I’m currently preparing for a trip to Thailand where I will learn Thai in Bangkok and I’m keen to further my studies into Eastern spirituality at the same time. In this guest post for the Daily Mind I’d like to share some of the things that Buddhism has taught me.

Life isn’t meant to be easy
Before I discovered Buddhism I had a habit of grumbling and complaining about life. If I was having difficulties at work I’d find myself wishing that things could be easier. I often found myself envying other people who seemed to have an easier ride than me.

One of the things that Buddhism has taught me is that life just isn’t meant to be easy. In fact, the first thing the Buddha taught in his Four Noble Truths (the cornerstone of Buddhist teachings) is that “life means suffering.” In other words, human nature isn’t perfect and neither is the world we live in, which means that the very nature of human existence is painful.

During our lifetime, we will all go through physical suffering such as pain, sickness, injury and eventually death; and we will also endure psychological suffering like sadness, fear and depression. None of us are going to be able to escape that so, rather than fight it, you might as well accept it. With acceptance and realisation, I find comes a lot of peace.

Material things won’t make you happy
OK, this is hardly a new concept, but it’s something that really struck me during my travels around SE Asia and as I learnt more about Buddhism. Another of the Four Noble Truths is that the cause of suffering is attachment and craving. And once I really thought about it, it made a lot of sense to me.

Before quitting my job to go travelling I spent a lot of time and money hankering after the latest gadgets – a top of the range flatscreen TV, the latest smartphone, a shiny new laptop – you name it, I wanted it. But as soon as I got my newest toy the novelty would wear off and I’d find myself wanting something else – or envying other people’s things. I realised I’d got myself into a cycle of craving that simply wasn’t making me happy.

When I set off on my travels, all I had with me was a rucksack with a few clothes in, a notebook and pen and a few other essentials. No gadgets whatsoever. And after I got over the initial twitchiness, I soon found that I no longer missed my smartphone and laptop. In fact I felt sorry for other travellers who seemed obsessed with their phones – spending all their time texting or tweeting rather than living in the moment.

Nothing lasts forever
It’s a simple fact – nothing in this world lasts forever. And although it may not immediately sound like a positive notion, it actually is. Just like the happy times in life come to an end, so do the bad times, which is why we need to accept the impermanence of life.

I find this a particularly comforting thought when I’m going through a bad patch in life – just realising and accepting the impermanence of life reminds me that no matter how bad things may seem, they won’t last forever. This in turn brings a sense of positivity.

Buddhists take this same approach to death. Rather than fearing it and avoiding the subject as we tend to do in the West, they acknowledge and accept that death is inevitable because of the impermanence of life.

I found this to be particularly helpful in coming to terms with the death of my father. After he passed away I felt a combination of bitterness, regret, shock and denial. For a long time I simply couldn’t accept that he was no longer around. But the teachings of Buddhism have helped me realise that this is a part of life and to be accepted. It’s taken me a long time to get to that point, but it’s something I’m now at peace with.

Life is more enjoyable when you live in the moment
Before I discovered Buddhism I rarely lived in the moment. I’d either be dwelling on past mistakes, feeling wistful for days gone by or making plans for the future. My mind was always elsewhere, thinking, planning etc. Even when I first went travelling I found myself thinking ahead to the next country I was going on to, rather than enjoying the experience I was having at the time.

Buddhism has taught me the importance of mindfulness – existing in the present and being aware of your thoughts and actions in the present moment without any judgment.

Samadhi is the Buddhist practice of concentration and mental discipline in order to develop mastery over one’s mind. This is achieved through various contemplative and meditative practices. It’s not an easy thing to master, particularly in today’s busy world where we are surrounded by distractions, but it is a practice that brings about a huge sense of calm, peace and clarity. I think it’s also a really useful way of releasing attachments or cravings.

By learning to live in the present moment we are able to release any longing or wistfulness for the past, or worry or anticipation about the future. And perhaps this is the true way to reach enlightenment.

About the author: Simon has been following the ways of Buddhism for over five years. He loves to study Asian languages and has travelled extensively around SE Asia. Currently he is preparing for a trip to Thailand where he will learn Thai in Bangkok

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The quick anxiety stopper
The quick anxiety stopper is a useful technique I learnt from an EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) practitioner. EFT works by tapping specific energy points on the body whilst mentally or verbally tuning into the problem you want to address. The idea is that disturbances in the energy flow are removed, along with the emotional response and anxiety. The quick anxiety stopper involves tapping on three specific energy points. Start by tapping gently with one hand under your eye, then under your arm with a flat hand in line where a bra strap would lie, then with a flat hand tapping the side of the upper chest just under the collarbone. After tapping these points for a few seconds, take a deep breath and then exhale. Repeat the sequence until you feel less anxious.

The calming breath
Changing the way we breathe can change the way we feel. Each inhalation is linked to the body’s fight or flight response whereas each exhalation is linked to the relaxation response. When we are stressed and panicked our inhalations become more dominant, which is why we need to focus more on the exhalations in order to reverse this.

Try the following breathing technique next time you feel anxious. Breathe in for a count of five and breathe out for a count of five. Try to keep to this steady rhythm for a few rounds of your breathing. Then, start extending the exhalation by holding the breath out for a count of two after you have emptied your lungs. Repeat this several times and you will begin to find your relaxation response taking over. It takes a bit of practice and concentration but, believe me, you will notice the calming effects.

Flower power
Bach flower remedies are made from natural flower essences and can help with a range of emotions related to fear. The essences are simple to take – just put two drops in a glass of water and sip throughout the day. Here are some specific essences for fear and anxiety:

Rock rose can help when are experiencing terror or fright and you feel unable to move or think clearly.

Mimulus helps when you feel fearful of something you can name, such as spiders, illness, losing your job etc. It’s also helpful when you feel shy or nervous of telling others how you feel.

Aspen can help when you feel anxious or fearful but you can’t exactly say what you are afraid of.

Use your imagination
Visualisation techniques can really help to beat anxiety and fear. Try this simple technique next time you feel an anxious episode coming on. Close your eyes and imagine that you are in a relaxing place, such as a tropical island, a beach or the top of a mountain. Imagine sitting or lying there and concentrate on how you feel, what it looks and sounds like. Really focus on the details to make the scene as vivid and realistic as possible in your mind. Allow your senses to take you into a state of complete calm. Remain in this place until you feel that your breathing is much calmer and your mind is more settled. You should find that your fears have evaporated and you are more able to face the rest of your day.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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Be kinder to yourself
Our self-esteem is based on how we feel about ourselves and, for most of us, we’re way too harsh. Take a moment to think about the things you say to yourself. Have a listen to that little voice in your head – is it critical, negative, harsh?

Do you tend to say things to yourself like: “I’m such a failure” or “I never do anything right”? Well, imagine that a friend of yours was feeling down about himself. Would you say those things to him? No! You’d offer support and encouragement wouldn’t you? So, why say them to yourself?

Next time you start coming out with self-criticism, try to think of some positive and encouraging words instead. Look at mistakes as learning experiences, forgive yourself and focus instead on your good points and achievements. Don’t be so harsh on yourself!

Always hang out with people who make you feel great
Being around people who love and respect you will do your self-esteem no end of good. Have a really good think about the people you know who always put a smile on your face and resolve to spend more time with them because they will lift your spirits.

If certain people have a habit of dragging you down, making you feel depressed or criticising you all the time, then make every effort you can to avoid them. If you simply can’t avoid them, then take a look at my earlier article on The Daily Mind about how to cope with Energy Vampires.

Do things that you enjoy
If there’s a particular task you struggle with then you’re bound to feel negative and miserable whenever you do this. In my case I’m terrible with numbers – bills, accounts, you name it – I can’t get my head round it. This is why I leave these particular jobs to my partner. However, I’m great at cooking and it’s something I enjoy, so I take care of this side of our life.

In this sense I try to make sure that I do things I enjoy because they increase my self esteem and feed into that cycle of positivity. Make a list of things you enjoy and know that you are good at – ask a friend to help you – and resolve to do at least one of these things every week.

Practise mindfulness
Following on from that last point, practising mindfulness is a great way of combating the negative self-talk that chips away at our self-esteem. Mindfulness helps to switch off that internal chatter, which the Buddhists call the “Monkey Mind”, and instead replace it with clarity, focus and calm.

Mindfulness involves focusing entirely on the present moment, rather than living in the past or looking to the future. It’s not about trying to change things but trying instead to accept the way that things are for better or for worse. Here’s a simple mindfulness technique that I often practise myself:

Sit somewhere comfortable and quiet where you won’t be disturbed. Turn off your phone and any other distractions, like the TV or radio. Close your eyes and take a few deep, calming breaths. Stay this way for at least 10 minutes, just focusing on your breathing.

If thoughts start to pop into your mind, don’t get stressed or anxious about them, don’t consciously try to get rid of them. Instead, acknowledge them, and then imagine them floating away like clouds in the sky. After the 10 minutes is up, congratulate yourself on having taken time out to relax and still your mind.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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The combination of long hours, stressful working conditions and a poor diet can leave us susceptible to all manner of health problems. So perhaps it’s time to look at your work environment and habits to see if they need an overhaul.

photo credit: dave gunzenhauser

Poor posture
Neck, back and shoulder pain is a common problem for deskbound office workers. If you’re one of the many who suffer with these problems perhaps you should take a look at how you’re sitting at your desk.

Most people tend to sit bending slightly forward whilst concentrating on their computer screen, which actually puts twice as much pressure on the lower lumbar discs as standing does.

The best position in which to sit is with your torso and legs at a 110 degree angle with your knees slightly lower than your pelvis. This will reduce strain on your spine. Also, if you use a mouse, make sure that your arm is at a 90 degree angle and your shoulder is relaxed as this will reduce the likelihood of shoulder pain.

Pain on one side of the neck or shoulder could be a result of holding the phone badly. If you wedge the phone between your ear and your shoulder then the muscles on that side of your neck will actually shorten and become more fibrotic as your body adapts itself to this unusual posture. It’s not good is it?! If you are guilty of this habit, why not consider a telephone headset?

photo credit: kugel

Working through lunch
If you sit at your desk for long periods of time (and let’s face it, most of us do) you could end up developing swollen ankles or joint pains. Sitting hunched up at your desk all day is not good for the health of your body as your internal organs are being compressed and you’re not doing your spine any good either.

Try getting into the habit of getting up and walking about the office at least once an hour to break up the amount of time spent sitting still. Use the excuse of making a drink for your colleagues or walk to another office to get something. Moving about will get the blood flowing around your body to all the muscles and joints.

And whatever you do, don’t commit the cardinal sin of sitting at your desk for lunch! Get out into the fresh air and have a walk about. Eat your lunch outside or go to a lunchtime exercise class.

Caffeine overload
Are you one of those office workers who downs cup after cup of coffee throughout the day? (I must admit I used to be one of these myself.) Caffeinated drinks act as a diuretic and will increase your chances of getting dehydrated which leads to a whole host of health problems (see below).

Herbal teas are a much healthier choice and they are also a great way of getting a variety of herbs that can help with different aliments. For example, ginger tea aids digestion, whereas chamomile tea helps with relaxation. Why not give them a try?

photo credit: BohemianDolls

Water, water
A common problem suffered by office workers is dehydration caused by working in an environment full of computers, heaters and air con. Dehydration can lead to health problems such as a lack of concentration, headaches, fatigue and constipation due to a build up of toxins in the body.

This is why it’s essential to make sure that you drink plenty of water to keep your body hydrated. Six to eight glasses a day of pure, fresh water is the recommended amount. But, if you really want to check whether you’re drinking enough water, check the colour of your urine – it should be clear rather than dark. If it’s dark then you’re not drinking enough fluids!

Snack attack
Cookies, potato chips and candy are a constant temptation for the stressed-out office worker, particularly during the afternoon when the dreaded 3pm slump looms. Sugary snacks will play havoc with your body’s blood sugar levels, giving you an initial burst of energy followed by another exhausting slump.

Try swapping these unhealthy snacks for something much better for you such as yoghurts, sushi, an apple, or a handful of nuts and seeds. My favourite snack is hummus with oat cakes or a variety of chopped up vegetables such as carrots, celery and raw broccoli.

photo credit: Leo Reynolds

Quick Feng Shui tips
Feeling tired and sluggish could be down to the layout of your office, according to the ancient Chinese practice of Feng Shui. By making a few adjustments the idea is that you’ll allow the energy or ‘chi’ to flow more freely and release any blockages of stuck or stagnant energy.

Place a fluorite crystal next to your computer to soak up some of the electromagnetic fields (EMFs) that it emits. These EMFS are said to cause symptoms such as headaches, tiredness and feelings of fatigue.

Cleanse the atmosphere (and add a bit of colour to your desk) by placing a green plant on your desk, next to your computer. Good choices include a peace lily or dwarf banana plant.

Make sure your desk is clear of clutter as this will help you to focus properly. Time to clear away those half drunk cups of coffee and piles of unopened post!

Empty your waste bin regularly to remove stagnancy from the workplace.

Finally here’s one last tip: If you feel exhausted and headachy during the working day, mix a drop each of peppermint, lavender, eucalyptus and lemon essential oils into some aloe vera gel and massage into the temples to boost your concentration levels.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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Mind
Make sure you start every day on a positive note. Instead of reading the papers or watching the news which, let’s face it, generally leaves you feeling pretty miserable, read a book that inspires you instead. You can catch up on the news later in the day, but make sure the first thing you read leaves you feeling uplifted.

photo credit: Anders.Bachmann
Sit and write down a list of simple pleasures that you enjoy and pledge to do one every day. This could be anything from lazing in the bath rather than having a quick shower, to having a bar of your favourite chocolate. The important thing is that it makes you feel good.

Make time each day to focus on a moment in your life when you felt successful and empowered. It doesn’t have to be a major achievement – it could be a moment when your boss congratulated you on doing a good job. Bring to mind how you felt at the time and re-live those feelings of accomplishment, knowing you can do that again.

Body
Breathing in a rapid, shallow way is known to create a state of stress in the body. So take time to make sure that you are breathing properly. Breathe deeply, inhaling into your abdomen and exhaling the breath fully. Repeat this five times and practise whenever you feel stressed or uneasy. It will quickly bring about a state of calm.

photo credit: lakelandlocal

Ensure you take some form of exercise at least three times a week. If you normally drive to work, get the bus instead a couple of days a week and get off a stop early to fit in some walking. At lunchtimes go out for a 20-minute walk instead of sitting at your desk. Take up a new hobby that you really enjoy. Not everyone is suited to the gym, so why not try salsa dancing or cycling?

Most of us have something we don’t like about our bodies, but instead of focusing on your flaws, focus instead on the bits you do like. Look at yourself in the mirror and decide on what parts of your body you like and pledge to make the most of them. Ask a friend or a partner what your best feature is – you might be pleasantly surprised.

Spirit
Every day make a promise to yourself to undertake a random act of kindness. This could include making an anonymous donation to charity, paying a compliment to a friend or colleague, holding a door open for a stranger. Enjoy the fact that you are doing something good for others.

photo credit: RussellReno

Challenge yourself to do something you’ve never done before. It doesn’t have to be something as extreme as abseiling (unless you really want to!) Pushing your boundaries and stepping outside of your comfort zone gives you the belief that you can achieve your goals and cope with difficulties that come your way.

Make time to meditate every day – five or 10 minutes will make all the difference. Switch off the phone and sit somewhere with your back supported by a wall or chair. Close your eyes and relax. Start at the top of your head and work your way down your body, relaxing the different parts in turn. Breathe deeply, counting to five as you inhale and five as you exhale. Keep this up for five to 10 minutes, then slowly open your eyes.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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There is a growing belief among complementary therapists that our emotional state can often hold the key to the pains or illnesses we suffer from, and this is a topic I’m going to explore in this blog post.

photo credit: Lotus Carroll

Ailments and emotions
I’ve been writing about spirituality and alternative therapies for several years now, and I’ve discussed the links between physical ailments and emotions with many different practitioners.

The general thinking is that when a person experiences an emotionally traumatic event – for example a bereavement or a relationship break-up – this can bring about a blocking of the body’s normally free-flowing energy or “chi”. If this block is allowed to continue, the body becomes unbalanced, which can lead to pain and illness. By analysing and tackling the emotional cause of the energy block, the resulting ailment can often be eased.

Out of balance
Reiki practitioner Julie Mills uses a mixture of energy healing and conventional counselling when working with her clients. She told me: “Often if a person is in a state of emotional stress then this can lead to tension in the body and the muscles, which in turn leads to aches and pains and even illness, rendering the body unbalanced. I find that it can really help to address the underlying emotional situation in order to tackle the source of pain.”

photo credit: eduardo.meza

Holistic healing
Journey therapist Carolyn Brown shares this way of thinking and also uses a mixture of conventional and complementary therapies. Originally she trained as a physiotherapist but became frustrated by the fact that she was unable to fully heal her clients. She looked towards a more holistic way of thinking, and came across the practice of Journey Therapy.

“Through the Journey method I help my clients to find the emotional source of their pain,” she says. “I then use a process of guided visualisation to help them work through the issue and come to a form of resolution. I have had excellent results and found the Journey work to have helped where the physiotherapy couldn’t.”

Personal experience
Spiritual healer Emily Mayfield knows from personal experience how a person’s emotional state can affect their health. When she first started working as a healer she found herself feeling permanently exhausted and run down.

After talking to other alternative practitioners she came to the conclusion that she had taken on board her clients’ emotional problems and that the distress this caused her had led to her falling ill.

“I realised I had to distance myself from their problems and to heal myself before I could carry on healing others,” she says.

Holistic therapies
Here are some holistic therapies which tackle the emotional causes of pain and illness, and which you may find of interest.

Dru Yoga
The philosophy behind Dru Yoga is that there are five layers or “koshas” of our being. These begin with the physical body, followed by the “prana” or energy levels. Next is the emotional layer, followed by the intellectual layer and finally the blissful layer or soul force. Through practising certain postures, hand movements and breathing exercises, the individual learns how to target each layer directly to allow a healing transformation to take place.

When practising Dru Yoga, participants are often said to find that traumas and emotionally distressing thoughts come up to the surface, but are gently and slowly released through the physical body.

photo credit: Nicholas_T

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
Described as an emotional form of acupuncture, EFT involves stimulating various energy meridian points on the body by tapping on them with the fingertips. During a session the practitioner will get the client to tune in to the problem they want to address, then tap the 11 acupressure points along with a series of affirmations.

The belief behind EFT is that unresolved negative emotions contribute to most of our physical ailments and that EFT can help to clear away this “emotional debris”.

Zero Balancing
This hands-on therapy is said to be particularly helpful in treating stress and the illnesses caused or exacerbated by it. Practitioners claim it encourages a feeling of quietness and centeredness within the body and mind, helping a person to cope better with changes as well as helping to resolve past trauma.

Zero balancers believe that physical damage can lead to blockages in the body’s energy flow, resulting in emotional trauma, and likewise that emotional shocks can result in physical symptoms. Therefore practitioners aim to bring about harmony between the physical body and its energy flow.

What do you think about the links between our emotions and our physical ailments? Do get in touch as I’d love to hear your views!

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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photo credit: Klafkid

What are affirmations?
Put simply, affirmations are statements we make to ourselves, and these can be either positive or negative.  Throughout the day our minds are filled with thoughts and chatter and this is, in effect, a stream of affirmations. For example, you might find yourself thinking: “I’m so broke. My paycheck never seems to last,” which is a negative affirmation. But at another time you might find yourself thinking something more positive like: “I love this weather. What a gorgeous day.”

Through these statements of fact that we make to ourselves we are subconsciously creating our life experiences. Our beliefs about life are just learned thought patterns which we have developed since childhood. Some of these may work to our advantage, but others can work against us, stopping us from achieving our potential.  So every affirmation we make to ourselves is a reflection of our beliefs.  If you find yourself constantly making negative affirmations it follows that your beliefs about life will be negative.

In order to turn this around, you could start practising positive affirmations to train your subconscious mind towards a more positive state. It’s basically reprogramming your mind for the better.

photo credit: jjay69

How to create affirmations
Start by thinking about the different areas of your life that you would like to improve, eg health, finances, work, relationships, spiritual growth and so on. Think about each area in turn and write down a few positive statements summing up how you would like this area of your life to be. It’s important that the statements are in the present tense and are positive, focusing on what you DO want rather than what you DON’T want.

Here are some examples of positive affirmations, relating to different areas of life. You might want to try these yourself, but it’s much better to write your own as they are tailored specifically to you.

• I have a healthy body and a happy mind.
• I have plenty of energy.
• My mind is calm and relaxed.
• I have an enjoyable and fulfilling job.
• Money flows easily and naturally into my life.
• I radiate love and happiness.
• I have a happy, loving relationship with my partner.
• I am successful in all that I do.

How to use affirmations
The way to use affirmations is to repeat them on a constant, daily basis so that they sink into your subconscious. You could incorporate this as part of your daily routine. For example, as you are brushing your teeth or showering, remind yourself to repeat your affirmations. As you are doing your hair or dressing, look at yourself in the mirror and repeat your affirmations. This is a very powerful way of making these statements hit home.

Another idea is to write your affirmations on pieces of paper and leave them in places around your home where you will see them and be reminded of them. You could get together some cards and write a different affirmation on each one, place them in a bowl and draw one out each day, with the intention of focusing on that particular affirmation.

Why not use your imagination to come up with different ways to work with your affirmations? Good luck and stay positive!

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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NLP is a personal development system based on an understanding of how the mind works – how people use thoughts, feelings, words and actions – and using this understanding to enhance our potential. Life’s everyday challenges can often produce stress, anxiety or anger if we are unable to find the right strategies to deal with them, so this is where NLP can come in handy.

photo credit: aithom2

Here are some things NLP can help with:

• Releasing negative emotions such as anger, depression, anxiety, sadness, fear, hurt and guilt.
• Helping people who feel stuck in their careers or relationships, or those who are looking to change direction in their life.
• Boosting confidence and self belief in all areas of life.
• Demonstrating how to focus on what you want and feeling good, rather than on what you don’t want and feeling bad.
• Providing effective listening and communication skills to improve relationships with colleagues, family, partners, and most of all yourself.

Here are some techniques you might want to try out yourself:

The ‘swish’ technique
This technique is used to replace any negative thoughts surrounding a past experience with positive ones. For example, you might have been asked to give a presentation at work and it went badly, so now you’re dreading the next time you have to give one. Here’s how to dissolve those fears.

Begin by closing your eyes and imagining yourself in that uncomfortable situation, giving the presentation. Make the picture as vivid and realistic as possible. Visualise the audience and see yourself standing there, looking uncomfortable. We are going to call this your ‘anxious moment’.

Next, visualise yourself having successfully given the presentation. Like before, visualise everything in vivid detail. See the audience looking impressed and visualise yourself looking relaxed and confident. Allow yourself to feel those positive, happy, confident feelings. This is your ‘successful moment’. Then, turn the image to black and white, and shrink it until it’s just a tiny dot.

Next, fill your mind with your ‘anxious moment’ again. Make sure it fills the whole of your vision – then, imagine in the bottom left hand corner, a tiny black and white image of your ‘successful moment’. When you’ve got this firmly in your mind, say “SWISH” and switch the two images, so that the successful moment is filling your mind’s eye in full colour and your anxious moment is a small black and white image in the bottom left corner.

It might sound tricky, but keep practising this technique several times each day. Do it until it becomes second nature and you can easily switch the ‘anxious’ moment to the ‘successful’ one.

photo credit: eljoja

Anchoring
A technique known as ‘collapsing anchors’ can also help change negative feelings into more powerful, positive thoughts. Here’s how to do it:

Let’s say that the situation which is causing you negative feelings, and which you want to turn around in your mind, is an upcoming driving test. Start off by bringing to mind a situation in which you felt positive, happy and confident. For example you might think of your wedding day or a social occasion where you felt really good.

Relive that moment in your mind and, as you experience it, apply a stimulus, known as an ‘anchor’. One suggestion is to press your index finger down on the first knuckle of your hand. Do this several times until simply touching the knuckle creates the positive state.

Then, in your imagination bring to mind an image that triggers negative thoughts for you (for example the upcoming driving test) and anchor this once by pressing down on the next knuckle of the same hand. Then, with your index finger and middle finger, press both these anchors at the same time and feel the negative anchor dissolving into the positive.

Release the negative anchor knuckle and hold the positive anchor for a further five seconds. As a test ask yourself how you feel about your driving test now?

photo credit: pedrosimoes7

Setting intentions
For this technique, let’s say that your mother-in-law is coming over to visit and you’re absolutely dreading it as you don’t tend to get on that well. By setting in place some positive intentions you should be able to reverse your negative view of the situation into a more positive one. For example:

• Say to yourself that you are responsible for how you feel. You choose how you feel in response to your mother-in-law – you are in control of your thoughts so choose to feel confident and adequate rather than angry and insecure, for example.
• Before the visit, decide that you will notice at least one thing that you admire or are grateful about your mother-in-law by the time she leaves your house.
• Decide that you will take note of at least one positive thing that you have never before noticed in your mother-in-law.
• Then before she arrives, visualise the successful outcome of the visit. Think about what that means to you. For example everyone feeling happy, having had a good weekend, and you feeling closer to your mother-in-law.

photo credit: JoelMontes

The detached observer
This great thing about this technique is that it helps you to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and gain a new perspective on a previously negative situation. Let’s say, for example, that you’ve had an argument with your partner because he or she hasn’t done the housework and you feel that they’re not pulling their weight around the home.

Instead of nagging or starting an argument, instead try writing down how you view the situation and list all your feelings surrounding it. Then go away and do something else for an hour or so to clear your mind of your thoughts.

Next, put yourself in your partner’s shoes and imagine how they might see the situation – write down all their possible thoughts and feelings. For example, they might work long hours and want to do their share around the home, but want the time to relax first.

Again, go away and do something different for a while to clear your mind. Lastly, read through both accounts as an objective observer and try to come up with some ways to resolve the situation for both sides. Try to be as objective as possible.

There are many NLP techniques around, but these are some of my favourites and ones that I use myself. I hope you find them useful too!

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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So, for this particular blog post I thought I’d suggest some of my favourite natural pick-me-ups to help you get through the daily grind still feeling fresh and raring to go.

photo credit: JPott

Yogic breathing
An ancient yogic breathing technique known as alternate nostril breathing will give your energy levels a boost, if you’re feeling listless. The theory is that by breathing through one nostril at a time, you take in equal amounts of oxygen to both sides of the brain, therefore boosting overall brain function. Here’s how to do it:

Hold your right nostril closed with your right thumb, and breathe in slowly through your left nostril for a count of four. Close your left nostril with your ring finger and release your thumb from your right nostril. Exhale, steadily, through your right nostril, to the count of eight.

Then inhale through your right nostril for a count of four, close your right nostril with your thumb and breathe out through your left nostril for a count of eight. Start off practising a couple of rounds initially and gradually increase. I learnt this during a yoga retreat in India and I think it works really well.

Nutrition
As I said earlier, often the reason why we experience energy dips is because we’re not balancing our blood sugar levels. Foods containing sugar and refined carbohydrates cause a surge in blood sugar levels, later followed by a slump, leaving us feeling exhausted and in need of another sugar hit. Here are some tips to stop this happening:

Eat little and often. Try not to go more than three hours between each meal or snack. Include some protein with each meal or snack as this will slow down the release of sugars into your bloodstream and will help you feel full for longer. Good sources of protein include fish, lean meat, eggs, tofu, nuts, pulses and legumes.

Snack on a handful of almonds or walnuts; a couple of oatcakes with hummus or cottage cheese; or a few vegetable crudites with bean pate. Avoid alcohol, processed foods and refined carbohydrates such as white sugar and white flour as these leave you feeling sluggish.

photo credit: Rjabinnik and Rounien

Aromatherapy
Aromatherapy oils can be used in massage, added to baths or heated in an oil burner to freshen the air. A carefully chosen blend can invigorate the senses, lift your mood and restore your energy levels. However, it’s important to use essential oils with care, and remember that they must not be used undiluted on the skin.

For a natural pick-me-up, try combining the following blend of energising oils with an eggcupful of a pure base oil such as sweet almond:

• 1 drop of ylang ylang
• 2 drops of grapefruit
• 3 drops of bergamot

Then gently massage into your neck and shoulders in a rhythmic motion and feel those energy levels rising!

Store cupboard remedy
Next time you feel that mid-afternoon slump coming on, don’t reach for a double espresso, try a ginger and lemon tea instead. Here’s how to make it:

Take a two-inch piece of fresh ginger root, peel it thoroughly and cut into thin slices. Bring four cups of water to the boil in a saucepan and add the sliced ginger. Cover the pan and let it simmer for about 15 minutes. Strain the water, discarding the ginger, and pour into a mug. Add a slice of lemon and enjoy!

You can keep the remainder in a flask to drink throughout the day, whenever you feel in need of a lift.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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Most people experience anxiety in some form or other, and in these uncertain times stress and worry are very much on the increase. But according to statistics, around one in 20 people are now thought to suffer from Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), where negative and anxious thoughts dominate daily life. Doctors dish out anti-depressants as a quick-fix for these problems but this doesn’t provide a long-term solution. Here are some techniques for tackling anxiety that I’ve found to be helpful, and I hope you find them helpful too.

photo credit: spaceodissey 

Breathing exercises
If you are feeling anxious, a simple way to calm yourself down is through focusing on and regulating your breathing. When we feel nervous the in-breath becomes more dominant than the out-breath, so in order to restore a sense of calm we need to reverse this.

Focus on your breathing and try to breathe in for a count of five and breathe out for a count of five. Don’t worry about the speed at which you’re counting, just keep to a steady pace of five in and five out. Now start to extend the out-breath by holding the exhalation for an extra count of two. Don’t strain, just let the breath settle into a gentle rhythm. As your out-breath becomes longer your relaxation response will begin to take over. The only thing that will take you away from this are your thoughts and imagination. The more you practise this the more you will feel able to gain control of your anxiety.

Visualisation
Visualisation is a powerful tool for calming the mind and reducing feelings of anxiety and nerves. A simple visualisation exercise involves conjuring up in your mind an image of a ‘special place’, a place where you feel safe and free from fear. (I’ve used this very exercise during a harrowing visit to the dentist and I can tell you it got me through the ordeal.)

Start by closing your eyes and bring to your mind an image of a place where you feel safe and happy. It might be a tropical beach, a meadow, a forest, or even your bed. It’s entirely up to you – just use your imagination. Make the image vivid in your mind by thinking about what you can see, hear, feel and smell. Use your senses to guide you to a state of calmness. Stay in this calm place until you notice that your breathing is more regular and your mind is calmer. When you feel ready, open your eyes and breathe deeply in and out.

photo credit: p medved

Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a technique which originates from Buddhist meditation and it’s particularly effective in calming anxiety and focusing the mind. We spend so much of our time worrying about the future or agonising about the past that we forget to enjoy the present moment. This is where mindfulness comes in as it encourages us to focus on the present without allowing our minds to get caught up in unhelpful thought patterns. Here’s a few ideas you might want to try:

Sit or lie somewhere comfortable and begin scanning through each part of your body, paying attention to all the physical sensations you feel. Start with your toes and move up your legs to your stomach, chest, shoulders, neck and head, gently easing away any tension you notice. Finish by taking a few long, deep breaths.

When you are getting ready in the morning, really pay attention to everything you are doing, instead of worrying about what’s coming ahead in the day. When you’re in the shower, focus on the sound of the water and feel the sensation of it washing over your body. Enjoy the feeling of getting clean. When you’re brushing your teeth, focus all your attention on the task. Do the same with getting dressed and making breakfast.

Each morning make sure you take five to 10 minutes to be quiet and meditate. Look out of the window, listen to the sounds you can hear and be aware of everything around you. Be aware of the stillness and enjoy the quietening of your mind.

Dietary changes
Stabilising your blood sugar is an important factor in keeping anxiety at bay. Nervousness and a rapid heartbeat can often kick in when blood sugar levels become too low. The trick is to eat little and often, aiming for three meals and two snacks per day, and try to eat some protein with every meal. Good sources include fish, chicken, beans, lentils, nuts, seeds, tofu and eggs.

photo credit: DennisSylvesterHurd

Refined and sugary foods and stimulants such as coffee initially cause a rapid rise in blood sugar levels, quickly followed by a crash. So it’s best to steer clear of sugar, caffeine, alcohol and processed foods as these can all trigger panicky feelings. (If, like me, you love a good espresso and a glass of red, I feel your pain.) Swap refined (white) and sugary foods for brown, wholegrain alternatives such as brown rice, pasta and wholemeal bread and try swapping caffeinated drinks for fruit or herbal teas like calming camomile. You could also keep a diary of everything you eat and drink to see whether this is affecting your moods. One last tip is to try supplementing your diet with magnesium as this naturally relaxes the body and mind and a deficiency can cause anxiety and rapid heartbeat.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
This is an interesting technique which is based on similar principles to acupuncture in that it addresses imbalances in the body’s energy flow. I must confess I felt a bit silly when I first tried it, but it did help to calm my nerves, which is why I’m sharing a shortened version of it here with you.

EFT works by gently tapping specific meridians or energy points whilst mentally and verbally tuning into the issue or problem (in this case, anxiety or nerves). The belief is that disturbances to the flow of energy are removed along with the emotional response and anxiety.

If you find yourself getting really anxious about something, try tapping gently five times on each of the following points with the forefinger and middle finger of one of your hands: between your eyebrows; under one of your eyes; under your arm (about two inches lower than your armpit); on the chest (just below the collarbone in the middle, you will find a spongy indentation). Lastly, tap on the outer side of the hand five times. You should begin to feel your breathing regulating.

Good luck and I hope these techniques help you in your anxiety. I’d love to hear any feedback you might have.

About the author: Liz Parry is a writer specialising in holistic health and wellbeing, personal development and spirituality.

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