Spectrum of Light

Is it just myself?

2013-03-04T19:44:00.001+00:00

Every so often I get the wonderful tingling in my fingertips when I know it's time to get something up onto here and just go with the flow. I hate trying to stick to making posts on here regularly like other people. When I feel like I have the creativity to type something that may grab the attention of people or just to get people thinking about the messages and purpose I have of using this website.

I'm not on here to create posts about fashion, make-up, or music. That's just not who I am and i find it extremely boring unless something has really grabbed my attention.
Right now I find it very hard to concentrate on one thing for a long time, hell, it will probably take me a while to do this even though I have a rough idea of what needs to be typed out.

Looking back at the start of 2013 I had such determination to do things and to push myself to improve my well-being. But due to a family death and that causing a landslide of other problems I'm now forcing myself to face, I know it will be a while till I get back that exact determination I had just a few months ago. My life is pretty much at a standstill with a lack of income and happiness.
But I know I'll get there, and that's what I love about my mind nowadays. I know things are rather dull at the moment, but I can always see that glimmer of hope that I keep fighting for.

I've learnt that mind over matter is just so crucial to me now. I would rather surround myself with the people I now call friends and the constant gluing and fixing on my mental health, than totally ignore it as I have done since last year as it poisons your mind and eventually you can just become that empty person just full of hate/confusion/sadness. I've chosen to fight that.

I know most the time my blog posts are never really that light hearted, but I'm just that one person who is trying to do good in the world and I find being open can not only help yourself, but so many other's alike.

Keep safe and loved x

Gone, Never Forgotten.

2013-02-07T16:47:00.000+00:00

So tomorrow on February 8th 2013 I will be saying good bye to my little sister's dad Tony.
For those who never got the chance to meet him, you really did miss out big time on meeting a computer and motorbike mad guy.
He first came into my life when I was 5 and obviously as him being my mum's partner I was confused as hell as to who this guy was. But I know that I instantly took a shining to him and quickly started to grow in admiration towards him.

From a young age Tony brought me up as his own. And I know he has always thought that he has 2 daughter's not one. For my sixth birthday all my family went up to Scotland for the week and my best memories from then are me sitting on Tony's shoulders while in a field surrounded by very angry and annoyed sheep and had a stick to keep them back and me away from harm.
We walked through a field of cows and I, as usual found a 'Pob stick' - Pob was Tony's friend, and I insisted on finding a good stick so I could hit Pob with it next time I saw him - and that was always our little thing we would do wherever we went.
He gave me my love for motor sports and indoor rock climbing which I used to do quite a lot when younger, again it was bonding time for us.
Because of Tony, I have my love for Nirvana, Queen, David Bowie and The Prodigy.

When my little sister Catherine was born, he seemed so happy to have such a wonderful little girl, and of course the first girl on his side of the family in quite a while. She is still today and probably forever always going to be his 'little spud' as he always used to call her.

When him and my mum separated, I turned very cold towards him, and only the past year I had found that natural love for him again. I really regret that, a lot.
But as the world is cruel, he died suddenly of a blood clot in his heart on Saturday 26th January. I don't want to write anything except that about his death because I want to respect my little sister and also Tony's family.

That Saturday my world really did fall apart, and I'm still not sure if i've even accepted that yet.

But my love goes out to my extended family on Tony's side.
But most of all to my special, brave and strong little sister, Catherine.

Don't ever take people or life for granted, it's just too short x

2 0 1 3; It's MY year.

2013-01-07T21:29:00.001+00:00

Bit of a late one, but, WELCOME TO 2013!
I hope that the celebrations of Christmas and New Year didn't leave you unsatisfied or not making any pointless New Year resolutions that are certainly made every year.

Looking back on 2012 I think I can say it had more downs than up's. Yet also, I was doing more things that I had wanted to do. My medication meant I was doing things with my family, going out, having lovely days away in Edinburgh and Isle of Skye.
Towards the end of the year my mental well being isn't where I had expected it to be and, so yet again I'm trying to do the things to make me happy, yet also I'm really taking Therapy seriously this year. So far after 2 sessions I'm opening up and admitting things to myself which i had locked away and infested my mind and happiness.

So last week I had made a promise to myself to go ahead with the impulses i've had over time.

Started with cutting my fringe a lot shorter. Again the little things can make an improvement on happiness and wellbeing.
Tomorrow I go to Chester to see Izzy yet also get my Septum pierced, which I have always wanted since I was 13/14 (sorry mum!)
Start going out with my camera when we have sun and just capturing beauty in it's moment.
Visit our local Kailish Buddhist Centre a few times a month.
Take Ant's dog out for a walk once or twice a week down to the beach.
Get a proper undercut
Get a job and remain stress free
Maintain a good weight and good health
Exercise a hell of a lot more than what i am at the moment.

I wonder if any of you guys have some new plans for the new year, to change yourself or your surroundings to be happier or more content?
Share your idea's and thoughts and peaceful and joyous 2013!

Gaining.

2012-12-16T21:10:00.001+00:00

I thought I'd create this post as I know people have approached me on how I gained weight and the mentality I put myself into. I spent months trying to find the right method for me so I think it would be helpful as not many websites are widely available for the recover process on gaining weight and the feelings that come along with it.

First of all I am in no way a medical professional, so if you are suffering from an Eating Disorder and/or underweight, then I suggest you go to your local GP and get the right care and help before anything else.

After starting my Therapy for my Eating Disorder I was given a list of changes I should make to my diet and also an eating plan so I had the right food groups. For every meal I had to have dairy, protein and carbohydrates, which to be honest I thought would be easy, but having to have 3 meals a day plus 4 snacks a day...i'd never been so shocked in my life.
I was told to change from semi-skimmed milk to full fat milk, yet to also fortify everything. Cheese on cheese, powdered milk in milk, those were the things i just could not push myself to do.
I was not allowed to have fruit as a snack, that would just be something i eat at any time during the day, yet also i couldn't really have crisps etc. Rice pudding, yoghurt's, biscuits, and oat bars started consuming my life as my snack because they were so high in calories and good fats.
There was no perfect journey for me, relapses, tears and arguments with my mother were constantly there.
After quite a bad relapse and going down near enough to my original weight, i decided to start looking at different shakes, as protein didn't do a single thing for me and just made me feel really ill.
One day myself and my mum went to the shops and looked down the health isle and we came across a make called Complan and they had a variety of powdered shakes and even soups. After discussing these with my doctor we had decided that i would start taking them with milk twice a day, with breakfast and with tea in hope of me gaining weight that i really needed to be put back on.

If anyone comes to ask me about gaining weight i ALWAYS recommend complan. The sheer fact it helped me, but also tasted damn good, really did do the trick for me and it helped me a lot during me recovery and to keep on gaining weight.

If you have read this and would like more information/advice or even just someone to talk to, contact me at emmavickers998@hotmail.com and i am always happy to answer questions in any shape or form.

A little thought

2012-12-12T22:34:00.001+00:00

I lie here with my bright twinkling lights wondering when I'll be taken away to me dream land. Yet the 5/6 hours I have slept during the day have seeming to of taken it's unappreciated toll on my mind and body.
Thoughts such as our constillations we see, how much I want a Clementine and also my possible future in Europe seemed to of settled in on my mind instead of counting those boring and stupid sheep we always get told about when trying to drift off.

My relationships and trust with the male form are really on a knife's edge this year. I've fallen in and out of love, been disowned by a parent and been cancelled on more than I even dare to recall.
Sure we women are never perfect, we have our sudden mood switches, the love of heels and bags and spend half of our life making ourselves feel better about our appearance. Yet men, how do I explain you from my experience?
All faith seems to of been destroyed in the past 5 months.
I hope one day I can get an apology from a few, but let's be honest, you never know you do something wrong unless we light it up in neon lights

Latex; Fetish or Fashion?

2012-11-20T15:36:00.000+00:00

Latex has been in our lives since the start of the 1900's. For Wellies, protective clothing and gas masks, yet if you bring it up in a conversation, you're bound to get some mighty strange looks.

Mention latex and fetish's, BDSM, and the video after video of pornography containing models head to toe - literally - will certainly come into people's minds straight away. Cat suits, wedding dresses, bikini's and stockings have been produced and are very easily available if you type into Google - with care - and so many different varieties of latex fashion sites display.

One reason why latex, and other tight shiny fabrics may be fetishised is perhaps that the garment forms a "second skin". Meaning, wearers of skin-tight latex or PVC garments may be perceived by someone as being naked, or simply coated in a shiny substance like paint. Latex and PVC can also be polished to be shiny and can also be produced in bright colours, adding further visual pleasures to add to the physical sensations produced by the material.

A while ago I had stumbled upon a video that showed the application of wearing latex, sounds cheap or nasty but it was so elegant and beautiful and I think from then the ever growing and popularising latex fashion had me captivated. After spending well over an hour on a friends wall I actually found the video that I had posted.

Atsuko Kudo is ultimate Haute Courture, who designs latex ladieswear which has different clothing/accessories and also latex designs such as lace and also have a collection of animal prints in store at the moment.

Lady Gaga is one of the main celebrities who has shown the public that latex doesn't have to be sexual or a fetish. You can feel empowered by the fact you can wear even just the smallest latex gloves with a killer dress and you'd ooze confidence. Many other celeb's have been photographed wearing Kudos' creations.

Pictured Above: Beyonce, Kate Moss, Dani Minogue, Lady Gaga.

For me, Latex is no longer just for the fetishes. It's for the confidence, the sexiness and the chance to wear something that will make you feel amazing.

Project Unbreakable; Standing Up

2012-11-18T21:32:00.003+00:00

October 2011, Grace Brown created Project Unbreakable. A supportive and strong way of helping survivors of Sexual Assault by photographing them holding a poster with a quote from them, the Assaulter or even friends and family.
After knowing people close to her who are victims and survivors, she sadly realised how common a tragedy Sexual Assault is, just still as Taboo subject as ever.
Statistics within the UK for Sexual Assault, and anywhere else are never 100% well known because only a minute fraction of survivors actually tell someone about it.

Approx 400,000 women every year have expreienced Sexual Assault and 80,000 women EVERY YEAR are raped.
85% of rapists are known to the victims.

No one deserves it. No, means NO.

But also to anyone who has been a victim, you are a survivor. Whether you report an incident or not, you should be proud of the strong person you are. And you should never feel guilty of being raped.
A boyfriend, a stranger, a family member, a best friend, they should never take advantage of you. If you are drunk, wearing revealing clothing, again I cannot stress how it is never our fault.

There are so many websites for help and advice
http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com/
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.php
http://www.womensaid.org.uk/
http://www.victimsupport.org.uk/Help%20for%20victims/Different%20types%20of%20crime/Rape%20sexual%20assault%20women

Top 5 places i want to visit

2012-11-18T20:43:00.001+00:00

♦ Canada
♦ France
♦ Italy
♦ Japan
♦ China

From Pork Dumplings to a Risotto dish, food is the key that entices and drags me towards these places. I have watched many food related programmes and realised that sure, the big, posh restaurants may have super modern surroundings and combinations of food that certainly can seem bizarre and out there. Yet, to really know a country or city, take a relaxing stroll around the tiny and hectic backstreet's, that's where the true and traditional meals are cooked. For these cafe's and restaurants, it's not about the money or the perfect wine to go with a silver service meal. It's the recipes that have been passed down through the generations with such secrecy that no one from the outside would ever know.
Then obviously we move onto the fact that these are certainly some of the most beautifully landscaped and picture perfect places you could ever have the chance to see. The man-made and busy structures of Eifel Tower, Vatican City, Tokyo hold these places to the modern society of life and keep the tourists coming back every single year. Less, we can never forget how beautiful the surrounding wilderness is and how dated and traditional some people and towns are.

One day I want to be able to say i've visited both sides to each country, the new and the old, the busy and the ghost towns. I want to be able to see all the pictures and write about each and every experience of my travels.

2012-11-02T17:21:00.003+00:00

I don't eat to live, I live to eat.

The grown up way

2012-11-02T16:21:00.001+00:00

I'm sure as a child growing up was something I wanted to do more than anything. I looked forward to having my dream job, finding my prince charming, having a pretty cottage and having a family.
You spend your childhood drawing dream houses, watching films with those happily ever after stories and being convinced that, that is how life is going to be when older.
Sorry to the younger me, but that really isn't reality. It's just dreams.

Sounds like I'm trying to say, ignore your dreams, it'll never happen. Do work for them. If you want to become a successful Scientist who finds a new organism or foreign plant that has the cure for Cancer or HIV, do that. Want to become an author? Write stories, document your life through photographs, videos. Take advantage of inspiration.

I'm doing nothing my younger self wanted to. I mean, having children by 24 and married by 26? Well that certainly terrifies the shit out of me with the fact I used to want to work towards that. As we grow older in today's world the passion of having a family young, lessens. Our generation is striving for success and to be the best of the best before we even think about settling down with families. We want to be stable and secure and not just take the 'see what happens' option. People replace children with pets, cheaper, don't need to pay for new clothes and they don't cry all the time. Bliss.

Maybe somewhere down the line we might start to regret this way of life? The whole, being content when you have a job and money and stability instead of just going for the impulse? Who knows.

you know it's real.

2012-09-04T17:18:00.000+01:00

i've really not had the chance to write a single post in the past 3 weeks. my life has consisted of sleeping and now working as an apprentice in Front of House at ABode Hotel in Chester.
I can't believe how lucky i am to have the chance on not only having an apprenticeship in Hospitality, but also within one of the most beautiful and amazing Hotels i have set foot in.
Even though ABode Chester is only nearing it's 3rd year it has built up such a recognition and is now 7th on Tripadvisor for hotels in Chester.

I felt immediately comfortable working with the people i do at reception. They look out for me and have had such patience and praise since i started working. My mum can tell a difference with my attitude and how confident i had just talking to complete strangers about things, it's something i've never had to do, and now i relish meeting new people all the time.
I'm sure i'll do my best to keep you all up to date on here as much as i can.

Interview with Antony Flemming

2012-07-04T15:46:00.002+01:00

I think everyone who reads my blog, follows my Tumblr or is friends with me on Facebook knows how much tattoo's mean to me and that I am a keen enthusiast for the amazing permanent art that people choose to have on their body.

Due to me having Tumblr for quite a while I have seen the rising recognition of Antony Flemming on there and I have also made a promise to myself that one day I will be tattooed by this amazing artist. Even my mum who is opinionated on tattoo's, thinks that the tattoo's he produces are certainly beautiful.
I know a few months ago I had said that I had asked him questions, and due to silly Tumblr we had problems swapping information, but here it is, my interview with the lovely and talented Antony Flemming!

Tell us a little about yourself and how you got interested in the business?

I am 22 and sadly enough have no other interests other than tattooing. That and having fun with my friends with the little time I have off.
I work in London at a place called World of Tattoos, It’s a great shop with an awesome local reputation and a bunch of lovely people that I am happy to say are some of my best friends.
I owe everything to this shop and my boss Glyn Foster.

How long have you been tattooing for?

I did my first ever tattoo in 2008 but didn’t complete my apprenticeship until October 2009. So, nearly 3 years now.

What did your family and friends think about you getting into the tattoo business?

My dad was fairly sceptical at first. When I was at school I got good grades especially in maths. I ended up with an A* and my dad, I think wanted me to go to uni to do maths. But I could not think of a more soul destroying career choice.
My mum is proud of me no matter what I do. I reckon even if I killed someone she would boast about how well I killed them...(obviously not condoning murder Antony!) So naturally she loves that I am doing fairly well for myself.

What is your favourite part of the job?

Speaking to a new person everyday, making people smile when they look in the mirror. Not having that feeling in the morning, you know, gah fuck, I gotta go to work… I have never felt that. I am always excited to go in and create cool tattoos.

Are there any tattooist, artists famous or not that have inspired your work?

Everyone I work with.

You do guest spots in different businesses, where has your favourite place been and where would you really like to have a guest spot?

To be honest I have only worked at Lab Money in Stirling, Scotland. It was such a great experience and the guys were lovely. I am about to guest at xXx in Lucerne, Switzerland and I am really looking forward to it as it is such an amazing shop with talented artists. I am guesting in Sydney and Melbourne at the end of the year, which obviously will be fun.
I would love to work at Conspiracy Inc. with Uncle Allan and Eckel. Maybe one day.

What would you say to a person wanting to get into the tattoo business?

It’s fucking hard work. It looks easy, but people forget we work more than any other industry, 12 hour days to then go home and draw for the next day. Make sure you love tattooing, and I mean actually love it otherwise find something else to do as a career

How young were you when you had your first tattoo and what was it?

I was 17 it was stars on my wrist…

What is the most original tattoo you've done and what is your most favourite?

This is such a difficult question, My mind changes all the time. But I really like my friend Rupert's chest. It’s a kingfisher.

The man himself doing what he does best.

The kingfisher tattoo.

One of my personal favourites.

Time lapse video of variety of tattoo's over 1 day.

The Amazing and Wonderful Jane Vickers a.k.a Mother Hen

2012-07-02T20:46:00.002+01:00

I think it's about time I dedicated a post to my Mum. For the past 19/20 years this woman has done anything and everything possible to make me happy. Sometimes when younger, like any other person growing up, I was a right horrid and argumentative person towards her. I never truly appreciated how well she had brought me up.

Until 3 years ago we were still arguing most days. We started becoming more alike and started not just becoming more mother and daughter, but also best friends. I know you hear child psychologists saying a Parent should be just that, but I have such an amazing close relationship with her and I could never be so thankful.
The past few years I've put her through hell and it's tested her patience more than anything in life. But she's still been the best parent ever. The past 2 weeks she's really helped to pull me through a dark time in my life and I don't think that even the words in this blog could come close to how much I respect, love, admire and adore her.

In the words of Mr Keating, Life is a Rollecoaster.

2012-06-17T23:34:00.001+01:00

Recovery is like an elimination process.

First and most important step is to accepting you have a mental illness. For me it was easy to accept that I had an Eating Disorder, it was harder when I was told I had Depression a year previous.
Then you need to actually make to decision to want to save your life and to make the biggest change of your life. This was actually the hardest thing i've ever had to do. I made out that I wanted to be better and wanted a healthy lifestyle, when deep down my illness was not letting me.

It always sounds bizarre as I refer to my Eating Disorder like it's a living thing. I refer it as a problematic disease that sometimes makes an infestation inside my head and just takes away my life. This really is a case after being diagnosed, it needs to feed on you to live. It does anything and everything to put up a fight and keep you in a downwards spiral to your ultimate death. After weighing myself i'd go into denial and be secretly mortified if i had gained weight then back to starving i would go, then try to pick myself back up for a week or two, to just waste it all again.
This had naturally been going on since i was 12/13 so it had become a routine of mine to lie, hide food, starve myself in order to get skinny.

After 3 months of Therapy and lots of tears from myself and my family, i had finally made the decision that i actually wanted to recover and this time i meant it deep down.
I spent months having panic attacks from eating food, having a completely different day of food intake and to altering my mind.

I was certainly a very negative person for most of my life, i thought all this determination was going to be a waste. Sometimes i was willing to accept my fate.

Eventually getting up to 7 and a half stone, i had started being able to wear less layers, be more active, being less dizzy, and most of all, gaining control of me being happy and to accept and love food.

After being in self exclusion for a year i started living my life again. Going out for meals with my family was the proudest moments in my life, and i cannot tell you how happy i was when not only my mother said she was proud of me, but her boyfriend, and my grandparents.

Sadly i haven't been doing aswell the past 3 weeks and i had lost half a stone, but after crying in the doctors afterwards, i am more committed than ever to gain my weight, and beyond.
I want to get to the point where i never have to have a blood test in fear of my organs being harmed. I want eating to be an automatic thing and not to be thought about.

Above all, i want to tell myself i am proud for giving myself the strength and determination to have my life back for the first time in a decade and to be like any other person my age.

Late Alert

2012-06-10T22:10:00.001+01:00

I really do not know how I'm managing to stay sane at the moment.

Due to a rubbish sleeping pattern - sleeping from 3/4am till 10am -

my mind has literally turned to jelly! So apologies if I repeat things over and over.

Basically I have some exciting news due to the brilliant Tattoo Artist Antony Flemming accepting my offer on interviewing him and then having permission to post it on here!

For someone who has loved his artwork and tattoo's for quite some time,

it's such a privileged to be interviewing such a young, yet well established and successful tattooist.

I also have another few things coming up on here such as an interview with a new clothing company and a review on their products and designs.

And a few more personal life things such as my evening meal out in Liverpool next week.

I'm going to be a bust busy bee next week so I shall try and fit all this in around my plans!

x

Take action

2012-06-05T23:21:00.001+01:00

Since being in recovery for the past 7 months I have always been a keen enthusiastic person on helping people who are both ashamed and open about their Eating Disorder. I have had many people confiding in me, even when their closest friends do not know of the problems they are battling with. This personal involvement with people has helping myself to recover as much as possible and eradicate my old unhealthy and dangerous thoughts and help and advise people in the process.

I've always been open about my struggles and recovery process, but I think it's time to address something that I never thankfully knew about....Pro-Ana/Mia websites/blogs.

"Pro-ana refers to the promotion of the eating disorder anorexia nervosa. It is often referred to simply as "ana" and is sometimes personified by anorexics as a girl named Ana. The lesser-used term pro-mia refers likewise to bulimia nervosa and is sometimes used interchangeably with pro-ana.
Pro-ana organizations differ widely in their stances. Most claim that they exist mainly as a non-judgmental environment for anorexics; a place to turn to, to discuss their illness, and to support those who choose to enter recovery. Others deny anorexia nervosa is a mental illness and claim instead that it is a "lifestyle choice" that should be respected by doctors and family" - Taken from Wikipedia.

I only really found out about these websites after being diagnosed 2 years ago and thankfully when curiosity got the best of me, I was absolutely horrified of what I was reading and the pictures that were being posted. For me, Tumblr is disgustingly full of these blogs and some actually contact people with Eating Disorder's and tell them that they look fat and other very harmful things that should never ever be said not only to a healthy person, but saying this to a person with an Eating Disorder can potentially cause their unhealthy illness to kill them.

1.6 million people within the UK alone suffer from Eating Disorders.
Eating Disorders have the highest mortality rate
Only 1 in 10 people receive treatment.
30% of sufferers have it long term 40% fully recover.

We have the highest rate for Eating Disorders in Europe if that isn't such a huge shock I don't know what is.
Recently, more well known people within the music/acting industry have became more open about suffering from Eating Disorders thus making people more aware of how many people actually struggle with it. Here are a few celeb's that have admitted to suffering from an ED.

Lady Gaga
Sharon Osbourne
Nicole Richie
Mary Kate Oslen
Felicity Huffman
Isabella Caro
Ana Carolina Reston
Lily Allen
Audrey Hepburn
and her late Princess Diana

Recently I came across Franca Sozzani who has spoken publicly about wanting to eradicate Pro Ana/Mia websites after coming across a few on Facebook. She has recently posted a speech for Harvard that can be found here, but also she crated a petition that we all should sign which is to battle for all Pro Ana/Mia or Thinspiration sites to be shut down and Vogue Italia is doing it's best to support this

"Fashion has been always blamed as one of the culprits of anorexia, and our commitment is the proof that fashion is ready to get on the frontline and struggle against the disorder."

I feel so strongly about this and have also emailed B-Eat about wanting to be a dedicated part of the team. It would mean a lot if you supported this and signed this petition so we can make a difference and possibly save people's lives.

"It is of paramount importance to explain teenage girls that being skinny does not equal being perfect and to promote beauty standards which start from and are all about being healthy."

For more information
http://www.disordered-eating.co.uk/
http://weighingthefacts.blogspot.co.uk/
http://www.b-eat.co.uk/
http://www.eating-disorders.org.uk/

Books glorious books.

2012-06-02T15:05:00.000+01:00

As everyone know's i'm an utter killer for a good read. This is the selection of books that I am reading at the moment.
The Saga of Darren Shan: Vampire Blood Trilogy;
Darren Shan is one of my favourite writer's and this Saga is just thrilling and i really do not know how many times I've read all the books now! I first read them in 2003 just out of chance of trying to find new books to read, and it really was and still is the best book i have bought. As the book says, it is about Vampire's, but also Vampaneze who are surprisingly 'bad vampire's', aka they kill to drink blood. It follows the life of a boy named Darren Shan in first person. From making the deal with the devil to save his best friend, to being killed by him. This is nothing like Stephanie's Twilight Saga, in fact I love it even more!
If you like thriller, action or fantasy I strongly recommend you read the amazing 12 books he's published as a part of this saga!

The Little Book of Buddhism. The Little Book of Wisdom;
I recently bought these on Amazon as I was recommended by a person who I follow on Tumblr. These are so handy to take round with me when I go anywhere. They contain wonderful quote's to keep positive and calm in difficult situations. Also give a lovely insight into the Spiritual religion that is Buddhism. If you want an easy read and something you can take with you everyday, then these are perfect pocket books.

The Tibetan Book of Living And Dying;
This is something i've borrowed off my Uncle as he said it's a good book to start reading if you have an interest in Buddhism like myself! He also gave me a tip about search for books on Buddhism, always get one from an Eastern writer as obviously Buddhism is practised most there. My uncle read this after dealing with a breakup while living in Australia for a year and said it's such an amazing read. Can't wait to sink my eyes into this

The Art of Happiness;
I think any book written by His Holiness Dalai Lama must be worth a good read. I bought this along with my 2 pocket books as it only came up to £12 overall which is amazing in my eyes! Due to having quite a shit start to this year, I'm wanting to know how to deal with my negativity in a healthy way and to not let things really harm myself. I think that's why I have this interest in Buddhism, as it is all about positive energy and that's something i'm learning to do slowly but surely these days!

Seeming I haven't started reading the last 2, I shall do individual reviews of them when they are done and dusted with.

Britain and it's Royal madness.

2012-06-02T14:00:00.001+01:00

Well if you live you in a cave and aren't aware of the next 4 days of celebrations, today is 60 years since Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II's Coronation. Which means she is the second longest reigning monarch behind Queen Victoria (63 years).

Along with a lot of people in Britain and also abroad, I absolutely love the Royal Family! They are adapting to the ever modernising and growing Britain, and not once have they given us a reason to doubt them. They always seem to bring us all together and be proud, especially at big celebrations such as William and Katherine's absolutely beautiful wedding at Westminster Abbey in 2011.

If you don't know much about Her Majesty, I suggest you read on as I have found just a few facts about her past 60 years of being our Queen.

Over the reign, Her Majesty has given regular audiences to 12 Prime Ministers. They are:
•   Winston Churchill 1951-55
•   Sir Anthony Eden 1955-57
•   Harold Macmillan 1957-63
•   Sir Alec Douglas-Home 1963-64
•   Harold Wilson 1964-70 and 1974-76
•   Edward Heath 1970-74
•   James Callaghan 1976-79
•   Margaret Thatcher 1979-90
•   John Major 1990-97
•   Tony Blair 1997-2007
•   Gordon Brown 2007-2010
•   David Cameron 2010 - present

The Queen is currently patron of over 600 charities and organisations, over 400 of which she has held since 1952.

Since 1952, The Queen has conferred over 404,500 honours and awards.

The Queen has sent almost 540,000 telegrams to couples in the UK and the Commonwealth celebrating their diamond wedding (60 years) anniversary. Of which my great Grandparent's received one!

The first 'Royal walkabout' took place during the visit by The Queen and The Duke of Edinburgh to Australia and New Zealand in 1970. The practice was introduced to allow them to meet as many people as possible, not simply officials and dignitaries.

As many other people next week I shall be out in the street having a party with my nearest and dearest and other neighbour's and will hopefully upload a lot of pictures when I am back that day! I always get really excited when celebrating a Royal event as it really does bring the public together, and 10 years ago was an amazing Jubilee party where I live, and i'm hoping that this year's will be even better than that!

Rachelle Pugh - The gal with the determination and experience

2012-05-17T15:38:00.001+01:00

Rachelle Pugh

Nineteen
Wrexham

What are you doing with your life at the moment?

I’m currently at the University of Manchester studying English Literature, Drama and Film. I have tons of upcoming deadlines so my life at the moment is being spent procrastinating; the thing I do best! I’ve just finished putting on an event for the Mines Advisory Group (http://www.maginternational.org/musicbeatsmines) and raised over £200 for the charity. It’s a pretty good feeling.
Has an interest in Events always been there?
I wouldn’t say that an interest for planning events has always been there, but an interest for events themselves has definitely always been there. It’s really since I started DJ’ing at gig nights in Wrexham that my passion for the planning that goes into events has really developed. I think it’s really important that young people especially are given opportunities to experience music other than the commercial rubbish often shoved into their faces. Unsigned bands and more unique music can often be much cheaper than the ridiculous £60 ‘pop star’ tickets, and provide the same, if not more entertainment and energy. I think its also really important to support local bands and enable them to present the stuff they’ve worked so hard on to a willing audience. The people closest to home are often the most important I think.

What have you contributed into an Event before?

As I’ve mentioned, I started DJ’ing for DDJY! and ROPE clubnights in Wrexham at the age of 17, and since I’ve gone to uni I’ve been given quite a few opportunities to plan and put on my own events. There’s a lot that goes into an event. For example, the event which I put on for Oxfam Originals last night was a gig night, with a mini fashion show incorporated to try and promote the shop’s unique vintage pieces and make a profit for the charity. I had to book a venue, do a risk assessment of the venue, book bands and DJ’s (trying to find a date that all bands can do is a nightmare!), email the charity and keep them up to date with things, create promotion posters and flyers, create social networking pages for the event, promote the event around Manchester and online, pick out clothes and organize models for the fashion show, sort out money and financial safekeeping, creating realistic set times for the line up…and that’s just before the night! On the night there was setting up the bands, setting up the DJ stuff, setting up the fashion show and voicing it, photography, selling tickets on the door and ensuring that the venue was decorated in a way to raise awareness of the charity. That’s a pretty hefty list even by my standards, but that much work and more is required. Organizing a group to get all of this done is always handy, but equally as stressful at times!
What brings out the most excitement for you in event planning?
It has to be the buzz of the event at the end, and knowing that it has pleased other people. Because I’ve done a few charity events, the money raised is also a pretty exciting factor. An example would be the music event I put on in collaboration with Oxfam Originals last year; the money raised went to buying food, education, fertiliser and increasing well-being for communities in Africa. That was a pretty nice feeling.

What do your family and friends think of your career choice?

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer, but that’s a story for a different day. My aunty’s pretty supportive of the idea though (as an artist she loves the creative side) and my boyfriend is always really supportive of me; he’s been amazing in encouraging me to go for what I want.
Celebrity and personally, who have you always thought of as a role model and why?

Hmm, role models, that’s an interesting one! Personally, in regards to event planning it would have to be Ross Roberts; the creator of DDJY! and ROPE club nights. He helped me to start DJ’ing at gigs, and gave me the confidence in myself to do so, and organize other events. My home town of Wrexham is a pretty dull place, but Ross’ injection of fantastic bands that many of us would not have had the chance to see at a younger age has really inspired myself and others to explore music. He has also given many local bands a stage to shine on; something which Wrexham might not have been able to offer had it not been for Ross.

I’ve never really seen a celebrity as an actual role model, because I just find that a lot of the time, their lives are completely different to my own and it is more important to have belief in somebody you know has done something outstanding. However, Siouxsie Sioux has always been somebody who I have the utmost respect for. Everything about her is wonderful, from her rise to popularity to the lyrics in her music. She was a determined woman and made success for herself as an empowered, intelligent female. I guess that’s something all females should aspire to whatever they do. I’m no feminist by the way!

What genre of music to you listen to? Favourite Artists?

I’m pretty picky with my music, but I actually like a rather mixed bag! Anyone who knows me will know that my favourite artist is Siouxsie Sioux; I cannot get enough of her individual sound. Her voice is so powerful, it sounds silly but her music has really helped me to deal with a lot of stuff in the past; my respect for that woman is colossal, and I’m really excited for the new stuff she’s working on. Genre wise I love Post-punk (particularly that of female bands such as The Slits and The Raincoats), electro, post- dubstep, industrial and no-wave (Lydia Lunch is also a big favourite of mine!). I could go on for days, but I don’t want to bore the readers!

What would be your advice to people wanting to be involved within the Events business?
Volunteering for stuff is definitely a good option. I was lucky with getting into DJ’ing because the guys who organise the nights saw my Myspace (you can tell this was a while ago!) and liked my taste. I was really worried at first because I’m not the most confident person in the world, but honestly, just get up there and do it. If you’re organizing an event there’s no room for being scared of ringing people and organizing face to face meetings. You can’t rely on email and it’s a good idea to just jump in at the deep end to start with because it can only go uphill from there! It’s fabulous for confidence building and the outcome is always worth it in the end.

Do you have anything upcoming that you're helping with?

I’ve recently been asked to work for Parkinson’s UK as an event planner. I’m really psyched about this because it has a personal place in my heart as well as being a fantastic opportunity. My gran has the illness so it’d be really good to organize an event from the heart, and hopefully inject some good events into the area whilst raising awareness of the illness amongst the younger generation; often people do not know much about it.

Review; A Piece of Cake: A Memoir by Cupcake Brown

2012-05-01T22:19:00.000+01:00

I was raised to read as many different genre books as I could. I always love to read fantasy, horror and especially memoirs.
A Piece of Cake was actually recommended to me by a friend when I was wanting to get rid of a Waterstone's voucher that I had kept for a while. Just the look of it caught my eye, I ordered it not knowing what it was about or how dark it really was going to be.
Of course this wasn't my first memoir book.

I had first read A Child Called 'It' when I was quite young, and for anyone who hasn't read it, I suggest you go to a library and rent it or just buy it because it's brutal and sickening, but at the same time, it's a book you find hard to put down.

Anyway back to A Piece of Cake. The book is about the author Cupcake Brown, starting from the age of 11 after the death of her mother, things sadly took a deep spiralling into a dark and adult work. She was living in a foster home where she was neglected and sexually abused resulting in a strong desire and appetite for alcohol and drugs fed by hustling.
After becoming a gangster when taken in by distant relatives her rapid decent into an addiction of crack cocaine ended up saving her from her death.

I have read this quite a few times, and every single time I just cannot believe that Cupcake Brown is alive and now working in one of America's largest law firms.

An inspiration and warning to people reading it.

Bex Knight - Blogger and Aspiring PR for the highstreet

2012-04-30T12:46:00.000+01:00

Rebecca Knight
Eighteen
York/Gloucester

1) Favourite high street shop at the moment and why?

It would have to be Zara and H&M. Zara because most of what they seem to be producing really fits around the classic style I'm starting to evolve into, and I'm a massive admirer of their business techniques and plans - they're going to become very big soon. H&M because they're always bang on trend and their eco-range is something I feel all highstreet shops should be taking note of.

2) Who are your idols and why? Fashion industry or not?

Within the fashion industry, it would have to be the Olsen twins. They're so young, yet have achieved so much. Everything they have, is there's. They're their own boss and they know what they want and how to get it. I love strong women, and those two are just the epitome of strong women!
Outside the fashion industry it would have to be my Dad. Without going all soppy, simply put, he taught me that hard work, passion, and politeness, can get you absolutely anywhere you want to go.

3) What are your wardrobe key pieces?
Classic white shirt, dark skinny jeans, a leather skirt, loafers, wedges, a leather jacket, an opaque blouse, and of course a white dress!

4) If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?

Italy. I love the food, the culture, the fashion, the atmosphere. Just everything! I can't explain it!

5) What would you say is your biggest weakness(s)?

I wouldn't say setting high goals is a bad thing, it's a good thing, of course it is, but I will beat myself up about it if I don't quite make it!

6)What does a fashion PR do?

Basically, they help companies and stores develop and keep a good public image, you have to find innovative ways to keep the brand name out there.

7)What gets you most excited for your future career prospects?

Everything. I am so ready, and so beyond excited to jump into every aspect of what I want to do. I know it will be hard work, they'll be many set backs, and it's not going to be easy, but I can't wait!

8)I understand you're possibly going to University in September, where and what will you study?

I'm actually taking a year out before I go to university. I've been at boarding school since the age of 9, as my Dad's in the Army so I want to take a year to work, and spend time with the people who mean the most to me. I'll then be going to Nottingham to study Fashion Communication and Promotion.

9)What is a favourite or inspirational quote of yours?

Oh God, I'm a massive fan of inspiration quotes. Yep, I'm that kind of girl.

"You can never be overdressed or over educated"

"Be your beautiful self"

"Nolite te bastardes carborundorum"

"Be true to who you are"

"Be so good they can't ignore you"

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
― Albert Einstien

4 Interviews, 1 Week

2012-04-28T21:04:00.000+01:00

Starting from Monday I'm having 4 interviews with young, aspiring and amazing people who are making the most of their passions.
Monday - Bex Knight
Wednesday - Shannon Rose Priestley
Friday - Rachelle Pugh
Sunday - Alek Lewin.

Cinnamon Sugar Pull-Apart Bread as promised

2012-04-28T19:21:00.000+01:00

Posting these posts that I make, or even finishing them seems to be so daunting for me as I know that personally, I can do so much better and always get worried I'll be criticised for not have one theme that I stick to on here, let's be honest I go from one thing to another, but that reflects my mind and my situation in life.

As I said on Wednesday, I did eventually make my Cinnamon Sugar Bread yesterday and I can say I'm proud for making it for the first time and getting it near enough perfect bar a few things I can perfect on next time. As for the process I found it annoying at first due to me using an American measurement - using cups instead of grams - I suppose if you were brought up to do that, it's just simple and easy. I mean we own no cups in this house, just mugs which could hold today's cruise ships! The taking of the measurements is just the start, you have to have nearly everything separate and it did not help at all that you are meant to have live yeast and we only had dried yeast so that added more liquids to the mixture than was needed so having to put more flour in resulted in the baked result in being a little heavy.

I really loved the sugar mixture what was needed. Caster sugar, Cinnamon and some ground Nutmeg. It smelt so lovely and did have to have a sneaky try after I had mixed it.

I think this picture sums up how utterly messy it really was making this bread! This was nearly 2 hours after the start of making the cake. Had to let it rise for an hour, then knead a bit of flour into it, then let it rest for another 20 mins, then finally knead, roll it then slice it up, put melted butter onto it then go crazy with the sugar! I still actually have half a bowl left, I've just put it into a storage jar so I can include it into fairy cakes or something like that!

After leaving the dough to rise for another half an hour, it was time to stick it in the oven, hoover up the sugar on the work surface, and yes I really did hoover up that sugar!
This was the amazing result when I took it out of the oven! I had a slice after tea and oh my word, I was so so proud of making this and it tasting wonderful! Because all the sugar had melted, it had soaked through the dough and turned into a syrup round the bottom, it was stupidly nice! And I would certainly recommend it with a lovely mug of Chai Tea to enhance the cinnamon and nutmeg.

For my next post tomorrow, I have something rather wonderful planned!
x

anything is possible

2012-04-25T22:17:00.001+01:00

I've had a really big 'writer's block' for blogging on here and i apologise for the people who regularly read this.

I tend to wallow in self pity and think that everything is shit until someone - most the times it's my mum - tells me it straight and to get off my arse and start doing things that make me happy again. This mostly includes finding new music, reading and baking which i will be doing and then blogging about tomorrow.

Cinnamon Sugar Pull-Apart bread which i came across here is going to be a first try for me as i love making bread and also anything different to my usual cakes. And also my mum has been on my back about making this since i first sent her the link to the recipe.
I also want to make some vanilla cheesecake and a few custard based desserts because i want to push myself out beyond my cakes if i want to be owning my own café in the future.

So, i'll be posting pictures of my process on here tomorrow as i know Bex is very interested in my baking and i know that me and her are eventually going to be having a interview in the future!

For now, i'm going to get back to chatting on skype, have a cigarette, crisps and look at some new artists to listen to as i'm always updating my music taste.

2012-04-07T00:34:00.001+01:00

Well spring is truly in full swing. Hot days turn into days of raining, but i've always loved the rain in spring it has the fresh smell and it's just so relaxing.
I really apologise for not blogging in the past few weeks i've hardly had time to myself which is very good for me at the moment!
It's such a late night blog post for me but i want to just let you all know i'm still alive and kicking!
Tomorrow i also plan on doing a video update for my recovery as i know people on here, Tumblr and also Youtube are curious as to how i am doing. Let me just say that so far i am very very proud of myself for getting myself to where i am now and i shall include all the info in tomorrow's video!
For now i'm off to try and get some shut eye.

x