loafers (retail price, $65) in Fawn. She said they were “comfy” and “cute,” plus she didn’t want to wear sandals on a rainy day.

My oldest son, 11, asked Sean to help him pick out a pair, since he’s already a men’s 8.5, and Sean pointed him in the direction of a perfect pair of leather black sneakers, the Men’s Vanowen ($120). He put them on and didn’t want to take them off. He’s not exactly into shoes, but he knows what he likes, and the sneakers were perfect for him — nothing fancy or overly adult looking. The “baby” (well, he’s 5, but we still think of him that way) had a much harder time finding anything to wear, but after a lot of persistence, Kidist found him the Halfhitch ($60), a simple navy boat shoe with a velcro strap instead of laces.

My husband was ogling the motorcycle boots but fell in love with the much more season-appropriate Barren loafers ($150). And I decided to also go with Gabi’s suggestion and ended up with these ridiculously comfortable Azin boat shoes in Seal grey ($100). After we huddled together for a snapshot of all our new shoes, we drove a couple of miles up to the National Zoo and had an easy going afternoon looking at the animals, because the weather kept most people away. Our favorite stops were looking at the pandas, the zebras and the elephants.

Even the Spring shoes we picked had a tiny swath of signature UGG shearling in the heel. We were all impressed at how comfortable the shoes were, even walking 10,000+ steps for a couple of hours around the zoo. And then after the zoo, we had a long day of birthday parties, spring fairs and family dinners to attend, and each of us got complimented at least twice without prompting. So thanks UGG for not only providing us with beautiful, stylish shoes, but for encouraging us to visit our awesome National Zoo, which is F-R-E-E to all.

I realize UGG shoes aren’t inexpensive, but the kids’ shoes were only $10-$15 more than most of the shoes I get them. And my husband and I will be able to wear our shoes for years. As for my 11-year-old son, yes he’ll grow out of the $120 leather sneakers, but he’s been wearing them A LOT, so at least they won’t be sitting in the closet for special occasions. If you’re looking to splurge on a pair of high quality shoes that are stylish, well crafted and comfortable, consider UGG Australia for more than their ubiquitous boots!

FTC Disclosure: UGG Australia sponsored this post by providing me with five pairs of shoes from their Georgetown retail store. The zoo trip was free, and all opinions about the shoes and our experience are my own.

The contest is over. Congratulations to the winner, Sunny!

Update: Sunny had an extra lucky day today, not only did she win the tickets, but she gave birth, which means she can’t use the tickets, so they go to our other entrant, Karol!

I’ve never read Fifty Shades of Grey. I was busy writing my own stuff or re-reading Pride and Prejudice or stretched out on the chaise lounge with a cool cloth pressed to my forehead lamenting the fall of civilization. A friend of mine read the books. She’s a librarian, and when she told me she used a tone which suggested she was confessing a great sin. “It’s awful, but I can’t stop.” I knew then  that I could never start reading the books because while I have learned that I must never buy shoes that aren’t absolutely comfortable in the store I have not yet learned the art of putting down a book that I have begun. If I was going to read Fifty Shades I was going to read all of it and I was sure I didn’t have the time for that.

I did, somehow, have time for  the hilarious extended book report over at Re d Lemonade (NSFW, contains all the language.) which might take as long to read as the actual novel, but it has the snark built in, and I love snark. With only that much education about the world of Fifty Shades, I jumped at the chance to go see Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody at the Fillmore in Downtown Silver Spring, because I usually jump at free theater tickets and because it promises a lot of snark.

Did you read Fifty Shades of Gray? Did you read it with a book group relishing every word? Did you borrow it from the library and cover it in brown paper so you could read it covertly during your kid’s swim class? Did you start to read it and then toss it aside? Did you refuse to read it on principle, with or without the occasional lament about the state of the publishing industry? If you answered “yes” to any of the above, I think you might be interested in Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody, playing Friday, May 24th at 7:00 PM.

As you can see from the trailer, the target audience is a girls’ night out, but I’m taking my husband because I’m crazy that way. And I’m taking you, too, if you’re lucky, because I have two tickets to give away for Wednesday, May 22nd at 7:00 PM.

To enter to win the free tickets for Wednesday, leave a comment below. Winner will be randomly selected on the morning of Monday, May 20th. If Wednesday is no good for your, click here to buy tickets for the Friday show.

Jennifer Thorson is a birth doula, author, and occasional blogger at Bread, Wine, Salt. Her novel is nothing like Fifty Shades of Grey. Questions, comments and compliments are welcome.

Riverdale Park Farmers’ Market is a regular Thursday destination for me and my two boys. We go whenever we can, and we always end up staying a lot longer than we need to.

At three o’clock in the afternoon, when the market opens, it’s a great place to get fresh produce, meats, cheeses, breads and other goodies. RPFM is a producer only market, so you can chat with the farmers about what they sell.  It’s also a good place for an afternoon pick-me-up: iced coffee from Zekes, or fresh lemonade from Migue’s Donuts, or ice cream from Simple Pleasures. I hand my kids a few dollars and make them order their own treats, after we’ve rehearsed the “please and thank-you.” They like to help pick out berries, corn, greens, melons, and apples as they come into season.  If there’s something perfectly ripe they want to eat it right away. When the kids start to get bored with standing around while I ponder the flowers at Jack Creek plants, they head over to the sidewalk tables to watch the trains. Chris from the Riverdale Model Railroaders Club is there every other week, entertaining folks with a four-table, multi-rail train set up, and there’s sidewalk chalk for the young artists. In the peak of summer there’s a sprinkler tents to wash off the heat and sweat and whining.   As the afternoon wears into the dinner hour live music drifts over from the performance tent. Folks coming home from work stop to buy some groceries for the week, meet friends and family, maybe pick-up crepes, barbecue or Indian fare for dinner. You can take it home or take a seat at the shaded tables and share conversation with other market fans. We often run into friends there, or just the people we see at the market regularly.

Riverdale Park Farmers’ Market is a producers only market in Prince George’s County. During the summer the market runs from 3pm-7pm. Follow the signs for the Riverdale MARC station. You can sign up for their newsletter on their website, or follow them on Facebook.

Jennifer Thorson is a birth doula, author, and occasional blogger at Bread, Wine, Salt. Questions, comments and compliments are welcome.

Last week, I became addicted to a new show. It all started when I was desperately searching for a cute Asian actor to include in a story about the upcoming adaptation of the YA trilogy “The Infernal Devices” by Cassandra Clare. I had a lot of trouble finding teen/early 20s half-Asian actors on IMDB, so I asked the Twitterverse, and two friends recommended Jordan Rodrigues from Australia’s hit teen show “Dance Academy.” I’d never heard of it, but apparently it’s on Teen Nick here in the States.

My trusted friend Alli suggested I watch it on Netflix to check out Jordan’s performance, so I watched one episode and then figured, let’s go for two, and soon enough, I couldn’t stop watching. It’s like “Glee” but with dancers instead of show-choir singers, and it takes place at the fictional National Dance School of Australia, a boarding school for elite high-school ballet dancers in Sydney. The cast, above, isn’t quite as diverse as “Glee,” but there is a Jewish kid (Sammy), a country mouse in the big city (Tara), two rich half siblings (Kat and Ethan), an overly competitive, Hermionesque girl who only lives for dance (Abigail), and Jordan’s character Christian, whose had a tough life — dead mom, deadbeat dad, juvenile record.

The show is chaste enough for mature tweens and all teens. There are lots of crushes and some kissing scenes, as well as a couple of end-of-term experiments with alcohol, but it’s a great show that deals with various adolescent issues. In fact, if you let your kid watch “Glee,” then “Dance Academy” should be a no brainer; there’s a lot less sex and innuendo on “DA” than the kids at McKinley High get up to! Plus, the dancing is remarkable: all of the leads are actual dancers, and it’s inspiring to watch teens so committed to such a rigorous art form.

Between the earnest teen emotions, the frequent moments of humor, the adorable romances,  the awesome dance sequences and the gorgeous background shots of Sydney — I was hooked! So if you’re looking for a TV show to explore with your tween or teen (particularly girls!) this summer, check out “Dance Academy.” If you don’t have TeenNick or Netflix, the first two seasons come out on DVD tomorrow, May 14. I can’t wait for season 3, which airs in Australia this summer!

When she’s not letting her inner teenager pick her shows, books, and movies, Sandie blogs about Young Adult literature at Teen Lit Rocks and reviews movies and books at Common Sense Media.

It’s officially Teacher Appreciation Week and I know that you, like me, have a million other things on your plate. Thank goodness this “holiday” lasts an entire week so you (and I!) still have plenty of time to put together quick, easy and thoughtful gifts for the teachers in our children’s lives!

At my son’s school, the PTA is putting together a teacher appreciation breakfast. I don’t have the time to bake this year, so I volunteered to do the early morning Dunkin’ Donuts coffee run so that fresh Boxes o’ Joe are in the teachers’ lounge when they arrive tomorrow morning. But I’d still like to do something special, just from our family, for Lucas’s homeroom teacher and the reading specialist who has worked so closely with him this semester.

Since I’m still brainstorming those gift ideas, I thought it might be helpful to share some of the sites I’m relying on for inspiration.

Tech Savvy Mama suggests five ways parents can help teachers at the end of the school year — these are great ideas for teacher appreciation week as well as the last month and a half (or so!) of school. She also has great ideas for teacher appreciation gifts around $5.

Amy at Living Locrato has great DIY teacher appreciation gift ideas and I’m a huge fan of her free printables on Pinterest. In fact, I used her “Thanks a Latte” printable a few weeks ago to thank our front office staff for Administrative Professionals Day.

My friend Amy over at taylorseast is much more on the ball than me and had her gifts (and a blog post about them) ready first thing Monday morning. Her cookies and note are sweet and simple!

I always love Skip to My Lou‘s DIY gift ideas and am particularly impressed with this gift idea which is tailored to a male teacher.

In the end, though, I truly do believe that a handwritten note from you or your child (or better yet, from both of you!), truly is what teachers value the most. For me, the confirmation of this is the incredibly sweet note that one of my mom’s students sent her several years ago: Mom framed it and keeps on display in her house.

Happy Teacher Appreciation Week to any teachers who might be reading this blog. And to all the parents of students — I hope I’ve helped you with some last-minute ideas to celebrate the teachers in your life this week!

When Aimee isn’t dreaming about free printables, you can find her blogging at Smiling Mama and sharing the many awesome things to do in Prince George’s County, MD on her Facebook page, Family Friendly Prince George’s.

I recently read this article from The Guardian newspaper. It made me think.

In case you don’t have the time to read it (though you really should), I’ll briefly go over its main points:

• Controlled crying seems cruel. Why do we do it?
• Parents in other cultures hold their babies close, carry them, feed on demand, sleep with babies and young children. These babies do not grow up to be dependent but rather very independent children.
• Many people in modern/civilized societies like the idea of controlled crying because it fits with our routine. It turns babies into schoolchildren and ultimately workers who will do what’s demanded of them, on time.
• Children (in other cultures) who have freedom are happy.
• Children who have autonomy over when and what they eat are happy.
• Unrestricted, unsupervised outdoor play leads to happier children and therefore happier adults.
• Children will learn to self-regulate their behavior if left alone with each other.

So I read the first parts and patted myself on the back because, as a classic approval-seeker, I like it when people say I’m doing it right. Hooray for attachment parenting, which just happened to be what worked for me and my kids.

But then I got to the rest. Autonomy, you say. Freedom makes happiness. That’s lovely.

Letting them run wild in packs to socialize themselves? Haven’t you read Lord of the Flies? (What do you mean, that’s fiction? It’s clearly a well-researched thesis founded in evident fact describing what happens when you leave children alone to form their own society.)

Finding their own food when the mood strikes? That’s all very well when they can rummage for a strip of smoked reindeer meat or catch themselves a fish, but if what they’re most likely to find is my hidden stash of chocolate chip cookies – that’s not going to turn out well, is it?

Going to bed when they want to? All very well if nobody has to get up for school in the morning, and if the children are outside in the midnight sun entertaining each other whittling sticks or whatever it is they’re doing, but if they’re in my house and I want to watch Doctor Who and eat my chocolate-chip cookies in peace, I want them to be asleep before I am. Not to mention my friend who went to bed with her baby and left the six-year-old downstairs with Daddy, assuming he’d tell her when it was time to retire. At one a.m. my friend happened to wake, discovered the big girl was not in bed, went downstairs, and found her happily playing Barbies. I know that’s exactly what my four-year-old would do, if left to her own devices.

Okay, so I could wax cynical about this for a while, but the obvious truth is that we don’t live in tribal-type societies where it’s fine for all the kids to run in packs and socialize each other without adult intervention. We mostly live in nuclear-type families who all, like it or not, do have schedules. I’d get into big trouble with the other parents on the playground if I was the only one whose kids had no imposed boundaries – this has to be a society-wide thing to work.

So what can we do? How can we help our children towards independence, freedom, and happiness within the constraints of our modern lifesyle? This is what I’ve been thinking about, and I’ve come up with a few ideas.

• I can turn off the screens and shoo them out of the house more often.
• I can let them work things out between themselves and hang back a little more rather than jumping in as soon as there’s a disagreement. (We can give them tools of speech and hints of what’s expected behavior to help them with this, so that the times we have to intervene to stop physical violence are minimized.)
• I can try not to stress if they don’t eat what I want them to when I think they should eat it.
• I can make healthy snacks readily accessible so that if they don’t eat dinner they can get their own apple or banana or cheese stick an hour later.
• I can relax a little if my kids don’t hop to it as soon as I tell them to, just because: I want my children to think for themselves, don’t I, rather than following the herd or going along with things just because they were under orders?

Let me leave you with the final lines of the article, because surely this is what we all strive for as parents, and it’s a mantra worth repeating to yourself as the house descends into chaos and you wonder if the small people you’re responsible for will ever make it to the land of reason and maturity, and if you’ll still be sane when it happens:

“The true opposite of obedience is not disobedience but independence. The true opposite of order is not disorder but freedom. The true opposite of control is not chaos but self-control.”

While trying hard to ignore her children in the hopes that they’ll socialize themselves, Christine is usually typing feverishly at her laptop with a cup of tea in hand, updating her blog at Awfully Chipper. All opinions are her own, and she reserves the right to change her mind tomorrow. All photos are from Flickr Creative Commons.

When I was a girl, I watched a LOT of television. I would say that it was a bad thing, but I still managed to graduate near the top of my class, read a ton of books, go to youth group, have friends, and even do my chores. I wasn’t an athlete, but I don’t think that had so much to do with my TV watching as my general clumsiness, not to mention my mom’s misguided belief that only boys and tomboys should play sports. In any case, I remember watching primetime dramas like “Moonlighting,” “L.A. Law” and “St. Elsewhere” as a kid (and can even hum the theme songs to prove it).

Looking  up the years those shows were on the air, I was 9, 10, and 6, respectively. That doesn’t mean I was SIX when I started watching them, but I was definitely in elementary school. Flash forward to my life a mother and entertainment writer, and I realize that I’m a huge hypocrite. My 11-year-old son barely watches any scripted television that’s not on one of the “kid” channels like Nickelodeon or Disney. And even those he’s not a big fan of, so he tends to stream “Mythbusters,” “How It’s Made,” and a bunch of Discovery and PBS documentaries on Netflix or Hulu. My daughter, who’s 8, claims her friends watch “Glee” and “Modern Family,” but I’ve yet to let her watch more than the occasional YouTube clip of a dance from “Dancing with the Stars” or a “Glee” mashup. OK, and occasionally we watch “Say Yes to the Dress” if it’s On Demand.

Part of the issue is that families no longer watch television together the way they used to, particularly live. Probably the only show I watch live these days is “Game of Thrones” which is an ADULT show. My husband and I watch it together every Sunday night. Otherwise, we wait until something’s on the DVR. You would think that would make it *easier* to let my kids, especially my oldest (the youngest is five and has no business watching anything but children’s programming, in my opinion) watch a “real” show, but he hasn’t asked, and I haven’t offered.

So my question to those of you with teens and tweens is, what do you watch with your children? Is it all reality shows? Do you watch any sitcoms or (eek!) dramas together? I’d really love to know, because on the one hand I think it would be fun to have my soon-to-be middle schooler “graduate” from kid shows and nature documentaries, but on the other hand, I figure he isn’t really missing out!

The Editor of The DC Moms, Sandie blogs about Young Adult literature at Teen Lit Rocks and reviews movies and books at Common Sense Media.