The Daily Mind - Making the Daily Grind Meaningful

Floods Worse than Haiti and the Boxing Day Tsunami Combined

The Daily Minder — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 00:46:48 +0000

image:allvoices.com

The floods that are happening right now in Pakistan are devastating. The Secretary General of the UN said that they are a worse disaster than the Haiti earthquake and the Boxing Day Tsunami put together. And the sad thing? No one is donating.

Why is no one donating?

Government’s often only donate when they hear about massive loss of life. The death toll in the floods has not been as high as the Haiti earthquake but there are now 20 million people left homeless and without work or food. In the coming weeks and months this is going to become a very serious problem as disease spread and they plunge into winter.

One political commentator remarked that Americans don’t want to donate to Pakistanis because they think they are terrorists. I deeply hope this is not true as we are talking about regular citizens here. In fact, the horrible people involved with extremist terror groups have told the Government not to accept foreign aid – they would rather see citizens of their own country die.

Literally save a life today

I am asking all of my friends here at The Daily Mind to donate to the Red Cross Pakistan Appeal today. Something that I would like you to very carefully think about is the fact that a donation of as little as a $20 bill can save a life in this situation. The Red Cross work directly in the country during these times and your donation will go towards food, medicine and helping families find shelter.

They literally have nothing left. Please donate something right now, even if it means we don’t get to go out on Friday night this week. It is too important.

Random Posts

Eating Animals: Is It Time We Evolved?

The Daily Minder — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 02:51:47 +0000

photo credit: robert.molinarius

“We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err.”
- Henry Beston

Is it time to stop eating animals? Is meat really necessary in a world where so many other options exist? Is the practice of eating meat something that is outdated, old fashioned and perhaps a little bit primitive? In this post I want to share some thoughts I have been having lately about eating meat and whether or not it is time we evolved.

A new angle to look at

The quote at the start of this post is from a book called The Outermost House by Henry Beston. Henry was a nature writer who produced this masterpiece while living in solitude on Cape Cod. There on the windy beach he found a new appreciation for the natural world and, in my opinion, wrote one of the most inspiring and opinion-shifting passages about our relationship with animals. Here is the full quote:

We need another and a wiser and perhaps a more mystical concept of animals. Remote from universal nature, and living by complicated artifice, man in civilization surveys the creature through the glass of his knowledge and sees thereby a feather magnified and the whole image in distortion. We patronize them for their incompleteness, for their tragic fate of having taken form so far below ourselves. And therein we err, and greatly err. For the animal shall not be measured by man. In a world older and more complete than ours they move finished and complete, gifted with extensions of the senses we have lost or never attained, living by voices we shall never hear. They are not brethren, they are not underlings; they are other nations, caught with ourselves in the net of life and time, fellow prisoners of the splendour and travail of the earth.

What I love about this quote is that it very subtly challenges our ideas about animals by arguing that they are not below us but are in fact other nationalities existing within our own. This concept is an interesting one because it brings up new ideas about eating meat. The documentary Earthlings explains this further by asking us why we consider racism and sexism to be negative traits but species-ism to be perfectly okay. On a logical front it doesn’t seem to make sense because discrimination against animals has the exact same patterns, motives and behaviors as the characteristics that we, as a society, most abhor.

Is it time we evolved?

photo credit: Michael W. May

The world “evolve” keeps coming in to my mind when I think about eating meat because it seems as though the more reading I do about meat the less I feel drawn to it. As you probably know by now I am an aspiring vegetarian. I still eat meat once a week but for the most part I avoid it. Inwardly it feels as if I am evolving a little bit from who I used to be – an overweight meat lover who stayed comfortable in the thought that the killing was out of sight and out of mind. But in a world where we are now all so conscious about global warming, disease and ethics I feel as though meat eating just doesn’t fit anymore. Some questions I have been asking myself lately:

Is it healthy?
After reading a few studies about the fact that vegetarians live longer and are less likely to develop cancer or heart disease I started to wonder whether meat was as healthy as we had always been told. Sure, meat has proteins and lots of vitamins but so do the variety of fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and other foods that are available. And these don’t seem to come with the health consequences.
Is it ethical?
Growing up I was always told that killing animals, hurting things, etc. were unacceptable but the idea of meat eating was never challenged. This is probably because my parents wanted me to have meat while I was growing and developing but now that I am on my own I wonder whether it is time to challenge the status quo. I would never kill an animal so why do I consider it okay to have someone else do it for me?
Is it logical to ignore an animal’s suffering?
I have a cat and a dog and I love them like children. They have mood swings, get happy when I come home and cry out when they get hurt. I do not believe that their emotional responses are as developed as a human being’s is but I am 100% certain that they posses them. They are not like plants or rocks. They have a very active and emotional brain. And, from what I have been told, pigs are a lot smarter than dogs. They run away when they see the knife coming. So how can I justify eating pork and bacon when it comes from an animal that thinks and feels with greater capacity than my cat and dog?
Is it socially responsible?
Scientists have stated that the meat industry does more damage to the environment than any other industry or problem. Cattle emit enormous amounts of methane gas, they have to be fed and fattened up and that food needs to be grown and manufactured. Then we slaughter the cow and refrigerate it, truck it around the country or fly it overseas. The sheer amount of energy and pollution that goes into making one steak is staggering. And in a world where hunger and food prices are becoming a serious problem (never mind the global warming) it seems as though meat has become socially irresponsible.

These are the thoughts I have been having lately about meat eating. I am going to try and reduce the amount of meat I eat because I feel like it is something that I need to be doing. I do like the taste of meat and I understand why we eat it. But, it feels like it is time to perhaps move on.

What do you think?

What are your thoughts on the idea of evolving away from eating meat? Do you think it is something that has potential or do you think that meat should always be a part of our society and culture? If you can’t stand the idea of giving up meat, even though you might concede there are downfalls, why do you think that is? I would be really interested to hear all of your ideas on this topic as it is something that I have been quite interested in for a while now.

Random Posts

Why Your Stress Might be Killing You

The Daily Minder — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 05:44:42 +0000

photo credit: Christina Spicuzza

“Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness” – Richard Carlson

A few years ago I went through a rough patch that left me feeling constantly stressed. During that time I started to also see some physical manifestations of that emotional turmoil. One day I went to my doctor and he told me that I needed to do something about it or I could wind up doing some serious damage. It hit me like a tonne of bricks – up until that point it had never occurred to me that stress might be damaging my health in the long term.

In this post I want to talk about why your stress levels might be killing you. The more I read about the matter the more I am coming to understand that there are a lot of people out there doing themselves some harm.

The scary links between stress and health problems

My younger brother is studying medicine and as such we often have talks about the link between body and mind. Long gone are the days when the medical world viewed them as two separate things; the current consensus is that what goes on the body is strongly related to the mind. You can look to your own life as an example. Try and remember the last headache you got; I am betting it had something to do with a work or family argument. What about the last time you couldn’t sleep? Was that stress related too? These are prime examples of the body following the mind’s lead.

Its called psychoneuroimmunology and it is the study of the interaction between psychological processes and the nervous and immune systems of the human body. There have been countless studies showing that stress can:

lead to an increased chance of weight problems
cause poor sleep which can lead to other health issues
have an impact on your heart’s health
impact your immune response
etc

These (and the ones not mentioned) are pretty serious and, over time, can do serious damage to your body. It is extremely important for our health that we understand how stress affects us and learn a few things to get it under control.

The necessary trip

photo credit: deep_schismic

If you think that you might be having problems with stress it is vitally important that you go and see your doctor. This is something that I put off for a long time for fear of coming across too sensitive and dramatic. The truth was, however, if I waited much longer I may have winded up doing some permanent damage.

The amazing thing was that I felt almost instantly better after seeing my doctor. It was a combination of knowing I was doing something to help myself get better and just talking to someone who knew how to help. Sometimes talking to friends and family is extremely helpful, but sometimes it is not. I’m sure we all have those mates who just tell us to “man up” or “keep busy until it goes away”. Sometimes these help, sometimes they harm.

Book a time to see your doctor, especially if you have been having bad sleep, noticed changes in your weight or have been having any other unusual symptoms that you think might be related to your stress.

How to deal with stress in the short term

There are a few little things that you can do in the short term in order to help combat the effects of stress. These things may or may not work for you, they are just some things that I find to be quite helpful on a stressful day at work or home. Remember, an underlying stress condition can seriously impact your long term health and as such it is very important to talk to a professional.

1. Run, run, run
Exercise is a tried and tested method for reducing stress and helping your body recovery from a bad day. Why? Because, as we all know, the body releases a chemical called endorphins which leaves you feeling. Although I can’t find any medical proof for it (any doctors out there?) I once read that the stress hormone is designed to prepare you for a primal “fight or flight” situation which is then perfectly burned off by running. It is almost as if the stress is preparing you for a good jog!

Running also has the dual effect of getting you outside into the open and getting some sunlight. Sunlight is necessary for the production of Vitamin D which is involved in keeping you happy as well as immune healthy. Some studies also suggest that it may help prevent cancer.

2. Eat less meat
There are numerous studies that point to the fact that eating a healthy vegetarian diet can lead to a longer life expectancy and better heart health. There is also some evidence to suggest that you are less likely to get cancer. Now I am not a total vegetarian, I eat meat about twice a week. But since cutting back from daily meat intake I have noticed better energy levels and a much happier feeling. It might not work for you but I would never go back to a meat based diet.

3. Read from the experts
There is so much knowledge to be found in books. All the problems that we are having now have been had and thought about by smart people for thousands of years. Aristotle, Buddha, Plato, Descartes, the Dalai Lama, etc. – all of these people’s thoughts and ideas are written down. And they help. They have practical meaning for our lives today. If you are having problems with stress you might just find a solution or two by reading a book and then applying the ideas to your situation. Family, work, disease… all of these problems have been tackled before.

Conclusion

The opening quote is something that I found to be quite striking. Everyone is stressed but hardly anyone thinks that it is a real problem. But as my doctor showed me and as the studies continue to show us, stress can have a serious impact on your health, well being and longevity. I hope that this short post might serve as a starting point for you to tackle your stress levels. At the very minimum I hope we all go for a jog tonight!

Random Posts

17 Ways to Wake Up Feeling Fresh in the Morning

Charlie — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 03:39:21 +0000

Okay so we know that waking up and doing things in the morning is the best way to achieve our goals in life. We can exercise, study, work, meditate, etc. much better than other times in the day. However, most of us feel pretty crap in the morning.

So what can we do about it? How can we wake up ready for work?

Update: You might want to check out this post that has advice from a Buddhist Yogi about waking up early.

Ways to wake up feeling fresh in the morning

Here are some things you can do in the short term and the long term so that you will wake up fresh and energetic in the morning. I’ve divided them up into three sections; (1) the night before and (2) during the night and (3) the morning.

The Night Before

1. Avoid coffee, red wine and chocolate the night before
To wake up fresh you need to get a good sleep and one of the best ways to ruin a good sleep is to upset your gut. You really need to keep it happy during the night.

Coffee, red wine and chocolate have been scientifically shown to disturb your sleep more than any other food. They upset your intestines in such a way that you will wake up constantly or have a very light sleep that doesn’t re charge you at all. Try not to have these things after lunch time.

2. Go to bed happy with your partner
One of the best ways to get a terrible sleep is to go to bed before you solve a problem with your partner. In my relationship I never let the sun set on an argument, even if I have to compromise a little bit on my own ego.

Before you go to bed make sure your partner is happy (as much as you can) and make sure that you are happy with them. It is also one of the best things you can do for your relationship, let alone your sleep.

3. Meditate, pray and calm down before going to bed
Every night before I go to bed I do about 30 minutes to an hour of meditation. This is amazing as it allows you to throw out all the days worries and forget about the worries of tomorrow. The future cannot be changed while you are asleep and the past is gone so there is no point losing sleep over it! Let it go.

Meditate or pray or do whatever you do. Simply sitting there and watching your breath is a great way to prepare yourself for a nice deep sleep. Check out this post if you want to learn to do a quick little stress relieving meditation.

4. Don’t eat dinner right before bed
A lot of people run home after work, cook up some dinner and then eat it and go to bed. This is a bad idea. The process of digestion takes a while and you do not want to be laying down right after you ate a big meal. Try and leave a few hours in between your bedtime and your dinner and see how you feel the next day.

5. Organize your room according to Feng Shui principles
I know a lot of you probably think that Feng Shui is a load of bull but just give me a second to convince you that it actually has some “western logic” behind it.

For those of you who don’t know Feng Shui is an ancient Chinese art of setting up your home in a way that balances the energies and vibes by putting furniture in certain “hot spots”.

The bedroom is particularly important and I have found that since I arranged my room according to Feng Shui principles I have had a much more “rested” sleep. In particular the placement of your bed is important. Feng Shui tells us that you should sleep where you can see the door but not be in he direct path of the door opening. This helps us sleep with a sense of security. I can see the practical reason for this. You can get some more bedroom Feng Shui tips here.

6. Go to the toilet
Even if you do not need to go to the toilet before bed you should still have a go and squeeze out whatever you can. The reason for this is that the kidneys will continue to work during the night and by the morning your bladder will be nice and full. If your bladder fills up early you might feel the need to go during the night and this cuts out valuable time from your sleep.

You might think that sleeping is about the total time spent asleep but this is incorrect. It is important to stay asleep without breaking it because it takes some hours to get into the “zone” where you are truly at rest. A toilet break interrupts this zone.

During the Night

7. Not too hot, not too cold
Another sleep related tip: your sleep is greatly affected by the how hot or cold you are during the night. It is important to get a good balance as this keep your energies calm and stops them from spiking.

Try and find a balance between clothes and bed covers. For example, I like to sleep without any clothes but with a heavy blanket. This keeps my temperature pretty consistent.

8. Keep the window open
One of the best things you can do for your health in general and your sleep in specific is to keep your window slightly open during the night. This has two benefits.

photo credit: volvidejapon

Firstly, the gap in the window will allow poisonous carbon dioxide to float away. The reason the human body breathes out is because carbon dioxide is poisonous. And during the night you take a heck of a lot of breaths and your room fills up with this gas. Let it out the window.

The second reason is that you need to allow new oxygen to float in. This might also help you regulate the temperature of the room.

9. Keep your sleep consistent
People think that you MUST have eight hours sleep to get enough.

Not true.

It is more important to go to bed at the same time and wake up at the same time everyday. Not everyone needs eight hours. In fact, if I get eight hours sleep I usually feel tired and groggy for the entire day. Six to seven hours is about right for me.

Start by setting your bedtime at the same time each night. Forget what is on the television and just go to bed at say 11pm each night. After a while start setting your alarm for the same time each day; even on weekends. If you don’t start waking up fresher and happier each morning I will write you a personal apology.

10. Cut out noise, it’s actually killing you!
I recently read in New Scientist Magazine that your life is actually being shortened by noise during the night. Yep, that’s right… that screaming police car or roaring traffic is actually killing you! The magazine said that the noise has an effect on your heart and waking up many times during the night puts your body under a lot of stress.

Try and keep your room quiet by wearing some earplugs. You can get earplugs that only cancel out certain sounds so that you can still hear your alarm or a baby monitor on your bedside table.

The Morning

11. Drink a glass of water
A cool glass of water on an empty stomach actually has a lot of health benefits as well as serving to wake you up. The water will kick start your metabolism and as such you will wake up faster and feel more alert.

12. Exercise
When you are groggy in the morning and nice run in the fresh air can wake you up fast. However, the interesting thing is that when you exercise in the morning you will actually have more energy the NEXT day. The more you exercise the more energy you will have as you become fitter and healthier.

If you need some tips to get up and exercise early check out this post on early morning exercise hacks.

13. Don’t drink coffee… everyday
Science is now showing that our body becomes accustomed to the caffeine in our coffee and we have less of a reaction to it. This means that your daily cup of coffee is waking you up less and less every day that you drink it.

A better idea is to save the morning coffee for when you are really tired and need a little bit of help. Perhaps if you had to stay out late or get up extra early and you have disturbed your regular sleeping habit. This is the time to have a cup of coffee.

14. Breathe deeply
The first thing you should do in the morning is take some deep breaths into your stomach and concentrate on waking up. Imagine breathing in a bright white light that makes your body feel happy and light.

15. Have something to be excited about
If you get up and go to a job you hate to work with a boss that drives you crazy you are not going to really enjoy waking up. However, if you have something you enjoy to go to you will be more likely to wake up happy knowing you have a bit of joy coming your way.

If you can’t leave your terrible boss then you should make time in the morning to do some sport or activity that makes you happy. Start your day with something happy and fun as opposed to starting it with work.

16. Get up straight away
When I was in the Himalayas a buddhist master told me that one of the best things you can do to wake up early and feel alert and fresh is to get up straight away. As soon as your alarm goes off you should get up without snoozing it over and over again.

He said to me half jokingly: “You have to get up before your self cherishing does”.

17. Be grateful for not dying
The Buddha said that every time you go to bed you should consider that you won’t wake up. That way, when you wake up you will be especially grateful for the day you have ahead of you. Instead of seeing the day as a burden that you have to “get through” you will see it as an opportunity to do something meaningful and beneficial.

Why? Because you could die tonight.

When applied correctly this realization will bring you tremendous energy.

Conclusion on waking up freshly

Each of these tips works. I have tried it on myself and my friends. And the great thing is that the more of these tips you apply the fresher you will feel when you wake up. Try them yourself.

Do you have any other to add? I’d love to hear them!

Top photo: photo eyeliam

**Top 10 Daily Mind post.**

Random Posts

7 Things Star Wars Can Teach You About Life and Politics

The Daily Minder — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 14:28:47 +0000

I was watching Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith last night and was amazed at the depth of wisdom and good advice that comes out of some of those characters. Yoda is like an old Buddhist master, Obi-Wan Kenobi is like an experience Samurai warrior and so on. There is also a lot of political pundit banter that goes on between the Council and the Dark Side. Inspired by this re-run I went through some of the old movies and found some of the best quotes and lessons that can teach us a thing or two about life and politics.

Star Wars’ Lessons on Life and Politics

“Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view.” Obi-Wan Kenobi

One of the best quotes that ever came out of a Star Wars movie was when Obi-Wan said that our truths depend on our point of view. This is something that my buddhist teachers in India are always telling us – don’t be so solid, stiff and rigid. Your truth is not the next person’s truth. Truth is not always truth.

A logical proof that truth is not solidly existing is the example of water. To you and me a glass of water is something to drink. To a fish, however, it is like air. To some creatures it might be like fire. The “truth” we cling to is not a truth that is the same for everyone.

The reason I like this quote so much is because many of the wars and horrible acts that occur on Earth are because people cling to their own solid ideas of truth. You see it in religion, race divisions, political party alliance, etc. If people took time to break down the dogmas that they had been fed they would soon see that truth is not truth for everyone and this would bring people much closer together.

Bravo Obi-Wan!

“Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Yoda, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace

In today’s world we are told to be afraid. The USA has a whole system set up to tell us how much we should be afraid. Some days we are supposed to be Orange level afraid, other days we might have to be Red level afraid. But the problem with fear, as Yoda points out, is that it leads to anger, hate, violence and suffering.

Fear is something that is built in to us. A certain level of fear is healthy. If we had no fear we would walk out on to the road in front of a Hummer with no second thoughts. We would do all sorts of stupid and illogical things. However, the “dark side” type of fear is a fear that says that “those people are my enemies”. It leads to categorization and pretty soon, like in many American’s minds, you are labelling all Muslims as terrorists. This is simply not true. 99.999% of Muslims are peace loving people who contibute to our society in postive and wonderful ways. They are loving fathers and caring mother. But because of fear many people label them ALL as bad.

Fear starts wars. It starts fights. It upsets our mind’s and makes us stressed and anxious. And the funny thing is – most of the time the fear is unnecessary.

So you have a choice. Do you live your life in fear and protect yourself from every possible thing that could go wrong, spending your whole life worrying about things that will probably never happen. Or, do you open yourself up to love and compassion and the goodness in human nature and life a happy and carefree life?

For me the choice is easy.

“There’s no mystical energy field that controls my destiny.” Han Solo, Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope

Probably the best quote that ever came out of Harrison Ford’s mouth is the one you see above. Han Solo was a lone ranger, a true individual – hence is name! The wonderful thing about this is that he was fully independent and took care of his own happiness.

The great thing about this quote is that it encourages people to change their own crappy situations. Han Solo doesn’t leave his destiny up to The Force or God or Jesus or his Boss; he leaves it up to himself. He takes care of his own business and in doing so understands that he is the sole person who can make his mind happy.

But there is a danger here. Being an individual can have it’s downsides. Sometimes strong individuals are tempted to think that the never need anyone and as such become lonely and bitter people. You still need compassion and love in your life. If you live your life trying to be completely solo you will undoubtedly end up a very sad old person.

“What if the democracy we thought we were serving no longer exists, and the Republic has become the very evil we’ve been fighting to destroy?” Padme Amidala, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

The great thing about cinema is that is can make political and social commentary about modern issues without sounding bitter and twisted or being accused of hating America. This statement by the beautiful princess is one such comment and it is extremely important to consider.

I have long been convinced that the US Democracy is heading in strange and concerning directions. The Constitution seems to be read as a list of suggestions, the President who was appointed by a Court and not actually elected by the people can (and does!) override the representatives of the People while the rights of the American people themselves are being taken away due to a mystical war that can never end – the war on terror.

So we need to look at the Princess’ quote and ask ourselves whether holding prisioners in a cell in Cuba without trial is really what we want in a society. Sure, they might be terrorists but aren’t they supposed to be innocent until proven guilty? What about allowing one (dubiously elected) man to veto a Bill passed by your representatives that would permit scientists to use eggs (that would never become babys) to produce treatments that could potentially relieve the suffering of millions because his religion might not like it?

That sounds like dictatorship to me… not democracy.

I am touching on some sensitive issues here but my intention is not to make political statements, it is to get you to ask questions. It is to get you to open your mind. And like Han Solo and Princess Padme it is also to try to get you to realize that you are in charge of your own Politcal Destiny this year. If you do not like the direction YOUR Democracy is taking then you need to change it.

“Do or do not… there is no try.” – Yoda

I love this quote because it teaches people to believe in themselves and their own abilities. It is a confidence boosting quote that encourages you to go beyond “trying” to the point where you just do it. It gets rid of all sense of hesitation and doubt.

I once heard a meditation master say that doubt is the biggest obstacle that westerners have to happiness. We doubt we are good enough, tall enough, pretty enough, fast enough, deserved enough. We doubt ourselves all the time. Yoda is telling us to get over that doubt and just do it. Don’t just try and do it. The statement “I’ll try…” is very different to the statement “I’ll do it”.

“Don’t you see? We don’t have to run away anymore! I am more powerful than the Chancellor, I… I can overthrow him! And together, you and I can rule the galaxy! Make things the way we want them to be!” – Anakin Skywalker

The Revenge of the Sith tore my heart out and stomped it into the ground. It was a fantastic movie that had all the makings of a traditional Greek tragedy. It is centered around Anakin Skywalker who we know is heading towards becoming the extremely evil Darth Vader. Even though we know Anakin is becoming Vader we still are glued to the screen with curiosity. We are curious as to how someone so good can go so bad.

And the answer is power.

Anakin’s sole motivation is to benefit the galaxy. He is one of the most powerful Jedi to ever have lived but with this power comes the arrogance of thinking that he is able to rule and make things better. At the end of the movie he even calls the galaxy “my empire” and cries that only because of his efforts did the universe find peace. He is above the law, the Jedi Council and even his own Master. He feels he is all powerful and like the saying goes; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

For me this is an extremely crucial and touching element of Star Wars. Seeing how perfectly altruistic and compassionate intentions can turn bad when arrogance, unchecked power, greed and corruption are thrown in to the mix. It is fascinating to see the parallels between Anakin’s downfall and the current status of many people and nations on this planet. Fascinating but disturbing.

“Well, I should be! Some day I will be… I will be the most powerful Jedi ever. I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying.” – Anakin Skywalker

The final lesson for this post comes from Anakin. The lesson of death. It is a theme that runs through all the movies and a theme that runs through all of our lives. Death is inevitable. We cannot stop it. Even the most poweful Jedi in history could not stop it. And as we learned in the first quote from Yoda – fear creates suffering. We are all afraid of death but we are not preparing for it.

Accepting the truth of death is something that Anakin could not do. He was not brave enough. But we need to be. We need to figure out how to die with no regrets whatsoever. Yoda did. And as far as I am concerned this is the most powerful lesson that the Star Wars saga has to offer.

Will you die happy and laughing like Yoda or screaming like Anakin?

**Top 10 Daily Mind post.**

Random Posts

Money Stress: How to Talk to Your Husband, Wife or Partner About Money

The Daily Minder — Mon, 31 May 2010 23:28:20 +0000

photo credit: seeveeaar

“Money never made a man happy yet, nor will it. The more a man has, the more he wants. Instead of filling a vacuum, it makes one.” – Benjamin Franklin

The number one cause for marital arguments in today’s society is money. Financial stress puts a huge strain on the relationship and, in the current economic crisis, money problems can be doing more harm than ever before. But these temporary problems need not signal the end of your relationship. In fact, working together during a difficult time will often bring you closer together.

In this post I am going to talk about a few things you can try if you are worried about money and need to talk to your wife, husband or partner. While I am no relationship counselor I am fortunate enough to be in a relationship where openness, patience, honesty and discussion are held to be very important. Because of that we have developed some really helpful solutions over the years that I hope will help some of you out there.

A man never tells?

I was recently talking to a very good friend about money worries and I asked him whether he ever felt like he shouldn’t talk to his wife about money for fear of worrying her or appearing to not be “providing” very well. He quite promptly suggested to me that those ideas are only harmful to the relationship and that, 99% of the time, your wife wants to know whats going on and would prefer it if you discussed any issues with her instead of pretending everything is okay. The more I thought about our conversation the more I realized he was right. Your wife will know if you are stressed or upset about something and as such would prefer to know what is going on in your life. I am quite certain she would rather have the opportunity to help you work through it as opposed to knowing something is wrong but not being told any information.

The sad truth is that most men never tell. Most men are under the impression that they have to provide for the family and if they have any money troubles they aren’t doing their job as a husband or a father or a man. But this stigma can be quite harmful – I know many of the men in my life who live by these rules wind up struggling with intense anxiety and are often fighting with their partners as soon as money becomes an issue. They are too ashamed to talk.

I think if you want to have a healthy relationship when money starts to become a worry you need to set some of these labels aside and really be open to the idea of talking to your partner, asking for help or at least being strong enough to admit there might be a problem.

How to talk to your husband, wife or partner about money

photo credit: Arthur Chapman

If you have anything to add to the points below please leave a comment as it might be really helpful to someone reading this post. Likewise, if you have an experience (good or bad) that you think might help a reader please let us know.

1. Understand that they want to help
One of the things that my friend helped me realize was that my partner would want to help. This was a very important moment for me as it freed me up a lot inside. At first I thought that I would be stressing her or placing my burden on her if I talked about money but now I was learning that she probably wanted to be a part of the solution. Try and understand that your husband or wife loves you very much and they would want to be there for you if things were getting tough.

2. Work together like a company
Having worked in business for many years I know a few little things about making money. And one of the things I know is that if a company doesn’t work together things don’t go so well. Imagine if the finance department didn’t communicate with marketing or sales – no one would know how much money they could spend or needed to make to turn a profit. It would be a very bad situation. The same is true for a relationship; you both need to understand the money situation and know how to communicate all aspects of your personal finances. Both husband and wife need to know how much is coming in and how much is going out on bills, expenses, etc.

3. Don’t judge
I remember growing up and witnessing the most intense financial arguments between my father and mother. They would go on for hours and, at the end, they wouldn’t have resolved anything. One of the things both parties used to do was be very judgmental about any spending’s that had happened over the month. Dad would be angry about Mom buying something for the house and Mom would be angry about Dad eating expensive lunches. But one thing I noticed over the years was that every time they got “told off” by the other one they hid more and more purchases. The were afraid of being judged so they would often buy things and then hide them and tell the kids, “Don’t tell your mother“.

If you want to keep the relationship open and honest it is important to be as judgment-free as possible. Don’t get angry if your husband buys something that you don’t think he needs. The same goes for your wife. Instead of getting upset try using the technique below.

4. Be gentle
One thing I have been learning lately is how we must try to be gentle and kind to other people and not use harsh words. I found a wonderful text by a great Buddhist master from Tibet called 30 Pieces of Advice from the Heart. The master’s name is Longchenpa and in that text he said something that I thought might be nice to share at this point:

“In these decadent times one may reproach the crude people around one.
Although one thinks it will be useful to them,
it is just the source of poisonous thoughts.
To utter peaceful words is my advice from the heart.

Without any selfish consideration, one may,
with affection, tell people their defects, only thinking of their own good.
But although what one says is true this will ulcerate their hearts.
To say gentle words is my advice from the heart.”

When talking to your loved one about sensitive issues I have found it is very helpful to be as gentle and diplomatic as possible. After all, you aren’t trying to make them feel bad or point out their mistakes, you are trying to find a solution to the problem. And I think those solutions very rarely come from harsh speech.

5. Make a list of discussion points aimed at a solution
I once read a quote by an anonymous CEO that said, “Don’t bring up a problem unless you have a solution for it“. He was, of course, talking about going to see your boss about issues in the workplace but I think it fits quite well into our topic. If you want to have a healthy discussion about your money troubles try making a list of points to talk about and make sure that list is aimed at a solution.

The reason we found this to be helpful is because it gives the conversation some direction. Instead of sitting around and getting stressed about all the things that were going wrong we instead talked about what we need to do in the short, medium and long term to fix it. This seemed to diffuse a lot of the tension as well, shifting the focus from the negative to the positive.

Conclusion

Financial stress can really eat away at you on the inside so try to remember that you have a partner who would love to help you sort through the problems. If you are open, honest, gentle and have a plan of attack there is no reason why money worries should take a toll on your relationship. In fact, working together through rough patches might just help to make your relationship stronger and more supportive.

Random Posts

The Most Special Day of the Year?

The Daily Minder — Thu, 27 May 2010 00:36:43 +0000

photo credit: hannanik

For most of us growing up in the west the most special day is probably Christmas or our birthday. We get lavished with presents, good food and we get to spend the day with our loved ones. But for a significant part of the population the most special day of the year is something else. It is called Saga Dawa and it is the anniversary of the Buddha’s birth, death and enlightenment. But why is this day so special? Why do millions of Buddhists around the world look forward to this day every year?

Remembering the Buddha
On this day Buddhists all around the world take time to remember Shakyamuni Buddha and what he did for the world. Over 2500 years ago a man sat under a tree and attained enlightenment and then, instead of remaining quiet, he taught other people how to do the same. He taught us the causes of suffering and how to overcome those causes. He taught compassion, love and patience. And perhaps most importantly for me, he taught us how to rely on ourselves for happiness instead of an external creator. One of his final teachings before his passing was this:

“You are the community now. Be a lamp for yourselves. Be your own refuge. Seek for no other. All things must pass. Strive on diligently. Don’t give up.” – Buddha

The Buddha’s teachings have brought peace and happiness to the lives of millions of people throughout history. Today is a day when we remember that kindness and perhaps make the aspiration to follow his example and help others as much as we can.

A hundred million times the merit
Buddhists believe that on this day, a special lunar event, the merit associated with positive deeds is multiplied by 100 million. This means that whatever good things you do you will be more powerful than any other day. For this reason the monks, nuns and lay community put a lot of effort into meditation and charity on this day, helping as many elderly people, sick people and animals as they can. It is commonplace to see Buddhists spending their money buying animals that are about to be slaughtered and setting them free.

Whether or not you believe in the “100 million times the merit” angle it doesn’t really matter. Today could be a good occasion to make aspirations for the future, to remember what is important in your life and perhaps to start afresh. If you have any spiritual goals then today is the perfect opportunity to begin something new – visiting a temple for the first time, starting a daily meditation practice or giving up a bad habit.

A sincere wish for you all
The Daily Mind now has around 5000 subscribers who tune in to read my garbage. I sincerely and from the very bottom of my heart hope that this blog has only been of help to you. I hope nothing I have said has caused any harm. I genuinely want the best for each and every one of you and I think about you all the time. All of you dealing with panic attacks, I hope they stop. All of you with depression, I hope you find some joy. Anyone dealing with a death or a hard time, I hope something good comes into your life. Lastly, I hope that today marks the beginning of a new chapter in your life and you only experience happiness, good health and well being from now on.

Random Posts

13 Meditation Articles That Could Change Your Life

The Daily Minder — Wed, 19 May 2010 00:38:07 +0000

photo credit: mariskar

For thousands and thousands of years meditation has been helping people achieve good health, a long life and lasting happiness. But just as little as 200 years ago you had to travel to India, China or Japan to learn anything about this wonderful practice. Now, however, with the help of scientists and engineers we can study meditation on the internet and meet Tibetan lamas in our own towns! For those of you interested in meditation I have put together a list of 13 articles that could help you change your life.

Karmapa teaches a Buddhist text for lay people
At the Kagyu Monlam the 17th Karmapa taught a text called Nagajurna’s Letter to a Friend which is a letter that the author sent to his friend, the king. As such it has been a wonderful guide book for lay people who are interested in meditation and applying Buddhist philosophy to everyday life.

The Dalai Lama teaches us how to meditate
Here is a wonderful teaching by the Dalai Lama on how to meditate. He goes through the stages very clearly and shows us how to meditate on an external object or an internal one. At the end there is also a very interesting question and answer session.

The science of meditation
Science is now becoming extremely interested in meditation as it has found evidence that simple ten minute sessions can help to combat anxiety even perhaps as much as some medications. This article from Psychology Today looks at some of these discoveries.

The world’s happiest man
Daniel Goleman is a scientist who has contributed wonderful things to society by investigating meditation from a scientific viewpoint. In this article for the New York Times he looks at someone who is possibly the world’s happiest man.

A short teaching on meditation by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
Dligo Khyentse Rinpoche was one of the greatest meditation masters of our time. He was even a teacher to the Dalai Lama. In this article he goes through some extremely potent instructions for how to meditate properly.

The world’s happiest man teaches us to meditate (video)
Remember the world’s happiest man from above? Well, we are in for a treat. In this video Mingyur Rinpoche takes us on a guided meditation that relaxes us and opens us up to our own awareness. It is just like being in the same room with him. Very exciting!

Compassion can change your brain
Here is an article from Science Daily which shows that meditating on compassion can actually change your brain and make you a more kind and empathetic person. These scientific studies are wonderful for people who might need a little “modern” evidence before giving meditation a try.

How to meditate, a talk for young people
This is a transcript of a teaching given by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, one of the first people to take meditation and Buddhism to America. His teachings are extremely well adapted to westerns and as such a lot of people find his talks very alive and powerful. There is also a list of his other teachings here.

Tibetan masters from the 1960s
When China invaded Tibet the Tibetan people fled to India and there waiting for them was a documentary maker who captured footage of some of the greatest meditation masters of the day. In this extremely rare footage we see some of the ancient Tibetan practices being done in the traditional environment. These are extremely inspiring.

How meditation could save your life
A nice article written by someone who feels that meditation saved their life. This is a great read for anyone starting to get interested.

The seven points of mind training
Here is a type of meditation that was made popular in Tibet and has now swept its way across the world. It is the practice called Lojong or Mind Training and it involves using short slogans to change the way you think about everyday situation. A very profound and simple practice that is used by every single Tibetan Buddhist Lama.

Meditation and cancer
A few years ago a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer and during his treatment he began meditating as a way to deal with the stress. This article is about a study that has been done on cancer patients and how meditation might help them.

Blazing Splendor
This is an amazing blog written by a long time western student and translator of a great Tibetan Buddhist yogi. The blog is full of wonderful stories and inspiring resources that are sure to recharge the batteries of anyone interested in the practice of meditation.

Conclusion

If you know of any other helpful meditation resources please leave a comment with the link. I would really like to build up a large amount of information so people can just stop by and find something new to help them on their path to a quieter and more loving mind.

Random Posts

How to Add 10 Years to Your Life: The Do’s & Don’ts

The Daily Minder — Tue, 13 Apr 2010 04:33:02 +0000

photo credit: gorgeouxness

“Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that can happen to a man.” – Trotsky

It is said that although death is certain, the time of death is most uncertain. Wise people have been trying to teach us this for thousands of years. Long life is considered by many to be the most precious gift that one can be given for it is rare and valuable; an unlikely chance to experience more, contribute to society and redeem our faults.

And although we will never be able to permanently cheat death, modern science is now showing us dozens of ways to add years to our life. In this post I want to show you some interesting things I have found about how to add at least ten years to your life, broken down into a list of do’s and don’ts.

Why live longer?

While researching this post I have come across and interesting perspective – why would I want to live a long life? Why would I want to grow old and lose my mobility, friends and perhaps sanity? Wouldn’t it be better to pass away younger whilst still relatively healthy and independent?

From one point of view I guess this attitude is right. I can understand why people would be afraid of living to an old age if old age meant only a degradation in the quality of their own life. But, from another perspective I think old age is quite a wonderful thing. Time is so limited and fleeting, any extra amount I am given to accomplish my goals would be most welcome.

A different focus
The key thing here, I think, is that your focus must be on charity, contribution, service, others. If you are just trying to live a long life because you are afraid of death or because you don’t want to leave your nice house then the whole idea seems silly. But if you want to live a long life in order to help others, then you are on a very different track.

The list of people who continued to help others right into their twilight years is long and includes wonderful names like:

Shakyamuni Buddha (81 years)
Mother Teresa (87 years)
Gandhi (78 years)
Benjamin Franklin (84 years)

Adding ten years to your life would be a wonderful achievement if it meant you could spend more time working to benefit others, helping your family and friends and contributing to your community and society. Unfortunately, however, there is no way we can add so many years to our life that death is averted. We must always try to remember that.

How to add 10 years to your life – the do’s and don’ts

photo credit: Ka-ho Pang

I have done my best to include as much “further reading” materials in the following tips so that you can go on and read more about the subject, the studies, etc. If I have missed any or you have any further information please leave a comment. It might really help someone.

DO – Meditate
Modern science is now beginning to study the effects of meditation on longevity with some very promising results. In India I had often heard stories of monks and nuns who lived to an extremely old age and I often wondered whether this had something to do with their dedicated meditation practice. Dr. Robert Keith Wallace is a pioneer in this field and published a study in the Journal of Neuroscience which showed that those who practiced meditation for just a five year period had a biological age somewhat 12 years less than their chronological age.

So why does meditation increase your lifespan? Lots of reasons. The main three, however, relate to its ability to deal with stress, longevity and immunity hormones. Dr. Vincent Giampapa has done studies that show how massively these hormones are affected by some simple meditation practice.

Many of these studies have shown that you just need to take a few minutes each day to sit down, relax and focus on your breathing. Calm your mind down and focus on the breath coming in and out of your nose and there is a good chance you will avoid certain illnesses. Scientific proof that the mind can affect the body in a big way.

DON’T – Stress
More than ever before we have concrete evidence that stress can kill you. Sure, it won’t kill you right away but it will lead to things like heart disease and perhaps even cancer. Robert Sapolsky has spent more than 30 years studying the effects of stress. In an interview with Stanford Report he mentions that stress is designed to keep us alive by helping us run away from predators or fight off enemies, and it does this extremely well by releasing certain hormones. But nowadays those same hormones are being released when we worry about money or our next bill. And overtime this has devastating effects on the body.

Stress is also dangerous because it can lead to other life-shortening practices like smoking or binge drinking. When you feel stressed at work you often come home to a junk food meal and some beer to make you feel better. And this makes you sick.

If you want to add 10 years to your life you need to learn how to deal with stress. It is important to realize that you will never be able to eliminate all the causes of stress in your life; the bills will keep coming. The goal is to develop some techniques to deal with those life events.

DO – Drink Green Tea
Green tea has been drunk in China and other regions of Asia for thousands of years. It has formed an integral part of their medical system and has long been known as a substance that can have very positive effects on the body. And now western medical science is backing up those claims with various studies that point to the health benefits of green tea. The study in the previous link surveyed 40,000 people over a ten year period and found that drinking green tea made you less likely to die of cardiovascular disease. And considering that heart disease is the leading cause of death in the western world, it might mean that green tea can significantly increase your life span.

photo credit: code_martial

When drinking green tea it is important to buy it from an ethical producer who is located in a non-polluted region. There is some evidence that suggests that toxins in the air and soil can be absorbed into the tea plant and passed along to your body. It is also very important to drink tea without any milk as a protein in the milk can damage some of the beneficial enzymes in the tea. Tea also has the dual effect of calming you down which can definitely reduce your stress levels.

DON’T – Stay up late
I have written about sleep a lot of times on this blog; how to wake up fresh, how to get to sleep, why staying up late is bad for you, etc. I have always felt the effects of a bad night’s sleep on my own body and mind but the more I look in to the matter, the more I realize that science is discovering the same thing. Late nights and erratic sleep are now understood to be contributing causes to conditions like obesity, diabetes, heart disease and cancer.

The interesting thing about sleep is that no one knows why we do it. But we know that we need it. Since the beginning of our species the body has forced us into shutting down each night for around six to 12 hours. And now that we have the internet, busy careers and, of course, the TV, we are all getting a lot less sleep. And this is worrying a lot of experts.

If you want to live an extra ten years it is important that you have good sleep habits. Try to make sure you go to bed and wake up at the same time each evening and morning, don’t drink things like red wine and coffee before bed which cause you to have poor sleep, and make sure you are getting enough hours. The ironic thing about all of this, however, is that you will probably spend an extra ten years asleep!

DO – Exercise every day
This is nothing new. Exercise has long been known to have benefits like weight loss, increased cardiovascular health and an increased level of emotional well being. But what is just coming out now is how much exercise you need to achieve these benefits. And it is bad news for sweat haters. You need exercise every day. One recent study went so far as to say that you will not lose weight in the long term unless you exercise an hour every single day. That is a lot.

photo credit: David Clow – Maryland

The good news is that there are so many different types of exercise you will never feel bored. Exercise doesn’t have to be running or lifting weights. It could be yoga, pilates, dance classes, tai chi or kick boxing. It is important to choose a variety of different disciplines so that you do not get sick of one thing and give up on exercise altogether. One way you can do this is find a buddy that will share your passion and dedication. Go to classes together, wake each other up at 6:30am to go for a run, have fun together. This is an easy way to add years to your life.

DON’T – Eat Meat
This is likely to be a very controversial heading as the western world is so obsessed with eating meat. We have commercials on television telling us to eat more red meat for its iron and vitamins and we have Government sponsored cookbooks telling us that lots of meat is healthy. But, as happened in Australia a few years ago, it turned out that the cookbooks were paid for by the meat industry. Often times the advice telling us to eat meat has an ulterior motive.

There are now lots of studies that show that vegetarianism is linked with a longer life. In fact, this one tells us that if you eat a vegetarian diet for over 20 years you are likely to add four whole years to your life. It is interesting to note, however, that the scientists don’t really know why a low meat diet increases our lifespan. Is it because fruit and vegetables are so healthy, because meat is unhealthy or because being a vegetarian might also indicate other lifestyle choices? They just don’t know.

Eating less meat is a way to live longer but it is also a good idea for other reason. Two of the big ones include ethics and environmental protection. The meat industry is extremely cruel to animals at every stage of their life. The living conditions are often torturous and the culling and transport stages (especially if live export) are unacceptable. In a day an age where we have scientific and documentary evidence that animals feel pain, emotions and desire happiness, it is entirely baffling that we continue to treat them with such cruelty when using them for food.

I have been trying for a long time to be vegetarian and keep failing miserably so I definitely don’t deserve this soap box. But I have got my meat eating down to around once or twice a week with a view to, one day, have totally kicked the habit. If you love a good steak or a cheeseburger perhaps try limiting it to weekends and see how you go?

Conclusion

These few simple do’s and don’ts are enough to add ten years on to your life if you do them consistently and with dedication. But it doesn’t need to stop there – you can stop smoking and, just by that fact, you will increase your life expectancy. Remember, living a long time is something we should aim for but not expect. It is important to use what little time we have on this planet to help others and bring about positive changes in lives of those around you. Otherwise you might spend 90 years not doing much at all.

Random Posts

About a Man

The Daily Minder — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 00:08:05 +0000

photo credit: Paco CT

“All of us who are worth anything, spend our manhood in unlearning the follies, or expiating the mistakes of our youth.” – Percy Bysshe Shelley

It’s the 1940s and our man, now just a small boy, is growing up in a middle class family with a bunch of brothers and sisters. Mom stays at home while dad goes to work. He brings home a very good income. Our man, still a small boy, is smart, athletic and showing a lot of potential. Everything is going swimmingly. As he grows up he plays sports, studies hard and looks after his siblings. Around age 14 his mother gets sick. A year later she is dead. Everything begins to fall to pieces.

A new mother
Within the year his father had remarried and this woman brings along two children of her own. She hated our man (now 15) and his brothers and sisters. She wants their father all to themselves. She does whatever she can to make their lives miserable; manipulated them against each other and against their dad. The father is too busy to notice that anything was wrong, he is absorbed in his own misery, too focused on diluting the grief with work. The things she did to our man would, these days, be classified as physical and emotional abuse.

At age 16 our man sits his final school exams having been skipped ahead a year due to his exceptional mind. He heads home happy in the knowledge that he will get a place at University in any course that he wants. He has done well. He can’t wait to see how proud his father will be. His wished his mother was there to see. As he walks up the darkened street towards home, bathed in moon and street light, he can see two box-like figures on his porch. What are they? As he gets closer he realizes they are suitcases. On top of the first one is a note from his step mother, “I have packed your things. Time to move out. Don’t bother coming inside“.

Un-Coping
This stage of his life is called un-coping. In reality, it probably extends well beyond the initial grief and lasts until the day he dies. He never really gets over the loss of his mother. He wasn’t taught how. There were no goodbyes, no post-death counseling sessions and very little support from his father. It was the 1950s and 60s and no-one talked about emotions, feelings or how to deal with a loss. You just got on with it.

So that’s what he did. He got on with it. He got on with drinking alcohol and gambling. He got on with meeting lots of women. But none of them dulled the pain forever and none of the girls replaced his mother. They didn’t even come close. Our man, now in his twenties, fell into line and joined the family business despite having dreams and aspirations and the ability to do other things. He did what his father told him to do, even when it wasn’t in his best interests. He never really learned how to be his own man. He was still un-coping with his tumultuous childhood. Perhaps by joining the family business he would win the attention of his dad.

Replicating the disaster
This stage of his life is called replicating the disaster. We might call it “having a family”. Having met a beautiful woman he decides to propose as soon as he can. She accepts the proposal, seduced and infatuated with his charm, wit and tendency towards popularity and success. Completely unaware that his drinking and gambling were becoming an issue, they have two children, one after the other and settle down in the suburbs.

Barely a week goes by where our man doesn’t fight with his wife. Occasionally they fight in front of the children. If they manage to conceal the arguments, the kids would notice the upset mother and the absence of the father. He was at the pub putting money into machines or on horses. Everyone knows it. Soon work colleagues and family friends know it. Our man has developed a reputation around town as a drunk, a gambler and a womanizer. His wife is, of course, the last to find out.

Quite unconsciously our man pushes his loved ones away. He would ignore them when he had free time and make himself busy when he could. His arrival home from work would be characterized by the shutting of doors, children heading to their rooms to bury themselves in books and video games, finding any way to escape his foul breath and poisonous attitudes towards immigrants on the news, stories of his work mates and clients and, above all, women. At an early age his children learned that he was no role model. It was a lesson they never un-learned.

Alone again
This stage of his life is called alone again. If we are really honest, however, we might call it “still alone” because it was not like he ever really connected. But, the wife and family get tired of the gambling and the drinking and they pack up and leave. Our man, now in his 50s, moves back in with his father as the gambling had made renting a place too financially difficult, despite a $100k a year income.

Occasionally his kids stop by to see him, mostly to assuage their own guilt. These visits got less frequent however as the constant complaining and blaming of others grows too suffocating. Our man has, for all of his life, blamed others for his faults. Every weekend at the races was the fault of an inattentive wife. Every night at the pub was the fault of a slow-to-pay client. Every mistake was that of someone else.

How does it end?
And though our story ends, our man lives on. Alone. He has girlfriends, quite a few, actually. But they don’t stick around. Today’s women are too intelligent and independent for that. His children still visit him, three or four times a year. Normally they see a movie so they don’t have to talk to him. The darkness of the cinema works well for our man too, he doesn’t have to look at how grown up his children are, how much he has missed out on.

I can’t help but wonder how it will end. Will our man ever beat his demons? Is he ever going to be able to look in the mirror and recognize his faults? How long can a person hold a grudge against their mother and father? How long can he blame them? Most of all I wonder how our man can continue to engage in the very activities and habits that have caused him ruin. A life of great potential, blamed away, day by day.

That is my story, about a man.