The Daily Comics Review

Holy God It's Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well, happy Thanksgiving everyone (even if you aren't in the United States, you probably still have something to be thankful for). As with Halloween, I'm gathering up all the comic strips that are about the holiday. I thought that maybe there wouldn't be so many, but then I realized some things:
-Thanksgiving is totally non-secular
-It is mainly about football and eating
This makes it pretty much the most American thing ever, so when this is done, there will be nearly a hundred comics on this page since I'm updating whenever I get a few minutes. Oh dear god. For the sake of time, I'm not resizing or putting the date for any of these. They're all from today, except for the classic FoxTrot which is showing today anyway.

6 Chix

A lot of them are like this: simple wishes for a happy Thanksgiving.

Blondie

I fail to see why this would be a good idea in anything but theory, but I guess some people like chocolate turkeys.

Crankshaft

Crankshaft is part of another breed: the Thanksgiving storyline. As usual, Crankshaft messed the holiday up. It wasn't anything special.

Crock

Why is the French Foreign Legion celebrating Thanksgiving? Furthermore, how do they keep eating Chester? He's a reoccurring character whose sole purpose is to get eaten. Also, if he gets eaten, he can't talk to his mother at all.

Curtis

Curtis was doing a storyline, too, but chose to do this today instead. I don't mind, it's sort of classy.

Dennis the Menace

You know what? Up yours, Dennis.

Brilliant Mind of Edison Lee

Edision Lee was also doing a storyline, but chose to take a brief segue to do this joke about how Orville likes pie. At least it's not being political.

Family Circus

Up yours, too, Billy. You fat piece of stupid.

Funky Winkerbean

The band director (Harry something or other) loves Thanksgiving because it reminds him of his former life when he was happy, unlike every other character in this strip. Then he lost his hearing, and now he's like this. Smile while you can.

Grin and Bear It

The pilgrims ate what they could so they wouldn't die, you stupid kid.

Hazel

The first of many football jokes we'll be seeing today. Some of them are even funny, if you can believe it.

Hi and Lois

Lois has that look on her face because Thurston is wearing a loin-cloth, but he doesn't really know how they work. Ditto is smiling for the same reason.

The Lockhorns

The Lockhorns celebrate even though they have nothing to be thankful for at all.

Mallard Fillmore

Mallard Fillmore, likes always, takes any sort of happiness or joy you can have on a holiday and defecates all over it. I hate you, Mallard Fillmore.

Marvin

I hope they all choke and die on their burnt turkey.

Pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving Comics Post!

2009-11-25T14:51:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I don't have any idea if Mike will be making a post but just in case I decided to pre-empt him with one a day early. BOOYA SPIDER-MAN GUY!

Nedroid 11/25/09

I'm thankful for xy and Mike, all our Project Wonderful advertisers and our amazing fans!

XKCD 11/24/09

Something about this time of year always reminds me of that damn ski game. Somebody needs to remake it in 3d or maybe make a full length motion picture based on it. Rainbow jumps, annoying snowboarders, logs, dogs and snow monsters!

The Middletons 11/25/09

So did you know this whole "turkey makes you sleepy" thing is total shit? Please enlighten yourself and everyone you know so we can stop these LIES! Here's an article backing it up.

Dinosaur Comics 11/25/09

In America it is easy to forget that not everywhere is the same as here. For example did you know in Canadia they don't even celebrate the fourth Thursday of November? Come on Canadia, get with the times already!

Sooooooo Yeah....

2009-11-24T15:47:00.000-08:00

Besides coming up with awful post titles, I also need to apologize because I forgot to thank Mike for a spectacular 500th post. You rock Mike! Also sorry for the late post, and sorry for only doing 2 comics, and sorry that the commentary isn't very good. Hopefully xy will return in December so you've only got to deal with me two days a week.

B.C. 11/24/09

So a guy kidnaps you and he's about to kill you and he looks at your bellybutton and he's like "ewww an outie!" and then he just dumps you in the woods instead of turning you in to his next skin-coat. Do you sit there and go "gawd I'm such a reject!"?

F Minus 11/24/09

While I've been away all these months I haven't read any print comics besides the ones in the posts on this site and I just realized how much I missed F-Minus. I would totally bring my own stool to a party if the thought crossed my mind.

Some Awesome Stuff, Then Some Other Stuff

2009-11-23T16:51:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the late post. I swear, it's not you - it's me.

Last Kiss 11/23/09

Here is your first awesome thing in today's post, presuming you appreciate boobs (everyone should).

Bliss 11/23/09

That bird looks.... delicious. Unbeknownst to most people turkeys actually are one of the top five ugliest creatures currently in existence. If not for their tastiness they would have been wiped from the planet much like the ugly ass dodo and people who had mullets in the 80s.

Non Sequitur 11/23/09

A contest? Go forth DCR devotees and scare the world with your inappropriate suggestions!

Brainwaves 11/23/09

We had an awesome bird two comics back, so here we have 2 birds that are so fat there is no way they could achieve take-off. I'm not size-ist or nothin, but that lady-bird friend of yours might have left for some other reason than the song thing. Just saying.

Birdbrains 11/23/09

GOOD GOD THAT IS HORRIFYING!

Cul De Sac 11/23/09

And now you feel like you're hallucinating. I think my work today is done.

500th Post Pseudo-Spectacular!

2009-11-20T03:59:00.000-08:00

According to Blogger, this is the five hundredth Daily Comics Review post! To celebrate, I decided to go back and take a look at the very first DCR post and comment on the comics presented there. Except, you know, these are the new ones.

Alley Oop, 11/20/09

Since the first post, Alley Oop went through several months of having one panel a day, accompanied by dinosaur fan art sent in by little kids. Dinosaurs are really the only reason to read this strip, but considering the odd specimen we're given in the first panel (what is that thing? Did a stegosaurus and an aptosaurus have a kid or something?) they can find better dinosaurs elsewhere. Also, since I don't follow this strip, I have no idea if Ooola is happy to be marrying Alley or not, but all things considered (neither party seems too into the marriage idea) shenanigans will ensue. This will not make me follow the strip at all.

Beetle Bailey, 11/20/09

If Beetle put as much effort into working as he does into avoiding work, he'd probably have a lot more free time. I do feel a little sorry for Killer, since it seems like Sarge has just given him a bunch of metal garbage to put together somehow. Oh, and if Beetle is truly into relaxation as much as he claims, why is he wearing shoes on his bed? Those are the first things I'd take off.

Ben, 11/20/09

There's more than two radio stations, old guy. I should not anger you, however, since the way you pushed that button insinuates that you telekinetic powers.

Big Nate, 11/20/09

That kid is stupid at basketball.

Crock, 11/20/09

Are these two panels from different days, or does Crock need tailgate food for the memorial service? Maybe Crock is going to a football game with the guy in panel one and, since he doesn't know if he'll be back, he doesn't want to get all ready for a tailgate party and wind up having to do it alone? I don't know. Crock is stupid at comics.

Lio, 11/20/09

Aw... how sweet. I wonder who the voodoo doll was going to be used against, though. Also, since he's hugging it, is that person now feeling themselves being hugged? We will never know these answers.

The Pajama Diaries, 11/20/09

Okay, this is in my local paper, so I know that Nanci woman is supposed to be an African-American. Why is she just tan right there? Also, why are that woman's lips black? Did she become a goth between half-panels or something?

Pardon My Planet, 11/20/09

I'd be more worried about the fact that the backs of your hands are inexplicably hairy than dreaming that you're a ladybug. Besides, ladybugs get to go to ladybug picnics and their children die in horrible fires. Uh... I guess that second one isn't so much of a plus unless you really dislike children.

Spider-Man, 11/20/09

...what? I have to talk about this twice today? I'll go into character stuff on the MEG, but here, I'll just mention how much I like Spider-Man's conversational tone in talking to Bigshot. Oh, and in the third panel, it looks like Bigshot is about to kiss Sandman. In fact, you could take that panel wildly out of context and have the first two panels be something completely off-the-wall and it'd make just as much sense. Examples:

In fact, I'd say that last use of the panel makes "Edison Lee" a lot better.

State of the Union, 11/20/09

To quote GIR from "Invader ZIM": Why is his head so big? WHY IS HIS HEAD SO BIG?

There's like a billion quotes about big heads from that show, but that is the one that popped into my (normal-sized) head. And here's to at least another 500 posts for the DCR!

Over-Analyzation

2009-11-19T02:04:00.000-08:00

Today, I over-analyze things and I'm probably not very humorous at all. At least there's a bunch of words for you to read, eh? Yeah. Maybe someday I'll learn humor. For now, read on:

La Cucaracha, 11/19/09

TACO CART GUY'S TACOS ARE MADE FROM PEOPLE!

Crock, 11/19/09

Moskos should just kill Crock. Doing it with the machine gun would have been quick and easy, but I'm betting that doing him in with the shovel would be far more satisfying and fun. Also, he could bury the body when he was done! Very convenient.

Wit of the World, 11/19/09

Here's some stuff from Italy and Israel. I want to bring your attention to the second one, with the man who inexplicably has a hole in his head that shoots light out of it. Also, he's crossing his legs in a very dainty, almost lady-like, manner. We should all fear this man, especially since the hole in that helmet should, in no way, line up with the one on his head. Ah, and he may be on the moon, which may explain everything.

Frog Applause, 11/19/09

Wouldn't the top part of a Pop Tart just be the frosting and, perhaps, some of its innards? Whatever that... girl, I guess, is doing, she's not eating just the top part. She's eating the whole thing, which is the equivalent of a man drinking a can of "Sprite" and saying how much he likes drinking "Pepsi".

Sherman's Lagoon, 11/19/09

I only put this up because the concept of a Yeti Crab fascinates me, especially since he seems to be living in sin with the Loch Ness Monster. However, once I did a tiny bit of research, I found out that the Yeti Crab isn't mythical at all. Just sort of new. Also, it's frequently called the "furry lobster" which just sounds wrong.

Arctic Circle, 11/19/09

I have no idea why Oscar looks so down in the last panel. Is it because there were no hits? Is it because people were saying nasty things about him? I decided to do a Google search. The first page primarily features Oscar Wilde, then it just devolves into nonsense after that. The images are just a bunch 0f random pictures, including one of the comic strip character. So I have no idea what he's so down about, unless he really dislikes Oscar Wilde for some reason.

Too Hardcore to Blog

2009-11-18T19:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry everybody, I can't get around to posting today. Next week I'll do my best to actually get my 3 posts done! Enjoy some Cyanide and Happiness. This might become the default comic we post whenever we can't get around to actually doing our jorb. That's just how we roll.

Lets Laugh at Things That Aren't Funny!

2009-11-17T12:15:00.000-08:00

LETS YELL AND LOSE OUR MINDS, OH YEAH!

Herman 11/17/09

OLD PEOPLE! BLACK AND WHITE TV AND KIDS NOT UNDERSTANDING IT! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Drabble 11/17/09

WOMEN TALK TOO MUCH! OH GOD GO SHAKE HER HAND A LOT HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Ben 11/17/09

PUT ON A SWEATER BITCH! OH I'VE ALREADY GOT A SWEATER ON YOU ASSHOLE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! THERMOSTATS! WINTER!

Bound and Gagged 11/17/09

GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE BROKEN PLATES SO I CAN GOUGE OUT MY EYES AND I"LL NEVER BE ABLE TO READ B&G AGAIN! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Herb and Jamaal 11/17/09

HERB IS AN AWFUL HUMAN BEING! LOL ROFLMAO HA HA HA HA HA!

Of Dicks and Family Circus

2009-11-16T12:33:00.000-08:00

I think that each and every Monday I will try to bring you some comics that have nothing to do with sex, but if you read them in the right(wrong) frame of mind it will make them dirty and awful, hopefully for your enjoyment! This is going to be tasteless so hopefully you've recently had your tongue removed.

Bizarro 11/16/09

Speaking of oversized equipment, eh he he he he......

Zits 11/16/09

Is it normal to talk to your parents about your friends.... uh.... junk?

Buckles 11/16/09

This one is for you Sparky, I'm not even going to explain it. We don't need Google increasing our page rank for bestiality any more than it already is.

Mutts 11/16/09

It's nice to have something in common with Earl.

Family Circus 11/16/09

What the hell? This doesn't compute - is Billy trying to climb up in to that tree from the fence on to that tiny branch? He doesn't need a guardian angel, just some common fucking sense. DICKS!

TGIF

2009-11-13T15:22:00.001-08:00

It's Friday, and that used to MEAN something. Among other things, it meant that I would have a guaranteed two days off of school (and when I worked full-time, work) and it also meant that there'd be two-hours of pretty lame shows on that I would watch anyway because it was Friday, darn it, and Cartoon Network hadn't been invented yet. Besides, it had shows like "Perfect Strangers" and "Dinosaurs". Granted, it also had "Full House" for a season, and I hate that show with unbridled passion. There were other good shows, too (like one season of the Muppets) but it eventually died out. In any case, here's your comic strip commentary. Hopefully it'll be better than Full House.

State of the Union, 11/13/09

This is, perhaps, one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. Now you've seen it to, and you can't unsee it. I'm not sorry.

Cow and Boy, 11/13/09

I know what's going on in the second panel here, but at the same point, I have no idea. It looks like Zac Efron (I'm guessing) riding a deer who is, in turn, riding an orca who has some sort of weapon. They all have weapons. And they're going to war. Should we be afraid?

Baldo, 11/13/09

Out of all those characters, the only ones I'd actually say are funny are Jason Fox and Lio. Broom Hilda is just terrible, Herb is mediocre to the point of putting people to sleep, Ziggy is Ziggy, and Hagar the Horrible exists in that weird half-life where his comic isn't good, but it's not as bad as some other ones. Oddly, Hagar is staring directly at the reader in a state of shock. Beware him.